You're browsing the archives of College Roomies From Hell.
You can search these comics too.

show: [ show full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]

College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, May 23, 2002 Dave: Thank you SO much for ruining my life yet AGAIN. / Blue: If I REALLY wanted to ruin your life I would have told the truth. But then you'd have to explain why you did it. Do you really want Margaret to know about that? / Dave: Well, no, but... / Blue: Not to mention the fact that you kissed me. ...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, May 24, 2002 [[Dave and Mike are in the bathroom; Dave holds a toothbrush, Mike watches him pointedly]] / Dave: Why are you staring at me like that? You don't believe what April said, do you? / Mike: For a tiny moment I had my doubts. But then again, you guys have something to hide. And I already know what it is. / Dave:...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives Teacher: Well, the first thing we're going to do here at the lab is a small team project. Three persons, tops. / Dave: Want to be on my team? / Margaret: Mmh. Are you sure? I'm not that good with Chemistry. / Dave: I'm so sure of my sureness I can't be more sure without starting to sound like I'm not...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Sunday, May 26, 2002 Margaret: [[stunned]] Waldo and Steve. She put me in a team. With Waldo. And Steve. / Dave: It's just a small project. I'm sure you won't have to spend a lot of time with them. / Margaret: Dave. We're talking about Waldo and Steve. A second with them is already TOO much time. / Teacher: [[off-panel]]...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, May 27, 2002 Margaret: You can't put me in a team with these DORKS! / Steve: Yeah, you can't! / Teacher: Why not? / Margaret: They're gonna ruin my grades! And I'll probably get a police record! / Waldo: Because she's so CRAZY she should sell used cars! / Teacher: I'm sorry, but I believe when you get a job in the real...
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives Dave: Double DAMN! I can't believe I ended up with those two! All that'll be left of me will be a million little flunked pieces! / Mike: All right, man, cut the crap already. Marsha's sensitive about her cooking, and if you keep babbling about I'm gonna have to tie your little neck into a knot to give...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, May 30, 2002 Marsha: Weeeeeellllll. If it isn't Mr. Reluctant Lab Partner Boy. / Dave: I think maybe we should keep hostility to a minimum... I'm sorry I said those things about your cooking. / Marsha: All right. Then I will not say that you're too nerdy and that I have no intention of killing myself over this project. / Dave:...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, May 31, 2002 [[Mike is watching TV]] / <> / Mike: Roger, get that! / Roger: [[off-panel]] I can't! I'm working on my lab project! / Mike: Aw geez, look for a better excuse! / Mike: [[on the phone]] What? Oh, it's you. Already working on it??? You gotta be kidding. / Mike: I would, but I have this...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Saturday, June 1, 2002 [[Steve holds a skull as Waldo watches]] / Steve: [[reading from a tome]] Id imperfectum manet dum confectum erit... / <> / Steve: Oh crappum... / [[Margaret is wearing a T-shirt reading "DIE!"]] / Steve: We're busy. Go away. We'll call you. / Margaret: You'll call for MERCY! I came to this stinky...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Sunday, June 2, 2002 Dave: Well, the first thing we have to do is decide what kind of a project we want. I have some suggestions here. Let's see... chlorophyll isolation... / Marsha: [[bored]] Dave, this project is worth 5% of the final grade. We don't need anything too complicated. Why don't we make soap? It's easy. / Dave:...
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, June 3, 2002 [[Margaret returns home. Marsha is filing her nails. April sits beside her on the couch in a fetal position]] / Marsha: How did it go? / Margaret: Oh, not so bad, actually. Those two guys might be idiots but they have had a lot of practice with potions... you? / Marsha: So-so. Your boyfriend definitely...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, June 5, 2002 Margaret: You're overreacting. Just get over it. / April: Sure, YOU can say that. After all, you're not the one who horribly misjudged Dave, and... / Margaret: April, the way he babbles when he's nervous and looks guilty over things he hasn't done... it's not the hardest thing to do, is it? / Margaret:...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, June 6, 2002 [[Mike and Marsha are on the couch, preparing to spend an evening together]] / Mike: So, what do you want to watch first? "Return of the Zombies, XII", or "Steel Magnolias?" / Marsha: Meeeh. / Mike: What's the matter? / Marsha: Aw. The girls have been sharing secrets while I was home. I feel so left out. / Marsha:...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Sunday, June 9, 2002 [[Mike's creeping around Dave's bedroom at night. Chester protects Dave.]] / Chester: <> / Mike: (Hey hey, calm down. I'm not gonna do anything to him. I just want the little tape recorder) / Chester: <> / Mike: (Pssch, it's too early for a cat like you to be up. Look at me, I'm yawning......
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, June 10, 2002 [[April is dressed just like Mary Ann and her hairstyle mimics Mary Ann's]] / April: All RIGHT. I've changed my appearance to meet your petty demands. Now... / Mary Ann: Now, WAIT. I thought I specified absolutely NO COTTON clothes. / April: It's only 50% cotton, you spawn of Hell. / Mary Ann: 50%? That's...
