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| crfh.net/d/20010206.html | [[Restaurant]] / Mike: Guys! Look at this! / Dave: What? / Mike: An octopus with an arm instead of a tentacle! / Mike: It was here just a second ago! / Dave: Have you been handling the blue mushrooms again? / Roger: I see a blond fish with glasses. / {{Part of the "Aquarium" storyline}} |
| crfh.net/d/20010207.html | [[Restaurant]] / Mike: I KNOW what I saw. It was an octopus with a human left arm, instead of a tentacle. / Dave: UH-HUH. / Mike: We've seen some pretty strange things since our Misery Journey, so why don't you believe this? / Dave: Okay, how did an octopus get an arm instead of a tentacle? Was it by by a mutant... |
| crfh.net/d/20010208.html | [[Restaurant]] / Dave, Mike: WHAT??? / Roger: Aliens! It makes PERFECT SENSE! / Roger: "When we fell asleep on the Misery Journey, aliens beamed Mike up to their ship along with an octopus and performed a dual transplant..." / Mike: Did they also pluck an eyeball from a nearsighted man and implant it in your... |
| crfh.net/d/20010209.html | [[Restaurant]] / Roger: What do I say if I ever meet the one-eyed man? / Dave: So why would aliens transplant Mike's arm with an octopus tentacle and put a nearsighted man's eye in your hand? / Roger: Lots of reasons: Medical Experimentation; Playing God; Messing with our Geen Pool... / Dave: Nothing Good on... |
| crfh.net/d/20010210.html | [[Restaurant]] / Mike: So how did the aliens give Dave laser-vision? / Roger: A killer-robot. / Dave: Huh? / Roger: Well, it makes sense. If something happened the aliens would want to destroy any evidence of their work so they implant a laser in his head along with a control unit to take over if that happens. / Dave:... |
| crfh.net/d/20010211.html | [[Restaurant]] / Mike: Hah hah! You don't fool me. I really saw an octopus with a left arm. / Dave: Well, have fun communing with the calamari. / Mike: Yeah, fine, leave. I won't share the test answers with you then. / Dave: So was it much trouble putting that plastic arm on the octopus? / Custodian: Nah. Sometimes... |
| crfh.net/d/20010212.html | [[Outside]] / Roger: You look strange. Something's missing. / Dave: The bad luck? Yessss my friend, seems like the tables are turning for me. And tonight I'm asking Margaret out on a date.... / Dave: It's gonna be perfect! She's gonna wear a silky red dress, and I'm gonna take her to a nice restaurant, with... |
| crfh.net/d/20010213.html | [[Outside]] / Dave: Roger? Roger, just... just who the hell is THAT? / Roger: Some squared-jaw macho yuppie with a convertible against whom you don't have a chance? / Dave: I can SEE that, man! Those are the obvious FACTS! What I mean is, is that her boyfriend or what??? / Roger: Gee, what a NUT! How am I supposed... |
| crfh.net/d/20010214.html | [[Outside]] / Joe: Don't look know, but there's a brown-haired guy standing there watching you... / Margaret: Mmh. I know. He follows me everywhere. / Joe: Sounds like a stalker. Want me to beat him up a little? / Margaret: Naah. He's my friend. He's just a little obsessive... / Joe: Oh. Well, that's actually... |
| crfh.net/d/20010215.html | [[Outside]] / Dave: What are they saying? I can't hear a thing... / Roger: Mmh... let me engage my lip reading hability... / Roger: He's telling her he has a really big gun and he's asking her if she wants to see it. / Dave: WHAT? Oh, no! Don't go, Margaret... / Roger: Don't freak out... maybe they're actually... |
| crfh.net/d/20010216.html | [[Outside]] / Dave: It has finally happened, Roger. I waited for too long to win Margaret's heart, and now someone has just beat me to it. / Roger: Well, what did you expect? She's a major babe, after all. The moment she gets nicer you get a lot of competition. / Dave: Well, I've been here always, nicer or... |
| crfh.net/d/20010217.html | [[Boys' Apartment]] / Dave: But we knew it all the time, didn't we, Chester? We knew she was nothing but a sweet, sweet dream... *sigh* / Roger: Don't be so negative... she still owes you a date. / Dave: No. I promised myself if she started loving someone else, I'd step out of the way. / Roger: WHAT? Man, what... |
| crfh.net/d/20010218.html | [[Hall, Girls' Apartment]] / Dave: Hi Marsha... Margaret isn't home, is she? / Marsha: Nope. Want to wait for her inside? / Dave: Say... I want to ask you something. Has Margaret mentioned something about a... boyfriend lately? / Marsha: Noooo! You mean...? / Marsha: EEEEEEEEEEE! Oh I'm so HAPPY for you guys!... |
| crfh.net/d/20010220.html | [[Girls' Apartment, Red Green's office]] / Dave: I guess I will have to go through the humiliation of asking her myself, then... / Marsha: What? NO! I'm the jealousy stalking expert here, so listen... / Marsha: Whatever you do, you should not be involved... you need another person to find out for you. Ooh,... |
| crfh.net/d/20010221.html | [[Red Green's Office]] / Marsha: Mr. Green? / Red: Eep! / Red: Must... follow orders... from the curvy silky one... / Marsha: Oh. So you ARE Red Green, Private Eye? / Red: Yes. And I assume you are the one who's been hoarding all the sex appeal in the city? / Marsha: Nice to meet you... wait. Is that a tentacle... |
