You're browsing the archives of Questionable Content.
You can search these comics too.
show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]
| Salo would be proud | < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=91 |
| Questionable Content: Number Ninety-Two: Might As Well Jump | [[interior Marten's blue living room]]
/ Marten: Okay, what should I get for you at the liquor store?
/ Faye: Something cheap and mean! Booze with a name like Squawkin' Gobbler or Midnight Hobo! / Marten: Are you sure?
/ Faye: Yes! High-quality booze is for pansies. I am TOUGH. / Pintsize: I am also tough, can I have some alcohol too?
/ Marten: No way, it would totally short out your insides.
/ Pintsize: Aww, but I want to get drunk too! / Faye: I can see it now! Randomly pinging skanky servers, picking fights with more powerful computers, reformatting yourself while Marten holds your head up out of the toilet...
/ Pintsize: I would be like David Lee Roth!
/ Marten: Stop encouraging him! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=92 |
| Questionable Content: Number Ninety-Three: This Could Get Messy | [[interior Marten's blue living room]]
/ [[Marten and Steve are coming through the door]]
/ Marten: I'm back. I got the drinks and met Steve outside.
/ Faye: Hello Steve! Hello booze! / Steve: Jesus Christ, what the hell are you drinking? I can smell it from here!
/ Faye: It is called Midnight Hobo. It is a bourbon for tough girls, not pansy boys like you. / Steve: Pansy boys like me, eh? I think you just got yourself into a drinking contest, lil' missy.
/ Faye: You are on! I will drink you so far under the table you will come out in an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting in China! / Marten: Why do I suddenly see myself in the bathroom, holding one of you over the toilet and the other over the sink?
/ Faye: Maybe you can see into the future! Maybe you are Nostradamus!
/ Steve: Winner gets the toilet, loser gets the sink! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=93 |
| At least she's not a Rothko | So where's Sara? I assumed you would be bringing her along tonight.
/ Oh, uh... Well we aren't really seeing each other anymore. / Aww, that is a shame! What promted the split?
/ This is going to sound really shallow, but... / You know how Cubist paintings are all weird, with the awkward angles and uncomfortable juxtaposition?
/ Yeah, sure. / Well that is basically what Sara was like in the bedroom, if you catch my drift.
/ Oof, Guernica. Ouch.
/ I am comparable to a Monet. Jerking off can be likened to a Warhol print! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=94 |
| Number Ninety-Five: Not Very Nice | PANEL 1
/ Steve: All right kids, have a good night. It's time for me to slouch on home.
/ Marten: See you later, Steve.
/ Faye: Nighty night! / PANEL 2
/ Marten: Man, I'm still pretty wired. Anything in particular you feel like doing?
/ Faye: Oh, I've got a great idea. / PANEL 3
/ Faye: Why don't you and I... / PANEL 4
/ Faye: ...Go to the all-night diner and get us some tasty pancakes!
/ Marten: Jesus Christ, I'm like Charlie Brown and his goddamned football. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=95 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | TITLE BAR: Number Ninety-six: It Will Rise Again / TRANSCRIPT: / PANEL 1 / Faye: Whooee, Midnight Hobo can sure mess a gal up. / Marten: You never did explain why you get that southern drawl after you've had a lot of booze. / PANEL 2 / Faye: Ain't I told you before? I'm a Georgia peach at heart! / Marten: So that's where you're originally from? / Faye: Born 'n raised! / PANEL 3 / Marten: Man, your mom must have really freaked out when you moved up north. / Faye: Bawled her eyes out for three days straight. "Oh, my baby's leavin' me for Yankee territory!" / PANEL 4 / Marten: Let me guess, then she got the vapors and had to go fan herself out on the porch while sipping a mint julep. / Faye: Don't y'all be a smartass now, us southern belles fight mean when we're hammered. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=96 |
| Number Ninety-Seven: That Thing You Do | Panel 1
/ Marten: So what made you decide to move up north?
/ Faye: It was a buncha things, like my mom bein' all over-protective an' stuff. / Panel 2
/ Faye: I wanted ta start over, ya know? Go somewhere new, see if I could meet me some new folks to hang out with.
/ Marten: I can understand that. / Panel 3
/ Faye: 'Sides, other'n losin' all my stuff in the toast fire of doom, I been doin' pretty good.
/ Faye: Ain't every day a gal meets a nice fella who's willin' to take her in. / Panel 4
/ Marten: So is the talent for making ambiguous, semi-platonic statements like that one a southern thing?
/ Faye: Naw, honey. It's a female thing. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=97 |
| Questionable Content | {{Number Ninety-Eight: I Am Trying To Eat Your Pancakes}}
/ [[exterior street, night]]
/ [[Marten and Faye are walking home]]
/ Faye: Whoo Lord, I think the booze is startin' to turn around on me.
