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| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | Mike: Louie, what the hell are you doing?
/ Louie: Hunting! And I just got myself a BIG one!
/ Mike: Don't be an idiot. You're too young for this.
/ Louie: Mom said I could!
/ Mike: Did she also say that if you don't get off me now, I'm gonna kick your ass?
/ Louie: Pfft! What's the matter, Mike, college... http://crfh.net/d/20020128.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | Lily: You have a girlfriend now?
/ Roger: Ee-yep! Her name's Diana. Here's a pic of her.
/ Lily: Let me look. / / Lily: I didn't mean your "Playchimp" girlfriend, Roger.
/ Roger: She's not my "Playchimp" girlfriend!
/ Lily: Or your "Look at 'em" girlfriend...
/ Roger: Lily, she's my REAL girlfriend!
/ Lily:... http://crfh.net/d/20020129.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | Hazel: Great job. Be sure to give Louie the keys to his motorcycle.
/ Thadeus: Do you wish me to stay, just in case he tries to escape again?
/ Hazel: Thank you, Thadeus, but that's not really necessary. / Hazel: Hello, Michael.
/ Mike: Hi, Ma.
/ Hazel: I don't know what I'm gonna do with you. What's wrong... http://crfh.net/d/20020130.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | Hazel: I'm very disappointed in you, Michael. I could have expected this from Blue. She's still a bit immature and inexperienced... but you?
/ Mike: Expect what?
/ Hazel: If you don't KNOW, why did you run away? Mmmh?
/ Mike: I wasn't in the mood for interrogation.
/ Hazel: Sure. Well, nobody moves from... http://crfh.net/d/20020131.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | Mike: What the f... what is this?
/ Mike's mom: That's your roommate, David Jones, arriving at the small apartment he shares with his parents... ans now, Blue.
/ Mike: And what do I have to do with it?
/ Mike's mom: You told me he wasn't going to be there. Knowing teenager hormones, that was the only way... http://crfh.net/d/20020201.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | [[Dave is sleeping]] / [[A figure enters]] / [[A hand pulls down his sheet]] / [[The hand strokes his hair]] / [[Dave sits up, eyes glowing]]
/ Dave: A-HAAA!
/ Dave's mom: AAIGH! http://crfh.net/d/20020202.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | Dave: Gosh! Mom, I'm sorry! I thought you were someone else!
/ Dave's mom: Davey, your eyes...
/ Dave: Uh???
/ Dave's mom: Your eyes... they were glowing... / Dave: Glowing? No. How could they be glowing? If they were glowing, and they couldn't have been, then I'd be some kind of freak, and I'm not, and...
/ Dave's... http://crfh.net/d/20020203.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | April: All right, where the HELL have you been???
/ Margaret: I slept at the guys'. Why?
/ April: I was about to call the police?
/ Margaret: And why'd you do that?
/ April: Why? Because I was worried about you! / Margaret: You're the most inconsiderate person I've ever known. And besides, you forgot to... http://crfh.net/d/20020204.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | [[Dave Jones has just woken up, and he approaches a door in his parents' house, rubbing his eyes. He pauses at the sound of voices.]]
/ Mrs. Jones: I probably shouldn't be asking you about this... but he's been away for months now. I suddenly feel like I don't know him anymore. Since your brother is living... http://crfh.net/d/20020205.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | Mike: Heeey, Roger, my favorite roommate!
/ Roger: Sorry, wrong number. Please hang up, and dial again, preferably Dave's number.
/ Mike: Always a comedian, huh? Listen...do you remember the little device you built for me? / Roger: The thing you hypnotized me so I couldn't remember? Totally.
/ Mike: Right.... http://crfh.net/d/20020206.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | Mike: No! Thadeus, you CAN"T tell my mother about this! Do you have any idea of what she's gonna do to me? She's probably going to kill me first, then she'll have it surgically removed!
/ Thadeus: I'm sure whatever decision Madame makes, it will be for your own good.
/ Mike: How can you be so BLIND? I... http://crfh.net/d/20020207.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | Blue: So, why are you mad this time? Did I say too much? Did I say too little? Should I let your mother cry her eyes out for you next time?
/ Dave: Go away.
/ Blue: Maybe you're mad because I actually helped you. And now I'm gonna use it against you. Is that it? / Blue: Exactly WHY are you mad now? Is... http://crfh.net/d/20020208.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | [[Blue is poking Dave]]
/ Dave: Blue, stop it! I'm not kidding!
/ Blue: Make me.
/ Dave: RIGHT NOW!
/ Blue: Make me make me make me MAKE ME! / [[Dave grabs Blue's arm]]
/ Dave: I SAID stop it.
/ Blue: Ummmh. Getting physical already, aren't we? All right, we can rassle if you want, but it's not so much fun... http://crfh.net/d/20020209.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | [[Dave is standing with his hands over his mouth. Blue is unconscious on the floor.]]
/ Dave (thinking): ... / [[A guy with binoculars is watching from a tree]]
/ Guy: Whoa. Did you see that, Madame?
/ Mike's mom (through headphones): Yes I did.
/ Guy: Instructions?
