|
[[Apartment Building]] / Dave: What is it exactly that you have in mind? I don't get it... / Margaret: It's simple, comrade! We go to my place, get my stuff, and then we're ready to kick some butt! / Dave: Your place? But that's a contaminated area! / Margaret: Oh, damn! That's true! Well, let me think... / Margaret: Oh yeah! I think I GOT it! / Margaret: We'll use the gas masks to enter the contaminated area! I don't keep them at my place... / Margaret: Because I forgot them at YOUR place, Muppet Zone. / Dave: I still think it would be easier to get a cozy bunker for two, and spend some years trying to repopulate Earth. / {{Part of the "CRFHeck" storyline}} |
|
[[Boys' Apartment]] / Dave: You want me to go in THERE? / Margaret: Yeah, I need you to distract your roommates while I look for the gas masks. / Dave: Um, I don't know. I'm no good at creating diversions, see, and... / Margaret: I know, but I thought you'd be embarassed if you did the less dangerous job. / Dave: There's just NO WAY to win with you, right? / Margaret: Wow, Dave. You learn faster than I thought. / {{Part of the "CRFHeck" storyline}} |
|
[[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike, Roger: GROUP HUG! GROUP HUG! / Dave: This is like, the MOTHER of all NIGHTMARES! / Margaret: Run, Forrest, run! / {{Part of the "CRFHeck" storyline}} |
|
[[Girls' Apartment]] / Dave: "Run, Forrest, run"? I think you were having a little bit too much fun in there... / Margaret: I'm sorry, I couldn't help it! You looked so cute running from the two carebears... / Dave: Don't say "CUTE"! / Margaret: Whatever. Have your gas mask. / Dave: I feel strangely attacted to the dark side. / Margaret: Step #1: Get our own operation center. We need to figure a way to get my roommates out of my place. / Dave: Bait? / Margaret: Oh, I know exactly what to use in this case... / Margaret: Psst! Hey! Lookee here, it's a BUNNY! / Marsha: CUUUUTE!!! / Arrow: hand-made bun-bun plush doll / Margaret: Lots of bunnies out there, girls! Go get 'em! Yay! / April, Marsha: YAY!!! / Margaret: Now that's taken care of, we can proceed to step #2: Name Your Enemy. / Dave: Please tell me we're NOT gonna call it "the 2QT Bug" / {{Part of the "CRFHeck" storyline}} |
|
[[Girls' Apartment]] / Margaret: Dave, what on Earth are you doing??? / Dave: I think the air is safe, as long as we don't get too close to the cute people. Don't worry. / Margaret: Cool. I'm not worried. / Dave: Okay, okay. No need to get defensive... / Margaret: I'm not being defensive! / Dave: Now you're yelling. / Margaret: I am NOT YELLING!!! / Dave: Your brain works on inverse psychology, right? / {{Part of the "CRFHeck" storyline}} |
| |
|
[[Girls' Apartment]] / Dave: Grenades??? / Margaret: Here, put them in your backpack... / Dave: I'm NOT gonna carry them! / Margaret: Okay, carry the greande laucher, then... / Dave: Did you say grenade laucher? / Margaret: I made it myself, but I think the trigger is a little loose, so watch out. / Dave: I refuse to carry that thing, too! / Dave: I was gonna say she's nuts, but who's in love with her? / Margaret: mmh, then how about the Patriot missile? / {{Part of the "CRFHeck" storyline}} |
|
[[Girls' Apartment]] / Dave: You are SO salivating over your weapons. / Margaret: Aaw, they don't rust or anything... / Dave: That's not my main worry. / Dave: I don't get it! I mean, how can you LOVE those things so much? They were designed to KILL PEOPLE! / Margaret: Sheesh, Dave! Guns don't kill people, people kill people. / Dave: Oh, I'm sorry, you're right. I guess we should start banning people, then. / Margaret: That's the whole point! Oh, wait a sec. Do I detect a little bit of sarcasm, there? / {{Part of the "CRFHeck" storyline}} |
