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| College Roomies from Hell!!! - July 4, 2005 | [[In the guys' apartment.]]
/ Mike: Boy, watch out for Dave. He's in one of his moods.
/ Roger: Just as always. Tell me, is asbestos any worse for your health than say, getting deep-fried during your roommate's mood swing?
/ Mike: Heh! Just like the Fantastic Four.
/ Roger: Except we're not four, nor fantastic.
/ Mike:... http://crfh.net/d/20050704.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! | [[Dave is talking on Mike's cell phone.]]
/ Dave: I want to speak to Blue.
/ Jay: [[through the phone]] Ah! Is that you, Petunia? Nah, I don't think so.
/ Dave: It's not up to you. Put her on or you'll find out about the fun of skin implants.
/ Jay: [[through the phone]] I don't want to wake her up. ... http://crfh.net/d/20050815.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! - August 16, 2005 | [[Dave and Mike are in the bedroom.]]
/ Mike: Hey! What the hell happened here?
/ Dave: Uh... someone... threw a rock?
/ Mike: Geez! Well, don't you just stand there! Can't you see the rain's getting in? / Mike: By the way, are you DONE with my cell phone? I was about to make a call when you quite NICELY... http://crfh.net/d/20050816.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! - August 17, 2006 | [[Roger and Lily, in the guy's apartment.]]
/ Roger: HEY! Wait, what's this sheep doing here???
/ Lily: This is Lanolin! She's a gift for Mom. Thought she'd like some guilt-free fresh meat for a change!
/ Roger: She was never... I mean, what guilt? Besides... / Roger: I know we have a tradition of naming... http://crfh.net/d/20050817.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! - August 18, 2006 | [[Mike is in the guys' bedroom. Harry is outside it.]]
/ Roger (off-screen): Hey Mike, your dad is here...
/ Mike: Hell no! i don't have a dad!
/ Harry: Geez Mike, cut the drama...
/ Mike: Drama??? You said so yourself! Now go away!
/ Harry: I just want to talk to you for a minute, that's all.
/ Mike: Yeah,... http://crfh.net/d/20050818.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! - August 19, 2006 | [[Dave is outside the building, on the window-ledge.]]
/ Dave (thinking to himself): Don't look down. You don't want to get shipped to Mexico again, do you?
/ Dave (thinking to himself): *sigh* Why am I doing this anyway? I don't think Mike's phone survived the fall.
/ Dave (thinking to himself): He's going... http://crfh.net/d/20050819.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! - August 22, 2005 | [[Dave, brainwarped, is sitting outside Margaret's window ledge looking in on her after she has just gotten out of the shower.]]
/ Dave (thinking to himself): Oh my towel. She's dropping the curves, and the God is nice and rubbing, and... / Dave (thinking to himself): ACK! I'm not supposed to be here... http://crfh.net/d/20050822.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! August 23, 2005 | [[Mike and Harry are in the guys' bedroom.]]
/ Mike: All right, sir. You're here now. Talk fast so you can slam the door behind you in no time.
/ Harry: Hey, I'm here to apologize.
/ Mike: Does your apology include kicking my indiscriminating ass?
/ Harry: Well, what were you expecting after what happened?
/ Mike:... http://crfh.net/d/20050823.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! - August 24, 2005 | [[Mike and Harry are in the guys' bedroom.]]
/ Mike: Gee, Dad, I'd really like to spend the break with you, but I think I better stay here with my lover. I'd crush his little heart...
/ Harry: GRMPH. I guess... you could.... bring him too.
/ Mike: But I'm going to miss my friends. Can I bring my twisted,... http://crfh.net/d/20050824.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! - August 25, 2005 | Steve: Pssch. We were lucky that guy from the car wash was there to break our fall...
/ Waldo: Not so lucky. He had bony knees.
/ Steve: That dork Roger is gonna pay for scaring us like that.
/ Waldo: Yeah, and the most scary thing is, he was actually HOT.
/ Steve: Huh. He must have been taking crossdressing... http://crfh.net/d/20050825.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! - August 26, 2005 | [[Margaret's bedroom.]]
