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College Roomies from Hell!!! for Tuesday, June 10, 2003 Roger: What have you done??? You killed Fluffy, you CRAZY, psychotic woman! / April: Fluffy is not alive, Roger! It can't die! / [[Roger runs out of the building]] / Roger: [[thinking]] ihopeitlandedonsomethingsoft ihopeitlandedonsomethingsoft ihopeitlandedonsomethingsoft... / [[On the street, Mrs. Cerberus is pushing a shopping trolley -- on top of which rests Fluffy.]] / Mrs. Cerberus: That wouldn't happen to be your rock, would it, Mr. Pepitone? / Roger: GAAAAAAH!
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, June 11, 2003 Roger: I'll pay for the groceries, Mrs. Cerberus... now can I please please PLEASE have my rock back? / Mrs. Cerberus: NO! This rock looks familiar. / Roger: WHA? / Mrs. Cerberus: [[reading from a label on Fluffy's base]] "Property of the Staltworth Geological Museum." I KNEW it! / Roger: It's a... FAKE label! Just a joke! / Mrs. Cerberus: Nice try, Pepitone! I volunteer there during the weekends. This specimen will be back into its glass box! / Mrs. Cerberus: [[leaving]] Heheheh! Laugh at me now, boy. You and your friend with the slippery hands. / Roger: <<*twitch*>>
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, June 12, 2003 [[Roger is lying in bed, trying to sleep]] / Roger: [[thinking]] Damn, it's so hard to sleep without Fluffy! But I guess I'll have to keep on trying. I don't want to end up like Dave, muttering nonsense. / Roger: [[thinking]] One of these days, he'll accidentally summon Cthulhu. The odds say so. / Roger: [[thinking]] I guess I'll just have to ask Margaret for a little backup there... Security levels must be very high, with all those valuable rocks, and... / Roger: [[thinking]] Uh...? / [[April is snuggling into Roger's back]] / April: [[asleep]] Mmmmmhmmike... can I kiss your nose? Ummm yeah...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, June 13, 2003 Roger: Oh my GOD I think I'm gonna be SICK! / April: What? Uh... What am I doing here? / Roger: Sleepwalking and scarring me for life, that's what! / Roger: Thanks a LOT. Now I won't be sleeping in a year. / April: Geez. All right, I'll leave. It's not like I tried to murder you... / Roger: WORSE. Please turn on a light on your way out. / Roger: It's a freaky world out there, Pepe. / Roger: Hug me.
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Saturday, June 14, 2003 [[Mike wanders. Dave is lying in wait, his eyes glowing faintly]] / Mike: [[singing]] Dadada dum dum dum... / [[Dave springs from his hiding place and takes a huge swing at Mike, which Mike dodges]] / Dave: <> / Mike: WTF? Hey, what gives??? / Dave: Too bad. Now I'll have to zap you unconscious, then proceed to beat you within an inch of your life. / Mike: Did the crack fairy give you a visit or something? / Dave: I saw them myself, Mike. I saw the tentacle marks on her body. / Dave: Good-bye.
