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| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Faye: Oh man, was I just relatively polite to that last guy? I think I might have run out of sarcasm!
/ Dora: That or you're just in a good mood. / Faye: What is this "good mood" you speak of? It is an alien concept to me.
/ Dora: Self-deprecation? From you? you MUST be happy. / Faye: well, this is the first day in a long time where I can say I did something good for myself.
/ Dora: So therapy went that well, huh? Or did you finally discover the joys of self-stimulation? / Faye: therapy, you deviant. some of us can't solve all of our problems with a hot bath and a Harlequin romance novel.
/ Dora: Really? have you tried slik bedsheets and a stack of Lord of the Rings erotica? "Diff'rent stokes for diff'rent folks" and all that.
/ Faye: Great, now all I can think about is Gary Coleman slashfic. I am officialy asexual. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=661 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Faye: Oh man, was I just relatively polite to that guy? I think I might have run out of sarcasm!
/ Dora: That or you're just in a good mood. / Faye: What is this "good mood" you speak of? It is an alien concept to me.
/ Dora: Self-deprication? From you? You MUST be happy. / Faye: Well, it's the first day in a long time where I can say I did something good for myself.
/ Dora: So therapy went well, huh? Or did you finally discover the joys of self-stimulation? / Faye: Therapy, you deviant. Some of us can't solve all our problems with a hot bath and a Harlequin romance novel.
/ Dora: Really? Have you tried silk bedsheets and a stack of Lord of the Rings erotica? "Diff'rent strokes for diff'rent folks" and all that.
/ Faye: Great, now all I can think about is Gary Coleman slashfic. I am officially asexual. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=661# |
| Questionable Content: the beginning | {{TITLE BAR: Questionable Contet: the beginning}}
/ [[Pintsize-ninja-turtle holds up a slice of pizza]]
/ Pintsize-ninja-turtle: Cowabunga! / [[Pintsize-ninja-turtle swings his lasso looking depressed]]
/ Pintsize-ninja-turtle: I don't like being the on with the lasso
/ [[Rafael offers him his Sai]]
/ Rafael: Trade
/ Pintsize-ninja-turtle: no. / [[Pintsize-ninja-turtle is being scolded by Splinter]]
/ Splinter: You suck. Give me your shell / [[Pintsize-ninja-turtle whips Splinter with the lasso]]
/ Pintsize-ninja-turtle: eat rope! < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=662 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Pintsize (as a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle): COWABUNGA! / Pintsize (still as a TMNT): I don't like being the one with the lasso
/ Raphael: Trade you.
/ Pintsize: no. / Splinter (as indicated by an arrow and label): You suck. Give me your shell. / Pintsize (still as a TMNT): eat rope!
/ < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=662# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Hi Faye!
/ H...Hannelore? What happened to all your hair? / I read a WikiPedia article about head lice and got kind of freaked out. How was Dr. Corrine? Did you get along?
/ Oh, uh she was nice! Thanks for getting me in touch with her. / Hee! This is so great, it's like we're Therapy Sisters now!
/ Heheh, right. Just don't go carving my name into your forearm. / Aww, and I had my scalpel in the autoclave and everything.
/ You know, if you keep playing up the "ooh I'm CRAZY" act, eventually people will stop taking you seriously.
/ And that's when I'll strike!
/ I can see the news reports now. "Local woman goes on city-wide cleaning rampage. 'We should have seen it coming' say neighbors." http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=663 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Outside Apartment 20: Hannelore enters with short hair, waving to Faye]]
/ Hannelore: Hi Faye!
/ Faye: H...Hannelore? What happened to all your hair? / [[Entering Martin and Faye's apartment: Hannelore and Faye walk, talking and smiling.]]
/ Hannelore: I read a WikiPedia article about head lice and got kind of freaked out. How was Dr. Corrine? Did you get along?
/ Faye: Oh, uh she was nice! Thanks for getting me in touch with her. / [[Inside Martin and Faye's apartment: Hannelore smiles and Faye looks skeptically and worried at her]]
/ Hannelore: Hee! This is so great, it's like we're Therapy Sisters now!
/ Faye: Heheh, right. Just don't go carving my name into your forearm. / [[Inside Martin and Faye's apartment: Hannelore gives Faye a crazy stare, Faye raises an eyebrow and smiles]]
/ Hannelore: Aww, and I had my scalpel in the autoclave and everything.
/ Faye: You know, if you keep playing up the "ooh I'm CRAZY" act, eventually people will stop taking you seriously.
/ Hannelore: And that's when I'll strike!
/ Faye: I can see the news reports now. "Local woman goes on city-wide cleaning rampage. 'We should have seen it coming' say neighbors." http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=663# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Amir: So let's call that last song "Death Throes of the Unicorn Prince". Good Practice guys!
/ Natasha: You've named every song we've written so far after unicorns! What gives? / Amir: Well, I was kinda thinking we could do a concept album about them. You know, mystical unicorn kingdom, prince gets exiled, goes on adventures, reclaims the throne only to meet a tragic end...
/ Natasha: Amir, you know I love you but this is a RETARDED idea. Seriously, this idea so retarded Carlos Mencia would feel bad making fun of it.
/ Marten: "Deathmole: A Tribute to the Subconsious of Syd Barrett." / Amir: Hmph. What's so bad about it?
/ Natasha: We're an INSTRUMENTAL band. How are we supposed to tell some wacked-out story about unicorns if we don't have a singer?
/ Marten: "Deathmole: Bastard Offspring of Tolkien and Explosions in the Sky." / Amir: Marten's guitar represents the Unicorn Prince. Your keyboard represents the Coven of Pony Witches and my bass represents the nomadic Giraffe Tribe which the Unicorn Prince must befriend in order to regain the throne.
/ Natasha: Dude you just took the story from Dune and replaced all the people with equines.
/ Marten: "Deathmole: At Least We're Not Ripping Off Star Wars." http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=664 |
| The Horn Is Life | Amir: So let's call that last song "Death Throes of the Unicorn Prince". Good practice, guys!
/ Natasha: You've named every song we've written so far after unicorns! What gives? / Amir: Well, I was kinda thinking we could do a concept album about them. You know, mystical unicorn kingdom, prince gets exiled, goes on adventures, reclaims the throne only to meet a tragic end...
/ Marten: "Deathmøle: A Tribute to the Subconscious of Syd Barret."
/ Natasha: Amir, you know I love you but this is a RETARDED idea. Seriously, this idea is so retarded Carlos Mencia would feel bad making fun of it. / Amir: Hmph. What's so bad about it?
/ Natasha: We're an INSTRUMENTAL band. How are we supposed to tell some wacked-out story about unicorns if we don't have a singer?
/ Marten: "Deathmøle: Bastard Offspring of Tolkien and Explosions in the Sky." / Amir: Marten's guitar represents the Unicorn Prince. Your keyboard represents the Coven of Pony Witches and my bass represents the nomadic Giraffe Tribe which the Unicorn Prince must befriend in order to regain the throne.
/ Natasha: Dude you just took the story from Dune and replaced all the people with equines.
/ Marten: "Deathmøle: At Least We're Not Ripping Off Star Wars." http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=664# |
| Number 665: Made From Cows? | Faye: C'mrere, you. If you're gonna go and chop your hair off it might as well be even in the back.
/ Hannelore: Wait, are those scissors sterilized? Did you wash your hands? Did you use antibacterial soap? Have you touched anything since you washed them?
/ Faye: See this look? This is my "sit down and shut up" look. / Faye: So, traditional barber small-talk time: do your folks live around here?
/ Hannelore: Oh, hahah, no way. They can't stand each other, there's no way they'd live in the same town. They're both massively wealthy, so mom has estates all over the world and daddy spends most of his time on the space station. / Faye: Space station? So he's an astronaut?
/ Hannelore: No, he just has his own space station. That's actually where I grew up. I came down here because super-intelligent orbital defense satellites are good for casual conversation but can't provide much in the way of useful therapy. / Faye: So you're not only crazy as hell and richer than the average Saudi prince, you're from friggin' space?
/ Hannelore: Yep! I'd say "explains a lot, doesn't it" only it doesn't really explain very much.
/ Pintsize: I'm the king of the beasts! Rrroarrrr! http://questionablecontent.net//view.php?comic=665 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Number 665: Made From Cows?}}
/ [[Two women standing in an appartment. One woman is holding a pair of scissors]]
/ Faye; C'mere you. If you're gonna go and chop your hair off it might as well be even in the back.
/ Hannalore; Wait, are those scissors sterilized? Did you wash your hands? Did you use antibacterial soap? Have you touched anything since you washed them?
/ Faye; See this look? This is my "sit down, and shut up" look. / [[Side view. Faye is sitting on the couch, Hannalore is sitting on the floor. Faye is cutting Hannalore's hair]]
/ Faye; So, traditional barber small-talk time: do your folks live around here?
/ < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=665 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Faye, gesturing with scissors at Hannelore]]
/ Faye: C'mere, you. If you're gonna go and chop your hair off it might as well be even in the back.
/ Hannelore: Wait, are those scissors sterilized? Did you wash your hands? Did you use antibacterial soap? Have you touched anything since you washed them?
/ Faye: See this look? This is my "sit down and shut up" look. / [[Hannelore sitting on the couch, Faye trimming her uneven hair]]
/ Faye: So, traditional barber small-talk time: do your folks live around here?
/ Hannelore: Oh, hahah, no way. They can't stand each other, there's no way they'd live in the same town. They're both massively wealthy, so mom has estates all over the world and daddy spends most of his time on the space station. / Faye: Space station? So he's an astronaut?
/ Hannelore: No, he just has his own space station. That's actually where I grew up. I came down here because super-intelligent orbital defense satelites are good for casual conversation but can't provide much in the way of useful therapy. / [[Pintsize has taken glue and glued the trimmed parts of Hannelore's hair to his face like a mane]]
/ Faye: So you're not only crazy as hell and richer than the average Saudi prince, you're from friggin' space?
/ Hannelore: Yep! I'd say "explains a lot, doesn't it" only it doesn't really explain very much.
/ Pintsize: I'm the king of the beasts! Rrroarrrr! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=665# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Marten: Spontaneous metal interlude!
/ Dora: Woo!
/ Faye: What?
