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College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, March 7, 2003 Dave: Okay. Why did you do it? / Margaret: I thought you were a pumpkinheaded zombie, so I... / Dave: Not THAT! THIS! Why did you do it? I don't understand! / Margaret: Ah. Well, you were really getting behind on everything. / Margaret: I didn't know you'd be mad. I'm sorry. / Dave: Mad? I'm CONFUSED!...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives Dave: Did you read my letter? / Margaret: Letter? No, I haven't received any letter. / Dave: I wrote you a letter. About us. About how I keep stressing myself over you, over what you'd think of me. And that I simply have to stop doing that. / Margaret: Really??? / Dave: I KNOW I have to stop, but I just...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Margaret withdraws her hands from Dave's]] / Margaret: No. / Margaret: Dave, I'm sorry. I don't. / [[Dave ruefully looks at the sock he's still carrying]] / Dave: [[leaving]] Yeah, I thought so.
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, March 10, 2003 [[Dave wears the sock on his hand, as a hand puppet]] / Dave: Well, Mr. Sock. It seems that all I have left is you and my broken heart. But that's what I get for opening my big mouth. / Mr. Sock: It's better than not knowing. / Dave: If would have been even better if she said she loved me. / Mr. Sock:...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Dave is still wearing Margaret's sock on his hand]] / Dave: I'm still in shock, I guess. All this time I believed she loved me a little. Turns out she didn't. Now what? / Dave: It's like I've got the wind knocked out of me. / Mike: Mmhh... / Dave: or maybe I should have aOOW!! / <> / [[Mike grabs...
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[April sits on a park bench, reading. Her hair is still a mess]] / [[Reddish-brown gunk flies from off-panel, spattering all over her]] / <> / April: WHAT...? / Mike: Rotten pumpkin! / April: Why??? / Mike: It's the solution to all your hair problems. / April: Mike... / Mike: It's all right!...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, March 13, 2003 Mike:But it's true! Rotten pumpkin gave Dave a softer mop. I even thought it was a wig. / April:GRRRRRR..... / Dave:Uh... April, I tried to talk him out of it, but he never listens. / Mike:April, I'm sorry I ruined your hair. And I'm aware that apologizing is not gonna solve the mess I made, so I thought...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, March 14, 2003 [[Mike rubs his nose]] / Mike: Man, that girl has pointy knuckles. Did you see where she went? It's gonna need more work than I thought. / Dave: Mike, it's amusing to see you beaten to a pulp, but guess who's gonna have to be your nurse... / Mike: Never mind that. We... / Dave: No! Don't you see it?...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives Dave: All right, I have to admit that I haven't been honest with you at all. / Dave: Bunch of lies, you know? The nunnery, and Mexico. Everything else, too. It never happened. / Dave: I think you deserve the truth. / Dave: And the truth is as follows. Here, I'll start from the beginning... several...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives Narrator: That's when we spotted her / Dave: [[off-panel]] Hey, what's that? / Mike: [[off-panel]] It looks like a girl. / Dave: What's she doing in the rain? And she looks like she's going to a party. / Mike: Who cares? Let's give her a ride! / Dave: Wait a minute... this sounds familiar. / Mike: What's...
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Tuesday, March 18, 2003 Mysterious Girl: Thanks for the lift, gentlemen. / Dave: What a weird girl. She barely said anything all this time. / Mike: What a babe! I wonder... / Mike: Remember an urban legend about a girl who turned out to be a ghost? / Dave: Yes, I remember, that's why I thought the whole thing sounded familiar......
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Mike knocks on the imposing door]] / Dave: You just don't pay me enough! I don't want to be involved in your crazy adventures! / Mike: Pssch. You are SO boring! / Dave: Yes, and I LOVE it! I love all things boring and predictable! / [[The door is opened by a Mysterious Blonde]] / Mysterious Blonde:...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Mike and Dave are sat on plush armchairs. Diana serves wine. The Mysterious Blonde is revealed to be April, who is seated behind Mike, hugging him]] / Dave: Um, Mike...are you sure we should be here? I mean, I think it's one of THOSE places... / Mike: Well, if you don't want to be here, feel free...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Margaret is rubbing Dave's shoulders. Marsha rubs Mike's hair. April stands nearby, watching]] / Dave: Mmmmmmmh. I have to admit...this is VERY nice. / Mike: Hah! Who's the moron now? / Dave: I know. I guess I should relax more often... / Mike: If it wasn't for me, you'd NEVER have any fun! / Roger:...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives Narrator: Either I'm a real lightweight when it comes to drinking or there was more than red wine in that glass... / Dave: Aw, don't tell me I missed everything again... / [[Dave notices he is wearing only boxer shorts, and is strapped to the wall]] / Dave: [[thinking]] ...???!!! / [[Mike is strapped,...
