You're browsing the archives of College Roomies From Hell.
You can search these comics too.
show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, August 8, 2002||[[Margaret's gun is still in Mike's face]]
/ Margaret: I can't believe I've been so BLIND about you...
/ Mike: Well, well. If it isn't Bride of the Devil, pointing a gun at innocent people...
/ Margaret: INNOCENT?
/ Margaret: PEOPLE???
/ Margaret: You're not even HUMAN, Mike.
/ Margaret: Goodbye. / [[Just as she presses the trigger on her shiny futuristic huge gun, a blue laserbolt knocks her flat; her gun disgorges an orange flame harmlessly over Mike's head]]
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, August 9, 2002||[[Dave cradles Margaret, who he has just blasted with his laser vision]] / Dave: I'm sorry, Margaret. Baby, I'm so sorry... / Marsha: Mike, are you okay? / Mike: Yeah, Marsh... but Dave... / Mike: What in the name of Cthulhu did you have to go and do THAT for? / Dave: She was going to kill you... / Mike: I was going to TALK her out of it! / Dave: No, you were not. The tone of her voice... the look in her eyes... been on the receiving end too many times... / Mike: But you killed our best fighter, you fool! / [[Dave stands, still cradling Margaret]] / Dave: [[weeping]] She's NOT DEAD! Don't SAY THAT! / Mike: Listen, man, you have to stop going laser-happy on everybody. I know you did it to save my life, but... / Dave: [[shouting]] Who cares about you, you stupid idiot??? I did it for her! / Dave: She thinks she's going to Hell anyway, but I have been there! / Dave: No matter what, I will not allow that to happen!|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Saturday, August 10, 2002||[[Dave cradles Margaret, who he has just shot with his laser-vision]]
/ Mike: Well, if it makes you feel better about it, blame me for this, too... but pull yourself together. The battle's not over yet.
/ Dave: It's over for US. I won't leave her alone for your stupid quest. YOU go, and get killed or something.
/ Mike: And a Merry Christmas to you, too, Dave.
/ Dave: BITE me. / [[Mike leaves]]
/ Mike: [[off-panel]] That's all right, I guess. Everybody has to take a side, sooner or later...
/ Mike: [[off-panel]] It seems to me that she has chosen already, and that you'll follow her no matter what. Good luck.
/ Mike: [[off-panel]] But remember... it's not my stupid quest.
/ [[Chester follows Mike, snarling at Dave]]
/ Chester: <
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Sunday, August 11, 2002||[[The group, sans Dave and Margaret, troop into the building]]
/ April: [[looking back]] Eep. This is bad. Do you think they'll be all right?
/ Marsha: I certainly hope Margaret will be all right, so that I can throttle her for being a psycho &@#*.
/ Mike: [[off-panel, leading]] Hey... hold it. / [[The roomies gather at a doorway, peering in]]
/ Mike: Who are they? And why are they dressed funky?
/ Marsha: I dunno. Maybe they escaped from a comic convention.
/ Roger: *Sniff*. Brimstone. They're Waldo and Steve.
/ April: According to Chester, they're lunch.
/ Chester: [[licking his chops]] <
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, August 12, 2002||[[Chester charges into the room]]
/ Chester: <
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Tuesday, August 13, 2002||April: ACK! CHESTER! / Mike: [[his tentacle barring her way]] Wait! It's too dangerous! / Marsha: What the HELL was THAT??? / Mike: I have... NO idea. / Mike: I didn't expect this. I can't imagine how they did that... / April: If Dave was here, he'd take them down... / Roger: We can't count on him now. / Marsha: Why don't we shoot them? They REALLY deserve it this time! / Mike: Maybe we're gonna have to do that after all. But that's just more real life consequences we'll have to deal with afterwards. / April: You know what? I'm getting tired of this. Gimme the damn bombs. I'm going through. / Mike: April, don't be ridiculous. You can't dodge those balls of whatever. / April: I'm saying I CAN.|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, August 14, 2002||[[Steve's hands frame a large plasma ball as he confronts the Roomies]] / Steve: Hey, morons. You're looking good. Did you lose a bet or something? / Mike: Well, you look kind of respectable. Like a NUN. / Steve: Heheheh! It'll be my pleasure to zap your spandex-covered butts into next year. But first... I gotta thank you. / Mike: Huh? / Steve: For the Devil's Avocado, Squidbrains! / Steve: As you can see, it WORKED! / Mike: Marsha! Remember I borrowed an avocado from your fridge once? Where did you get it? / Marsha: Well, "Curses, Spells and Second-hand Electric Devices" merged with "Food and Poison, Inconveniently Mixed"... / Waldo: [[off-panel]] The Ritual didn't work, but see, there was this fork on the floor, and then Steve... / Steve: [[off-panel]] Shut the hell up, Waldo.|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, August 15, 2002||[[Steve and Waldo support an enormous plasma ball between them]]
/ Steve: I suggest you leave while you can. You will NOT get into the Unholy Temple. Not while we're guarding it.
