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| [[Boys' Apartment]] / Blue: *sniff* / Blue: My God! Wha... what happened to you, Dave? / Margaret: Mmh, do you REALLY want to know? Your psycho bro almost beat him to death. / Dave: mmgh / Blue: Mike WHAT? / Dave: I wonder... what did you tell him to make him so MAD at me? / Blue: But I didn't...! / Dave: Never mind. Whatever it was, it was damn effective. I hope you're happy, Blue. / Blue: Mike! Are you okay? What's going on? / Mike: Listen, Blue... I'm sorry! I really should have watched over you better... / Blue: You're bleeding! / Mike: It's nothing. It doesn't even hurt anymore. / Blue: Are you SURE you're okay, Mike? / Mike: Positive. / Blue: Well, in THAT case...!!! / Sound: WHACK! / Mike: ??? / {{Part of the "Blue Madness" storyline}} | |
| [[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: Ow! Why did you do that??? / Blue: Why? Because you almost killed my boyfriend, you stupid idiot! What do you have, a gun instead of a brain? / Mike: What? He's not your boyfriend! / Blue: Well, I wish he was! / Mike: After he forced you to kiss him??? You're CRAZY! / Blue: He didn't force me to kiss him! I forced HIM to kiss ME! / Mike: Uuuh... ee-whoops! / Blue: Ee-whoops, indeed, Asimov! / {{Part of the "Blue Madness" storyline}} | |
| [[Boys' Apartment]] / Blue: I'm serious about this, Mike. I don't know how we're gonna do it, but we have to find a way to make Dave forgive us. You can't be happy rooming with someone you hate so much... / Mike: Why bother? I have a lot of enemies. One more doesn't make any difference... / Blue: I don't mean YOU! Stop thinking about yourself for a little second there, Mike! / Mike: Well, when I was murdering him, I wasn't exactly thinking about myself, Blue. / Blue: We have to apologize, Mike. / Mike: Why should I? He's not gonna forgive me. I KNOW it! / Blue: Because if you don't, I'm gonna tell Mom about your stupid tentacle! / Mike: WHAT??? / {{Part of the "Blue Madness" storyline}} | |
| [[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: Would you believe it, Marsha? The little traitor! I kill all the harassing coyotes around her and this is the thanks I get. / Blue: Nobody asked you to kill anybody! / Marsha: Whatever. I'm off to see if Dave survived the trip to the hospital... / Mike: You see, that's why I don't even try to be good anymore. Everytime I do, everybody ends up hating me. What you're asking is impossible. / Blue: Mike, you can't fool ME. I know you. You always get what you want. So get this. / Mike: All right, all right. Just give me a month to think about it... / Blue: No, I want Dave and you to be friends before I leave. Four days. / Mike: Double damn! / {{Part of the "Blue Madness" storyline}} | |
| [[Boys' Apartment]] / Marsha: I finally convinced Dave not to press charges against you. He said he's only doing it because of me. / Mike: Wow, thank's Marsha. I... / Marsha: DON'T touch me, Mike. / Marsha: You're very, very mad at me, right? / Marsha: Of course I'm mad at you! Dave is in pain at the hospital with a broken hand and all you can think about is Blue telling your mom you have a tentacle. / Mike: Mmh. You don't know my mom, Marsha. / Marsha: No, but what's she gonna do to you, after all? / Mike: Well, first, she's gonna look at you and say you're a tramp, then she's gonna drag me home by my ear. Then she'll cut my hear with a scyth, and then I'll have to stand facing the corner for a month. / Marsha: That's ridiculous, Mike! Making your face the corner, Dennis the Meance style? C'mon! / Mike: Actually, it's more like Blair Witch style... / {{Part of the "Blue Madness" storyline}} | |
| [[Boys' Apartment]] / Roger; So... how's Dave? / April: Okay, I guess... he's staying for the night at the hospital, but he'll be home tomorrow. / Roger: I'm glad to hear it. Um, listen, April, about that, um, werecoyote incident... / Marsha, Margaret: Blue moooon, blue moon blue moon... Dipidipipip... bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom dang a lang lang a ding a dang ding...! Blue mooon.... / Roger: Oh yeah, I was saying... could that be our little secret? It's kinda embarassing for me... / April: Er...., oh, sure! / {{Part of the "Blue Madness" storyline}} | |
| [[Boys' Apartment]] / April: So, you'll be home in a few hours... how's the hand? / Dave: Better, I guess. It doesn't hurt as much as yesterday... / Marsha: Hey April, it's time for, you know... / April: Well, we're off to guard the door. / Dave: Guard the door? / Marsha: Yeah, we don't want you two kicked out of hospital early... try not to make a lot of noise... / Margaret: Yeah, we thought you needed something to cheer you up, so... / Dave: My God... what is she doing??? / {{Part of the "Blue Madness" storyline}} | |
