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| Number 181: Unsupervised Drinking | [[in the bar]]
/ Martin: So you're going to be writing these romance novels full-time now?
/ Jim: Yeah, but I got a buncha side projects I'm workin' on too.
/ Faye: [[With a shot-glass in hand]] Aah. One down, one too many to go! / Jim: I'm workin' on a short story which is gonna be kinda like "The Old Man and the Sea" only with weldin' torches an' rebar instead of fishin' lines an' tuna.
/ Faye: Delicious bourbon
/ Finest of all the spirits
/ A drunken haiku / Jim: An' then there's my movie script, which is gonna be like "Easy Rider" only with dumptrucks instead of motorcycles.
/ Martin: The world needs a road movie about dump trucks. They're the symbol of American freedom.
/ Faye: [[half under the table, stacking the shot glasses]] I'm making a pee-rah-mid! / Jim: American freedom, an' bein' able to dump stuff on pursuin' police cars.
/ Martin: Damn straight!
/ Faye: [[From under the table]] Who's straight? I can't see straight. Oh hello mister floor, fancy meeting you down here. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=181 |
| Number 182: Fayeku | Jim: Wellp, time fer me to get goin'. Got a busy day tomorrow of thinkin' up new euphemisms fer jizzin' on a lady's corset.
/ Martin: Heh, good luck.
/ Faye: Sticky, pearly white
/ alights upon her corset
/ and leaves telltale stains / Marten: Come on, Haiku Princess. Visiting hours with the floor are over for today.
/ Faye: Aww but we were makin' friends! /
/ Marten: Bartender, could I get a glass of water for my pickled friend here?
/ Bartender: Sure thing.
/ Faye: Heeee, pickle is a funny word. Are you implyin' that I can't hold my liquor? / Marten: No, you seem to be holding your liquor pretty well. The problem is that you're currently holding enough of it to kill and preserve the remains of a rhinocerous.
/ Faye: His life on the veldt
/ cut short by cruel Jim Beam
/ Poor Rhinoceros http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=182 |
| Number 183: No More Clown-Rap | Marten: How're you feeling?
/ Faye: My body is demonstratin' a remarkable ability to not sober up. / Faye: Maybe I should have another drink. Y'know, send one more down to see what the other five are doin' down there in my stomach.
/ Marten: Bad idea. Beeblebrox's Gambit always does more harm than good. That's drunk-logic. / Faye: Drunk logic?
/ Marten: You know, things that seem like really good ideas when you're drunk, but are actually really dumb.
/ Faye: Hee hee! Like pickin' a fight with a ninja, or listenin' to Insane Clown Posse! / Faye: Picking a fight with a ninja who listens to ICP would be pretty much the worst thing you could do.
/ Marten: Nunchaku made from two Faygo bottles, super-baggy ninja pants, katana with "JUGGALO NINJAZ" engraved on the blade. He'd behead you while grunting homophobic lyrics about "Syko Klown Killa Samuraiz." http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=183 |
| Questionable Content Number 184: xSnoreCorex | Marten: Congratulations, you made it all the way home without falling over or walking into any telephone poles.
/ Faye: And now I'ma walk into the couch an' fall over onto it! / Marten: So you're still pretty trashed, huh.
/ Faye: Only a lil' bit. An' by a "lil' bit" I mean *yes completely*. / Faye: Y'know, yer such a nice boy, Marten. Always takin' care of me an' stuff. I been meaning to thank you.
/ Marten: Oh uh well how exactly are you, uh, planning to thank me? / Marten: Oh, by passing out and drooling on my shoulder. That's exactly what I was hoping for.
/ Faye: ZzzZzZZZzzzz snrgle http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=184 |
| Number 184: xSnoreCortex | Marten: Congratulations, you made it all the way home without falling over or walking into any telephone poles.
/ Faye: And now I'ma walk into the couch an' fall over onto it! / Marten: So you're still pretty trashed, huh.
/ Faye: Only a lil' bit. An' by a "lil' bit" I mean yes completely. / Faye: Y'know, yer such a nice boy, Marten. Always takin' care of me an' stuff. I been meanin' to thank you.
/ Marten: Oh uh well how exactly are you, uh, planning to thank me? / Marten: Oh, by passing out an drooling on my shoulder. That's exactly what I was hoping for.
/ Faye: ZzzZzZZZzzzz snrgle http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=184 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Title text: Atheism}} / [[Faye rests on Marten's shoulder]]
/ Pintsize: Aww, did she pass out on you?
/ Marten: Yeah, but I really can't complain. It's kinda nice having her sleepin' on me like this. / [[Faye slips and headbutts Marten's crotch]]
/ < http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=185 |
| Number 185: Atheism | Pintsize: Aww, did she pass out on you?
/ Marten: Yeah, but I can't really complain. It's kinda nice having her sleepin' on me like this. /
/ [[Faye's head falls hard into Marten's lap]]
/ < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=185 |
| Questions | {{Title text: Questions}} / [[Faye wakes up in a bed]]
/ Faye: Enngh...why does it feel as though a badger made his burrow in my brain last night and then died in it? / Faye: Wait, why am I in Marten's room? Why am I not wearing any pants?! / [[Faye enters living room, buttoning her pants]]
/ Faye: Marten, exactly what transpired last night? The last thing I remember is- why the hell do you have a Ziploc baggie full of ice resting on your crotch?
/ Marten: I'm trying to get the swelling to go down. You really did quite a number on my manly-bits last night. / [[Faye begins choking Marten]]
/ Marten: Gack...can't...breath...must...rephrase...poorly-worded...sentence...
/ Faye: You have ten seconds before I snap your head right off and bicycle-kick it out the window into oncoming traffic. This had better be a rephrasing on par with the Gettysburg Address. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=186 |
| Number 186: Questions | TITLE BAR: Number 186: Questions / PANEL 1 / [[Marten's Bedroom]] / Faye: Enngh... why does it feel as though a badger made his burrow in my brain last night and then died in it? / PANEL 2 / Faye: Wait, why am I in Marten's room? Why am I not wearing any pants?! / PANEL 3 / [[Faye and Marten's Living Room]] / Faye: Marten, exactly what transpired last night? The last thing I remember is - why the hell do you have a ziploc baggie full of ice resting on your crotch? / Marten: I'm just trying to get the swelling to go down. You really did quite a number on my manly-bits last night. / PANEL 4 / Marten: Gack...can't...breathe...must...rephrase...poorly-worded... previous...sentence.. . / Faye: You have ten seconds before I snap your head right off and bicycle-kick it out of the window into oncoming traffic. This had better be a reprhrasing on par with the Gettysburg Address. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=186 |
| Number 186: Questions | [[Faye is lying in bed with a hangover]]
/ Faye: Why does it feel as though a badger made his burrow in my brain last night and then dies in it? / Faye: [[Sitting up and lifting the sheets]]: Wait, why am I in Marten's room? Why am I not wearing any pants?! / [[In the main room of the apartment, Marten sits on the couch with a bag of ice on his crotch]]
/ Faye: Marten, what exactly transpired last night? The last thing i remember is- Why the hell do you have a ziploc baggie of ice resting on your crotch?