/ Steve: Our focused energy is already strong enough to take you all down at once.
/ Steve: Have a nice Apocalypse, idiots. / Marsha: WHOOPS! Dropped my gun...
/ [[Marsha bends over to pick up her 'dropped' gun, and the unexpected view distracts Steve]]
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, August 16, 2002||[[The released plasma ball is hurled toward April, who dodges backward out of its path]]
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Saturday, August 17, 2002||[[Waldo hurls another plasma ball toward April, who is off-panel]]
/ Steve: [[off-panel]] Stop her, Waldo!
/ Waldo: I'm trying! But the $&@# just won't stand still!
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives||[[Dave is still clasping Margaret]] / Dave: Did you hear that? I don't know what's happening in there, but it can't be any good. / Dave: And I'm very worried about Chester. I'm not feeling anything on his end. First something awful, then nothing. / Dave: Wake up, please. I didn't hit you that hard, did I? You should...you should... / Dave: What kind of idiot am I? Who am I kidding? I don't know how hard to hit, nor if it's dangerous for some people. / Dave: Wake up and tell me that you forgive me. / Dave: I know I never will. / Dave: I don't want to leave you, but I have to find out what happened to Chester. I'll be back as soon as possible. You'll be safe in here. / Dave: Please...be okay. / Dave: And try not to hate me too much.|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, August 19, 2002||[[Steve grapples with Mike's tentacle. Between his hands appears an ominous blue glow]]
/ Steve: Now you're gonna see...
/ Mike: But if you blast me while I'm touching you, wouldn't you be blasted as well?
/ Steve: Ain't gonna happen.
/ Mike: Tsk tsk. You're not even sure, are you? I guess avocados don't come with instruct- / [[Steve releases the plasma ball, which envelops them both]]
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Tuesday, August 20, 2002||April: YOW! Ouch ouch ouch ouch OUCH! / Marsha: [[off-panel]] Wait! / Marsha: Did you get hit? / April: No, that's just my stupid calf. / Marsha: I mean, your hair's smoking. / April: I know. Someone is gonna get a kick in the balls when this is over.|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, August 21, 2002||[[Steve and Mike are still immobile from Steve's plasma ball]]
/ Steve: [[his hand glowing a dangerous blue]] It's too bad for you I can still move my arms... / Mike: So can I.
/ [[Mike wraps his tentacle around Steve's wrist and twists]]
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, August 22, 2002||[[Steve fires a plasma ball from his remaining good hand into Mike from point-blank range]]
/ Steve: GRRR... DIE... you...
