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| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Title: "Number 1232: A Crucial Task" / [[Sven's House]]
/ Sven: Hey, you even remembered to get the mail on the way up! Good job, Failthful Intern.
/ Lydia: Yeah. It wasn't exactly rocket science. / Sven: Sweet, a royalties check.
/ Lydia: Oooooh. / Sven: All right! That's it.
/ Lydia: What do you mean, "that's it?" / Sven: We're done for the day. Time to go relax! You any good at Mario Kart?
/ Lydia: You have got to be kidding! Thats ALL you were gonna do today?! / Sven: Hmm. I guess you're right. Since you're here, I might as well get som real work done. Come with me, you can help out.
/ Lydia: O-okay. / [[A bank, in front of an ATM machine that reads "BANK HAMPTON"]]
/ Sven: All right, I've entered my PIN. Now you canput the envelope in.
/ Lydia: Gee, I dunno if I can handle this kind of pressure.
/ Sven: You can do it! I believe in you! http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1232 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Number 1233: Libertarian Employment}} / [[Faye is pouting, arms folded; Dora is looking at Faye, stirring something in a carafe; Specials read: Honey latte, Nutty Mocha, Cup o' Bees]]
/ Faye: How come Sven gets an intern and we don't?
/ Dora: You just want soneone else to abuse all day. / [[Faye looks earnest, gesturing with her hands; Dora smiles]]
/ Faye: I'm serious! Why can't I have an intern do all the stupid chores I don't like doing?
/ Dora: Which would be what, everything except cashing your paycheck? / [[Faye holds her chin, looks up, thinking; Dora smiles craftily]]
/ Faye: No, I hate doing that too. I just keep forgetting to set up direct deposit.
/ Dora: So lemme get this straight- you're basically saying you want me to fire you and hire someone who'll do your job for free instead? / [[Penelope enters from the left, a bag slung over her shoulder, smiling; Faye turns to face Penelope, drops her arm; Dora smiles]]
/ Penelope: I'll take on Faye's shifts for a 25% raise. You save 75% on payroll and don't have to hire a new employee!
/ Faye: Hey, no fair!
/ Dora: It's not fair, it's laissez-faire. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1233 |
| Book of Secrets | [[Sven's apartment. Lydia is there]] / You're seriously not gonna do ANY work today?
/ I can't just sit down and expect to write a song. I have to wait for inspiration to strike. / Somehow I doubt doing nothing all day is going to entice the Inspiration Fairy to come visit.
/ I'm sorry, which of us is the professional songwriter, again? / You know what? This was a mistake. Forget the whole internship thing. It was nice meeting you. / All right, all right, don't go. Here. This is where I keep all the titles for songs I wanna write. Take a look. / "She dumped me so I had her trailer towed?" "Redneck ain't my middle name (but it should be)?" "Dale Earnhardt blues?" "Never forget to never forget?" You seriously expect to SELL these? / We're talking about a genre of music where a song called "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk" is a bona fide hit.
/ ... Point taken. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1234 |
| Also possibly a burro | [[The cafe]] / No, see, I'd actually be losing MORE money, because you be geting paid more for working borh your shifts and Faye's shifts.
/ Oh. Damn, I'm bad at math.
/ Yesss, my employment is secure! / Don't get cocky. We could still replace you. Maybe with a mule or something.
/ Har har, very funny. / Oh, I'm not joking. Mules have about the same temperament as you, only than can carry much heavier loads.
/ We could sell the mule-poop as fertilizer, and it wouldn't be able to raid the baked-goods case because it doesn't have thumbs! / I'd only have to pay it in oats, and the difference in smell is barely noticeable!
/ Instead of biting sarcasm, there would be literal biting of customers.
/ We also share an affinity for kicking. Allow me to demonstrate. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1235 |
| I am a horrible man | Your big day is tomorrow, Jeph! You should take the night off!
/ I can't. I'm already taking tomorrow off. The readers would murder me. / Then how about just drawing whatever you feel like drawing?
/ Hmm, that's not a bad idea... / [[lazily-rendered robot jokes]] / What did the router say to the computer
/ I dunno what
/ Nothing it was not properly configured
/ Ha Ha Cocks HaHa / [[blatant pandering]]
/ Would you do me next, Penny?
/ Sure!
/ A wave swept away my top, and all I could find were these shells! / [[Graphic sex acts!]]
