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College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, April 7, 2003 [[Dave lies on his bed, reading his notes, a pencil in his mouth]] / Mike: Dave! Where is the couch, man? Where the spiroratstar is the couch? / Dave: Fummo. Fif ou loogh fe-ind d' gouch? / Mike: Very funny. Were we robbed again? You were here! / Dave: Febbe ou ferivet it. / Mike: I derived it? What...? / Dave:...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Tuesday, April 8, 2003 Marsha: First April leaves, now Roger! / Mike: Yup, too bad. I could use the help, and Dave's depression is driving me crazy. / Marsha: Mike, I've told you. You don't need to blackmail your roomies into helping you. *I* could help you. / Mike: Thanks, babe. But I don't want to be a drag. / Marsha:...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Dave stands outside his front door. Mike has opened the door]] / Dave: We have to change the lock! My key didn't work... / Mike: Ah, yeah. I already did. / Dave: So we don't get robbed? / Mike: Um, no. It's just that you don't live here anymore / Dave: What? / Mike: Marsha's my roomie now. / Dave: WHAT??? / Mike:...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, April 10, 2003 Dave: Who the hell do you think you are??? You can't kick me out of my own apartment! / Mike: Pssch. You make it sound so bad! You're gonna be living with Margaret... / Dave: Do you have any idea of how PAINFUL that's gonna be right now? / Mike: Eew. Spare me the details... / Dave: Mike, I don't NEED...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, April 11, 2003 April: Well, I'm going to sleep. Night! / Roger: Wait a minute... why should YOU get the bed? I got the apartment! / April: You also got the couch, didn't you? / Roger: So what? It's unfair! / April: I can't believe it! You want to leave a poor defenseless girl sleeping on the couch while you take...
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Saturday, April 12, 2003 [[Dave, carrying Chester, enters the apartment previously known as "the girls'". Margaret is in bed, reading.]] / Margaret: Uh... what are you doing here? / Dave: I live here. / Margaret: Whu??? / Dave: Mike kicked me out to live with Marsha. I had a long, hard day, and I just want to sleep. / [[Dave...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Sunday, April 13, 2003 April: [[outside the bathroom door]] Roger, get out of the bathroom! Are you dead and decomposing or what? / Roger: [[off-panel]] Just a minute... / April: You said that 120 minutes ago! / Roger: [[off-panel]] All right, geez... / [[Roger walks from the bathroom, carrying his pet rock Fluffy]] / Roger:...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, April 14, 2003 [[Dave has flopped, his head face down on the table. Margaret wanders up, in her dressing gown, with a cup of coffee]] / Margaret: Morning. I thought you weren't going to class. / Dave: Mrnnn. / Margaret: Slept well? / Dave: Ffn. / Margaret: Yeah, me too. / Margaret: Except for that time around 3a.m.,...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Tuesday, April 15, 2003 Marsha: Aaw, you're already up! I was gonna make you breakfast. / Mike: Well, you looked so cute asleep that I didn't want to disturb you. / Marsha: All right. I'm gonna make some scrambled eggs for myself. / Mike: Nooo! Eat the donuts, they're good donuts! They'll go stale if we don't eat them. / Marsha:...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, April 16, 2003 [[Margaret and April walk. April is carrying a soft drink and a hot dog]] / Margaret: So what's it like living with Roger? / April: Surreal. / Margaret: Serves you right. Why don't you and Dave just you know, get on with your lives? / April: What's it to you? You dumped him anyway! / Margaret: So???...
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, April 17, 2003 [[Margaret and April sit at a table. There is a banana on the table]] / Margaret: Why is it such a big deal now? / April: I was in denial. / Margaret: So? / April: And I have changed, too. / Margaret: I mean, I don't know what good this is doing to you. He's obviously not interested in you. They're your...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Saturday, April 19, 2003 Mrs. Cerberus: [[off-panel]] O'Light. / O'Light: [[off-panel]] Heeeeeeeere. / Mrs. Cerberus: [[off-panel]] Pepitone. / Roger: Yo. / Mrs. Cerberus: [[off-panel]] "Yo?" / Roger: [[grinning]] Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum! / [[We see that Mrs. Cerberus has an eye-patch]] / Mrs. Cerberus: Do you think, young...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Sunday, April 20, 2003 [[Roger encounters the sleep-deprived Dave]] / Roger: Hey. How's it going? You look like a steaming pile of something. / Dave: Didn't get a lot of sleep last night. / Roger: Oh! Well, talk about your misery. I just got spanked by the teacher again, and... / Roger: Wait a minute! You just moved in...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives Marsha: Psst! Margaret, wait up! / Margaret: Eh? / Marsha: Are you mad at me for moving in with Mike? / Margaret: Heh! Of course not. Dave was upset, I think... but then again, it's Mike who should apologize to him. / Marsha: Good. If you need something, I'll be next door, okay? / Margaret: [[off-panel]]...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives Roger: Stay away from me, Tentaclesaurus. My lawyer has a letter that's to be opened in the event of my violent, sudden death. / Mike: Heh! Why should I kill you, coyote? And you don't even have a lawyer. / Roger: Why, because I was smarter than you and moved out before you could enslave me again! ...