| [[Hospital]] / Margaret: Ready? Tadaaa! / Dave: Uuuh... nice... / Margaret: What? Oh, wait. This naughty cat hid inside my shirt. / Dave: Chester??? Oh, gimme gimme gimme! / Margaret: I found it outside my window, shaking badly... / Margaret: I thought it was sick. Anyway, I fed it and let it sleep in the bed with me. Fortunately, today it seems to be fine again. / Dave: Oh, Margaret, you're really something. Thank you! Thank you. / Chester: purrrr / Margaret: Geez, I have cat hair all over me... I'm going to the bathroom to take it off, and... / Dave: I love you. / Dave: ...um, Chester. *sigh* / Margaret: Mh, yeah. I'll be right back. / Dave: Oh, but YOU... you slept in her bed? You hid inside her shirt? You are one incredibly LUCKY bastard! / {{Part of the "Blue Madness" storyline}} | |
| [[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: Roger, stop running like a torpedo everytime you have to go near me! I'm not gonna hurt you or anything, you know! / Roger: Yeah, right. / Mike: Why should I? You stopped me from making the most stupid mistake of my life! / Mike: You see, I'm actually grateful... Here, shake it. / Mike: Only a few inches closer... and I can thank you for slamming up against the wall, too! / Roger: I CAN'T believe he think's I'm buying THAT! / Roger: Oh, I'd be honored, but I'm late for my self-preservating class. / {{Part of the "Blue Madness" storyline}} | |
| [[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: Um, listen, Dave... / Dave: Go away, Mike. I don't want to hear your voice, EVER. / Mike: Even if I want to aplogize for being a homicidal psycho? / Dave: Why should I listen to you? You didn't when I was screaming in pain and gasping for breath. / Mike: But it was all a big misunderstanding! / Dave: I can understand that. But you never gave me a chance to defend myself. So go away. / Mike: Mmh, okay, I can see that you're mad now. I'll be back in ten minutes. / Dave: Just... just wait till I can turn my head again... / {{Part of the "Blue Madness" storyline}} | |
| [[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: Aw, c'mon, Dave! I already said I'm sorry... What else can I do? Get a time machine? / Dave: You could shut up and leave me alone! / Mike: Dave, I know you. You're not like this. It's easier for you to forgive than to hate me forever. / Dave: Not gonna happen. Get outta here! / Mike: C'mon. / Dave: No. / Mike: Please? / Dave: NO / Mike: C'MOOOOON! / Dave: NO! GO AWAY! / Mike: Whoa, looks like you're gonnna have a fit or something... I'll be, uh, back in ten minutes, again. / Dave: NNGRR!!! / Dave: Roger, be a good roommate and bring me a mirror. / Roger: Only if you promise you're not gonna use it to blast Mike with your laser vision. / Dave: Um, yeah, okay, I promise. / Roger: Or yourself. / Dave: Damn. / {{Part of the "Blue Madness" storyline}} | |
| [[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: Please, Dave, put yourself in my place. My parents divorced when I was 9, and I've watched Blue since then. She's grown up to be a beautiful woman, and... / Dave: Nice story. But, if I put myself in your place, I'd be dead by now, right? / Mike: You stupid idiot! Can't you see I'm TRYING here? Forgive me already before I rip out your tonsils and stuff them up your...! / Mike: ...sorry... / Dave: You really SUCK at this, Mike. / {{Part of the "Blue Madness" storyline}} | |
| [[Boys' Apartment]] / Dave; What's that noise? / Roger: Oh, that? That's Mike bumping his forehead against the wall. / Dave: What? / Roger: I said it's Mike bumping his head... / Dave: I HEARD it! But why? / Roger: Well, he said something about how everybody hates him and that he's ending it all. / Dave: Right. He's totally crazy if he thinks I'm falling for the old guilt trick. / Roger: Yeah, he's crazy. Everybody knows you can't headbang properly without heavy metal background music. / {{Part of the "Blue Madness" storyline}} | |
| [[Boys' Apartment]] / Blue: Dave, can I talk to you? / Dave: If I say no, will you go away? / Blue: Not really... / Dave: Why do you ask, then? / Blue: I'm really worried about Mike. I think he's gone completely crazy... / Dave: REALLY. / Blue: No, I mean for real. He's been bumping his forehead against the wall for HOURS! He's gonna hurt himself seriously, and... / Dave: He's trying to make me feel guilty, but I'm just the innocent bystander. Not my fault. / Blue: You're not gonna help me, right? / Dave: Why should I? You were the one who started the whole thing! / Blue: Like you never did anything stupid for being in love, Mr. Subliminal shirt. / Dave: Uuuh... I paid my dues for that, too... / {{Part of the "Blue Madness" storyline}} | |