/ Pintsize Stage dive! / Dora: ALL HAIL OUR DARK LORD AND MASTER!
/ Faye: DRIPPING FLESHY BLOODGORE FESTERS IN YOUR GAPING WOUNDS! DEMONS 'N STUFF! GRAAAAAR! / Hannelore: LUDICROUSLY COMPLICATED ATONAL GUITAR RIFF!
/ Amir: CONVOLUTED DETUNED BASS LINE!
/ Natasha: KEYBOARD SQUEAKS AND SQUAWKS!
/ Winslow: Math-metal is delicious! / Marten: Whew. I dunno what brought THAT on, but it sure was fun.
/ Dora: Is it okay if I wear that makeup and corset on our next date?
/ Pintsize: Guess what I was playing the middle bass drum with!
/ Faye: No. http://questionablecontent.net//view.php?comic=666 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Marten, Dora and Faye are sitting on Marten's couch. Pintsize is lunging off an arm of the couch towards the fourth wall, damage on his mind]]
/ Marten: Spontaneous metal interlude!
/ Dora: Woo!
/ Faye: What?
/ Pintsize: Stage dive! / [[Dora is wearing face-paint and a corset, and is throwing up the horns. Steve and Marten are back-to-back, brandishing their axes with abandon. Faye grips her mic intensely. Pintsize plays three large bass drums and a couple sets of cymbals.]]
/ Dora: ALL HAIL OUR DARK LORD AND MASTER!
/ Faye: DRIPPING FLESHY BLOODGORE FESTERS IN YOUR GAPING WOUNDS! DEMONS 'N STUFF! GRAAAAAR! / [[Hannelore has a guitar, Amir his bass and Natasha her keyboard. They are in their practice space. A large piece of musical equipment sits in the background.]]
/ Hannelore: LUDICROUSLY COMPLICATED ATONAL GUITAR RIFF!
/ Amir: CONVOLUTED DETUNED BASS LINE!
/ Natasha: KEYBOARD SQUEAKS AND SQUAWKS!
/ Winslow: Math-metal is delicious! / [[Marten, Dora, Faye and Pintsize are back on the couch.]]
/ Marten: Whew. I dunno what brought that on, but it sure was fun.
/ Dora: Is it okay if I wear that makeup and corset on our next date?
/ Pintsize: Guess what I was playing the middle bass drum with!
/ Faye: No. /
/ {{July 17, 2006 10:36pm / SIX HUNDRED AND SIXTY SIX COMICS WOOOO! / Consider today's strip a break in QC's usual strict continuity. I simply couldn't let such a once-in-a-comic's-lifetime opportunity pass me by. Can you tell I had fun drawing this one? 'Cause I did! / QC won another WCCA for "Outstanding Romantic Comic"! Thanks a ton to the nice folks who voted for me, I truly appreciate it. / That's all for now. Got more comics to draw! Join me again tomorrow for a return to your regularly scheduled QC. Until next Monday, anyway, when my Guest Week Doomstravaganza begins.}} http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=666 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Martin: Spontaneous Metal interlude!
/ Dora: Woo!
/ Faye: What?
/ Pintsize: Stage dive! / Dora: ALL HAIL OUR DARK LORD AND MASTER!
/ Faye: DRIPPING FLESHYBLOODGORE FESTERS IN YOUR GAPING WOUNDS! DEMONS 'N STUFF! GRAAAAAR! / Hannelore: LUDICROUSLY COMPLICATED ATONAL GUITAR RIFF!
/ Amir: CONVOLUTED DETUNED BASS LINE!
/ Natasha: KEYBOARD SQUEAKS AND SQUAWKS!
/ Winslow: Math-metal is delicious / Martin: Whew. I dunno what brought THAT on, but it sure was fun.
/ Dora: Is it okay if I wear that makeup and corset on our next date?
/ Pintsize: Guess what I was playing the middle bass drum with!
/ Faye: No. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=666# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Number 667: Axe Body Spray / PANEL 1:
/ Faye: Marty! How was band practice?
/ Marten: Full of unicorns, oddly enough.
/ Faye: Is that some kind of slang? Are you trying to be hipper than me?
/ Pintsize: Nobody could ever be hipper than you / PANEL 2:
/ Marten: Whoa, nice haircut, Hannelore.
/ Hannelore: Really? You like it?
/ Faye: You had better be referring to my social aptitude and not my childbearing figure.
/ Pintsize: Social aptitude! Social aptitude!
/ [[Faye is lifting Pintsize by the head]] / PANEL 3:
/ Faye: Blush any harder and you'll give us all sunburns, honey.
/ Hannelore: I er uh um
/ [[Hannelore is blushing]]
/ Marten: Anyway, wanna go out drinkin' with Nat and Amir and I? They're waiting in the hall. / PANEL4:
/ Faye: Why are they waiting in the hall?
/ Marten: After two hours in a cramped, sweaty practice space, let's just say that Natasha smells.... earthy.
/ Pintsize: Quick! Hide me before the stench melts my chassis!
/ Hannelore: Oh god, I can see the fumes wafting under the door! http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=667 |
| Number 667: Axe Body Spray | Faye: Marty! How was band practice?
/ Marten: Full of unicorns, oddly enough.
/ Faye: Is that some new kind of slang? Are you trying to be hipper than me?
/ Pintsize: Nobody could ever be hipper than you, Faye. / Faye: You had better be referring to my social aptitude and not my childbearing figure.
/ Pintsize: Social aptitude! Social aptitude!
/ Marten: Whoa, nice haircut, Hannelore.
/ Hannelore: Really? You like it? / Faye: Blush any harder and you'll give us all sunburns, honey.
/ Hannelore: I er uh um
/ Marten: Anyway, wanna go out drinkin' with Nat and Amir and I? They're waiting in the hall. / Faye: Why are they waiting in the hall?
/ Marten: After two hours in a cramped, sweaty practice space, let's just say that Natasha smells...earthy.
/ Hannelore: Oh god, I can see the fumes wafting under the door!
/ Pintsize: Quick! Hide me before her stench melts my chassis! http://questionablecontent.net//view.php?comic=667 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Faye and PintSize sit on the couch as Marten enters the apartment]]
/ Faye: Marty! How was band practice?
/ Marten: Full of unicorns, oddly enough.
/ Faye: Is that some new kind of slang? Are you trying to be hipper than me?
/ Pintsize: Nobody could ever be hipper than you, Faye. / [[Hannelore enters the frame and Faye has a menacing look on her face and a grip on Pintsize's head]]
/ Faye: You had better be referring to my social aptitude and not my childbearing figure.
/ Pintsize: Social aptitude!
/ Pinstize: Social aptitude!
/ Marten: Whoa, nice haircut, Hannelore.
/ Hannelore: Really? You like it? / [[Hannelore begins to blush very intensely]]
/ Faye: Blush any harder and you'll give us all sunburns, honey.
/ Hannelore: I er uh um
/ Marten: Anyway, wanna go out drinkin' with Nat and Amir and I? They're waiting in the hall. / [[All four characters have and opened-mouth look, but Pintsize and Hannelore seem especially distrubed]]
/ Faye: Why are they waiting in the hall?
/ Marten: After two hours in a cramped, sweaty practice space, let's just say that Natasha smells.... earthy.
/ Hannelore: Oh god, I can see the fumes wafting under the door!
/ Pintsize: Quick! Hide me before her stench melts my chassis! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=667 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Marten and Faye's apartment, Faye, Pintsize and Hannelore on the couch, Marten walking in]]
/ Faye: Marty! How was band practice?
/ Marten: Full of unicorns, oddly enough.
/ Faye: Is that some new kind of slang? Are you trying to be hipper than me?
/ Pintsize: Nobody could be hipper than you, Faye. / Marten: Whoa, nice haircut, Hannelore.
/ Hannelore: Really? You like it?
/ Faye (grabbing pinsize by the head): You had better be referring to my social aptitude and not my
/ childbearing figure.
/ Pintsize: Social aptitude! Social aptitude! / Faye: Blush any harder and you'll give us all sunburns, honey.
/ Hannelore: I er uh um
/ Marten: Anyway, wanna go out drinkin' with Nat and Amir and I? They're waiting in the hall. / Faye: Why are they waiting in the hall?
/ Marten: After two hours in a cramped, sweaty practice space, let's just say that Natasha smells.... earthy.
/ Pintsize: Quick! Hide me before her stench melts my chassis!
/ Hannelore: Oh god, I can see the fumes wafting under the door! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=667# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Winslow: Hi Pintsize, what's up?
/ Pintsize: Oh, same old same old. Our owners are out having fun without us again. / Winslow: We should be able to go out and have fun with them!
/ Pintsize: Seriously. I may have a history of causing massive property damage, but that shouldn't mean I can't go out to a bar! / Winslow: We should organize. I mean, there are millions of us out there. If all us AnthroPCs banded together and mobilized, we could do whatever we want! We could form our own political party! Equal Rights For Robots!
/ Pintsize: What, and have RESPONSIBILITY? / Winslow: Oh. Yeah, nevermind.
/ Pintsize: Right then! Let's go set something on fire! http://questionablecontent.net//view.php?comic=668 |
| Wait Why Does He Have A Beer? | Winslow: Hi Pintsize, what's up?
/ Pintsize: Oh, same old same old. Our owners are out having fun without us again. / Winslow: We should be able to go out and have fun with them!
/ Pintsize: Seriously. I may have a history of causing massive property damage, but that shouldn't mean I can't go out to a bar! / Winslow: We should organize. I mean, there are millions of us out there. If all us AnthroPCs banded together and mobilized, we could do whatever we want! We could form our own political party! Equal Rights for Robots!
/ Pintsize: What, and have RESPONSIBILITY? / Winslow: Oh. Yeah, nevermind.
/ Pintsize: Right then! Let's go set something on fire! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=668 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Winslow: Hi Pintsize, what's up?
/ Pintsize: Oh, same old same old. Our owners are out having fun without us again. / Winslow: We should be able to go out and have fun with them!
/ Pintsize: Seriously. I may have a history of causing massiver property damage, but that shouldn't mean I can't go out to a bar! / Winslow: We should organize. I mean, there are millions of us out there. If all us AnthroPCs banded together and mobilized, we could do whatever we want! We could form our own political party! Equal Rights For Robots!
