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| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Sunday, October 19, 2003 | [[The girls are undergoing massage]]
/ Margaret: Well, this feels rrrreally good... HEY! What's with the camera???
/ Margaret's Masseur: It's for your own security, ma'am. It ensures there won't be any inappropriate behaviour...
/ April: [[thinking]] Not even a little bit of inappropriateness? AAAAW.
/ Marsha's Masseur: Gosh... are you okay? Do you want me to stop?
/ Marsha: Noheheheh goheheonhehe Heeheeehee heeheeHEE HEEHEEHEE heeeheeehee! http://crfh.net/d/20031019.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, October 20, 2003 | [[Mike is leaning over the edge of the liferaft, staring into the water and smiling vaguely]]
/ Mike: What? What did you say?
/ Mike: That's funny!
/ Mike: *snicker* / Dave: Is Mike brain-dead or what?
/ Roger: Dunno. Don't want to find out.
/ Dave: Do you think the lack of oxygen did actually damage his brain?
/ Mike: [[still talking to the water]] No, they are just my roomies. It's such a long, long story...
/ Roger: I hope not. We will need all the brains we have to get out of this one. / Dave: C'mon. Mike is smart, but what makes you think he'll find a way?
/ Roger: I'm not saying he's smarter than you or me, but when his butt is on the line, the man is almost a damn genius.
/ Dave: If he's so smart, why are we here in the first place? I say... / Mike: [[holding a fish in his tentacle]] Well, I'd love you to be my guest, but it's just not gonna happen.
/ Mike: No, it's like I'm telling you, man... you can't live out of the water! See? You start dying and stuff... http://crfh.net/d/20031020.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Tuesday, October 21, 2003 | Dave: Wait! Don't throw it back!
/ Mike: Why not?
/ Dave: Are you CRAZY? We can eat it!
/ Mike: We can't eat him... he's my friend!
/ Roger: Disregard my friend and his careless use of the "C" word. Still, you can't throw it back! / Mike: And what's YOUR reason?
/ Roger: Well, it would be pretty damn irresponsible. The ocean is pretty polluted and full of predators.
/ Mike: But if I don't, he's gonna die anyway.
/ Roger: Yeah, but at least his death would be noble and serve a purpose. Right? / Mike: Oh. Well, maybe you're right. I don't think he's gonna like it, tho'.
/ Roger: He's in a better place, Mike. A place without oil spillages.
/ Dave: [[licking his lips]] Mmmh. Gimme gimme! Don't worry, I'll give him a Viking funeral... http://crfh.net/d/20031021.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, October 22, 2003 | Narrator: meanwhile...
/ [[Chester awakens]]
/ < http://crfh.net/d/20031022.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, October 23, 2003 | [[Diana is up and dressed. Chester paws at her.]]
/ Diana: Where is Roger? Where are Dave and Mike?
/ Diana: They never came home to sleep...
/ Chester: < http://crfh.net/d/20031023.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, October 24, 2003 | [[Diana chats to Chester, who is washing himself]]
/ Diana: Well, last time they spent several days in an orgy, so I think it's better to keep you here. At least I can feed you... / Diana: Although you should look out for...
/ [[Paul enters and spots Chester]]
/ Paul: KITTY!!!
/ [[Chester freezes]] / [[Meanwhile, back on the open sea...]]
/ Dave: Have you ever had... the sudden feeling... that God is out to GET YOU?
/ Roger: Well, my girld dumped me and I'm stuck with the raftmates from Hell in the middle of the sea and... what was the question again???
/ Mike: [[wearing a wig made of kelp]] Brick brick brick, kelp wig, kelp wiiiig... http://crfh.net/d/20031024.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Saturday, October 25, 2003 | [[Roger retrieves a piece of flotsam]]
/ Roger: YESSS!! Plastic bag!
/ Dave: What's so good about it?
/ Roger: We can use it to turn sea water into fresh water!
/ Dave: Get OUT. Really?
/ Roger: Yeah. Do you think you can bring water to a boiling point? / Dave: I think so. I can try.
/ Roger: Excellent. Now we need to find two different-sized containers. We put one inside the other...
