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[[Girls' Apartment]] / Marsha: I knew it, I KNEW IT! You are Soooo dead! / Mike: Ah, there you are. I was wondering if you were hiding or just using the microphone spy thingie. / Marsha: Say your prayer you...! / Mike: Wait, wait! I'm off-limits! We broke up, so I was NOT cheating on you! / Mike: Of course, i could be wrong...maybe I MISHEARD you when you said we were through...if that's the case, then I'm still your boyfriend and I'm totally guilty and you have all the right to be mad at me! / Marsha: Uuh... / Marsha: so if I say you're still my boyfriend, I can HURT you really bad? / Mike: Oh, totally! / Marsha: Then you're still my boyfriend! / Margaret: Well, one way or another, they're back together. Not quite the way we wanted it, but Marsha won't cook again. / Mike: But you're gonna have to CATCH ME FIRST! / Marsha: come back here! I'm gonna get you! / April: Brrr...next time YOU kiss him, and I wear Marsha's clothes... / {{Part of the "Marshaless" storyline}} |
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[[Outside]] / Marsha: It's useless Mike! You just can't run forever, you know! I'm gonna GET YOU! / Mike: Not if you get tired first. / Marsha: We'll SEE about that! I'm in better shape than YOU! / Mike: It's not a matter of fitness... / Mike: It soley depends on what is bigger: your rage or my self-preservation instinct! / Marsha: MY RAGE! / Mike: MY INSTINCT! / Marsha: RAGE! / Mike: INSTINCT! / Marsha: Gonna...crush you...*pant pant*...just a couple *pant* minutes... / Mike: Too...late...*wheeze* already...DEAD... / {{Part of the "Marshaless" storyline}} |
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[[Outside]] / Marsha: I can't believe you wanted to get in on with my roommates. I'm never gonna forgive you. / Mile: I wasn't serious, Marsha. You think I'm a total idiot? I knew you were listening! / Marsha: Yeah, right. / Mike: Look, I know you. The moment I become your ex-boyfriend you become my stalker... / Marsha: If you weren't serious, why didn't you just reject them both? / Mike: And then what? wait for the next test to be run on me? it was definately better I piss you off so we could finally talk or kill each other or whatever. / Mike: You know, I'm the one who should be mad. Everytime you've thought I'm cheating on you, you've ben proved wrong, and you STILL don't trust me at all. / Marsha: You still gon't get it, do you? this is NOT about cheating or trust. / Mike: What? ALl this is 'cause of my "thing" with Kath, so... / Marsha: It's not about Kath...and if you don't know what it's about, then maybe we shouldn't be together anymore... / {{Part of the "Marshaless" storyline}} |
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[[Outside]] / Mike: You can't be serious! You're breaking up with me and you don't even want to tell me WHY??? / Marsha: Mike, you should know. If you don't know why I'm mad, then you don't know me at ALL. / Mike: That is So UNFAIR! / Marsha: I'm sorry. / Mike: Well, fine. If that's the way you want it. Now I'm gonna have to follow you everywhere and call you every fiveminutes and tap your phone until you either come back to me or get a restraining order! / Marsha: Really? / Mike: Yup. You know why? / Marsha: Why? / Mike: Because that's exactly what you'd do... / Marsha: So you wouldn't just give up on me, like in the dream? / Mike: Not unless I was really stoned and pluged to a machine! / Marsha: Aaaw... / {{Part of the "Marshaless" storyline}} |
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[[Girls' Apartment]] / Marsha: Hey girls, check it oooooout! / April: Ooooh! Is that a promise ring? / Marsha: Yep! / Margaret: YES!!! We're poison-free! / Marsha: What? / April: No more cooking for you! Remeber what you said this morning? / Marsha: That bastard son of a squid can forget about me. I'd stop cooking before coming back to him. / Margaret: You're KIDDING! / April: (action) poit! / Marsha: uh...I was kidding... / April: you said you were NOT. From now on, only Margaret and me will do the cooking around here. / Marsha: But, but what if I'm starving and all alone... / Margaret: That's why we have an endless supply of cereal boxes... / {{Part of the "Marshaless" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Dave: (thought bubbles) What was I doing here, again? / Dave: (thought bubbles) Ah. Oh yeah... / Mike: ZzzZzzZzzZzZ / Dave: (action) FWAP! / Mike: ZzzzMPHHH! / Mike: Isn't it a bit late for Assassination attemps? / Dave: It's 4:00 a.m. Explain: Margaret in leather, requiring you. / Mike: Man, I HATE your slow reactions. And it IS a bit early for third-degree burns... / {{Part of the "Marshaless" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: Dave, are you EVER gonna eat that cereal? / Dave: Geez. Well, I happen to LIKE it soggy... / Roger: Hey guys, Diana called. She's back from her trip to see her dad and she says we can pick up our stuff. / Mike: Wha? / Roger: She came to visit while we were gone and noticed the lock doesn't work, so she took all the valuable stuff to her place. / Mike: Uh... / Roger: Did I forget to tell you? Sorry. / Mike: My God, Roger. I don't know wheather to kiss you or KILL YOU. / April: Pick the "Kill" option. Trust me on this one. / Roger: Ba-psssch. It's a lot simpler just to fake my death. / {{Part of the "Marshaless" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: Back off girl. Marsha and I are together again, so no matter how much you desire me, I'm off-limits. / April: Oh HA. If you're still too dumb to get it, that was a trap to get you and Marsha together. / Mike: Yeah, I know. Heh, at least that's what YOU say. / April: WHAT I SAY??? Listen you idiot, I did you a favor... / Mike: Sure you did, April. And in a lot os senses. But you shouldn't be ashames of being attracted to me...It's just a natural thing... / April: Why you...! / Mike: so what are you gonna say next, that you didn't like kissing me? Pffft! / April: All right! So maybe I did. A little. But if you EVER tell any living soul I said that, I'm gonna chop off your friggin' bi nose and serve it to you for breakfast! / Mike: (thought bubble) Gees. I was just kidding... / {{Part of the "Marshaless" storyline}} |
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[[Classroom]] / Dave: *Brrrr* can you feel the EVIL in the air, Roger? The danger? can you feel the impulse to curl up in a ball and suck your thumb? / Roger: WHAT? There are CLOWNS in HERE?! / Dave: clowns? I wish. No, my friend, I'm talking of a much bigger evil... / Roger: then what is it? Cthulhu? Satan? Mike's mom? / Dave: You don't know what it is? What kind of bliss are you living in man? / Roger: No clue. Gimme one. / Dave: All right, but you can't say the word. Here's a clue. It starts with an "F". / Roger: So it's an "F" word, huh? Ummm. Faeries? Furry clowns? Females? / Dave: Even MORE terrifying! / Roger: Finals? / Dave: AAAGH! You said the word! WHY did you say the word? / Roger: Whoops! Nove I've summoned them, right? / Dave: YES!!! Yes. damn your three eyes! / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[Girls' Apartment]] / Mr. Dover: Well, ladies and gentlemen, this is it. Remember, don't be late for your calculus final...you're gonna need all the time you can get. Heh! Any questions? / Mike: Dave, don't do it. Don't! / Dave: I need to know, Mike. / Mike: Put down your friggin' hand before I break it again! / Mr. Dover: Yes, Dave? / Dave: Mr. Dover, what's coming up in the final? / Mr. Dover: Ah. Your class nots should be enough. Wait, you better include the Leithold book. You know, the fat one. / Class: MEEH! / Mr. Dover: and the Lobatchevsky theory. Oh, I almost forgot L'Hopital. / Class: Noooo! / Mr. Dover: And just for fun, add the Principia Mathematica, just to honor good ol' Isaac. / Class: BLAAH! / Roger: Is it just me, or did amount of what we have to study just increased 541% / Mike: He forgot "Anatomy of Severe Pain"... / Class: BOO! You SUCK! KILL him! / Dave: I'm sorry! I HAD To do it! And I would do it AGAIN! / Margaret: Read my shirt, David! / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[Classroom]] / Mike: oh for crying out loud, someone stop him! Roger, you're next to him! Kick him, punch him, strangle him with your tentacle! / Roger: But I don't have a tentacle... / Mike: My God, you're such a pathetic LOSER! / Dave: Miss Kohn? I have a question... / Margaret: (action) POUNCE! / Dave: AGH! / Mike: Now SHE is resouceful. Watch and learn, you useless excuse for a ninja