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[[Street]] / Dave: Hey Reggie! / Mike: How're you doing, Reggue? You remember Marsha, right? And these are her friends... / Marsha: Hi, Reggieeee! / Reggie: Ooooooh! Hi, Marsha and friends! / Reggie: Hey hey, where do YOU think you're going? / Dave: But I come with them! / Reggie: Yeah, but it's LADIES night. You'll have to pay and stand in line like everybody else. / Dave: Isn't that a sexist discrimination policy? / Mike: And heeere comes the hard part. / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[Street]] / Mike: Now Reggie, I know it's against the rules, but you HAVE to let this guy in. He does a really nifty trick with a coin... / Dave: WHAT? / Dave: This is ridiculous! Why do I have to make a fool of myself to get into a stupid club? I'm not doing it. / Mike: Dave, I admire you. You let your principles get in your way to success. So you stay out here and dance with your dignity, I bet Margaret will find a suitable dance partner... / Dave: *sigh* / Mike: *flip* / Dave: zap! / Coin: DING! / Mike: Heh! / Reggie: COOL! / Dave: Margaret better dance with me after this, Mike. / Reggie: And where do YOU think you're... / Mike: Ol' Uncle Mike said he'd get you in, and you're in. I don't know about the rest. / Roger: Eye in hand and funky ninja moves! / Reggie: Okay, go right in... / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[The Music Cave]] / Margaret: Heh! The music is so loud that I can feel the beat in my spleen! / April: Yeah, it's so loud I can't even hear what I'm thinking! Great, huh? / Marsha: So he did the trick? Damn, I should know better than making bets with you... / Mike: To be honest, I didn't manage to get him to do it standing on his head. / Dave: What am I doing here??? I don't even know how to dance! I should be studying! I... WHOA. / Bimbo: That guy with the tentacle... he looks familiar. / Roger: RALPH! Hey, Ralph, remember me from FurryCon? / Ralph: Walk faster, Bimbo. / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[The Music Cave]] / Dave: Eermh... say, Margaret, would you... if you don't have anything better to do... and if you're not too tired, I thought, maybe we, oh heck, like I haven't practiced this line every day of my life... / Dave Would you d-d-...? / Margaret: Dance? / Dave: Yeah! / Margaret: It depends. Are you a really good dancer? Are you one of those guys who have really funky moves and follow the rhythm? / Dave: *Gulp* Mmh no, I can barely move without tripping over my own feet. Uh, I understand... / Margaret: Good. I hate dancing with showoffs. / Margaret: Geez. You looked like you were gonna faint. / Dave: Did you really have to torture me like that? / Margaret: Of course. It's just too darn fun! / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[The Music Cave]] / Dave: She's dancing with me! This means *something*! / Margaret: Dance dance dance! Gotta reach that fake 200% of increased brain efficiency! / Marsha: Woo! Oh God, how I needed this! I feel like I've been locked up in that stupid apartment for ages! / Mike: Yeah... maybe now that we're no longer held in captivity, we can mate... / Marsha: Uh? / Mike: Noooothing.... / April: Roger... I don't think you can tap-dance to techno music... / Roger: Nonsense! You can tap-dance to anything if you have the proper shoes! / April: But you're wearing SNEAKERS! / Roger: Yup! / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[The Music Cave]] / Harold: Just wait a minute... is that Mike? / Eddie: Who? / Harold: Mike Green! The dirtiest bastard who's ever walked on the crust of the Earth! Oh, I'm gonna fix him GOOD... / Eddie: Cherry soda fo the lady, and this one's on the house. / Mike: Neat! Thanks! / Dave: There's too many people on the dance floor now... we're taking a break. / Margaret: Oh gosh, I'd kill for something liquid! / Mike: Take my drink if you want, I haven't even touched it. Ice is bad for my cold. / Marsha: Geez. Since when do you care about your health? / Mike: Since I'm high on cold medicine... / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[The Music Cave]] / Dave: *whew* / Margaret: ? / Margaret: Want the rest of the drink? / Dave: Are you sure? / Margaret: I'm sure. We danced enough to dehydrate a camel. You must be thirsty too. / Dave: Thanks! There isn't any alcohol in it, right? / Margaret: Barely. / Dave: I'm using the last of my consciousness to state that this is not a drink, it's pure and simple PAINT THINNER. / Margaret: BWAHA, I know!! I'm such a LIAR when I'm drunk! / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[The Music Cave]] / Mike: Gee. How awkward. Don't tell me *we* act like that in public... / Marsha: Aw, let them be! / Mike: No, no, I'm glad for them... but what ever happened to decorum? / Marsha: My God, Mike. You must be stoned out of your mind. / Marsha: Hey A-PRIL! April, check