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[[Classroom]] / Margaret: That was not a test. That was a MASSACRE! I still don't understand how we were supposed to solve that problem, but... / Margaret: ! / April: Lemme guess. The solution just popped into your head, right? / Marsha: Lemme guess. It was painfully obvious, right? / Margaret: That's it. I'm dropping college and becoming a topless dancer. / {{Part of the "Who Needs Cthulhu...?" storyline}}
[[Classroom]] / Mike: I can't believe we ALL failed the calculus test but Roger! It's absurd! / Dave: Just thinking about it makes me want to bite the head off a live bat... / Roger: You're jealous because I have a very consistent study technique... / Mike: CONSISTENT??? You slept through the whole test!! / Roger: That's consistent, indeed... I slept through all the courses, too! / Dave: Bite the head off a live rhino... / {{Part of the "Who Needs Cthulhu...?" storyline}}
[[Girls' Apartment]] / Margaret: Wait. Is that a VCR? / April: Yeah, it was my birthday present from Mom and Dad. They don't know I don't have a TV... / Margaret: But we DO have a TV! / April: They guys next door have it now, remember? / Margaret: HAHAHAHA! That's a good one! Back in a minute, I'll go get it. / April: Try not to make a bloodbath this time, Margaret. / Marsha: I didn't know it was your birthday! Congratulations! Say, can we rent 'Titanic'? / April: Nooooope. / {{Part of the "We did WHAT???" storyline}}
[[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: Wow. I knew something like this would happen sooner or later, and now I'm too numb to react. / {{Part of the "We did WHAT???" storyline}}
[[Apartment Hall]] / Mike: Hey, what gives? Do you think you can just walk into my place, take the T.V. and walk away? / Margaret: Of course, if it's MY T.V.! / Mike: Not technically! You threw it away! / Margaret: Aaw, stop whining. I'm only gonna use it for a couple of days or so... / Door: SLAM! / Mike: But you'll have to take the remote away from my COLD DEAD FINGERS!!! / {{Part of the "We did WHAT???" storyline}}
 
[[Video Store]] / Margaret: I can't believe we're renting the movie we participated in against our will... / April: Okay, so it was like a candid camera. No big deal. I still want to see if they got my good angle... / Marsha: It's hard to look good when you're screaming in terror! / April: Hi. We want to rent a movie, but we don't know the title. These guys act in it... can you help? / Guy: Oh yeah, I htink I know which one is that. Back in a sec. / Margaret: Can we pay and go home, please? / April: Yeah... hey! He gave me two Movie... this IS the one we were looking for... but which one is the other? / April: Now THIS was unexpected. / Marsha: NNNGG!!! / Margaret: COOL!!! / {{Part of the "We did WHAT???" storyline}}
[[Girls' Apartment]] / Dave: Lately I have this weird feeling... something's gonna happen, and I think we're not gonna like it very much... / Mike: Sheesh, Dave. I hereby declare you Master of Paranoia, and... / Marsha: *uncontrolable giggle* / April: *snicker* / Margaret: Heh! / Dave: And there goes the paranoia theory. / Mike: I'd rather not speculate about it, okay? / Roger: My spider sense is tingling! I think we should leave the country! / {{Part of the "We did WHAT???" storyline}}
[[Boys' Apartment]] / Dave: They're up to something, Mike. Why don't you ask Marsha? / Mike: Because I don't want to know. / Dave: But it could be important! / Mike: I don't care. / Dave: C'mon Mike. Do it for the common good. / Mike: I don't believe in the common good. / Roger: But when are we gonna have our TV back? / Mike: Okay, you got me there. / {{Part of the "We did WHAT???" storyline}}
[[Apartment Hall]] / Mike: Say, is Marsha home? / April: Pfffft!!! Sorry! I mean, sure, she's in the shower... / Mike: Hey, what's so funny? / April: What? Oh, nothing. At least, nothing related to you, of course... / April: UAH-HAAAAA-HAHAHA-HA-HA!!! / Mike: You really need to work on your poker face, April. / {{Part of the "We did WHAT???" storyline}}
[[Girls' Apartment]] / Mike: So you're NOT gonna tell me? / Marsha: I wish I could, but it's a secret! / Mike: Okay, now I'm angry. You told me there were no secrets between us. / Mike: E-heeheehee! Stop that! It's not gonna work this time! HEEE-HEEE-HEEE!!! / Marsha: Oh, it's not? It's not? / Mike: Oh shoot. Now I've forgotten what I came here for... / Marsha: You mean you need a motive? Shame on you! / {{Part of the "We did WHAT???" storyline}}
 
[[Boys' Apartment]] / Dave: So she didn't tell you? / Mike: No. If only we could sneak in and browse their stuff... / Dave: Mike, last time you did that, Marsha stabbed you. / Mike: Precisely. I need someone gullible enough to take that risk. / Roger: I charge $10,000 per infiltration. / Mike: Two bucks and a second-hand lollipop. / Roger: Strawberry? / Mike: Grape. / Roger: Mmh. Deal. Now, will you give me a hand with the damn harness? / {{Part of the "We did WHAT???" storyline}}