/ Dora what are you doing behiOHGOD http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1236 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Guest comic by Lem; Number 1237: We are the space robots}} / [[Dora turns away from Marten, holding her face]
/ Dora: Marten, I have to talk to you.
/ Marten: Uh... Ok, what is it?
/ Dora: I have a terrible secret... / [[Dora pulls off her face, revealing a robot face; Marten is surprised]]
/ Dora: I'm a robot! I've always been a robot! our relationship is doomed! I'm sorry! / [[Marten holds his face]]
/ Marten: No, I'm sorry, I've got a secret too. / [[Marten pulls off his face, revealing a robot face]]
/ Marten: You see, I'm also a robot!
/ Dora: *gasp*
/ Marten: Yes, quite. / [[Faye comes in between Marten and Dora, smiling with her arm around Marten's shoulder]]
/ Faye: Hey guys! Now you've revealed your secrets, I can reveal mine! Guess what is it?! / [[Faye pulls off her face revealing a smiley robot face; Dora looks upset; Marten turns to the side]]
/ < http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1237 |
| Questionable Prioirities | Pathetic blood bags! Prepare to go to a better place! Repainting the walls of my rec room! / AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! / What do you think you're doing?
/ Saving a trip to home depot. / Didn't your mother teach you to wash after rupturing people's intestines?
/ *sniff* I... killed her too early. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1238 |
| Good for him, really | [[At the cafe]] / Well hello there Casanova, what can I do for you today?
/ I... I need to speak with Penelope. / What's up?
/ Penelope, I... I know I'm probably the laughingstock of this establishment, but I have to ask anyway, if only to feel the cleansing astringence of rejection. Would you like to go out to dinner with me sometime? / Okay.
/ Okay?
/ Yeah. What day did you have in mind? / I... uh... F-friday, perhaps?
/ Sounds good to me. I get off work at right. You just wanna meet me here?
/ O-okay. S-see you then. / What? He seems like a nice guy, and I haven't been asked out in forever.
/ I'm sure that's what some of Jeffrey Dahmer's victims said too.
/ I'd say "If he's friends with Sven he can't be that bad," but considering some of Sven's other friends... http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1239 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Number 1240: Neither Borrower Nor Lnder Be}}
/ [[Sven and Lydia on the couch, Lydia looking at a sheet of paper in her hand, Sven plucking a guitar, looking at Lydia; Wil enters from the side with arms in the arm, looking very surprised]]
/ Sven: Now typically you'd want to resolve that up to G major, but I'm gonna throw 'em a curveball and-
/ Wil: SHE SAID YES! / [[Sven looks confusedly over at Wil, Wil has his arms at the side, away form his body]]
/ Sven: Huh?
/ Wil: Penelope! Me! Dinner on Friday! SHE SAID YES! / [[Sven leans his arm on the back of the couch, Wil closes his eyes and puts his hands on his hips, both smiling]]
/ Sven: Congratulations, man. Where are you takin' her?
/ Wil: Chez Albert. We shall sup on the finest French cuisine. / [[Sven and Wil look at each other, a bit serious]]
/ Sven: That place is wicked pricey, dude. How're you gonna pay for it?
/ Wil: I need to borrow two hundred dollars. / [[Sven turns his back to Wil; Wil stands, looking confused down an a bill in his hands; Lydia and Sven look unimpressed]]
/ Sven: Here.
/ Wil: Th-this is only a twenty.
/ Sven: So go make nine more friends.
/ Lydia: Or be an extremely ambitious panhandler. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1240 |
| The worst kind of boy | [[The Cafe]] / I still say he's a creep.
/ You just can't stand to see anyone else happy.
/ ENOUGH with the bickering, you two. Faye, go clean the bathroom. Penelope, you're on register duty. / You don't really think he's a creep, do you?
/ I dunno, hon. He seems nice enough. He's awkward as hell, but then again Marten isn't exactly Mister Suave himself, so...
/ < http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1241 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Number 1242: Very, Very Specific}} / [[Penelope leans on one arm on the counter, gestures toward Dora with the other hand; Dora stands across from Penelope hugging her arms in a "Blood Blood Blood" t-shirt]]
/ Penelope: ...And then there was JARED, who actually had the gall to ask if I was "gonna put out or not" once it because clear we had nothing in common.