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Tuesday, June 11, 2002 [[Marsha is knocking on Mike, Roger and Dave's door]] / Marsha: Hey, open up! / Roger: [[off-panel]] I'm not here! I left the country! / Marsha: C'mon Roger. I just forgot my makeup case in there. / Roger: [[off-panel]] Who are you??? / Marsha: Marsha! Who else? / [[Roger opens the door]] / Roger: Wait...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, June 12, 2002 Mike: Well, I'm off to work on my Chem lab project. See ya. / Roger: [[blocking his exit]] Wait wait! Do you think it's wise to come out now??? The feds are after us! / Mike: You mean after YOU. I'm not the one who's making drugs, remember? / Roger: [[hushing him]] SSHHH!! Are you crazy??? There...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, June 13, 2002 [[In a darkened van]] / Scully: I still don't know why you're so interested in that harmless college kid. / Mulder: I believe he and his roommates are the ones we captured last year. Remember? The mutant abductees who were killed in that explosion... / Scully: If you're so sure, why don't you just arrest...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, June 14, 2002 Dave: Marsha, am I crazy or is this list incomplete? / Marsha: [[off-panel]] It's all there. / Dave: And these ingredients here, I don't remember... / Marsha: [[off-panel]] I made a couple of substitutions. / Dave: WHAT??? Marsha, we just can't start... / [[Dave stumbles over something. His clipboard and...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Saturday, June 15, 2002 [[April, dressed and coiffured like Mary Ann, strides past, her eyes glazed oddly, her teeth clenched]] / April: XHLEMPHREGOMFORTNESS!!!! MGGGHNNN... / Marsha: *Ahem* Dave? / Dave: [[rolling his eyes]] All right. I've got it covered. / Dave: April... you don't have to do this, you know. I'm not mad...
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Sunday, June 16, 2002 Roger: [[proffering a wig of straight red hair]] Here. Before we go out, put this wig on. / Mike: No thanks, I'm already beautiful. / Roger: Mike, I'm serious. The feds are after us, we have to go out in disguise. / Mike: Why don't you ask Dave? We all know he loves to use girl stuff. / Dave: [[off-panel,...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, June 17, 2002 April: [[sitting up in bed, smiling brightly]] Ooooh! Is it morning already??? Good morning, sunshine! / April: Good morning, roomie! / Margaret: [[bleary]] Decipher... my... / April: Your shirt, I know! / April: [[off-panel]] Aaand... oh yeah! [[Shouting]] Good mooorning, Vengeance! / Marsha: Look,...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Tuesday, June 18, 2002 Mike: [[his eyes looking back]] Dave. / Dave: What? / Mike: Don't look now, but we're being followed. / Dave: Uh? Are you sure? / Mike: Yes. On the count of three. 1... 2... / Mike: RUN! RUN TILL YOUR LUNGS FALL OFF! / [[They run. Dave hazards a look back.]] / Dave: Eep! / [[Roger (wearing a wig) clutching...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, June 19, 2002 [[Dave and Mike are running away from Roger]] / Dave: *pant pant* Is he gone? / Mike: Yeah, but I... WHOA! Wait a minute! / [[He spies a red car parked in the foreground]] / <> / Mike: That's my convertible! / [[They pull up. Mike leers as he caresses the car proprietorially.]] / Dave: *gasp* Uuuh?...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, June 20, 2002 Teacher: Where's April? Is she gonna be late? / Mary Ann: No, she was here ten minutes ago! I don't know... / Teacher: Ah, there you are. Just in time, too! / [[April enters. She blows bubblegum, her hair is Aprilesque, her clothing is brilliantly colored and bares her midriff, and her posture exudes...
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, June 21, 2002 Teacher: Very well, let's go for the safety check then. Let's see, lab coat, gloves, and... mmh, let me see the other glove there... / Mike: Eh, I only have one. / Teacher: Why is that? / Mike: [[waving his tentacle]] See, it's kind of hard wearing a glove over this thing. / Teacher: Oh! I... see. Um,...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Saturday, June 22, 2002 [[Marsha swirls a flask which contains some white liquid]] / Marsha: [[thinking]] Saponify, baby! Saponify, baby! Saponify, dammit! Boo... / [[Marsha tips the contents of the flask into the sink]] / <> / Marsha: [[thinking]] Whoops. / [[Marsha approaches Dave]] / Marsha: Say, can I help you...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Sunday, June 23, 2002 [[Mike is trying to pour some green goop down the sink that Marsha used earlier]] / Mike: Geez, who clogged the drain with that yellow goo? / Marsha: Mike? Listen, um... how do you undo a brainwarp? / Mike: Mmh. I don't know. I have never attempted to do that. Why? / Marsha: Well, see, Dave was pissed...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, June 24, 2002 [[Marsha approaches Roger, who is wearing the red wig and holding a big spliff]] / Marsha: Eh, Roger? / Roger: There's no Roger, only Zuul. / Marsha: Uh? / Roger: I mean ROSIE. And I'm not doing anything illegal, no sir. / [[Marsha approaches Margaret, who is strangling Waldo]] / Marsha: Hey, Margaret... / Margaret:...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Tuesday, June 25, 2002 Margaret: So you're done with your project? / April: Yup. Got an A on it, too. / Margaret: Then why is Mary Ann sucking her thumb under that table? / April: Oh, only because I shattered her belief system, with a little help from the teacher... / Margaret: Wow, April. You broke Mary Ann??? You realize...
 

Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60
61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80
81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 >>