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|College Roomies from Hell!!!||[[Inside Dundun Island. Mike holds his head]] / Mike:Hhhh... HYDROGEN! / Mike: Lithium sodium potassium! / Mike: Rubidium. Caesium. F-francium. / [[Mike is startled by voices]] / Mike: Beryllium magnesium calcium strontium / Voice 1: [[off-panel]] What the hell happened? / Voice 2: [[off-panel]] I don't know! I think Hall B-3 collapsed! / [[Mike runs toward the gantry]] / Mike: [[thinking]] Boron alluminium gallium indium thallium... / [[Mike climbs the gantry]] / Mike: [[thinking]] Ununtrium carbon silicon germanium tin lead ununquadium|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, March 26, 2004||[[An anonymous computer Operator types on a keyboard while receiving messages on a headset]] / Guard: [[through headset]] Houston? We have a problem. / Operator: I'm not Houston. / Guard: [[through headset]] Well, where IS Houston? / Operator: Busy and away. What do you want? / Guard: [[through headset]] Hall B-3 is flooded, and we wanted to see if Houston could ask Damascus about... / Operator: Damascus??? Whoa, I wouldn't recommend it. Today everything is second priority to the main event. Why don't you ask Brazil? / Guard: [[through headset]] Brazil's with Damascus, and he's not answering. / Operator: Well, I'll mark B-3 as out of order. Just use the other halls. / Guard: [[through headset]] What do we do about the flood? / Operator: Forget it. You'll fix it tomorrow.|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives||[[Back with Dave and the werecoyote Roger...]] / Dave: Did I doze off? / Roger: If falling asleep for several hours and scaring the crap out of me is dozing off, then yeah. / Dave: Several hours?? Ugh. Mike hasn't returned, I guess. / Roger: Hmmph. What are we gonna do? / Dave: Wait and see? / Roger: Wait and see how we get killed, most probably. / Dave: Hey, you're stealing my gig. I'm supposed to be the gloomy, pessimistic one. / Roger: Actually, I'm not really worried about them finding us. / Dave: I don't want to have this conversation. / Roger: I don't care. Dave, I can't just sit here while you're d...while uh, you get worse. I don't think my already battered mind could take that.|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives||Roger: I really think it was a bad idea. I mean, subtlety has never been Mike's strong point.
/ Roger: He probably just looked for a visible spot and shouted "Come and get me, suckers!" at the top of his lungs.
/ Roger: I should have gone instead of him, but I was so messed up at the time... uh, Dave? / Roger: Dave? Oh, there you go again.
/ [[Dave's asleep]]
/ Roger: *sigh* That's all right. Maybe it's for the better.
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives||[[Dr. Sydney is fixing himself. He's inserted a screwdriver up his nostril]]
/ Dr. Sydney: [[thinking]] A good thing about a metal face is that you can fix a broken nose pretty easily...
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, March 31, 2004||[[Dr. Sydney walks down a corridor. Alone.]] / Dr. Sydney: [[thinking]] No room for doubt. I'm screwed anyway. / Dr. Sydney: [[thinking]] I really don't like this place either. I don't know if I can get back to the real world with this face, but what the Hell, I've got skills. / Dr. Sydney: [[thinking]] Anyway, if I'm going to escape, better do it now while everybody is distracted and - / [[Dr. Sydney is pulled into an open doorway]] / [[Dr. Sydney is standing very, very still in the arms of a bloodstained werecoyote]] / Roger: I've got good news and bad news for you. The good news is, I'm not hungry anymore. The bad news is, I still can use you as a toothpick. / Dr. Sydney: [[thinking]] Forget my face. I see I still have my animal magnetism.|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, April 1, 2004||[[Dave is awoken by a discussion outside his mini-sub]] / Dr. Sydney: [[off-panel]] AUGH! I'm telling you, I'm not into furries! / Dave: [[thinking]] crap! / Roger: [[off-panel]] Very funny. Move it, your medical knowledge is required. / Dave: [[thinking]] ??? / Dr. Sydney: [[off-panel]] Unsorry, can't help you. I'm not a vet. / Roger: [[off-panel]] And I'm not the patient. Wait, I'll show you. / [[Roger points Dave out to Dr. Sydney]] / Roger: Here's the impatient patient. Watch out, he bites. / Dave: [[his eyes glowing blue]] Grrr! Ow! The Hell...? Roger, who is this guy??? And what is he doing here? / Dr. Sydney: Hell is evidently here. Dr. Sydney. Realizing you were the one who wounded Brazil. Also, wetting my pants.