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show: [ show full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ] [[Classroom]] / Marsha: I'm glad you made it to the final, Mike... but aren't you in some major trouble now? / Mike: Mmh. Maybe. But after all, my blood test should testify I was not DUI. / Mike: Maybe I should sue someone for sticking me in an insecure cell with less than solid walls... / April: Heh. Did you... [[Eddie's Apartment]] / Mike: Hey Eddie. It's Mike. Remember your date with Sexy Blondie Wonder? / Eddie: Mmh. Mike, do you know what time it IS? / Mike: Yep. Time to get ready for it. / Eddie: What? RIGHT NOW??? / Mike: It's never too early for some sugar, right? Heheheheh... / Eddie: But I...! / Phone: *click* / Door:... [[Boys' Apartment]] / Roger: So you finally woke up... / Dave: Yeah. I slept for 16 hours, but I recovered by long-term memory / Dave: What's that thing? / Roger: It's a mechanical arm for Mike. He's going home soon and he doesn't want the Ultimate Evil to know about his tentacle. / Dave: Why? / Roger: Because the... [[Boys' Apartment]] / Dave: You DID hypnotize him! You have a pocket watch right there! / Mike: Pfft! It goes to show you how paranoid you are. This is NOT a pocket watch! / Dave: It IS, too! / Mike: It's NOT! Does this LOOK like a pocket watch to you? Huh? / Dave: Stop wriggling it around, I can't... / Mike: Believe... [[Girls' Apartment]] / Marsha: Woooo! I'm going home soon! Yeah! / April: Wow, you really look forward to it. / Marsha: Of course I do! You should too! / April: Nah, I'm staying. My parents are gonna be traveling, and sometimes I just don't fit in... / Marsha: Aw. Now I feel bad... / April: Why? Margaret's staying... [[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: Yesss! It's ready! / Roger: Yup. Try it on. The sensors are aligned with your suction cups for control. / Mike: It looks very good. Now the only thing I need is a latex glove. / Roger: Try closing your fist. / Mike: Wow! This damn thing is GREAT, Roger! / Roger: Do I rock or what? Now... [[Boys' Apartment]] / Marsha: It looks very good, Mike. / Mike: Yeah, but it's very hard to control it. I guess I'll have to keep it hidden most of the time. / Marsha: Pfft. What's the matter with you, Mike? You're never this negative. / Mike: I guess I'm kind of depressed... / Marsha: Why do you say that, honey? / Mike:... [[Girls' Apartment]] / Marsha: Well, this is it, girls. I'll see you next year... have a great time! / April: You too! Cook a lot, because we're still not letting you put a foot inside the kitchen! / Margaret: Yes, happy holidays, and thank your parents for getting a major pest away from us! / Marsha: BWAAAAAAAAAAH!... [[Girls' Apartment]] / Margaret: Sooo... why are you not going home? I know I would... / April: It's kind of complicated... / Margaret: You don't want to tell me, do you? / April: Not really. / Margaret: April's got a SE-cret! April's got a SEEEEcret! / April: Oh yeah? Margaret wants me to go home so she can be... [[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: Rejoice, losers! I'm out of here! / Dave: Good! Now I can have my happiness seizure... / Roger: C'mon guys. Stop acting macho and admit your true feelings. / Roger: We ARE good friends... we ARE gonna miss each other, and when something funny happens to us, we're gonna think "Boy,... [[Mike's Garden]] / Mike: *sigh* / {{Part of the "Holidays" storyline}} [[Mike's Garden]] / Blue: !!! / Blue: HEEY!!! / Blue: How are you??? I'm so happy to see you! / Mike: What, Mom's been giving you all the punishment reserved for me? / Blue: Exactly! / {{Part of the "Holidays" storyline}} [[Boys' Apartment]] / Dave: YESSSSSS!!! Semester's over, Mike is soooo far away... I can finally relax... / Roger: Relax??? Are you kidding? This is a very stressing time of the year. What about Christmas shopping, greeting postcards, and such? / Dave: When are YOU going home? / Roger: Eeyep. Nobody likes people... [[Street]] / Roger: Aaah. This is the life... not a worry in the world, and we can spend all day together if we feel like it... / Diana: Yes... at least till tomorrow night. / Roger: But I thought you were gonna stay a few more days! / Diana: Roger... I want to spend as much time as I can with my dad. You never... [[Girls' Apartment]] / Dave: So, what are you girls doing today? / April: We're gonna look for a small Christmas tree to decorate. Want to tag along? / Margaret: I want a Christmas CACTUS! / Dave: I suppose that'd be nice. I mean, it's not like I'm gonna have