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, August 23, 2002||[[Steve's hair is blasted by a laserbolt from off-panel]]
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Saturday, August 24, 2002||Mike: Sorry about your cat, man. / Dave: He's not dead, Mike. You were right. Somehow we can perceive things at another level. / Dave: I can tell that he WAS dying, until I touched him. He looks smaller now... but I think he's gonna live. / Dave: If I can keep him alive until his body recovers. / Mike: Why did you let him go? April and Marsha are inside. You have to stop him before he hurts them. / Dave: I'm sorry, Mike. / Mike: WHAT??? / Dave: I can't go. I have to stay with Margaret, and if I get hurt Chester could die. / Mike: Dave, if it were Margaret inside, *I* would get her out. / Dave: I know. But Margaret's not inside, and I have to worry about her. / Mike: You know? I think I can feel my legs now. Could you place your ass closer so I can kick it?|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Sunday, August 25, 2002||[[Mike staggers toward Roger, who is lying still, still in his red wig]] / Mike: Hey, what happened? / Roger: Steve was spontaneously combusting. I got distracted, so Waldo blasted me. / Mike: Oh, GREAT. C'mon, get up. We gotta stop them. / Roger: I can't. If I move, I'll go werecoyote. I need every bit of physical concentration. / Mike: How come you're sitting on the floor? I thought you never did that because you were afraid of dimensional holes swallowing you into the unknown and being forced to listen the "Twilight Zone" theme for all eternity. / [[Roger is in werecoyote form -- with red hair, matching his wig. Mike limps, leaning on him]] / Mike: Heheh. Do you remember when I told you there was a leprechaun in your cereal box and you jumped out of the window? / Roger: Hey, it COULD happen. And do you HAVE to lean on me? Use the wall. / Mike: Yeah, but you're fluffier, and the wall can't listen to amusing phobia stories. / Roger: Lucky, lucky wall.|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, August 26, 2002||Mike: [[thinking]] Mmh. Robots running for their lives. Marsha's well and doing her part. But where the hell are those two? / Voice: [[off-panel, downward]] HELP! / Mike: [[looking down]] Who is there?? It's too dark to see. / Voice: [[off-panel, down]] Waldo. I fell down the elevator shaft! / Mike: Damn you. Well, I have to get you out before we blow up the building. / Mike: How far did you fall? / [[Steve plasma-balls Mike from behind, knocking him into the shaft]] / Steve: All the way down to Hell, you bastard.|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Tuesday, August 27, 2002||April: What was that? / Roger: [[in werecoyote form]] It sounded like Mike. / April: Well, go help him! / Roger: He told me to stay with you girls. / April: We can take care of ourselves! Marsha has a gun... / Roger: He won't care. If I go, he'll yell at me for leaving you alone. / April: So what if he yells at you? He will anyway! / Roger: Oh, all right. You have a point, and so do I. We'll decide this with a POUTING contest. / April: Roger, I'm serious! Will you grow up??? / Roger: Twenty points for you. And do you think I can get any bigger???|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, August 28, 2002||[[The bottom of the lift shaft. Pain surrounds Mike's head and leg.]] / Mike: WAUUUUGGHHN! / Mike: Son of a... really BAD landing! / Mike: [[thinking, looking at his leg]] Man, that's gotta be broken, to hurt like that! / Mike: [[thinking]] I can't believe I fell for such a stupid trick... / [[Satan appears, crouched in the darkness, carrying a glowing red staff]] / Satan: Heehee! And, do you remember when I made you believe Dave was abusing Blue and you almost killed him? Now THAT was a good one...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, August 29, 2002||Mike: HHhhh... igh... ooh, oh my GOD, I'm... I died. / Satan: Ssss. Off to a good start, I see. / Mike: It wasn't that bad of a fall! It can't be! I demand a RECOUNT! / Satan: Believe me, if you WERE dead, you'd be in a lot more pain. / Mike: What do you want? Are you going to take my soul too? / Satan: Pfft. That piece of crap? Naaah. / Mike: Oh! I feel flattered, really. So WHY are you here, then? / Satan: To point and laugh! What else? Hahahah! / Satan: Gotta love you guys, running around in tight clothes, thinking you can stop the unstoppable! / Satan: The blind leading the blind, and then falling into a ditch! / Mike: You won't be so JOLLY when we blow this place into an infinite number of pieces. / Satan: With you still inside? Heh! / Mike: As soon as I can move... / Satan: What are you gonna do, fly out of here? / Mike: My friends are going to... / Satan: Oh! Please do! Draw them closer, and then I can add their tasty souls to my damnation stew. *Sslurp* / Satan: You're a smart kid, Mike. You know you're royally screwed. / Satan: Either way, I win. But I could make things easier for you. Only because I like your style. / Satan: What do you say? / Satan: Will you show some common sense, or will you pay the price for being stubborn as always?|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, August 30, 2002||Mike: Pfft! Hehehehe!
/ Satan: What, have I something stuck in my teeth?
/ Mike: No offense, but you sound like my mom. I never listen to her either, and *she* is pretty. Heheheh...
/ Satan: Mmh. I see. Yeah, I really thought you wouldn't go for it. But hey, blame me for trying. / [[Satan takes Mike's hand and takes his glove off]]
/ Satan: Aaaanyway. Back to the fun.
/ Mike: HEY! What are you doing?