/ Dora: Okay Penny, I think I know what your problem is. / [[Close-up of Penelope and Dora]]
/ Penelope: Oh?
/ Dora: You keep letting the GUYS make the first move. What kind of guy do YOU want? You gotta go out and find him, no sit around hoping he'll drop into your lap.
/ Penelope: Hmm. I'd never really thought of it like that... / [[Penelope looks away, thinking with her finger on her chin]]
/ Penelope: Well, I really like reading so he's gotta be into that...
/ Dora: Okay.
/ Penelope: And I've gotta be attracted to him physically, obviously...
/ Dora: Uh huh. / [[Penelope looks back at Dora, holding a single finger up]]
/ Penelope: And it's okay if he plays SOME video games, but he can't be a total gamer-nerd or anything.
/ Dora: Right.
/ Penelope: And he has to be neat. I can't stand messy guys.
/ Dora: Yeah. / [[Penelope looks up again, counting off on her fingers; Dora lifts her hands in front of her]]
/ Penelope: He has to be outgoing but not an attention whore, educated but not pretentious, creative but not a starving artist, at least three inches taller than me, not overweight, doesn't do drugs, no weird fetishes...
/ Dora: Okay, okay, I think that's specific enough.
/ Penelope: No, hang on, I'm not done. Lemme borrow your laptop. I'll make a spreadsheet. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1242 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Number 1243: Canadians Do It Better}}
/ [[Set in library; Marten, in brown t-shirt reading "Bear vs. Shark", holds a brown book; Hannelore, in pink t-shirt reading "Blood Wizard", looks at Martern]]
/ Hannelore: Hey Marten, I'd like to take this out.
/ Marten: "A History of Mental Illness and Treatment?" Doin' some pretty heavy reading, huh.
/ Hannelore: Yeah, doctor Corrinne says it'll give me a new appreciation of how lucky I am. / [[Marten has book open on desk, stamp in hand; Hannelore is hugging her arms]]
/ Marten: Oh yeah?
/ Hannelore: Uh huh. Apparently as little as sixty years ago, I would've been on all kinds of horrible medicines, or shock treatments, or even lobotomized. / [[Tai enters from the right, wearing a tank-top which reads "LGBTerriffic!"; Hannelore is holding her book, Martenis looking at Tai, and Tai is leaning with one hand on the desk]]
/ Tai: You know how doctors used to treat "hysteria" in women?
/ Hannelore: No, how?
/ Tai: They thought orgasms treated hysteria, so the physician would stimulate the woman's clit with a vibrator. / [[Marten looks at Tai, raising an eyebrow; Tai looks at Hannelore, raising an eyebrow; Hannelore looks back at Tai, mortified and with hands up]]
/ Hannelore: Aagh! Really?!
/ Tai: Yeah. Wanna go play old-timey doctor?
/ Hannelore: N-no thanks. That's not covered by my health plan.
/ Marten: So does that make polyamory socialized healthcare? http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1243 |
| Disturbing plans | [[In the library]] / I really wish you wouldn't flirt with Hannelore like that. It freaks her out.
/ Why, is she not into girls? / I don't think she's really "into" anyone. She's too weirded out by physical contact and fluids and stuff.
/ Oh, that makes it even better. I can corrupt her. / I don't think she'd appreciate your attempted corrupting.
/ How do you know? Maybe she just needs someone to pull her out of her comfort zone. I bet she'd be totally into it. / Hannelore doesn't HAVE a comfort zone.
/ Well then I'll help her find it. With my tongue.
/ You'd render her catatonic!
/ Damn right I would. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1244 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Number 1245: From Forward Into Reverse}}
/ [[Marten and Tai are walking outside the library, both with hands inside their respective hoodies, both looking slightly concerned; Tai's hoodie reads "Smif"]]
/ Marten: I'm serious though, please don't mess with Hanners too much.
/ Tai: She's really that fucked up?
/ Marten: She can't handle physical contact. If anyone so much as hugs her she has a massive panic attack. / [[Side shot of Tai and Marten looking sad]]
/ Tai: Wow, that's... really sad.
/ Marten: Yeah, I know. / [[Shot of Marten and Tai, side-by-side, in front of the college, both looking downwards]] / [[Tai looks up and smiles, Marten looks at Tai]]
/ Tai: Hey, I have an idea!
