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[[Bayside]] / Mike: April! What are you doing here??? / April: I was gonna ask the same, but I see you're here to make the sequel to your porn flick! / Mike: Look who's talking, Miss Manga Schoolgirl! / April: Well, that wallet thing was such a transparent lie, I just HAD to follow you guys! / Mike: You FOLLOWED me? What the hell were you thinking? Okay, now, do you know where Roger is? / April: No, I lost him before I got caught. / Mike: That means he's still around! Now the only thing left is wait to see if he can help us escape someway... / Jimmy: Kids! Here's the script. Read it fast, we start rolling in five minutes! / April, Mike: AAAAIGHH! / {{Part of the "We're gonna do WHAT???" storyline}} |
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[[Bayside]] / Mike: What do you suppose "strangling the wallaby" means? / April: I hope it's just a snowboarding move. / Mike: How about "giving the tentacle"? / April: I really, really REALLY don't want to know. / Roger: There's Mike! / Roger: How do I get him outta this one? Oh, I know! I burst into the room and show them some really funky moves! They'll be so terrified they'll just JUMP outta the windows! / Roger: Naaw. Last time I did that, they just laughed. I better call the FBI, instead... / {{Part of the "We're gonna do WHAT???" storyline}} |
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[[Bayside]] / Jimmy: So kids, you ready or what? / April: (Mike, do something!) / Mike: (But he's pointing his finger at me! What if it's loaded?) / Mike: Oh yeah, we're readdy... / Mike: to run so fast you hopefully won't have time ot react! Good-bye! / Jimmy: What the...? / Guy: Jimmy! The Feds are here! Run! / Jimmy: Oh. That. / {{Part of the "We're gonna do WHAT???" storyline}} |
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[[Apartment Hall]] / Mike: *sigh* After that ordeal, it's good to be home... / April: Why did you tell the Feds there was a CULT hiding in the building? / April: And why did they burn down the place? / Roger: They told me the press was gonna say they did it, anyway... / Margaret: I'm sure this means something, but I'm afraid to think about it. / {{Part of the "We're gonna do WHAT???" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: We leave TWO days and you burn down the apartment? WHAT HAPPENED? / Mike: Wellllllll??? / Dave: It was my fault... / Mike: I KNEW it! I knew it, you PLAGUE of EGYPT! / Margaret: Yeah, it's his fault for wearing flammable things over his head! / Marsha: Margaret!!! / {{Part of the "We're gonna do WHAT???" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Roger: HELLO FOLKS, I KNOW WE'VE NEVER BROKEN THE FOURTH WALL... / Roger: BUT TODAY WE WILL, JUST TO SHOW HOW MUCH WE LOVE YOU! / Mike: WHAT'S WITH ROGER? / Dave: I'M NOT SURE, BUT HE'S BEEN THIS WAY ALL DAY / Roger: ESPECIALLY YOU MONKEYS WITH THE FUNNY HATS! / Dave: I THINK IT MAY HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH THOSE BLUE MUSHROOMS HE HAD IN HIS OMLETTE THIS MORNING / Roger: AND ALL THE MAGICAL GNOMES LIVING OUT IN INVISIBLE LAND! / {{Part of the "Mushroomies from Hell" storyline}} |
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[[Girls' Apartment]] / April: My trip was a living nightmare! I was punched, kicked, burnt, and recruited for a porno flick. Oh, and a big chunk of ice almost hit me, too. / Marsha: Yeah, and we were trapped in a fire, too. / Margaret: I'd say there's an air of conspiracy about this all. Like some kind of EVIL mind is steering our destiny. Like our lives are some kind of bad joke or something. / April: Oooooh no! No more coffee for you! First you start with the conspiracy stuff and then you start placing bombs activated by movement detectors! / Margaret: Fill 'er up! Fill 'er up or read my shirt! / {{Part of the "Mushroomies from Hell" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: What's the matter with you? Snap out of it, already! / Roger: I can't take it anymore, Mike! They are watching us all the time! / Roger: Can't you see them??? The guy on the white shirt... that girl... / Mike: Aaah, oh yeah I see them... and the blonde kid... / Roger: And that stange creature with the blue hair... / Mike: Sorry to break the delusion, but... / Mike: That's just a Simpsons poster! Man, you're SERIOUSLY messed up! / Roger: Oh, sure, that's what THEY want you to think! / {{Part of the "Mushroomies from Hell" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Dave: I think these are the mushrooms he used for his omellette. / Mike: Well, they look like regular mushrooms, except they're blue. / Mike: And of course, they smell kinda funny, and if you look closely, you can see some little doors and windows in them. / Mike: And I think I'm getting really stoned just by touching them... / Dave: Whoa Mike! Did you hear that??? That bug SNEEZED! / {{Part of the "Mushroomies from Hell" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Dave: WhoA... I'm feeling REALLY weird! / Mike: I'd describe it as a mix between bulimia and a desire to crawl up the wall. / Roger: Gramma? Gramma, why are your teeth so big? / Dave: Ah-heheheh... Check out the elf with the sloppy hat... / Mike: My... God. What's that horrible thing? / Roger: GRA-MMA! GRA-MMA! / Dave: Bless you, little bug. / Mike: Oh DAMN! It's my nose!!! / Roger: Please tell me your bra size is not hereditary, gramma! / {{Part of the "Mushroomies from Hell" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Margaret: Hey there Roger. Is Mike home? / Roger: What's the password, peasant? / Margaret: How about "Let me in, you dork face"? / Roger: The peasant knew the password, oh Hooded One. / Mike: I told you it was too easy... We need a new password. / Roger: How about "I don't know"? / Mike: I need smarter subordinates, too... / Margaret: You guys overdose on RPGs again??? / {{Part of the "Mushroomies from Hell" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: Our paths meet again, peasant, in accordance with prophecy... / Margaret: What's the matte with you guys? You're acting really strange... / Mike: Well, we live in pretty strange times, haven't you noticed? / Margaret: Exactly! My roommates say I'm crazy, but I know there's something wrong going on here! How did you know??? / Mike: I know everything, deary. I'm the Hooded One. The Owner of absolute Truth. / Mike: Roger, bring up the Mighty Potion of Knowledge. / Roger: One slump or two, gypsy? / Margaret: NOW you're speaking wisely! None, and make it a double! / {{Part of the "Mushroomies from Hell" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: It's up to you now. Take the plain mushroom and you will grow taller. Take the blue mushroom, and you will know the truth. But I must warn you, there's no turning back... / Margaret: A blue mushroom? I've never seen one of those! Lemme have a look! / Margaret: I think I'll have the plain mushroom. I could never eat a mushroom with a live smurf inside. / Mike: I didn't say you'd have to eat it... / Roger: Tee-heeeee! The Hooded One screwed it up! I'm gonna tell EVERYBODY! / {{Part of the "Mushroomies from Hell" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Margaret: Hey! What happened to this place? What happened to my clothes? Is this a dream? / Mike: Everything you know is wrong, Princess. This is the only true reality... / Margaret: Princess??? / Mike: As the only heir to the throne you have many enemies. They summoned the forces of evil and managed to cast a spell on you. Now they control your destiny. You must stop them or they will lead the kingdom to its own destruction. / Margaret: WHAT?? Well, just tell me who and where they are and I'll kick them into next week! / Mike: It's a very dangerous mission. You must not do this alone. / Mike: But all the great warriors were busy at this time. And so, these two will help you through your journey. The village idiot, I mean, archer, and the King's buffoon. / Roger: I'm no archer! Read my resume, I'm a certified catapult operator! / Dave: Tell me if you already heard this one!: A tough guy and a space monkey are sitting in a bar, and... / Margaret: Just GREAT! / {{Part of the "Mushroomies from Hell" storyline}} |
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[[Girls' Apartment]] / Marsha: Margaret? Where are you going? / Margaret: I'll tell you where I'm going... I'm gonna get my destiny BACK!!! / Marsha: EVERYTIME she says that, I feel like leaving the country. / April: Heh. Remember when we thought it was just a phase? / {{Part of the "Mushroomies from Hell" storyline}} |
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[[Apartment Hall]] / Margaret: Okay, I'm ready! So, where do we go now? / Roger: It's a good thing you brought a sword, because I forgot my catapult at home... / Dave: Well, I'm supposed to be your guide... but first, you have to answer a riddle! / Margaret: a WHAT? / Dave: A riddle! Complete the quote: "In a war, it doesn't matter who's right. It only matters who's..."? / Roger: "LEFT!" Man, that is funny and it makes you think, too! You're damn good! / Dave: Yeah, I'm so funny I kill me... / {{Part of the "Mushroomies from Hell" storyline}} |