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, April 23, 2003 Diana: So what's it like living with April? / Roger: Pffft. Don't remind me. / Diana: How come? / Roger: She can't relax, and she has a cow over just about everything. / Roger: I fear for my life. What will happen to me next time I leave the toilet seat up, or borrow her makeup, or shed fur all over...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, April 24, 2003 [[Mike encounters the sleep-deprived Dave]] / Mike: Why, Dave. Roger told me you have already discovered the wonders of brain-failure due to sex overload! / Dave: Mike, this is NOT funny. / Mike: Without me, you'd still be dating Dover, but the credit is all yours! / Dave: You know what you did? You...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, April 25, 2003 Marsha: Hey, Roger! What's up? / Roger: I was waiting for you, because, ummmm... what would you think if I told you moving out was a terrible mistake? / Marsha: I'd think that you finally discovered April is a control freak, and that you hope I'm willing to sacrifice my happiness with Mike just so you...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives Mike: Hey, babe. Had a good day? / Marsha: Yeah, I didn't kill anyone. But I'm hungry. / Mike: Me too. What's it gonna be? Pizza? Chicken? / Marsha: Ehm. I don't mind eating out, of course, but we can't do it everyday, can we? What about bankruptcy? / Mike: Heh. Don't worry about that. / Marsha: But I do....
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Mike and Marsha are shopping for food]] / Marsha: I don't believe it. EVERYTHING in a can! / Mike: Hey cool! Canned meatball sandwich! And canned swiss meatball sandwich! / Marsha: This is ridiculous! You can eat everything and not lift a finger. Where's the joy and beauty of cooking your own meals? / Mike:...
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Mike and Marsha are sitting quietly on the sofa]] / Marsha: <<*twitch*>> / [[Marsha grabs Mike by the shirt]] / Marsha: All right, that't IT! I'm gonna cook, and whatever stands in my way shall be CRUSHED! / Mike: Ack! That doesn't include me, right? / Marsha: It depends! Are YOU in my way? / Mike: ...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, May 1, 2003 [[Marsha, wearing cleaning gloves, heads toward the kitchen]] / Marsha: Off to the kitchen. Wish me luck. / Mike: What??? NOOOO! / Marsha: Yes. And NOTHING you say can convince me not to do it. / Demonic Mike Anti-Conscience: Stop her, stupid! Stop her before she kills us all! / Mike: Marsha, why don't...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, May 2, 2003 [[Chester is curled up on the table, preparing to sleep]] / Marsha: [[off-panel, flowery]] Cheeeeeeesteeeeeeer! / Marsha: [[wide eyes, flowery]] Who's the cutest kitty-cat? Come with mama, baby! I have some crunchy, tasty mice for youuuu! / Marsha: [[carrying Chester]] Now let's get the hell out of...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Sunday, May 4, 2003 Marsha: What's the matter with Dave??? He's acting so strange! I thought he was gonna laser me! / Margaret: Not only is he paranoid... everybody is out to get him, too! / Marsha: What are you talking about? / Margaret: I'm not supposed to talk about it today, but when it's over I'll tell you. / Marsha:...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, May 5, 2003 Margaret: All right. We'll work on your kitchen next week. / Marsha: NEXT WEEK? I'll go crazy by then! / Margaret: Well, I have this thing today and probably tomorrow. Then on Friday we'll have infiltration, and it's very complicated... / Marsha: Come OOOON!!! / Margaret: The earliest I can get to it...
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Tuesday, May 6, 2003 [[Marsha opens the door, revealing Margaret carrying a package]] / Marsha: Heeey! I wasn't expecting you until tomorrow! / Margaret: Heh. Well, I brought something that will make tomorrow's work easier. / Marsha: Really? Cool! / [[We are treated to a brief glimpse of violent green as Margaret opens...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, May 7, 2003 [[Inside the kitchen. A green glow suffuses all. Margaret and Marsha, gas-masked, carrying flashlights and weapons, warily enter]] / Margaret: Watch out. There's a million mice lying dead on the floor. / Marsha: At least they're dead. If one of them moves I'm out of here. / [[Margaret spots some orange...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, May 8, 2003 [[The "bats" attack Margaret, revealing themselves to be flying potatoes]] / Margaret: Holy flying mutant potato crap! / Marsha: [[off-panel]] Margaret! A little help here! / [[A many-eyed, tentacled beast has seized Marsha and begun to divest her of her garments]] / Marsha: I don't know what kind of...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, May 9, 2003 [[The tentacle monster is holding Marsha upside-down]] / Marsha: My, my, Mr. Monster. You sure have a lot of sneaky tentacles. / Monster: <> / Marsha: [[escaping]] Unfortunately for you, that's my area of EXPERTISE! / Monster: [[examining its now-knotted tentacles]] <<*whimper*>>
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Saturday, May 10, 2003 [[The partially-clad Marsha and the gun-toting Margaret are cleaning the kitchen]] / Marsha: Here comes the monster again! Margaret, your turn! / <> [[as Margaret shoots a potato-bat-creature]] / Margaret: Are you SURE? These things are annoying and shoot slime in your eyes. / Marsha: I'm SURE! / Margaret:...
 

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