/ Marten: I'm just trying to get the swelling to go down. You really did quite a number on my manly-bits last night. / [[Faye is trying to strangle Marten]]
/ Marten: Gack... can't... breath... must... rephrase... poorly-worded... previous... sentence...
/ Faye: You have ten seconds before i snap your head right off and bicycle-kick it out the window into oncoming traffic. This had better be a rephrasing on par with the Gettysburg Address. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=186# |
| Number 187: Honorable Bottoms | [[Kitchen]]
/ Faye: So you are saying that I passed out, headbutted you in the groin, and then vomited all over your lap and the couch?
/ Marten: Yeah, pretty much. While everything was in the washing machine, I put you to bed and zonked out on the floor. / Faye: What happened to my pants, then? Why were they on the floor when I woke up this morning?
/ Marten: Well uh I did have to kinda take them off. There was some barf on them and I didn't want it to get all over my bed so I put them in the laundry too. I couldn't exactly get them back on you while you were sleeping, so... / Marten: I mean I didn't take advantage of you or anything. I think that is basically the worst thing a dude can do. I couldn't help but see you in an underwear-clad state, but I promise I am an honorable dude!
/ Faye: It is okay, Marten. I trust you. Besides, it was my fault for causing this mess in the first place. I should be the one apologizing. I am sorry, and I will not let it happen again. / Marten: Aw no apology needed, Faye. I'm just glad you're not pissed at me. I gotta admit, though, those dancing alligator underpants are really goddamned cute.
/ Faye: Sigh. Give a boy an inch, and he will use that inch to get a peek at your bottom. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=187 |
| Number 187: Honorable Bottoms | Faye: So you are saying that I passed out, headbutted you in the groin, and then vomited all over your lap and the couch?
/ Marten: Yeah, pretty much. While everything was in the washing machine, I put you to bed and zonked out on the floor. / Faye: What happened to my pants, then? Why were they on the floor when I woke up this morning?
/ Marten: Well uh I did have to kinda take them off. There was some barf on them and I didn't want it to get all over my bed so I put them in the laundry too. I couldn't exactly get them back on while you were sleeping, so... / Marten: I mean I didn't take advantage of you or anything, I think that is basically the worst thing a dude can do. I couldn't help but see you in an underwear-clad state, but I promise I am an honorable dude!
/ Faye: It is okay, Marten. I trust you. Besides, it was my fault for causing this mess in the first place. I should be the one apologizing. I am sorry, and I will not let it happen again. / Marten: Aw no apology needed, Faye. I'm just glad you're not pissed at me. I gotta admit, though, those dancing alligator underpants are really goddamned cute.
/ Faye: Sigh. Give a boy an inch, and he will use that inch to get a peek at your bottom. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=187 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Dora: Hey squishypants, what's with the frown?
/ Faye: I am an inconsiderate, drunken buffoon. / Dora: Aww, what happened?
/ Faye: I drank way too much last night, passed out and got sick all over the place. Also I headbutted Marten in his boy-parts. / Dora: Ouch. Was he mad?
/ Faye: That is the thing, he was not upset! I mean he probably was not thrilled, but he cleaned everything up and put me in his bed to sleep it off while he slept out on the floor. I feel like I should do something nice for him to make up for it, but I do not know what. / Dora: Honey, I think the only thing that'd make up for all he's done for you would be to grant him unrestricted access to one of your orifices.
/ Faye: I am going to pretend that you are referring to letting him pick my nose for me. Thpppt bleah. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=188 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Number 188: Diggin' For Gold / [[Dora and Faye in Coffee of Doom]]
/ Dora: Hey Squishypants, what's with the frown?
/ Faye: I am an inconsiderate, drunken buffoon. / Dora: Aww, what happened?
/ Faye: I drank way too much last night, passed out and got sick all over the place. Also I headbutted Marten in his boy-parts. / Dora: Ouch. Was he mad?
/ Faye: That is the thing, he was not upset! I mean he probably was not thrilled, but he cleaned everything up and put me in his bed to sleep it of while he slept out on the floor. I feel like I should do something nice for him to make up for it, but I do not know what. / Dora: Honey, I think the only thing that'd make up for all he's done for you would be to grant him unrestricted access to one of your orifices.
/ Faye: I am going to pretend that you are refering to letting him pick my nose for me. Thpppt bleah. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=188 |
| Number 188: Diggin' For Gold | Dora: Hey squishypants, what's with the frown?
/ Faye: I am an inconsiderate, drunked buffoon. / Dora: Aww, what happened?
/ Faye: I drank way too much last night, passed out and got sick all over the place. Also I headbutten Marten in his boy-parts. / Dora: Ouch. Was he mad?
/ Faye: That is the thing, he was not upset! I mean he probably was not thrilled, but he cleaned everything up and put me in his bed to sleep it off while he slept out on the floor. I feel like I should do something nice for him to make up for it, but I do not know what. / Dora: Honey, I think the only thing that'd make up for all he's done for you would be to grant him unrestricted access to one of your orifices.
/ Faye: I am going to pretend that you are referring to letting him pick my nose for me. Thpppt bleah. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=188# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Steve: Oh man! Headbutted and barfed on in the space of 30 seconds. You poor bastard.
/ Marten: Yeah it basically sucked. She was like two inches from my lips when it happened, too. / Steve: Well, it's pretty obvious that she has a thing for you then, right?
/ Marten: I dunno, man. I mean we get along and stuff, but she's only really affectionate when she's drunk. I can't tell if she honestly likes me, or what.
/ Pintsize: It is hard to get a lady to evaluate to true. / Steve: Seems like she has some pretty substantial relationship issues.
/ Marten: Yeah, that's the other thing. I can't push it because I don't want her to freak out, you know? My only option is to play it cool and hope something eventually happens.
/ Pintsize: What would Henry Winkler do? / Steve: That probably isn't any easier to do now that you've seen her without her pants on, eh?
/ Marten: Dude, don't remind me. That ass must've given God a boner when he was sculpting it. Ennngh.
/ Pintsize: Wouldn't that be incest? Or is it more like a guy jacking off to hentai he drew himself? Hmm. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=189 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Comic #189 - WWHWD?}}
/ {{I use * to symbolize italics.}}
/ [[In Marten's kitchen. Marten is looking in the refridgerator.]]
