You're browsing the archives of College Roomies From Hell.
You can search these comics too.

show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]

College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[XD-00, perceiving a threat to Margaret, is beating up Roger off-panel.]] / Roger: [[off-panel]] AUGH! Margaret, get your damn monkey OFF ME! / <> / <> / Margaret: Good boy! Good monkey! Keep at 'im! Go! / Margaret: Just keep him distracted for a minute or two... now WHERE is that blasted gun of mine? / [[A hand offers the gun to Margaret.]] / Dr. Sydney: Here you go, pumpkin. / Margaret: Sweet. Thank you, / [[Dr. Sydney, holding his wounded left side with one hand, gives the gun to Margaret. He is smiling. Margaret looks back and is stunned.]] / Margaret: Dad
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Marsha is walking down a corridor. She hears Roger still wrestling with XD-00.]] / Roger: [[off-panel]] AAARGH! Stop it! I'm not in the mood to rassle! OW! Help! Hey Margaret, call your simian OFF! / [[Marsha enters the fray and distracts the gorilla, scratching the top of his head. A heart appears above XD-00's head.]] / XD-00: <> / Marsha: Aaaaw lookit folks, it's a kyooooooot ape of DOOM! Who's Mama's boy? Who's a nice monkey? Now don't go mangling people and Mama'll give you a cookie! / Roger: [[winded, changing back into human form]] Boy, Marsha, am I GLAD to see you! Now we can go home and also THANKS for getting that beast off my back, I need to go human so I... / Roger: Uh, say, what's wrong with your- / [[Marsha suddenly turns and knocks out Roger with one of her metal armbands.]] / <> / Roger: [*]
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Blue and Vernon Damascus are in a secret passageway with a one-way see-through wall. Blue is shocked at the sight of Marsha plastered face-first against the wall. Vernon, holding his big gun in one hand and a remote control in the other, is talking to someone via his earpiece.]] / Vernon: Yes, I'm inside the walls of Hall A-02. The girl is with me. What? No, don't worry. I've got Franklin here. Be ready with the glue, of course, just in case. / Vernon: No, I made the winged girl punch the werewolf and I stuck her to the wall again. Both are neutralized. I know, I should just give me a raise, right? Just send me a dozen soldiers and we'll take them by surprise. / [[Vernon finishes his earpiece conversation and heads down the corridor.]] / Vernon: All this peeking behind the wall was instructive, but it's time to get out there. There's a secret door round the corner. A little bit of electrons flow is what they need to calm down. / Blue: Is there really a need to be so drastic??? / Vernon: Not really. But c'mon, it'll be fun. / Blue: Welllll if you say so... / [[Blue pulls out her taser.]] / <>
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Dr. Sydney and Margaret are holding each other. Margaret is crying.]] / Margaret: We, we need to get you looked at *SOB* I didn't want to shoot you, I couldn't *SNIFF* / Dr. Sydney: Don't worry, kid, the whole left side of my body is almost entirely metal! You just broke some skin, that's all. / Margaret: I thought you were dead! How can you be alive after what happened to the... to the house??? / Dr. Sydney: Long story. But I'm here and that's all that matters for now. / [[Margaret hugs her father.]] / Margaret: I can't believe you're alive... I was even thinking about you a while ago... down in the garden. Did you make him? You did! / Dr. Sydney: Mr. S? Yeah, I guess I was thinking about you when I made him. I didn't think you would ever see him, but I'm glad you did! / Margaret: Don't you EVER leave me again. Do you hear me? I'm pissed. I really am. / Dr. Sydney: I'm glad you are. That means you missed me. / Blue: [[off-panel]] Hey! HEY, STUPID!
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Blue, supporting a woozy Dave, glares at Margaret.]] / Blue: What the Hell are you doing??? The gig's up, we'll have the troops on top any minute now! Move! And don't you dare touch him, you PSYCHO! / Margaret: [[abashed]] Oh NO! Dave! I'm sorry, I was just out of... / Dave: *groan* / Blue: Sorry, your ass! Now get out of my face and see if you can wake Roger up and free Marsha! / Margaret: Okay! Okay, I'm... gonna see if the monkey... / Blue: Just f#@%ing GO! / Dave: Ugh... stop fighting... please! / Blue: That's okay, babe, I've got you. I promise, no more fighting unless we find some mud. / Dr. Sydney: It's useless. Leave the girl and go, you can't release her without a remote control. / Blue: Who the HECK are you, anyway? Here, try, I don't know how to do it. / [[Blue hands Dr. Sydney Vernon's remote control.]] / Dr. Sydney: Does your escape plan involve a lot of swimming? / Blue: No, we've got a chopper. Help us and you're in. / Dr. Sydney: All right, but if we all get captured then I was just pretending to cooperate.