/ Marten: That half-pound of pancakes you just devoured probably isn't helping, either. / Faye: I couldn't help it! I was ravenous!
/ Marten: Well, you reap what you sow. / [[interior apartment halls]]
/ Faye: I'm gonna be so sad if I throw up. Those pancakes were too tasty to waste like that.
/ Marten: Tell you what- if you barf I'll write you a sad song about your lost pancakes. / Faye: Ooh! Make it like Xiu Xiu, only about pancakes instead of dicks! Or like the Wrens, only about pancakes instead of adultery!
/ Marten: Actually I was thinking more along the lines of Wilco, only about pancakes instead of lost love and shrieking laptop feedback. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=98 |
| Almost Psychic | There, now you won't be praying for death tomorrow morning.
/ < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=99 |
| Number 100: Bad Timing | Marten: Yawn. / Marten: Woops! / Faye: What the hell do you think you are doing?!
/ Marten: It was an accident! I thought you'd be changing in the bathroom! Please don't make with the killing! / Faye: You had better not be lying. Girls can smell a lie.
/ Marten: I promise, it was a complete accident! / Marten: How come you're being so suspicious of me, anyway? Don't you trust me by now?
/ Faye: One can never be too careful. A girl has to protect her assets. Also her breastets. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=100 |
| 100: Bad Timing | PANEL 1 / Marten: Yawn / PANEL 2 / Marten: Woops! / PANEL 3:
/ Faye: What the hell do you think you are doing?!
/ Marten: It was an accident! I thought you'd be changing in the bathroom! Please don't make with the killing! / PANEL 4:
/ Faye: You had better not be lying. Girls can smell a lie.
/ Marten: I promise, it was a complete accident! / PANEL 5:
/ Marten: How come you're being so suspicious of me, anyway? Don't you trust me by now?
/ Faye: One can never be too careful. A girl has to protect her assets. Also her breastets. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=100 |
| Number 101: Airplane Simile | Marten: . . .And I totally walked in on her while she was changing.
/ Steve: Did you do the prudent thing and immediately turn around? / Marten: No, I just sort of stood there and gaped.
/ Steve: Well that wasn't very wise.
/ Marten: I couldn't help it! / Marten: It was like being caught in the headlights of a landing 747. A 747 whose passengers were sexiness and rage.
/ Steve: I'll be that sexiness gets way more frequent flyer miles than rage. / Meanwhile:
/ Dora: What's the big deal? Marten didn't even see anything. Hell, if he comes in today I'll flash him. I don't mind jiggling a little boobage in a cute boy's face.
/ Faye: Dora! http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=101 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | TITLE BAR: 101: Airplane Simile / TRANSCRIPT: / PANEL 1 / Marten: ...And I totally walked in on her while she was changing.
/ Steve: Did you do the prudent thing and immediately turn around? / PANEL 2 / Marten: No, I just sort of stood there and gaped.
/ Steve: Well that wasn't very wise.
/ Marten: I couldn't help it! / PANEL 3 / Marten: It was like being caught in the headlights of a landing 747. A 747 whose passengers were sexiness and rage.
/ Steve: I'll bet that sexiness gets way more frequent flyer miles than rage. / PANEL 4 / CAPTION: Meanwhile: / Dora: What's the big deal? Marten didn't even see anything. Hell, if he comes in today I'll flash him. I don't mind jiggling a little boobage in a cute boy's face.
/ Faye: Dora! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=101 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Raven: Dora! There you are!
/ Dora: Oh, uh, hi Raven. What's new?
/ Raven: Why haven't you been to, like, the last fifteen coven meetings?
/ Dora: Well, um, I've been meaning to tell you...
/ Faye: Pardon me, but did you call yourself Raven just now? Are you aware that you have named yourself after a mite-infested, carrion-eating bird that is the vector for several infectious diseases?
/ Faye: Oh, please do not put another curse on me. I would not want to wake up tomorrow morning trapped in an Anne Rice novel, my only companions a group of weepy, effeminate vampires!
/ Dora: Actually, that's a pretty good description of Raven's coven.
/ Raven: I'm so bitching you out in my DeadJournal tonight. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=102 |
| Number 102: Curses | PANEL 1
/ Raven: Dora! There you are!
/ Dora: Oh, uh, hi Raven. What's new? / PANEL 2
/ Raven: Why haven't you been to, like, the last fifteen coven meetings?
/ Dora: Well, um, I've been meaning to tell you... / PANEL 3
/ Faye: Pardon me, but did you call youself Raven just now? Are you aware that you have named yourself after a mite-infested, carrion-eating bird that is the vector for several infectious diseases? / PANEL 4
/ Faye: Oh, please do not put another curse on me. I would not want to wake up tomorrow morning trapped in an Anne Rice novel, my only companions a group of weepy, effeminate vampires!