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[[Apartment Hall]] / Margaret: Another dead end! You don't know where we are, do you? / Dave: Nononono, I know this place as the back of my neck... / Roger: Yes, but it was "left-left-right" after we passed the Oracle chamber. / Margaret: There's an ORACLE? Why don't we ask it the right directions? / Dave: Look, if for a tiny little fraction of a nanosecond there was just an itty bitty probability we were lost... / Roger: Lost? We? HAH! / Margaret: Too bad. I also was gonna ask if my sword is sharp enough. Now I'll have to test it myself. / Roger: Dave, I think we better get lost now... / {{Part of the "Mushroomies from Hell" storyline}} |
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[[Apartment Hall]] / Margaret: Oh mighty Oracle! Shall you help us in our journey? Where will we find the forces of evil? / Margaret: Sorry, I just can't do this. I feel ridiculous. / Dave: Perhaps you should try asking the question in the form of an answer? / Roger: The oracle says if you give it a hump massage it'll think about it. / {{Part of the "Mushroomies from Hell" storyline}} |
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[[Girls' Apartment]] / Marsha: I can't believe it! Margaret is out there with a gun and a caffeine overdose, and you gonna do NOTHING about it??? / April: That's right, and there's NO WAY you're gonna convince me. / April: If I learned something last week, was to mind my own business! From now on, I'll help people only if they ASK me to! / Marsha: A-HAH! So now, if I ask you to help me help Margaret, you'd have to swallow your words, huh? / April: AAARGH! I shoulda seen THAT coming! / {{Part of the "Mushroomies from Hell" storyline}} |
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[[Apartment Hall]] / Roger: The oracle says it's waiting for its hump massage. / Margaret: Ain't giving no hump massage to any freakin' rock. / Roger: The oracle says you better. / Margaret: Geez! I can't even see where I'm going! / Roger: The oracle says: "I told you..." / April: Can I ask where the hell do you think you're going with that weapon, Margaret? / {{Part of the "Mushroomies from Hell" storyline}} |
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[[Apartment Hall]] / Margaret: What on earth is THAT? Is it a dragon? Why is it trying to stop me? / Roger: The oracle talk till it gets its hump massage. / Dave: Regular dragons like riddles! So fear not, my fair lady, I'll handle this one! / Dave: Two-headed beast! Gimme your best shot. If I solve your riddle you have to let us go on our way... / Marsha: Dave? You're talking crazy, too? Oh my gosh! / April: What did you sniff? Marsha, we're outnumbered by the nuts here!!! / Dave: Okay, I have to admit it. I don't have a clue on what they're talking about... / Margaret: I'm running out of patience here! I'll slove things MY way, then! / Marsha: NOOOOOOO! / {{Part of the "Mushroomies from Hell" storyline}} |
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[[Apartment Hall]] / Margaret: HAH! I've never seen a dragon run that fast! / Roger: I was gonna say you've never seen a dragon, but those kind of comments are pointless and too often, painful... / Dave: Well, the oracle has got its hump massage. Where should we go now? / Roger: The oracle says we have to go down and face the horrors of the underworld, but it'll be our guide if you give it a neck massage. / Dave: WHAT?? That's ridiculous! A rock doesn't have a neck! / Margaret: Oh, don't worry Dave! I have a power drill! We can give the little rock a neck RIGHT NOW! / Roger: The oracle says there's no need to get erosive, and it will settle for the hump massage. / {{Part of the "Mushroomies from Hell" storyline}} |
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[[Apartment Hall]] / Margaret: So this is the underworld. Fire and darkenss! Yeaaaaah! / Dave: It's not as spooky as I thought. / Roger: Yeah, I think they even have air conditioning down here... / Roger: Here we are, Princess. The Hall of Hell. / Margaret: It's one hell of a hall, too! There must be a thousand doors here! / Roger: It doesn't matter. The oracle will lead us to the right door. / Roger: This is it. The Forces of Evil are behind this door. / Margaret: Sure? I don't want to knock down someone else's door... / Dave: Couldn't we try something more diplomatic? I heard the Forces of Evil are not very nice... / {{Part of the "Mushroomies from Hell" storyline}} |