it OUT! / April: Check wha-HOOOOOO! / Roger: Pfah! Nostradamus was right! / Dave: AHAHAHAHAHAH! Oh, God, please stop! Stop! / Margaret: Pffheeeeheeeheee! Surrender, evildoer! / Dave, Margaret: tickle tickle tickle / Dave: NeHAHAHAHver! YOU surrender! / Margaret: Heheheee! YOU! / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[The Music Cave]] / April: Oooh I KNEW IT! I knew you two would end up together! AHAHAHA! And you were denying it all the time! / Margaret: I have to admit you were right about everything, April. Let's drink to that! Go ahead, be my guest. / April: Thanks! Here's to you guys and a ton of happiness in your new adventure together! / April: OkAY. First, this is not cola. Second, this explains a whooole lot of things. / Dave, Margaret: BWAHAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[The Music Cave]] / Margaret: Nobody ever beats me at thumb-wrestling, laserlips! / Dave: We'll see about that, sexyshoulders! / Roger: Hey April! Are you ever coming back to dance? / April: Nah. I'd rather feel miserable and ponder my lonely, lonely existence on this rotten Earth. Thank you very much. / Roger: Well, the Limbo King is off to the contest. The winner gets to play fountain. / April: It's not "playing fountain", Roger. They're gonna pour two bottles down your throat. / Roger: Pfft! Normally I'd believe you, but you're too drunk. / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[The Music Cave]] / Harold: I can't believe that sucker is still standing! Did you give him the drinks? / Eddie: Yeah, but maybe he gave them to his friends. They're wasted. / Harold: Ah. Very clever, Mike. But I still have other ways to screw you... / Mike: ??? / Marsha: Mh, maybe it's time to go home. Looks like some of us already have had too much. / Margaret: Woo! Shake it baby! / April: I need more booze. / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[The Music Cave]] / Mike: Enough with the booty shaking, man! What are you trying to do, scar me for life? / Dave: HEEEEEEY! Why, if it's Mike, my bestest friend in the whooole world! / Mike: And there you go with the scarring thing again! / Mike: I can't BELIEVE this! You too, April? / April: Not my fault. Wuz tricked by these two. Some friends... / Margaret: Meeeh. *hic* Ya should be gratefal. Ya were borin', we made ya party... / Mike: Geez! We'll discuss this later. Move towards the door, we'll pick Roger on the way out. / Eddie: Your check, sir. Mastercard, Visa or kidney? / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[The Music Cave]] / Mike: Whywhat the...? Where in the...? I didn't order any of this! Just a couple of cherry sodas! / Eddie: Well, ask your friends. You can't get plastered off of cherry soda, can you? / Dave: Don't think I ordered anything but I moight be wrong. Afffter all, I dun remember the name of my first newborn either. / Margaret: 'S not a newborn, silly... it's Frag, our pet grenade! Socute....socute... eheheheeeehehehe! / April: Yer lying. We 'nt order a THING from you or your twin brother. And I'm gonna kick yer ass! / Eddie: Wow. I wonder if she's got a boyfriend? / Mike: Marsha, I need a favor. Get everybody in a cab and make sure they get home. / Marsha: No WAY. I'm not leaving you with this trouble. / Mike: I'll be fine, but please get them out of here before they get me in more trouble. / Marsha: Oh, all right. / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[The Music Cave]] / Marsha: Roooooger! Come down here, I got something for you! / Roger: Milk *hic* bone??? / Marsha: Come down, Roger... I think I saw a roadrunner out there... / Roger: Allriiiight! / Dave, Margaret: One two three, kick! One two three, kick! / Roger: Waaait. Dishe zay roadrunner? Thought she said streetwalker... / April: Idiots. All of ya... / Marsha: Yeah, enjoy it while you can... if Mike gets in trouble because of you dorks, I'm gonna deliver some serious SPANKIN'... / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[The Music Cave]] / Mike: All right, enough nonsense. I'm not gonna pay for those drinks because you and I know that my friends didn't order them. Who are you working for? / Eddie: In the hypothetical case that was true, what's in it for me? / Mike: For one thing, I could give you the phone number of my friend the Sexy Blondie Wonder. If you're interested. / Eddie: That SOUNDS interesting... but how about a date? / Mike: Mh. Okay, you got it. / Mike: Harold, my man! I can't believe you got promoted from solid garbage boy to liquid garbage manager! / Harold: I see we stil have roaches around here... I'm gonna sue the plague control service. / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[The Music Cave]] / Mike: I don't know why you're asking for trouble, Harold. I STILL have those nice pics of you... / Harold: Hah hah. Go ahead and show 'em around. I broke up with Annie and Milly dumped me. / Harold: You always think you've got your ass covered. I got you this time, Mike. / Mike: You think I'm stupid, right? Of course I know Milly dumped you. But I'm wondering what Annie's husband is gonna say if I show him the pics and I spice the story up a little... / Harold: That might be a problem. But I'm willing to take the risk just for the satisfaction of getting back at you. / Mike: As you like it, but that way we BOTH lose. Instead, why don't we decide it with a little armwrestling. If you beat me I'll pay and give you the pics. If I beat you, it's on the house. Unless you're too afraid of me. / Harold: You wouldn't beat a mosquito without your tentacle, Mike. / Mike: No tentacle. / Harold: All right. But keep the pics. If I win, I wanna set you on fire. / Mike: Meh. Okay. / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[The Music Cave]] / Harold: Consider yourself barbequed, Mike. I've been working out. It's gonna be so easy it's almost not worth it. / Mike: Oh yeah? I've been throwing my roommates around myself. So why are you putting cotton in your ears? Are your little girl screams that deafening? / Harold: Pfft. I know the way you work. You're gonna try to distract me with something so I let my guard down. Not gonna happen, you see... / Mike: That's just irresponsable, man. What if there's a UFO or a busty celebrity behind you? / Harold: Sorry. Didn't hear the last thing you said. / Harold: Let's get this started already... My boss said I have exactly ten minutes to crush you like a bug, set you on fire, point and laugh. / Mike: Ba-pssch. You're complaining? Well, *I* have three seconds to come up with a new plan... / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[The Music Cave]] / Harold: Umph! Oh no. Ooooh NOOO.... / Harold: Nnhghrrr...!!! There! That's better... / Mike: WOK! / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[The Music Cave]] / Harold: I'm so disappointed, Mike. I thought you'd put up more of a fight... / Mike: I'm as shocked as you! / Mike: I'm sure there was a logical process behind my idea, but I can't remember what it was... / Mike: I think I'm not in my best... HEY! / Harold: Relax, brandy is good for your hair, and a good fuel too! / Mike: *grumble* Well I'm... uh, what are you guys doing here? / Harold: Maybe they want to join in the fun? / Dave: Hey... why're you botherin' my best friend in the whole world? / Roger: Yah, and why'z he allowed to play funteen? He'nt won the limbo conteezt... / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[Street]] / Mike: Get out of here, guys! What do you want to do, ruin everything? Who called you anyway? Shoo, shoo! / Dave: Alright, alright... we just thought... / Roger: Good... I can look for th' roadrunner instead... / Mike: There. I got rid of them. You can proceed. / Harold: What? I can't believe you didn't weasel out of this one.... / Mike: I never weasel out of my deals. If the deal was the fire I get the fire. / Mike: I just need a... a second... *SIGH* hehehehe... oh yeah. Wooo! YES, I'm ready now... / Harold: Wait a minute.... you're never that dumb! And you're never that honest, either! You're pretending... but why, why would you want me to set you on fire? / Mike: Don't be ridiculous, man. Nobody likes to be set on fire... nobody likes that kind of EXTREME... mmmh... PAIN... / Harold: Uh... / Mike: So c'mon, c'mooooon.... I'm ready now, light my fire... yeah.... / Dave: My God... yer two sick puppies...aren't ya... / Mike: Hey, where are you going? You promised! / Harold: Forget it! / Mike: Can I borrow your lighter then? / Harold: STAY AWAY FROM ME! / Dave: Geez Mike... stop shoutin' that kind of stuff in public... / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[Street]] / Mike:That was fun. Where are the girls? / Dave: They leffft. We were playing "Tag" and Marsha was annoyed for some reshun. / Dave: She started sshlappin' us around... / Dave: Then she called a cab, and I toldar I was feelin' kinda sick... and she zaid... um, wait, what was it? She zaid... uuuuhm... / Dave: I got it... tip of my tongue... I can do thish... / Dave: Ah yeah... she zaid... "Whatever" Then she hit th' road... / Mike: Gee, I wonder why she was annoyed? / Dave: Meh. Yer girl's too grumpy. Unlike Marg'ret... / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[Street]] / Mike: I can't wait to get home... I think the low phase of the cold syrup is kicking in... I gotta keep my eyes open... / Dave: Mm... Mike...? / Mike: What kind of stupid town is this where you can't find a place to get a lousy cup of coffee at three in the morning? / Dave: Can we shtop for a minute....? Gonna be SICK.... / Mike: WHAT? / Roger: Heeey... mebe I'm rrreally drunk, but I dun see how ridin' a car with halff yer body out of it helps you feel be*hic*ter... / Dave: AAAAAAAH! / Mike: Do I need to explain you everything? Fresh air, man, it's all