werecoyote. / Roger: I don't care what you call me, Mike, I'm just NOT gonna smother Dave with my lap. / Margaret: Dave? No, that's okay, people mistake me for him all the time... / Dave: mphh! / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[Hall]] / Dave: Ow! That was arousing, I mean, PAINFUL! What's the amtter with you??? / Margaret: That's not painful. Painful is when you ask a teacher a question and then someone drops a Patriot missile on you! / Mike: Hey Dave, I'm dying to try my new box of tranquilizer darts! Why don't you ask the Algebra teacher what's coming up in the final? / April: It's probably wrong for me to say this twice in the same day, but if you keep asking teachers what's coming up in finals, I'm gonna have to chop off your friggin' small nose and serve it to you for breakfast. / Marsha: Yo, Dave! Want to see a magic trick? Ask a teacher what's coming up in the finals and in a second you'll have a horde of rabid squirrels attacking your pants! / Roger: You know, Dave? If you want to ask teachers about finals, that's okay with "me", but Fluffy has a knocking argument against it... / Dave: All right, you guys! I get the point! / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[Malt Shoppe]] / Roger: So how are your folks? / Diana: Aw, we were so happy to be together, even if it was only for a few days...And how did the fight with the secret society go? / Roger: Ah, it was a trap. We got really stoned and ended up in a motel room. / Diana: Great! / Diana: *sigh* I'm really gonna miss you, Roger... / Roger: What are you talking about? I'm not going anywhere... / Diana: Yeah, but finals are coming soon...we won't have alot of time to spend together... / Roger: Why not? / Diana: Roger...I can't concentrate on studying if I'm not alone. / Roger: what do you need concentration for? All you gotta do is fall asleep and take your test... / Diana: You're the only one who can do that! / Roger: What is WRONG with you people??? / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[Hall]] / Marsha: I say we SPY on him...I bet he's gonna keep on asking his little questions over the phone! / April: Naaah. He has to do it when Margaret's around! Next time, she might even SIT on his face! / Mike: Now, now. Girls! The guy's had enough. Besides, he's gonna have to study just as much as the rest of us. / Marsha: Geez, when YOU say it's been enough, it's probably already been too much! / April: Meh. What are you now, Mr. Goodie? / Dave: What do you want, Mike? / Mike: The same as everybody else, Dave...peace on Earth, a huge TC, and xerox copies of all your notebooks. / Dave: Thank God. You were starting to worry me. / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[Library]] / Dave: Hey, are they cleaning or something? All the books are gone! / April: I'm afraid you're too late, Dave... / Dave: Wha? / April: Yup. The Hoarding Monster was already here. Smell that book you have in your hand. / Dave: Smell?? / April: Just humor me. / Dave: Mmh. Vanilla, coconut and gun powder. Damn, she's fast, isn't she. / April: Very. But she let me borrow some books for now. I could share them with you, if you're done sniffing the book. / Dave: Uhuh. Just five minutes... / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[Library]] / April: So, how're things going between you and Margaret? / Dave: Erm. April, I'm trying to concentrate here. / April: Oh. That bad. / Dave: No, actually not bad. Neither good. They're just NOT going. / April: Really? I thought you guys were going to give it a try! / Dave: No... we decided that it wouldn't be good to rush into things. / April: Wow. I had no idea. I was quite sure... / Dave: Why were you so sure? Did she mention something? / April: No... but she's somehow changed since your date. She's nicer to use, and smiles more often. / Dave: You're kidding. / April: The other day she was even singing in the shower! / Dave: Really? What song? / April: "Another One Bites The Dust". / Dave: Good. We're still talking about the same Margaret. / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: I still don't know how you can study for hours and hours and hours without getting crazy and going into a killing-spree. / Dave: Well, I'm worried. I studied hard in high school and got excellent