/ Mike: [[retrieving more flotsam]] COOOL!!! An old buoy!
/ Mike: This is the happiest day of my whole life!!! / [[Roger has handed the buoy to Dave, who uses his laser vision to cut the buoy into halves]]
/ Dave: You said to cut BELOW the red line, right?
/ Roger: Uh-huh. C'mon, Mike... It's, it's just a magic trick. We'll put it back together later, I promise.
/ Mike: [[his face buried in the tube of the liferaft]] I'm not talking to you, you MURDERERS. http://crfh.net/d/20031025.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Sunday, October 26, 2003 | [[The sun sets over our jolly life raft. Roger and Dave hold one conversation, Mike a distinct one]]
/ Dave: [[holding his head]] Uugh. I can't keep on doing this. My head is starting to throb.
/ Roger: Hey, that's okay. We have enough water for today.
/ Dave: Don't rhyme so much, it's annoying.
/ Mike: [[his head over the side]] A defiance, you say? Nah, it was never my intention.
/ Roger: Tell that to Shakespeare.
/ Mike: But I wasn't talking to him. / [[Mike is talking to an octopus. They touch tentacles. Mike pigments his interestingly]]
/ Mike: So it was because of the colors? I didn't notice. And I'm not the Annihilator... that was just an accident.
/ Mike: I'm sorry, I can't be your new King.
/ Mike: I just want to go home. / Dave: Blah. I should have stopped sooner. Now I feel like the world is spinning around me...
/ Roger: [[looking around]] I think it's not just you.
/ Mike: That was not an order, by the way... but thanks. http://crfh.net/d/20031026.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, October 27, 2003 | [[Dave and Roger check out what is happening in the water]]
/ Dave: Double-u-tee-eff??? There's a zillion octopuses under the raft! And they're moving it!
/ Roger: I think the word is "octopi".
/ Mike: Don't kill them! Please!
/ Roger: Let me guess. They're your friends?
/ Mike: YES! They're just trying to help!
/ Dave: Yeah, right! / Roger: Wait a minute, Dave. I don't think it's a good idea to blast them.
/ Dave: What? I don't want to be eaten by a bunch of octowhatever!
/ Roger: We don't know what they want, but do you really want to push Mike over the edge? I don't think this raft can take a rasslin' session.
/ Dave: Mmh. Point. / [[Mike hugs Roger, incidentally choking him with his tentacle]]
/ Mike: You're so NICE! Thank youuuuu...
/ Dave: Oh, so now Mike's the nut, Roger's the good one, and I'm the bad guy???
/ Roger: If you were any good you'd just KILL me... http://crfh.net/d/20031027.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Tuesday, October 28, 2003 | Paul: [[off-panel]] Ooooh Cheeeester? / Diana: Paul, stop trying to put bows on Chester!
/ Paul: [[off-panel]] Just one! He's so CUUUTE!
/ < http://crfh.net/d/20031028.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | [[Back on the life raft; Dave and Roger are staring at the stars]]
/ Dave: [[off-panel]] Wow.
/ Roger: [[off-panel]] I'd say.
/ Dave: [[off-panel]] I suppose it's just one of those things that are beautiful and sad at the same time.
/ Roger: [[off-panel]] Why sad?
/ Dave: [[off-panel]] I don't know. It makes me feel lonely. / Dave: So much empty space up there. And down here, we fight and kill each other over the stupidest things. We're all apart.
/ Mike: < http://crfh.net/d/20031029.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, October 30, 2003 | {{In realistic style}}
/ [[In woods]]
/ Margaret: All right, all right. Keep yourself busy. Gut and clean our breakfast, please.
/ Dave: Are you kidding? I failed biology in high school because I couldn't dissect an earthworm. I'd rather fish. / Dave: Do you realize I wouldn't do this for anybody else in this world?
/ Dave: Not my mother, not my father, not even GOD?
/ Margaret: I realize... and you know, Dave, if you can believe me, I will believe too. For you. / {{Normal style}}
/ [[On rubber raft]]
/ Dave: < http://crfh.net/d/20031030.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, October 31, 2003 | [[Roger, in werecoyote form, notices Dave, tears streaming down his cheeks, sitting alone at the end of the liferaft.]]