about the fresh air. And the screaming. / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[Street]] / Mike: Well, we're almost there. It's been a wild night but we made it home in one piece. Hopefully, now we can crawl into bed and finally get some sleep. / Dave, Roger: ZzzZZZZZZZZZ / Mike: Just another night of babysitting you guys... but maybe someday you'll appreciate it. / Mike: ZzzzZzzzzZzzZ / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[Street]] / Cop: Mind if I interrupt your sleep, sir? Please step out of the car... / Mike: ZZzzzZ-??? / Mike: Eep. I'm sorry, officer. It's finals week, and I just kind of dozed off. / Cop: Yeah, I can smell how sleepy you are... / Mike: Mmh. Heh. Some dork poured a drink on me. Give me a test if you don't believe me. / Cop: Funny... no as high as I thought. But still above the limit. / Mike: WHAT? But I haven't had anything to drink! Not even WATER! Oh wait... does cold syrup show in that thing? / Cop: Cold syrup, huh? Yeah, I guess all those bottles in the back seat are cold syrup... / Mike: It's a BORROWED car! / Cop: For a drunk guy, you give some snappy answers. Still, you're coming with me... / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[Classroom, Cell]] / Dave: Iiigh! Iiigh! I'm... *pant* here! / Dave: Iiigh... sorry to be... iiigh, late! Got arrested, *pant* long story... / Mr. Dover: Here you go. Hurry up, you might at least work enough problems to pass. / Paper: 1. (No partial credit, 100 points) Your calculus final is in two hours and you're in a cell for underage drinking. What do you do? / Dave: Uuuh??? / Dave: AAAAAAAH! Uh... wait... AAAAAAH! / Mike: She's awake, Jim! / Roger: Ssshhhh... don't disturb the little brain drummers... unless you have a leech handy... / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[Cell]] / Dave: OOW! What happened? Why are we here? / Roger: We got booze. Therefore we were drunk. Therefore we are here. / Mike: Excuse me. I was NOT drunk. Just a little sleepy and a liiiittle high on cold syrup, that's all. / Dave: Enggh. Why do I ever listen to you, Mike? If I had stayed home studying I wouldn't be in jail with a xhlemphregomfort hangover. Why? Why? Oh, why... / Roger: I have a theory that our learning curve is actually SPIKEY, but I don't feel like explaining it. / Mike: You are right, guys. This is all my fault.I should be punished for trying to relax a bit before the final with a little harmless dancing... / Mike: Instead of BEATING THE CRAP OUT OF YOU GUYS LIKE I ALWAYS DO! / Dave: UuUgh! The pain is the same in the end, you know? / Roger: If only going werecoyote wasn't very bad for hangovers... / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[Cell, Girls' Apartment]] / Dave: *whimper* / Mike: Geez, Dave. It's not the end of the world... / Dave: I don't think you understand. The final is out THERE. We're in HERE> Stuck. Doomed. Dead. / Mike: Meh. I've been in worse trouble than this. Anyway, we're still not doomed... the girls are trying to bail us out. / Dave: With what money? / Mike: Don't worry! My girl's resourceful. / Marsha: All right, people, look lively here! Running out of time, not enough money! / April: Voila! Found a quarter under the couch. / Marsha: snap snap / Margaret: Mmgghn... for the love of God... I'll do whatever you want but shut up... / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[Cell]] / Mike: Well, the final must be starting now. Guess we'll miss it after all. / Dave: I hope you're happy, Mike. You ruined my life yet AGAIN. / Mike: Hey, don't blame ME. I didn't get you drunk... Margaret did! / Dave: You're LYING. She wouldn't do something like that to me. / Mike: I've heard that line so many times, Dave. But who knows? Maybe she thought you're SUCH a loser you'd be more fun drunk. / Dave: She didn't think... she... / Mike: Oh sorry! I forgot you regularly read her mind! Why don't you take all your self-pity and stuff it up your behind? / Roger: Could you guys stop rhyming so much? I'm trying to focus into NOT becoming a werecoyote... aw, HELL... / Dave: Stuff THIS! / Mike: UGH! / Dave: THWACK! / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[Street]] / Wall: CRACK / Mike: Ba-psssch. Look what we've done, guys. Another big hole in another nice wall. / Dave: Eeh. Do you think we're gonna have to pay for that? / Mike: As always, no. Let's make like a banana and SPLIT. / Roger: OW. Don't speak about SPLITTING... / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[Park]] / Mike: HeeHEEEE! This is the way we escape from jail, escape from jail, escape from jail... / Dave: Mike, shut up! I'm trying to freak out over the fact that I'm a fugitive and I didn't stufy Chapter 14! / Roger: Meh, let him smile. After all we could use time slowing down for once! / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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