/ Marten: What? / [[Tai raises her arms and turns toward Marten; Marten slouches, turns towards Tai, and looks wholly disturbed]]
/ Tai: Let's go get my clit pierced!
/ Marten: I'm... I'm speechless. That may be the greatest non-sequitur in human history. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1245 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Number 1246: Halcyon Days}}
/ [[A happy Tai drags a nervous Marten down the street by the hand; two people are walking passed them, one wearing a "Brooklyn" hoodie; a storefront has signs in the window, like "Bad Art!" and "Sale]]
/ Marten: We're not seriously going to get your lady-bits pierced, are we?
/ Tai: Of course we are! / [[Tai glances back at Marten, there are people walking behind them]]
/ Marten: Why do you need ME to come along?
/ Tai: It'll b more fun with a friend! / [[Tai looks up at Marten, Marten looks uncomfortably down at Tai; they pass a man with a pdf and two drunk people, one with a hoodie wihch reads "BAPE"]]
/ Marten: C-couldn't one of your girlfriends go with you instead?
/ Tai: Quit bein' such a pansy. It'll be a bonding experience! / [[Marten is sarcastic as he and Tai pass a smoking man in a "Megagamerz" hoodie]]
/ Marten: Oh, yes, of course. Why, back at summer camp the other boys and I would sit up late in rfont of the fire, telling secrets and jamming fishing hooks through our foreskins.
/ Tai: Kinky.
/ Marten: Oh yeah, it was great. One night Joey Malone went skinny-dipping and caught a largemouth bass. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1246 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Number 1247: Some Liberties Taken}}
/ [[A tattoo artist with black and pink dreds pulls on pink rubber gloves; Tai sits on a bed, looking at Marten; Marten stands behind the bed; two signs: "Yes this will hurt" and "Tip and I'll be gentle"; sanitary products on table]]
/ Marten: Do I really have to be back here with you?
/ Tai: Yes. I need someone to hold my hand.
/ Lady: Okay, I'm all set. / [[Tai gets off bed and pulls down her pants/panties; Marten leans back, horrified; the tattoo artist looks confused, at Marten]]
/ Tai: All right! Let's do this thing!
/ Marten: Gah! Y-you can't just strip down in front of me! / [[Tai hugs her arms, smiling; Marten turns away with his hands behind his neck, blushing hard]]
/ Tai: Oh come ON Marten. Quit bein' such a prude! It's just a pussy! You're seen them before!
/ Marten: Yeah, but they weren't YOURS!
/ Tai: I'm comfortable with my body. If your not, you don't have to look. / [[Tai sits on the edge of the bed; Marten stands behind Tai, holding her hand and looking awkward; tattoo artist kneels in front of Tai with a swab in her hand]]
/ Tai: Sorry, my friend here is a little squeamish.
/ Lady: He's not gonna faint or anything, it he?
/ Marten: I'll be fine.
/ Lady: Good. Last kid who fainted in here woke up missing a kidney, and my Mustang got its engine rebuilt. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1247 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Number 1248: That's The Hard Part}}
/ [[Tattoo artist lady stands with hands on hips, smiling, looking at Tai; Tai sits on edge of bed, loking down and smiling; Marten stands off to the right, expressing little]]
/ Lady: So what do you think?
/ Tai: This is AWESOME! / [[Tattoo artist pulls off her gloves, looking at Tai, who is smiling at the lady]]
/ Lady: Okay, lemme go over the aftercare instructions with you.
/ Until the initial healing period is over, use a sea salt rinse twie a day, no touching the piercing with dirts hands, and absolutely no contact with someone else's bodily fuilds down there. That means no kissing, no licking, no nothing. / [[Tai looks a bit shocked; tattoo artist looks back at Tai]]
/ Tai: W-wait, so... no sex?
/ Lady: Not without a condom or a dental dam. / [[Tattoo atrist is grabbing her forehead, Marten is grabbing Tai's shoulder, and Tai is horrified]]
/ Marten: Tai? Tai, are you okay?
/ Tai: I'm... I'm allergic to latex!
/ Lady: I have GOT to start going over this with people BEFORE they get their junk pierced. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1248 |
| Good thing they still have it | [[The Cafe]] / Hey kids, what's up?
/ Dora! Dora! I got my hood pierced! / Ohmigod! How's it turn out?