/ Dora: Actually that's a pretty good description of Raven's coven.
/ Raven: I'm so bitching you out in my DeadJournal tonight. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=102 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Faye:There is something infinitely satisfaying about sending that girl out of the shop in a huff.
/ Dora: Heh. It doesn't take much to gat Raven huffy. / Faye: You did not exactly rush to her defense. I tohught you two were friendly-like.
/ Dora: Oh, don't get me wrong, Raven and her little group are nice enough kids. I've been getting kinda tired of the whole goth scene lately, though. / Faye: You should hang out with Marten and Steve and I! We do not suscribe to any "scene" or it's silly fashions.
/ Dora: Heh. So says the girl wearing $200 diesel jeans. / Faye: I only bought them because they make my butt look nicer than most pair of pants! They are a special exception to the rule!
/ Dora: That IS a nice butt. May I grab it?
/ Faye: Dora! http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=103 |
| Number 103: A Common Excuse | PANEL 1
/ Faye: There is something infinitely satisfying about sending that girl out of the shop in a huff.
/ Dora: Heh. It doesn't take much to get Raven huffy. / PANEL 2
/ Faye: You did not exactly rush to her defense. I thought you two were friendly-like.
/ Dora: Oh, don't get me wrong, Raven and her little group are nice enough kids. I've been getting kinda tired of the whole goth scene lately, though. / PANEL 3
/ Faye: You should hang out with Marten and Steve and I! We do not subscribe to any "scene" or its silly fashions.
/ Dora: Heh. So says the girl wearing $200 Diesel jeans. / PANEL 4
/ Faye: I only bought them because they make my butt look nicer than most pairs of pants! They are a special exception to the rule!
/ Dora: Hmm, that is a nice butt. May I grab it?
/ Faye: Dora! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=103 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Steve: So do you think Faye is really pissed at you?
/ Marten: I dunno, she certainly SEEMED irate enough when she stomed off to work. / Steve: You should just go apologize, I bet she's cooled off by now.
/ Marten: No way, it'd be too embarassing to apologize in fornt of everybody at the coffee shop. / Marten: Gah! Why are you taling off you pants? / Steve: I'm helpin' you out! I'll be a distraction so you can apologize without everyone noticing!
/ Pintsize: I'll help! I am completely naked!
/ Marten: Steve, put your pants on. Pintsize, shoot Steve with your laser if he doesn't do it. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=104 |
| Number 104: His Mom Got Him Those | PANEL 1
/ Steve: So do you think Faye is really pissed at you?
/ Marten: I dunno, she certainly seemed irate enough when she stormed off to work. / PANEL 2
/ Steve: You should just go apologize, I bet she's cooled off by now.
/ Marten: No way, it'd be way too embarassing to apologize in front of everybody at the coffee shop. / PANEL 3
/ Marten: Gah! Why are you taking off your pants?! / PANEL 4
/ Steve: I'm helpin' you out! I'll be a distraction so you can apologize without everyone noticing!
/ Pintsize: I'll help! I am completely naked!
/ Marten: Steve, put your pants on. Pintsize, shoot Steve with your laser if he doesn't do it. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=104 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | UPS man: Package for you.
/ Dora: For me? Thanks.
/ Faye: Ooh, what did you get? Who sent it to you?
/ Dora: Looks like it's from my mom, she's always sending me random little presents.
/ Faye [[reading letter from package]]: "Dear Dora, I know you're enjoying the single life, but I imagine you must feel lonely at times. I was poking around on eBay the other day and came across something I think will do you a world of good. It's called the Pulse-Master 9000, I hope you enjoy it! Love, Moms."
/ Dora: Okay, this raises two disturbing questions. One, Why on earth would my mother buy me a vibrator? Two, what the hell was she shopping for on eBay when she "came across" this?
/ Faye: Holy Christ, this thing would intimidate Catherine the Great! http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=105 |
| Number 105: It's The Thought That Counts | PANEL 1
/ Delivery Man: Package for you.
/ Dora: For me? Thanks. / PANEL 2
/ Faye: Ooh, what did you get? Who sent it to you?
/ Dora: Looks like it's from my mom, she's always sending me random little presents. / PANEL 3
/ Dora: "Dear Dora, I know you're enjoying the single life, but I imagine you must feel lonely at times. I was poking around on eBay the other day and came across something I think will do you a world of good. It's called the Pulse-Master 9000, I hope you enjoy it! Love, Moms." / PANEL 4
/ Dora: Okay, this raises two disturbing questions. One, why on earth would my mother buy me a vibrator? Two, what the hell was she shopping for on eBay when she "came across" this?