/ Steve: Oh man! Headbutted and barfed on in the space of 30 seconds. You poor bastard.
/ Marten: Yeah it basically sucked. She was like *two inches* from my lips when it happened, too. / [[In the living room. Marten is handing a beer to Steve and holding another. Pintsize is standing on the back of the couch.]]
/ Steve: Well, it's pretty obvious that she has a thing for you then, right?
/ Marten: I dunno, man. I mean we get along and stuff, but she's only really affectionate when she's drunk. I can't tell if she honestly likes me, or what.
/ Pintsize: It is hard to get a lady to evaluate to true. / [[Steve and Marten now sitting on the couch; Steve is taking a drink and Marten has his arm draped across the back of the couch.]]
/ Steve: Seems like she has some pretty substantial relationship issues.
/ Marten: Yeah, that's the other thing. I can't push it because I don't want her to freak out, you know? My only option is to play it cool and hope something eventually happens.
/ Pintsize: What would Henry Winkler do? / [[Same setting; Steve put his drink down and is grinning.]]
/ Steve: That probably isn't any easier to do now that you've seen her without her pants on, eh?
/ Marten: Dude, don't remind me. That ass must've given *God* a boner when he was sculpting it. *Ennngh.*
/ Pintsize: Wouldn't that be incest? Or is it more like a guy jacking off to hentai he drew himself? Hmm. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=189 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{title text: Number 190: She's So Exasperating}} / [[Dora and Faye in Coffee of Doom. Dora is cleaning the window.]]
/ Dora: So, any ideas as to what you're going to do for Marten? Do they involve leather straps and riding crops?
/ Faye: Ha ha ha, you are a funny little sex pervert. I am still thinking. / Faye: Perhaps I could give him a hair-cut. He did mention that he wanted one a while back, and I could save him some money.
/ Dora: Mmmm. Pale, skinny indie-boy with short, tousled dark hair. He'd look hot like that. / Faye: Yeah, it'd look nice on him, I think.
/ Dora: Ah ha! Caught you out at last, and using a contraction no less! Admit it, Faye, you think he's a cutie-pants. / Faye: How is me saying he would look nice with shorter hair a declaration of some hidden attraction for him?!
/ Dora: I bet this is only the tip of the horny iceberg for you. Your subconscious probably makes mine look like a nunnery in Siberia by comparison. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=190 |
| Number 190: She's So Exasperating | [[In the Coffee of Doom]]
/ Dora: So, any ideas as to what you're going to do for Marten? Do they involve leather straps and riding crops?
/ Faye: Ha ha ha, you are a funny little sex pervert. I am still thinking. / Faye: Perhaps I could give him a hair-cut. He did mention that he wanted one a while back, and I could save him some money.
/ Dora: Mmmm. Pale, skinny indie-boy with short, tousled dark hair. He'd look hot like that. / Faye: Yeah, it'd look nice on him, I think.
/ Dora: Ah ha! Caught you out at last, and using a contraction no less! Admit it, Faye, you think he's a cutie-pants. / Faye: How is me saying he would look nice with shorter hair a declaration of some hidden attraction for him?!
/ Dora: I bet this is only the tip of the horny iceberg for you. You subconscious probably makes mine look like a nunnery in Siberia by comparison. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=190 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Number 191: Never Lean Back}} / [[Steve and Marten at a restaurant]]
/ Waitress (Ellen): And for you, sir?
/ Marten: I'll have a cheeseburger, medium rare, and a Guiness to drink, thanks. / Steve: Dude our waitress is hot! I'm gonna try and get her number.
/ Marten: I've never understood how you pull that off. You don't even know if she's single! / [[Steve leans back in his chair, knocking into the waitress, who then spills beer on him.]]
/ Steve: Watch and learn, buddy. Watch and lear-
/ < http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=191 |
| Number 191: Never Lean Back | [[Steve and Marten at a restaurant with a female server]]
/ Ellen: And for you, sir?
/ Marten: I'll have a cheeseburgher, medium rare, and a Guiness to drink, thanks. / [[Elen leaves]]
/ Steve: Dude, our waitress is hot! I'm gonna try and get her number.
/ Marten: I've never understood how you pulled that off. You don't even know if she's single! / Steve: [[Leaning back in his chair]] Watch and learn, buddy. Watch and lear--
/ < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=191 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Number 192: At Least She's Not A Ho-Ho}} / [[In the Restaurant]]
/ Waitress (Ellen): I am so, so sorry I spilled that beer on you. I can get my manager to give you the meal for free if you want...
/ Steve: You know, what would be even better is if I could get your phone number instead. / Waitress (Ellen): Ummm, hehehe... How about I get you that free meal instead.
/ Steve: Oh, uh, sure. Forget I asked. I'll just pay for the food, it's cool. / Steve: Don't give me that look. I know what that look means. / Marten: That was like watching Bruce Lee break his hand trying to karate-chop a Twinkie.
/ Steve: Schadenfreude and Hostess metaphors. That's exactly what I wanted to hear just now. Thanks. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=192 |
| Number 192: At Least She's Not A Ho-Ho | Ellen: I am so, so sorry I spilled that beer on you. I can get my manager to give you the meal for free if you want...
/ Steve: You know, what would be even better is if I could get your phone number instead. / Ellen: Ummm, hehehe... How about I get you that free meal instead.
/ Steve: Oh, uh, sure. Forget I asked. I'll just pay for the food, it's cool. / Steve: Don't give me that look. I know what that look means.
/ Marten: That was like watching Bruce Lee break his hand trying to karate-chop a Twinkie.
/ Steve: Schadenfreude and Hostess metaphors. That's exactly what I wanted to hear just now. Thanks. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=192 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Steve: ok, i'm pretty much dry. Let's get out of here before my pride gets shot down any more.
/ Marten: right on, i wanna swing by the coffee shop and see how faye's holding up. / ellen: hey, wait! here's my number. my name's ellen by the way
/ steve: uh my names steve i thought you didnt- / ellen: sorry, i just wanted to make sure you werent trying to take advantage of the situation earlier. if you had raised a fuss i wouldnt have given you my number. gimme a call sometime, kay?
/ steve: uh sure thanks! / steve: she... totally outmaneuvered me. i've never been so aroused in my enitre life.
/ marten: okay! didnt need to know about your boner! thanks for playing! http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=193 |
| Number 193: Get The Girl | Steve: Ok, I'm pretty much dry. Let's get outta here before my pride gets shot any more.
