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| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Amanda and Faye in basement]]
/ Amanda: So you're gonna go visit dad tomorrow?
/ Faye: Yeah, probably first thing in the morning. / Amanda: Do you want to bring some flowers? Mom's got some nice daisies growing alongside the house. I bet she wouldn't mind if you took a few.
/ Faye: Yeah, I'll bring those, a box of tissues in case of cryin', and a bottle of cough syrup in case of yellin'. / Amanda: You should also bring some holy water and a shotgun, in case he comes back as a vampire or a zombie. Or a zombie-vampire.
/ Faye: Har har. Last I checked, dad wasn't buried in the Graveyard of Overused Horror Tropes. / Amanda: Haha, is that next to the Cemetary of Romantic Comedy Cliches?
/ Faye: Yup. You can see the giant statue of John Cusack holding up a boombox all the way from the Rock n' Roll Memorial Gardnes.
/ Faye: They really need to fence in that place, the Rolling Stones keep escaping and going on tour. / {{The Polka Mausoleum?}} http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=601 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Amanda is on the couch, Faye stands up on the side of it]]
/ Amanda: So you're gonna go visit dad tomorrow?
/ Faye: Yeah, probably first thing it the morning. / [[Faye sits on the couch]]
/ Amanda: Do you want to bring some flowers? Mom's got some nive daisies growing alongside the house. I bet she wouldn't mind if you took a few.
/ Faye: Yeah, I'll bring those, a box of tissues in case of cryin' and a bottle of cough syrup in case of yellin'. / [[Both stand up]]
/ Amanda: You should also bring some holy water and a shotgun, in case he comes back as a vampire or a zombie. Or a zombie-vampire.
/ Faye: Har har. Last I checked, dad wasn't buried in the Graveyard of Overused Horror Tropes. / Amanda: Haha, is that next to the Cemetary of Romantic Comedy Cliches?
/ Faye: Yup. You can see a giant statue of John Cusak holding up a boombox all the way from the Rock n'Roll Memorial Gardens.
/ Faye: They really need to fence that place in, the Rolling Stones keep escaping and going on tour. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=601# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Marten and Dora sitting on a couch]]
/ Marten: Aw, come on!There's no way she could've dodged that meat cleaver! What is she, a hapless teenage cheerleader ninja?
/ Dora: I love a man who roots for the psychopath in the hockey mask. / Marten: How can you NOT root for him? He's doing evolution a favor by massacring these insipid coeds.
/ Dora: Such misanthropy! You SURE you don't have any goth in you? / Marten: I'd twist that into some kind of innuendo but I'm honestly not quite sure how it'd work.
/ Dora: Hello, I'm right here. Why waste your time on innuendo when you could be giving me kisses? / Marten: You know if feed a starving person too much too fast, they die of shock? I'm like that, only with romance.
/ Dora: I'll get the IV and give you intravenous makeouts then.
/ Marten: Haha, awesome. "Dude, my veins are totally getting some right now!" http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=602 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Marten: Aw, come on! There's no way she could have dodged that meat cleaver! What is she, a hapless teenage cheerleader ninja?
/ Dora: I love a man who roots for the psychopath in the hockey mask.
/ Marten: How can you NOT root for him? He's doing evolution a favour by massacring these insipid coeds.
/ Dora: Such misanthropy! You SURE you don't have any goth in you?
/ Marten: I'd twist that into some kind of innuendo but I'm honestly not quite sure how it'd work.
/ Dora: Hello, I'm right here. Why waste your time on innuendo when you could be giving me kisses?
/ Marten: You know how if you feed a starving person too fast, they die of shock? I'm like that, only with romance.
/ Dora: I'll get the IV and give you intravenous makeouts then.
/ Marten: Haha, awesome. "Dude my veins are totally getting some right now!" http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=602# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Marten: Woo, we totally missed the ending of that movie but I am so not complaining.
/ Dora: Yeah, me neither. Hang on, I'll be right back. / Marten: What's this?
/ Dora: It's my relationship checklist. Just a few basic questions I like to get out of the way before I commit to dating someone, you know? You just answer "yes" or "no" to each one. / Marten: Hmmm, okay. No, I don't have any diseases you should know about. No, I'm not a crazy racist. Yes, I like monogamy.
/ Dora: Awesome, we're in total agreement so far! / Marten: "Are you sexually aroused by urination"?
/ Dora: Hey, you only need that kink sprung on you ONCE before you start asking in advance. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=603 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Martin " Woo, we totally missed the ending of that movie but i am so not complaining." / Dora "Yeah me neither. Hang on,I'll be right back." / Martin " What's this?" / Dora "It's my relationship checklist. Just a few basic questions I like to get out of hte way before I commit to dating someone, you know? You just answer "yes" or "no" to each one. / Martin "Hmm, okay. No,I don't have any diseases you should know about/ No, I'm not a crazy racist. Yes, I like monogamy" / Dora "Awesome, we're in total agreement so far!" / Martin "Are you sexually aroused by urination?" / Dora "Hey, you only need that kink sprung on you ONCE before you start asking in advance." http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=603# |
| Number 604: Frustration and Physics | Dora: So...would it be utterly horrible of me to not have sex with you tonight? I mean, it's not that I don't WANT to, it's just a little early, you know? / Marten: No, it's cool. I understand. / Dora: Are you sure? You're not mad at me? / Marten: Don't worry about it. If I've made it this long without bangin', a little while longer isn't going to kill me. / Dora: ...He said, moments before his testicles leapt into his throat and strangled him. / Marten: No, I'm serious! That's like rule number one of dating - if the lady tells you she wants to wait, you wait. Even if it means you get blueballed so hard your nuts travel into the future due to relativistic effects. / Dora: Ah, the Hawking Libido Dilation Effect. Bane of frustrated young men and physicists alike. / Marten: Yeah, I currently exist in a quantum state of both profound frustration and utter delight. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=604 |
| Questionable Content: #604 | [[Dora and Marten are on the couch, Dora half on top of Marten]] / Dora: So...would it be utterly horrible of me to not have sex with you tonight? / Dora: I mean, it's not that I don't WANT to, it's just a little early, you know?
/ Marten: No, it's cool. I understand.
/ Dora: Are you sure? You're not mad at me? / Marten: Don't worry about it. If I've made it this long without bangin', a little while longer isn't gonna kill me.
/ Dora: ...He said, moments before his testicles leapt into his throat and strangled him. / Marten: No, I'm serious! That's like rule number one of dating- if the lady tells you she wants to wait, you wait. Even if it means you get blueballed so hard your nuts travel into the future due to relativistic effects.
/ Dora: Ah, the Hawking Libido Dilation Effect. Bane of frustrated young men and physicists alike.
/ Marten: Yeah. I currently exist in a quantum state of both profound frustration and utter delight. / {{title: Frustration and Physics}} http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=604# |
| Episode 605: In Memoriam | Fae: Hi dad. / Fae: You know, I had a whole big speech planned out in my head, but now that I'm here it feels sort of pointless.
