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College Roomies from Hell!!! [[Dave is sitting, face-down on a desk. Mike and Marsha are present]] / Mike: Way to go, Dave. Just when Dover was about to surrender to my superior intellect and crushing arguments... / Dave: *sob* What's the point? I'm flunking and losing my scholorship. / Mike: Aw, we're not flunking. I'll find a...
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[Margaret falls face-down in the woods]] / <> / [[A snake is coiled around a tree, watching her]] / Margaret: Heeey. Stanny... I was wondering when you'd show up... / Satan Snake: If you wanted to see me so badly, Margaret, there are toll-free invocations... / Margaret: Naw, I just wanted to see...
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[Margaret is lying on her back in the woods, talking to a snake]] / Satan Snake: You know, Margaret, you could have saved yourself a lot of time. There are plenty of tall buildings, poison, weapons... / Margaret: Never by my own hand, snake. I'll let God judge my life, but I'm not giving you my soul...
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[Margaret is lying, dying, in the woods, talking to a snake. Margaret has her hand wrapped around the snake's neck.]] / Satan Snake: Sure, I can save your life. But there's no such thing as a free lunch... / Margaret: I'm not asking you, I'm *daring* you to do it. / Satan Snake: Nice trick. Sorry, no...
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[Margaret is lying in the woods, dying, talking to a snake. Her hand is around the snake's neck]] / Satan Snake: You know, it is not so bad. You'll see them again. Your mother and father. / Margaret: Mom. Daddy. / Satan Snake: And Jerry, and Trish... Rachel and Andy... / Margaret: I miss them. So MUCH. / Satan...
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[Dave is carrying a pillow. Mike is carrying a cardboard box]] / Dave: Going to bed and staying there forever. / Mike: WHAT? But we just got home! / Dave: Should have done it much earlier. Like, yesterday. / Mike: Bububut! BUT, Dave! Didn't your father tell you about the birds and the bees? / Dave:...
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[Mike is carrying a box at the door of April & Marsha's apartment. He's wearing a brown cowboy hat and pink fuzzy handcuffs. April is at the door. Mike pushes the hat back over his eyes so he can see]] / Mike: Ugh. Um, it's you. Eh, Marsha...? / April: Inside. / Mike: Uh, yeah. Are you gonna let...
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[Mike and Marsha are in bed together]] / Marsha: Heh. You know, Mike, if it wasn't you, I would never believe so many things could happen to someone... / Mike: Pfft. Yeah, ain't it grand being me. Well, right now it IS, but... / Marsha: One would think you'd stop drinking forever. / Mike: Naw, I just...
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[Mike and Marsha are in bed together]] / Mike: Marshmallow, you know I'd eat molten lead for you... / Marsha: And you have! / Mike: And I have. And I am glad you worked out your differences with April, but please, don't ask me to be her friend. / Marsha: I know I can't do that, Mike. But she's your neighbor,...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Dave: [[off-panel]] I am SO pathetic... yeah, talking to myself is one thing, but this... / Mike: <> / Dave: [[off-panel]] Oh God, but I had such a BAD day yesterday. I just HAVE to do something... / [[Mike listens at Dave's door]] / Dave: [[off-panel]] No, no. Why am I doing this? I mean, just...
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[Dave is clutching a pillow in front of himself, blushing]] / Dave: HEY! Do you mind??? I'm in the middle of something, HERE! / Mike: Or the other way around... / Dave: Bit of privacy, please? I'll uh... be done fairly quickly! Shoo! / Mike: Heh! Need some help, perhaps? / Dave: What THE...? Uh, NO! / [[Mike...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Dave: Look, I'm sorry! I saw your cell phone, and I figured I could make a little call! / Mike: Sure, a little call! So pay for the friggin' long distance YOURSELF! / Dave: You known damn well I can't afford it! Could you stop rubbing it in my face??? / Mike: Why should *I* pay for it? Gimme just ONE...
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[Flashback: April being kissed by Mike ]] / [[April wakes]] / April: [[thinking]] UGH. Stupid Mike. / April: [[thinking]] Stupid dreams... / April: [[thinking]] ??? / [[Paul is in bed with April]] / April: [[thinking]] SssTUPID!!! / Paul: Aw honey, don't worry! NO ONE looks good in the morning...
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[April and Paul are getting dressed]] / April: Uh, Paul... about what happened last night... I hope you don't get the wrong idea. / Paul: Cold, April. So cold. I'm never gonna forgive you for breaking my little heart. / April: Look, I was angry and confused... / Paul: Heh! April, I'm just teasing....
College Roomies from Hell!!! April: Okay. LOOK. If I *knew* we were um, conducting business... I would have been a lot MORE demanding. / Paul: Well, it was a working night! What did YOU think we were doing? / April: I have... no idea. / Paul: NO? Well, I do. / April: All right. Suppose for a minute that I don't pay you. What you...