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Margaret is placing an unconscious Roger on XD-00's back, while Dr. Sydney fiddles with the remote control.]] / Dr. Sydney: Well, this remote doesn't work. It's fried. You're going to have to leave this girl here, after all. / [[Marsha, still stuck to the wall, glares at Dr. Sydney.]] / Margaret: Her name is Marsha, Dad. And we're not leaving her. We'll just have to look for another remote and come back for her. Where can we find one? / Dr. Sydney: This is not my section, so I don't know. I suppose I could ASK for one to be delivered. Anyway, Marsha is pretty much a violent nut, and I'm sure she'll KILL me as soon as she's free, so I'm just saying, it would- / [[The conversation is interrupted by the appearance of a Dundun guard armed with a glue gun. The guard aims the gun at the group.]] / Guard: GLOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! / <> / [[Glue flies everywhere.]]
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Everyone is covered with glue and stuck fast, except for Dave and Blue.]] / Dave: [[still woozy]] Sniiffllr... okay, where'th the undo button for thith day? Because theriouthly, GLOOKKAKE? / Vernon: [[off-panel]] Well done, soldier! This is indeed a troublesome lot! / Blue: [[dismayed]] What? NO WAY! You should be floored! Go get on the FLOOR! / [[Vernon Damascus raises his goggles and grins.]] / Vernon: I've got to hand it to you, little girl: you have GUTS! But not a lot of brains, do you? I have an electric gun! Of course I have to wear Electric Shock Absorbers! / Blue: [[off-panel]] What??? C'mon, that doesn't even exist!
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Vernon Damascus fires his electric gun at Dave. Blue yanks Dave out of the way just in time.]] / Blue: [[gritting her teeth]] NNG! / [[The lightning bolts hit the Dundun glue gunner off-panel.]] / Dundun guard: [[off-panel, as he dies]] DEAAATHGKKH! / Vernon: Whoops! There goes the gloonie! / [[Blue is now enraged at Vernon for threatening Dave's life.]] / Blue: How DARE YOU??? / Blue: You're shooting my BOYFRIEND with your goddamn Franklin, is THAT what you're DOING?! / [[Blue shoves Dave aside into a patch of glue on the wall.]] / Dave: [[surprised]] Blue, what / <> / Vernon: [[off-panel]] Who, me? NO! / Vernon: [[off-panel]] See, it's actually a "StingRay" but I call it Franklin because it gives me the warm fuzzies, and... / Blue: Go on! Shoot him now! Shoot him through ME! Let's see you DO IT! / Dave: [[to Blue]] Uh, perhaps capturing ourselves isn't the greatest idea ever / Blue: Shut up! I know what I'm DOING! / Vernon: [[off-panel]] HAHAHA! And what is, exactly, THAT?
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Blue and Dave are stuck to the wall, with Vernon Damascus and his Dundun guards aiming their weapons at them from either side.]] / Blue: I just want to talk to you. I just want you to think really carefully about this situation. / Vernon: There's not a lot to think about. You came here looking for trouble, and now you're my prisoners. The End. / Blue: And yet, it's not. Because I'm the daughter of your fiancee. You can't simply kill me, and I can make your life a living Hell for the rest of your life. If you still want to marry my mother, I mean. / Vernon: I'll let your Mom deal with you. The rest of your friends are mine, though. Sorry. / Blue: No, you don't understand. I'm not just going to my corner until I be a good girl. I'm saying that unless you let ALL of us go, you're going to regret it forever. / Vernon: [[off-panel]] Forever seems like such a long time. I'll take the risk. Bring the drugs and take them away. / Dave: [[looking determined]] Well, how about this? / Blue: Uh, Dave... / Dave: How about "NO"?