my own tree this year. / Margaret: You're not going... [[Marsha's House]] / Marsha: OoOoOooOooOoOooOoOoOhhh!!! What are you doing? What? / Marsha's Dad: Uuh... just a boring salad, honey... / Marsha: Let me HELP! / Marsha's Dad: Eh, thank you, but I'm almost done! / Marsha: Please? / Marsha's Dad: Well... / Marsha: Pretty pleeeeease??? / Marsha's Dad: I... I suppose... / Marsha's... [[Street]] / Margaret: Okay! The first thing on our list is a huge spikey CACTUS! / April: Margaret, we're getting a TREE. Ooh, look at THAT one! / Margaret: That's what I said. A cactus. / April: Tree! / Margaret: Okay, okay. A cactus it is, then... / {{Part of the "Holidays" storyline}} [[Christmas Tree Store]] / Dave: Whoa. Look at these prices. It seems like we're gonna have to get that Christmas cactus after all. / Margaret: No WAY. I saw Mary-Ann buying a cactus at the other store. / Dave: Again with the Mary-Ann thing? Boy, you really... / April: I FOUND ONE! / April: There's only one liiiitle... [[Girls' Apartment]] / Dave: Helium and balloons! / Margaret: Aw. Now THIS is an upside-down Christmas Tree! / April: It's so... so US! / {{Part of the "Holidays" storyline}} [[Mike's Garden]] / Mike: Expresso! Did you miss me? He looks to be in good shape. / Blue: Of course he missed you... he was sad for two weeks. He only felt better after he ate a jar of cookies. By the way, how did you do last night? / Mike: Last night? / Blue: Yeah, your little "chat" with Mom... / Mike: Ugly... [[Mike's Garden]] / Blue: Soooo... are you gonna be a good brother and give me Dave's phone number so I can wish him a sex... um, Merry Christmas? / Mike: But you already have it! / Blue: Surely he didn't stay in your stinking apartment for the holidays... / Mike: Well, yeah. I don't think he could pay for the... [[Boys' Apartment]] / Dave: We're having a Marx Brothers movie marathon in a while. Want to join us? / Roger: Ah gee, I can't. I'm leaving tonight and I have to deliver a Christmas gift first. / Dave: What kind of gift? / Roger: You know, the usual Christmassy stuff. Let's see... a framed pic of my dad and sister,... [[Girls' Apartment]] / Roger: Well, I'm off. I'll see you guys after the holidays. By the way, they delivered this a while ago... I think it's from your parents. / Dave: Neat, thanks! Probably a card... / Dave: Uuh? Whoa! What...? / Margaret: Well, well. Looks like someone's either buying us all very expensive... [[Girls' Apartment]] / Dave: Wow. This is so... unexpected... And we, we already had plans. / Margaret: Plans? Don't make me laugh. All we'll have will be pathetic attempts to forget that everybody out there is going home, while we sit and eat trkey sandwiches and pretend it's a Christmas dinner... / April:... [[Girls' Apartment]] / Dave: Well, this is it. Say, can you take care of Chester while I'm gone? Now that I think about it, my mom doesn't like pets... / Margaret: Sure! / Dave: *sigh* This is... harder than I thought. I wish there was a way we could spend the holidays together... Are you sure you don't want... [[Boys' Apartment]] / Marsha: Merry Christmas Mike. / Mike: Awww thanks sweetie / T-shirt: Property of Marsha Hart / Mike: Ooooh goodie. / Marsha: I even got you matching undies. / {{Part of the "Guest Strips" storyline}} [[Marsha's House]] / Marsha: Ooh! I love this tree! Where'd you get it Daddy? It smells so fresh! / Marsha's Dad: I didn't feel like paying the outrageous dealer prices this year so I got it straight from the woods. / Marsha's Mom: Honey, where's the .22? The "Snow White" syndrome is acting up again. / Marsha:... [[Girls' Apartment]] / Dave: I'm going out. You want to join me? / April: Nah... I just got a tape in and fresh cup of coffee... / Dave: Uh... I was going out to stretch my legs. You want to join me? / Margaret: Sure! Let me get my coat. Coming? / Dave: Right behind you! / {{Part of the "Guest Strips" storyline... [[Outside]] / Margaret: Must have snowed... / Dave: Yeah. / Margaret: Dave, why do you keep bothering? / Dave: Because I love you. I always have. / Margaret: But why? / Dave: Does it matter? / Margaret: To me it does... / Margaret: You've been killed. / Dave: I came back... / Margaret: Beaten by Mike. / Dave: It was a misunderstanding... / Margaret:... [[Outside]] / Margaret: It's not a cactus but it is rather pretty. / Dave: Yeah... but few things in the world are prettier than you. Merry Christmas, Margaret. / Margaret: Merry Christmas Dave. / {{Part of the "Guest Strips" storyline}}

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