/ Faye: Holy Christ, this thing would intimidate Catherine the Great! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=105 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Number 106: Faye Is Not Squeamish}}
/ [[Faye is holding a huge vibrator that she has taken out of a box]]
/ Faye: So are you going to keep it?
/ Dora: Eww, now way! Lord only knows where that thing has been! / [[Martin entering Coffee of Doom, Faye & Dora off-screen, but close by]]
/ Martin: Faye, are you here?
/ Dora: Gah, stop it!
/ Faye: Oh, quit being so squeamish Dora! / [[Faye chasing Dora past Martin with the vibrator]]
/ Dora: Aiigh! Get away from me!
/ Faye: Come on, you know you want it! / [[Martin still in the doorway, Faye & Dora off screen, but close by]]
/ Martin: Okay, either I'm having my first wet dream in ten years, or Pintsize put some LSD in my cheerios this morning.
/ Faye: It wants to be your special friend!
/ Dora: I know kung fu! Don't make me break your limbs, Faye! http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=106 |
| Number 106: Faye is Not Squeamish | PANEL 1 / Faye: So are you going to keep it?
/ Dora: Eww, no way! Lord only knows where that thing has been! / PANEL 2 / Marten: Faye, are you here?
/ Dora: Gah, stop it!
/ Faye: Oh, quit being so squeamish, Dora! / PANEL 3 / Dora: Aiigh! Get away from me!
/ Faye: Come on, you know you want it! / PANEL 4 / Marten: Okay, either I'm having my first wet dream in ten years, or Pintsize put some LSD in my Cheerios this morning.
/ Faye: It wants to be your special friend!
/ Dora: I know kung fu! Don't make me break your limbs, Faye! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=106 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Dora: You keep away from me with that thing!
/ Faye: Oh come now, it is a gift from your mother! Surely it would break her heart if you were to refuse it!
/ Marten: Oh my gosh, I think that's one of MY old vibrators! Man, that thing's probably spent over 250 hours in my ass over the years. I thought I'd never see it again when I put it up on eBay two weeks ago!
/ [[Both women freeze; Faye drops the vibrator.]]
/ Faye [[rolling up her sleeve]]: I hope you are aware that your little put-on has earned you a brutal punching.
/ Marten: The look on your face just now was totally worth it.
/ Dora: It's a shame you were joking, I thought it was kinda hot. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=107 |
| Number 107: Marten Gets Sassy | Panel 1
/ Dora: You keep away from me with that thing!
/ Faye: Oh come now, it is a gift from your mother! Surely it would break her heart if you were to refuse it! / Panel 2
/ Marten: Oh my gosh, I think that's one of MY old vibrators! Man, that thing's probably spent 250 hours in my ass over the years. I thought I'd never see it again when I put it up on eBay two weeks ago! / Panel 3
/ [[Faye drops vibrator]] / Panel 4
/ Faye: I hope you are aware that your little put-on has earned you a brutal punching.
/ Marten: The look on your face just now was totally worth it.
/ Dora: It's a shame you were joking, I thought it was kinda hot. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=107 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Marten: Oh man, that is the worst bruise I have ever had! Ow!
/ Faye: Serves you right, playing a trick like that on an innocent girl such as me.
/ Marten: Well anyway, I came over to apologize for barging in on you this morning.
/ Faye: Oh, do not worry about it. Dora is right, you did not see anything that you would not see at a swimming pool or on the beach.
/ Faye: Your apology is accepted. From now on I am going to... What is going on behind my back that is so fascinating?
/ [[Dora appears, topless, with her back to the viewer.]]
/ Faye: Dora, you didn't!
/ Dora: Did I ever! Hee hee!
/ Marten: Okay, LSD in my cereal has been ruled out. This is definitely a wet dream. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=108 |
| Number 108: Mysterious Tattoo | PANEL 1
/ Marten: Oh man, that is the worst bruise I have ever had! Ow!
/ Faye: Serves you right, playing a trick like that on an innocent girl such as me.
/ [[Blackboard: flavors of teh day
/ sextuple espresso
/ latte of DOOM
/ vodkoffee! / We are surly because you suck!]] / PANEL 2
/ Marten: Well anyway, I came over to apologize for barging in on you this morning.
/ Faye: Oh, do not worry about it. Dora is right, you did not see anything that you would not see at a swimming pool or on the beach. / PANEL 3
/ Faye: Your apology is accepted. From now on I am going to... What is going on behind my back that is so fascinating? / PANEL 4
/ Faye: Dora, you didn't!
/ Dora: Did I ever! Hee hee!
/ Marten: Okay, LSD in my cereal has been ruled out. This is definitely a wet dream. /
/ Blackboard: flavors of teh day, sextuple espresso, latte of DOOM, vodkoffee!, We are surly because you suck! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=108 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Dora: All right, all right, the shirt is back on. I've mortified you enough for one day.
