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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Roger: I'm sorry, Mike. Carrying around my pet rock has done something to me. / Mr. Hand: What do you think? I beat you SINGLE-HANDED! HAH-HA-HA! Get it, Mikey? / Mike: Don't you MIKEY me! OOOOOUCH! Stop twistingmy arm! And if you stick to bad puns, you're not gonna need to kill me! I'll do it myself! / Dave: Just great. I warned him that wackos are stronger than normal people... / April: If that'd be true, you guys would be HULK! / Margaret: SEE? I told you a killer-hand insurance was necessary! / {{Part of the "Mr. Hand Strikes Back" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / April, Margaret, Dave, Mike: OH MY GOD! I'm gonna die... / April: and receive a Darwin award! / Margaret: Like a nerd and surrounded by idiots! / Mike: and I'M GONNA DIE!! / Dave: virgin... / Mr. Hand: Okay... Which one of you kiddos wants to go first? / April, Margaret: HIM!!! / Mike: Hey! / Dave: Thus spoke the people, oh mighty hand. Him. / Marsha: Ah, hello Mr. Hand! Long time no see! / Mr. Hand: Hiya there, hotcakes! / {{Part of the "Mr. Hand Strikes Back" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Margaret: I usually hate it when Marsha brings people into submission by being cute, but this time we really needed it i guess. However this wouldn't have happened if we had some molotov cocktails around... / Roger: But I like her method better... / Dave: I wonder if she's naked under that robe... / April: I can't believe that Mr. Hand traded in world domination for some back scratching... / Marsha: It always works! / Mike: Not fair! He is naughty, he gets his back scratched. I am naughty, I get my lung punctured! / {{Part of the "Mr. Hand Strikes Back" storyline}} |
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[[Girls' Apartment]] / Marsha: I'm gonna cook something today... After I saved your little bottoms the least you can do is eat it! / Margaret: Why save us? To bring us death in a most horrible way? / April: NOT on you LIFE! Remember what happened last time you cooked??? / April: YEAARGH! / Marsha: OOOPS! I think that was not dead after all! / Marsha: That NEVER happened! / April: Well, it sure FELT like it. / Margaret: *snicker* / {{Part of the "Fabric Eating Bugs" storyline}} |
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[[Girls' Apartment]] / Marsha: AARRGH!!! / Marsha: Mmmh... and now it's SOAKED! I'll better get the water out before... / Marsha: OUUCH!!! HOT! / April: I smell catastrophe upon the wind... / Margaret: That's it! If it's not flamb i'm not eating it! / {{Part of the "Fabric Eating Bugs" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Marsha: Mike? I need your help... My cooking experiment went terribly wrong! But my friends are gonna laugh at me if they find out! I just GOTTA cheat! / Mike: 'Terre Neuve'... yes, I know where it is... bring you what? How do you spell that? Oh lah lah! French cuisine, i see. / Mike: Expensive? Oh... well, don't worry about that... okay, I'll get it and I call you. / Dave: Just what the hell are you DOING???? / Mike: Stealing now, explaining later! / Roger: If i'm naked shaking me upside down is pointless, right? / {{Part of the "Fabric Eating Bugs" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: Isn't the world UGLY enough just the way it is? Put some clothes on, Roger, for God's sake. / Roger: Why Mike, I don't wander around naked just for the aesthetical value of it. It happens that I don't have any clothes. / Mike: Why am I not surprised a bit? / Roger: Well, you should be... because I opened the closet door and this huge horde of bugs attacked me and ate all my clothes! / Mike: Next time share the pot, Roger. / Roger: He went that way. / {{Part of the "Fabric Eating Bugs" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Dave: Roger? / Roger: Yes? / Dave: Maybe i'll hate myself forever, but why are you wearing NEWSPAPER??? / Dave: Whoa! What...? / Dave: Oh, i see. Hand me the editorial page, please. / Roger: Why isn't the world sad enough? Are you sure you don't want the funnies instead? / Caption: Censored! / {{Part of the "Fabric Eating Bugs" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Dave: I can't believe it! those bugs ate every piece of fabric in the whole house! No sheets, no towels, no curtains and no clothes! / Roger: Relax. It may be the best time to use your kinky leather underwear... / Dave: I have no leather underwear, you moron! Our only hope is Mike... we can't let him in or he'll share our fate. / Roger: I'm bored with waiting. But what can we do? Let's see. Motorcycling is out. Bungee-jumping is out. Studying is ALWAYS out. Strip poker is definitely out. / Mike: Hey, I'm back. What? AAAARGHH! / Roger: And going out, ever, is OUT. / Dave: opening my eyes again is out, too. / {{Part of the "Fabric Eating Bugs" storyline}} |