/ Marten: Right on. I wanna swing by the coffeeshop and see how Faye's holding up. / Ellen: Hey wait! Here's my number. My name's Ellen, by the way.
/ Steve: Uh, my name's Steve. I thought you didn't-- / Ellen: Sorry, I just wanted to make sure you weren't trying to take advantage of the situation earlier. If you had raised a fuss I wouldn't be giving you my number. Gimme a call sometime, 'kay?
/ Steve: Uh, sure, thanks! / Steve: She... she totally outmaneuvered me. I've never been so aroused in my entire life.
/ Marten: Okay! Didn't need to know about your boner! Thanks for playing! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=193 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{title text: Number 193: Get The Girl}} / [[Steve and Marten at the restaurant]]
/ Steve: Okay, I'm pretty much dry. Let's get outta here before my pride gets shot any more.
/ Marten: Right not. I wanna swing by the coffeeshop and see how Faye's holding up. / [[Sign: No Smoking Stinky People]]
/ Waitress (Ellen): Hey wait! Here's my number. My name's Ellen, by the way.
/ Steve: Uh, my name's Steve. I thought you didn't- / Ellen: Sorry, I just wanted to make sure you weren't trying to take advantage of the situation earlier. If you had raised a fuss I wouldn't be giving you my number. Gimme a call sometime, 'kay?
/ Steve: Uh, sure, thanks! / [[Outside the restaurant]]
/ Steve: She...she totally outmaneuvered me. I've never been so aroused in my entire life.
/ Marten: Okay! Didn't need to know about your boner! Thanks for playing! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=193# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Boy: Oh my god... This is the most beautiful thing I've ever heard...
/ Skull Panda: narn narn narn... / Boy: Skull Panda!
/ You have to hear this new Arcade Fire CD!
/ Here, check it out! / < http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=194 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Oh my God...this is the most beautiful thing I've ever heard... / Narn narn narn... / Skull panda! You have to hear this new Arcade Fire CD! / Here, check it out! / Uh, that's not right, man... / See? It's a CD! You listen to it, and it gives your life meaning! / AAAH! My CD! Why would-- / Splotcchh! / BLORRCH!!
/ AAAAAAAAH!!! / AAH! Oh God! / SPLUTt!
/ GAH! / xURRGKKK!x / PELURT! / PTT! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=194 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Pintsize: AW POOR MARTEN.
/ WITHOUT GIRLS, HE JUST MOPES AROUND ALL DAY, FEELING SORRY FOR HIMSELF.
/ I WONDER IF THERE IS A WAY TO TRANSFER ALL MY KNOWLEDGE OF THE WORLD TO HIM IN ORDER TO IMPRESS THE LADIES.
/ HMM... I MAY HAVE AN IDEA... / Compuer:>anthro-pc unit alpha-341C: Pintsize
/ >login requested
/ >password: ******
/ >access granted
/ >
/ >permission for knowledge transfer
/ >target: Content, Marten Q.
/ >data transfer: 85%
/ >home/pintsize/library/secret_files/brain.exe
/ >USB/Firewire/Other?: universal plug
/ >universal plug activated
/ >
/ >unit: Pintsize, is clear for transfer
/ >good luck;)
/ >
/ >logout: #76857362454895
/ >
/ >
/ >
/ >
/ >
/ >anthro-pc software is shareware,
/ >if you like this software after 30 days, please send $24.99
/ >to sheldon@anthropc.awesome / Pintsize: TRUST YOUR MIND TO MINE!
/ Marten: OH HEY PINTSIZE, I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT-- / Marten:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
/ Pintsize: FORGIVE ME...
/ Pintsize: GO TO SLEEP MY DEAR MARTEN, I WILL MAKE SURE EVERYTHING IS BETTER SOON.
/ I'M NOT GOING TO HURT YOU. / Pintsize: SHHH SHHH SHHH HE'S FINALLY WAKING UP.
/ I'M GOING TO GIVE IT A TRY.
/ "SGT. SHAW SGT. RAYMOND SHAW.
/ RAYMOND PRENTISS SHAW."
/ HA! / Pintsize: IT WORKED!
/ I'LL ADMIT, IT WAS A LONG SHOT, BUT IT WORKED!
/ Purple Anthro PC: SO WHAT'S THE PLAN?
/ Pintsize: TIME TO TAKE HIM OUT FOR A TEST DRIVE! / Marten: HELLO THERE FAYE, I WOULD LIKE TO IMPRESS YOU WITH MY VAST KNOWLEDGE OF RANDOM TRIVIA.
/ SHALL WE BEGIN WITH SQUID FUN FACTS?
/ SQUID ARE VERY FAST.
/ THEY CAN MOVE UP TO 20 MILES PER HOUR.
/ SQUID CAN FLY THROUGH THE AIR FOR DISTANCES UP TO 200 FEET.
/ Faye: HEY MARTEN, I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU-- ARE YOU FEELING OK?
/ YOU LOOK A LITTLE PALE. / Pintsize:SHE SUSPECTS SOMETHING!
/ Compuer:>emergency abort sequence
/ >engaged
/ Faye: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=195 |
| #195: Guest Comic by Brian Carroll | PINTSIZE: Aw poor Marten. Without girls, he just mopes around all day, feeling sorry for himself. / PINTSIZE: I wonder if there is a way to transfer all my knowledge of the world to him in order to impress the ladies. Hmm... I may have an idea... / > anthro-pc unit alpha-341C: Pintsize
/ > login requested
/ > password: ******
/ > access granted
/ >
/ > permission for knowledge transfer
/ > target: Content, Marten Q.
/ > data transfer: 85%
/ > home/pintsize/library/secret_files/brain.exe
/ > USB/Firewire/Other?: universal plug
/ > universal plug activated
/ >
/ > unit: Pintsize, is clear for transfer
/ > good luck ;)
/ >
/ > logout: #76857362454895
/ >
/ >
/ >
/ >
/ >
/ > anthro-pc software is shareware,
/ > if you like this software after 30 days, please send $24.99
/ > to sheldon@anthropc.awesome / [[Pintsize jumping through the air.]] / PINTSIZE: Trust your mind to mine!
/ MARTEN: Oh hey Pintsize, I was just thinking about-- / MARTEN: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
/ PINTSIZE: [[thinking]] Forgive me... / PINTSIZE: Go to sleep, my dear Marten, I will make sure everything is better soon. I'm not going to hurt you. / [[Pintsize and the AnthroPCs watch over Marten's body.]] / ANTHROPC: [[off-panel]] Shhh shhh shhh He's finally waking up.
/ PINTSIZE: [[off-panel]] I'm going to give it a try. / PINTSIZE: [[off-panel]] "Sgt. Shaw Sgt. Raymond Shaw. Raymond Prentis Shaw." HA! / PINTSIZE: It worked! I'll admit, it was a long shot, but it worked! / ANTHROPC: So what's the plan?
