You're browsing the archives of College Roomies From Hell.
You can search these comics too.

show: [ show full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]

College Roomies from Hell!!! [[Everybody is gathered around a table]] / Mike: So, here we're going to pool our collective experiences, and try to draw some conclusions we can use. / Mike: Lately, it seems that Satan is targeting us one by one. / Mike: He's also taking a much more agressive approach. / Mike: I think it's time we learn...
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[The whole group is sitting around a table]] / Roger: And I think I vaguely remember Mike talking to me and I was mad at him for some reason. And that's it. Blank from there. / Mike: Right. Well, at this point his voice changed and he said "Pleased to meet you, I hope you guess my name!" / Dave: Hum!...
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[The whole gang is still gathered around a table.]] / Mike: [[counting on his fingers]] Right. So we have three kinds of possession here... The animal and inanimate object kind, which we can safely ignore for now. Secondly, what we can call the pre-possession stage, which leads to a full possession....
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[Roger and Dave are walking]] / Dave: Frankly, there were some things I was better off not knowing. Like the fact that Satan wants Margaret dead. Yeah, I'm going to have sweet dreams now. / Roger: Dude, you complain about everything. If I knew I was possession-proof, I'd be happy. / Dave: Well, I'm...
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[The girls are walking together]] / Marsha: What the HELL??? This has been hanging over your head for HOW LONG now, and you never told me? / Margaret: I didn't want anyone involved! These people got in just because they never mind their own business! / Margaret: Why are people so MIGHTY offended that...
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[Roger and Dave are staring at Mike, who's holding the Satanic staff]] / Roger: Um, wwwhat's going on, Mike? Are you posessed or something? / Dave: [[eyes starting to glow]] Voice hasn't changed. I think it might be a prepossession... / Roger: Messing with our minds, as always? / Dave: He wouldn't JOKE...
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[Mike confronts Roger in front of the bathroom door. Roger has interposed a chair between them]] / Roger: Hey, get away. You do not wax your bikini line, so I'm not interested in rasslin'. / Mike: But are you interested in dying? Think of it as just a really long vacation! / Roger: If the buffet is...
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[Mike is upright again. The Satanic staff snaps back into Mike's tentacle]] / Roger: Now, Mike, this is my warning stare... / Mike: Relax, Roger. / Roger: Nuh-huh. First it's relax, then the internal bleeding. Don't ask how I know that. / Mike: Ew. All right, I guess that wasn't so bad with you. Dave,...
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[The guys are in the kitchen. Mike carries the Satanic staff]] / Mike: Well, no, I still don't regret it. I believe Marsha is alive because of it. So screw Armageddon, mankind, and you guys. I'd do it again. / Roger: And you don't even play the fiddle that well. I honestly think you screwed us all. / Dave:...
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[The guys are still talking in the kitchen]] / Mike: Well, why am I not surprised? After all, Blue's nothing but an easy lay for you. / Dave: That is downright INSULTING, and it's also a goddamn lie! / Mike: She means nothing to you if you'd leave her suffering in Hell. / Dave: I don't make deals with...
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[The guys are in the kitchen]] / Mike: Guys, what is done is done. This makes me no different from Roger here, for example. / Roger: Except that you're leading NOES. / Mike: Well, who IS gonna lead? Dave? / Dave: At least *I* am possession-proof! / Mike: Look, we need someone whose standard strategy is...
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[Marsha and Margaret are at a coffee shop drinking take-away coffees. Margaret has a HUGE cup]] / Margaret: So, did you forgive April? Just like that? / Marsha: Yeah, I guess I feel a little sorry for her. I mean, I'm not even sure it's Mike she wants. I think she's just lonely. / Margaret: Uh oh....
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[Margaret and Marsha walk in the park]] / Margaret: It's not fair. We fought in the same kitchen. I even got eaten by that tentacle monster. So why do you have wings and I got nothing??? / Marsha: Look, it has some downsides. They're hard to wash and dry. Bikinis are a no-no. And they are REALLY...
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[Diana is sitting on Roger's lap]] / Diana: Honey, you're not trying to make them kill you again, are you??? / Roger: No... hmmm, he says killing each other is pointless. That we have to learn to neutralize each other without permanent damage. / Diana: They better. Because if they hurt you, it will be...
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[Diana is on her way out of the room...]] / Roger: I don't think you need to change. You look fine to me. / Diana: Nah, I've been wearing this all day. Don't worry, it won't take long. In the meantime, Paul can keep you company. / Roger: If you don't mind, I'd rather wait hanging outside the window. / [[Paul...