/ Faye: Truly, I have been scandalized by your scarcely-clad shenanigans.
/ Faye: What is that tattoo you have on your backside, anyway?
/ Dora: Well, it was gonna be a full back piece of an angel fighting a demon over a lake of fire. I can't afford to have it finished yet, so right now it's just the lake of fire.
/ Faye: So your ass, it is a lake of fire. You have a fire ass.
/ Dora: Before you poke fun at my posterior, consider your own, which would appear to be made entirely of donuts and Crisco.
/ Faye: Marten, explain to this deluded woman that my bottom is not composed of baked goods and shortening!
/ Marten: I'm sorry, did you say something? I'm still kinda in tit-shock. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=109 |
| Number 109: Baked Goods | Panel 1
/ Dora: All right, all right, the shirt is back on. I've mortified you enough for one day.
/ Faye: Truly, I have been scandalized by your scarcely-clad shenanigans. / Panel 2
/ Faye: What is that tattoo you have on your backside, anyway?
/ Dora: Well, it was gonna be a full back piece of an angel fighting a demon over a lake of fire. I can't afford to have it finished yet, so right now it's just the lake of fire. / Panel 3
/ Faye: So your ass, it is a lake of fire. You have a fire ass.
/ Dora: Before you poke fun at my posterior, consider your own, which would appear to be made entirely of donuts and Crisco. / Panel 4
/ Faye: Marten, explain to this deluded woman that my bottom is not composed of baked goods and shortening!
/ Marten: I'm sorry, did you say something? I'm still kinda in tit-shock. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=109 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Faye: Okay, my shift is up. Shall we be going, Marten?
/ Marten: Sure.
/ Faye: Dora, you should swing by Marten's apartment tonight. Come join in our reindeer games!
/ Dora: Oh, uh... Well I'd love to, but I really need to do laundry and clean my kitchen and stuff.
/ Faye: Boo to laundry and cleaning! It is the weekend, you should come hang out! I promise we are more fun than your gothy friends, we are way awesomer.
/ Dora: Next time, I promise.
/ Faye: Marten, tell Dora that you will give her smooches or something if she comes over tonight.
/ Marten: Huh buh duh wha?
/ Dora: Careful, Faye. I don't think he can handle any more innuendo today. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=110 |
| Number 110: She Cannae Take Much More Captain | Panel 1
/ Faye: OK, my shift is up. Shall we be going, Marten?
/ Marten: Sure. / Panel 2
/ Faye: Dora, you should swing by Marten's apartment tonight. Come join us in our reindeer games!
/ Dora: Oh, uh... Well I'd love to, but I really need to do laundry and clean my kitchen and stuff. / Panel 3
/ Faye: Boo to laundry and cleaning! It is the weekend, you should come hang out! I promise we are more fun than your gothy friends, we are way awesomer.
/ Dora: Next time, I promise. / Panel 4
/ Faye: Marten, tell Dora that you will give her smooches or something if she comes over tonight.
/ Marten: Huh buh duh wha?
/ Dora: Careful, Faye. I don't think he can handle any more innuendo today. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=110 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Faye: I wonder why Dora did not want to come hang out with us.
/ Marten: Well, she said she needed to clean and do laundry and stuff tonight...
/ Faye: Do not be dense, Marten. That is the second-oldest excuse in the female handbook, right after having to wash one's hair!
/ Marten: Why are you so intent on getting her to come over tonight, anyway?
/ Faye: Dora is a lady just beginning to break out of her spooky shell. We will help her by exposing her to good, happy things such as sunlight and the Flaming Lips.
/ Marten: So Wayne Coyne is the antidote to wearing lots of black and listening to Apoptygma Berzerk?
/ Faye: He turns gothy frowns to indie grins, as surely as Yoshimi wins!
/ Marten: Wow, I think that's the first indie-rock couplet I've ever heard.
/ Faye: I am like a hipster Emily Dickinson, only not a gay shut-in! http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=111 |
| Number 111: The Goth Bulletin | PANEL 1
/ Faye: I wonder why Dora did not want to come hang out with us.
/ Marten: Well, she said she needed to clean and do laundry and stuff tonight. . . / PANEL 2
/ Faye: Do not be dense, Marten. That is the second oldest excuse in the female handbook, right after having to wash one's hair!
/ Marten: Why are you so intent on getting her to come over tonight, anyway? / PANEL 3
/ Faye: Dora is a lady just beginning to break out of her spooky shell. We will help her by exposing her to good, happy things such as sunlight and the Flaming Lips.
/ Marten: So Wayne Coyne is the antidote to wearing lots of black and listening to Apoptygma Berzerk? / PANEL 4
/ Faye: He turns gothy frowns to indie grins, as surely as Yoshimi wins!
/ Marten: Wow, I think that's the first indie-rock couplet I've ever heard.