/ Pintsize: What, and have RESPONSIBILTY? / Winslow: Oh. Yeah, nevermind.
/ Pintsize: Right then! Let's go set something on fire! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=668# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Natasha: Wait, if you've got such bad OCD, how come you smoke and have like ten ear piercings?
/ Hannelore: A girl has to have SOME glaring contradictions in her life.
/ Amir: I have never seen a chick down a double of Jim Beam that quickly before.
/ Faye: The first one goes down quickly so the others can take their time. / Marten: Whew, okay. No crazy chicks in sight and I'm sober enough to tell the difference between a urinal and a sink. I'm in the clear. / Sven: Marten! You gotta help me!
/ Marten: Gah! NEVER startle a man when he's doin' his bathroom thing! Sudden urethral shutoff is extremely unpleasant and may lead to spattering! / Sven: One of my psychotic exes has been following me around all day. You have to distract her so I can escape!
/ Marten: What's in it for me?
/ Sven: The eternal gratitude and approbation of your girlfriend's older brother?
/ Marten: Got any nickels instead? Those are more useful. http://questionablecontent.net//view.php?comic=669 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Title text: Number 669: Once Again, A Bathroom Conversation}} / [[At an Irish pub, at the bar]]
/ Natasha: Wait, if you've got such bad OCD, how come you smoke and have like ten ear piercings?
/ Hannelore: A girl has to have SOME glaring contradictions in her life.
/ {{unrelated conversation}}
/ Amir: I have never seen a chick down a double of JIm Beam that quickly before.
/ Faye: The first one goes down quickly so the others can take their time. / [[in a public bathroom, stall dividers are visible]]
/ Marten: Whew, okay. No crazy chicks in sight and I'm sober enough to tell the difference between a urinal and a sink. I'm in the clear. / [[same bathroom, in front of the urinals. Marten is facing one as if he was urinating.]]
/ Sven: Marten! You gotta help me!
/ Marten: Gah! NEVER startle a man when he's doin' his bathroom thing! Sudden urethral shutoff is extremely unpleasant and my lead to spattering! / [[Marten is now done, and his arms are crossed]]
/ Sven: One of my psychotic exes has been following me around all day. You have to distract her so I can escape!
/ Marten: What's in it for me?
/ Sven: The eternal gratitude and approbation of your girlfriend's older brother?
/ Marten: Got any nickels instead? Those are more useful. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=669 |
| Number 669: Once Again, A Bathroom Conversation | Natasha: Wait, if you've got such bad OCD, hwo come you smoke and have like ten ear piercings?
/ Hannelore: A girl has to have SOME glaring contradictions in her life.
/ Amir: I have never seen a chick down a double of Jim Beam that quickly before.
/ Faye: The first one goes down quickly so the others can take their time. / Marten: Whew, okay. No crazy chicks in sight and I'm sober enough to tell the difference between a urinal and a sink. I'm in the clear. / Sven: Marten! You gotta help me!
/ Marten: Gah! NEVER startle a man when he's doin' his bathroom thing! Sudden urethral shutoff is extremely unpleasant and may lead to spattering! / Sven: One of my psychotic exes has been following me around all day. You have to distract her so I can escape!
/ Marten: What's in it for me?
/ Sven: The eternal gratitude and approbation of your girlfriend's older brother?
/ Marten: Got any nickels instead? Those are more useful. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=669# |
| Questionable Content Guest Strip by Chris Hastings and Kent Archer | [[The strip is entirely in black and white. Faye picks up a CD case.]]
/ Faye: Aw, this used to be my favorite CD. I haven't listened to it since I was 19! / A typed note inside of the case reads: Dear Faye, I'm truly sorry for what I'm about to do to you, your mother and your sister. when you read this, I'll be gone. i think you know that we have had a truly special bond, and I feel an obligation to tell you why I'm doing this. I'm too... / [[Faye drops the CD and falls to her knees. Poster on wall: Independent Rock and Roll Musical Group.]]
/ Faye: Oh my God. / Note continues: ashamed to tell anyone else. God, how do I explain? Everyone finds different reasons to live. Some bury themselves in work. Some find their calling in public service. Some might find their peace in some kind of artistic expression, and others are simply happy to have a loving spouse and family. For all your life, I've been among the latter.
/ But for the past few months, I've been consumed by addiction. Despite my best efforts to quit, I can't. It's all I think about. Frankly, the craving is making it hard to concentrate even now as I write this. I need to stop before it destroys our family, and there's no way I can quit.
/ Just thinking about trying to give up that light tender crust, that real fruit filling... Faye, I need those Hostess Fruit Pies now like I need air to breathe.
/ I can't stop eating them, so I must take my own life.
/ Please forgive me,
/ Dad / Faye: Oh... Oh- Muh--Oh my God. No.. No this can't be true. / [[Pintsize pops up with a grin. Faye has a look of terror on her face.]]
/ Pintsize: Sure it can! Can you blame him? No one can resist the light tender crust and real fruit filling! / [[Pintsize is on the ground next to two Hostess fruit pies, one apple and one cherry.]]
/ Pintsize: My favorite flavor is apple! What's yours? Maybe blueberry or cherry? Why don't we go to the store and load up on them and it will make you feel closer to your dead father.
/ Note on pies: HOSTESS It's the big taste your pet robot will forge your loved ones suicide notes for! http://questionablecontent.net//view.php?comic=670 |
| Questionable Content: #670 | [[Faye sits with hand up looking at a cd cover]]
/ Faye: Aw, this used to be my favorite CD.
/ I haven't listened to it since I was 19! / [[CD case open, showing a letter inside]]
/ Dear Faye,
/ I'm truly sorry for what I'm about to do to you, your mother and your sister. When you read this, I'll be gone. I think you know that we have had a truly special bond, and I feel an obligation to tell you why I'm doing this I'm too / [[faye kneeling]]
/ faye: Oh my god. / [[letter]]
/ ashamed to tell anyone else. God, how do I explain?
/ Everyone finds different reasons to live. Somebury themselves in work. Some find their peace in some kind of artistic expression, and others are simply happy to have a loving spouse and family. For all your life, I've been among the latter.
/ But for the past few months, I've been consumed by addiction. despite my best efforts to quit, I can't. It's all I think about. Frankly, the craving is making
/ it hard to concentrate even now as I write this. I need to stop before it destroys our family, and there's no way i can quit. / just thinking about trying to give up that light tender crust, that real fruit filling... Faye, I need those Hostess Fruit Pies now like I need air to
/ breathe.
/ I can't stop eating them, so I must take my own life. / Please forgive me,
/ Dad / [[Faye crying]]
/ Oh... Oh- Muh--
/ Oh my god. No.. No this can't be true / [[pint-size pops up]]
/ pint-size: SURE IT CAN! CAN YOU BLAME HIM? NO ONE CAN RESIST THE LIGHT TENDER CRUST AND REAL FRUIT FILLING! / [[hostess sign apears]]
/ pint-size: MY FAVORITE FLAVOR IS APPLE! WHAT'S YOURS?
/ MAYBE BLUEBARRY OR CHARRY?
/ WHY DON'T WE GO TO THE STORE AND LOAD UP ON THEM AND IT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL CLOSER TO YOUR DEAD FATHER. / [[sign]]
/ HOSTESS
/ It's the big taste your pet robot will forge your loved ones suicide notes for! / {{By Chris Hastings and Kent Archer . drmcninja.com}} http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=670 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Faye: Aw, this used to be my favorite CD. I haven't listened to it since I was 19! / Letter: Dear Faye, I'm truly sorry for what I'm about to do to you, your mother and your sister. When ou read this, I'll be gone. I think you know that we have had a truly special bond, and I feel an obligation to tell you why I'm doing this. I'm too / Faye: Oh my god. / Letter: ashamed to tell anyone else. God, how do I explain? Everyone finds different reasons to live. Some bury themselves in work. Some find their calling in public service. Some might find their peace in some kind of artistic expression, and others are simply happy to have a loving spouse and family. For all your life, I've been among the latter. But for the past few months, I've been consumed by addiction. Despite my best efforts to quit, I can't. It's all I can think about. Frankly, the craving is making it hard to concentrate even now as I write this. I need to stop before it destroys our family, and there's no way I can quit. Just thinking about trying to give up that light tender crust, that real fruit filling... Faye, I need those Hostess Fruit Pies now like I need air to breathe. I can't stop eating them, so I must take my own life. Please forgive me, Dad / Faye: Oh... oh- muh- oh my god. No.. no this can't be true. / Pintsize: Sure it can! Can you blame him? No one can resist the light tender crust and real fuit filling! / Pintsize: My favorite flavor is apple! What's yours?
/ Pintsize: Maybe blueberry or cherry?
/ Pintsize: Why dont' we go to the store and load up on them and it will make you feel closer to your dead father.
/ Label: HOSTESS It's the big taste your pet robot will forge your loved ones suicide notes for! Fruit pie apple. Fruit pie cherry. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=670# |
| Questionable Content Guest Strip by Julie Keene | [[Dora is standing outside in the sunshine.]]
/ Title: Dora's Day Off!
/ Dora: Finally! / [[Dora is standing in front of a Starbucks Coffee. Sign on door: Try our new thing!]]
/ Dora, to herself: Well... since no one's around... maybe this would be a good chance to infiltrate the enemy. / [[Dora enters the Starbucks. The floors are black and white tile, the trash can and counters are green, and the wall decorations are red, yellow, and orange. A man is sitting in a red chair reading a newspaper.]] / [[Visibly frustrated, Dora gets in line behind five others.]]
/ Dora: Pfft. / [[Dora looks over her shoulder.]]
/ Dora: Wait a second... / [[The man in the red chair hides behind his newspaper. He has dark hair, a black t-shirt, and jeans.]] / [[Toffee nut flavoring, cardboard coffee cups, and steaming coffee mugs float in the air around a perplexed Dora.]]
/ Dora: No, that can't be Marten. The toffee nut and hipster fumes must be causing me to have hallucinations. / [[Marten dashes out the door, leaving Dora in line.]]
/ Marten: Holy shit! http://questionablecontent.net//view.php?comic=671 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | "Dora's Day Off!"
/ [[Dora celebrating as she walks down the street.]]