/ Fae: But it's not like you're going anywhere so I might as well say it anyway. / Fae: I miss you. I wish you weren't gone. It hurts so bad to be sitting here, looking at your grave, and not even know why you put yourself here in the first place.
/ Fae: But there's no point in being mad at you anymore. And there's no point in projecting your actions onto other people whom I care about. So I'm going to try and stop doint that. I'm going to get help, and stop pushing people away. Life's too damn short to waste it on being unhappy.
/ Fae: It's time for me to move on. / Fae: Bye daddy. I love you and miss you.
/ Fae: I promise to try not to use too many cuss words when I talk about you to my therapist. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=605 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Faye standing in a cemetery in front at her father's grave.]]
/ Hi dad. / [[Faye sits]]
/ You know I had a whole big speech planned out in my head, but now that I'm here it feels sort of pointless. But it's not like you're going anywhere so I might as well say it anyway. / I miss you. I wish you weren't gone. It hurts so bad to be sitting here, looking at your grave, and not even know why you put yourself here in the first place. But there's no point in being mad at you anymore. And there's no point in projecting your actions onto other people whom I care about. So I'm going to try and stop doing that. I'm going to get help, and stop pushing people away. Life's too damn short to waste it on being unhappy. It's time for me to move one. / [[Faye places her hand on the gravestone]]
/ Bye, daddy. I love you and miss you. I promise to try not to use too many cuss words when I talk about you to my therapist. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=605# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Dora: Good morning, sleepyhead
/ Marten: Muh...morning. You been awake long?
/ Dora: Only a little while. / Dora: Did you sleep okay:
/ Marten: Yeah, but someone kept grabbing my butt in the dark.
/ Dora: I couldn't help myself, it was so cute and it was right there next to me. / Dora: Besides, you're my porperty now. I can do with you as i please.
/ Marten: Oh, I wasn't aware that was how it workded.
/ Dora: Yep. I can be all "bitch take me out for some pancakes!" and you have to be all "yes ma'am, right away ma'am." / Marten: So basically I'm your slave, but you're only going to order me to do agreeable things? I think I can live with that.
/ Dora: well, I might also make you go shoe-shopping with me. Every rose has its thorn.
/ Marten: I just spent the night with a hot chick who can quote Poison lyrics at will. I win so hard. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=606 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Dora and Martin in bed. It is morning.]]
/ Dora: Good morning, sleepyhead.
/ Martin: Muh...morning. You been awake long?
/ Dora: Only a little while. / [[Martin putting his shirt on. Dora stretching in her night shirt and underwear.]]
/ Dora: Did you sleep okay?
/ Martin: Yeah, but someone kept grabbing my butt in the dark.
/ Dora: I couldn't help myself, it was so cute and it was right there next to me. / [[Martin with his shirt on backwards.]]
/ Dora: Besides, you're my property now. I can do with you as I please.
/ Martin: Oh, I wasn't aware that was how it worked.
/ Dora: Yup. I can be all "bitch take me out for some pancakes!" and you have to be all "yes ma'am, right away ma'am." / Martin: So basically I'm your slave, but you're only going to order me to do agreeable things? I think I can live with that.
/ Dora: Well, I might also make you go shoe-shopping with me. Every rose has its thorn.
/ Martin: I just spent one night with a hot chick who can quote Poison lyrics at will. I win so hard. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=606# |
| Questionable Content: Comic #607 | Martin: Oh man, you know what I just realized? We're one of those couples
/ Dora: "Those" couples? / Martin: The ones you always see on Sunday mornings at diners like this, all quietly talking and sheepishly smiling at each other, and you can totally tell they just hooked up the night before.
/ Dora: I dont recall there being any "hook-ups" going on between us last night, though. / Martin: Well yea, but it's the same deal. Here we are, quietly talking and smiling bashfullly at each other.
/ Dora: Well, I think it's kinda cute. What's the problem? / Martin: Oh, there's no problem. Are you kidding? I'm friggin' basking in the moment.
/ Dora: I hate to interrupt your basking, but the waitress is here.
/ Waitress: It's okay, I'm used to it. Do you have any idea how often I overhear this conversation? http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=607 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Dora and Martin in a diner.]]
/ Martin: Oh man, you know what I just realized. We're one of those couples.
/ Dora: "Those" couples? / Martin: The ones you always see on Sunday mornings at diners like this, all quietly talking and sheepishly smiling at each other, and you can totally tell they just hooked up the night before.
/ Dora: I don't recall there being any "hook-ups" going on between us last night, though. / Martin: Well yeah, but it's the same deal. Here we are, quietly talking and smiling bashfully at each other.
/ Dora: Well, I think it's kinda cute. What's the problem? / [[Waitress approaches]]
/ Martin: Oh, there's no problem. Are you kidding? I'm friggin' basking in the moment.
/ Dora: I hate to interrupt your basking, but the waitress is here.
/ Waitress: It's okay, I'm used to it. Do you have any idea how often I overhear this conversation. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=607# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [Marten and Dora walk through the streets]
/ Dora: So do you think we did the right thing?
/ Marten: What do you mean?
/ Dora: Us getting together. Do you think it was the right thing to do? / Marten: Well yeah, I mean we like each other, so...
/ Dora: I just feel bad for Faye. She really likes you, regardless of what her crazy-ass mind tells her. And here I am, snatching you up the minute she says she can't date you. / Marten: I dunno, it's a complicated situation. The way I see it you gave Faye as much time as she was willing to take, you know? She TOLD me not to wait for her, and she certainly didn't say "please don't wait for me, but also don't go out with Dora."
/ Dora: Yeah... / Marten: Wow, this is really bothering you a lot, huh.
/ Dora: Part of me is the happiest girl in the world right now, but another part of me thinks I'm a horrible bitch. It's very confusing.
/ I think I exude a pheromone that causes existential conflict in ladies. I'm like some sort of rare Uncertainty Moth. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=608 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Marty and Dora are walking on the sidewalk. they seem concerned]]
/ Dora: So, do you think we did the right thing?
/ Marty: What do you mean?
/ Dora: Us getting together. Do you think it was the right thing to do? / Marty: Well yeah, I mean we like each other so...
/ Dora: I just feel bad for Faye. She really likes you, regardless of what her crazy-ass mind tells her. And here I am, snatching you up the minute she says she can't date you. / Marty: I dunno, it's a complicated situation. The way I see it, you gave Faye as much time as she was willing to take, you know? She TOLD me not to wait for her, and she certainly didn't say "please, don't wait for me, but also don't go out with Dora."
/ Dora: Yeah... / Marty: Wow, this is really bothering you a lot, huh.
/ Dora: Part of me is the happiest girl in the world right now, but another part of me thinks I'm a horrible bitch. It's very confusing.
/ Marty: I think I exude a pheromone that causes existential confict in ladies. I'm like some sort of rare Uncertainty Moth. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=608# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Faye cames right from the cemetery. Amanda is standing by the car]]
/ Amanda: Hey sis. You ok?