|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, April 2, 2004||Dr. Sydney: Well, do you want a pretty lie, or the truth? / Roger: The truth, of course. I promise I won't hurt you. Now tell me. / Dr. Sydney: Three hours. Four, maybe. / Roger: There must be something we can do. He doesn't look THAT bad to me... / Dr. Sydney: We're not talking about a paper cut here. I can't do anything else with what I have. He needs stitches, and some supplementary plasma... / Roger: Hey, Dave? I'm gonna be gone for a little while. I need you to keep an EYE on the doctor. Dig? / Dave: WHAT??? That's crazy! / Roger: He needs some supplies to fix you up. I'll get them. / Dave: But I'm feeling better! Roger, you can't leave me here alone with that guy! / Roger: You worry too much. By the way, you're a really good friend, and I'll take care of Margaret for you. / Dave: You're right, THAT is no reason to worry at ALL!|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Saturday, April 3, 2004||[[Flashback: Mike and Blue on the couch]] / Mike: I keep thinking that something has been fundamentally changed... / Blue: Heh! I don't think you'll ever change, for better or for worse. / Mike: No, no. I don't think *I* have changed. It's more like something inside of me has been... cancelled. / [[Flashback: Mike confronts Satan]] / Satan: What? I'm only putting a little mark on your hand. It won't tickle, I promise. / Mike: Uuh... wait, wait a minute! / Satan: Think you'll talk me out of it? / Satan: Time for negotiations is OUT. / [[Mike wakes up]] / Mike: [[thinking]] *Huh!* / Mike: [[thinking]] What a... MESSED up dream. / [[Mike looks around. He's lying on an enormous ballast tank, labelled "B9-65". Pipes lead in all directions]] / Mike: [[thinking]] Ee-yikes! / Mike: [[thinking]] Not the best place to wake up at, either...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Sunday, April 4, 2004||[[Mike looks over the edge of his new home. Tanks and pipes are everywhere]] / Mike: [[thinking]] My clothes are dry. I must have slept for hours... / Mike: [[thinking]] No wonder I was so tired. I can't even see the ground. / Mike: [[thinking]] I don't like the way my mind jumps from one thing to another. / [[Mike looks up]] / Mike: [[thinking]] Never mind THAT. I can't see the roof. / Mike: [[thinking]] How did I manage to get so high? I must have been out of it. / Mike: [[thinking]] There you go again. Move your ass, Mike. The crazy hit the ground as hard as the sane. / [[Mike begins climbing]] / Mike: [[thinking]] Wonderful pipes. They DO help put things in PERSPECTIVE. / Mike: [[thinking]] When I'm done climbing all these pipes, I'm killing Damascus, going home, and telling Marsha she's a wonderful cook and that I had a stupidity attack.|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, April 5, 2004||[[Mike carefully walks along one pipe, holding another for balance]] / [[A sudden noise startles Mike, and he loses his grip]]
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Tuesday, April 6, 2004||Dr. Sydney: Why are you up? You're gonna die sooner, boyo. / Dave: I don't trust you. And I don't think I'm dying. I think you just said that as an excuse to get rid of Roger. / Dr. Sydney: Believe what you want. This hostage situation is gonna end very soon. / Dave: We have been hiding here for hours. Why would they find us now? Hmm? / Dr. Sydney: Because this minisub is not properly secured. I forgot to do it last time I used it. / Dr. Sydney: They will have to come down here to lock it in place before the island resurfaces. Which should happen any minute now. / Dave: Okaaaay. Most inventive excuse ever. And I bet you haven't even SEEN one of these vehicles from the inside. / Dr. Sydney: This is a research sub, kid. It's used to capture sea life and maintenance monitoring. And I'm a scientist, remember? / Dave: Hum. How long does it take to secure it? / Dr. Sydney: Just a second. If you know what you're doing. But you don't trust me, so... / Dave: All RIGHT. You have ten seconds. And if it's a trick, you're gonna need metal on ALL your other cheeks, too.|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, April 7, 2004||[[Dave sits in the minisub's hold]]
/ Dave: Three... four... five... six... / [[The panel separating the cabin from the hold slides shut]]
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, April 8, 2004||[[Dave peers out through a viewport]]
/ Dave: [[thinking]] What's this nut doing? We're submerged now!
/ Dave: [[thinking]] Some sort of water tunnel? I have to get out while I can! / [[A screen in the cabin shows Dave trying to open the hold's hatch]]
/ Dr. Sydney: [[off-panel]] Hahah! You fool! Of course it's locked!