/ PINTSIZE: Time to take him out for a test drive! / MARTEN: Hello there Faye, I would like to impress you with my vast knowledge of random trivia. Shall we begin with fun facts? Squid are very fast. They can move up to 20 miles per hour. Squid can fly though [sic] the air for distances up to 200 feet.
/ FAYE: Hey Marten, I've been looking for you-- are you feeling OK? You look a little pale. / PINTSIZE: [[off-screen]] She suspects something!
/ > emergency abort sequence
/ > engaged
/ [[Marten disassembles into several pieces]]
/ FAYE: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=195 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Marten: I've put together a list of all the people I'm going to get to play in my band. / Marten: Let's see, it will be me on lead vocals, of course.
/ Phil Collins on drums, Jerry Only on bass, Billy Corgan on first guitar and Avril Lavinge on second guitar and harmonies. / Marten: We will be like the "Travelling Wilburys" of the 21st century.
/ Faye: BLASPHEMY! / Faye: Nobodysass goodasda "Travelling Wilburys!" / Faye: Yell Yell Yell Yell Yell Yell Yell Yell Yell Yell Yell Yell Yell Yell Yell Yell Yell Yell Yell YellYell Yell / < http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=196 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Guest comic by scott bevan and kent earle whiteningacomics.com}} / female 1: I've put together a list of all the people I'm going to get to play in my band.
/ [[female 2 is holding a lollipop labelled "lolli pop"]] / [[holding up a sheet of paper]] female 1: Let's see, it will be me on lead vocals, of course. Phil Collins on drums. Jerry Only on bass, Billy Corgan on first guitar and Avril Lavigne on second guitar and harmonies. / female 1: we will be like the "Travelling Wilburys" of the 21st century
/ female 2: [[angrily pointing with lollipop]] BLASPHEMY / female 2: [[yelling angrily]] Nobodysass goodasda "Travelling Wilburys!" / female 2: [[female 2's head is three times the size of female 1's head]] yell yell yell yell yell yell yell yell yell yell yell yell yell yell yell yell yell yell yell yell / [[female 2 angrily rips off female 1's head at the neck, still holding the lollipop]]
/ < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=196 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Marten: Faye, would you like to talk about the pros and cons of listening to this indy rock album?
/ Faye: *Sigh*
/ Oh, Marten!
/ I am tired of talking!
/ My life requires something more... physical!
/ Marten: Faye, darling, I...
/ Faye: Marten, I must confess to you.
/ I burnt my apartment building down, only so I could live closer to you! / Marten: Faye, my love, my eyes roam over your creamy white skin and ample bosom, and I know that I cannot resist you!
/ Faye: Marten, I can no longer pretend to be cold to you!
/ I have a feminine hunger that demands satisfaction!
/ Take me!
/ Marten: Faye, we shall consummate our love.
/ My throbbing manhood aches for your trembling walls!
/ Faye: Please make haste!
/ Liquid passion slowly runs down my legs! / Jimbo: EHH HEH HEH HEH...
/ Jeph: Stop that. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=197 |
| Guest Strip by Jason Sigala | Marten: FAYE, WOULD YOU LIKE TO TALK ABOUT THE PROS AND CONS OF LISTENING TO THIS INDY ROCK ALBUM?
/ Faye: *SIGH* OH, MARTEN! I AM TIRED OF TALKING! MY LIFE REQUIRES SOMETHING MORE... PHYSICAL! / Marten: FAYE, DARLING, I...
/ Faye: MARTEN, I MUST CONFESS TO YOU. I BURNT MY APARTMENT BUILDING DOWN, ONLY SO I COULD LIVE CLOSER TO YOU! / Faye: MARTEN, I CAN NO LONGER PRETEND TO BE COLD TO YOU! I HAVE A FEMININE HUNGER THAT DEMANDS SATISFACTION! TAKE ME!
/ Marten: FAYE, MY LOVE, MY EYES ROAM OVER YOUR CREAMY WHITE SKIN AND AMPLE BOSOM, AND I KNOW THAT I CANNOT RESIST YOU! / Marten: FAYE, WE SHALL CONSUMATE OUR LOVE. MY THROBBING MANHOOD ACHES FOR YOUR TREMBLING WALLS!
/ Faye: PLEASE MAKE HASTE! LIQUID PASSION SLOWLY RUNS DOWN MY LEGS! / [[Steve stands behind Jimbo who is writing a fake Romance Novel on his PC]]
/ Jimbo: EHH HEH HEH HEH...
/ Steve: STOP THAT. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=197 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Marten: OKAY, FAYE!
/ NEW MICROWAVE IS OFFICIALLY IN BUSINESS.
/ Faye: HOO-RAY!
/ kETTLE CORN SHALL BE HAD BY ALL! / Faye: NOW HURRY!
/ THE AMISH-NYMPHOMANIAC-WHO-WANTS-TO-BE-AN-EXECUTIVE-AND-SUPERMODEL REALITY SHOW IS COMING ON!
/ Pintsize: WHAT IS THIS? / Pintsize: IT LOOKS LIKE...
/ A TIME MACHINE! / Pintsize: I COULD POTENTIALLY GO FORWARDS TO A TIME WHERE G5 POWERBOOKS FLOW LIKE WATER!
/ < http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=198 |
| Now all he needs is a Sombrero | {{Guest strip by Yuko "Adio" Ota}} / Marten: Okay, Faye! / Marten: New microwave is officially in business.
/ Faye: Hoo-ray! Kettle corn shall be had by all! / Faye: Now hurry! The Amish-Nymphomaniac-Who-Wants-To-Be-An-Executive-And-Supermodel Reality show is coming on! / [[Coming upon the microwave]]
/ Pintsize: What is this? / Pintsize: It looks like... / Pintsize: A time machine! / Pintsize: I could potentially go forward to a time where G5 Powerbooks flow like water! / [[Types in the "year" 2007, actually 20:07 minutes]]
/ < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=198 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Guest comic by Jim Burgess}}
/ [[Marten's apartment. Marten, Pintsize and two other robots are present]]
/ Marten: Are you guys playing trolls and flame-wars again?
/ Pintsize: We are the kings of internet messageboard based role playing games!
/ [[Inset featuring Pintsize, whispering]]
/ Pintsize: Also, I'm trying to gain the favour of yon lady. You should watch and learn. / [[Scene changes to landscape with large green one-eyed monster]]
/ Yellow robot: Tera Dragonslayer is attacked by a druid!