/ Faye: Yeah,I'm alright. No life-changing catharsis or anything,but it was nice to visit dad. / [[They get in the car. Amanda is driving, Faye on the side bench]]
/ Amanda: So what do you wanna do now?
/ Faye: Bluh. I've had enought solemn contemplation for one day. Gimme some fast food and let's go shopping or something. / Amanda: Atta girl.Medicate your grief with unhealthy food and capitalism!
/ Faye: Can the smartassery and get me to a Sonic post haste if you value your internal organs. / Amanda: You can HAVE my uterus if you want it.It'd be nice to go a month without agonizing cramps.
/ Faye: Oh, excellent."Hi Marty,I'm back from Savannah and I brought souvenirs! Here's a Confederate flag and my little sister's uterus in a jar! We can put it on the coffee table!"
/ Amanda: From what I've seen, Marten's got enough uteruses in his life as it is. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=609 |
| Number 609: I Heart Jettas | Amanda: Hey sis. You ok?
/ Faye: Yeah, I'm all right. No life-changing catharsis or anything, but it was nice to visit dad. / Amanda: So what do you wanna do now?
/ Faye: Bluh. I've had enough solemn contemplation for one day. Gimme some fast food and let's go shopping or something. / Amanda: Atta girl. Medicate your grief with unhealthy food and capitalism!
/ Faye: Can the smartassery and get me to a Sonic post haste if you value your internal organs. / Amanda: You can have my uterus if you want it. It'd be nice to go a month without agonizing cramps.
/ Faye: Oh, excellent. "Hi Marty, I'm back from Savannah and I brought souvenirs! Here's a Confederate flag and my little sister's uterus in a jar! We can put it on the coffee table!"
/ Amanda: From what I've seen, Marten's got enough uteruses in his life as it is. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=609# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Marten: Dora, I don't think you're a bad person. Seriously, Faye did everything short of sign an affadavit saying she wasn't going to date me.
/ Dora: And you're not just going out with me because you can't be with her? / Marten: What? No! It's not an "If I can't have A then B is good enough" situation. It's "yeah I liked A a lot, but oh wow I like B a lot too and she actually wants to date me!"
/ Dora: Really? Are you sure? / Marten: Yeah. I could keep being passive and wait for something good to fall into my lap, or I could actually take charge and do something that I think could make me happy. In this case, it's dating you.
/ Dora: Marten, you're a wonderful boy but the thought of you taking charge of ANYTHING is totally hilarious.You're about as assertive as a manatee on codeine. / Marten: Hey, that's not fair! The other day I wanted some soup, and there was none in the apartment. What did I do? I went to the friggin' store and got some soup! If that's not taking charge of a situation I don't know what is.
/ Dora: Oh Marten, your tiger-like ferocity has my heart all aflutter. I may faint! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=610 |
| Number 610: From Anxiety to Sarcasm in 60 Seconds | Marten: Dora, I don't think you're a bad person. Seriously, Faye did everything short of sign an affadavit saying she wasn't going to date me.
/ Dora: And you're not just going out with me because you can't be with her? / Marten: What? No! It's not an "If I can't have A then B is good enough" situation. It's "yeah I like A a lot, but oh wow I like B a lot too and SHE actually wants to date me!"
/ Dora: Really? Are you sure? / Marten: Yeah. I could keep being passive and wait for something good to fall into my lap, or I coud actually take charge and do something that I think could make me happy. In this case, it's dating you.
/ Dora: Marten, you're a wonderful boy but the thought of you taking charge of ANYTHING is totally hilarious. You're about as assertive as a manatee on codeine. / Marten: Hey, that's not fair! The other day I wanted some soup, and there was none in the apartment. What did I do? I went to the friggin' store and got some soup! If that's not taking charge of a situation I don't know what is.
/ Dora: Oh Marten, your tiger-like ferocity has my heart all aflutter. I may faint! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=610# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Number 611: Robots Gone Wild}} / [[Marten walks into his apartment; it's covered with streamers and party stuff]] / Marten: Pintsize, I'm... home? / Marten: What the hell happened here? / Pintsize: Sssh, not so loud. I'm way hung over and Hannelore's still passed out. Winslow's been stuck in standby mode ever since he did that last jello shot. / Marten: I take it there was a party in my absence. / Pintsize: You know how these things go. You invite a few friends over, they invite their friends, someone shows up with a disco ball and a keg, and everything just goes downhill from there. / Marten: Well this is your doing, so you're gonna have to... is that beard subble on your face? How did- / Pintsize: Long story. / Hannelore: Ugh, my mouth tastes like I've been gargling a 9-volt battery. / Pintsize: Yeah, you probably don't remember that game of spin the bottle. / [[Winslow falls off the couch]] < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=611 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Martin: Pintsize, I'm...home? / Martin: What the hell happened in here?
/ Pintsize: Sssh, not so loud. I'm way hung over and Hannelore's still passed out. Winslow's been stuck in standby mode ever since he did that last Jello shot. / Martin: I take it there was a party in my absence.
/ Pintsize: You know how these things go. You invite a few friends over; they invite their friends, someone shows up with a disco ball and a keg, and everything just goes downhill from there. / Martin: Well, this is your doing so you're gonna have to...is that beard stubble on your face? How did-
/ Pintsize: Long story.
/ Hannelore: Ugh, my mouth tastes like I've been gargling a 9-volt battery.
/ Pintsize: Yeah, you probably don't remember that game of spin the bottle. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=611# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Hannelore: Ugh, I'm really sorry about this. Pintsize invited a couple other AntrhoPCs over last night and it just snowballed from there.
/ Marten: Don't worry about it. There's no major structural damage and the stains will come off the walls. / Hannelore: I guess this makes it two times I've passed out at your apartment. I'm really sorry.
/ Marten: It's okay, really! Is Winslow gonna be all right?
/ Hannelore: Yeah, he just needs a hard reset and a couple of hours to recover. / Hannelore: Incidentally, do you think Pintsize was joking about playing spin the bottle with me last night? Because I really don't remember that. / Marten: To be honest, it does sound like the kind of thing he'd do.
/ Hannelore: Okay, you might wanna take a couple steps back then. I tend to flail my arms around when freaking out.
/ Marten: Right, I'll go put on my bike helmet. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=612 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{title text; Number 612: Where does he keep his bike?}}
/ Hannelore; Ugh, I'm really sorry about this. Pinsize invited a couple other AnthroPCs over last night and it just snowballed from there.
/ Martin; Don't worry about it. There's no major structural damage and the stains will come off the walls. / Hannelore; I guess this makes it two times I've passed out at your apartment. I'm really sorry.
/ Martin; It's okay, really! Is Winslow gonna be alright?
/ Hannelore; Yeah, he just needs a hard reset and a couple hours to recover. / Hannelore; Incidentally, do you think Pintsize was joking about playing spin the bottle with me last night? Because I really don't remember that. / Martin; To be honest, it does sound like the kind of thing he'd do.
/ Hannelore; Okay, you might want to take a couple steps back then. I tend to flail my arms around when freaking out.