/ Dr. Sydney: [[off-panel]] Don't worry, I'll open it once we get to the ocean! Too bad you will probably die anyway... / Dave: [[thinking]] How can he see me? If he's using a mirror, I can zap him... or is it a cam? And will this day never end?
|College Roomies from Hell!!!||[[Elsewhere in the complex, Roger, in werecoyote form, peers around a corner]] / Roger: [[thinking]] Well, there's the door. But maybe I should take a peek first. After all, who says it's not a trap? / Offscreen voice #1: I don't know, man, this situation is spiraling out of control. No one knows a thing, no one wants to move a finger... / Offscreen voice #2: You'll get used to it. / Roger: [[thinking]] ACK, someone's coming! RETREAT! / Offscreen voice #3: And then his sister says she knows a guy who can perform some amazing trick with his Wang, and you know that sounds dirty but it turns out it was the name of a chihuahua... / Roger: [[thinking]] That sounds like an interesting story, but I guess I'll have to try my luck with that door...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!!||[[Roger, in were-coyote form, slips through a door]] / [[Roger closes the door behind him. Something he can see bemuses him]] / [[A unicorn grazes in front of Roger]]|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, April 14, 2004||[[In the cabin of the minisub]] / Dr. Sydney: Well, you're here with me. Give me the card now. / Dave: Not so... FAST! Turn this thing around. We're not... hff, leaving without my friends! / Dr. Sydney: Look, we have to get out of here while they're distracted. Your friends are dead. / Dave: You're full of it. Besides, it's an ORDER. / [[Dave is slowly turning very pale and perspiring]] / Dr. Sydney: Or else WHAT? You're gonna faint on me? Face it, sonny, you're on your last legs. / Dave: Nnnnot. I'd see you... wriggling over the seat like this. I SAID... turn this thing around. / Dr. Sydney: I can't do that without the card, either. / Dave: [[faintly]] Full of it. / Dr. Sydney: I can't heaaar youuuu... / Dave: Ffff... / [[The minisub leaves Dundun Island's caverns and passes into the ocean]]|
|College Roomies from Hell!!!||[[Mike rubs his head. He's in water, floating on his back]] / Mike: [[thinking]] Uugh. Hit something on the way down... / [[Mike retraces his route with his eyes]] / Mike: [[thinking]] Wow, that was a LONG fall. And then I was out. Why didn't I drown? I should be dead shouldn't I? Are there sharks in here? / Mike: [[thinking]] And more importantly... / Mike: [[thinking]] Why do I feel a HAND on my butt?|
|College Roomies from Hell!!!||[[Mike is floating in water. Purple hair surfaces nearby]] / [[A female human head, crowned with purple hair, surfaces]] / Mike: Heh! I'm sorry, you startled me a bit. / Mike: So you were the one who helped me to stay afloat? / Mike: If that's the case, I guess I should... / [[She continues to rise, revealing some cleavage]] / Mike: ... TITHANK... / [[She flicks her tail above the surface. She's a mermaid]] / Mike: ...you?|
|College Roomies from Hell!!!||[[Mike is floating in water, a purple-haired mermaid hugs him around the shoulders]] / Mike: Hey, wait a minute! You're not gonna try to drown me, are you? Last time I met some mermaids... / [[A redheaded mermaid joins the scene.]] / Mike: Look, this is very nice and all, but I have stuff to do. / Mike: Really, I have to go. To kick some butt. And probably get killed. And all the cushiony hugs in the world ain't convincing me. / [[The second mermaid, and a third, green-haired mermaid, also hug Mike. Much of his urgency seems to depart]] / Mike: [[thinking]] Well, if there mermaids are the security around here, it's no wonder they don't need smarter guards...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!!||[[The mermaids leave]] / Mike: Hey, where are you going? Aw, it doesn't matter if you're half fish! We'll figure something out! / [[Mike realizes he is in the presence of a pink-haired mermaid]] / Mike: ... / [[The mermaid takes Mike by the tentacle]] / [[The mermaid leads Mike underwater]] / Mike: [[thinking]] ???!!!|
|College Roomies from Hell!!!||[[Underwater. The pink-haired mermaid, holding Mike's tentacle, points to glass wall ahead of them]] / Mike: [[thinking]] I hope she knows I can't breathe water! How do I...? Uh? Who is that? / [[View from inside the island. In the background, Mike and the pink-haired mermaid peer in through glass. In the foreground is a formally-dressed, mustachioed man smoking a cigar]] / Mike: [[thinking]] Is that...? / Mike: [[thinking]] No no no. It must be a mistake!|
|College Roomies from Hell!!!||[[Mike and the pink-haired mermaid float at the surface]]
/ Mike: *pant pant* That is... NOT Damascus, is he??? He looks so completely ORDINARY! He doesn't look like an evil boss at ALL! Where are the cloaks and the cyborg weapons and the titanium armor?