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[Dave is out walking]] / Dave: [[thinking]] Blue is right. If I wander around the streets a bit, my soul link *should* get me naturally closer to Chester. / Dave: [[thinking]] I hope he's okay, and not eating human flesh, or something... / [[April runs into frame, clutching her buttocks and shouting...
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[Dave is chasing after April and Diana who are presumably fighting off-screen. He's running past a wrought-iron fence, in front of an expensive-looking house]] / Dave: Hey, wait! What happened? Why are you girls whipping each other? / April: Go AWAY, Dave! Yoooow! / Diana: HAH! Did you like that,...
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[Dave calls through the bars at an expensive-looking house]] / Dave: Chester, what are you doing in there? Come on, let's go home! / Dave: All right, so you can't! Stop scratching the window, I'll get you out! / Dave: Stupid rich people! What do they want big yards for if they won't even let their pets...
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[Mike is walking, whistling]] / [[April rushes up to Mike and grabs him by the shirt]] / April: QUICK! GIMME 50 bucks! / Mike: Wha? Uh, why should I give *you*...? / April: Never mind! Just hand over the money, c'mon! / [[April turns and gives the money to Diana]] / April: Here's your damn money! ...
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[April stands by, embarrassed, waiting for Mike's laughing fit to pass]] / Mike: AHAHAHAHAHAH! Priceless! HAHA! Oh, man! HAAAHAHAHAHA! / Mike: Bahahahah... huh. Uh... / [[April is smiling]] / Mike: Why are you looking at me like that? / April: Mmh. Well, even if you're laughing at me... I think...
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! {{Disclaimer: I'm not pulling any punches today, guys, and the strip could get some of you a *really* weird look at work or home. Click under your own risk and a gore/nudity warning there.}} / [[Margaret is running through what appears to be jungle, cutting vines with a knife. The background is red]] / Margaret:...
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[A cave. Roger (in werecoyote form) confronts Margaret]] / Roger: Well, what was THAT about? Or is it just a new and creative attempt to be a bitch? / Margaret: [[tears streaming down her cheeks]] He was... no, he couldn't. I... stayed away from him. Or does it even follow me here? / Roger: Bah. You...
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[A cat, probably Chester, is scratching at the door. Joe calls from out of frame]] / Joe: Hey, quiet up there! Your dish is full, go eat that! / Cat: MEEEEOW! MEOOOW! <> <> <> / [[Dave is handcuffed to a chair and being tied up with duct tape]] / Joe: Damn it, I bet he thinks...
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[Dave is handcuffed and duct-taped to a chair]] / Dave: Why don't you let Chester in? You know he just wants to be with me... / Joe: Who? / Dave: Chester. My cat. Is playing dumb part of the torture or what? / Joe: Sorry, kid, that's MY cat. I've had him since he was a kitten. / Dave: Uh??? / Joe: If...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives Dave: Is he Satan? I didn't imagine the whole thing, did I? Was he possessed or something? Is he possessed right now? / He must know about my laser vision. He avoids my sight. And the handcuffs... / Stupid idiot! Now I'm gonna have to destroy the chair. But I can't do it quickly, not without hurting myself... / He...
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[Dave is still handcuffed and duct-taped to a chair]] / Dave (thought): Is he Satan? I didn't imagine the whole thing, did I? Was he posessed or something? Is he posessed, right now? / Dave (thought): He must know about my laser vision. He avoids my sight. And the handcuffs... / Dave (thought): Stupid...
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[Margaret and Roger (as werecoyote) are in the woods, possibly in a cave, together]] / Margaret: Roger? / Roger: Huh? / Margaret: I'm sorry I killed your mother. I really, really am. / Roger: I don't think saying that to someone was ever useful. / Margaret: I didn't know she was a were coyote. She never...
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[Dave is tied up to a chair. Joe is present, sitting behind him]] / Dave: Well, if you think I... / Joe: PSSH! Don't turn around. Margaret told me about your lasers. And pulling tape off your eyelids would be NASTY. / Dave: Why, because you're so NICE? / Joe: I am a lot nicer than I would have to be. / Dave:...
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[Dave is tied up to a chair. Joe is behind him]] / Joe: You're lying. You're just saying that because you want her for yourself, don't you? / Dave: Really, Joe. If you're not going to believe anything I say, why bother asking at all??? / Joe: Yeah, you're right about that. After all, you're the guy...
College Roomies from Hell!!! [[Dave is tied up and blindfolded in a chair. Chester is in his arms]] / Dave: *sigh* Chester, what are you doing here? I was trying to keep you away... / Joe (with text in a demonic script): I have been saying it for centuries and no one EVER listens. / Joe: Imperfect creatures. you can't even get your...
 

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