/ AWESOME! Wanna see?
/ Uh, YES! / C'mon, let's go in the back.
/ 'Kay! / [[Marten and Faye look on]] / OHMIGOD it's so CUTE!
/ You think so?
/ My girlfriend is cooing over my boss's vulva like it was a newborn kitten.
/ Here. Have some emergency Bourbon. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1249 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Number 1250: A Penny's Worth Indeed}} / [[Dora and Marten walk side-by-side down the street; a man with a mustache is working on a laptop at a table; a hairy man is holding a picket sign]]
/ Dora: Does it bother you that I wanted to see Tai's piercing?
/ Marten: No, no... I mean, I was there for the whole deal, you know? Like, she totally just stripped down in front of me. / [[Dora reaches out, touches Marten's arm and smiles]]
/ Dora: Haha, I wish I have been there to see the look on your face.
/ Marten: It was... surprising. / [[Dora and Marten are silent, and thoughtful]] / [[Dora reaches up to Marten's shoulder, both lool concerned]]
/ Dora: We're both thinking about Tai naked, aren't we?
/ Marten: ...Yeah.
/ Dora: This is weird, isn't it.
/ Marten: ...Yeah. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1250 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Number 1251: To The Best Of Their Ability}} / [[Lydia is standing at the foot of the couch with one hand on her hip and a roll of papers in her other hand; Sven is lounging on the couch reading a book]]
/ Lydia: Okay, your Les Paul's got a fresh set of strings, I reorganized your important documents, and I ordered you some more chart paper. Anything else you need done?
/ Sven: Yeah, I've got laundry that needs to go in the dryer and I'm out of toilet paper. / [[Lydia is angry, brandishing the papers at Sven; Sven braces for a hit with an arm over his head]]
/ Lydia: I'm your intern, not your mother.
/ Sven: Fine, fine! You're done for today. Thanks for your help. / [[Lydia calms down, looks down at Sven; Sven smiles]]
/ Lydia: You really mean that? I know you were wasted when you agreed to do this. If it's too much of a pain in the ass...
/ Sven: No, no. I could use a little more structure in my life, and I don't mind showin' you the ropes. / [[Close-up of Sven and Lydia, both serious]]
/ Sven: One thing, though, is important.
/ Lydia: Yes? / [[Sven stands, grabs Lydia's arms; Lydia turns her head and looks exasperated]]
/ Sven: No tryin' to seduce me. It's unethical to sleep with an intern and I'm not very good at saying no.
/ Lydia: But how will I ever find the strength to contain my wild, lascivious impulses?
/ Sven: I'm sorry. It's hard for me, too. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1251 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Number 1252: Risky Business Indeed}} / [[In Faye and Marten's kitchen; Hannelore stands by the door, holding her hands; Faye looks back at Hannelore whiling stirring something in a bowl]]
/ Hannelore: Hey Faye, whatcha doin'?
/ Faye: Hey Hanners. Bakin' cookies. / [[Hannelore approached Faye]]
/ Hannelore: Oh, neat. Is it some special occasion?
/ Faye: Yes. I wanted cookies. / [[Hannelore holds cookie sheet, Faye drops batter onto sheet]]
/ Hannelore: I've never baked anything before. Is it hard?
/ Faye: Eh, not really. You follow instructions and if you get them right, food happens. / [[Hannelore holding sheet, Faye raising wooden spoon]]
/ Hannelore: What if you get them wrong?
/ Faye: Shame and recrimination, made that much worse by lack of cookies. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1252 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Number 1253: A Viscous Substance}} / [[Hannelore sits on Marten and Faye's couch with a chocolate-chip cookie; Pintsize stands on the back of the couch, arm extended towards Hannelore]]
/ Pintsize: Can I have a cookie?
/ Hannelore: Marten says you're not allowed to have cookies. / [[Pintsize's hands come together, a clear-fluid fills his "eyes"]]
/ Pintsize: Pleeeeeeease? / [[The fluid drips onto the couch, burning a whole through it]]
/ < http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1253 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Number 1254: Does This Look Infected?}} / [[Faye stands behind couch, goggling at the burned holes; Hannelore sits with her hands in her lap, also staring at the couch]]
/ Faye: What happened to our couch?!