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Sunday, June 15, 2003 Dave: [[his eyes glowing ominously]] GRRdamn... / Mike: Okay, that's not gonna work, Dave... / Dave: It HAS to. I'm almost there... / Mike: I don't have all night! If you want to fight, let's get to it. / Mike: But to be honest, I'd prefer not to. They took off my cast today, and I'm still limping a bit. / Dave: Limping, SCHLIMPING! You have the nerve to play harmless, after what you did to Margaret? / Mike: Color me clueless. What did I do? / Dave: She didn't tell me! But she walked in naked and covered in tentacle marks and green slime! You don't have to be Newton to do the f$@%in' MATH! / Mike: THAT??? F-Y-I, she and Marsha were cleaning the kitchen and ran into a tentacle monster. / Dave: LIES!!! / Mike: Ask Marsha. If I'm lying, she'll kill me anyway, don't you think? / Dave: [[off-panel]] You're not off the hook. If you're lying, I'll get to you FIRST! / Mike: Yeah, yeah. Like Margaret needed YOU defending her honor anway...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[View of the city. Will, from Faans, is looking out over the CRFH town.]] / Will: I guess this is it. / Will: It's not like I imagined at all. / Will: I know, from her description, I expected fog, frost, flaming HAILSTONES... / Will: Instead it's WARM... / Will: Like her smile... / Will: Bright and sunny... / Will: Like her HAIR... / Will: Humid... / Will: Like the smell of the nape of her NECK... / Will: ...It's like time moves on a different schedule here. / [[Imagined image of April and Will together, comics piled around them.]] / Will: ... So maybe it'll feel like yesterday to HER, too. / {{Credits for storyline "The Cruelest Month"}} / [[Will and Rikk are standing outside a door.]] / Will: You look tenser than *I* do. / Rikk: If we run into Margaret again, it's going to be... interesting. She and I don't get on well, and what I'm here to talk about is such a sensitive topic... / Rikk: I haven't been so nervous about talking to a woman since I got married. / Rikk: You remember when you had to push me into socializing at parties? / Will: You've gained a lot of confidence since then, Rikk. / Rikk: I haven't exactly been dripping with it lately... / [[Margaret answers the door.]] / Rikk: Um--hi--hell--howzi--Yo yo, Margaret! / Will: [[rolling his eyes]] Just like old times. / Margaret: Why, if it isn't whatsyername and whatsyerface! Sorry, we already HAVE someone babbling incoherently around here.
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Roger eats Cheerios out of the box.]] / Roger: <> / April: [[off-panel]]ROGER!!! / Roger: [[spraying Cheerios everywhere]] <> / [[April gestures at the couch, which has yellow coyote hair shed all over it.]] / April: Imagine my delight to find that my couch has been REUPHOLSTERED with NEON-YELLOW MOHAIR. / Roger: How do you know it was ME? We're BOTH blonds! / April: SHORT hair. / Roger: It's all relative! And what about your bangs? THEY'RE short! / April: Start cleaning or I'll have you laminated. / [[April is cleaning a glass in the kitchen.]] / April: Mumble mumble spiroratstar Roger... / <> / [[There is a knock at the door.]] / <> / Roger: [[off-panel]] I got it! It's Diana! / Roger: [[off-panel]] WHOA! You're not Diana! Eeeeh... / [[April rolls her eyes.]] / Roger: [[off-panel]] This is not what it looks like! Actually, it IS what it looks like, which is nothing wrong! / <> / [[Roger frantically talking while Will scratches his head.]] / Roger: I mean, why would you think, just because we have the same hair color, that these hairs came from us rolling around on the couch? / Roger: I'm not her boyfriend! I just sleep with her! Ack, no, wait! I mean, we switch positions every night! Ack, no, wait! / [[Once again we see April in the kitchen]] / Will: [[off-panel]] Look, IS April here or not? / [[April smashes the glass she was drying]] / <>
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives April: ...Will. / Roger: Look, I know this looks bad, but I SWEAR! I have a GIRLFRIEND. / Will: ...April. / Roger: She's a ho, but still a pretty traditional girl. She wouldn't accept sharing me with anyone ELSE! Besides... / April: Roger? / April: Go away, please. / Roger: Yes, ma'am. / [[April kisses Will briefly.]] / April: <> / [[Roger lowers his glasses a little, looking behind him as he walks away.]] / Roger: [[thinking]] Uh-oh. / April: Sorry... sorry... / Will: Don't be. I just came to talk... but that was sweet. / April: But I shouldn't have... / Will: OH. I'm getting you in trouble, right? / April: No, no... / Will: Of course! I mean, someone like you... it's okay. Eh, I should have expected it. It's not Roger, is it? Just tell me it's not Roger... / April: Will, it's not that. No, I'm not with anyone else. Not in that way. / April: But still.. We Need To Talk. / [[Will looks alarmed]] / Will: [[thinking]] Great. Me = toast.