| [[Boys' Apartment]] / Dave: Mike, stop this comedy. I know you're just trying to make me feel guilty enough to forigive you. / Mike: Oh, hah! Hahah! You got me this time, Dave. I guess I just can't fool you anymore. / Mike: Only it's not a comedy, it's a freakin' TV movie! Grab a chair! Make some popcorn! Enjoy the show! / Dave: You're CRAZY! / Mike: Oh, not crazy... just this awful, horrible person... *ugh!* who keeps on hurting everybody around, again and again and again, *UGH!* always... / Blue: Mike, STOP! I promise I won't tell mom about the tentacle! You're scaring me! / Mike: Blue, darling... why don't you play with your dollies? You don't need to see this... / Dave: All right! You win! I forgive you! Just STOP doing that! / Mike; What about Blue? / Dave: Yeah, I forgive her too! Happy? / Mike: I'm so happy I could die. / Dave: You know? Sometimes I really wish I was meaner. / {{Part of the "Blue Madness" storyline}} | |
| [[Boys' Apartment]] / Blue: Mike, that's the most stupid, crazy thing you've ever done. Don't you EVER scare me like that again! / Mike: Well, I don't understand YOU. Did Dvae forgive us or not? / Blue: Yeah, but next time I ask you something, please don't kill yourself over it. / Mike: Bah. You can't kill yourself banging your forehead against the wall. It hurts and you bleed alot, that's it. / Blue: So it WAS a comedy! / Mike: In a certain way. But I also was trying to make Dave understand that he's not cruel enough to play this game. I can live with his anger, he can't. / Mike: I suppose I really needed to get some things out of my system, too. Strangely, I fell better about myself now. / Blue: By the way, Mike... I wasn't going to tell Mom about your tentacle. Really. / Mike: Silly kid. I knew that all the time. / {{Part of the "Blue Madness" storyline}} | |
| [[Girls' Apartment]] / Blue: Girls? Anybody home? Door was open... / Blue: ??? / Sound: WHACK! / Blue: BWAAH! Mike! / Margaret: Whoops! Blind karate practice, SORREE! / {{Part of the "Blue Madness" storyline}} | |
| [[Girls' Apartment]] / Mike: Margaret! Did you just kick Blue in the face??? / Margaret: Yeah, I did... you have a problem with that? / Mike: Of COURSE I have a problem with that! I mean, a KICK in the FACE? What ever happened to good ol' catfights? / Margaret: Catfights are nasty and I didn't want to leave any marks on her little face. / Margaret: Besides, I wasn't even wearing any shoes. / Mike: Sheesh. Then it's okay, I guess. Here's that chunk of plastic explosive I promised you. / Margaret: Cool! Yellow! Hey, incidentally... Why did you ask me to do that, anyway? / Mike: Oh? Because we Green kids only learn things the hard way... / {{Part of the "Blue Madness" storyline}} | |
| [[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: She said it was an accident. Blind karate practice, see... / Blue: Mike, that's BULL! She did it on purpose! / Mike: And why would she? / Blue: Isn't it OBVIOUS? She's jealous because I kissed Dave! / Mike: A-ha! If you knew there's something between them, why did you hit on Dave in the first place? / Blue: I didn't! She told me she didn't care about him! / Mike: Well, people usually lie about these things, Blue. So please, next time you like a guy, don't jump on him right away! Take your time to check if it's safe to make your move. I'm not always going to be around to save you from psycho girlfriends. / Blue: Or maybe I need to start taking blind karate classes... / Mike: Maybe. Let's go get you some icecream for the inside of your mouth. / Blue: Ice cream??? I want tequila. / Mike: Oh, you want to wake up with a tentacle, too? / {{Part of the "Blue Madness" storyline}} | |
| [[Boys' Apartment]] / TV: I'm gonna hit ya... and you're gonna faaaaaalll... and I'm gonna look down... and I'm gonna laugh... / Dave: Oh, but she doesn't care about me at ALL, right? / Blue: Shut up. / {{Part of the "Blue Madness" storyline}} | |
| [[Boys' Apartment]] / Roger: Geez. We look like survivors of some nasty civil war. / Dave: Ain't we? / Blue: That's not funny, guys. I'm really sorry I only came here to ruin your lives. / Mike: Not true. We always have lots of weird problems here, with or without you. / Roger: Speaking of weird... if your last name is Green, how come your parents named you Blue? / Blue: My parents have an odd sense of humor. Right, Michael Redford Green? / Dave: Redord? "Red" Green? PFFFFFT!! / Mike: NOW you've ruined my life. / {{Part of the "Blue Madness" storyline}} | |
| [[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: Well, we're off to the station. Say goodbye to the lady, folks. / Roger: Bye, Blue. / Dave: Take care, Blue. / Blue: Bye... wait! My sweater! I think I left it in the bedroom... / Mike: I'll get it. Geez, you don't forget your head just because it's attached to your shoulders. / Roger: !!! / Mike: Anything else you're leaving behind? / Blue: Absolutely nothing. Bye, guys. / Dave: Bye. / Roger: That's so unfair! Why can't I be you? Huh??? / {{Part of the "Blue Madness" storyline}} | |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | Mike: Well, we're off to the station. Say goodbye to the lady, folks.