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Dave is stuck to the wall, with Blue in front of him. He is glaring at Vernon Damascus, and his eyes are now glowing blue, reigniting his nosebleed and the dancing black spots.]] / Vernon: [[off-panel]] How about no what? / Dave: You're going to let them all go. And they're going to call me from the chopper. So I know they're safe. / Blue: [[whispering to Dave]] (Dave, don't!) / Vernon: Heh. That's a really bad plan! What about you? / Blue: [[whispering to Dave]] (I mean it! Please!) / Dave: I don't care. What are you going to do to me, kill me? Torture me? Mess with my mind? Been there, didn't even get a goddamn shirt. / [[Dave's head is now shaking as his eyes glow even more. His nose is bleeding copiously, and the black spots are more numerous.]] / Vernon: [[off-panel]] What, are you being scary? Am I supposed to be scared? / Dave: I'm saying that I'm still here. And I am visualizing your brain. Soft and squishy. You could have asked me what I can do with my lasers. But it never... occurred to youhnnn, and I can / [[Dave begins to lose his lucidity.]] / Blue: Dave, NO! It's not worth it! / Dave: [[struggling]] hfff make you die, make you a mute, amnesiac, vegetat-t-tive drooling / Blue: [[alarmed]] DAVE! / Dave: coma .... / [[Dave starts to black out from the strain.]]
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Dave is in bad shape. He's seeing lots of black spots, and is on the verge of blacking out. Blue is crying now.]] / Blue: Oh GOD, Dave? DAVE!!! / Dave: [[groaning]] Uunnghhn....... / Blue: Why did you have to do that, you IDIOT! You're going to kill yourself! / Dave: [[barely audible]] D... distracshun / Blue: What??? / [[Dave blacks out.]] / Vernon: [[off-panel]] A shame, really! I really wanted to know what was going to happen next. Now, if no one has any further objections, we'll GGGUHHKKH / [[Vernon Damascus has been rudely interrupted by Mike sneaking up, grabbing hold of him, and coiling a tentacle around his throat. Mike has a sinister grin on his face, and is wielding Sticky in his other hand.]] / Mike: Why, hello, hello / Mike: DADDY
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Mike has a stranglehold on Vernon Damascus, who manages a weak grin.]] / Vernon: Welllllllll Mike! Nice to see you up and about! Your Mom will be very happy to see you... / Mike: [[annoyed]] She won't be so happy when I suddenly drop dead from sheer annoyance. What are you doing to my friends? To my GIRLFRIEND? To my SISTER? / Vernon: I'm doing nothing to them, Mike. They came looking for trouble. I just captured them, that's all. / Blue: [[off-panel]] He had Marsha, Mike! I HAD to do it! / Mike: What the Hell... / Vernon: Hazel gave her to me to study her mutation, Mike. If you have a problem, why don't you talk to her? / Mike: But she's not here! And you are. So why don't WE talk about it? / Vernon: I'm sorry, Mike, but this is the second time you kids have wrecked the base. This time I can't simply let you walk away. / Mike: [[smiling widely]] Aw, well you see, that's the THING! / Mike: Who says we're going to go ANYWHERE?
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Mike maintains his stranglehold on Vernon Damascus as the conversation continues.]] / Vernon: And... what is that supposed to mean? / Mike: It means we're staying. We're getting medical attention. And whatever else we need. Isn't that right, Daddy? / Vernon: Heh, heh, heh. I don't think you're in position to make demands here, Mike. / Mike: You're wrong. I'm my Mom's just-resurrected son. I will have anything I want in the world, you can be sure of that. / Vernon: Yes, but *I* resurrected you. / Mike: That's what I'm saying! I mean, we're going to be a big family now, right? So I've got MY organization, and you've got yours, why are we fighting? Let's cooperate! Let's all be friends! / Mike: I'm sure you'd like to know about my werecoyote friend, and my tentacle, and my lovely Sticky here! I'm sure you're DYING to know what they can do, ain't you??? / [[Mike grins maniacally as he squeezes his tentacle a little tighter around Vernon's throat. Sticky begins to flash and glow with power.]] / <> / < / Vernon: [[disconcerted]] Um... wait a minute... / Mike: So yeah, what ya saying? Huh? Yes? / Vernon: That... sounds like a deal?
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives Mike: I'm glaaaaad we / Mike: could / Mike: have / Mike: * / [[Mike releases his grip on Vernon Damascus and drops to the floor as he suddenly passes out from exertion. Vernon is surprised at this turn of events.]] / Beirut: Are you okay, sir? / Vernon: [[massaging his throat]] UGGH! Yes, I'm fine... I'm more worried about this kid. I don't even know how he could make it here... / Beirut: We're awaiting your orders about what to do with the rest of them. / Vernon: Why, they're my guests, Beirut. Treat them accordingly. Call the medical staff for the ones who need it. / [[Vernon turns to Blue, who is supporting an unconscious Dave.]] / Vernon: Well, little Blue, you brought your friends, you make them behave. Get accustomed, it's going to be the same way for sleepovers. / Blue: [[glaring at Vernon]] Whatever. Don't expect a card from me on Father's Day, by the way. / Vernon: Tsk tsk! Let's not rock the boat for now. I'll let your Mom deal with you. / Blue: Is that supposed to make me hate you less?