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, June 19, 2003 [[A horned Will, eyes leaping from their sockets, lusts after a haloed, divinely lit Jackie; a large, green Will hulks menacingly in the background]] / April: No. That's not how it happened. / Will: Which of us is TELLING this story? / April: You're a good guy, Will. The kind people can COUNT on. The kind that's hard to find. / April: You might have HAD dark feelings about her, but you didn't ACT on them. That's what counts. / [[Mike, crutch in background, sweeps April from her feet with a lingering kiss; Mike laughs at April, who examines her green hair as Marsha clubs her from behind; a tearstained April, spattered with brown goop, wanders off, her heart shattered]] / Will: ...Mike? MIKE? / April: [[tears rolling down her cheeks, hugging a cushion]] But... I guess I deserved a lot of it. / Will: Like FLARK you did! / Will: ...MIKE??? / Mike: [[off-panel]] Me what? / [[Mike enters and spots an enormous blond chap on Roger's sofa]] / Mike: Whoa, Roger, you really need to stop drink so much milk...
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, June 20, 2003 Will: [[stands to face Mike]] ...YOU! / Mike: [[recognizing him]] Oh, hey. Erixon, right? Been plugged to any machines lately? / Will: ... / Mike: How's Kath doing? / Will: ...YOU! / Mike: Uhhh... huh. / Will: ... YOU! / Mike: Well, don't worry, I'm sure you'll learn the rest of the vowels soon. / [[Will fumes quietly, building up a head of steam...]] / Mike: Hey, April, is Roger around? / April: **SNIFF** NO. / Mike: Aw... um. I'll be back later then. Are you crying? Why in the world, woman? / Mike: Your hair looks GREAT! Really, ask your boyfriend! / [[Will swings a sledgehammer-sized fist at Mike and knocks him flying]] / <> / [[Meanwhile, Rikk is trying to talk to a sleep-deprived Dave...]] / Rikk: Dave, are you all right? / Dave: Slpy. / Rikk: You need some cola? Coffee? / Dave: Mrgrt's drnk 't'll 'lrdy. / Rikk: Dave, I'm going to need you to use vowels other than "y". / Rikk: I need to speak with an expert on Evil. / Dave: Next... door. Here's just an expert'n... pointless suffer'ng... / Rikk: I don't mean Mike-evil. / Rikk: I mean / Rikk: capital / Rikk: "E" / Rikk: Evil / [[Dave is jolted awake]]
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Saturday, June 21, 2003 [[Will is beating Mike repeatedly against the ground]] / <> / Will: What's the matter, Mikey? Don't you have any clever PSYCH-outs to try or twisted HEADgames to play? / [[Pain.]] / Will: [[off-panel]] Why-- / <> / [[Pain.]] / Will: [[off-panel]] Won't-- / <> / [[Pain.]] / Will: [[off-panel]] You-- / <> / Will: [[screaming into Mike's bruised face]] SAY SOMETHING? / Mike: Nothing I can say. / Will: [[fist poised for the Final Crunch of Death]] You know what? / Will: Zarking right there isn't. / Mike: Been where you are. / Will: [[lowering his fist]] What? / Mike: Oh, you know how it is. We have it going, and man, it's not stopping for the world. It's like riding a big wave. You can't get off it. Actually a lot of fun... until the crash. / Will: FUN???!!! / Will: You... you make me SICK. / Mike: [[a little smile]] Nothing I can say will stop you. / [[Mike's POV: Will, with April standing in the background]] / Mike: [[off-panel]] And your fair lady there... she won't stop you, either. / Mike: [[off-panel]] After all, she wants me dead. But last time, she made the mistake of sending someone who loves me to finish me off. / Mike: [[off-panel]] She always was a quick study.
