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| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | [[Mike and Dave look down out of the window, Mike pointing downward.]]
/ Mike: Look! He's hanging on the flagpole!
/ Dave: Oh gosh! Roger, are you okay? / [[Roger hangs upsidedown by his knees from a flagpole]]
/ Roger: I'm better than okay. I'm in ecstasy. Having a swell time answering stupid questions. Always wanted to do this. I was a bat in my former reincarnation.... / Mike [[rolling his eyes]]: I'd better get a rope.
/ Dave: Right, a rope! And a rock! Then we tie it to his neck, and there he GOES!
/ Roger [[from below]]: I HEARD that! http://crfh.net/d/19990330.html |
| [[Boys' Apartment]]Dave: Me? Not on your life! / Mike: YOU do it! You were the one that made him commit suicide! / Dave: Yes, but you gave him the final boost! / Roger: HELLO? I'm DYING down here! Save the fight for the funeral! / {{Part of the "Assisted Suicide" storyline}} | |
| [[Outside]] / Mike: Ow! Watch it, pal! / Dave: Sorry... / Roger: Got it! / Marsha: Mike...? / Mike: Coming, Marsha! / Dave: AAAAAARRGH!!! / {{Part of the "Assisted Suicide" storyline}} | |
| [[Outside]] / Dave: AAARRGHH!! / Roger: My hero! / Dave: Oh my God. We're gonna die! How can you be so calm? / Roger: After a while, blood goes to your head and shuts down your brain. / Dave: Well, I don't see how THAT made any difference to YOU! / April: WHOA! Hey guys, ain't you taking extreme sports way TOO far? / Margaret: Why can't we have normal neighbors like the rest of the world? / Dave: Great. Not only we gonna die, we also look really stupid hanging up here. / Roger: You mean, like wet pantyhose? / Dave: I'd rather think of myself as a Christmas ornament. / Caption: College Roomies from Hell!!! / {{Part of the "Assisted Suicide" storyline}} | |
| [[Outside]] / Mike: Oh, shoot! You, too, Dave? / Dave: Of course, me too, you idiot! You're holding me and then you just LEAVE?? / Mike: Well EXCUSE-ME for having a life! Marsha needed help and a gentleman's first priority is a babe. / Dave: yEAH?? She's got you WHIPPED! She snaps her fingers, you beg and play dead! / Roger: Um, we're hanging... / Dave, Mike: Shut UP! / {{Part of the "Assisted Suicide" storyline}} | |
| [[Roger: Mike, can you throw Pepe this way? I don't wanna die without him! / Mike: There he goes! / Dave: A big 18-wheeler just ran over Pepe. / Roger: He does it every time. Always HAS to be first! / {{Part of the "Assisted Suicide" storyline}} | |
| [[Outside]] / Roger: Well, this has been a ROTTEFlagpole: CRAACKK!!! / Dave: Don't you EVER say that! / {{Part of the "Assisted Suicide" storyline}} | |
| [[Outside]] / Flagpole: crieeeeek... / Roger: *GULP* / Dave: Don't move. Don't blink. Don't even BREATHE! / Flagpole: CRAAACK!!! / Roger: You forgot "Don't speak"! / {{Part of the "Assisted Suicide" storyline}} | |
| [[Hell]] / Fat Demon: Mmmh. Look at that. Those two boys are right on schedule! Go get their souls! / Skinny Demon: Sez who? / Fat Demon: Sez 'puter! / Skinny Demon: All right, all right! If 'puter says so... / Screen: *ALT-TAB* Angela> Hey, you still there? HOT_666> Just got rid of my roomate, Sweetie! / {{Part of the "Assisted Suicide" storyline}} | |
| [[Outside]] / Mike: If I don't help those morons they're gonna be dead meat! How do they ever get in so much trouble? / Mike: What do you say you move your truck just a couple blocks back? / Garbage Man: Five bucks ain't enough. Drop in a smooch and I'll think about it. / Caption: Meanwhile... / {{Part of the "Assisted Suicide" storyline}} | |
| [[Outside]] / Garbage Man: Well, so I parked the truck just below your friends. You still owe me a smooch. / Mike: I can't smooch you because I'm a responsible guy. I have this highly contagious mouth viral infection. / Garbage Man: Aaaw. Forget it. I think I heard that one a zillion times... / Mike: Ha, big deal. Me too! / April: Look! A really big truck parked under them! / Margaret: Just in time. There they go! / Marsha: Don't wanna look. Don't wanna look. / April: Oops! Bad bounce! / Window: CRASH! / Marsha: WHY did you let me LOOK? WHY??? / Mike: Wake up, man! Are you okay? Where's Dave? / Roger: Uh...? What? Oh, I think he crashed through a window... / Dave: UH OH. / {{Part of the "Assisted Suicide" storyline}} | |