/ Pintsize: I shall save you my lady! / [[Pintsize somersaults off a tree stump]] / [[Pintsize suddenly has a lightsaber]]
/ Yellow robot: There's no lightsabers in this game!
/ Pintsize: I rolled a seven! / [[The yellow robot is being levitated by an invisible force]]
/ Yellow robot: There are no force powers in this game! Put me down!
/ Pintsize: I rolled another seven! / [[Scene returns to Marten's apartment]]
/ Pintsize: Now that you are sufficiently impressed, perhaps we could get together sometime and exchange druids?
/ Purple robot: Umm... / Marten: Did I just witness the story of my life re-enacted by AnthroPCs?
/ Pintsize: How about we smooch?
/ Yellow robot: Be careful. Tera bites. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=199 |
| Number 199: Guest Comic by Jim Burgess | PANEL 1
/ Marten: Are you guys playing Trolls and Flame-Wars again?
/ Pintsize: We are the kings of Internet messageboard based role playing games.
/ [Aside] Also, I'm trying to gain the favor of yon lady. YOU should watch and learn. / PANEL 2
/ Yellow/Orange AnthroPC: Tera Dragonslayer is attacked by a druid!
/ Pintsize: I shall save you my lady! / PANEL 3
/ Yellow/Orange AnthroPC: (off-panel) There's no lightsabers in this game!
/ Pintsize: I rolled a seven! / PANEL 4:
/ Yellow/Orange AnthroPC: There are no Force powers in this game! Put me down!
/ Pintsize: I rolled another seven!
/ Pintsize: Now that you are sufficiently impressed, perhaps we could get together sometime and exchange Druids?
/ Pink/Purple AnthroPC: Umm. . . / PANEL 5
/ Marten: Did I just witness the story of my life re-enacted by AnthroPCs?
/ Pintsize: How's about we smooch?
/ Orange/Yellow AnthroPC: Be careful. Tera bites. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=199 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Number 200: Look On The Bright Side / PANEL 1:
/ Dora: Hey boys, what's shakin'?
/ Marten: Not too much. Is Faye around? / PANEL 2:
/ Dora: You're so devoted to her, it's really cute. She just went out to pick up some supplies.
/ Marten: Oh uh well I wouldn't really say I was devoted {{devoted in italics}}, I mean it's not like we're goin' out or anything... / PANEL 3:
/ Dora: Oh, is that so? Does this mean you'd consider going out with another girl?
/ Steve: You know, a double date with you two and Ellen might no be a bad idea.
/ Marten: Uh wait, I uh- / PANEL 4:
/ Steve: It's settled then. Marten, you and your lanky friend here will be my safety net on the first date with Ellen.
/ Dora: Hee! This is going to be fun!
/ Marten: You know your life's fucked up when the idea of going out on a date with your best friend and a hot goth chick is cause for worry and confusion. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=200 |
| Number 200: Look On The Bright Side | [[Steve, Marten, and Dora in Coffee of Doom]]
/ Dora: Hey boys, what's shakin'?
/ Marten: Not too much. Is Faye around? / Dora: You're so devoted to her, it's really cute. She just went out to pick up some supplies.
/ Marten: Oh uh well I wouldn't really say I was devoted, I mean it's not like we're goin' out or anything... / Dora: Oh, is that so? Does this mean you'd consider going out with another girl?
/ Steve: You know, a double date with you two and Ellen might not be a bad idea.
/ Martin: Uh wait I uh-- / Steve: It's settled then. Marten, you and your lanky friend here will be my safety net on the first date with Ellen.
/ Dora: Hee! This is going to be fun!
/ Marten: You know your life's fucked up when the idea of going out on a date with your best friend and a hot goth chick is cause for worry and confusion. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=200 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Faye: Why, hello boys. Has anything interesting occurred while I was absent?
/ Marten: Well uh apparently Steve wants me to do a double date with him and this girl he just met. / Faye: Exciting stuff! Who will your date be?
/ Marten: Uh... Dora. / [[silence]] / Faye: Why is everyone staring at me? Are you expecting me to be upset by this news?
/ Marten: No! Wait, yes! No wait, I mean-
/ Steve: SO HOW ABOUT THEM RED SUX HUH ARE THEY A BASEBALL TEAM OR WHAT
/ Dora: Hush, I need to watch and see if she goes for my neck or Marten's neck first. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=201 |
| Number 201: Misunderestimatation | [[Faye walks into Coffee for Doom where Marten, Steve, and Dora are]]
/ Faye: Why, hello boys. Has anything interesting occurred while I was absent?
/ Marten: Well uh apparently Steve wants me to do a double date with him and this girl he just met. / Faye: Exciting stuff! Who will your date be?
/ Marten: Uh...Dora. / [[Awkward silence.]] / Faye: Why is everyone staring at me? Are you expecting me to be upset by this news?
/ Marten: No! Wait, yes! No wait, I mean--
/ Steve: [[to Dora]] SO HOW ABOUT THEM RED SOX HUH ARE THEY A BASEBALL TEAM OR WHAT
/ Dora: Hush, I need to watch and see if she goes for my neck or Marten's neck first. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=201 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Faye: Do not look so glum, Marten. I am happy that you will have a night out with your friends! / Faye: If you would like, I can give you a haircut tonight. You will look all dashing and make this Ellen girl wish she had not fallen for a Smarmodon.
/ Marten: Hahaha, okay. Thanks Faye!
/ Steve: Now, is a Smarmodon a type of Smarmosaur, or is it the other way around? / [[Faye rubs her hand in Marten's hair]]
/ Faye: Oh man have you ever gotten shaggy back here. How short should I cut it?
/ Marten: Oh, uh, pretty short I think. I'm kinda sick of all this hair.
/ Dora: Don't cut his hair too short, or people are going to think he and I are related. / Faye: If that will keep you from mounting him at the dinner table, I may just do it.
/ Dora: Hmm, don't be so sure it'd work, honey. That'd be some hot faux-incest.
/ Marten: I think you should rub the back of my head some more. You know, to get an idea of how you're going to cut my hair. Yeah. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=202 |
| Questionable Content: Number 202: Sexy Clones | Faye: Do not look so glum, Marten. I am happy that you will have a night out with your friends! / Faye: If you like, I can give you a haircut tonight. You will look all dashing and make this Ellen girl wish she had not fallen for a Smarmodon.
/ Marten: Hahaha, okay. Thanks Faye!
/ Steve: Now, is a Smarmodon a type of Smarmosaur, or is it the other way around? / Faye: Oh man have you ever gotten shaggy back here. How short should I cut it?
/ Marten: Oh, uh, pretty short I think. I'm kinda sick of all this hair.