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Sunday, June 22, 2003 [[Meanwhile, Rikk talks to Dave...]] / Dave: Oh, my God... / Rikk: I saw six-six-six on her forehead as clearly as I see the circles under your EYES. / Rikk: I tried to warn her about it, but... / [[Flashback]] / Meighan: [[rolling her eyes]] Sure, Rikk. Like you're the first Christian who's told me I'm going to Hell. / Meighan: ... Look... I appreciate what you went through to rescue us. But ever since your breakdown, you've been seeing threats EVERYWHERE. Sorry. But I don't feel any more accursed than normal. / Rikk: I have Tim watching her right now. That's the best I can do. / Rikk: Agent Mist has been with the F.I.B. for years, and if he IS Satan... / Dave: Wait wait BACK UP. / [[Agent Mist, looking smug]] / Rikk: [[narrating]] They say the Devil has the power to assume a pleasing shape... and Alisin's told me Mist IS handsome, in a Trent Reznor kind of way. / Rikk: [[narrating]] Then she got flustered and apologetic, but that's kind of off-topic. / Rikk: I'm sorry you guys are... distant, by the way. But at least now you know what living with her is like. It's good to try these things out. / Dave: Can we get back to Satan? It's less depressing...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, June 23, 2003 Dave: Mist has been with the F.I.B. for years? This... this powerful government organization nobody knew about until LATELY? / Rikk: [[off-panel]] Yeah. / Dave: So why hasn't he taken over the world already? He wouldn't even BOTHER with Meighan... unless you guys had something he wanted. / Rikk: ..."Knowledge"... He said he wanted "KNOWLEDGE..." You... don't believe he IS Satan? / Dave: If he's NOT, then I'm not the guy you want to ask for advice. If he IS... / Dave: Don't believe anything he says. If he says right, go up. If he says up, stand STILL. He'll try to make you believe that the game is already over. / Dave: But it's not. You don't have to play HIS game. / Dave: Also... I don't believe for a minute that Margaret and I survived alone out there. / Dave: We had help. / Dave: Capital "H" Help. / [[Back in April's room, Will still has Mike pinned to the floor]] / Will: April? / Will: Tell me he's lying. / April: ... / April: He's not. / April: I've tried to get him killed before. And I'd *@$% do it AGAIN! / April: Maybe then... I can stop loving him. / Mike and Will: WHAT?
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Tuesday, June 24, 2003 Mike: Blue Jesus and crackers, and you people call ME twisted? / Will: Quiet, you! / [[Will releases Mike]] / Will: Do you STILL love him, April? I know nice girls go for bad guys, but GHOD... / April: What part of "tried to get him killed" was unclear, Will? / April: I'm NOT a nice girl anymore. / Mike: It certainly erases you off MY "nice" list... / [[Will winds up a haymaker on Mike, who desperately tries to shield himself with his tentacle]] / Will: LOOK what you DID to her! / Will: You may not have taken her VIRGINITY, you slime, but you took her INNOCENCE. / Will: I ought to-- to-- / Mike: [[standing up gingerly, clutching at his ribs]] / Mike: I don't understand. I don't understand anything. / Will: [[partially off-panel -- all we see of him are two enormous fists]] What's to understand? You RUIN everything you touch! / Mike: You LOVE me, April? I thought you hated my guts. This is insane. You guys are insane. / Will: Sure, play innocent now! / Mike: But if you love me, why are you trying to kill me? / April: Mike... / Mike: Oh wait, I don't want to know. I don't want to have ANYTHING to do with this. This never happened, and I'll forget what you said. / April: It's not gonna solve... / Mike: I don't CARE. It works for me. I never came here. I was mugged. That is what I'm gonna say, and I'll never admit to anything else. Just... stay away from me. / [[Mike tries to leave, but Will blocks the exit]] / Will: Where do you think YOU'RE going? / Mike: Let's just say I took the proper beating for kissing your girlfriend, and that we're even. / Mike: But don't be surprised if you're walking down the street one day and... / Mike: [[holding his tentacle in Will's face, and clenching it threateningly]] CRACK. / Mike: [[leaving, off-panel]] Actually, on second thought, be surprised. I plan to sneak up on you from behind. Just because I'm a bastard. / [[Will's teeth are gritted and his fists are clenched -- he tries to follow Mike]] / April: [[holding him back]] Will. Don't.