[[Girls' Apartment]] / Mike: Okay, here's the plan. You sneak in and take a look around. Marsha had this suspicious attitude towards the TV so maybe you can find a clue there... / Roger: I'm having second thoughts about this... what if they catch me? / Mike: Aaaw, don't be such a cry-baby! They're just girls! I'd do it myself, but you're the guy with the eye in the hand... / Roger: You're right. I'm the man for the job! Be right back. / Dave: Now you're REALLY going to hell, Mike. / Mike: Just in case you didn't notice, I AM in hell!!! / {{Part of the "We did WHAT???" storyline}}
[[Girls' Apartment]] / Roger: Would you mind if I made a hole in your floor to spy on the girls living below? / Guy: As long as you don't make it on my way to the fridge... / Roger: dum-dum, dum dum... / Roger: dum-dum dum dum... / Roger: The T.V. looks just fine, but hey, what do we have HERE? / RogerRoger: Cool! Are we gonna watch a porno movie? / Marsha: It's SO porno! But that's not all! / April: You rewind it, I'll close the door so the neighbors can't hear the screaming! / {{Part of the "We did WHAT???" storyline}}
College Roomies From Hell Archives [[Roger is suspended from the ceiling by a harness]] / Margaret: Well, since Roger went through a whole lot of work to get to the truth, let's show him the truth! / Roger: Cool! Are we gonna watch a porno movie? / Marsha: It's SO porno! But that's not all! / April [[wearing an Elf Life t-shirt]]: You rewind it, I'll close the door so the neighbors can't hear the screaming.
http://crfh.net/d/20000207.html
[[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: Well, did you find out something, or what? / Roger: I shall NOT speak... about the unspeakable horrors I've seen! / Mike: Well, give me back my two bucks and my lollipop, then! / Roger: I can't. I ate them. / Mike: You ATE two bucks???Roger: Apparently we were SERIOUSLY into crossdressing too... / Mike: We did WHAT??? / Dave: KLUNK! / Roger: And before you decide to shoot the messenger, I'm off to get a dozen burgers. / {{Part of the "We did WHAT???" storyline}}
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives Mike: We did what? / Roger: We, um, took part in a porno flick while we were drunk out of our mind. / Mike: We did what? / Roger: Apparently we were SERIOUSLY into crossdressing, too... / Mike: We did WHAT??? / [[Dave faints]] <> / Roger: And before you decide to shoot the messenger, I'm off to get a dozen burgers.
http://crfh.net/d/20000209.html
[[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: Look, I may be crazy, but I know I'd never act in a porno flick... / Dave: Are you SURE it's us? / Roger: Well, it's either us, or our evil twins... / Mike: But that makes no sense! If I had a twin, I'd be the evil one. / Dave: Instead of all this babbling we should be running for the hills with paper bags over heads. / Roger: Why don't you watch the movie just to be sure? / Mike: You knock the door! It was YOUR idea! / Roger: I can't! I can't look them in the eyes! / Mike: Well, who told you to have such good ideas? Knock on the door! / Dave: I like my idea better. / {{Part of the "We did WHAT???" storyline}}
[[Girls' Apartment]] / Dave: Are you sure you wanna do this? / Mike: Do we have another choice? / Roger: Not fair! Why do I have to watch it again? / Mike: Because I'm evil. Hit the play button... / Mike: Would you mind leaving us alone with our pain and humiliation, PLEASE? / April: Aaaw. We already watched it! / Margaret: C'mon. Like it was the first time you screw it up... / Marsha: Besides, we can help you with a critique of your performance! / {{Part of the "We did WHAT???" storyline}}
[[Girls' Apartment]] / Mike: Who or what the hell is that??? / Dave: I think it's, um, you. / Mike: Me? No way! It's you! / Dave: NONONONO, that's you... / Mike: You! / Mike: Eee-yep. That's me. / Dave: AND me. / Roger: When do we eat? / {{Part of the "We did WHAT???" storyline}}
[[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: Ouch. Look at that. You know, I'm just realizing I really miss my left arm. / Dave: That... is.. NOT... your... left... arm. / Mike: Geez! What the HELL did we drink??? / DavApril: Give us a break, Mike... we didn't know you didn't know... we just thought it was your ugly little secret, a frat initiation or something... We're sorry. If you need any help, anything we can do... / Mike: Do you mean it? / April: Of course! / Mike: Do me a favor, then. Don't return the movie yet... I have some thinking to do... / April: Got it. / April: You're watching it AGAIN?? / Margaret: Of course! It's too darn fun! / Marsha: Pass the popcorn. / {{Part of the "We did WHAT???" storyline}}
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives Mike: Thanks for the movie. Now we're off to our place to discuss various sucicide strategies... / Margaret: Hey you porno twits! Next time rewind it, wiil ya??? / April: Excellent timing, Margaret. / Marsha: Shhhh!