/ Faye: I am like a hipster Emily Dickinson, only not a gay shut-in! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=111 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Faye: So do you think Dora has nicer breasts than I do?
/ Marten: Guh? Um, why are you asking?
/ Faye: It is something a girl likes to know, that is all! It is curiosity and nothing more.
/ Marten: No way. There is no answer I can possibly give that won't land me in deeper trouble. I'm not getting into this one.
/ Faye: Oh come on! It is a perfectly innocent inquiry, I promise!
/ Pintsize: I think you have very good-looking breasts, Faye.
/ Faye: Having one's bosoms complimented by a computer is either flattering or totally creepy, I am not sure which.
/ Pintsize: Well, considering all the porn I've downloaded for Marten, I think I'm pretty objective-
/ Marten [[cutting off Pintsize]]: Control alt delete! Control alt delete! http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=112 |
| Number 112: Ctrl/Alt/Del | PANEL 1
/ Faye: So do you think Dora his nicer breasts than I do?
/ Marten: Guh? Um, why are you asking?
/ Faye: It is something a girl likes to know, that is all! It is curiosity and nothing more. / PANEL 2
/ Marten: No way. There is no answer I can possibly give that won't land me in deeper trouble. I'm not getting into this one.
/ Faye: Oh come on! It is a perfectly innocent inquiry, I promise! / PANEL 3
/ Pintsize: I think you have very good-looking breasts, Faye. / PANEL 4
/ Faye: Having one's bosoms complimented by a computer is either flattering or totally creepy, I am not sure which.
/ Pintsize: Well considering all the porn I've downloaded for Marten, I think I'm pretty objective-
/ Marten: Control alt delete! Control alt delete! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=112 |
| Number 113: Scrabble Kidnapping Plot | Faye: Dora is completely lame for not coming over tonight.
/ Marten: Yeah, well, there's nothing we can do.
/ Pintsize: She is missing out on one hell of a Scrabble game. / Faye: Okay, that does it. Marten, you and I are going to go kidnap Dora and force her to have a good time tonight.
/ Marten: Wait, what? / Marten: Faye, she said she was busy tonight. This is a really bad idea.
/ Faye: If it is such a bad idea, why are you putting on your jacket? / Marten: It's obvious that nothing I say is going to deter you, but at least now I have plausible deniability for when Dora asks what the hell we're doing on her doorstep.
/ Faye: Oh admit it, you just want to see her topless again. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=113 |
| Number 113: Scrabble Kidnapping Plot | PANEL 1
/ Faye: Dora is completely lame for not coming over tonight.
/ Martne: Yeah, well, there's nothing we can do.
/ Pintsize: She is missing out on one hell of a Scrabble game. / PANEL 2
/ Faye: Okay, that does it. Marten, you and I are going to kidnap Dora and force her to have a good time tonight.
/ Marten: Wait, what? / PANEL 3
/ Marten: Faye, she said she was busy tonight. This is a really bad idea.
/ Faye: If it is such a bad idea, why are you putting on your jacket? / PANEL 4
/ Marten: It's obvious that nothing I say is going to deter you, but at least now I have plausible deniability for when Dora asks what the hell we're doing on her doorstep.
/ Faye: Oh admit it, you just want to see her topless again. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=113 |
| Number 114: Faye 2, Apartments 0 | Dora: Faye? Marten?
/ Faye: We have come to rescue you from a night of boredom and drudgery!
/ Marten: I tried to stop her, but she wouldn't listen. / Dora: Look, I appreciate it but I really have to-
/ Faye: Shush shush, off we go. / Dora: Wait, Faye don't-
/ Faye: You are coming with us, and that is final!
/ < http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=114 |
| Number 114: Faye 2, Apartments 0 | PANEL 1 / Dora: Faye? Marten?
/ Faye: We have come to rescue you from a night of boredom and drudgery!
/ Marten: I tried to stop her, but she wouldn't listen. / PANEL 2 / Dora: Look, I appreciate it, but I really have to--
/ Faye: Shush shush, off we go. / PANEL 3 / Dora: Wait, Faye don't--
/ Faye: You are coming with us and that is final!
/ (Click!) / PANEL 4 / Dora: Well, seeing as you just locked me out of my own apartment, I suppose I could tag along with you guys this evening.
/ Faye: Um... Oops?
/ Marten: At least she didn't burn it down. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=114 |
| Number 115: Clank | Marten: This is Pintsize, my AnthroPC.
/ Dora: Nice to meet you, little guy. I'm Dora.
/ Pintsize: Oh, you're the girl who flashed Marten? / Dora: Word gets around fast, I see.
/ Marten: Heheh well it just sorta came up in conversation. . .
/ Faye: Harlots frequently find themselves the subject of gossip. / Dora: Oh lighten up, Faye. The chastity belt must be really chafing your fanny today, or something.