| [[Outside]] / April: Are you okay, Roger? / Roger: I guess so, April. Thanks. / Mike: Dammit. Dave bounced into Waldo and Steven's window, the Kids in Satan's Service. / April: If he's lucky maybe they are not home. / Roger: He just fell outta the window and you expect him to be lucky? / Mike: Even if they are not home, maybe he's hurt. I'm going up there. / April: Is it me, or there's a red horned guy in the window? / Roger: Can't be. Mike just left. / {{Part of the "Assisted Suicide" storyline}} | |
| [[Steve and Waldo's Apartment]] / Waldo: Hey Dave, long time no see! / Steve: We need to perform a ritual sacrifice and you drop by! Talk about luck! / Steve: Aaaw. Look at that! He just FAINTED! / Waldo: Wow. What a WUSS! / Skinny Demon: Yeah, what a cry-baby. / {{Part of the "Assisted Suicide" storyline}} | |
| [[Steve and Waldo's Apartment]] / Steve: I can't BELIEVE it worked! / Waldo: Would you sign my book? / Skinny Demon: "Demon invocations for DUMMIES"? / {{Part of the "Assisted Suicide" storyline}} | |
| [[Apartment Hall]] / Mike: They're in there! I can hear them! I don't think they're gonna open the door anyway... / Mike: In Movie, this always works. / Mike: Must be one of those computer special effects. / {{Part of the "Assisted Suicide" storyline}} | |
| [[Steve and Waldo's Apartment]] / Steve: What do you mean the book is no good!! It worked! Even when we didn't perform the sacrifice! / Skinny Demon: I came for this mortal's soul, not because you summoned me! Of course, he's not dead, but that's gonna be our little secret, right, boys? / Skinny Demon: ...and buy another book - see ya in hell! / Mike: ? / {{Part of the "Assisted Suicide" storyline}} | |
| [[Steve and Waldo's Apartment, Hell]] / Skinny Demon: WHAT THE HELL...? / Mike: Did I just push the Devil outta the window???? / Waldo: OOPS! Bad bounce. / Steve: Naw, just a lesser demon. And your little friend, too. / Screen: Angela> So tell me more about you. What do you do for a living? HOT_666> I run really fast and far away... / {{Part of the "Assisted Suicide" storyline}} | |
| [[Boys' Apartment]] / Dave: Geez! What happened? / Roger: You just fell outta the window. / Mike: TWO TIMES! / Marsha: Mmh, guys, are you gonna be okay? / Dave: You're not gonna believe what I saw... *oof!* / Mike: He-he! He's delirious! Of course, we'll be fine! See ya! / April: Okay. If you need something, we'll be home the rest of the day. / Mike: Are we not weird enough for them? Shut up about the demon stuff! / Dave: Hey! No pushing! / Roger: I'm forgettin' something. What is it? What is it? / Roger: What is it? I can't remember. Aw, heck. Forget it. I'll think about it tomor-- / Roger: AAAAARRGH! / {{Part of the "Assisted Suicide" storyline}} | |
| [[Boys' Apartment]] / Roger: AAAARRRGH! / Dave: Just when I thoughT this day was finally OVER.... / Mike: The sad thing about it is that it doesn't surprise me at all. / Clock: creek creek creek / {{Part of the "Mr. Hand" storyline}} | |
| [[Outside]] / Waldo's Sister: Say, little one. What are you doing here? / Waldo's Sister: Why did they throw you away? You're cute! And it looks like a bus ran over you... / Roger: HEY, KID! You, kid! Leave that coyote alone! / Roger: STOP! Coyote-nappin' is a federal offense! / {{Part of the "Mr. Hand" storyline}} | |
| [[Boys' Apartment]] / Roger: And so, she took Pepe, and I ran after that kid, but couldn't catch her! / Mr. Hand: Too bad! I'm really sorry to hear it! What did you do next? / Roger: What else? I came home, all alone... / Mr. Hand: Oh, that dirty, no-good, snotty coyote-stealing brat! / Mike: I'll finish my brushing elsewhere. / Roger: Well, Mike, you're not contributing a lot to the conversation, anyway, uh? / Mr. Hand: Nope, he isn't! / {{Part of the "Mr. Hand" storyline}} | |