/ Dora: Don't cut his hair too short, or people are going to think he and I are related. / Faye: If that will keep you from mounting him at the dinner table, I may just do it.
/ Dora: Hmm, don't be so sure it'd work, honey. That'd be som hot faux-incest.
/ Marten: I think you should rub the back of my head some more. You know, to get an idea of how you're going to cut my hair. Yeah. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=202 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Marten: It was nice of Dora to let you off work early tonight.
/ Faye: Eh, it means she doesn't have to pay me as much this week. Her altruism rings a little hollow. / Faye: How short do you want the back?
/ Marten: Real short, please. Did you just use a contraction?
/ Faye: Shush, I'm almost done.
/ Pintsize: Ooh! More hair-cutting! / Faye: All done! What do you think?
/ Marten: Whoa, it looks awesome! Thanks Faye!
/ Pintsize: Can I have the leftover hair for my Nathaniel Hawthorne costume? / Marten: I feel sexy now. All makin' ladies' panties wet from 100 yards away - a Sex Jedi!
/ Faye: The notion of a Sexy Yoda or George Lucas having anything to do with boners greatly disturbs me.
/ Pintsize: Insert obvious lightsaber joke here! http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=203 |
| Number 203: Like Hair on a Wookiee | PANEL 1
/ Marten: It was nice of Dora to let you off work early tonight.
/ Faye: Eh, it means she doesn't have to pay me as much this week. Her altruism rings a little hollow. / PANEL 2
/ Faye: How short do you want the back?
/ Marten: Real short, please. Did you just use a contraction?
/ Faye: Shush, I'm almost done.
/ Pintsize: Ooh! More hair-cutting! / PANEL 3
/ Faye: All done! What do you think?
/ Marten: Whoa, it looks awesome! Thanks Faye!
/ Pintsize: Can I have the leftover hair for my Nathaniel Hawthorne costume? / PANEL 4
/ Marten: I feel sexy now. All makin' ladies' panties wet from 100 years away - a Sex Jedi!
/ Faye: The notion of a Sexy Yoda or George Lucas having anything to do with boners greatly disturbs me.
/ Pintsize: Insert obvious lightsaber joke here! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=203 |
| Comic 204: Snip Snip | Faye: I'm glad you like your haircut, Marten.
/ Marten: Oh, totally! Thanks again! / Marten: You know, you seem a little more... relaxed... around me now.
/ Faye: Oh, is that so? / Faye: Cutting someone's hair is a good way of establishing trust. I bet that's what it is.
/ Marten: Heheh, so all I had to do to gain your trust was place my physical appearance in your hands, eh? / Faye: No, it was more the knowledge that I could snip off an ear if you tried anything inappropriate with your head in my lap.
/ Marten: See, I could sense that turning around and nuzzling your crotch would have been a mistake. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=204 |
| Number 204: Snip Snip | Faye: I'm glad you like your haircut, Marten.
/ Marten: Oh, totally! Thanks again! / Marten: You know, you seem a little more...relaxed...around me now.
/ Faye: Oh, is that so? / Faye: Cutting someone's hair is a good way of establishing trust. I bet that's what it is.
/ Marten: Heheh, so all I had to do to gain your trust was place my phsyical appearance in your hands, eh? / Faye: No, it was more the knowledge that I could snip off an ear if you tried anything inappropriate with your head in my lap.
/ Marten: See, I could sense that turning around and nuzzling your crotch would have been a mistake. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=204 |
| Comic 205: Tira Misu is Delicious | Pintsize: So when is your date?
/ Marten: First of all, it's not my date. I'm just helping Steve out. And I don't know when it's gonna be. / Pintsize: And you're going with Dora? Are you going to make out with her?
/ Faye: Ooh, yes! Are you going to get your make-out on with our sexy scarecrow friend?
/ Marten: I uh er uh / Faye: Oh Marten, don't be so uptight about it! We're just messing with you.
/ Marten: I'm not being uptight! I just don't think it's that kind of date, you know? / Faye: Honey, this is Dora we're talking about. You may not make it out of the restaurant with your pants intact.
/ Marten: Aw man, I like these pants.
/ Pintsize: I've seen movies like that! They always seem to end with anal sex on top of the tira misu. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=205 |
| Number 205: Tira Misu Is Delicious | Pintsize: So when is your date?
/ Marten: First of all, it's not my date. And I don't know when it's gonna be. / Pintsize: And you're going with Dora? Are you going to make out with her?
/ Faye: Ooh, yes! Are you going to get your make-out on with our sexy scarecrow friend?
/ Marten: I uh er uh / < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=205 |
| Number 206: Julia Child | Marten: Man, I'm starving all of a sudden.
/ Faye: I could make us a tasty dinner! / Marten: Are you sure? You have a history of cataclysmic cooking catastrophes.
/ Faye: Hmph. That stupid toaster was just out to get me. / Marten: Well, if you want to cook so bad, go right ahead. Just try not to burn my apartment down, okay?
/ Faye: Oh ye of little faith. I'll show you just how capable I am in the kitchen! / Pintsize: I can hear the appliances squealing in terror!
/ Faye: Keep up the wisecracks and I'll turn your head into a salad spinner
/ Marten: A salad spinner that somehow bursts into flame and incinerates us all. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=206 |
| Number 206: Julia Child | Marten: Man, I'm starving all of a sudden.
/ Faye: I could make us a tasty dinner! / Marten: Are you sure? You have a history of cataclysmic cooking catastrophes.
/ Faye: Hmph. The stupid toaster was just out to get me. / Marten: Well, if you want to cook so bad, go right ahead. Just try not to burn my apartment down, okay?
/ Faye: Oh ye of little faith. I'll show you just how capable I am in the kitchen! / Pintsize: I can hear appliances squealing in terror!
/ Faye: Keep up the wisecracks and I'll turn your head into a salad spinner.
/ Marten: A salad spinner that somehow bursts into flame and incinerates us all. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=206 |
| Number 207: Marinara | Faye: Dinner is ready!
/ Marten: Awesome, it smells really good! / Marten: Damn Faye, I'm impressed. You managed to make some tasty spaghetti and meatballs without setting anything on fire or flooding the kitchen!
/ Faye: Told you so! / Marten: Why do you have a towel wrapped around your hand, though?
/ Faye: Oh, um I cut it a little tiny bit while opening the canned tomatoes. / Marten: Faye, you seem to be, uh, dripping. Exactly how bad was this "little tiny cut"?
/ Faye: Does hitting a vein count as "bad"?
/ Pintsize: Bleah! I don't know what that red stuff on the kitchen ceiling is, but it's definitely not tomato sauce. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=207 |
| 207: Marinara | PANEL 1
/ Faye: Dinner is ready!