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Blue awakens in bed at the sound of Dave shouting in his sleep.]] / Dave: Help! / Dave: OH GOD help me! I'm BLIND! / Blue: CHT! Hey, wake up! / Dave: Hhh... uh? / Blue: You're just having a bad dream! / Dave: What? I'm not blind? Where am I? What's going on? / Blue: We're home. Everything's fine! Just go back to sleep, okay? / Dave: Oh... kay. / [[Blue goes back to sleep, but Dave rouses a bit, looking about the room and feeling his head.]] / Dave: ???
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Dave sits down to a breakfast of pancakes and coffee, which Blue made for him. He still looks quizzical.]] / Dave: ... / Blue: [[off-panel]] You can start eating if you want, mine will be done in a minute! / Blue: [[off-panel]] Besides, I gotta check on the bacon... / Blue: [[off-panel]] Um, Dave? What's wrong? / [[Dave smiles as Blue appears, wearing a magenta apron.]] / Dave: Nnnothing. It all looks delicious. / Blue: Well, it's not going to poison you. I'm not Marsha. / Dave: Heh! Hehehe. / Blue: Seriously, what's with you? You want some jelly? Oh, wait. I KNOW! / Dave: Uh, Blue... / Blue: Whipped cream! Coming right up! / [[Blue goes to get the whipped cream.]] / Dave: [[off-panel]] Um... did I get drunk or something last night? REALLY DRUNK? / Blue: Huh? Of course not. What...? / Dave: [[off-panel]] I don't mean to be scary or something, but I have no idea where I am, why I'm here, and what I did yesterday. / Blue: Oh Christ, not this AGAIN...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives Blue: Look. Don't freak out, okay? You're going to be fine. It's just a short-term memory lapse. You'll remember everything in a couple of days. / Dave: HUH? Okay, short-term memory is scarily NOT like misplacing your keys! What happened? What's going on? / Blue: This is because of that last time, in Dundun Island. Do you remember that? / Dave: [[getting alarmed]] What the F[[obscured]]K, do I have BRAIN damage??? Is that what you're saying??? / Blue: I am SAYING: Don't freak out. / Blue: It's happened before, a couple of times. The Dumdummies say it'll stop. Eventually. Now eat, and I'll fill you in later. / Dave: Great. If I couldn't pass calculus before, good luck on trying to do that with brain damage. / Blue: You aced that test, honey. School is out.
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Dave is lying on the couch, his head in Blue's lap.]] / Dave: I can't believe we're living together. For two months now? How did you manage to convince your mother? / Blue: I told you, Mom was so happy to see Mike out of the coma she agreed to everything she asked. Damascus convinced her, too. / Dave: So we just threw ourselves upon the mercy of Dundun??? That's depressing. / Blue: Not exactly, Dave. We just made a half-assed cooperation act so they would leave us alone. And Mike is planning on using that as an excuse to get inside information and free technology. / Dave: [[off-panel]] Blue, they're evil. And now we're HELPING them? How could I ever agree to this??? / Blue: You didn't. / Dave: And as always, no one ever listened to me. / Blue: Well, they did, but Mike convinced them anyway. / Dave: AWESOME. Well, I'm not doing it. If they want to kick me out of NOES, so be it. / Blue: Uh... in fact, they did. / Dave: EH???
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives Dave: [[angry]] How DARE they kick me out of NOES??? I'm still suffering the consequences of belonging to their stupid nonsense organization! Who cares? Screw them! It was the most stupid organization ever and they're all losers and I wouldn't want to belong to it even if they CRAWLED crying their eyes out and... / Blue: [[rolling her eyes]] *SIGH* / [[Blue begins to exit the room.]] / Dave: Hey! Where are you going? You still didn't tell me WHY they kicked me out! / Blue: [[slightly irritated]] Okay, first, I don't KNOW. You guys had a meeting, and then you were out, and everybody got angry every time I asked. So that's that. / Dave: Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get angry, it's just that I'm confused, and... / Blue: Second, I'm going to the grocery store. We need stuff, and YOU need to calm down before you break your brain AGAIN. / Dave: You can't leave me here! I know nothing! I don't even know this part of town! / Blue: Hurm! Okay, let's go... but behave or there's spanky! / Dave: Is that a threat or an incentive?