/ Margaret: HEY! Is someone in there???
/ Dave: Uh... yeah.
/ Margaret: Dave? What's going on? / Dave: I'm sorry if I disturbed you. Mike's going to terminate my life contract, and I just escaped through the window.
/ Margaret: AGAIN??? Dave, do you EVER learn?
/ Dave: Apparently... http://crfh.net/d/20050826.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! - August 29, 2005 | [[Margaret's bedroom. Margaret is holding out the towel she was using to dry off after a shower]]
/ Margaret: What? What's the matter?
/ Margaret: I know it's not completely dry, but it's better than nothing. / Dave: Why do you keep doing this to me?
/ Margaret: [[wrapping herself in the towel again]]... http://crfh.net/d/20050829.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! - August 30, 2005 | [[Margaret's bedroom.]]
/ Dave: Let me go, Margaret.
/ Margaret: Sure I'll let you go. After we talk.
/ Dave: I don't want to talk.
/ Margaret: Too bad. You started it.
/ Dave: Margaret, I don't want to be here, and you just can't... / [[Margaret slams Dave into the wall.]]
/ < http://crfh.net/d/20050830.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! - August 31, 2005 | [[Margaret's bedroom.]]
/ Dave: You're not serious.
/ Margaret: Sure, why not?
/ Dave: Because... we're just FRIENDS.
/ Margaret: So what? It would be nice, don't you think?
/ Dave: THKCH?
/ Margaret: No strings attached. And you can get it out of the way. / [[Dave goggles at her]] / [[Dave pushes her... http://crfh.net/d/20050831.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! - September 1, 2005 | [[In the guys' apartment. Mike approaches Roger, Lily and Lanolin]]
/ Mike: Hey Roger, Roger-clone and Dolly.
/ Roger: Mmh. Do I want to know why your father visited?
/ Mike: Of course. He invited me to stay with him for Spring Break, undoubtedly to destroy my life.
/ Roger: Then what's the smile about?
/ Mike:... http://crfh.net/d/20050901.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! - September 2, 2005 | [[In the guys' apartment.]]
/ Mike: So... let me see if I got it. You were talking on my cell phone.
/ Dave: Uh-huh.
/ Mike: And you got angry.
/ Dave: Very.
/ Mike: You threw the phone across the room.
/ Dave: I was trying to throw it at the bed. I... missed.
/ Mike: Phone went through the window. Met the... http://crfh.net/d/20050902.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! - September 5, 2005 | Mike: RIGHT. Enough jolliness. Now c'mere, my knuckles and your face are on a DATE.
/ Dave: Wait a minute, Mike! Even if I destroyed your cell phone, I'm not gonna let you beat me with your robot hand. It hits like freaking roll of COINS!
/ Mike: This is not for destroying my phone, man. That's for... http://crfh.net/d/20050905.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! - September 6, 2005 | [[Steve and Waldo's apartment. Waldo's wearing a blue T-shirt reading "PSYCHO-SMURF". Steve is leading Lanolin]]
/ Steve: HAHA! Those idiots should know better than to leave such a valuable sheep out in the hall where anybody can steal it!
/ Waldo: Except, who would want to?
/ Steve: This is a SHEEFT,... http://crfh.net/d/20050906.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! - September 7, 2005 | [[Girls' apartment.]]
/ April: Welllllll? What did *just* happen between you two?
/ Margaret: You know? I have no idea.
/ April: Pssch. One's soaked and the other's in a robe. If I had to guess...
/ Margaret: No, I was not trying to drown him in the bathtub.
/ April: Aw, NOW you're just being annoying.... http://crfh.net/d/20050907.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! - September 8, 2005 | [[Dave is outside, in the rain, at a pay phone.]]
/ Dave: Thad, could I speak to Blue, please?
/ Dave: Yeah, it's Dave! And hurry it up, if you don't mind!