/ Martin; Right, I'll go put my bike helmet on. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=612# |
| Number 613: They'll Need Two Giant Q-Tips | Raven: I can't believe you two didn't bang. You're such a prude.
/ Dora: We had plenty of fun last night without getting it on, thank you very much. / Raven: So are you feeling less freaked out about all this?
/ Dora: Yeah, I guess. I mean, it helps to hear Marten say he's not just settling for me. Not I just have to wait and see how things go when Faye gets back. / Raven: She seemed mostly okay with it before she left.
/ Dora: Yeah, but you never know with these things. She could come back and everything will be fine, or she might return only to confess her undying love for Marten or something. / Raven: And you're worried Marten would still pick her over you?
/ Dora: No, I'm just wondering whether we'd need a special permit to stage a gladitorial fight to the death. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=613 |
| Number 613: They'll Need Two Giant Q-Tips | [[Dora and Raven inside Coffee of Doom]]
/ Raven: I can't believe you two didn't bang. You're such a prude.
/ Dora: We had plenty of fun last night without getting it on, thank you very much. / Raven: So are you feeling less freaked out about all this?
/ Dora: Yeah, I guess. I mean, it helps to hear Marten say he's not settling for me. Now I just have to wait and see how things go when Faye gets back. / Raven: She seemed mostly okay with it before she left.
/ Dora: Yeah, but you never know with these things. She could come back and everything will be fin, or she might return only to profess her undying love for Marten or something. / Raven: And you're worried Marten would still pick her over you?
/ Dora: No, I'm just wondering whether we'd need a special permit to stage a gladiatorial fight to the death. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=613# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Faye and Amanda walk into their mother's house]]
/ Amanda: ...So are you worried about going back to Massachusetts?
/ Faye: Hmm? No, I...wow, you know, I honestly haven't worried about it at all since I got down here. / Amanda: Coming from you, that's a big deal. You don't think it'll be awkward or anything?
/ Faye: Yeah, I'm sure there'll be some uncomfortable moments. But life goes on, you know? It'll eventually work out for the best, one way or another. / Amanda: How very Zen of you.
/ Faye: It's not Zen, it's just the way things work. Time passes, things change, and you adapt. / [[Amanda places her arm on Faye's shoulder]]
/ Amanda: Aw gee Faye, all of a sudden you're like the wise, insightful big sister I never had.
/ Faye: It suretook me long enough. If I were Isaac Newton it would've taken a treeful of apples and a cracked skull before that whole theory of gravitation thing occurred to me. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=614 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Amanda and Faye enter their mom's house. A needlepoint reads "Bless This Home."]]
/ Amanda: ...So are you worried about going back to Massachusetts?
/ Faye: Hmm? No, I... wow, you know, I honestly haven't worried about it at all since I got down here. / Amanda: Coming from you, that's a big deal. You don't think it'll be awkward or anything?
/ Faye: Yeah, I'm sure there'll be some uncomfortable moments. But life goes on, you know? It'll eventually work out for the best, one way or another. / Amanda: How very Zen of you.
/ Faye: It's not Zen, it's just the way things work. Time passes, things change, and you adapt. / Amanda: Aw gee Faye, all of a sudden you're like the wise, insightful big sister I never had.
/ Faye: It sure took me long enough. If I were Isaac Newton it would have taken a treeful of apples and a cracked skull before that whole theory of gravitation thing occurred to me. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=614# |
| That's Some Good Webcest | Dora: Back so soon? You really can't get enough of me.
/ Marten: Dora you're rad and all but right now I need to be out of my apartment as much as anything else. / Dora: What happened?
/ Marten: Pintsize threw a party last night while I was out, and Hannelore ended up getting smashed and possibly making out with one or more AnthroPCs. Upon realizing this, she has a panic attack.
/ Marten: So here I am in my filthy, disheveled apartment, trying to comfort a hyperventilating chick while Pintsize vomits cake frosting into the kitchen sink. / Dora: Poor boy! Is Hannelore okay?
/ Marten: Yeah, she popped a couple Atavan and passed out on my couch. Again. Then I shut Pintsize down and disassembeled him so his chassis could soak in the sink, and I managed to scrape most of the frosting and God knows what else off the walls. So yeah, I've had a kind of crappy afternoon thus far. / Dora: So I guess now would be a bad time to tell you that I used to be a man.
/ Marten: No, see, the way my life works is you'd wait until after we had sex to tell me that. You know, let me get the full afterglow going before you shatter my mind.
/ Raven: And then Pintsize would upload a video of it to the internet! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=615 |
| Questionable Content: Number 615: That's Some Good Webcest | [Martin, on the left, looks tired. Dora, on the right, is smiling.]
/ Dora: Back so soon? You really can't get enough of me.
/ Martin: Dora you're rad and all but right now I need to be out of my apartment as much as anything else. / [The scene becomes a tighter view of the couple with Dora looking very concerned.]
/ Dora: What happened?
/ Martin: Pintsize threw a party last night while I was out, and Hannelore ended up getting smashed and possibly making out with one or more AnthroPCs. Upon realizing this, she has a panic attack.
/ Martin: So here I am in my filthy, disheveled apartment, trying to comfort a hyperventilating chick while Pintsize vomits cake frosting into the kitchen sink. / [The scene becomes a wider view, with the chalkboard in sight. Dora is comforting Martin who continues to looked tired.]
/ Dora: Poor boy! Is Hannelore okay?
/ Martin: Yeah, she popped a couple Atavan and passed out on my couch. Again. Then I shut Pintsize down and disassembled him so his chassis could soak in the sink, and I managed to scrape most of the frosting and God knows what else off of the walls. So yeah, I've had a kind of crappy afternoon thus far. / [Dora wraps her arms around Martin with a loving look. Raven enters the scne from the right.]
/ Dora: So I guess now would be a bad time to tell you that I used to be a man.
/ Martin: No, see, the way my life works is you'd wait until after we had sex to tell me that. You know, let me get the full afterglow going before you shatter my mind.
/ Raven: And then Pintsize would upload video of it to the internet! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=615# |
| Questionable Content: #616: Who knew, Volcanos | Marten: I wouldn't have figured you for a Islands fan, Raven.
/ Raven: Oh, I love them. Theyire my favorite kind of landmass. / Marten: I can't figure out if that was a clever play on words or if you're being serious.
/ Raven: Play on words? No, I really like them. All sunny and pleasant until KABLAM! The volcano erupts. / Marten: You're really not helping clarify matters. Are you talking about the band Islands?
/ Raven: I've neven heard of the Band Islands. Are they in the Caribbean?
/ Marten: No, they're from Montreal.
/ Raven: But Canada doesn't have tropical islands. / Marten: Help me out here, Dora.
/ Dora: No can do. I'm just waiting for the right moment to jump in with a peninsula joke.
/ Raven: Okay, now I'm confused. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=616 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Comic Title: Number 616: Who Knew, Volcanos
/ [[Martin, on the left, standing in front of the counter, is drinking a cup of coffee. Raven is on the right, behind the counter.]]
/ Martin: I wouldn't have figured you for an Islands fan, Raven.