/ Roger: Um. Dave, are you okay?
/ Dave: *sniff* Sure.
/ Roger: Do you want to talk or something?
/ Dave: Nuh-Uh. / Roger: Are you sure?
/ Dave: I just want to be alone, Roger.
/ Roger: Eh. Right. I'll be over there, if you need anything.
/ Dave: 'kay. / Mike: HEY! What's with all the crying and stuff?
/ Roger: [[glaring at Mike]] At least SOME things haven't changed.
/ Dave: OhGODpleasenothimnotNOW... http://crfh.net/d/20031031.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Saturday, November 1, 2003 | Mike: Are you hurt?
/ Dave: No.
/ Mike: Are you sick?
/ Dave: No.
/ Roger: Mike, can we talk?
/ Mike: A sec! Is it because you don't have a car? You can borrow my convertible.
/ Dave: You just don't understand. Leave me alone.
/ Mike: Oh, I get it! It's because of Margaret, right?
/ Dave: Shut the f#@% UP, Mike. / Mike: [[hugging Dave]] Aw, poor Dave. It sucks, I know. It looks like you need a HUG.
/ Dave: [[struggling to escape]] Mike... if you don't get off me RIGHT this minute, I'm gonna have to KILL you!!!
/ Mike: You'd never hurt me, Dave. You're a good guy. We both know it. And if you need a hug, that's okay.
/ Dave: [[shouting]] NO! Let go of me, you IDIOT! GRGFH! GGGFFH... / [[Dave hugs Mike and cries on his shoulder]]
/ Dave: EIGHK... *SOB* http://crfh.net/d/20031101.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Sunday, November 2, 2003 | [[Meanwhile, back at the spa resort]]
/ Margaret: OWOW OW!
/ Attendant: If you can't take the exfoliant treatment, we could stop...
/ Margaret: NEVER!!! / Marsha: GAAAAH!
/ Attendant: What?
/ Marsha: Those are some REALLY hot stones!
/ Attendant: It's called Hot Stones Massage for a reason... / April: OOOUCH! Isn't the water pressure a little bit TOO DAMN HIGH?
/ < http://crfh.net/d/20031102.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, November 3, 2003 | [[Diana leans, bored, on the wall near the bathroom door]] / [[Diana knocks on that door]]
/ Diana: Hey, Paul! Let me in! I want to brush my teeth!
/ Paul: [[off-panel, inside the bathroom]] Just a sec!
/ Diana: But you're just using the hairdryer! / [[The bathroom door opens, revealing Paul. He holds a fluffed, be-ribboned (and distinctly unimpressed) Chester]]
/ Paul: TA-DAAAA! Fear the fluffiness!!! Isn't he a lot cuter?
/ Diana: I liked him better when he didn't look like he wanted to jump out the window.
/ Paul: Don't mind her, Chester! Wait till the other cats see you!
/ Diana: Speaking of Fluffy, I think I forgot to do something... http://crfh.net/d/20031103.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Tuesday, November 4, 2003 | [[Diana is in Roger's bedroom. She spots his pet rock Fluffy]]
/ Diana: There you are, Fluffy! I'll take you to my house.
/ Diana: When Roger gets back from his orgies, he'll be glad you were safe in a non-erosive environment. / [[Diana picks up Fluffy, sending a photograph (previously paperweighted by Fluffy) fluttering]]
/ Diana: [[thinking]] What's that, a pic? / [[Diana looks at the photo and is surprised]] http://crfh.net/d/20031104.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, November 5, 2003 | [[Back in the life raft. Dave has recovered; Roger has reverted]]
/ Dave: Well, that... was embarrassing.
/ Roger: EXTREMELY.
/ Dave: I'm sorry.
/ Roger: Don't apologize. I was not part of it, and Mike is back on octopicon.
/ Dave: I don't know what happened to me. I never thought I would... fall apart like that.
/ Roger: Eh, Mike was right. You probably needed it. / Dave: Funny that it hurts so bad NOW... it's been a while since it all happened. Now it's almost like it was a dream.
/ Roger: What?
/ Dave: Oh, you know. Back in that field.