/ Dave: Geez, I didn't think butlers even knew such profanities! / Dave: Blue? Hi. Uh, listen. No, never mind that, I have only a little bit of... http://crfh.net/d/20050908.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! September 9, 2005 | [[Dave is outside, walking back to the apartments in the rain.]]
/ Dave: [[thinking]] Wow, that was surprisingly easy.
/ Dave: [[thinking]] Why do I always have to make things complicated?
/ Dave: [[thinking]] She's so wonderful.
/ Dave: [[thinking]] And... I said it! I finally said it. / Dave: [[thinking]]... http://crfh.net/d/20050909.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! - September 12, 2005 | [[Outside the apartment. Steve has landed on Dave; both are sprawled on the wet concrete]]
/ Dave: ACK! What the...??? Steve, get the Hell off me!
/ Steve: I'm trying! Stop squirming already! Do you think I'd fall out of the window TWICE in the same day just for the fun of it?
/ Dave: TWICE??? If... http://crfh.net/d/20050912.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! - September 13, 2005 | [[Roger and Lily are in the kitchen of the guys' apartment.]]
/ Roger: Okay. I have a better idea. What if I spend Spring Break with Mom and you go visit Dad? We shouldn't forget about him.
/ Lily: No, I think it should be better if we both go visit Mom and then Dad.
/ Roger: Hum! Is there something... http://crfh.net/d/20050913.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! - September 14, 2005 | [[In the girls' apartment.]]
/ Marsha: What did April say to you? Tell tell tell!
/ Margaret: Something about the good guys. And winning. Dunno.
/ Marsha: Yeah yeah. And that means...?
/ Margaret: Who knows? I didn't get it.
/ Marsha: Dammit! Margaret, if we're going to figure out what's with her, we... http://crfh.net/d/20050914.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! - September 15, 2005 | [[In the apartment hallway]]
/ Lily: The HELL? I can't believe someone stole Lanolin! We left her outside for like what, five minutes???
/ Roger: How do you know someone stole her? Maybe she just left.
/ Lily: I was thinking that! But she can't reach the elevator buttons. So no, someone stole her.
/ Roger:... http://crfh.net/d/20050915.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! - September 16, 2005 | [[Hallway, outside Waldo and Steve's apartment.]]
/ Lily: (think) Aha! Sheep smell! Getting stronger... / [[Waldo, nose andaged, opens the door of his apartment. They look at each other.]]
/ Lily: *shrieks*....Oh my GOD! The UGLINESS of it ALL! / ......................
/ Lily (now smiling): So... terrifying...... http://crfh.net/d/20050916.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! - September 19, 2005 | [[In the guys' bedroom.]]
/ Roger: Okay Mike, I'll fix your robot hand.
/ Mike: Wow, so GENEROUS of you! What do you want?
/ Roger: Look, Lily doesn't know Mom is dead, and I don't know how to tell her!
/ Mike: So, you want me to tell her for you?
/ Roger: Holy Screaming Banshee, God FORBID!
/ Mike: Then what?
/ Roger:... http://crfh.net/d/20050919.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! - September 20, 2005 | [[Mike and Steve are in the apartment hallway.]]
/ Mike: A-HA! So you were the one who stole Lanolin!
/ Steve: Ummm... No, I didn't?
/ Mike: Yes you did! You have caused us great grief and grouchiness. Bad Steve!
/ Steve: Okay, so I did. Anyway, I decided to let you have it. / Mike: OOOh! We're privileged!... http://crfh.net/d/20050920.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! - September 21, 2005 | [[In the guys' apartment. There's a ruckus coming from the closet. Mike spins a key on his finger]]
/ <<#@%>> <> < http://crfh.net/d/20050921.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! - September 22, 2005 | [[Waldo runs into the guys' apartment]]
/ Waldo: OUTTA MY WAY! DEATH RIDES BESIDE ME!
/ Waldo: FEMALE ROGER WANTS TO SEX ME UP! / Mike: Female Roger, huh? Heh. Well, this is not a very good place to hide. He's got a KEY, you know...
/ Waldo: Because I'm looking for Steve! Is he here or not?
/ Mike:... http://crfh.net/d/20050922.html |
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