/ Satan: What? I'm only putting a little mark on your hand. It won't tickle, I promise.
/ Mike: Uuh... wait, wait a minute!
/ Satan: Think you'll talk me out of it? Time for negotiations is OUT. And I can't let you run around unbranded like a regular Maverick! / [[Satan begins etching a brand into MIke's palm. It's obviously excruciating.]]
/ Mike: <
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Saturday, August 31, 2002||[[Roger is in werecoyote form]] / April: Oh my GOD. Roger, I don't know what's happening to Mike, but we have to stop it. / Roger: I'm not even sure that's Mike. I have never heard him scream like that before. / April: Why are we even discussing this??? He needs our help! / Roger: We're about to finish. Just five minutes... / April: He could be DEAD in five minutes! Oh, screw this... / [[Roger grabs April's arm, holding her back]] / Roger: April, wait. I can't go with you and leave Marsha alone, you know? / April: So STAY. / Roger: You know why he's in trouble? I told him that it was a very bad idea to split apart, but he didn't listen to me. / April: Your point? / Roger: And now YOU are doing the same! / April: Stop patronizing me, Roger! / Roger: Don't you realize it's dangerous? / April: Is there anything we do that isn't?|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Sunday, September 1, 2002||[[Dave checks the ship he previously hid Margaret in. It's empty]]
/ Dave: What? She's GONE! / Dave: [[thinking]] Where IS she? Did she get inside while I was not looking?
/ Dave: [[thinking]] And now that she woke up alone, she's gonna be... / [[Margaret cocks her shiny futuristic huge weapon, which is about two inches from Dave's skull.]]
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, September 2, 2002||[[Margaret's gun barrel is almost jammed into the back of Dave's head. Dave holds Chester (who's back to normal size). Margaret is seriously miffed. Dave is resigned to his fate.]]
/ Dave: <<*GULP*>> / [[Dave watches, wide-eyed, as Margaret pushes him aside and stalks into the building, head lowered.]]
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Tuesday, September 3, 2002||[[April seeks Mike, unaware she is under surveillance]] / Waldo: [[off-panel]] (There she is!) / Steve: [[off-panel]] (Ssshhh.) / Waldo: (What? Man, I can shoot her from here!) / Steve: (No, we can't.) / Waldo: (Uh? Why the hell not?) / Steve: (Boss has plans for her... but we can get the others instead.)|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, September 4, 2002||[[At the bottom of the elevator shaft]]
/ April: [[off-panel]] Mike? Is that you in there?
/ [[Satan licks his lips]]
/ Mike: Ooh no, you WON'T.
/ Mike: April, no matter what, don't open the door!
/ April: [[off-panel]] Why not? Are you hurt?
/ Mike: Go away! I'm... / [[Satan squeezes Mike's (broken?) leg]]
/ Satan: <
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, September 5, 2002||[[Roger, in werecoyote form, watches Marsha's back as she picks off robots]] / Marsha: Well, I ran out of bullets, but I think we're done here! / Roger: Yeah, but we still... *sniff sniff*... damn. / Roger: Smells like... evil teen spirit... / [[In a wider frame, we see that Steve and Waldo surround Marsha and Roger. Waldo holds a beach-ball sized plasma ball. Steve is casually tossing a softball-sized plasma ball in his right hand.]] / Steve: Hey, look, Waldo. Someone left the kennel door open! / Roger: Eh... stay behind me, Marsha. / Marsha: I don't see how THAT is supposed to help. / Waldo: Heheheh... / Roger: It doesn't help, but I just don't want their balls zapping by butt. / Marsha: Well, when you put it like THAT...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, September 6, 2002||[[Meanwhile, back in the elevator shaft, Mike wrestles with Satan (literally).]] / April: [[off-panel]] What did you just call me??? / Mike: ENGH! You heard me! And double THAT! / Mike: MPHH! I HATE you all! You're idiots! There, now go do what I say before I get REALLY mad! / April: Mike... I'm not that easy to manipulate, c'mon. I know you're trying to make me hate you, but it ain't gonna happen. / April: I mean, you're a jerk, we all know that. But even if, if we can never, well, you know... because Marsha would never forgive us... I can't let you die like this. / Mike: Say... WHAT??? / Satan: AH-HAAH!|
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60
61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80
81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 >>