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Dave and Blue are at the grocery store, in an aisle selling breakfast cereals: "Chocowboy!", "Serious. Cereal." and "Iwana Flakes".]] / Dave: Um. So... what kind of arrangement do we have? I mean, that's a lot of groceries, and... / Blue: Relax, Dave. I'm paying for this. You can buy stuff if you want too, but you can have anything I buy. Get it? / Dave: That sounds like a sweet deal. So how could I ever agree to it? / Blue: Because you need to eat well to recover, and I totally intimidated you into accepting! / Dave: I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this. I'm practically living off you. / Blue: Geez. It's for my own good too! I would hate having to label everything, and besides I cook for two! Just chill! / Dave: What about the rent? I'm not going to let you pay my rent. / Blue: We don't pay rent. I bought the apartment! Believe me, you're okay with this! You'll remember! / Dave: Are you sure? It seems that for the last two months, I've been acting suspiciously out of character. / Blue: No offense, but it's a change for the better!
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Dave is lying on the couch, with a sleek Chester on top of him.]] / Chester: [[happily]] PURRRRRR / Dave: Holy crap, look at YOU. I don't think you have ever looked this good. / Dave: I guess the cheap food served at irregular intervals wasn't really helping to bring out the pedigree cat, huh? / Dave: I hope you're happy, because this is too perfect. In fact, it's all a bit unnerving. / Chester: [[miffed]] PFT! / Dave: Now, don't be like that. Of course I shouldn't complain. I'm sure that when my memories come back it'll all fall back into place. / Dave: But RIGHT NOW I'm feeling like someone is playing the biggest practical joke ever on me, and they're waiting for me to lower my guard so they can pull the rug out of under- / <> / [[The phone rings. Dave and Chester look up.]]
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Dave answers the phone.]] / Dave: Hello? / Dave: Hey, is anyone there? Hello? / <<*click*>> / [[Whoever's on the other end hangs up.]] / Dave: [[thinking]] Huh. That's my number. I mean, my OLD number. / Dave: [[thinking]] Who's living there now? I'm gonna call back... / <> / [[Dave dials the number.]] / Mike: [[through the phone]] Hey Blue. I just called but... / Dave: Uh, Mike??? Okay, wh- / <<*click*>> / [[Mike hangs up on Dave again.]]
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Dave begins to get mad at Mike.]] / Dave: [[thinking]] Wh... did he just HANG UP on me??? / Dave: [[thinking]] OKAY, now we're gonna see... / <> / [[Dave dials Mike's number again.]] / Mike: [[through the phone]] Who is this? / Dave: Mike! What the Hell's the matter with you, what's the big idea...? Hey! HEY! / <<*click*>> / [[Mike has hung up on Dave yet again.]] / Dave: Why you goddamn little freak, I'm gonna UUNNGGH! / [[Dave gets angry enough to flash his laser eyes, causing a sudden acute headache. He drops the phone.]]
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Dave has a memory flashback: he's arguing with Mike at a NOES meeting.]] / Mike: Can you be a bit more reasonable? It's not all just black and white! We have to consider... / Dave: [[angry]] Well, stupid me! What was I to expect from a guy who made a deal with the DEVIL? / Mike: [[annoyed]] It wasn't just MY decision! We all voted! / Dave: And I was outvoted, just as ALWAYS! Why, I'm just the guy who blew his circuits for the group, but you? YOUUUU came back from the DEAD! Right? RIGHT? / Mike: Look, I'm trying to convince them, but you're NOT helping me. / Dave: WHO said I want to come back? In fact, I don't even want to see you guys EVER again! / Mike: Okay, now you're... / Dave: [[flashing his lasers]] OUT. NOW! / [[Dave is surprised by the sudden memory.]] / <<*BLINK*>>
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Blue enters the room wearing a blue bathrobe and blue towel after having had a bath.]] / Blue: I heard the phone ringing. Who was it? / Dave: Uh, no one. Wrong number. / Blue: If that is so, why do you look distressed? / Dave: Distressed? I'm not distressed. Who's distressed? Not me. / Blue: [[not fooled in the least]] Distressed. Yeah. / Dave: Drat. Okay... It's just that I remembered something. / Blue: Yeah? What? / [[Blue sits down on the couch in a provocative pose. One side of her bathrobe slides down her sexy shoulder.]] / Dave: I'm not sure... Mike was there, and we were arguing... / Blue: Right, that's like 99% of your whole history. What else? / Dave: [[mesmerized by sexy Blue]] I seem to have completely forgotten again. / Blue: [[smirking]] Aaaah well, *I* would be worried if that didn't happen from time to time.