http://crfh.net/d/20000216.html
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives April: Mike! Hey, Mike! / Mike: What? You still not through laughing at us? / April: Give us a break, Mike... We didn't know you didn't know... we just thougt it was your ugly little secret, a frat initiation or something... We're sorry. If you need any help, anything we can do... / Mike: Do you mean it? / April: Of course! / Mike: Do me a favor, then. Don't return the movie yet... I have some thinking to do... / April: Got it. / April: You're watching it AGAIN?? / Margaret: Of course! It's too darn fun! / Marsha: Pass the popcorn.
http://crfh.net/d/20000217.html
[[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: Now, let me think... we can rent every copy of that movie and get rid of it... / Roger: Right, so then they just buy a few more. No go, Mike. / Dave: "We"? That's a lotta people, you know... / Dave: Mike, I've had it with you and your crazy schemes! They never work and we always find ourselves regretting we ever listened to you! So man, don't count on me for this one. / Mike: Well, no one is including you, "Mr. Sack" / Dave: If someone needs me I'll be running for the hills. / Roger: Like we'd go anywhere with you anyway. / {{Part of the "We did WHAT???" storyline}}
[[Girls' Apartment]] / Mike: Rats! If we only knew where that flick was produced... / Roger: Oh, but I know. I remember a lot of it. / Mike: You KNOW? Why didn't you say so before? / Roger: I thought it was a crazy dream. It's kinda blurry, but I'm almost sure it's a town called Bayside... / Mike: Really??? There's gonna be a national conference at Bayside in the next few days! Let's go sign us in! / Roger: Mike, the applications were two months ago... / Mike: Hah! Watch me closely and see if I care! / {{Part of the "We did WHAT???" storyline}}
[[NAFTA Registration]] / Mike: Hi! My name is Mike. I want to go to the NAFTA conference, please. / Woman: You can't. You are two months late... / Mike: I can't??? You know, I'm SO SICK of being discriminated against because of my tentacle... / Woman: What? I didn't even know you were one of them tentacled people! / Mike: I prefer the term 'Zoomorphic limbed" if you don't mind. / Woman: It's nothing personal... I... / Mike: Perhaps I should forget about my dream of winning a Nobel and instead become a drug dealer and die in a drive-by-shooting at 27... / Woman: All right, already! You're going to NAFTA! Happy? / Mike: Muhahaha! Yessssss! / Roger: Hi. My name is Roger, and I have an eye in my hand. / Woman: My God, I HATE this job. / {{Part of the "JA/LAB/CRFH Crossover" storyline}}
 
[[Bus]] / Mike: This is perfect! Not only we are traveling for free, we are also not officially here! And in a town full of College Students from all over the country,no one is gonna notice if we do something illegal or not! / Roger: Too perfect. That's almost unnerving, and... / Roger: Um, never mind. / April: So, going to NAFTA, too? Cool! / Mike: I was gonna add, no one on the bus knows us... / Roger: I know. / {{Part of the "JA/LAB/CRFH Crossover" storyline}}
[[Bus]] / Roger: Say Mike, can I have the window seat? / Mike: Give me two good reasons, Roger... / Roger: Well, first, beacause you're a nice guy. Second, because I have a tendency to barf during bus trips. / Mike: Hey April, I'm such a nice guy, I'm letting you have this wonderful seat! What do you say? / April: Why, Mike, sure! In a million years, after the sun implodes... / {{Part of the "JA/LAB/CRFH Crossover" storyline}}
[[Bus]] / Roger: And when you look at the majesty of the world, you realize how small and unimportant we are. What is mankind? Nothing but fragile naked flesh, forever banned from Paradise... / Roger: You're not paying any attention to the insightful comment contest, are you? / Mike: What? Oh, sure. Mmmmh. A horse is a horse, of course of course. / Roger: Wow, you're damn good... / {{Part of the "JA/LAB/CRFH Crossover" storyline}}
[[Bus]] / Roger: Could you stop for a sec? I REALLY need to go... / Driver: Sorry. You'll have to wait till the next rest stop. / Roger: Is it far? / Driver: About 50 miles. / Roger: You don't understand. I... I... / Roger: I'm gonna start peeing in 30 seconds and it's up to you! Either I do it within the privacy of a nice bush, or in front of EVERYBODY! / Roger: In retrospect, I guess it WAS kinda embarassing... / Mike: I don't think we've been properly introduced. / {{Part of the "JA/LAB/CRFH Crossover" storyline}}
[[Bayside]] / Mike: So this is Bayside. Somehow I thought it was bigger. / April: Uh oh. Small town and big conferences don't mix. I hope there's still room for us in a hotel... / Roger: Aww, so what? We could camp and sleep under the stars! You can't say you're alive until you've done it! / April: Did you say "until" or "after"? / Mike: Oh yeah, mysterious big chunks of ice fall on this zone pretty often, I've heard... / Roger: Or we could get a nice bunker... / {{Part of the "JA/LAB/CRFH Crossover" storyline}}
 

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