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[[Outside]] / Mike: I'm telling you, I'm naked! I got the food you wanted, but I can't take a stop out because a plague of bugs ate my clothes. / Marsha: That's ridiculous! But I believe it because it's so, like, TOTALLY YOU... Let me think... oh, I think I got it. We will use windows! / Marsha: Put the container on the end of the broom... / Mike: This is just not gonna work, Marsha. / Marsha: Of course it's gonna work, what do you think I am, a DOOFUS? / Marsha: AAAARGHH!!! / Bill Gates: HAH! We're winning that stupid monopoly court case! That just goes to show 'em who's the guy with the bucks! / Mighty cream pie-interceptor bodyguard: "And the geek shall inherit..." / Arrow: Mighty cream pie-interceptor bodyguard / Bill Gates: Yer fired. / Mighty cream pie-interceptor bodyguard: I suppose you're gonna upgrade to a french-cuisine-interceptor bodyguard, right? / {{Part of the "Fabric Eating Bugs" storyline}} |
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[[Girls' Apartment]] / April: Mm-mhh! This thing you cooked is really good! And the little pieces of ceiling make it even more tasty... now, as the only person with leather clothes, you're gonna be kind enough to buy some for us, RIGHT? / Marsha: Of course! Buy why the hurry? You still have to eat dessert... / Margaret: What have I done to deserve THIS?? / {{Part of the "Fabric Eating Bugs" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: Well, the whole city is in panic and buying leather. I suppose we could do the same, but we just don't have that kind of money. / Dave: Y'know, I HAD that kind of money, until someone SHOOK IT OUTTA ME! / Mike: Aaaw, stop whining! You woulda done the same thing in my place. / Roger: Hiya all you naked people! Go figure, seems like those bugs don't like costumes. / Mike: To dress like an idiot or not to dress. That's the question. / Dave: You don't get arrested for dressing like an idion, Mike. / Roger: A gentle reminder, Dave. Attempting to eat a person in a chicken suit is considered a felony. / {{Part of the "Fabric Eating Bugs" storyline}} |
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[[Costume Shop]] / Roger: Are these horrendous and ridiculous costumes the only ones you've got left? / Earl: Nope. / Roger: But these are the cheapest, right? / Earl: right. / Roger: okay, I'll take them... Incidentally, how come you're not wearing a costume? / Earl: And why the hell should I wear... OH MY GOD!!!!! I'm naked!!! / Earl: AAAARRGH! / Roger: Well, he just lost the little dignity he had left... / {{Part of the "Fabric Eating Bugs" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: "Continued on page 6"??? This is lousy! Where's page 6? / Dave: Mike, do you have page 6? I've looked everywhere! / Mike: Maybe you're WEARING it, pal! / Dave: Damn! I can't see it! Is it there? Is it??? / Mike: When you stop chasing your own butt, could you play dead, too? / {{Part of the "Fabric Eating Bugs" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Dave: For God's sake, Mike... the guy did us a favor, after all!!!! / Mike: GNNNNAAAAARRRFFF! JUST LET ME AT 'IM! / Roger: Nice little doggie... nice little doggie... have you got all your shots? / {{Part of the "Fabric Eating Bugs" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Dave: I've finished the food inventory and this is what we have. An air molecule. / Mike: Yum. / Roger: You don't know how to look for things, Dave. Let me handle this. / Dave: We're gonna starve to death and it's all your fault, you THIEF! / Mike: Right! I'm "Mike the Bandit", and you know who you are? "Dave the angry flower"!!! AH-HA-HA-HAH! / Dave: GGNNNRRFFFF! No jury would EVER convict me! / Mike: HA HA HAHAHA! / Roger: Voil! Found a radish! / {{Part of the "Fabric Eating Bugs" storyline}} |
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[[Girls' Apartment]] / Dave: 7.6 / Mike: Take note, Roger. Waist: 7.6 / Dave: Excuse me. A radish doesn't have a "waist" / Dave: Geez! Then whatever: 7.6. / Roger: Mmmh. That makes our temptative slices 2.5' more or less. / Dave: Not fair! The one who gets the waist gets the best slice! / Mike: "Objection, your honor! A radish doesn't have a waist!" / Roger: Then I'll make the first cut, Dave makes the second and Mike gets to choose a slice first. / Caption: 30 second later... / Dave, Mike: *sigh* / Roger: And now the dessert... / Dave, Mike: the WHAT? / Roger: Had a few bucks left so I bought a 20-pound bag of zoomorphic crackers... / Dave: Um, I see the intelligence of chickens is clearly underrated... / Roger: I get into trouble so easily I'm already a crisis expert... Now easy, Mike! This thing is supposed to last for the rest of the week! / Mike: As this is clearly a sign of the end of the world, I don't care about tomorrow. / {{Part of the "Fabric Eating Bugs" storyline}} |
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[[Library]] / Dave: Hi Margaret! / Margaret: Oh, hi, Dave. / Margaret: !! / Mike: You've been using WHAT? / Dave: Subliminal messages! / {{Part of the "Sub-love-me-nal" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: You say you're using subliminal messages to get into Margaret's mind, but i don't understand HOW. / Dave: You can't tell? Then it works! It's the shirt, of course... / Dave: This shirt pattern is so complex you can hide any message in it...so I printed out "LOVE ME" on a transfer sheet, and then ironed it, and... why are you staring at me like that? / Mike: I don't know. I suddenly feel the urge to kiss you passionately... / Dave: Maybe it works TOO MUCH! / {{Part of the "Sub-love-me-nal" storyline}} |