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, June 25, 2003 [[Back in Dave's apartment...]] / Rikk: Thanks, Dave. I mean it. / Dave: Sh're. / Rikk: You know, lately I've been feeling things that you say are typical for you... Worrying, being depressed and estranged, having dreams... / Dave: Yeah, dreams... did you know she sleeps naked? Three feet from me. They suffocate me. Everywhere. / Rikk: ... ih? / Dave: Sorry, g'wan. / Rikk: It's pretty obvious you're exhausted. And you still gave me some insight that might have saved my friends' lives. The fact that you can do that, even at your worst... that's... inspirational to me. You're stronger than you think, Dave. / [[Dave has collapsed face-down on the table]] / Dave: <> / Rikk: [[rolling eyes]] I'll let myself out. / [[In April's apartment, Will still wants to follow Mike, and is still being restrained by April]] / April: Promise me you won't go after him, Will. / Will: I'm not afraid of him. / April: Please. / Will: ... I promise. / Will: ... So you really wanted him dead? Because I... I wouldn't have... / April: *sigh* / April: He infuriates me. I wish he'd actually hurt me on purpose, you know? Instead of just... ignoring me... / Will: I understand, April... but I can't help you the way I wish I could. I'm just too unsteady right now... to steady you. / April: Likewise, Will. / April: All I can give you is a shoulder. / Will: That'll do. / [[They hug]] / Will: [[thinking]] ... Your shoulders are like rocks. / [[Will and Rikk meet up. A sign nearby reads "Campus Parking Only"]] / Will: How'd it go? / Rikk: BEAUTIFULLY! I didn't learn much... but I know where we START now! / Rikk: There's HOPE, Will! There's REALLY HOPE! / Rikk: How'd it go with you? / Will: ... There's no hope. / Will: Well, I think there's hope for ME. And there may even be a shred of hope for HER. / Will: Just not for "US". / Will: The flowers are DEAD, Rikk. / [[Parking lot, viewed from above]] / Will: The flowers are all dead. / {{April is the cruelest month, breeding / Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing / Memory and desire, stirring / Dull roots with spring rain... -- T.S. Eliot }}
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, June 26, 2003 [[Dave sleeps, slumped over on the table]] / Dave: <> / [[A black, horned beast grabs him and thrusts him against the wall]] / Satan: You don't want to stay out of my business, do you? You stupid kid. Then I'll finish what I started! / <> / Dave: [[thinking]] !!! / Satan: But first, tell me... do you think I'm sexy? / Dave: [[his eyes drawn down Satan's cleavage]] <> / [[Marsha's apartment; she has opened the door to Dave]] / Dave: Do you happen to have some coffee? We're all out of it. / Marsha: You DO look out of it. I think we do. / Dave: Thanks. Hopefully I'll never, ever fall asleep again.
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, June 27, 2003 [[Dave chats the Mike, who is lying, badly beaten up, on the sofa]] / Dave: Pfft! Well, look who's got his face redecorated! / Mike: Yeah, keep pushing it, you pocket-sized lighthouse. / Dave: No, really, what happened? / Mike: You know it better than me. You know EVERYTHING better than me. / Dave: Eh? I don't get it. / Mike: C'mon, Dave. I got my ass kicked for something I didn't do. I'm sure you can relate. / Dave: Me? What have I got to do with this? / Mike: You forgot? Not a surprise. Your brain must be a petrified fossil by now. Oh well. / [[Dave, puzzled, leaves, holding his coffee]] / Dave: [[thinking]] Why is he acting like it's my fault? / Dave: [[thinking]] I didn't do that... / Dave: [[thinking]] Or did I???
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, June 30, 2003 [[Dave, coffee pot under his arm, mulls over what he's just learned from Mike...]] / Dave: [[thinking]] But I don't remember beating up Mike! Of course, I don't remember NOT doing it, either. I asked Marsha if his story was true... / Dave: [[thinking]] Or was that a dream? / Dave: [[thinking]] I was SO angry! And I don't remember what happened after that. / Dave: [[thinking]] Maybe I did. / Dave: [[thinking]] I THINK I did. / Dave: [[thinking]] Man, I can't believe it. / Dave: [[thinking]] I *DID* kick Mike's ass. / Dave: [[thinking, grinning manically]] Heeheehee! COOOL!
