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|Time Warp, Part 1||Priest: ...wasn't a particularly good man. In fact, most people would label him a leech on society. A cancer which slowly and consistently drained the life of everyone around him. My only wish today is that his suffering... / Dave: This priest is mildly entertaining. / Evan: I'm surprised the Cancerous...|
|Time Warp, Part 2||Kristian: Ok, gather 'round children, let me tell you a tale of mystery and intrigue that spans 5 decades. Let me explain what happened through the use of a classic film device, the flashback. / Kristian: You see, it all began a few weeks ago when I built the Wiips360 console... / Kristian: After...|
|Time Warp, Part 3||Kristian: Looking down on the most famous festival in history, I knew I could not pass up experiencing it first-hand. So I wandered into the crowd, hoping to embrace an atmosphere of love and peace. I quickly discovered that contrary to popular belief, hippies are an angry bunch with a zero tolerance...|
|Time Warp, Part 4||Kristian: 60's Kristian explained he had traveled back 4 years ago, and became stranded after his Wiips360 broke. Since then, he's survived by posing as a hippie and eating the scraps of brownies they left behind. Eating hippie refuse wasn't how I wanted my double to live the rest of his life, so I...|
|Lil' Jay||Kristian: ...but sis, why not-- / Leslie: No! / Kristian: I swear, it'll only take an hour tops-- / Leslie: No! / Kristian: and little Jill will be fine, I promi-- / Leslie: NO!! / Leslie: You are not dressing up my newborn as a tiny Jay Leno and using her to interview celebrities for your TV pilot. / Kristian:...|
|Did You Start This Action?||Brian: Windows Vista is looking pretty sharp. I like the transparent window effect.
|Vista Blues||Kristian: Why Vista, why? Why are you trying to be something you're not? / Kristian: The glossy finish. The transparent windows. The super-sized icons. All those animations! Why are you trying so hard to be a MAC? / Kristian: Huh?<
|HL2 Episode 1: Director's Cut||Alyx: Oh wow! Holy sh-- That was amazing. I can't believe you took down an airship by yourself. Jesus Gordon, you're a real terror... / Alyx: ..and my very own super-man. You know Gordon, I think it's time I thank you for all that flashlight shinning you've done for me today.|
|Kris' Story, Part I||Kris: Guys, I have a confession to make. I have an ulterior motive for bringing you to Denny's.
/ Evan: We're not here just for the low-priced, high-quality meals?
|Kris' Story, Part II||Kris: Guys, I need your help! / Dave: Kris? You got wanged up already? / Kris: Not exactly. There was a problem with the surgery. / Kris: The doctor gave me a third, central boob instead of removing the original two! / Dave: Shit Eva, you know what this reminds me of... / Dave & Evan: Quaid... start...|
|Kris' Story, Part III||Dave: So why didn't you flip out on the doc after you woke up from surgery?
/ Kris: I would have, but with cash being scarce, I had to go with a slightly cheaper surgeon...
|The Second Leaving||Jesus: OUTTA MY WAY, PONCHO!
|Prey Has Sacred Chambers||Tommy: Fuck, now where the fucking fuck is this fucking portal going to fucking take me? / Tommy: Man, this organic ship is really freaking me out. I don't know if this thing's a door, another toxic waste valve, or worse. But this place does smell oddly familiar... / Jen: Tommy!? Is that you? / Tommy:...|
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