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[[Outside]] / Dave: Hello there, Margaret! / Margaret: Hi... Dave. / Margaret: GNNNRFF!!! What's happening to me? / Dave: Mmmh... I think someone's gonna get a date soon! / Jock: Say, cutie. What are you doing saturday night? / Dave: Waxing my legs, washing my hair and joining a nunnery??? / {{Part of the "Sub-love-me-nal" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Dave's Conscience: YOU! You have turned to the dark side! Using subliminal messages to make Margaret love you is just as low as you can get! Whatever happened to good ol' fashioned FLOWERS and CANDY?? / Dave: Who are you? / Dave's Conscience: I am your conscience, of course! / Dave: Aren't you supposed to be sitting on my shoulder? / Dave's Conscience: Happy? Well, now we can discuss that fact that you're the most evil gome on the face of the Earth... / Dave: You were supposed to be a lot smaller, too... / {{Part of the "Sub-love-me-nal" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Dave's Conscience: You should be glad I'm big. That means you're a good guy almost always. / Dave: What'd happen if I was bad? / Dave's Conscience: Well, Santa'd bring you nothing, you'd have more fun, and you would go to hell. And your conscience would be small, almost nonexistant. / Dave: Like what? / Mike's Conscience: You're not going to use that hole in the wall to spy on the girls, are you, Mike? / Mike: He-heheh! What do YOU think, "chili wings"? / {{Part of the "Sub-love-me-nal" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Dave's Conscience: Promise me you're gonna throw away that subliminal shirt, and... / Dave: THROW it AWAY? Are you nuts??? This shirt is brand-new! I have enough money problems already! / Dave's Conscience: Well, avoid Margaret when you're wearing it! Just like you do with football players! / Dave: If it says 'Like me' instead of 'Love me', would that be equally nasty? / Dave's Conscience: Sorry, no go. See ya a lot later, I hope. / Dave: Boy, what a pest! I hope he flies over a lake next duck season! / {{Part of the "Sub-love-me-nal" storyline}} |
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[[Girls' Apartment]] / Margaret: And what are YOU STARIN' at?? / April: YOU'RE IN LOVE! YOU'RE IN LOVE! / Marsha: Yessss!! The girl has a heart! And Mike owes me 20 bucks! / Margaret: God, I need HELP. / {{Part of the "Sub-love-me-nal" storyline}} |
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[[Girls' Apartment]] / Margaret: I'm NOT in LOVE! / April: Aaaw c'mon! What's so wrong with being emotionally vulnerable once in a while? / Marsha: But you have all the symptoms! Vacant stare... food sculpture... denial... / Margaret: It's something else, something WEIRD. I've never felt so stupid before, so obsessed, so OVERWHELMED. It's like my own brain is against me... / April: Yep! Sounds like love! / Marsha: According to some internet list, you're already through phase three! / Margaret: Why don't you put yourselves in orbit? / {{Part of the "Sub-love-me-nal" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Roger: Geez. Who needs love, anyway, Dave? Isn't love a fragile delusion, the blind leading the blind, and the road to hell...? / Dave: Even though I'd take you a lot more seriously if you weren't carrying Fluffy around, you're probably right... / Roger: Then why ask for it, "Love me" guy? / Dave: You mean you can SEE it? Damn! You're right, it's clearly visible! / Roger: I think it's the red neon sign on the street. But who needs love? Get a pet rock like me and be happy forever... / Dave: A lot more like pathetic forever... See ya, I'm gonna get something to dye this shirt. / {{Part of the "Sub-love-me-nal" storyline}} |
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[[Apartment Building]] / Dave: I never thought this subliminal shirt would bring me so much trouble! Now, if I can avoid Margaret and red lights today, everything will be fine. / Margaret: Hi! Going down? / Dave: No! I mean, yes! But i'm taking the stairs! More healthy, you know! / Sign: WARNING Slippery wet floor / {{Part of the "Sub-love-me-nal" storyline}} |
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[[Elevator]] / Dave: It's only three flights down... what could go wrong? And here we go. Three... two... / Dave: one... / {{Part of the "Sub-love-me-nal" storyline}} |
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[[Elevator]] / Margaret: What's that? / Margaret: I think you're pushing the emergency button with your back... / Margaret: you back, and... / Dave: pushing.. the what with the what? / Margaret: "LOVE ME" / Dave: Aaaw, baby. You know you don't need to ask! .... / {{Part of the "Sub-love-me-nal" storyline}} |
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[[Elevator]] / Margaret: Uh, Dave... your shirt says "LOVE ME" and... / Dave: It's NOT what you're thinking! It's NOT a subliminal message! / Margaret: SUBLIMINAL MESSAGE??? Well, that explains a whole lot! / Dave: No! I mean, I never thought it would work, really!! You gotta believe me! / Margaret: Ooooh, I just ought to... / Dave: Go ahead, hit me. I probably deserve it. If it's gonna make you feel better, give me your best shot, c'mon. / Margaret: mph! / Dave: urk! / {{Part of the "Sub-love-me-nal" storyline}} |
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