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Dave and Blue are snuggling in bed. Dave finally snaps out of his sex-induced brainwarp.]] / Dave: Wwwwait a second. Were you trying to distract me? On PURPOSE? / Blue: "Trying"? Pfft! What do YOU think? / Dave: But that's not fair! Bathrobes should be outlawed! / Blue: [[smirking impishly]] I KNOW! / Dave: Seriously... don't think I'm complaining on the tools and methods... but why did you do that? / Blue: Christ, Dave, because I KNOW you. And I've been here the last two times you glitched. I don't want you to get upset because you're not looking at the whole picture. / Dave: And WHAT is the whole picture? / Blue: Let me ask you a question. How do you feel? / Dave: Confused. / Blue: But physically? / Dave: Double-plus awesome. / Blue: [[smiling]] Well, when it all comes back to you, you'll feel like that in EVERY way.
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Dave and Blue are talking in bed.]] / Dave: And what does THAT mean? / Blue: It means you're HAPPY. Stop questioning yourself. You made a decision, and so far it's been good. / Dave: But how could I leave NOES? What about Satan??? / Blue: Leave that to the others! That was never your fight, Dave. That was Margaret's. / Dave: But I promised... / Blue: So what? Others have made promises to you, and BROKE them. / Dave: I feel like this was a huge mistake. / Blue: It was not. Sleep now, and tomorrow you'll remember everything, and it'll be fine! / [[Dave is now lying awake in bed while Blue sleeps.]] / Blue: ZzzzZZzzzZZzzz
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Dave gets out of bed]] / [[Dials phone]] / April: Hello? Okay, this better be good. / Dave: APRIL??? / April: Can't this wait till tomorrow? It's midnight and SOME of us have to work. / Dave: Oh. Okay. Um, can I speak to Margaret? / April: Margaret??? Ba-psssch... oh wait. You're on it again. Am I right?
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives Dave: On what? Look, I just want to talk to Margaret. Is she there? / April: Of course you are. Or you'd know she's at work. / Dave: BLAH. Okay, what time can I call her again? / April: I'm gonna hang up now, Dave. / Dave: No! Dammit, why does no one want to help me? Why does everybody hate me now? WHAT did I DO? / April: I don't hate you, Dave. You guys saved my life. / Dave: So help me! WHEN is she going to be back? / April: Um, she's at Dundun Island, okay? She won't be back until classes begin. / Dave: WHAT? She's working at freaking DUNDUN island NOW? Has everybody gone MAD? / April: Dave, I can't talk to you right now. I promised that if it happened again, I'd just let it run its course. / Dave: Promised who? / April: I promised Blue. And myself. Last time you had a SEIZURE. Big one. / Dave: I had a...? / April: Let it go, okay? Just... go to sleep. *click*
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Dave, wearing a hoodie, is outside Joe's mansion, pushing the intercom button.]] / Joe: [[through the intercom]] What is it, Dave? / Dave: Uh, hi? Look, I just want to speak to Roger for a sec. / Joe: [[through the intercom]] It DEPENDS. / Dave: On what? / Joe: [[through the intercom]] I wouldn't want you to go into one of your fits, and drool and pee all over my nice floor, you SPAZ. / Dave: WHAT did you just SAY??? / Joe: [[through the intercom]] Haha! Kidding! You have to keep your temper in check, kid. / Dave: [[getting angry]] I... YOU... let me in or ELSE! / Joe: [[through the intercom]] Okaaaaay. / [[Dave meets Roger inside and takes off his hoodie. Roger, holding Pepe, is wearing blue pajamas with a Z printed on the front.]] / Dave: [[irritated]] Is THAT the roommate you traded me in FOR? Nice going, Roger. / Roger: Dave, man. You've been here for two and a half seconds and you're already bitching??? / Dave: I'm just saying he's a freaking JERK. Go on, say he's not. / Roger: Maybe, but he doesn't go around at 1 a.m. making demands. / Dave: I'm just asking for a friendly ear, that's all. / Roger: As long as I don't have to change my name to Van Gogh...
 

Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60
61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80
81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 >>