|
[[Girls' Apartment]] / Margaret: I have a lot of canned goods! My survivalist friend, "15-fingers" McCoy, sold them to me. I sold him some things, too, before... / Can: SPROING! / Dave: Um, your friend knows the value of a good post-apocalypse laugh... / Margaret: EX-friend! I guess this was his revenge for the bazooka that fired backwards! / {{Part of the "CRFHeck" storyline}} |
|
[[Outside]] / Dave: Wow, have you ever seen the street this empty? / Margaret: This is getting ugly. I've not seen an uncute person in hours... / Margaret: Yikes! / Scientist: I don't know how it happened! It all went WRONG! The interdimensional door was NOT supposed to be that BIG! / Scientist: And Cthulhu was wide awake! "In his house in R'lyeh dead Cthulhu waits dreaming", my ASS! / Scientist: And now we're ALL gonna DIEEEEEE!!!! / Dave: Who the heck is this Cthulhu, anyway? / Margaret: I'm not sure... sounds tasty tho. / {{Part of the "CRFHeck" storyline}} |
|
[[Outside]] / Dave: I can't breath with thing on. / Margaret: You'll get used to it. / Dave: I know oxygen is a bad habit, but... / Dave: Eeep! Urk! *snort* / Margaret: What? Are you having a fit? Insulin shock? / Margaret: Aw, hell. Please tell me I won't have to give you mouth-to-mouth... / Dave: BONK! / {{Part of the "CRFHeck" storyline}} |
| |
|
[[Outside]] / Margaret: Hey! Just what the...??!! / Margaret: Eeep! Urk! *snort* / Margaret: Dave, you moron! Wake up already and HELP ME!!!! / Dave: *Groan* Not now, Ma! I'm having a porno dream! / {{Part of the "CRFHeck" storyline}} |
|
[[Outside]] / Dave: Margaret! We have to split before Cthulhu comes back! Are you okay? / Margaret: *groan* / Margaret: Why, I've never felt so okay in my whole life! I'm so STINKIN' OKAY! Let's sing a song! / Dave: Oh no! Please, not you! / Dave: You're gonna pay for this, Cthulhu, you tentacle freak! / Margaret: It's the end of the world as we know it... and I feeel fine... / {{Part of the "CRFHeck" storyline}} |
|
[[Outside]] / Dave: I'm gonna get you, Cthulhu! I'm gonna find you and hunt you down like a dog! I'm... / Dave: Figuratively speaking, only, of course... / {{Part of the "CRFHeck" storyline}} |
|
[[Outside]] / Dave: Rats! Not even a scratch! What's this guy made of, steel? / Gun: BANG! / Scientist: You moron, you think you can hurt it with a wimpy SHOTGUN? You'd need a cannonball! And don't look at it directly in the eye, it'll eat your mind! / Dave: Well, if you know so much about it, why don't you fight it YOURSELF? / Scientist: Hey, they don't give out PhDs for being STUPID! / {{Part of the "CRFHeck" storyline}} |
|
[[Outside]] / Dave: There's just no way to defeat this monster! I better get out of here FAST! / Dave: Margaret, what are you doing? Don't you see Cthulhu is coming? Run!!! / Margaret: Have some grenades, you WIDDLeSNUGGLYFUZZYPRECIOUS, foulsmelling, CUTEFUZZYCUDDLY slime-THINGIE! / {{Part of the "CRFHeck" storyline}} |
| |
|
[[Outside]] / Dave: I gotta tell you, Margaret, even when you're cute, you're downright SCARY! / Margaret: Eeew! At least I got my mind back! / Margaret: I just hope the world appreciates this... / April: Wrath of ye gods!!! / Marsha: Ha! What a ridiculous outfit! / Mike: Gaaaah! Why are we watching "Baby Geniuses"??? / Roger: Retina melting! Turn it off! Turn it off! / Steve: OH my GOD! They killed Cthulhu! / Waldo: You BASTARDS! / {{Part of the "CRFHeck" storyline}} |
|