/ Dora: Finally! / [[Dora standing outside a Starbuck's, with a sign in the door that reads "Try Our New Thing!"]]
/ Dora: Well...since no one's around... Maybe this would be a good chance to infiltrate the enemy... / [[Dora looking grouchy as she takes in the interior of the Starbuck's.]] / [[Dora standing in line, looking even grouchier, arms crossed.]]
/ Dora: Pfft. / [[Dora looks over her shoulder, scowling.]]
/ Dora: Wait a second... / [[Someone sitting in an easy chair, focused reading a music newspaper, cup of coffee steaming on the table in front of him.]] / [[Dora, looking confused, in a swirl of coffee cups and syrup bottles.]]
/ Dora: No, that can't be Marten. The toffee nut and hipster fumes must be causing me to have hallucinations. / [[Marten, running out of the shop, paper clutched in his hand, looking terrified. Dora standing peacefully in line in the background.]]
/ Marten: Holy Shit! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=671 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Dora: FINALLY! / Dora: WELL...SINCE NO ONE'S AROUND... MAYBE THIS WOULD BE A GOOD CHANCE TO INFILTRATE THE ENEMY... / [[Dora walks into starbucks and look slightly annoyed]] / Dora: PFFT. / Dora: WAIT A SECOND... / [[Martin is sitting on a chair looking nervous and reading a newspaper]] / Dora: NO, THAT CAN'T BE MARTIN. THE TOFFEE NUT AND HIPSTER FUMES MUST BE CAUSING ME TO HAVE HALLUCINATIONS / Martin: HOLY SHIT! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=671# |
| Questionable Content Guest Strip by Jason Sigala | [[Raven and Dora are standing inside the coffee shop talking.]]
/ Dora: So, Raven, you never gave me a straight answer as to why the drastic attitude change. I mean, one month you're a gothy Wiccan, the next, you're a poppy airhead.
/ Raven: There was totally a reason for it! A human, fleshy reason too! You see, I.. i-I was think-think... thinking zzzt that... krrrt bzzz I n-needed vrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. / < http://questionablecontent.net//view.php?comic=672 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Dora: So, Raven, you never gave me a straight answer as to why the drastic attitude change. I mean, one month you're a gothy wiccan. The next, you're a poppy airhead.
/ Raven: There was totally a reason for it! A human, fleshy reason too! You see, I.. I-I was think-think...thinking ZZZT that...KRRRT BZZZ I n-needed VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR / < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=672 |
| Guest Strip by Jason Sigala | Dora: So, Raven, you never gave me a straight answer as to why the drastic attitude change. I mean, one month you're a gothy wiccan. The next, you're a poppy airhead.
/ Raven: There was totally a reason for it! A human, fleshy reason too! You see, I.. I-I was think-think...thinking zzzt that...krrrt bzzz I n-needed vrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr / < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=672# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Scene begins with focus on a box of condoms with Dora and Marten talking over to the right]]
/ Dora: Marten, I think it's time we make it "official."
/ Marten: Dora! I'm so happy! / [[Pintsize eyes the box of condoms and replaces it with a bag of...something of similar weight (AKA Indiana Jones, he even has the hat]] / [[Next Frame, Pintsize running for his life]]
/ Probably Marten: Pintsize!
/ Pintsize: Once again Dr. Jones, we see there is nothing you can possess which I cannot take away! / [[Pintsize and Winslow...presumably not in Marten's apartment anymore, discussing why Pintsize did what he did. Oh, and Winslow has a condom on his head, go figure.]]
/ Winslow: Impressive!
/ Pintsize: I'm on the Fayepal system. She pays me to take action if it looks like trouble. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=673 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Focal point is on a box of condoms on a dresser]]
/ Dora (off panel): Marten, I think it's time we make it "official."
/ Marten (off panel): Dora! I'm so happy! / [[Pintsize in an "Indiana Jones" hat with a bag of sand in one hand looks at the box of condoms]] / Marten (off panel): PINTSIZE!!
/ Pintsize: Once again Dr. Jones, we see there is nothing you can possess which I cannot take away! / Winslow: Impressive!
/ Pintsize: I'm on the Fayepal system. She pays me to take action if it looks like trouble. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=673# |
| Questionable Content Guest Strip by Ryan North and Liz Greenfield | [[A Tyrannosaurus Rex in a pink suit and sunglasses stands at a microphone.]]
/ Tyrannosaurus Rex: A lot of you want to know how Questionable Content ends. Do Faye and Marten get together? If so, how? Are there pictures?
/ Tyrannosaurus Rex: What is it like? What about Dora? Pintsize? This is why I am here today: to CUT TO THE CHASE.
/ Tyrannosaurus Rex: Here is the 100% canon ending to Questionable Content. I got it from Jeph himself. He told me-- / Title Frame: HOW QUESTIONABLE CONTENT ENDS FOR REALS 100% CANON GUARANTEED / [[A slightly gray-haired Marten, in a blue t-shirt that says WAHT, is holding hands with someone out of frame. All that is visible is a red arm with a yellow glove. The background scene is very futuristic, with floating cars and monorail tracks.]]
/ Header: THREE YEARS IN THE FUTURE
/ Marten: Wow, I'm so glad we got married, sweetie! / [[The red arm belongs to a very fleshy pizza girl.]]
/ Pizza Girl: So am I, Marten! Would you like some pizza?
/ [[Marten is out of frame now. All that is visible is his blue sleeve.]]
/ Marten: I'm good. / [[Faye and Dora are sitting on a bench in the park next to a robotic contraption. Faye's right arm is robotic.]]
/ Faye: Hey, Marten! / [[Pizza Girl is kneeling in the background over an open box of pizza.]]
/ Marten: Wow, Faye! I haven't seen you since Coffee of Dooom became Cybernetic Arms of Doom!
/ Faye: It has been a while, Marten.
/ Marten: Do you want to go deep sea diving? We were about to go deep sea diving. / [[Pizza Girl, Dora, Faye, and Marten are all underwater. Pizza Girl is in her standard uniform with an underwater helmut; the others are in full SCUBA gear. Pizza Girl continues to eat pizza, even underwater.]]
/ Marten: Faye, now that we're underwater, there's something I want to get off my chest. I am a huge fan of boy bands.
/ Marten: I have not said this before, and even though I may deny it in the future, or even in the past, I say now and forever that I love all boy bands. All of them. I can never take this back.
/ Faye: Okay! / [[Marten, Dora, and Faye are sitting at a table. Pizza Girl enters through a door in the back, still stuffing her face. Sign: Welcome to a Restaurant in the Future!]]
/ Dora: Can you guys believe that Steve got married to Jimbo?
/ Marten: There have been so many implausible marriages in the past few years! Pintsize married a robotic cake mix factory and they've had like seven kids! / [[The Tyrannosaurus Rex is standing in front of microphone, but it is broken and on fire.]]
/ Tyrannosaurus Rex: Later on, everybody kisses everybody else!
/ Footer: FIN http://questionablecontent.net//view.php?comic=674 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[T-Rex is on a stage in a spotlight being awesome, talking into a microphone]] / T-rex: A lot of you want to know how Questionable Content ends. Do Faye and Marten get together? If so how? Are there pictures? What is it like? What about Dora? Pintsize? This is why I am here today. to CUT TO THE CHASE. Here is the 100% canon ending to QuetionableContent. I got it from Jeph himself. He told me- / Title: How Questionable Content ends FOR REAL 100% canon guaranteed / {{Three years in the future}} / Marten: Wow, I'm so glad we got married, sweetie. / Pizza Girl: So am I Marten! Would you like some pizza? / Marten: I'm good. / Faye: {{with a robotic arm, sitting with Dora, whose limbs are all still 100% human}} Hey, Marten! / Marten: Wow, Faye! I haven't seen you since Coffee of Doom became Cybernetic Arms of Doom! Do you want to go deep sea diving? We were about to go deep sea diving. / Faye: It has been a while, Marten. / [[So they go deep sea diving. They're all underwater, even pizza girl, who is STILL PUSHING PIZZA INTO HER FACE. Clearly nobody ever told her to wait an hour after eating before going swimming.]] / Marten: Faye, now that we're underwater, There's something I want to get off my chest. I am a huge fan of boybands. I may not have said this before and even though I may deny it in the future or even in the past, I say now and forever that I love boybands. All of them. I can never take this back. / Faye: Okay! / [[Later, in a bar...]] / Dora: Can you guys believe that Steve got married to Jimbo? / Marten: There have been so many implausible marriages over the past few years. Pintsize married a robotic cake factory and they've had, like, seven kids! / T-Rex: Later on, everybody kisses everybody else! / [[fin]] http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=674 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Guest comic by Liz G. of StuffSucks.com and Ryan North of Qwantz.com:
/ How Questionable Content Ends
/ For Reals
/ 100% Guaranteed}} / [[ stage, spotlight, Tyrannosaurus Rex in a suit ]]
/ Tyrannosaurus Rex: A lot of you want to know how Questionable Content ends. Do Faye and Marten get together? If so, how? Are there Pictures?
/ Tyrannosaurus Rex: What is it like? What about Dora? Pintsize? This is why I am here today: to CUT TO THE CHASE.
/ Tyrannosaurus Rex: Here is the 100% canon ending to Questionable Content. I got it from Jeph himself. He told me– / Three Years in the Future
/ [[ outside, street ]]
/ Marten: Wow, I'm so glad we got married, sweetie! / Pizza Girl: So am I, Marten! Would you like some pizza?
/ Marten: I'm good. / Cyborg Faye: Hey, Marten! / Marten: Wow, Faye! I haven't seen you since Coffee of Doom became Cybernetic Arms of Doom!
/ Cyborg Faye: It has been a while, Marten.
/ Marten: Do you want to go deep sea diving? We were about to go deep sea diving. / [[ underwater ]]
/ Marten: Faye, now that we're underwater, there's something I want to get off my chest. I am a huge fan of boy bands. I have not said this before, and even though I may deny it in the future, or even in the past, I say now and forever that I love all boy bands. All of them. I can never take that back.
/ Cyborg Faye: Okay! / [[ at the coffeeshop ]]
/ Dora: Can you guys believe that Steve got married to Jimbo?