/ Raven: Oh, I love them. They're my favorite kind of landmass. / [[Martin lowers his cup of coffee.]]
/ Martin: I can't figure out if that was a clever play on word or if you're being serious.
/ Raven: Play on words? No, I really like them. All sunny and pleasent until KABLAM! The volcano erupts! / [[The scene turns to show Martin and Raven from the side. Raven has a questioning look on her face.]]
/ Martin: You're really not helping clarify matters. Are you talking about the band Islands?
/ Raven: I've never heard of the Band Islands. Are they in the Caribbean?
/ Martin: No, they're from Montreal.
/ Raven: But Canada doesn't have any tropical islands. / [[The scene shifts back to looking at the counter again, and Dora enters from the right.]]
/ Martin: Help me out here, Dora.
/ Dora: No can do. I'm just waiting for the right moment to jump in with a peninsula joke.
/ Raven: Okay, now I'm confused. / [[The chalkboard reads:
/ Specials
/ Coffee with a scone in it
/ Scone with a cookie in it
/ Your ass with a hamster in it]] http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=616# |
| Number 617: Same Old Faye | [[Faye's house in Savannah]]
/ Mrs. Whittaker: More cornbread?
/ Faye: Ooh, no thanks. I'm stuffed.
/ Amanda: More for me! Nyom nyom nyom. / Mrs. Whittaker: Well honey it's been wonderful havin' you down to visit. We missed you.
/ Faye: I missed you guys too. I'm glad I came down.
/ Amanda: Yeah it's nice to occasionally be reminded that I'm the SANE daughter. / Faye: Amanda! That's no...it's not...you're so *sniffle* mean! After all I've buh-been through luh-lately, how c-could you...
/ Amanda: Whoa jeez Faye, I was just jokin' around. I didn't mean it, don't cry! / Faye: Shouldn't have let your guard down, sister dearest.
/ Amanda: Son of a bitch, OW! Right in the nipple!
/ Mrs. Whittaker: I know, I oughta discipline you for that, Faye, but damned if I didn't used to pull that trick on your uncle Danny all the time. He still falls for it! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=617 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Title: Number 617: Same Old Faye
/ [[Scene opens around the table in the Whitaker's kitchen. Dora is seated on the left, Mrs. Whitaker is standing wearing an apron and holding a pan in the center, and Amanda is seated on the right.]]
/ Mrs. Whitaker: More cornbread?
/ Faye: Oof, no thanks. I'm stuffed.
/ Amanda: More for me! Nyom nyom nyom. / [[Faye stands, holding her plate.]]
/ Mrs. Whitaker: Well honey it's been wonderful havin' you down to visit. We missed you.
/ Faye: I missed you guys too. I'm glad I came down.
/ Amanda: Yeah it's nice to occasionally be reminded that I'm the SANE daughter. / [[Faye standing, slumps over, looking sad. Amanda appears shocked.]]
/ Faye: Amanda! That's not... it's not... you're so *sniffle* mean! Aftera ll I've buh-been through luh-lately, how c-could you...
/ Amanda: Whoa jeez Faye, I was just jokin' around. I didn't mean it, don't cry! / [[Faye is still standing, now smiling, and finalizing the delivery of a punch. Mrs. Whitaker is in the right of the frame, smiling and Amanda's head is visible as she has fallen to the floor.]]
/ Faye: Shouldn't have let your guard down, sister dearest.
/ Amanda: Son of a btich, OW! Right in the nipple!
/ Mrs. Whitaker: I know I oughta discipline you for that, Faye, but damned if I didn't used to pull that trick on your uncle Danny all the time. He still falls for it! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=617# |
| Number 618: Lori Petty 4Lyfe | [[Coffee of Doom]]
/ Steve: Hey, there are the two lovebirds!
/ Marten: Hey Steve. / Dora: I wasn't aware we already qualified for "lovebird" status.
/ Steve: Oh totally. I mean look at you two, you even have the same plumage. / Dora: I could try and go back to my natural color, but nobody needs to see me with a shaved head. I'd look like Sinead O'Connor only pointier.
/ Steve: I dunno, Sinead O'Connor's pretty hot. Creepy and possibly insane, but hot.
/ Marten: I like your hair as it is now, but if you want to change it I don't mind. / Dora: Really? So you wouldn't mind if I gave myself a mohawk, or shaved everything off except for the bangs?
/ Marten: Are you kidding? It'd be like I was dating Tank Girl! I'd be living every fifteen year old comic book nerd's dream!
/ Steve: Speak for yourself. My dreams consisted of Mary Jane, Catwoman, and Jean Grey playing naked Twister with me as the Twister mat. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=618 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Number 618: Lori Petty 4Lyfe
/ [[ Coffee of Doom, interior ]] / Steve: Hey, there are the two lovebirds!
/ Marten: Hey Steve. / Dora: I wasn't aware we already qualified for "lovebird" status.
/ Steve: Oh totally. I mean look at you two, you even have the same plumage. / Dora: I could try and go back to my natural color, but nobody needs to see me with a shaved head. I'd look like Sinead O'Connor, only pointier.
/ Steve: I dunno, Sinead O'Connor's pretty hot. Creepy and possibly insane, but hot.
/ Marten: I like your hair as it is now, but if you want to change it, I don't mind. / Dora: Really? So you wouldn't mind if I gave myself a mohawk, or shaved everything off except for the bangs?
/ Marten: Are you kidding? It'd be like I was dating Tank Girl! I'd be living every fifteen year old comic book nerd's dream!
/ Steve: Speak for yourself. My dreams consisted of Mary Jane, Catwoman, and Jean Grey playing naked Twister with me as the Twister mat. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=618# |
| Number 619: Kick 'Em When They're Down | [[Coffee of Doom]]
/ Steve: There's Ellen! Hey sweetie, what took you so long?
/ Ellen: I've been babysitting Natasha all day. She drank too much last night and spent most of the morning with her head in the toilet. / Marten: Oh man, helpin' somebody else puke is no fun at all.
/ Ellen: No, she wasn't barfing, she literally spent the morning with her head in the toilet. I guess she passed out in there last night after I fell asleep.
/ Steve: Where was Amir for all of this? / Ellen: Amir was asleep in my bed.
/ Steve: Wait, what? Why was he in YOUR bed?
/ Ellen: Well, they were really drunk. I think he was just confused. He stumbled into my room at like three AM, flopped down on the bed, and started snoring. / Marten: THAT must have been awkward.
/ Ellen: Yeah, especially when I tried to wake him up and he muttered "not tonight Nat, I'm way to fuck to drunk" and patted my ass.
/ Steve: Two questions: Do you think he's still passed out, and is it considered unchivalrous to fight a man in his sleep? http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=619 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Steve: There's Ellen! Hey sweetie, what took you so long?
/ Ellen: I've been babysitting Natasha all day. She drank too much last night and spent most of the morning with her head in the toilet. / Marten: Oh Man, helpin' somebody else puke is no fun at all.