/ Faye: I do not wear a chastity belt! / Dora: I bet your ass goes CLANK when you sit down on a hard surface!
/ Faye: It does no such thing! It goes smoosh just like any other girl's bottom!
/ Marten: See what I mean? they're like two wet cats fighting in a sack.
/ Pintsize: Only sexier! http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=115 |
| Number 115: Clank | Panel 1
/ Marten: This is Pintsize, my AnthroPC.
/ Dora: Nice to meet you, little guy. I'm Dora.
/ Pintsize: Oh, you're the girl who flashed Marten? / Panel 2
/ Dora: Word gets around fast, I see.
/ Marten: Heheh well it just sorta came up in conversation...
/ Faye: Harlots frequently find themselves the subject of gossip. / Panel 3
/ Dora: Oh lighten up, Faye. The chastity belt must be really chafing your fanny today, or something.
/ Faye: I do not wear a chastity belt! / Panel 4
/ Dora: I bet your ass goes CLANK when you sit down on a hard surface!
/ Faye: It does no such thing! It goes smoosh just like any other girl's bottom!
/ Marten: See what I mean? They're like two wet cats fighting in a sack.
/ Pintsize: Only sexier! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=115 |
| #116: Hipster Sweeties | Marten: So what kind of music are you into, Dora
/ Faye: All she ever plays in the coffeeshop is The Cure.
/ Dora: That's because they're one of the only bands I like that wouldn't scare away our customers. / Marten: Oh yeah? what kind of scary stuff are you into, then?
/ Dora: Let's see...Opeth and some other melodic death metal bands, Isis, Slayer, Mastodon, The Blood Brothers... / Dora: Why are you looking at me funny? Did I just fail some kind of secret hipster screening process? / Marten: No, no. I'm just not really sure how to behave around a girl who is way more metal than I will ever be.
/ Dora: Aww, are you all intimidated now? That's so cute!
/ Faye: Somewhere, a boy with a blonde mullet and a t-shirt with a skull on it just got a boner and he does not know why. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=116 |
| Hipster Sweeties (April 20, 2004) | 1
/ Marten: So what kind of music are you into, Dora?
/ Faye: All she ever plays in the coffeeshop is The Cure.
/ Dora: That's because they're one of the only bands I like that wouldn't scare away our customers. / 2
/ Marten: Oh yeah? What kind of scary stuff are you into, then?
/ Dora: Let's see... Opeth and some other melodic death metal bands, Isis, Slayer, Mastodon, the Blood Brothers... / 3
/ Dora: Why are you looking at me funny? Did I just fail some kind of secret hipster screening process? / 4
/ Marten: No, no. I'm just not really sure how to behave around a girl who is way more metal than I will ever be.
/ Faye: Somewhere, a boy with a blonde mullet and a t-shirt with a skull on it just got a boner, and he does not know why!
/ Dora: Aww, are you all intimidated now? That's so cute! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=116 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Dora: I think all the booze is making me want to pass out.
/ Marten: Yeah, I'm bushed.
/ Faye: Mmm, sleep...
/ Dora: So what are the sleeping arrangements?
/ Marten: Oh, uh, well you can sleep in my bed, Faye can keep the couch, and I'll just crash on the floor.
/ Faye: That is a silly idea.
/ Faye: Marten, you take the couch. Dora and I will each take a side of the bed. This way we all sleep comfortably and in a chaste manner.
/ Marten: I guess that makes sense...
/ Dora: Share a bed with me, Faye, and there will be very little of your precious chastity left in the morning. Rowr.
/ Marten: Well great. Thanks to that mental image, my genitalia have decided to pull an all-nighter.
/ Faye: You two keep your erections and lesbian tendencies to yourselves!
/ Dora: Hee hee! http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=117 |
| Nighty Night (April 22, 2004) | 1
/ Dora: I think all the booze is making me want to pass out.
/ Marten: Yeah, I'm bushed.
/ Faye: Mmm, sleep... / 2
/ Dora: So what are the sleeping arrangements?
/ Marten: Oh, uh, well you can sleep in my bed, Faye can keep the couch, and I'll just crash on the floor.
/ Faye: That is a silly idea. / 3
/ Faye: Marten, you take the couch. Dora and I will each take a side of the bed. This way we all sleep comfortably and in a chaste manner.
/ Marten: I guess that makes sense...
/ Dora: Share a bed with me, Faye, and there will be very little of your precious chastity left in the morning. Rowr. / 4
/ Marten: Well great. Thanks to that mental image, my genitalia have decided to pull an all-nighter.
/ Faye: You two keep you erections and lesbian tendencies to yourselves!
/ Dora: Hee hee! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=117 |
| Number 118: Evasive Action Underpants | Dora: I appreciate you lending me these pajamas, but I think they're a little big on me.