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Tuesday, July 1, 2003 Dave's Angelic Conscience: STOP it! Stop that victory dance right NOW! / Dave: Aaaaaaw! But I didn't get to the part where I do the knuckle-kissing thing! / Dave's Angelic Conscience: What's the matter with you, Dave? Beating up people is NOT COOL! / Dave: Hey, I don't think Mike counts as people anyway... / Dave's Angelic Conscience: Mike's a bastard, but this time he didn't do anything... / Dave: So what? He did the same to me some time ago! / Dave's Angelic Conscience: But he apologized sincerely for it. And YOU feel GOOD about it. Who's worse? / Dave: Now I'm worse than Mike? Ok, there's a fine line between being preachy and insulting... / Dave's Angelic Conscience: Get some sleep, Dave. You're turning into a person I don't like. / Dave: What? Hey, now... / Dave's Angelic Conscience: I don't care. Enjoy the company. / Dave's Shadowy Anti-Conscience: Pssch! Let him go! Who needs him, anyway? Now, back to the knuckle-kissing...
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, July 2, 2003 Dave: Who are you? / Dave's Shadowy Anti-Conscience: Just another part of you! I just don't speak too often. / Dave: You're not... my shoulder devil, are you? / Dave's Shadowy Anti-Conscience: I'll tell you what I'm not... I'm not a prissy winged guy in a dress who judges you! / Dave's Shadowy Anti-Conscience: Haven't you had enough crap flung at you? It's time to fling some back! / Dave's Shadowy Anti-Conscience: What's so wrong with a little justice anyway? The world isn't giving us anything... so we take it! / Dave: Hell, yeah! / Dave's Shadowy Anti-Conscience: And if you ask ME, you were too nice. / Dave: Definitely. / Dave's Shadowy Anti-Conscience: Maybe next time you can put him in a wheelchair! / Dave: ... / Dave's Shadowy Anti-Conscience: Or maybe a coma? Nah, he wouldn't suffer enough. / Dave: [[gesturing vaguely over his shoulder]] Uh, I gotta... you know. Something...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, July 3, 2003 [[Roger encounters Diana at the bus stop]] / Roger: How long until the bus arrives? / Diana: Not long, why? / Roger: Mmh. It's April. She's become... scary lately. / Diana: You can crash at my place if you want. / Roger: It's not that. I'm worried. She's like this combination of crazy sad scary person. / Diana: Well, how are YOU gonna help? / Roger: I dunno. I just want to be there. Just in case. / Diana: Oh. What are we doing tomorrow? / Roger: I have to study for a test. / Diana: Get out! You NEVER study. Are you hiding something? / Roger: Something??? I'm hiding EVERYTHING.
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, July 4, 2003 [[Roger returns to his apartment, where April is brushing down the couch]] / Roger: Is the friendly Mountain gone, or am I interrupting something? / April: He left. / Roger: Good. Why are you brushing the couch? I was gonna do that... / April: That's all right, I already started. / Roger: Oh. Have you been crying? Your voice sounds odd. / April: No. / Roger: Saay. Mmh, how do I say this? I need to ask an itty bitty subatomic nanofavor from you. Really small. / April: I'd say your chances that I say yes are about the same size. / Roger: Not a good time, huh? What if I come back again in 10 minutes? I can be patient... / April: Try ten eons.
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Saturday, July 5, 2003 Roger: C'mon! All I need is a getaway driver! We have a radio, so if we get caught, you just drive away... / April: No. / Roger: But Obi-Wan, you're my only hope! Dave is incoherent, someone tenderized Mike, and Marsha can't drive! / April: I said no. / Roger: {[turning away, hands in pockets; sotto voce]] Wow, what a bitch... / April: WHAT did you SAY??? / Roger: [[whirling back, hackles rising]] I said you're a BITCH! You don't care about your friends! You don't care about ANYBODY! / Roger: How do you expect Mike to like you, when you're such a mean, angry person? / Roger: That's why you are alone, and that's why you'll always be alone! / [[Roger storms out, leaving April nonplussed]] / <> / April: <<*blink*>>
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Sunday, July 6, 2003 Margaret: Wow, what happened to Mike? / Dave: Mh. Why should I know? Whoever did that to him deserves a MEDAL! / Margaret: You mean someone beat him up??? I thought he had an accident, or fell down some stairs... / Dave: Well, I don't know. Would you be uh, impressed if someone had? / Margaret: Maybe. Mike seems really hard to beat, because he's tricky, and because of the tentacle. But if it was someone he knew, he could have been caught with his guard down. / Dave: Oh. So? I bet he deserved it anyway! It's Mike! / Margaret: That's hardly the point. / Margaret: ANYWAY. Unless he asks me for help to retaliate, I guess it's not my problem. / Dave: Nnnot mmine either. / Margaret: [[eyeing Dave suspiciously, thinking]] Could it be that...? NAAAAH. / Dave: [[eyeing Margaret worriedly, thinking]] Ooh boy.