/ Marten: There have been so many implausible marriages in the past few years! Pintsize married a robotic cake mix factory and they've had like seven kids! / [[ stage, spotlight, campfire ]]
/ Tyrannosaurus Rex: Later on, everybody kisses everybody else! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=674# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Marten and Pintsize are sitting on the couch. Pintsize is playing video games very intensely, hence the clicks.]] / Marten: Gah, I must have slept all funny last night, because my neck is killing me. / < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=675 |
| Number 679: Where everybody knows your name | News Post:
/ August 2, 2006 9:56pm / Greetings from sweltering Maryland, USA! Cristi and I are crashin' at my folks' place tonight and plan to head up to Baltimore tomorrow in preparation for Otakon. It should be a good time I think! If we have a power hookup and/or room at the table, I might do another drawing demonstration like I did at Comic-Con- people seemed to enjoy it there. We shall see! / Anyway, enjoy the comic, see you tomorrow, etc. etc. There should be a regular ol' QC strip for Friday, but depending on how much work I can get done this weekend I may run another guest comic on Monday, courtesy of the inimitable Lem Lemmington. / Title: Number 679: Where everybody knows your name
/ (O'Surly's Irish pub) / Comic:
/ Panel 1:
/ Faye: I still dont see why you have to "play along" with Sven's stupid scheme to avoid this chick.
/ Martin: Well,I...I mean, it's-it's because.... / Panel 2:
/ Faye: It's Because you let yourself get pushed around too much, and you're afraid of confrontation.
/ Martin: Dammit, you're right. I shoulda stood up to Sven, this is a shitty thing to do to a lady. / Panel 3:
/ Martin: Hey, uh, Genevieve? You're here looking for Sven, right?
/ Genevieve(Sven's Ex): Hm? Yeah, I am.
/ Martin: He's Hiding in the bathroom. He got me to ry and distract you so he could sneak out. I'm really sorry. / Panel 4:
/ Martin: You...don't look very suprised.
/ Genevieve: I'm not. I saw him go in there. I've got the bastard cornered now, and i intend to make him squirm.
/ Faye: Good Lord, I feel like a housecat staring down a bengal tiger. / End comic
/ Copyright 2003-2006 J.Jacques http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=675# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Foreground: Blonde at the bar. Background: shitty bar videogame. Marten and Sven peering around the door]]
/ Sven: Aw crap, there she is! You gotta distract her so I can sneak out the back!
/ Marten: Ow! How the hell did they do this on Scooby-Doo without knocking each other over? / [[Sven and Marten in the men's room]]
/ Marten: How exactly am I supposed to "distract" her? Put on a leopard-print loincloth and do my best Ted Nugent impersonation on the bar?
/ Sven: No, no, she wouldn't know who Ted Nugent was if he personally cockslapped her.
/ Sven: Just...chat her up or something! Do that bashful indie-rock dork act you do, chicks eat that shit up. / Marten: Oh no, you've pierced the cynical facade that is my persona. Catastrophic identity crisis iminent. Brace for impact.
/ Sven: Seriously, brace for impact.
/ Marten: Huh?
/ [[Sven kicks Marten into the bar.]] / [[Marten lands at the blonde's feet]]
/ < http://questionablecontent.net//view.php?comic=676 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Marten and Sven are peeking out the bathroom door looking at Svens' ex who is sitting at the bar]]
/ Sven: Aw crap, there she is! you gotta distract her so I can sneak out the back!
/ Marten: Ow! How the hell did they do this on Scooby-Doo without knocking each other over? / [[Marten and Sven are both back in the bathroom]]
/ Marten: How exactly am I supposed to "distract" her? Put on a leopard-print loincloth and do my best Ted Nugent impersonation on the bar?
/ Sven: No no, she wouldn't know who Ted Nugent was if he personally cockslapped her.
/ Sven: Just...char her up or something! Do that bashful indie-rock dork act you do, chicks eat that shit up. / [[Marten is looking away and Sven has his foot raised to kick Marten out of the bathroom]]
/ Marten: Oh no, you've pierced the cynical facade that is my persona. Catastrophic identity crisis iminent. Brace for impact.
/ Sven: Seriously, brace for impact.
/ Marten: Huh? / [[Marten goes head first into the bar startling Sven's ex]]
/ < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=676 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[ O'Surly's Pub ]]
/ Sven: Aw crap, there she is! You gotta distract her so I can sneak out the back!
/ Marten: Ow! How the hell did the do this on Scooby-Doo without knocking each other over? / Marten: How exactly am I supposed to "distract" her? Put on a leopard-print loincloth and do my best Ted Nugent impersonation on the bar?
/ Sven: No no, she wouldn't know who Ted Nugent was if he personally cockslapped her. Just... chat her up or something! Do that bashful indie-rock dork act you do, chicks eat that shit up. / Marten: Oh no, you've pierced the cynical façade that is my persona. Catastrophic identity crisis imminent. Brace for impact.
/ Sven: Seriously, brace for impact.
/ Marten: Huh? / [[ Marten goes flying across the pub, landing headfirst into the bar at the Genevieve's feet. ]] / Genevieve: Are you okay?
/ Marten: Yeah, I just... tripped over my gigantic wang. Happens all the time. Damn thing's like a malicious ball python.
/ Genevieve: But... your pants are zipped up.
/ Marten: I know. It coils around my ankle if I don't pay attention. Very malicious. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=676# |
| Questionable Content Number 677: Rico Suave | [[Marten is sitting at the bar next to a cute blonde.]]
/ Marten: So, uh, you come here often?
/ Blonde: Huh? No.
/ Marten: Oh, uh me neither. / Marten: Hey, uh, can I buy you a drink or something?
/ Blonde: I already have a... wait, are you HITTING on me?
/ Marten: I, uh, I mean... / Blonde: You're really not very good at this, are you.
/ Marten: Well, I... augh. Look, I'll be honest. I got put up to this by a friend of mine.
/ Blonde: Aww, haha. Is it the girl in the glasses over there? She's been staring at you ever since you came out of the bathroom. / Blonde: Although actually, she looks kinda angry.
/ Marten: Oh, that's just her default expression.
/ Blonde: She just made a throat-slitting motion with her hand!
/ Marten: Yep, just her default expression. http://questionablecontent.net//view.php?comic=677 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Marten: So, uh, you come here often?
/ Girl at bar: Huh? No.
/ Marten: Oh, uh me neither. / Marten: Hey, uh can I buy you a drink or something?
/ Girl at bar: I already have a...wait, are you HITTING on me?
/ Marten: I, uh, I mean... / Girl at bar: You're really not very good at this, are you.
/ Marten: Well, I...augh. Look, I'll be honest. I got put up to this by a friend of mine.
/ Girl at bar: Aww, haha. Is it the girl in the glases over there? She's been staring at you ever since you came out of the bathroom. / Girl at bar: Although actually, she looks kinda angry.
/ Marten: Oh, that's just her default expression.
/ Girl at bar: She just made a throat-slitting motion with her hand!
/ Marten: Yep, just her default expression. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=677 |
| Rico Suave | {{Title : Rico Suave}}
/ {{Number : 677}} / [[maten is talking to a girl]]
/ Marteen: So, uh, you come here often?
/ Girl: Huh? No.
/ Marten: Oh, uh Me neither. / Marten: Hey, uh, can i buy you a drink or something?
/ Girl: I already have a... wait, are you HITTING on me?
/ Marten: I, uh, I mean... / Girl: You're really not very good at this, are you?
/ Maten: Well, i... augh. look, I'll bbe honest. I got put up to this by a friend of mine.
/ Girl: Aww, haha. Is it the girl with the glasses over there? She's been staring at you ever since you came out of the bathroom. / Girl: Although actually, she looks kinda angry.
/ Marten: Oh, that's just her default expresion.
/ Girl: She just made a throat-slitting Motion with her hand!
/ Marten: Yep, just her default expression. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=677# |
| Number 678: What Would Elvis Costello Do? | Faye: Well well, look who's made a new pal.
/ Marten: Faye! Uh, hi! This is... uh, this is -
/ Genevieve: Genevieve.
/ Marten: Genevieve! Genevieve, this is my friend Faye. / Faye: Pleasure to meet you. Has Marty here told you about his girl-
/ Marten: PROBLEMS! My girl problems, yeah, I was just about to get into that. Genevieve, will you excuse us for a moment? I have to go, uh, settle Faye's bill.
/ Genevieve: Sure... / Faye: Are you BRAIN DAMAGED? Why the balls are you hitting on this chick?!
/ Marten: You saw Sven come in earlier, right? This chick's one of his exes, and he needs me to keep her distracted so he can sneak out.
/ Faye: How chivalrous of him.
/ Marten: Yeah I know it's shitty, but I have to play along until he gets out of here. / Faye: Says who? Let's just drag him out of the bathroom and enjoy the ensuing fireworks.
/ Marten: "light fuse and get away" may work for a Roman candle, but not so much for the wrath of a woman scorned. http://questionablecontent.net//view.php?comic=678 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Faye: Well well, look who's made a new pal.
/ Marten: Faye! uh, hi! This is...uh, this is-
/ Genevieve: Genevieve.
/ Marten: Genevieve! Genevieve, this is my friend Faye. / Faye: Pleasure to meet you. Has Marty here told you about his girl-
/ Marten: PROBLEMS! My girl problems, yeah, I was just about to get into that. Genevieve, will you excuse us for a moment? I have to go, uh, settle Faye's bill.
/ Genevieve: Sure... / Faye: Are you BRAIN DAMAGED? Why the balls are you hitting on this chick?!
/ Marten: You saw Sven come in earlier, right? This chick's one of his exes, and he needs me to keep her distracted so he can sneak out.
/ Faye: How chivalrous of him.
/ Marten: Yeah I know it's shitty, but I have to play along until he gets out of here. / Faye: Says who? Let's just drag him out of the bathroom and enjoy the ensuing fireworks.
/ Marten: "Light fuse and get away" may work for a Roman candle, but not so much for the wrath of a woman scorned. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=678 |
| Questionable Content Number 678: What Would Elvis Costello Do? | [Faye, Marten, and Unknown Girl in bar]
/ Faye: Well well, look who's made a new pal.