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[[Steve and Waldo's Apartment]] / Door: SLAM! / Margaret: Alright, Forces of Evil! This is it! / Steve: Hey, do you mind??? We're in the middle of worshipping here! Sheesh! / Waldo: If we are going to be invocating entities like HER, count me out of this, Steve! / Margaret: Gimme back my destiny or I'm gonna redecorate this place with RED! / Roger: Whoa! What happened? What are we doing here? / Dave: I don't know, but Margaret with a shotgun and a "DIE!" shirt is NOT a good sign! / {{Part of the "Mushroomies from Hell" storyline}} |
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[[Steve and Waldo's Apartment]] / Margaret: The Hooded One told me you dorks stole my destiny and I'm gonna find it! / Steve: WHAT??? What are you babbling about? And who's gonna clean the mess? / Waldo: Yeah! Satan is supposed to be here in five minutes... / Margaret: A-HAAA!!! Voodoo doll! And it looks like me! / Steve: Aaw, that's not you! That's supposed to be Howard Stern! / Waldo: Hey, you told me it was Pauly Shore! / {{Part of the "Mushroomies from Hell" storyline}} |
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[[Steve and Waldo's Apartment]] / Margaret: My, you keep a buncha useless junk here! A yo-yo, spam, Marvel Bra, stuffed dog... / Roger: Pepe???!!! / Roger: Pepe, is it really you? I thought I'd never see you again! / Waldo: Pepe? It's name is Yog-Sothoth! / Roger: Course NOT! It's Pepe and it's my pet coyote! / Waldo: It's mine now! My little sister gave it to me! / Roger: Oh yeah? I'll fight you for it! Pick your weapon! / Waldo: Fine! Patriot missile, then! / Roger; FINE! Yard O' Beef, then! / Dave: Uh, guys? Can we leave? I think we're not welcome here... / {{Part of the "Mushroomies from Hell" storyline}} |
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[[Steve and Waldo's Apartment]] / Roger: Could you hold Pepe while I kick this guy's butt? Blood stains are too hard to clean, and ask no questions about how do I know that... / Dave: Just in case you didn't notice, my hands are too busy staying up. / Dave: Oh. I should have seen THAT one coming... / Steve: Hello??? I have a gun here! So how come no one is listening to me? / Margaret: Because it's not loaded, you deviled-egg worshipper! Besides, I still haven't found what I'm looking for! / Steve: And what's EXACTLY that you're looking for, huh??? / Waldo: @#! / Sound: CRASH! / Roger: Take that, Mr. Cat for a Hat! / Waldo: Sweet baby Cthulhu! / Margaret: Damn! I keep forgetting... What are we doing here, anyway? / Dave: Kicking butt, making a mess and wearing silly things on our heads? / Steve: Hey! These horns are high quality fiberglass! It doesn't get any classier than this! / {{Part of the "Mushroomies from Hell" storyline}} |
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[[Steve and Waldo's Apartment]] / Dave: Aren't we gonna stop them or something? / Roger: Take that, you coyote-napper! / Steve: Shut up! I bet $20 on the goofy-looking one! / Waldo: You're starting to get me mad, you pathetic Dilbert-wannabe! / Waldo: Hoooha! Look who's here! Just in time, too! Now you're gonna see, pal... / Roger: ??? / Dave: Uh oh... / Margaret: Ee-yikes! / {{Part of the "Mushroomies from Hell" storyline}} |
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[[Steve and Waldo's Apartment]] / Dave: PLEASE tell me that's not Satan... / Margaret: Well, it's either Satan or a cloaked Gary Larson cow with some really big horns... / Roger: Narf! Of COURSE it's Satan! He came out of the fridge! / Satan: I have come for the soul of the one with the sacrifice on the head... YOU! / Dave: WHAT??? I don't have a sacrifice on my head! / Waldo: I'm the one with the sacrifice! Shoot! Where's my darn cat? / {{Part of the "Mushroomies from Hell" storyline}} |
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[[Steve and Waldo's Apartment]] / Dave: Why do you want my soul? I didn't summon you! And this is just a stuffed toy! / Satan: Because I'm not a nice guy? / Dave: I don't believe it! It's IMPOSSIBLE! How can you take my soul against my will? / Satan: Like thisoh. He doesn't look good... / {{Part of the "Mushroomies from Hell" storyline}} |
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