| crfh.net/d/20010222.html | [[Red Green's Office]] / Red: So, this guy wants to know if is girls cheats on him. Sounds easy enough. / Marsha: Well, it's not that easy. / Red: Look honey, people pay me everyday to follow other people around and get their hearts broken. It IS that easy. / Marsha: If it was THAT simple, I'd do it myself. / Red:... |
| crfh.net/d/20010223.html | [[Outside]] / Red: Mmmh... yeah, that looks like the kind of chick who would carry a gun in her purse... / Red: I already feel sorry for the poor bastard who hired me... and here comes the tricky part of following someone... / Red: Stealing someone's bike and trying to keep up with the car. Ba-psssch. / Someone:... |
| crfh.net/d/20010224.html | [[Outside Joe's House]] / Red: Never go to a CAR fight with a BICYCLE! / Red: Nice car, nicer house. Since I'm here I should look for some dirt... this guy is a prime candidate for blackmail. / {{Part of the "The Adversary - Red Green Noir" storyline}} |
| crfh.net/d/20010225.html | [[Outside Joe's House]] / / {{Part of the "The Adversary - Red Green Noir" storyline}} |
| crfh.net/d/20010226.html | [[Outside Joe's House]] / April: Mr. Green! What are you doing down there? / Red: Hello, Miss April... just taking a little rest from jumping over the wall, being chased by a beast from Hell, jumping over the wall again, and landing face first. / April: This is the terrible beast? What a precious little thing!... |
| crfh.net/d/20010227.html | [[Joe's House]] / Red: All right, I'm inside the house... now to look for the dirt, and oh yeah, the lovebirds... / Red: Whoa...! / Red: Pfft. You got me worried for sec there, handsome. / Margaret: Move and assimilate bullets, pal. / {{Part of the "The Adversary - Red Green Noir" storyline}} |
| crfh.net/d/20010228.html | [[Joe's House]] / Margaret: All right, start talking! Why were you following me? What do you want? / Red: Mmh, isn't that a big gun for a chick like you? / Margaret: WHAT did you say??? / Red: Also, it's unloaded. I can tell looking down the barrel... / Margaret: Looking down the barrel? Yeah right. You can't... |
| crfh.net/d/20010301.html | [[Joe's House]] / Joe: What's going on here? / Margaret: He was following us! / Red: C'mon. Why would I follow you? If a rich fellow dates a married woman, that's none of my business. / Margaret: What? I'm not marred! And we're not dating! We are just members of the same gun club! / Red: Oops! Looks like I got... |
| crfh.net/d/20010302.html | [[Red Green's Office]] / Dave: This... this is outrageously RIDICULOUS! / Red: Yeah, I know it went up a bit. I had to charge an extra fee because of the dog. / Dave: But it almost DOUBLED! I'm NOT paying this! / Red: Look, pal, I did my job and I want my money. When my tentacle gets persuasive on people, people... |
| crfh.net/d/20010303.html | [[Boys' Apartment]] / Dave: DAMMIT! / Dave: OOOW! OWWWWW!!! OW! / Roger: Contrarily to popular belief, walls don't behave better if you hit them, Dave. / Dave: Shut up! Don't you see I'm happy? / Roger: It's quite obvious. / Dave: Yeah, I'm happy because Margaret is not dating that yuppie! And I'm bummed because... |
| crfh.net/d/20010304.html | [[Outside, Boys' Bathroom]] / Chester: sniff sniff / Vanilla: Meow. / Chester: Sniff sinnf / Chester: Arrerer / Vanilla's Owner: Vanilla! Stop fooling around and come here already! / Dave: Eeh. Get out. I, umh, need a cold shower... / Roger: Grrr... why do I have to suffer you not having a life? / {{Part of the "The... |
| crfh.net/d/20010305.html | [[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: What's with the Depressotron 4000? / Roger: Oh, he's just bummed because a certain sonofapickle bastard took all the money he was saving for his date with Margaret. / Dave: Okay, I said that, but the adjectives are Roger's. / Roger: Gee, sue me for being creative.... / Mike: So you... |
| crfh.net/d/20010306.html | [[Boys' Apartment]] / Roger: So why don't you ask her out right away? / Dave: Oh, I dunno... maybe if I wait a little, I... / Roger: ACK! Face it! You're a poor moneyless pathetic guy! This is who you are and she's gonna have to take it or leave it! Now go get her before someone else does first!!!! / Dave: *Urk*... |
| crfh.net/d/20010307.html | [[Girls' Apartment]] / Dave: Hi! Saaay Margaret, I was thinking about our date, and if you're not very busy... eh, if I'm interrupting something I can come back later... / Margaret: No, go ahead. / Dave: As I was saying... uh, maybe we could, if you're not, and this friday, stretch, and ohmygodfun, if you... |
| crfh.net/d/20010308.html | [[Boys' Apartment]] / Roger: So? / Dave: It's official. Saturday is the big night. / Roger: All right! See? That wasn't so hard after all, was it? / Dave: Well... / Dave: Actually, that was the EASY part. Now here comes the really hard part. / Roger: Uh? / Dave: I need to ask Mike a favor. / Roger: Wow, you must really... |
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