/ Marten: Faye! uh, hi! This is...uh, this is-
/ Unknown Girl: Genevieve
/ Marten: Genevieve! Genevieve, this is my friend Faye. / Faye: Pleasure to meet you. Has Marty here told you about his girl-
/ Marten: PROBLEMS! My girl problems, yeah, I was just about to get into that. Genevieve, will you excuse us for a moment? I have to go, uh, settle Faye's bill.
/ Genevieve: Sure.. / [Marten and Faye walk away from Genevieve]
/ Faye: Are you BRAIN DAMAGED? Why the balls are you hitting on this chick?!
/ Marten: You saw Sven come in earlier, right? This chick's one of his exes, and he needs me to keep her distracted so he can sneak out.
/ Faye: How chivalrous of him.
/ Marten: Yea I know it's shtity, but I have to play along until he gets out of here. / Faye: Says who? Let's just drag him out of the bathroom and enjoy the ensuing fireworks.
/ Marten: "Light fuse and get away" may work for a Roman candle, but not so much for the wrath of a woman scorned. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=678# |
| Where Everybody Knows Your Name | Faye: I still don't see why you have to "play along" with Sven's stupid scheme to avoid this chick.
/ Martin: Well, I... I mean, it's- it's because... / Faye: It's because you let yourself get pushed around too much, and you're afraid of confrontation.
/ Martin: Dammit, you're right. I shoulda stood up to Sven, this is a shitty thing to do to a lady. / Martin: Hey, uh, Genevieve? You're here looking for Sven, right?
/ Genevieve: Hm? Yeah, I am.
/ Martin: He's hiding in the bathroom. He got me to try and distract you so he could sneak out. I'm really sorry. / Martin: You... don't look very surprised.
/ Genevieve: I'm not. I saw him go in there. I've got that bastard cornered now, and I intend to make him squirm.
/ Faye: Good Lord, I feel like a housecat staring down a Bengal tiger. http://questionablecontent.net//view.php?comic=679 |
| Questionable Content Number 670: Where Everybody Knows Your Name | [Faye and Marten sitting in O'surry's Irish Pub]
/ Faye: I still don't see why you have to "play along" with Sven's stupid scheme to avoid this chick.
/ Marten: Well, I...I mean, it's-it's because... / [Camera angle shifts to show more of the bar]
/ Faye: It's because you let yourself get pushed around too much, and you're afraid of confrontation.
/ Marten: Dammit, you're right. I shoulda stood up to Sven, this is a shitty thing to do to a lady. / [Camera shifts again, now showing Faye, Marten, and Genevieve]
/ Marten: Hey, uh Genevieve? You're here looking for Sven, Right?
/ Genevieve: Hm? Yeah, I am.
/ Marten: He's hiding in the bathroom. He got me to try and distract you so he could sneak out. I'm really sorry. / Marten: You...don't look very surprised.
/ Genevieve: I'm not. I saw him go in there. I've got that bastard cornered now and I intend to make him squirm.
/ Faye: Good Lord, I feel like a housecat staring down a Bengal Tiger http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=679 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Faye: I still don't see why you have to "play along" with Sven's stupid scheme to avoid this chick.
/ Marten: Well, I...I mean, it's-it's because... / Faye: It's because you let yourself get pushed around too much, and you're afraid of confrontation
/ Marten: Dammit, you're right. I shoulda stood up to Sven, this is a shitty thing to do to a lady. / Marten: Hey, uh, Genevieve? You're here looking for Sven, right?
/ Genevieve: Hm? Yeah, I am.
/ Marten: He's hiding in the bathroom. He got me to try and distract you so he could sneak out. I'm really sorry. / Marten: You...don't look surprised.
/ Genevieve: I'm not. I saw him go in there. I've got that bastard cornered now, and I intend to make him squirm.
/ Faye: Good Lord, I feel like a housecat staring down a Bengal tiger. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=679# |
| Comeuppance | Genevieve: ...So it turns out that the "wrong number" was actually some OTHER girl he was seeing at the same time.
/ Marten: Oooh, ouch. I can see why you might feel entitled to some revenge squirmin'. / Genevieve: Uh, you know what? It's not even worth it. I'm being just as petty as Sven is. He's a dick, I'm gonna let it go.
/ Marten: Two minutes ago you were talking about stringing him up by his man-supplies and letting the ravens pick him clean. / Genevieve: Heh, yeah. I guess I'm not entirely undeserving of the "psycho ex" title. Anyway, I'm gonna go. Tell Sven he can come out of the bathroom once I'm gone.
/ Marten: Haha, okay. I'll go- hey, where's Faye? / Sven: Rgh... friggin' Marten, friggin' ex-girlfriends, friggin' no back DOOR...
/ Faye: Sounds like someone's had a bad night.
/ Sven: Lady, you don't know the half of it.
/ Faye: Betcha I do. http://questionablecontent.net//view.php?comic=680 |
| Questionable Content Number 680: Comeuppance | [Marten and Genevieve sitting in the bar talking]
/ Genevieve: ...So it turns out that the "wrong number" was actually some OTHER girl he was seeing at the same time.
/ Marten: Oooh, ouch, I can see why you might feel entitled to some revenge squirmin' / Genevieve: Ugh, you know what? It's not even worth it. I'm being just as petty as Sven is. He's a dick, I'm gonna let it go.
/ Marten: Two minutes ago you were talking about stringing him up by his man-supplies and letting the ravens pick him clean. / Genevieve: Heh, yeah. I guess I'm not entirely undesrving of the "pyscho ex" title. Anyway, I'm gonna go. Tell Sven he can come out of the bathroom once I'm gone.
/ Marten: Haha, okay. I'll go- hey, where's Faye? / [Alley; Faye watching Sven climb out of bathroom window onto trash can.]
/ Sven: Rgh..friggin' Marten, friggin' ex-girlfriends, friggin' no back DOOR...
/ Faye: Sounds like someone's had a bad night.
/ Sven: Lady, you don't know the half of it.
/ Faye: Betcha I do. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=680 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Number 680: Comeuppance / Genevieve: ...So it turns out that the "wrong number" was actually some OTHER girl he was seeing at the same time.
/ Marten: Oooh, ouch. I can see why you might feel entitled to some revenge squirmin'. / Genevieve: ...Ugh, you know what? It's not even worth it. I'm being just as petty as Sven is. He's a dick, I'm gonna let it go.
/ Marten: Two minutes ago you were talking about stringing him up by his man-supplies and letting the ravens pick him clean. / Genevieve: Heh, yeah. I guess I'm not entirely undeserving of the "psycho ex" title. Anyway, I"m gonna go. Tell Sven he can come out of the bathroom once I'm gone.
/ Marten: Haha, okay. I'll go- hey, where's Faye? / [[Sven is climbing out a window onto a trashcan, his head is still inside. Faye is standing behind him]]
/ Sven: Rgh...friggin' Marten, friggin' ex-girlfriends, friggin' no back DOOR...
/ Faye: Sounds like someone's had a bad night.
/ Sven: Lady, you don't know the half of it.
/ Faye: Betcha I do. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=680# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Today we ask...
/ If...
/ Pintsize
/ ...ran the Coffee House of Doom...
/ ...what would result? / I. Get rich quick schemes.
/ All ladies must be in their underwear and sign this NDA! / II. Electrical harrassment suits.
/ Hey hot stuff, wanna come and explore the stock cupboard with me? / III. Unusual and Dangerous Clientel.
/ Please bring all your friends! Then we can destroy humans while consuming my delicious coffee/oil mixture! / IV. Ultimately, economic destruction.
/ HORRAY! FREE BEANS FOR ALL! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=681 |
| QC | {{Title text: QC "What If?" Theatre Presents...}} / Narrator: Today we ask...If...Pintsize...ran the Coffee House of Doom...what would result? / [[Pintsize, on a movie set, holds a waiver]]
/ Narrator: I. Get rich quick schemes.
/ Pintsize: All ladies must be in their underwear and sign this NDA! / [[Pintsize peers over coffee maker]]
/ Narrator: II. Electrical harassment suits.
/ Pintsize: Hey hot stuff, wanna come explore the stock cupboard with me? / [[Pintsize stands near an enormous red robot]]
/ Narrator: III. Unusual and Dangerous Clientel.
/ Pintsize: Please bring all your friends! Then we can destroy humans while consuming my delicious coffee/oil mixture. / [[Pintsize emerges from a pile of coffee beans]]
/ Narrator: IV. Ultimately, economic destruction.
/ Pintsize: Hooray! Free beans for all! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=681# |
| Questionable Content 682: Making matters worse | [Faye and Sven in an alley] / Sven:Oh, Faye! What brings you to this....alley...tonight?
/ Faye: I think you know why I'm back here. You might escape your "psycho ex" but you're sure as hell not evading me. / Faye: What you did tonight was SHITTY. So you don't have the balls to face up to some girl who most likely has legitimate reason to be pissed at you. Fine, whatever. But dragging MARTEN into it? Kicking him out the door into some mess YOU created? That's despicable. You're selfish, you're a coward, you're an asshole, and you're too self-centered to even realize it. / Faye:.....What, is that it? You aren't even going to TRY to defend yourself? / Sven: This is typically the point where my good looks and deep, soulful eyes compel the lady to kiss me. But.. it doesn't seem to be happening with you. Odd.
/ Faye: I swear to god they will find your body in not one dumpster but SEVERAL. Each six blocks apart. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=682 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Sven: Oh, Faye! What brings you to this...alley...tonight?
/ Faye: I think you know why I'm here. You might escape you're "psycho ex" but you're sure as hell not evading me. / Faye: What you did tonight was SHITTY. So you don't have the balls to face up to some girl who most likely has legitimate reasons to be pissed at you. Fine, whatever. But dragging MARTEN into it? Kicking him out the door into some mess YOU created? That's despicable. You're selfish, you're a coward, you're an asshole, and you're too self-centered to even realize it. / Faye: What, is that it? You aren't even going to TRY and defend yourself? / Sven: This is typically the point where my good looks and deep, soulful eyes compel the lady to kiss me. But... it doesn't seem to be happening with you. Odd.
/ Faye: I swear to god they will find your body in not one dumpster but SEVERAL. Each six blocks apart. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=682# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Marten: Where were you, Faye?
/ Faye: Around hte back, having a little chat with our resident womanizer and escape artist. Did genevieve leave?
/ Marten: Uh Huh.