/ Mermaid: <
|College Roomies from Hell!!!||[[Back in Dundun Island, Roger, in werecoyote form, watches a unicorn]]
/ Roger: [[thinking]] Wow! Is that really a unicorn? COOL! I wonder if I can get a closer look? Maybe I can... / Roger: [[thinking]] Waaaait. This was supposed to be the infirmary. So either I got lost or this is a trap! Besides, I can't play tourist at a time like this! / [[Roger turns to leave, and slams his snout into the closed door]]
/ Roger: [[thinking]] Forget it, I'm out of hGOOPH!
|College Roomies from Hell!!!||[[Roger, in werecoyote form, explores the room in which he's locked]] / Roger: [[thinking]] Aw, the unicorn is gone! Well, I have to look for a way out anyway. Maybe if I follow it... / [[Roger pushes into bushes]] / Roger: [[thinking]] I smell a horsie... geez, we could use some weed killer around here. / Roger: [[thinking]] Or maybe the so-called Damascus likes realy BIG green salads. / [[Roger emerges from bushes. He spots, and is spotted by, two centaurs]] / Centaur Filly: Blood of the Goddess! What's THAT supposed to be? / Centaur Colt: I don't know. A Yellow Yeti?|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Saturday, April 24, 2004||[[Back in the open ocean, the minisub roams]] / Dave: Where...? / Dave: We're out in the open ocean? / Dave: I can't believe you had the guts to do it. I hope that you... / [[Dave notices his hands are tied together. Dr. Sydney pilots the minisub]] / Dave: Huh??? / Dr. Sydney: What? / Dave: You bound my hands! / Dr. Sydney: Heh. You're a slow one. / Dave: With SOCKS. / Dr. Sydney: Tough luck, kid. / Dave: I KNOW! Why doesn't something like this happen in a day when it doesn't hurt to LAUGH?|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Sunday, April 25, 2004||Dave: Okay, I'll bite. What was your REASONING behind tying me up? I thought you KNEW what I can do with my eyes. / Dr. Sydney: I know. But if you try, I'm gonna punch you in your midsection. In your state, you'll go out like a light. Then, I'll kill you. / Dave: If you don't care about killing me, why didn't you do it before? / Dr. Sydney: Insurance. If they catch us now, I'll say you escaped again and I captured you. / Dave: What makes you think I won't attack you? / Dr. Sydney: It'd be stupid. You don't know how to control the minisub. / [[Dave pilots the minisub. Dr. Sydney lies unconscious beside him]] / Dave: Unfortunately, I'm more afraid of what the Dragon and Blue would do to me if they found out I left Mike behind, than I will EVER be of you or your minisub.|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives||[[Back at the apartments...]]
/ Marsha: Hey April, wake up! We fell asleep.
/ Marsha: Geez, the sun's already setting, too...
/ April: MGRRGGHLN.
/ Marsha: C'mon, you said you wanted to get out of here... / [[April sits up. Her nose is still red]]
/ April: Man... I can't believe this happened. Now I'm going to have to move out in the middle of the night.
/ Marsha: You know, it wouldn't kill you to do it tomorrow.
/ April: Yes it WOULD. Now help me, or get our of my way. / Marsha: FINE. At least we're all fresh now. I don't mind working all night if necessary, how about you?
/ [[April collapses]]
|College Roomies from Hell!!!||[[April grimaces on the floor; Marsha tries to rouse her]] / Marsha: April! Hey April! This is not funny, dammit! / April: Ugh. Not feeling well. / Marsha: Do you have a fever? Do you want me to call a doctor? / April: Nnno. I... have to get up. I have to... / [[April gets up, her head spinning]] / April: Get out of here. Quick... / Marsha: Did the brain fairy pay you a visit? What the hell's wrong with you??? / April: Before Mike comes back. And kisses you. Happiness makes me puke. I... / [[Masha seizes April in a headlock and drags her away]] / Marsha: Yeah, RIGHT! Will you quit being so freaking STUPID??? I'm not gonna let you die out there on the streets, so you can guilt-trip me with it later! Off to bed with you, missy! / April: GAACK! Wait, you're crushing my martyrdom rights! And my tonsils!|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, April 28, 2004||[[Back in the minisub, in the open ocean, Dr. Sydney regains consciousness]] / Dr. Sydney: WHOA. Did anyone get the plate of the fridge that hit me? / Dr. Sydney: Well, no more Mr. Nice Mad Scientist. I... / [[Dr. Sydney notices Dave cheerfully munching on a snack bar]] / Dr. Sydney: Wait, you're eating my food! / Dave: Yep! And you win a no-prize for guessing! / Dr. Sydney: IDIOT! How are we gonna get to the shore now? / Dave: I'm shore we will find a bay! / Dr. Sydney: Did you find my painkillers, too? / Dave: It looked like candy, but it tasted like coffee! / Dr. Sydney: [[thinking]] Well, my horoscope said I would meet new friends in high places. / Dave: [[off-panel]] We all live in a spermosubmarine! Spermosubmarine! Spermosubmarine!|
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