[[Outside]] / Dave: Well, I hope you're happy. We destroyed Cthulhu. / Margaret: And that was YOUR job! / Scientist: That's a laugh! You didn't destroy Cthulhu! / Dave: Uuuh... we didn't? / Scientist: That was not Cthulhu, it was just his pet micro-dragon. Cthulhu is destroying Tokyo right at this minute. / Scientist: Hey, where are you going? Ain't you gonna help me destroy Cthulhu? / Dave: What??? No! We're tired and going home... / Margaret: We'll watch the whole thing on TV, thank you very much. / {{Part of the "CRFHeck" storyline}} |
|
[[Boys' Apartment]] / Dave: Well, it's over. I just hope everything's back to normal now. / Mike: And... and when I woke up, I was watching.. oh dear God, Baby Geniuses! / Roger: Oedipus complex, no doubt... / Dave: Oooooh yeah. / {{Part of the "CRFHeck" storyline}} |
|
[[Girls' Apartment]] / April: You're going to bed already? / Margaret: Heck, yeah. I killed an evil, mind-eating monster today. I think I deserve it. / April: But what about the big calculus test? / April: You FORGOT? / Margaret: Did you hear something? I think it was the voice of Doom. / {{Part of the "Who Needs Cthulhu...?" storyline}} |
|
[[Boys' Apartment]] / Dave: Okay, let's not panic. I have eight hours to get this inside my head. Seems like an impossible task... / Dave: But in fact, turns out I only have to study a very small bunch of pages every hour! I CAN do that! / Mike: Sure, Dave, but what about Chapters five and six? / Dave: Shhhh, Mike. Don't you break the beautiful, beautiful delusion... / {{Part of the "Who Needs Cthulhu...?" storyline}} |
| |
|
[[Girls' Apartment]] / Margaret: {Static} / Margaret: It's gone. My brain is gone. / April: Why don't you sleep an hour or two and then get back to it? / Margaret: BLASPHEMER! Every second counts! / {{Part of the "Who Needs Cthulhu...?" storyline}} |
|
[[Girls' Apartment]] / Margaret: Take a look at this, will ya? There's a test in the book, but all the answers are WRONG! What a stupid book! / April: You woke me up for THIS? / Margaret: How do they expect us to study this horrible thing when all the answers are so obviously wrong? / Dave: You're already on chapter 5??? Oh my God, I think I'm gonna have a seizure... / Margaret: I'm so angry! It's ALL their fault! / Mike: We should kick the crap outta everybody... / Margaret: Where do you think this Leithold guy lives? He's the author of the book... / Mike: Book? / Margaret: How can they all be constants? We're integrating, for God's sake! Stupid book! / Marsha: Margaret, those are not the answers. Those are the PAGE numbers where you can find the answers. / Margaret: You've been waiting all your life for this moment, right? / Marsha: There's only one thing that could make it even better. A polaroid of your face... / {{Part of the "Who Needs Cthulhu...?" storyline}} |
|
[[Boys' Apartment]] / Dave: Roger, wake up. Wake up, man. We still have two hours to go. / Roger: ZZZZZZ / Mike: No use, Dave. No power on Earth can wake him up. / Dave: How can he sleep sitting up like that? / Mike: He's like one of those birds whose claws thighten up while they sleep to keep them from falling. / Dave: Uh? Birds? Claws? Earth? / Mike: And I see you can even talk while sleeping... / {{Part of the "Who Needs Cthulhu...?" storyline}} |
|
[[Girls' Apartment]] / Margaret: I am in control. I am in control. I know everything, and I know I know it. I'm calm. I know I'm gonna ace this test. Everything's gonna be okay. / Margaret: I possess all the answers. My mind is perfectly tuned and one with the universe. / April: For the sixth time, what the heck are you looking for in my makeup case? / Margaret: Oh well, I keep forgetting, OKAY??? / {{Part of the "Who Needs Cthulhu...?" storyline}} |
|