/ Hannelore: Pintsize oozed some sort of... liquid onto it. / [[Faye closes her eyes and holds her forehead; Hannelore turns to Faye, looking worried]]
/ Faye: Jesus. Marty's gonna be PISSED.
/ Hannelore: I'm sorry! I should've stopped him, but I didn't know what it was, and it seems to be highly caustic, and...
/ Faye: It's okay, it's not your fault. We'll just... throw a blanket over it or something. / [[Faye has hands on hips, looks sternly at Pintsize; Hannelore also looks at Pintsize, holding one arm]]
/ Faye: And where do you think YOU'RE going?
/ Pintsize: What do humans typically do when they find themselves leaking an unknown substance from one of their orifices? / [[Faye drops one hand, looks confused; Hannelore makes fists, drops her head and looks away; Pintsize is happy]]
/ Faye: They... go to the doctor?
/ Pintsize: NO, they go post pictures of it on the inernet.
/ Hannelore: Which is why I have to turn the images off when I browse Wikipedia. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1254 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Number 1255: Consummate]] / [[Dora is standing behind the counter with one hand on the counter; Penelope is in front of the counter, eyes closed, hands folded, swaying a bit; Specials read: Erotic Toast, with a drawing of a piece of toast with an erect penis]]
/ Penelope: It's Friday and I have a date la la la I have a date
/ Dora: Excited? / [[Penelope looks slightly worried]]
/ Penelope: I'm kinda nervous, actually. He should've been here ten minutes ago.
/ Dora: I'm sure he's just running behind. / [[Wil enters, dressed in a suit and covered in mud, clutching his left arm; Penelope is shocked]]
/ Wil: Hello, Penelope. Sorry I'm late.
/ Penelope: Oh my God, what HAPPENED to you?! / [[Close-up of Wil and Penelope, Penelope reaching out to Wil]]
/ Wil: I was... riding my bicycle over here, when a delivery truck clipped my back wheel and sent me careening into a mailbox. I fear my arm's broken.
/ Penelope: What?! Why did you come HERE then? You should be at the hospital! / [[Penelope places her hand on Wil; Dora lifts a hand, looking at Penelope]]
/ Wil: A gentleman never stands a lady up.
/ Dora: Should I call an ambulance?
/ Penelope: No, I'll take him to the emergency room. I've had worse dates. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1255 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Number 1256: Grey's Anatomy}} / [[Leaving the hospital; Wil looks sadly down at his sling; Penelope looks up at Wil]]
/ Wil: I can't believe this.
/ Penelope: I'm really sorry about your arm. / [[Penelope looks up at Wil and smiles]]
/ Wil: I'm the one who should be apologizing, Penelope. I'd planned for us to go to dinner, catch a movie...
/ Penelope: It's okay! Accidents happen. I'm just glad you're all right. / [[Both angry, looking away from each other; Penelope has her shoulders hunched]]
/ Wil: And the NERVE of that doctor, to hit on you in front of me!
/ Penelope: Ugh, don't remind me. He spent more time looking at my boobs than your x-rays. / [[Wil grabs the back of his neck, blushes, and looks away; Penelope smiles and points at Wil]]
/ Wil: I must confess, when they were setting the bone I... may have glanced at them once or twice myself.
/ Penelope: "Once or twice?" You were staring so hard I thought my shirt was gonna catch fire.
/ Wil: I'm sorry! They were right at eye level, and I needed something pleasant to concentrate on! http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1256 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Number 1257: Hey Poor Self-Esteem}} / [[Wil and Penelope are standing on her doorstep]]
/ Wil: Well. Here we are.
/ Penelope: Yes, here we are. / [[The look at each other and smile]]
/ Wil: I... can't exactly say I had FUN tonight, but... I'm glad you were with me. Thank you.
/ Penelope: You're welcome. I'm glad too. / [[Wil grabs the back of his neck, looking nervous]]
/ Wil: Do you think we could do this again sometime? I mean, without the physical trauma and hospital visit.
/ Penelope: Yes. I'd like that. / [[Wil looks tired, with little bubbles around his head; Penelope looks sarcastic]]
/ Wil: Sven tells me that at his point if the date is going well I should invite you up to my apartmentm but to be honest the Vicodin just kicked in and I'd like to go lay down.