/ Ellen: No, she wasn't barfing, she literally spent the morning with her head in the toilet. I guess she passed out in there last night after I fell asleep.
/ Steve: Where was Amir for all of this? / Ellen: Amir was asleep in my bed.
/ Steve: Wait, what? Why was he in YOUR bed?
/ Ellen: Well, they were really drunk. I think he was just confused. He stumbled into my room at like three AM, flopped down on the bed, and started snoring. / Marten: THAT must have been awkward.
/ Ellen: Yeah, especially when I tried to wake him up and he muttered "not tonight Nat, I'm way too fuck to drunk" and patted my ass.
/ Steve: Two questions: Do you think he's still passed out, and is it considered unchivalrous to fight a man in his sleep? http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=619# |
| Number 620: Har Har | Marten: Ugh, I think I finally have to go back to work tomorrow.
/ Dora: If you hate your job so much, why don't you just quit and find a new one? / Marten: The thought of bein' unemployed is pretty scary.
/ Dora: There are other jobs out there, Marten. Surely you could find one that you enjoy more than your current gig. / Marten: I dunno, I don't have much in savings, and I got bills and rent to pay...
/ Dora: MARTEN. Weren't you just talking about not being so passive all the time? This is something you can change! Just show some stones and take the leap! You can do this.
/ Marten: You think so?
/ Dora: Absolutely. / Marten: Okay, but if I end up having to prostitute myself to make rent I'm blaming you.
/ Dora: Honey, if it comes to that you can work for me. I'm sure I could find a position for you.
/ Marten: Pun intended?
/ Dora: Absolutely. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=620 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Marten: Ugh, I think I finally have to go back to work tomorrow.
/ Dora: If you hate your job so much, why don't you just quit and find a new one? / Marten: The thought of bein' unemployed is pretty scary.
/ Dora: There are other jobs out there, Marten. Surely you could find one that you enjoy more than your current gig. / Marten: I dunno, I don't have much in savings, and I got bills and rent to pay...
/ Dora: MARTEN. Weren't you just talking about not being so passive all the time? This is something you can change! Just show some stones and take the leap! You can do this.
/ Marten: You think so?
/ Dora: Absolutely. / Marten: Okay, but if I end up having to prostitute myself to make rent I'm blaming you.
/ Dora: Honey, if it comes to that you can work for me. I'm sure I could find a position for you.
/ Marten: Pun intended?
/ Dora: Absolutely. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=620# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Number 621: But Is It Renewable?}} / [[Coffeehouse of Doom, Marten standing in "Hum" shirt on left, Dora sitting on countertop on right]]
/ Dora: So what time does Faye get back tomorrow?
/ Marten: Around noon. I gotta be at work so I can't meet her at the airport. / Dora: I'd go pick her up and save her the cab fare, but I feel like that might be kind of awkward.
/ Marten: I didn't know you had a car.
/ Dora: Yeah, even I forget sometimes. I don't use it much.
/ Raven: [[Enters from the right, behind Dora, wearing "Islands" T-shirt]] I can go get her! / [[Dora and Raven standing]]
/ Dora: That'd be awesome of you, Raven.
/ Raven: No problem! I'll sitll be clocked while I'm on the road, right? / [[all three]]
/ Dora: [[points thumb behind herself at Raven]] I can't decide whether it'd be cheaper to buy her a tank of gas or pay her regular hourly wage.
/ Marten: Unless her car runs on rainbows and unicorn farts, it'd probably be cheaper to pay her by the hour.
/ Raven: Is that what bio-diesel is made of? Awesome! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=621 |
| But Is It Renewable? | {{Comic No: 621}}
/ {{Comic Name: But Is It Renewable?}}
/ [[Panel 1: Marten and Dora chatting in Coffee of Doom]]
/ Dora: So what time does Faye get back tomorrow?
/ Marten: Around noon. I gotta be at work so I can't meet her at the airport.
/ [[Panel 2: Raven is now in the scene]]
/ Dora: I'd go pick her up and save her the cab fare, but I feel like that might be kind of awkward.
/ Marten: I didn't know you had a car.
/ Dora: Yea, even I forget sometimes. I don't use it much.
/ Raven: I can go get her!
/ [[Panel 3: Marten has dropped out of this scene]]
/ Dora: That'd be awesome of you, Raven.
/ Raven: No problem! I'll still be clocked in while I'm on the road, right?
/ [[Panel 4: All 3 of them again]]
/ Dora: I can't decide whether it'd be cheaper to buy her a tank of gas or pay her regular hourly wage.
/ Marten: Unless her car runs on rainbows and unicorn farts it'd probably be cheaper to pay her by the hour.
/ Raven: Is that what bio-diesel is made of? Awesome! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=621# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Dora: So do you want to stay over at my place again tonight? Marten: I'd Like to, but I do need to get some sleep before work tomorrow. My schedule's messed enough as it is. / Dora: Hmm, good point. We didn't actually sleep much last night. Besides, if we spend too much time together you'll get sick of me. Marten: Oh Right. Because I wasnt baisically spending all day hanging out in here with you before we were going out. Dora: You hush and let me be paranoid. Yes ma'am. / Dora: Well if you come over tonight I promise I'll be good and let you get some sleep. Marten: I think that would entail atleast one of us being in restraints. / Dora: I didn't think you were into that kinky stuff, but sure. Marten: Oh yeah, nothing gets me hotter than a chick in a straightjacket and a spit mask. Dora: You know, a padded room WOULD be pretty fun to have sex in. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=622 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[ Dora and Martin are cleaning up in the coffeeshop ]]
/ Dora: So do you wanna stay over at my place again tonight?
/ Martin: I'd like to, but I do need to get some sleep before work tomorrow. My schedule's messed up enough as it is. / Dora: Hmm, good point. We didn't actually sleep much last night. Besides, if we spend too much time together you'll get sick of me.
/ Martin: Oh right, because I wasn't basically spending all day hanging out in here with you before we were going out.
/ Dora: You hush and let me be paranoid.
/ Martin: Yes ma'am. / Dora: Well, if you come over tonight I promise I'll be good and let you get some sleep.
/ Martin: I think that would entail at least one of us being in restraints. / Dora: I didn't think you were into the kinky stuff, but sure.
/ Martin: Oh yeah, nothing gets me hotter than a chick in a straightjacket and a spit mask.
/ Dora: You know, a padded room probably WOULD be pretty fun to have sex in. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=622# |
| Number 623: A Tortured Psyche | [[Departure lane at the airport]]
/ Faye: Bye mom, bye sis. Love you!
/ Mrs. Whittaker: We love you too sweetie, have a safe flight.
/ Amanda: Try not to have any nervous breakdowns on the plane.
/ Faye: Thpppt. / [[On jetway to plane]]
/ Faye (thinking): Whew, this trip was just what I needed. Now it's back to Assy Chusetts to see Marty and Dora and everybody.
/ Faye (thinking): Man, I hope things aren't too weird when I get back. Oh, I should stop being so negative. How bad could it be? / [[In imagined Coffee of Doom. Marten has handlebar mustache, Dora is very pregnant]]
/ Marten: Hi Faye, Dora and I are getting married and moving to California! It's been nice knowing you!