grades. And I keep studying just as hard, but my grades are now CRAP. / Mike: No, I don't mean you don't have good reasons to keep on studying like a maniac, I'm just saying that I CAN'T. Everytime I try to study for a test that is more than a day away, my mind tricks me into doing other stuff instead. / Dave: Why does a standard deviation take the square root of the average of the sum of the squared differences between X and X mean? Do you remember? / Mike: No, but I *do* remember that the toilet is dirty. Must clean toilet. / Dave: Wow, I didn't think that would work. / Mike: Must scrub thoroughly... / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[Girls' Apartment]] / Marsha: Pfft! Mike will do ANYTHING instead of studying... I had to escape through the bathroom window to get away from him! / Margaret: Isn't that supposed to be a good thing? / Marsha: Normally, yeah... but when am *I* supposed to study? / Marsha: Canned corn??? HAH! Since you banned me from the kitchen, you girls have resorted to eat CRAP.. / Margaret: "Since"? / Margaret: You criticize Mike, but I haven't seen you open a book yet. / Marsha: I'm going to... uh oh. Chipped nail. Books are gonna have to wait. / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: Dave. / Dave: Mmh? / Mike: Could you STOP studying for one damn moment? / Dave: Mmwhy? / Mike: First, because you're making me nervous, and second, because you forgot to feed your cat AGAIN. / Dave: What? OH NO! I'm so terrible sorry! / Dave: So, so terribly sorry, Chester... but what did I tell you about biting people? You don't know if they've had all their shots! / Mike: I'm FINE, thanks for ASKING! / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: What are you doing in my nightmare? / Dave: This is not your nightmare, it's MY nightmare. I was flunking because of a really stupid question whose answer I studied just a while ago. / Mike: Hey you! How do you wake up from someone else's nightmare? / Roger: You whack them upside the head with something heavy so they shut up and let you sleep. / Mike: I already did that. It didn't work. / Roger: Damn. Then I don't know how I will get rid of you... / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[Girls' Apartment]] / April: Margaret it's almost midnight. Aren't you going to bed? / Margaret: In a couple minutes / Study Sprite: *Poff* / Margaret: Oh my god what the hell are you? / Study Sprite: I be a study sprite. I help people in their studying. Is what I do. / Margaret: You don't say. Will you excuse me for a moment? / Study Sprite: Ah such a fine lass she be / Gun: *chuchc* / Margaret: You got two seconds to get the hell out of here. And I started counting three seconds ago. / Study Sprite: I just want to help you study! / Margaret: No lies! It's time to die! / April: She's having the study sprite dream again. / Marsha: I told her not to eat that fourth can of corn. / Margaret: get back here I'm not done shooting at you / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: Dave, have you seen my notebook? I think I misplaced it after the last test. / Dave: The final is tomorrow, and you STILL haven't found your notebook??? / Mike: Mh. Well, nothing to freak about. It's still early. / Dave: Aren't you supposed to be studying? / Mike: Yeah... I'm taking a break. / Dave: A break from what? / Mike: Looking for my notebook... / Dave: How can you do this?! What the hell is wrong with you??? You haven't studied a line, and it's 10p.m!!! / Mike: CRAP! Already??? / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Roger: Well, this one is done. Only three more and I'm done with the chapter... / Roger: What? Wrong, you say? / Roger: Oh course I'm using the right formula, I checked it twice! What do you mean, not that kind of problem? / Dave: Maybe you should ask an actual person, instead of woolforbrains? / Roger: You're right, I need a second opinion. Hey, Fluffy! / Mike: Mh, can I borrow Pepe for a moment? / Roger: 'Course not. Get your own damn plushie tutor. / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Dave: *blink* / Dave: Wake up! Wake up NOW! Power outage! Alarm clock flashing at 12:00! / Dave: Alarm never went off! / Dave: We won't make it! Wake up, we're late for our final! / Mike: Two questions. Firfst, what