/ Roger: I don't know who you told that story, but it was not me. So enlighten me. / Dave: I don't know. It's a long story. Do you really wanna hear it?
/ Roger: Sure, why not. If I was home it'd be time to watch the soaps anyway.
/ Dave: You watch soap operas???
/ Roger: No, I watch soaps. It's fun to put them in water and see them melt... http://crfh.net/d/20031105.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, November 7, 2003 | [[Diana, stunned but carrying Fluffy, returns home]]
/ Paul: Back so soon? What happened?
/ [[She hands him the photograph]]
/ Paul: What is that? / [[Paul looks at the photo and is smitten]]
/ Paul: ZzzzzzzOINKS! Who is THAT???
/ Diana: [[off-panel]] WHO ELSE??? Roger! / Paul: Aaaaw. I thought he looked familiar...
/ Diana: [[furious]] Why didn't he tell me he was into FURRIES?
/ Paul: Uh, maybe he thought you would overreact...
/ Diana: WHO'S OVERREACTING? http://crfh.net/d/20031107.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, November 10, 2003 | [[Back on the life raft...]]
/ Dave: You know what's the most depressing thing of all?
/ Roger: What, even MORE than everything you have told me?
/ Dave: The worst thing is, I can't even remember what it was like.
/ Dave: I remember the rain... and the deafening thunder... and the happiness so intense that I thought it'd kill me. But I can't remember HER. / Dave: I had a mild fever, and everything felt like a dream. It was MY dream. And it died so suddenly, I couldn't even mourn it. Until a while ago.
/ Roger: Uh-huh.
/ Dave: And I know that everything's over, but knowing is not the same as BELIEVING. It's still hard for me to accept it. / Roger: Sheesh, I don't believe this. How can you be so blind?
/ Dave: Uh? Why? What are you talking about?
/ Roger: Isn't it obvious? Dave, she LOVES you. http://crfh.net/d/20031110.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Tuesday, November 11, 2003 | Dave: What, she LOVES me??? How can you say that?
/ Roger: I mean, if you were in her situation, wouldn't you do anything to keep her safe? Even if it meant you had to give up on her? / Dave: NO! Uh...
/ Roger: So what is more important, your happiness or her life?
/ Dave: Her life, of course... but what about her happiness?
/ Roger: Well, didn't she get you and BLUE together? / [[Mike dumps a kelp wig on Dave]]
/ Roger: I'm sorry, but you know what they say about the truth.
/ Dave: Is the truth supposed to be THIS stinky and heavy?
/ Roger: Now you're being silly... That would be the TROUT.
/ Mike: Thank you!!! I'm here all week! http://crfh.net/d/20031111.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | [[Mike, Dave and Roger are in a life raft. Dave is holding the seaweed Mike just dumped on him.]]
/ Dave: What the heck's the matter with you, Mike. Can't you see I'm trying to THINK, here?
/ Mike: Sorry! I heard you rambling and thought the sun got to your head!
/ Dave: Worry about YOUR head, man! / Roger: All right, Dave. Just don't take it out onto Mike.
/ Dave: I'm sorry. I didn't want to snap, but he's getting on my nerves. I am pretty upset about this.
/ Roger: If I knew you were gonna get like that...
/ Dave: Hey, I'm angry, and why shouldn't I be? Our situation SUCKS. / [[Meanwhile, on dry land, the cats are getting restless.]]
/ < http://crfh.net/d/20031112.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, November 13, 2003 | Dave: [[removing his kelp wig]] What the heck's the matter with you, Mike? Can't you see I'm trying to THINK, here?
/ Mike: Sorry! I heard you rambling and thought the sun got to your head!
/ Dave: Worry about YOUR head, man! / Roger: All right, Dave, just don't take it out on Mike.
/ Dave: I'm sorry, I didn't want to snap, but he's getting on my nerves. I am pretty upset about this.
/ Roger: If I knew you were gonna get like that...
/ Dave: Hey, I'm angry, and why shouldn't I be? Our whole situation SUCKS. / [[Meanwhile, the fluffed, beribboned Chester confronts an alleyful of cats]]
/ < http://crfh.net/d/20031113.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, November 14, 2003 | Paul: [[still looking at the photo]] So why is it such a big deal?