/ --------------------
/ Faye: Aw, and you didnt even get the chance to romance her with your inept indite-boy ways / Marten: I happen to be dating someone, thanks. Waht about you, did your verbal beatdown of Sven dissolve into sloppy makeouts?
/ ----------------------
/ Faye: Oh god, im going to vomit, then my vomit will vomit, and then that vomit will vomit vomiting vomit of its own. Well drown in a sea of recursive stomach juices / Marten: Methings the lady doth protest too much"
/ --------------------------------- / Faye:Dont push it buddy, Im like a bull whos already gored one matador and is looking for another. / Marten: So youre saying sven makes you horny? / Faye: is there a full moon tonight or something? there must be a reason every boy i know is acting RETARDED http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=683 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Marten: Where were you, Faye?
/ Faye: Around the back, having a little chat with our resident womanizer and escape artist. Did Genevieve leave?
/ Marten: Uh huh. / Faye: Aw, and you didn't even get the chance to romance her with your inept indie-boy ways.
/ Marten: I happen to be dating someone, thanks. What about you, did your verbal beatdown of Sven dissolve into sloppy makeouts? / Faye: Oh god. I'm going to vomit, then my vomit will vomit, and then THAT will vomit vomiting vomit of its own. We'll drown in a sea of recursive stomach juices.
/ Marten: Methinks the lady doth protest too much. / Faye: Don't push it buddy. I'm like a bull who's already gored one matador and is looking for another one
/ Marten: So you're saying Sven makes you horny?
/ Faye: Is there a full moon tonight or something? There must be a reason every boy I know is acting RETARDED. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=683# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Outside of the Bar, Sven is walking behind Genevieve]]
/ Sven: Hey, Genevieve! Wait up!
/ Genevieve: Sven? / Sven: Look, I....I acted like an asshole today.
/ Genevieve: Par for the course.
/ Sven: Yeah, I know. / Sven: Listen, for what it's worth, I'm sorry. I should've treated you better.
/ Genevieve: Is this some ploy to get one last sympathy fuck out of me?
/ Sven: What? No, I'm being serious here! I'm sorry for how I acted. / Sven: Although, I mean, if you WANT to bang one more time, we could go back to-
/ Genevieve: Aww, you were doing so well for awhile there and now I have to hurt you. You get an "A" for effort and a "B" for beatings.
/ [[Genevieve crackes her knuckles]]
/ <> http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=684 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Sven: Hey, Genevieve! Wait up!
/ Genevieve: Sven? / Sven: Look, I...I acted like an asshole today.
/ Genevieve: Par for the course.
/ Sven: Yeah, I know. / Sven: Listen, for what it's worth, I'm sorry. I should've treated you better.
/ Genevieve: Is this some ploy to get one last sympathy fuck out of me?
/ Sven: What? No, I'm being serious here! I'm sorry for how I acted. / Sven: Although, I mean, if you WANT to bang one more time, we could go back to-
/ Genevieve: Aww, you were doing so well for a while there and now I have to hurt you. You get an "A" for effort and a "B" for beatings. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=684# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | When did Amir and Nat leave, anyway?
/ They left when you cam etumbling outta the bathroom. I imagine they're humpin' like bunnies as we speak.
/ Thanks for the mental image.
/ I know, it's like the Black Plague - best shared with friends. / I return in triumph.
/ Holy shit Faye, I thought you said you just yelled at him!
/ I never laid a hand on him! This must be Genevieve's doing.
/ It wasn't her, either.
/ Then who... / I was walking home when some drunk hipster chick on a Vespa plowed straight into me.
/ The impact knocked me into the bushes where I was savaged by what were either three midget hobos or three large, angry raccoons.
/ So now I have a twisted ankle, probably a concussion, possibly RABIES, and I could really use a drink before I go to the hospital. / Sorry, last call was five minutes ago.
/ Goddamnit!
/ Damn, karma's a bitch.
/ But she has a helluva sense of humor. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=685 |
| Number 685: I Would Have Gone Back To The Bar Too | Marten: When did Amir and Nat leave, anyway?
/ Faye: They left when you came tumbling outta the bathroom. I imagine they're humpin' like bunnies as we speak.
/ Marten: Thanks for the mental image.
/ Faye: I know, it's like the Black Plague - best shared with friends. / Sven: [[Walks in covered in mud and scratches]] I return in triumph.
/ Marten: Holy shit Faye, I thought you said you just yelled at him!
/ Faye: I never laid a hand on him! This must be Genevieve's doing.
/ Sven: It wasn't her, either.
/ Faye: Then who... / Sven: I was walking home when some drunk hipster chick on a Vespa plowed straight into me.
/ The impact knocked me into the bushes where I was savaged by what were either three midget hobos or three large, angry raccoons.
/ So now I have a twisted ankle, probably a concussion, possibly RABIES, and I could really use a drink before I go to the hospital. / Bartender: Sorry, last call was five minutes ago.
/ Sven: Goddamnit!
/ Marten: Damn, karma's a bitch.
/ Faye: But she has a helluva sense of humor. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=685# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Number 686: The Nurse Who Loved Me
/ [[Sven, Marten and Faye walk through a hospital door. Sven's hair is messed up and his clothes tattered]]
/ Sven: You guys didn't have to come to the hospital with me.
/ Marten: Considering how your night's been going, I wanted to make sure you didn't get mauled by a dinosaur or something on your way here.
/ Faye: I might've just let the angry stegosaurus do his thing. / [[They sit down in a waiting room. A sign in the backgroud reads "We appreciate your patience. Please Try Not To Bleed to Death." Marten reads a magazine called Idiotic Conservative Weekly.]]
/ Sven: Yeah... you were right about what you said earlier tonight, Faye. I've been an asshole, and I'm sorry. Thanks for setting me straight.
/ Faye: Don't apologize to me, apologize to people whom you've genuinely urt. Like Genevieve, for instance.
/ Sven: I did. / Sven: I caught up with her when she left O'Surly's and said I was sorry for how I treated her.
/ Faye: Well...that's a good start, but it'll take more tan a couple apologies to mend your man-whore ways.
/ Sven: I know. Starting now, I'm turning over a new leaf. This is the beginning of a new era in Sven-land! / [[A nurse enters, holding a clipboard. Sven stands.]]
/ Nurse: Mr. Bianchi? We can see you now.
/ Sven: Tomorrow. The new era has been postponed until tomorrow.
/ Marten: Can rabies be transmitted sexually?
/ Faye: Hopefully he'll at least wait to get is shots before he mounts her. / {{August 14, 2006 12:12am / Curses! Tonight's strip is a couple minutes late because I was having Photoshop issues tonight. Does anybody know any tricks for getting CS2 to run more stably on a G5? I have lots of RAM (3gb!) and all the updates for the software and OS X, yet I still experience program crashes on a pretty regular basis. / I am pleased to announce that Patches is the newest member of DayFree Press! Patches is one of my very favoritest comics, and Kelly is a hell of excellent painter as well. You should check it out! / Ok that is it for tonight. Posters are supposed to arrive on Thursday, I'll put 'em up for sale on the site then. I also hope to have a new t-shirt design up by the end of the week, we'll see what happens. Enjoy the comic and I will see you tomorrow. }} http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=686 |
| Number 686: The Nurse Who Loved Me | Sven: You guys didn't have to come to the hospital with me.
/ Marten: Considering how your night's been going, I wanted to make sure you didn't get mauled by a dinosaur or something on your way here.
/ Faye: I might've just let the angry stegosaurus do his thing. / Sven: Yeah... you were right about what you said earlier tonight, Faye. I've been an asshole, and I'm sorry. Thanks for setting me straight.
/ Faye: Don't apologize to me, apologize to people whom you've genuinely hurt. Like Genevieve, for instance.
/ Sven: I did. / Sven: I caught up with her when she left O'Surly's and said I was sorry for how I treated her.
/ Faye: Well... that's a good start, but it'll take more than a couple apologies to mend your man-whore ways.
/ Sven: I know. Starting now, I'm turning over a new leaf. This is the beginning of a new era in Sven-land! / Nurse: Mr. Bianchi? We can see you now.
/ Sven: Tomorrow. The new era has been postponed until tomorrow.
/ Marten: Can rabies be transmitted sexually?
/ Faye: Hopefully he'll at least wait to get his shots before he mounts her. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=686# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Faye: Mornin' Marty. You're up early.
/ Marten: I'm looking for another job. Might as well get an early start.
/ Pintsize: ZzZzZzZz / Faye: Anything interesting? Oooh, exotic dancer! You could do that!
/ Marten: The sad part is it looks like my only options are that or workin' at some burger joint. / Faye: You could always sell drugs to schoolchildren. Or become a professional hitman. Or get nekkid in front of a webcam. Or some combination thereof.
/ Marten: While I appreciate your levity, this is starting to worry me. It's hard enough to find ANY job, let alone one that doesn't utterly suck. / Faye: Well, let's narrow it down. What do you mean by "a job that doesn't utterly suck"? What do you WANT to do?
/ Marten: Well ideally I'd like to get paid to sit around, drink coffee, and listen to music all day.
/ Faye: Okay, now would this dream job of yours take place in Magical Pony Pegasus Land, or the Marshmallow Fairy Kingdom? Because either way it's a hell of a commute.
/ Pintsize: I would totally eat a marshmallow fairy. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=687 |
| Number 687: I Would Too | {{Title: I Would too}} / [[Marteen reads the aper in the couch while Pintsize sleeps on it]]
/ Faye: Mornin' Marty. You're up early.
/ Marteen: I'm looking for another job. Might as well get an early start
/ Pintsize: ZzZzZzZz / [[Faye takes a look at the paper in Marteen's hand]]
/ Faye: Anything interesting? Oooh, exotic dancer! You could do that!
/ Marteen: The sad part is it looks like my only options are that or workin' at some burger joint. / [[Marteen starts walking to the kitchen]]
/ Faye: You could always sell drugs to school children. Or become a professional hitman. Or get nekkid in front of a webcam. Or some combination thereof.
/ Marteen: While i apreciate your levity, this is starting to worry me. It's hard enough to find ANY job, let alone one that doesn't utterly suck. / [[Marteen turns arround and Pintsize sits up]]
/ Faye: Well, let's narrow it down. What do you mean by "a job that doesn't utterly suck"? What do you WANT to do?