/ Dora: We're having twins! You can keep Pintsize.
/ Flight Attendant: Ma'am? Excuse me, ma'am? / [[Back on jetway]]
/ Flight Attendant: Are you all right? We're almost done with the boarding process.
/ Faye: Huh? Oh sorry, I was having a completely implausible yet utterly horrific daydream. How many drinks are you legally allowed to serve me on this flight? http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=623 |
| A Tortured Psyche | {{Comic No: 623}}
/ {{Comic Name: A Tortured Psyche}}
/ [[Panel 1: Faye, her sister, Amanda, and her mother are at the airport Departures area, saying Goodbye to Faye]]
/ Faye: By mom, by sis. Love you!
/ Mrs. Whitaker: We love you too sweetie, have a safe flight.
/ Amanda: Try not to have any nervous breakdowns on the plane.
/ Faye: Thpppt.
/ [[Panel 2: Faye is walking through the airport]]
/ Faye [Thinking]: Whew, this trip was just what I needed. Now it's back to Assy Chusetts to see Marty and Dora and everybody.
/ Faye [Thinking]: Man, I hope things aren't too weird when I get back. Oh, I should stop being so negative. How bad could it be?
/ [[Panel 3: This scene is a display of Faye's inner thoughts. Faye, Marten, and Dora are inside of the Coffee Of Doom. Marten somehow grew a pirate-like mustache, and Dora is pregnant]]
/ Marten: Hi Faye, Dora and I are getting married and moving to California! It's been nice knowing you!
/ Dora: We're having twins! You can keep Pintsize.
/ An unknown voice chimes into the scene: Ma'am? Excuse me, ma'am?
/ [[Panel 4: Faye and a Flight Attendant are conversing at the gateway]]
/ Attendant: Are you all right? We're almost done with the boarding process.
/ Faye: Huh? Oh sorry, I was having a completely implausible yet utterly horrific daydream. How many drinks are you legally allowed to serve me on this flight? http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=623# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Marten: Hey Boss.
/ Boss: Marten! Long time no see! You're fired! / Marten: What? Why?!
/ Boss: Well okay, not so much "fired" as "laid off". We all are. The powers that be have decided to liquidate our entire division. I'd have told you last week, but I figured you deserved to find out in person. / Marten: You don't seem too perturbed by this.
/ Boss: Why should I be? I get severance pay. Gonna take a trip to Spain with the boyfriend, do the whole Ibiza thing, you know? / Marten: Do I get any severance pay?
/ Boss: Oh, of course you do! And because of your INSANELY IMPORTANT POSITION in the company, you also get Super Bowl tickets, a new BMW, and your very own pegasus! His name is Feathers and he eats the souls of your enemies.
/ Marten: So, no then.
/ Boss: You're lucky they didn't just take you out back and shoot you. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=624 |
| Number 624: Poor Kitten | [[Marten's Office, both Marten and Boss are smiling]]
/ Marten; Hey boss.
/ Marten's Boss; Marten! Long time no see! You're fired! / [[Close up with Hang in There! poster, Marten is shocked, Boss is smiling]]
/ Marten; What? Why?!
/ Marten's Boss; Well okay, not so much "fired" as "laid off". We all are. The powers that be have decided to liquidate our entire division. I'd have told you last week, but I figured you deserved to find out in person. / Marten; You don't seem too perturbed by this.
/ Marten's Boss; Why should I be? I get severence pay. Gonna take a trip to Spain with my boyfriend, do the whole Ibiza thing, you know? / Marten; Do I get any severence pay?
/ Marten's Boss; Oh, of COURSE you do! And because of your INSANELY IMPORTANT POSITION in the company, you also get Super Bowl tickets, a new BMW, and your very own pegasus! His name is Feathers and he eats the souls of your enemies.
/ Marten; So, no then.
/ Marten's Boss; You're lucky they didn't just take you out back and shoot you. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=624# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Faye: ...I can't believe that cop fell for the old cryin' trick. He didin't even write you up a warning!
/ Raven: My puppydog eyes could probably end wars. Speeding tickets are easy.
/ Dora: Faye? You're back! / Faye: Hey Dora! How have you been? How's the non-single life treatin' you?
/ Dora: Oh uh pretty good I guess. How was your trip home?
/ Faye: Aside from the rampant regious conservatism, the oppressive humidity, the allerigies and my mom asking me if I'd gained any weight, pretty good. / Dora: So, uh...
/ Faye: Ugh, look Dora. It doesn't have to be all awkward between us. Let's just get that shit out of the way and move on. You're dating Marty. I'm okay with that as long as I don't have to hear the messy details or watch you two make out.
/ Dora: Okay, no details, no PDA. Got it. / Faye: Seriously though is he a good kisser?
/ Dora: I thought you didn't want details.
/ Faye: I don't WANT details, but I have an overwhelming NEED for juicy gossip. Raven, go get the sodium pentothol and some rope.
/ Raven: Yes ma'am. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=625 |
| Numer 625: Every Coffee Shop Has Some / Panel 1 / Faye: ...I can't believe that cop fell for the old cryin' trick. He didn't even write you up a warning! / Raven: My puppydog eyes could probably end wars. Speeding tickets are easy. / Dora: Faye? You're back! / Panel 2 / Faye: Hey Dora! How have you been? How's the non-single life treatin' you? / Dora: Oh uh pretty good I guess. How was your trip home? / Faye: Aside from the rampant religious conservatism, the oppressive humidity, the allergies, and my mom asking me if I'd gained any weight, pretty good. / Panel 3 / Dora: So, uh... / Faye: Ugh, look Dora. It doesn't have to be all awkward between us. Let's just get that shit out of the way and move on. You're dating Marty. I'm okay with that as long as I don't have to hear the messy details or watch you two make out. / Dora: Okay, no details, no PDA. Got it. / Panel 4 / Faye: Seriously though is he a good kisser? / Dora: I thought you didn't want details. / Faye: I don't WANT details, but I have an overwhelming NEED for juicy gossip. Raven, go get the sodium pentothol and some rope. / Raven: Yes ma'am. | |
| Comic #626: Gonna Beat up a Printer with a Bat | Marten: Jesus, I can't believe I'm getting laid off. You know, the irony is I was thinking about quitting anyway--
/ Boss: And I'd have high-fived you on your way out the door. You had a shitty gig here, Marten. I know that. Now go take whatever you can carry out of the IT department and get on with your life.
/ Marten: Nah, I'd rather not take anything. I don't feel comfortable stealing. / Boss: Last month the board of directors voted to lay off our entire department so they could balance the budget. Part of that budget was a 20% pay-raise to everyone in upper management.
/ Marten: < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=626 |
| Gonna Beat Up A Printer With A Bat | {{Comic No: 625}}
/ {{Comic Title: Gonna Beat Up A Printer With A Bat}}
/ [[Panel 1: Marten and his boss, Scott, are standing in the office in front of some cubicles]]
/ Marten: Jesus, I can't believe I'm getting laid off. You know, the irony is I was thinking about quitting anyway-
/ Scott: And I'd have high-fived you on your way out the door. You had a shitty gig here, Marten. I know that. Now go take whatever you can carry out of the IT department and get on with your life!