/ Penelope: Ooh, rejected in favor of painkillers. Time to go sob over a pint of Ben & Jerry's. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1257 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Number 1258: For Great Justice}}
/ [[Penelope and Dora are glaring at Faye, who is laughing; Specials: pictue of cheese]]
/ Faye: Wait, he BROKE his ARM? Bahahaha!
/ Penelope: It's not funny! / [[Faye standing in front of the espresso machine, smiling; Penelope leaning against the bored, arms folded, pouting]]
/ Faye: Hey, don't get all bent outta shape. I feel bad for him. Really. But c'mon, you gotta admit it IS pretty hilarious. / [[Espresso machine blows up in Faye's face; the blast blows Penelope's hair back]]
/ < http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1258 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Number 1259: No Offense to the Bedouin}} / [[Wil and Sven walk down the street; Sven smiling]]
/ Wil: ...And there she was, by my side all the while, her eyes two limpid pools of sweetest sympathy towards my infirm state.
/ Sven: Good job turning a shitty situation to your advantage. / [[Wil closes his eyes and smiles; Sven is shocked, with his hands up in the air]]
/ Wil: It isnt about "advantage." I'm in love, Sven. I love her!
/ Sven: Whoa whoa whoa whoa WHOA. Slow down, buddy. You're not in love, you're just infatuated. And high on painkillers. / [[Wil looks a bit sad, Sven looks unimpressed]]
/ Wil: You don't understand. She's beautiful, kind, graceful, charming... perfect in every way!
/ Sven: I guarantee you she's not. There's no such thing as the perfect girl. / [[Wil looks annoyed, Sven gestures with his hand]]
/ Wil: Just because you haven't met one doesn't mean they don't exist.
/ Sven: Look, I'm not saying she isn't great. But you're gonna be disappointed when the infatuation fades and you realize she's just a regular person after all. / [[Wil looks away, angry; Sven looks at Wil, annoyed]]
/ Wil: This is pointless. Getting relationship advice from you is like getting sailing instructions from a Bedouin,
/ Sven: Actually it's more like a physicist giving long division lessons to a ten-year-old. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1259 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Number 1260: Karma Police}} / [[Dora is pissed, looking inside the espresso machine; Penelope and Faye watch her, slightly worried]]]
/ Dora: Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK! / [[Dora faces Faye, yelling and angry; Faye looks upset, hands in the air]]
/ Dora: This thing is completely fucking RUINED! What the HELL did you do?!
/ Faye: I didn't do anything! It just blew up on me! / [[Dora grabs her forehead, grinding her teetch; Faye is worried, reaches out to Dora]]
/ God DAMNIT, do you have any IDA how expensive this is gonna be?
/ Faye: I'm sorry, I...
/ Dora: No. No. Don't even talk to me right now. I'll be in the back. / [[Faye is very worried; Penelope looks concerned and puts her hand on Faye's shoulder]]
/ Faye: Jesus, I think she might actually fire my over this.
/ Penelope: Oh, no she wouldn't. It's not your fault, it could've been any one of us. / [[Penelope puts her arm around Faye's shoulder and smiles]]
/ Faye: Why are you being so nice to me all of a sudden>
/ Penelope: Sympathy is healthier than schadenfreude.
/ Faye: No wonder I have so much cellulite. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1260 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Number 1261: Pair of Pliers and a Blowtorch}} / [[Penelope is pouring a cup fo coffee; Dora stands in front of the counter, pointing back with her thumb]]
/ Dora: I just got off the phone with the repair guy.
/ Penelope: And?
/ Dora: He says I'd be better off buying a new machine than trying to fix that one. When I told his the model number he started LAUGHING. / [[Penelope and Faye turn towards Dora; Faye's hands are clasped and she looks sad; Dora is holding her head]]
/ Penelope: Ooh, ouch.
/ Faye: I'm really sorry, Dora. I don't know what happened!
/ Dora: It's not your fault. That thing was pretty rickety to begin with. I'm sorry I yelled at you. / [[Close-up of Dora and Faye]]
/ Faye: So... we're getting a new espresso machine then, right? And we can't use the old busted one anymore?
/ Dora: Yeah, why? / [[Faye looks crafty, making a fist]]
/ Faye: Because that motherfucker and I have a score to settle. I'ma go Office Space on that bitch.
/ Dora: Sorry, Faye. I need to sell the parts to help pay for the new machine.
/ Faye: No problem. I bet eBay has a whole category for "smoldering debris." http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1261 |
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