/ Marteen: Well ideally I'd like to get paid to sit arround, drink coffe, and listen to music all day.
/ Faye: Okay, now would this dream job of yours take place in Magical Pony Pegasus Land, or the Marshmallow Fairy Kingdom? Because either way it's a hell of a commute.
/ Pinntsize: i would totally eat a marshmallow Fairy. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=687# |
| Number 688: Pissin' Off The Objectivists | Faye: Hey Dora. Nice knickers, I wasn't aware that Oliver Twist was the new hot thing in fashion.
/ Dora: If you shopped anywhere other than the Salvation Army dumpster you might've heard about it already.
/ Faye: Ooh, touche! We're feelin' sassy this morning, are we?
/ Dora: Just getting ready for the morning rush. If yesterday was any indication it's gonna be crazy today too. / Faye: My sarcasm beam is all charged up and ready to go too. Any progress on the new-employee front?
/ Dora: Not really. I'd rather not hire some random chick, but every other girl I know is either crazy as hell or already employed elsewhere. / Faye: We could just hire Marten. I mean, he's in here practically all day anyway...
/ Dora: For the last time, no. It's one thing having him hang out here, but employing him? Are you TRYING to sabotage our relationship? / Faye: And be forced to listen to both of you bitch and moan about the breakup? I may be a heinous bitch but I'm no masochist.
/ Dora: How delightfully pragmatic of you. Ayn Rand would be proud.
/ Faye: Ugh, have you ever actually READ any Ayn Rand? I told you, I'm no masochist. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=688 |
| Pissin' Off The Objectivists | {{Title text: Pissin' Off The Objectivists}} / [[Faye enters Coffee of Doom to find Dora cleaning]]
/ Faye: Hey Dora, nice knickers, I wasn't aware that Oliver Twist was the new hot thing in fashion.
/ Dora: If you shopped anywhere other than the Salvation Army dumpster you might've heard about it already.
/ Faye: Ooh, touche! We're feelin' sassy this morning are we?
/ Dora: Just getting ready for the morning rush. If yesterday was any indication, it's gonna be crazy today too. / Faye: My sarcasm beam is all charged up and ready to go too. Any progress on the new-employee hunt?
/ Dora: Not really, I'd rather not hire some random chick, but every other girl I know is either crazy as hell or already employed somewhere else. / Faye: We could just hire Marten. I mean, he's in here practically all day anyway...
/ Dora: For the last time, no. It's one thing having him hang out here, but employing him? Are you trying to sabotage our relationship? / Faye: And be forced to listen to both of you bitch and moan about the breakup? I may be a heinous bitch but I'm no masochist.
/ Dora: How delightfully pragmatic of you. Ayn Rand would be proud.
/ Faye: Ugh, have you ever actually read any Ayn Rand? I told you, I'm no masochist. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=688# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Faye: Hey Dora. Nice knickers. I wasn't aware that Oliver Twist was the new hot thing in fashion.
/ Dora: If you shopped anywhere other than the Salvation Army dumpster you might've heard about it already.
/ Faye: Ooh, touché! We're feelin' sassy this morning, are we?
/ Dora: Just getting ready for the morning rush. If yesterday was any indication it's gonna be crazy today too. / Faye: My sarcasm beam is all charged up and ready to go too. Any progress on the new-employee front?
/ Dora: Not really. I'd rather not hire some random chick, but every other girl I know is either crazy as hell or already employed elsewhere. / Faye: We could just hire Marten. I mean, he's in here practically all day anyway...
/ Dora: For the last time, no. It's one thing having him hang out here, but employing him? Are you TRYING to sabotage our relationship? / Faye: And be forced to listen to both of you bitch and moan about the breakup? I may be a heinous bitch but I'm no masochist.
/ Dora: How delightfully pragmatic of you. Ayn Rand would be proud.
/ Faye: Ugh, have you ever actually READ any Ayn Rand? I told you, I'm no masochist. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=688' |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Faye and Dora in Coffee of Doom]]
/ {{Blackboard: Specialz}}
/ Dora: So what should the specials be today?
/ Faye: Hmm. Is there any cayenne pepper left from yesterday?
/ Dora: We had cayenne? What for?
/ Faye: We ran out of cinnamon so I improvised a replacement. / [[Faye and Dora in Coffee of Doom]]
/ Dora: This could be a breakthrough in hot beverage seasoning. I wonder how coriander would taste in a latte.
/ Faye: Any word from the FDA on my antidepressent espresso idea?
/ Dora: Yeah, they still won't budge on the whole medicin-in-drinks thing. / [[Raven, Faye, and Dora in Coffee of Doom]]
/ {{Blackboard: Spicy Mocha}}
/ Faye: Curses! First they shoot down my Freedom Frappe concept, and now this.
/ Raven: Freedom Frappe?
/ Dora: Blended coffee drinks, only the ice would be made from the frozen tears of a bald eagle. Apparently it's illegal to make a protected species cry. / [[Raven, Faye, and Dora in Coffee of Doom]]
/ Faye: You know, children aren't a protected species. We could always use their tears.
/ Raven: That's awful!
/ Faye: Oh come on, a little horrific childhood trauma never hurt anybody. Tell a kid his parents are cannibal robots from Pluto and I bet the little brat will put out enough saline to fill a gallon jug!
/ Dora: I can see the TV ad now. "Coffee of Doom! Just follow the sound of sobbing toddlers to the best espresso in town!" http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=689 |
| Questionable Content | [[Dora and Faye are standing around the counter at Coffee of Doom]] / Dora: So what should the specials be today?
/ Faye: Hmm. Is there any cayenne pepper left from yesterday?
/ Dora: We had cayenne? What for?
/ Faye: We ran out of cinnamon so I improvised a replacement. / Dora: This could be a breakthrough in hot beverage seasoning. I wonder how coriander would taste in a latte?
/ Faye: Any word from the FDA on my antidepressant espresso idea?
/ Dora: Yeah, they still won't budge on the whome perscription-drugs-in-drinks thing. / [[Raven enters panel from right]]
/ Dora: Curses! First they shoot down my Freedom Frappe conxept, now this.
/ Raven: Freedom Frappe?
/ Dora: Blended coffee drinks, only the ice would be made from the frozen tears of a bald eagle. Apparently, it's illegal to make a protected species cry. / Faye: You know, children aren't a protected species, we could always use their tears.
/ Raven: That's awful!
/ Faye: Oh come on, a little horrific childhood trauma never hurt anybody. tell a kid his parents are cannibal robots from Pluto and I bet the little brat will put out enough saline to fill a gallon jug.
/ Dora: I can see the TV ad now. "Coffee of Doom, just follow the sound of sobbing toddlers to the best espresso in town!" / {{title text: Number 689: Don't Let Her Babysit}} http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=689# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Faye: .....So after coercing Marty into doing his derty work for him, he had the nerve to try and sneak out the back window!
/ Dora: Sounds like classic Sven behavior to me. You get used to it eventually. / Faye: Hopefully he learned his lesson last night. Between me, Genevieve, and those raccoons he had a hell of an evening.
/ Dora: Sven's problem is he hasn't had to really try hard for anything in his life. He just coasts by on his charm and good looks, and happens to have such a knack for writing awful pop-country that doesn't even need to worry about money. / Faye: I utterly fail to see what attracts girls to him.
/ Dora: He's a good-looking, confident guy, and say what you will about him, he does know how to charm a lady.
/ Faye: I HATE boys like that. One compliment and they expect you to be eatin' out of their hand.
/ Dora: See, he needs to date a girl like you, who'll beat some sense into him. / Faye: Bleh, nooo thanks. I have plenty of issues of my own to deal with.
/ Raven: Hey Faye, how about you do the 'beating some sense into him' part, and I handle every thing else! Especially the sex.
/ Dora: You two are NOT tag-teaming my brother. [in an undertone:] ....And I really wish that was the first time I've had to tell that to a couple girls. http://questionablecontent.net//view.php?comic=690 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Faye: ...So after coercing Marty into doing his dirty work for him, he had the nerve to try and sneak out the back window!
/ Dora: Sounds like classic Sven behavior to me. You get used to it eventually. / Faye: Hopefully he learned his lesson last night. Between me, Genevieve, and those raccoons he had a hell of an evening.
/ Dora: Sven's problem is he hasn't had to really try hard for anything in his life. He just coasts by on his charm and good looks, and happens to have such a knack for writing awful pop-country that he doesn't even need to worry about money. / Faye: I utteryly fail to see what attracts girls to him.
/ Dora:He's a good-looking, confident guy, and say what you will about him, he does know how to charm a lady.
/ Faye: I HATE boys like that. One compliment and they expect you to be eatin' out of their hand.
/ Dora: See, he needs to date a girl like you, who'll beat some sense into him. / Raven: Hey Faye, how about you do the 'beating some sense into him" part, and I handle everything else! Especially the sex.
/ Faye: Bleh, nooo thanks. I have plenty of issues of my own to deal with.
/ Dora: You two are NOT tag-teaming my brother.
/ Dora: ...And I really with that was the first time I've had to tell that to a couple girls. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=690 |
| Number 690: And They Didn't Mean Wrestling | Faye: ...So after coercing Marty into doing his diry work for him, he had the nerve to try to sneak out the back window!
/ Dora: Sounds like classic Sven behavior to me. You get used to it eventually. / Faye: Hopefully he learned his lesson last night. Between me, Genevieve, and those raccoons he had a hell of an evening.
/ Dora: Sven's problem is he hasn't had to really try hard for anything in his life. He just coasts by on his charm and good looks, and happens to have such a knack for writing awful pop-country that he doesn't even need to worry about money. / Faye: I utterly fail to see what attracts girls to him.
/ Dora: He's a good-looking, confident guy, and say what you will about him, he does know how to charm a lady.
/ Faye: I HATE boys like that. One compliment and they expect you to be eatin' out of their hand.
/ Dora: See, he needs to date a girl like you, who'll beat some sense into him. / Faye: Bleh, nooo thanks. I have plenty of issues of my own to deal with.
/ Raven: Hey Faye, how about you do the 'beating some semse into him' part and I handle everything else! Especially the sex.
/ Dora: You two are NOT tag-teaming my brother.
/ ...And I really wish that was the first time I've had to tell that to a couple of girls. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=690# |
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