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[Dave and April are in class. The blackboard reads "ALL YOUR FNORD ARE BELONG TO US"]] / Dave: Say April, if you're not going to study tonight, can I borrow some of your notebooks? I have to catch up on *everything*, oh so desperately. / April: Why are you asking me instead of Marsha? And I thought...
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[Dave and April are talking in the park]] / Dave: Before you start talking... if it has something to do with conspiring against Mike, I don't want in. I don't even want to KNOW about it. / April: Since WHEN are you such a big Mike fan? / Dave: Since he's including me in his plan to make Dover give us...
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[Dave and April are talking, outdoors]] / April: I have tried everything. I have tried to ignore him. He certainly DOES ignore me... / Dave: April, he's a jerk. Why are you supprised? / April: I'm not. I have tried hating him, too. It was easy. And... it didn't work. So what did you do? / Dave: I...
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[Blue is hanging on to Dave's back, her cleavage around his neck. April gets up to leave]] / April: Mmh, I guess we'll have to continue this conversation later, Dave. See you. / Dave: Yeah, see you, cleavage! / April: Watch out for STDs. / Blue: [[to April]] And you watch out for your A-S-S, because even...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Dave: Uh, I'm of course glad to see you, but I thought it was dangerous for us to be together... with the trackers... / Blue: Didn't Mike help you with it? / Dave: Nope. / Blue: Ah! Weird. Anyway, your signal disappeared a few days ago. And of course, I got rid of mine... / Dave: Really? Well, that's...
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! - June 15, 2005 Dave: Uh... I dunno. I mean, it's surely tempting, but I think we better not. / Blue: Heheh. Because it's... nooooot right. Right? / Dave: I'm serious. / Blue: Wow. You actually are! Are you feeling well? / Dave: Yeah. But I think... I think we just need to calm down. / Blue: That's fine with me. Mind if...
College Roomies from Hell!!! - June 16, 2005 Dave: Jesus, if I knew you were going to act like that, I would just have shtoinked you... / Blue: Forget the shtoinking. If you don't enjoy my presence anymore... / Dave: But I *do* enjoy your presence. / Blue: Then what is it? What's the big problem? / Dave: *sigh* Okay, look. I'm very tight on money...
College Roomies from Hell!!! - June 18, 2005 Roger: I have a small suggestion for you. You should smear yourself with honey and look for a bee farm. / Dave: What kind of STUPID advice is that??? / Roger: Maybe then you'd worry about a problem that's already happening, instead of something that is you know, just in your head? / Dave: Roger, it's not...
College Roomies from Hell!!! - June 20, 2005 [[Inside the apartments]] / Mike: You don't have to be worried, honey. I'd never let anything happen to you... / Marsha: I'm not worried about myself. I'm worried about YOU. You're putting yourself in danger by leading NOES. I wish you could let someone else do it instead. / Mike: Well, if someone's...
College Roomies from Hell!!! - June 21, 2005 Mike: Next step? You mean moving in together again? / Marsha: Nah, we would pay more rent. And we could use the money, eventually. For something better. / Mike: Like what? / Marsha: Something of our own. Big enough for us. / Mike: But you just said... / Marsha: I meant long-term. We have to start thinking......
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! - June 22, 2005 [[April walks through the park. Mike blurs past her]] / Mike: [[off-panel]] BYE APRIL! SO HAAAAPPEEEEEE! / <> / April: [[blushing]] Heeeey... did you guys see a naked Mike running around naked with his undies on his head while naked? / Dave: Woe. / Roger: It is. Very HARD. Not to NOTICE. / April:...
College Roomies from Hell!!! - June 23, 2005 Roger: Look, don't ask. You really don't want to know this one. / April: Oh? Well, I didn't really care about knowing but now I REALLY want to know. / Dave: Crap. Okay. Um, apparently... Mike and Marsha got engaged. Or something. / April: Engaged. / Dave: Yeah. I'm sorry. / April: As in... marrying. / Roger:...
College Roomies from Hell!!! - June 27, 2005 [[In the girls' apartment. Margaret is working on a drawing]] / Margaret: Hey, I heard. Congratulations! / Marsha: Heheh! Well, Mike really knows how to call attention to stuff, doesn't he? / Margaret: I'd say so. Although maybe next time he can choose a way that is not collective-defenestration inducing. / Marsha:...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Dave is slumped face-down on the table]] / Dave: Nnnggh. / Roger: Man, you have to stop doing this to yourself. / Dave: Roger, if I did the right thing, why do I feel like a complete MORON??? / Roger: Maybe it wasn't the right thing at all? / Dave: Yes it was. I told her the truth. Girls always complain...
College Roomies from Hell!!! - June 29, 2005 [[Dave is in the guy's bedroom, dialing Mike's cell phone.]] / <> / Dave (thinking to himself): Uugh. God, please don't let me say anything stupid... / Dave (thinking to himself): All right, I'll settle for keeping the stupidity to a minimum! / Dave (thinking to himself): No? How about chimpanzee...
 

Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60
61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80
81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 >>