/ Roger: Bye, Blue.
/ Dave: Take care, Blue.
/ Blue: Bye... wait! My sweater! I think I left it in the bedroom... / Mike: I'll get it. Geez, you don't forget your head just because it's attached to your shoulders...
/ [[Blue smooches Dave soundly]] / Mike: Anything else you're leaving behind?
/ Blue [[tying the sweater around her waist]]: Absolutely nothing. Bye, guys.
/ Dave: Bye.
/ Roger: That's so unfair! Why can't I be you? Huh??? http://crfh.net/d/20000917.html |
| [[Girls' Apartment]] / April: C'mon. I don't want to go alone, because there's this bunch of jerks who always shout things at me... / Marsha: Mgh. NOW??? I'm not in the mood for jogging... / April: Mmh. Okay, then. I'll just go by myself while you sit here. I guess Mike prefers them fat an' proud, right? / Marsha: Er... / Marsha: Couldn't you change your route so you don't jog by the jerks? / April: Of course NOT! It's a matter of principle! I can't let them rule my life! / Marsha: Oh, I see you're in control. / April: Maybe I'll have to find myself a less chatty partner, eh? / {{Part of the "Running Gag" storyline}} | |
| [[Outside]] / April: Don't mind them. Pretend you don't hear them. Don't look behind. Don't look down. Don't... / Jerk: How much for a lap dance? / Jerk: Hey blondie! / Jerk: Pssst! / Marsha: Grrrr.... / Marsha: I heard your momma offers bulk discounts and accepts credit cards, you [CENSORED!] / Marsha: Well, you wanted to jog! And we're jogging! As FAST as a chicken out of hell!!! / April: And when I'm done with the jogging, I'm gonna start with KICKBOXING! / {{Part of the "Running Gag" storyline}} | |
| [[Outside]] / Marsha: *pant pant* We're doomed! They're still chasing us and I just can't keep on running! / April: No! We're saved! There's the park... We can vanish there! / Marsha: Gaaah! The park??? Not the park, please! Anything but the park! / April: Why not? / Marsha: Just TRUST ME on this one! / April: We don't have a lot of choices... / Marsha: This is all your fault. I could be on the couch developing fat instead of running away from some wackos in some stupid park. / April: Oh yeah? Like it's MY fault you have that trucker's vocabulary! / {{Part of the "Running Gag" storyline}} | |
| [[Outside]] / April: Why do you hate this park so much, anyway? / Marsha: Not just this park! ANY park! Wilderness is my enenmy! And you know why? / Marsha: Because of the stupid "SNOW WHITE SYNDROME!" / {{Part of the "Running Gag" storyline}} | |
| [[Outside]] / April: Pffft!!! / Marsha: Go ahead, laugh. Don't you realize it's incredibly annoying? / April: What, being harasssed by the nasty furry creatures of the woods? / Marsha: Not only them. Don't even make me think about the dwarves... and YOU! The sun is OVER THERE! / {{Part of the "Running Gag" storyline}} | |
| [[Outside]] / Jerk: There they are! / Jerk: GET THEM! / Marsha: Shoot. And on top of it all, this! / Bird: hssss!! / Squirrel: fizzz!! / Squirrel: fizzz!! / Marsha: Heh. Don't you think it's funny the squirrels went straight for the nuts? / April: Do you mean them, or their nuts? / Jerk: UAAAH! Get off meee!! / {{Part of the "Running Gag" storyline}} | |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | Offscreen Voice #1: There they are!
/ Offscreen Voice #2: GET THEM!
/ Marsha: Shoot. And on top of it all, this! / [[The birds and animals jump to the attack.]]
/ < http://crfh.net/d/20000924.html |
| [[Outside]] / Dave: Wow. It's been a week without anything freaky happening here. Now THAT's freaky. / Roger: I can freak you out if you want, for a very reasonable price. / Dave: You're a professional freak now??? / Roger: Hey, no one has MY talent for that... / {{Part of the "COTC meets CRFH" storyline}} | |
| [[Laundromat]] / April: You just put on your coat and hat - and walk yourself to the laundromat - and when you finish doin' that - bring in the dog and put out the cat! / April: Hey! Speaking of cats... sleeping in the basket again? Last time I almost threw you in with the laundry! / April: What? Do you see something green? / Chester: MROOOW! / Zombie: Hey baby! Do you have change for a buck? / {{Part of the "COTC meets CRFH" storyline}} | |
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