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Sunday, March 23, 2003 Dave: Hey! Who are you? What the hell do you want? / Hazel: My name is Madame D, and YOU are my test subject number 3! / Dave: Test subject??? / Hazel: Yes, I will need your little mutant genes. For I am, you see... / Hazel: Playing God! / Hazel: MWAHAAAHAHAHAHA! / Dave: I don't see how that can be...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, March 24, 2003 Hazel: Now that I have you three in my clutches, I'll brainwash you into producing some offspring with a little help from my girls here! And in a few years, I'll take over the world with my own army of unstoppable super-powered mutants! / Dave: [[off-panel]] Oh yeah? Well, what makes you think I won't...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives Dave: Look, Mr. Dover...You know I'm a good student. I never miss my classes if not for a good reason. So... / Mr. Dover: Probably. But you also missed a couple of tests. / Dave: I'm only asking for a chance to take them! C'mon, I'll do ANYTHING! / Mr. Dover: Anything? Anything at all? / Dave: Uh...well,...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Dave is holding a baseball bat to his own head when Mike walks in]] / Mike: HEY! What the hell do you think you're doing?? / Dave: Dover blackmailed me into being his assistant. Since I'm everybody's errand boy and Margaret doesn't love me, I have decided to end it all. / Mike: End it all? You are...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, March 27, 2003 [[Dave is sticking his head in an oven]] / Roger: Dave, that oven is never going to get clean if you only use your tongue. / Dave: I'm not cleaning the oven, I'm commiting suicide. Go away. / Roger: Aren't you supposed to be inhaling gas or something? / Dave: I am! / Roger: No, you're not. / Roger: This...
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, March 28, 2003 [[Mike approaches Dave, who sits at a table covered in jellybeans]] / Mike: Hey, Dave, I need you to... / Dave: Could it wait? First, I gotta kill myself. / Mike: Oh? I could put you out of your misery if you ask nicely. / Dave: No, thanks. I have my own methods. / Mike: MY methods are faster than counting...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Saturday, March 29, 2003 Dave: Off to buy more suicide jellybeans! / Mike: [[off-panel]] Pssch. / Roger: [[off-panel]] Like we care. / Dave: [[thinking]] *siiigh* This is not working at all. I wonder... would I break my skull if I fell down these stairs? / [[Dave covers his eyes and steps forward]] / Dave: [[thinking]] Only...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Sunday, March 30, 2003 [[Dave wanders along the street]] / Dave: [[thinking]] Maybe I should tell her I did that on purpose! Then she'd kill me... / Dave: [[thinking]] Nah. I don't want her to feel guilty. Besides, I doubt she'd smother me in her lap again... / [[Dave is in the store, holding a bag of jellybeans. A sign...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, March 31, 2003 [[The Gunman turns his weapon on Dave]] / Gunman: ALL RIGHT! What are you? Local hero of the week, or what? / Dave: [[grinning]] Yeah! What are you gonna do about it? Shoot me? Hehehe... / Gunman: Right! I'll clear your sinuses, you geek! / Dave: Less talking and more bullets! / [[Gunman flees, leaving...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Tuesday, April 1, 2003 [[Dave smacks Mike upside the head with a sneaker]] / <> / [[Mike grabs Dave in a tentacular headlock]] / Mike: OKAY. Explain yourself or you start kicking it. / Dave: What's to explain? You deserve a stinky sneaker to the head, for being the most ugly, rude and evil sumufa roomie EVER. / Mike:...
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, April 2, 2003 Mike: Why do you want to die anyway? Don't you know that chicks are constantly changing their minds about everything? / Dave: [[tossing a jellybean into his mouth]] I'm too depressed to care or hope. / Mike: You're just being your drama queen usual self. You don't really want to die. / Dave: You better...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, April 3, 2003 Dave: [[clutching at his midriff]] Uuugh, Mike. I think you broke my ribs. / Mike: GOOD! I'm glad! And next time you pull a stunt like that, I'm gonna beat you up so badly you'll wish you were ALIVE! / Dave: Why? What's it to you? / Mike: If it was up to ME, I'd stuff a watermelon down your throat. / Mike:...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, April 4, 2003 Roger: April, Dave just whined himself out of his slave deal with Mike, so guess who'll have to do all of his chores! I just HAVE to move! / April: Nope. / Roger: It'll only be temporary! Two or three weeks, while Mike gets out of his cast. C'mon. / April: Nope. / Roger: I'm afraid you have no choice....
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives April: There's only one bed! / Roger: Whoa, deja vu. / April: Roger... / Roger: Okay... it shouldn't be a problem. I'm used to sleeping in the bathtub anyway. / April: Thank G... / Roger: So, since I'm used to little space and I barely move in my sleep, you won't even NOTICE I'm there! / April: All riiiight,...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Sunday, April 6, 2003 Roger: All right. Big deal. I'll sleep in the bathtub... / April: On second thought, not a good idea. / Roger: Why not? / April: I'm one of those... "midnight goers". / Roger: YEEK! Phobia flashback! Okay, maybe we can get the hot dog man to enlarge your bladder. / April: Or we can get a witch doctor...
 

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