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, July 7, 2003 [[April visits Mike]] / Mike: Didn't I tell you to stay away from me? / April: Mike, we need to talk. / Mike: Fat chance. I'm not talking to you. / April: Fine, then I'll speak and you'll listen. / [[April talks, completely filling the frame. Mike noisily sucks a drink through a straw, obscuring April's words]] / Mike: <> / April: I know you're mad at me, and you're right. But in my defense, I thought you knew about my feelings, and you were just being cruel. That's why I was so angry. I was also angry because you never stop to think for a minute about you actions and how they affect other people. And I know that an apology will sound fake now that I my but really for what did for what I was trying to do, don't know pened t
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Tuesday, July 8, 2003 April: Look, what I'm saying is, I can't run away from this anymore. I've done it for so long, and look at the results. / April: Why do you want to pretend nothing happened? / April: Mike? / [[Mike sulks]] / April: You won't speak to me? Fine. Let's see how long you can keep doing that. / April: Let's just SEE. / [[Mike glares at her]] / April: Laters. / [[April has left. Roger pokes his head in.]] / Roger: I never thought I'd be saying this, Mike, but you're NOT the worst roommate I've ever had. / Mike: Yeah, I think I have a newfound respect for you. How come you still have all your limbs? / Roger: Because I'm the fastest roommate she's ever had.
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, July 9, 2003 [[Roger checks to the left]] / [[Roger checks to the right]] / [[Roger addresses a rock inside a glass case]] / Roger: Don't worry, Fluffy. I'm getting you out of here real soon. / Roger: Tonight's the big break out, buddy. In the meantime, I have something which will make your hard prison life a little better. / [[Mrs. Cerberus, holding a package of cigarettes, confronts a security guard]] / Mrs. Cerberus: Tsk tsk, Earl. You left a cigarette pack on one of the display cases. / Earl: What? No! I don't like that brand! / Mrs. Cerberus: Seems that you LIKE being spanked. / Earl: And it seems like you LOVE givin' em!
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, July 10, 2003 [[Roger, a bag under one arm, prepares to leave]] / Roger: Off to rescue Fluffy. Enjoy your evening. / April: Hum. Roger, I changed my mind about the getaway driver thing. If you still need me... / Roger: No, thanks. You'd probably sabotage the operation or turn us in or something. / April: Roger, this hasn't been a good week for me. I'm sorry. I want to help you get Fluffy back... after all, it's my fault it was returned to the museum. / Roger: Really? Why the sudden change of mind? / April: Let's just say I made too many enemies this week, and I might need allies real soon. / [[Roger and April leave]] / Roger: Well, in that case, we're gonna need a codename for you! But I warn you, "Yellow Dog" and "Brutal Brunette" are taken! / April: [[rolling her eyes]] How about "Cruelest Month"? / Roger: Fits all right!
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, July 11, 2003 [[All is dark. Margaret and Roger crouch, dressed in ninja outfits]] / Margaret: Roger, this is the last time I help you with an infiltration. / Roger: Yeah, I know. I appreciate that you put yourself in danger... / Margaret: Danger??? It's the freakin' GEOLOGY MUSEUM! Really, I should have stayed home and sniffed my socks for thrills. / Roger: For a real thrill, try sniffing Mike's.
 

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