| [[Boys' Apartment]] / Dave: I think Roger lost Pepe AND his mind. I know he used to talk to Pepe all the time, but did you meet the 'substitute'? / Mike: Mr. Hand? Oh, I don't think THAT's gonna work... / Dave: How come you're so sure? / Mike: Well, first of all. Pepe was a good listener. Didn't talk. Mr. Hand just won't shut up. And, besides... / Mike: I'm afraid it's starting to develop a mind of its own / Mr. Hand: Yer an idiot. / Roger: HEY! / {{Part of the "Mr. Hand" storyline}} | |
| [[Boys' Apartment]] / Roger: Yes, we have a problem! Your ATTITUDE is the problem! / Mr. Hand: A problem, UNH? I'll SHOW you a PROBlEM! / Roger: Hey! Whoa! What are you doing? / Mr. Hand: HA! HA-HA-HA HA-HA! / Roger: You know, you're REALLY starting to PISS ME OFF!!! / {{Part of the "Mr. Hand" storyline}} | |
| [[Boys' Apartment]] / Caption: This was my day with Mr. Hand. Activities included: / Caption: HARASSING. / Mr. Hand: Woo-Hoo! / Caption: EXTREME SPORTS / Mr. Hand: I see a tall, dark stranger... / Roger: !!! / Caption: SHOPLIFTING / Guy: HEY YOU! Drop the biker's glove! / Mr. Hand: Never! / Caption: USING MY ONLY PHONE CALL TO VOLUNTEER FOR "THE JENNY STINKER SHOW". / Roger: HELP!!! / Mr. Hand: Gotta call! Gotta get my 15 minutes of fame!!! / {{Part of the "Mr. Hand" storyline}} | |
| [[Boys' Apartment]] / Jenny: Today in The Jenny Stinker Show: "Men With Hands And The Hands That Hate Them" / Roger: That's right, Jenny - my own hand hates me, and it's outta control. / Mr. Hand: Wouldn't you be too, if you were attatched to this loser??? / Jenny: Save the fight for later. We have not even started to ask embarassing questions yet. First, we go with the audience / Sign: down with CRFH / Jenny: Should they get a divorce or try therapy? What do you think, Mr...? / Abe: Abraham Lincoln. Hands are evil! A hand killed Kennedy. The Mob? A black hand. And the amazing fact is that Hitler had a hand, too! / Jenny: So what do you want to say, Miss...? / Jeff: Jeff. Roger, darling, that's a stupid lookin' shirt you're wearing, and I'd also like to ask Mr. Hand on a date... alone. / Mike: We saw Mr. Hand giving the Mr. Finger on national television. / Roger: That was, actually, me. / Mr. Hand: Loser! You've ruined our career! We've been banned! / Caption: College Roomies from Hell!!! / Caption: WARNING The following show is intended for an emotionally immature, sensationalistic-seeking audience. So go ahead. / {{Part of the "Mr. Hand" storyline}} | |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | [[Dave and Mike are studying, Roger slaps himself]]
/ Roger: Yeowch! Stop it!
/ < http://crfh.net/d/19990426.html |
| [[Boys' Apartment]] / Roger: YEOWCH! Stop it! / Mr. Hand: SLAP / Roger: ooooow! Cut it out! Leggo! / Dave: I'm gonna fail this test. / Mike: I'd do something, but it's illegal, and seems like Mr. Hand had the same idea. / Roger: Aaagh! gghhjjj! / {{Part of the "Mr. Hand" storyline}} | |
| [[Boys' Apartment]] / Roger: Mmmh. Thanks. See you in class. / Roger: Psychology teachers are nuts... / Ms. Hand: Good job. Now how about a nice manicure? / Teacher: Yes, master. / {{Part of the "Mr. Hand" storyline}} | |
| [[Boys' Apartment]] / Teacher: Now, look at my hand... you're feeling relaxed... relaxed... relaxed... / Teacher: Now, listen carefully... / Roger: relaxed... / Teacher: Your hand does NOT have a mind of its own. It's you. You're the one to blame for all the things your hand did... / Roger: I am... / Teacher: Done! I think you're gonna be just fine. / Roger: Mmmh. Thanks. See you in class. / Roger: Psychology teachers are nuts... / Ms. Hand: Good job. Now how about a nice manicure? / Teacher: Yes, master. / {{Part of the "Mr. Hand" storyline}} | |
| [[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: Okay, I think it's time for a little talk with Mr. Hand. / Mike: Remember elementary school? / Roger: St. Peter's School? / Mike: Right. Four words: Nuns with big rulers. / Mr. Hand: Noooooo! I'll behave, I promise! Don't take me there, please! / Roger: Well do{{Part of the "Mr. Hand" storyline}} | |
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