are you guys doing in my nightmare, and second, if we're late for the final how come it's still dark? / Dave: Okay, so I was a bit off. But if we WERE late for the test, would you guys prefer it if I wasted precious second actually checking for the time? / Roger: Werecoyotes are NOT morning persons, Dave. So yes, next time, please DO. / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment, Girls' Apartment]] / Dave: I hate it when the worst final is the last one... I'm totally burned out. So tired... / Mike: We're going to study with the firls... why don't you come too? / Dave: Naah, can't concentrate... / Mike: Heheh. You know? In a while, when everybody's tired of studying, we'll probably distract ourselves with a huge pillow fight. / Dave: And while we're all having fun anf the unavoidable hot orgie that will follow, you stay and try to study in this stinky hellhole. / April: I thought you were gonna stay home. / Dave: I was... but then I thought that at least here I wouldn't fall asleep, one way or another... / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[Girls' Apartment]] / Mike: ZzzZzz / Margaret: Psst! It's your turn! / Roger: Ohboyohboy! / Roger: *Ahem* Violation of rule number one of the Honor Code. I'm authorized by the All-Nighter Society to apply the proper punishment. / Mike: ZzzZzz / Roger: Bombs AWAY! / Mike: Yeek! / Margaret: Hey Mike! Say "FREEZE!" / Camera: click! / Roger: And since it's your fifth time, next time will be a whole tray! / Mike: I want out of the stupid Society. / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[Girls' Apartment]] / Mike: Oh No. Not way. Not now! / Marsha: What? / Mike: I feel like I'm coming down with a cold. All that damn ice down my shirt... / Marsha: We have some stuff for that in the bathroom. Serve yourself. / Label: Warning: May cause amnesia, drowsiness, asthma, pregnancy, athlete's foot, heart attack, drooling, PMS, PSL, seizures, sarcasm fits, spontaneous human combustion, amoeba, greasy hair or evil eye. / Mike: *gulp gulp gulp gulp gulp* / Mike: Minty... / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[Girls' Apartment]] / Dave: This is useless. / April: What? / Dave: I'm too tired. Any knowledge I acquire now bounces right out. / Mike: Why don't you have some of my tachycardia-inducing coffee? / Dave: Thanks, but I'm not sleepy... I'm just too tired to think. / Mike: You know what we need? We need to shut down our brains for some hours. I suggest we all go dancing or something. / Dave, Margaret: BLASPHEMER! / Mike: Yeah, that's the usual reaction... / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[Girls' Apartment]] / Dave: Mike, that's an incredibly bad idea. Go dancing the night before the calculus final? You're crazy! / Mike: Crazy? Ba-pssch. When did you get your PhD in psychiatrics? Hey, what do the rest of you guys think? / Marsha: I could use some distraction... / Roger: It makes sense. If we sleep, we'll have calculus dreams... but dancing increases the brain efficiency by 200%. / Margaret: You just made up that figure, right? / Roger: Yep. / Margaret: I'll buy it. / April: Could me IN!!! / Mike: So HAH! / Dave: Count me out. I don't have any money and I don't know where we're going without a car. / Mike: Who says we need money? You guys go get ready and leave the rest to Uncle Mike... / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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[[Street]] / Marsha: So, who did you blackmail this time to get the car, honey? / Mike: Not in the mood for blackmail... but if you give Frank "Teletubbie" a stack of porn and a six-pack he'll be distracted enough to not notice you stole his car keys. / Dave: There's too many people waiting outside! We're never gonna get in. / Margaret: I wish I brought a gun. Just a shot in the air and see the crowd disperse. / April: And see the police arrest us... / Roger: Well, I honestly don't follow your line of thinking. We're obviously gonna waste our three hours of amusement standing around here. / Mike: Ten bucks say that I'm gonna get us all inside in 10 minutes. / Roger: $9.99, and if they kick us out it doesn't count. / Mike: Ba-pssch. / {{Part of the "The F Word" storyline}} |
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