[[Boys' Apartment]] / Dave: Mike, what are you doing? We still have half an hour before the test! Every second counts! / Mike: I'm sorry, but this is my not "Giving a damn" phase. / Dave: Uh? / Mike: When I feel my brain is about to explode, I just get involved in some IQ-lowering activity such as watching TV. / Dave: But... but the TV isn't even ON! / Mike: I don't give a damn about that, either. / {{Part of the "Who Needs Cthulhu...?" storyline}} |
| |
|
[[Girls' Apartment]] / Caption: 59 minutes before the test... / Marsha: Say, April... Are you done with the cereal? / April: SNARL / April: Um, sorry. I mean, I'm done. Here... / Marsha: No THANKS! I'm in the mood for Waffles!!! / {{Part of the "Who Needs Cthulhu...?" storyline}} |
|
[[Hall]] / Caption: 5 minutes before the test / Roger: zzzz / Arrow: Sleepwalking / Dave: Why are you smiling, man? Don't you understand we're gonna fail and work at a fast food joint for the rest of our lives? / Arrow: Hysteria / Mike: Fast food! Ah-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAH!!! / Arrow: Laughter attack / Margaret: I'm in control. I will not mutilate, kill or take my anger out on unanimate objects... / Arror: Neurosis / April: Yeah, but what else? I mean I was saying, but I did not say it. Yes you did! No I didn't! Shut up! / Arrow: Incoherent babbling/Split personality / Marsha: Are you people following me or what? Uh? / Arrow: Extreme paranoia / {{Part of the "Who Needs Cthulhu...?" storyline}} |
|
[[Classroom]] / Mr. Dover: Put down your notes, Dave. The test has started. / Dave: Uh-huh. Just five minutes. / Mr. Dover: Five minutes? Put 'em down now! / Dave: 2 minutes! / Mr. Dover: No way! / Dave: 30 seconds? / Mr. Dover: No! / Dave: 5 seconds? / Mr. Dover: Here's your test, Dave. Take it or leave. / Dave: Fine! It'll be YOUR fault, then! / {{Part of the "Who Needs Cthulhu...?" storyline}} |
|
[[Classroom]] / Margaret: I am in control... I am in control... / Mr. Dover: Good luck, Margaret. / Test: Question 1. (point value: 100; partial credit will NOT be given). Consider the growth of a rabbit population when the carrying capacity depnds on time according to this formula: C(t)= ... - 5000 cos([pi]t/6) rabbits. Sketch the graph of C(t) for an interval of 60 months. Include on your graph the lowest value and the highest achieved by C, and the month where... Also sketch the solution R(t) ... new logistic equation: dR/dt = / Caption: All-nighters and deadly calculus tests do NOT mix. Other wise you could get the following chemical reactions. / Caption: Anger. / Margaret: What is this, some kind of BAD JOKE??? / Caption: Resignation. / Mike: At least I'm still on my "Not Giving A Damn" phase... / Caption: Delusion. / April: Maybe... maybe if I stare into the paper long enough, the test will solve itself... / Caption: Radical behavior change. / Marsha: Damn bunnies! Did they ever hear of condoms? Kill 'em all! Kill 'em all! / Caption: Emission of noises no human throat could ever make. / Dave: *crash* *slam!* *plink plink plinkety plonk!* / Mr. Dover: Dave, you're REALLY testing my patience... / Caption: Unconsciousness. / Roger: ZZzzZZZz / {{Part of the "Who Needs Cthulhu...?" storyline}} |
|
[[Classroom]] / Mr. Dover: Time has expired, Dave. You're the only one left. Your work, please. / Dave: Uh-huh. Just five minutes. / Mr. Dover: You do this every time! Turn in your test already! / Dave: 2 minutes! / Mr. Dover: Not even one! / Dave: 30 seconds? / Mr. Dover: For crying out loud... / Dave: 5 seconds? / Mr. Dover: I'm leaving NOW, with or without it! / Dave: You don't like me, do you? Uh??? / {{Part of the "Who Needs Cthulhu...?" storyline}} |
| |