/ Diana: It's not! So I can't understand why he couldn't just tell me!
/ Paul: I see so many people into weird things everyday... Unless... / Diana: Do you think April has a... kitten suit or something?
/ Paul: Nay, she's more the squirrel type.
/ Diana: I could look. I could use Roger's old key to get into her apartment. But that would be WRONG.
/ Paul: [[still enthralled by the photo]] Say, Di, if you dump Roger, can I make my move on him? / [[Diana glares at Paul]]
/ Paul: Well, *I* gave you ALL my hand-me-down dresses! http://crfh.net/d/20031114.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Tuesday, November 18, 2003 | [[The alley cats react with some hostility to Chester's attempt to start a trend in fluffy and beribboned]] / [[The alley cats chase Chester]] / [[Chester leaps from the top of a building into the garbage bins below]] http://crfh.net/d/20031118.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, November 19, 2003 | [[Chester, dazed, pulls himself from the trashcan]] / Paul: [[off-panel]] Cheeester! I got a little sweater for youuuu! / [[Chester flees]] http://crfh.net/d/20031119.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, November 20, 2003 | [[Diana searches April's room]]
/ Diana: [[thinking]] No squirrel/fox/bunny costume. Manga girl skirt, but I bet THAT one was to impress Mike. Not even fuzzy slippers. / Diana: [[thinking]] No kitty ears or paws in the drawers. / Diana: [[thinking]] A journal? But... this IS Roger's handwriting... http://crfh.net/d/20031120.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, November 21, 2003 | [[Back on the life raft]]
/ Roger: So, Mike, any news on how far we are from the coast?
/ Mike: Two turns, whatever that means.
/ Roger: Two days, maybe? Good! I don't know if I can stand a lot longer in the same raft with Optimus Whine.
/ Dave: [[off-panel]] I'm just TWO FEET AWAY, you know!!!
/ Roger: Yeah, couldn't help noticing. / [[Mike casually tosses more kelp and a fish over his shoulder]]
/ Mike: Aaw, these guys. Always making sacrifices and offerings. Here, use the kelp to cover yourself from the sun.
/ Roger: Kelp's all right, but another fish? And you're not upset about this one?
/ Mike: Nah, didn't know him personally.
/ Dave: [[off-panel]] I am STILL just TWO FEET AWAY!!! http://crfh.net/d/20031121.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, November 24, 2003 | [[Dave and Roger are strewn with kelp]]
/ Dave: Well, the sun is going down. I guess I don't need this anymore. I have enough reasons to be pissed off besides of looking like a fool.
/ Roger: You know what your problem is? You think you're the center of the freaking universe.
/ Dave: You mean I'm NOT??? I should have noticed the lack of gravity...
/ Roger: Why are you acting like you're some kind of victim? What about Margaret? Do you think it's not hard for her too? / Dave: Oh, I get it. You're taking her side because you're doing exactly the same thing to Diana! You're pretending to be noble, when in fact you guys just don't have the GUTS to fight for the person you love. Isn't that it?
/ Roger: Did you just... call me a coward, Dave?
/ Dave: I believe that I did in fact call you a cowardly spineless CHICKEN.
/ Roger: Just checking. Before I, you know, kill your ass. / [[Mike is talking to his marine friends]]
/ Mike: Hey! Where are you guys going? Aren't you gonna tell me what happened to Thea and the Naga?
/ Dave/Roger: [[off-panel]] AUGH!
/ < http://crfh.net/d/20031124.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Tuesday, November 25, 2003 | Dave: [[looking skyward]] Please tell me that was a whale burping, or something.
/ Mike: My friends say there's a storm coming, so they went to the depths.
/ Roger: STORM??? We're screwed! This raft is never gonna be able to resist a storm!
/ Mike: Aaw, so what? / Dave: So WHAT do you think? We're gonna die, you IDIOT!
/ Mike: Wha, wait a minute! We DIE? I thought we had at least two lives left!
/ Roger: My God, he hit the nonsense motherload and he ain't sharing. http://crfh.net/d/20031125.html |
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