/ Marten: Awesome, it smells really good! / PANEL 2
/ Marten: Damn Faye, I'm impressed. You managed to make some tasty spaghetti and meatballs without setting anything on fire or flooding the kitchen!
/ Faye: Told you so! / PANEL 3
/ Marten: Why do you have a towel wrapped around your hand, though?
/ Faye: Oh, um I cut it a little tiny but while opening the canned tomatoes. / PANEL 4
/ Marten: Faye, you seem to be, uh, dripping. Exactly how bad was this "little tiny cut?"
/ Faye: Does hitting a vein count as "bad?"
/ Pintsize: Bleah! I don't know what that red stuff on the kitchen ceiling is, but it's definitely not tomato sauce. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=207 |
| Number 208: Triage | Faye: That taxi driver was so rude!
/ Marten: That's because you were bleeding all over his back seat, Faye. / Nurse: Ooh, that looks painful. Can I get your name, miss?
/ Faye: Faye Whitaker
/ Nurse: What exactly happened to you, Faye?
/ Faye: I cut my hand making dinner and it's kind of... squirty.
/ Nurse: Okay, we'll get you checked in and a doctor will be with you as soon as possible. / Faye: Um, can my friend here come along with me?
/ Nurse: Of course, honey. It's good to have a familiar hand to hold. / Faye: Screw "familiar hands", this is going to hurt like a bitch and I want someone to punch who isn't the doctor stitching me up.
/ Marten: Hey, wait a minute!
/ Nurse: Don't worry, sir. In these situations we keep an intern on hand for surrogate punching. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=208 |
| Number 208 : Triage | [[Faye and Marten in the Emergency room]]
/ Faye: That taxi driver was so rude!
/ Marten: That's because you were bleeding all over his back sear , Faye. / Nurse: Ooh, that looks painful. Can I get your name, miss?
/ Faye: Faye Whitaker.
/ Nurse: What exactly happened to you Faye?
/ Faye: I cut my hand making dinner and it's kind of....squirty.
/ Nurse: Okay, we'll get you checked in and a doctor will be with you as soon as possible. / Faye: Um, can my friend here come along with me?
/ Nurse: Of course, honey. It's good to have a familiar hand to hold. / Faye: Screw "familiar hands", this is going to hurt like a bitch and I want someone to punch who isn't the doctor stitching me up.
/ Marten: Hey, wait a minute!
/ Nurse: Don't worry, sir. In these situations we keep an intern on hand for surrogate punching. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=208 |
| Number 209: Hsu, The Punching Intern | Doctor: Okay, I'm going to inject some anaesthetic into the wound now, Faye.
/ Faye: Eeee.... / Doctor: Nurse, could you get a punching intern in here for me?
/ Marten: Wait, you mean she wasn't joing about that?
/ Doctor: Nope. With the med school next door, we have a lot of spare students running around. Might as well do something useful with them, you know? / Hsu (the punching intern): Sigh...punching intern reporting for duty.
/ Marten: Holy shit, what happened to you? / Hsu: I just spent eleven hours in the maternity ward with a woman having twins.
/ Marten: Good lord did she ever beat the stuffing out of you, dude.
/ Hsu: Nah, I got off easy. Her husband is still in the ICU. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=209 |
| Number 209: Hsu, The Punching Intern | Doctor: Okay, I'm going to inject some anaesthetic into the wound now, Faye.
/ Faye: Eeee.... / Doctor: Nurse, could you get me a punching intern?
/ Marten: Wait, you mean she wasn't joking about that?
/ Doctor: Nope. With the med school next door, we have a lot of spare students running around. Might as well do something useful with them, you know? / Hsu: Sigh... punching intern reporting for duty.
/ Marten: Holy shit, what happened to you? / Hsu: I just spent eleven hours in the maternity ward with a woman having twins.
/ Marten: Good lord did she ever beat the stuffing out of you, dude.
/ Hsu: Nah, I got off easy. Her husband is still in the ICU. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=209 |
| Number 210: Utahraptor Has No Posse | Faye: That doctor was sho nishe!
/ Marten: Heheh. Enjoying your lollipop?
/ Faye: Yesh, very musch! / Marten: It was nice of you not to actually punch that poor Hsu kid.
/ Faye: He looked so beaten up already, I couldn't bring myself to harm him any further! / Marten: How's your hand feeling?
/ Faye: It hurtsh, but it'sh not too bad. The doctor shaid the shtiches have to shtay in for a week. / Faye: Aaagh!
/ Marten: Please, please tell me that's just tomato sauce and you didn't explode the nieghbor's cat or something.
/ Pintsize: It's just tomato sauce, and I don't explode cats. It's way too difficult to coax them into the microwave. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=210 |
| Number 210: Utahraptor Has No Posse | [[Leaving the Emergency Room. Faye has a lollypop in her mouth]]
/ Faye: That doctor was sho nishe!
/ Marten: Heheh. Enjoying your lollipop?
/ Faye: Yesh, very musch! / [[On the street]]
/ Marten: It was nice of you not to actually punch that poor Hsu kid.
/ Faye: He looked so beaten up already, I couldn't bring myself to harm him any further! / [[Just outside the apartment]]
/ Marten: How's your hand feeling?
/ [[Looking at her hand]]
/ Faye: It hurtsh, but it'sh not too bad. The doctor shaid the shtitches have to shtay in for a week. / [[In the apartment, Pintsize is covered in red]]
/ Faye: Aaagh!
/ Marten: Please, please tell me that's just tomato sauce and you didn't explode the neighbor's cat or something.
/ Pintsize: It's just tomato sauce, and I don't explode cats. It's way too difficult to coax them into the microwave. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=210 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{title text: Number 210: Utahraptor Has No Posse}} / [[Marten and Faye leaving the hospital. Faye has a lollipop in her mouth.]]
/ Faye: That doctor was sho nishe!
/ Marten: Heheh. Enjoying your lollipop?
/ Faye: Yesh, very musch! / [[On the street]]
/ Marten: It was nice of you not to actually punch that poor Hsu kid.
/ Faye: He looked so beaten up already, I couldn't bring myself to harm him any further! / [[In the apartment building hallway]]
/ Marten: How's your hand feeling?
/ Faye: It hurtsh, but it'sh not too bad. The doctor shaid the shtiches have to shtay in for a week. / [[In Marten's apartment. Pintsize is covered in a red substance.]]
/ Faye: Aaagh!
/ Marten: Please, please tell me that's just tomato sauce and you didn't explode the neighbor's cat or something.
/ Pintsize: It's just tomato sauce, and I don't explode cats. It's way too difficult to coax them into the microwave. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=210# |
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