/ Faye: Well some of us have a bit more meat on our bones than others. You could be put out in a corn field to frighten off any marauding crows. / Dora: Very funny. Now it's time for some girl-talk. What's the deal with you and Marten, seriously? Anything going on there?
/ Faye: I might ask you the same thing.
/ Dora: You already know what I think of him, squishy-ass. He's the kind of boy that I would not mind smoochin'. / Dora: So? What are your feelings about our skinny, dark-haired host?
/ Faye: Marten is a nice young man, he is fun to be around and always there for me when I need him. / Dora: That's all well and good, but you didn't answer my question.
/ Faye: ZZZ WHAT IS THAT I CANNOT HEAR YOU I AM ASLEEP SO HARD RIGHT NOW ZZZ SNORE http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=118 |
| 118: Evasive Action Underpants | 1
/ Dora: I Appreciate you lending me these pajamas, but I think they're a little big on me.
/ Faye: Well some of us have a bit more meat on our bones than others. You could be put out in a corn field to frighten off any marauding crows. / 2
/ Dora: Very funny. Now it's time for some girl-talk. What's the deal with you and Marten, seriously? Anything going on there?
/ Faye: I might ask you the same thing.
/ Dora: You already know what I think of him, squishy-ass. He's the kind of boy that I would not mind smoochin'. / 3
/ Dora: So? What are your feelings about our skinny, dark-haired host?
/ Faye: Marten is a nice young man, he is fun to be around and always there for me when I need him. / 4
/ Dora: That's all well and good, but you didn't answer my question.
/ Faye: ZZZ WHAT IS THAT I CANNOT HEAR YOU I AM ASLEEP SO HARD RIGHT NOW ZZZ SNORE http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=118 |
| Number 119: Morning Persons | Marten: Morning girls. Did you sleep all right? / Dora: Meh. Faye snores.
/ Faye: Oh I do not! / Faye: You, skinny little stinker that you are, fart in your sleep!
/ Dora: I had a burrito for dinner, I can't help that!
/ Faye: Well it made it extremely hard to sleep next to you, Miss GassyPants. / Dora: Harsh words from a girl whose sinus cavities sound like a jet engine.
/ Faye: At least my bottom does not sound like a hippopotamus practicing his tuba!
/ Pintsize: I slept well.
/ Marten: Yeah, me too. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=119 |
| Number 119: Morning Persons | 1
/ Marten: Morning girls. Did you sleep all right? / 2
/ Dora: Meh. Faye snores.
/ Faye: Oh I do not! / 3
/ Faye: You, skinny little stinker that you are, fart in your sleep!
/ Dora: I had a burrito for dinner, I can't help that!
/ Faye: Well it made it extremely hard to sleep next to you, Miss GassyPants. / 4
/ Dora: Harsh words from a girl whose sinus cavities sound like a jet engine.
/ Faye: At least my bottom does not sound like a hippopotamus practicing his tuba!
/ Pintsize: I slept well.
/ Marten: Yeah, me too. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=119 |
| Questionable Content | {{Number 120: Like A Vulcan}} / [[Dora is leaving Marten's apartment after sleeping over the night after]]
/ Dora: Okay, I gotta run. My landlord's meeting me at the apartment to unlock it for me.
/ Marten: Right on, see you around.
/ Dora: Definitely. I had fun. / Faye: Look ath the suave boy! You earned yourself some major points with Dora, you know.
/ Marten: What are you talking about? / Faye: It is a classic scenario! Dora gets locked out of her apartment, you let her stay at your place, she has a good time, you are the total gentleman. Girls are unable to resist that sort of thing! She is probably so hot for you right now her underwear is in danger of igniting. / Marten: Faye, by that logic you'd have put me in the hospital due to sexual exhaustion by now.
/ Faye: Hmm. Do I admit a flaw in my normally impeccable reasoning, or do I just punch you for being a smartass? http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=120 |
| Number 120: Like A Vulcan | 1
/ Dora: Okay, I gotta run. My landlord's meeting me at the apartment to unlock it for me.
/ Marten: Right on, see you around.
/ Dora: Definitely, I had fun. / 2
/ Faye: Look at the suave boy! You earned yourself some major points with Dora, you know.
/ Marten: What are you talking about? / 3
/ Faye: It is a classic scenario! Dora gets locked out of her apartment, you let her stay at your place, she has a good time, you are the total gentleman. Girls are unable to resist that sort of thing! She is probably so hot for you right now her underwear is in danger of igniting. / 4
/ Marten: Faye, by that logic you'd have put me in the hospital due to sexual exhaustion by now.
/ Faye: Hmm. Do I admit to a flaw in my normally impeccable reasoning, or do I just punch you for being a smartass? http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=120 |
Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 >>