/ Mike's mom: If she's not up in 60 seconds,... http://crfh.net/d/20020210.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | [[Dave is shaking Blue]]
/ Dave: Hey, hey!!! BLUE! Blue, wake up! Please! C'mon! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you! Oh God, this time I've done it. / [[Dave puts his jacket under Blue's head as a pillow. Blue's eyes open.]]
/ Blue: My God... it's full of stars...
/ Dave: What???
/ Blue: Kubrick is SO... http://crfh.net/d/20020211.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | [[The guy from the tree has come down. Dave is helping Blue up.]]
/ Guy: Any problem?
/ Dave: Yes! Could you help me get her to a hospital?
/ Blue: Hospital??? Damn, I don't need a hospital. I'm fine. I just ran into a tree... / Dave: What? No! We have to make sure that I... that you're fine.
/ Blue: I'm... http://crfh.net/d/20020212.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | Dave: Where are you going???
/ Blue: To my gramma's. I don't want your mom to worry, and I sure don't want her calling MY mom.
/ Dave: Won't your gramma worry and call your mom as well?
/ Blue: They don't speak to each other. Besides, I bet she's still not up yet... I'll just get in with my key. / Dave:... http://crfh.net/d/20020213.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | [[Roger is polishing Fluffy]]
/ Lily: CUUUTE! / Lily: So, what's the name for this little one?
/ Roger: Fluffy.
/ Lily: Sure it is! And where did you get it?
/ Roger: It followed me home! / [[Lily looks at the bottom of Fluffy]]
/ Lily: Then why does it have a label that says "Property of the Staltworth... http://crfh.net/d/20020214.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | Roger: GAAAAH! Damnation nation!
/ Lily: Tsk, tsk. If you wanted a rock THAT badly, why didn't you just go to a pet store?
/ Roger: I DID NOT steal it! / Lily: Yeah right. So you have NEVER seen that label.
/ Roger: I respect my pets' privacy, thank you very much!
/ Lily: Well, you're gonna have to return... http://crfh.net/d/20020215.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | Thadeus: I don't understand, Madame. You're going to let this young man walk away without retaliation?
/ Mike's mom: Thadeus, have I ever told you how I ended up marrying Mr. Green?
/ Thadeus: A weakness for bald men, hopefully?
/ Mike's mom: No. He was after me, and I was only mildly interested. But my... http://crfh.net/d/20020216.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | Mike: Whoa. Thad, should I fetch the horse tranquilizers or just let you continue your scary poinging?
/ Thadeus: I just thought I'd switch from the environment-offending spray freshener to the natural thing, sir.
/ Mike: Riiiiiight. Listen, did you take those things to the delivery service?
/ Thadeus:... http://crfh.net/d/20020217.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | [[Dave walks along kicking a can.]]
/ < http://crfh.net/d/20020218.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | Imaginary floating wiser April: April... what... did you... just DO???
/ April: Not you again.
/ Imaginary floating wiser April: Why did you tell him that? Are you trying to crush his dreams or something?
/ April: Hey, you can't crush what is already crushed. / April: I feel sorry for Dave, but it was... http://crfh.net/d/20020219.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | Blue: [[thought]] Man, this is no good... / Blue: [[thought]] No good at ALL. / [[She start cutting her hair]] http://crfh.net/d/20020220.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | Dave's mom: Where were you??? You missed lunch! You could have called me, you know!
/ Dave: Ehrm. Sorry, I lost track of the time. / Blue: Hey. April called. She seemed upset about something, so I think you better call her back. / Dave: What happened to your hair?
/ Blue: "Happened"? Thanks a LOT. Does... http://crfh.net/d/20020221.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | [[Dave's calling April on the phone]]
/ Dave: Hey, April, I'm...
/ April: HOW COULD YOU?
/ Dave: Uh?
/ April: Sorry. First, I want to apologize for saying that Margaret wouldn't give a damn. That was mean.
/ Dave: Oh? Ah, don't worry. I thought you were in a bad mood. / April: Ok. Now that it's taken care... http://crfh.net/d/20020222.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | Lily: [[peering out the window]] There's a guy out there with some sort of package... / [[Roger's father zooms past Roger]]
/ Roger's father: GANGWAY! It's a Christmas present from your MOM! / Roger: [[holding a package]] Uuh... thank you, Dad...
/ Roger's dad: [[off-panel]] *sob*
/ Lily: Either he really... http://crfh.net/d/20020225.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | [[Margaret lines up her boxing gloves]] / [[Margaret drives her fist into a punching bag -- a heavy bag]]
/ Margaret: < http://crfh.net/d/20020226.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | Margaret: So, what brings you here to cardiobologna headquarters?
/ April: I wanted to apologize... and I also wanted to tell you I'd like you to come back to the apartment with me.
/ Margaret: Really? How come? I thought you were fed up with my attitude...
/ [[Margaret launches a spin-kick at the bag,... http://crfh.net/d/20020227.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | [[Closeup on Margaret, sitting and talking]]
/ Margaret: On the other hand, I'm kind of pissed at Dave, too. A bit. Sometimes I feel like he blackmailed me into accepting his help. I'd be a lot less stressed if he just let me figure this out without worrying all the time about something happening to him.
/ Margaret:... http://crfh.net/d/20020228.html |
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