/ Marten: I'd rather not take anything. I don't feel comfortable stealing.
/ [[Panel 2]]
/ Scott: Last month the board of directors voted to lay off our entire department so they could balance the budget. Part of that budget was a 20% pay-raise to everyone in upper management.
/ < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=626# |
| 627: Communism Has A Foot Fetish | Panel 1
/ Faye: Marty! I missed you!
/ Marten: Doof! I missed you too, Faye. / Panel 2
/ Faye: But what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at work?
/ Marten: Actually... I just got laid off.
/ Dora: What?! Are you serious? / Panel 3
/ Marten: Yep. I am officially unemployed. They axed the entire department I worked for.
/ Faye: Did you steal any office supplies on your way out? Revenge via missing paperclips?
/ Marten: Nah, I was going to but decided it'd be best just to get outta there. / Panel 4
/ Faye: Aw, boo! You're supposed to screw the Man! Screw him so hard he thinks he's a Lady!
/ Marten: I think the Man is more interested in capitalism than gender-play.
/ Dora: Plus he can only achieve an erection if your civil rights are being violated. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=627 |
| Questionable Content: 627 | [[Outside Coffee of Doom, Faye hugs Martin]]
/ Faye: Marty! I missed You!
/ Martin: Doof! I missed you too, Faye. / [[Inside Coffee of Doom]]
/ Faye: But what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at work?
/ Martin: Actually... I just got laid off.
/ Dora: What!? Are you serious? / Martin: Yep. I am officially unemployed. They axed the entired epartment I worked for.
/ Faye: Did you steal any ffice supplies on your way out? Revenge via missing paperclips?
/ Martin: Nah, I was going to but decided it'd be best just to get outta there. / Faye: Aw, boo! You're supposed to screw the Man! Screw him so hard he thinks he's a Lady!
/ Martin: I think the Man is more interested in capitalism than gender-play.
/ Dora: Plus he can only achieve an erection if your civil rights are being violated. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=627# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{title text: Number 628: Devastating Counter-Attack}} / [[Dora, Marty and Faye at the Coffee of Doom]]
/ Faye: So what are you gonna do now that you're jobless?
/ Marty: Well, look for another job I guess.
/ In the meantime I can collect unemployment and relax a little.
/ Maybe update my music blog more, spend more time working on the band...
/ Dora: As long as you keep shaving and showering regularly I have no objections. / Faye: Ugh, yes. Shaving especially.
/ Marty: Anyway, I better head home and get Pintsize put back together.
/ He should be all dried out by now.
/ Dora: See you later sweetie.
/ Do you want a broom handle to poke Hannelore with if she's still asleep on your couch?
/ Marty: Nah, I've got one at the apartment.
/ See you later, girls. / [[Faye and Dora]]
/ Faye: Poor boy, He's had quite the dramatic couple of weeks.
/ Dora: Yeah, I've been trying my best to help alleviate some of it,
/ but I don't think I'm doing a very good job.
/ Faye: The trick is to relax your throat and suppress the gag reflex. / Dora: I didn't mean THAT way, smartass.
/ And for your information, I'm quite good at ignoring the gag reflex when the situation requires it.
/ Faye: Hurkth! Oh god, that mental image triggered MY gag reflex! Hoisted by my own petard! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=628 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Number 628: Devistating Counter-Attack}} / [[Faye, Marten, and Dora stand in the coffee shop]]
/ Faye: So what are you gonna do now that you're jobless?
/ Marten: Well, look for another job I guess. In the meantime I can collect unemployment and relax a little. Maybe update my music blog more, spend mor time working on the band...
/ Dora: As long as you keep shaving and showering regularly I have no objections. / Faye: Ugh, yes. Shaving especially.
/ Marten: Anyway, I beter head home and get Pintsize put back together. He should be all dried out by now.
/ Dora: See you later sweetie. Do you want a broom handle to poke Hannelore with if she's still asleep on your couch?
/ Marten: Nah, I've got one at the apartment. See you later, girls. / [[Marten has left the coffee shop]]
/ Faye: Poor boy. He's had quite the dramatic couple of weeks.
/ Dora: Yeah, I've been trying to alleviate some of it, but I don't think I'm doing a very good job.
/ Faye: The trick is to relay your throat muscles and suppress the gag reflex. / Dora: I didn't mean THAT way, smartass. And for your information, I'm quite good at ignoring the gag reflex when the situation requires it.
/ Faye: http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=628# |
| Number 629: My G5 Does The Same Thing | [[Marten and Faye's Apartment]]
/ Pintsize: SALUTATIONS MARTEN! IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN AFTER YOU'VE BEEN GONE ALL DAY HOW WAS WORK DID YOU GO TO THE COFFEE SHOP LIKE YOU USUALLY DO BECAUSE I KNOW YOU ENJOY HANGING OUT WITH FAYE AND DORA AND RAVEN
/ Marten: Uh, Pintsize? Have you been eating coffee grounds again? / Hannelore: I had some spare RAM lying around in my apartment and thought it'd be nice to give to him. He's been out of control ever since I installed it! I'm sorry!
/ Pintsize: MAN YOU KNOW THE BEST THING ABOUT NEW RAM IS THE WAY THE CONNECTORS KIND OF TINGLE WHEN YOU INSTALL IT HAVE YOU EVER LICKED A 9-VOLT BATTERY IT'S KIND OF LIKE THAT ONLY SEXIER MAN I BET I COULD WRESTLE A GOAT RIGHT NOW LET'S GO TO THE PETTING ZOO
/ Marten: It's okay, I know how to fix this. / < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=629 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Pintsize: Salutations Marten It's good to see you again after you've been gone all day how was work did you go to the coffee shop like you usually do because I know you enjoy hanging out with Faye and Dora and Raven
/ Marten: Uh, Pintsize? Have you been eating coffee grounds again? / Hannelore: I had some spare RAM lying around in my apartment and thought it'd be nice to give it to him. He's been out of control since I installed it! I'm sorry!
/ Pintsize: Man you know the best thing about new RAM is the way the connectors kind of tingle when you install it have you ever licked a 9-volt battery it's kind of like that only sexier man I bet I could wrestle a goat right now let's go to the petting zoo
/ Marten: It's okay. I know how to fix this. / [[Marten whumps Pintsize on the head, RAM flies out of his mouth]]
/ < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=629# |
| 630: I Couldn't Fit Them In Panel, Sorry | 630: I Couldn't Fit Them In Panel, Sorry / PANEL 1 / Marten: Hey Faye, I'm back and I brought a Hannelore with me.
/ Faye: Did you BRING her, or did she just follow you all the way here? You've really got to stop adopting stray ladies, Marty. / PANEL 2 / Hannelore: Heheh yeah I guess I am kind of a stray, huh. I can- I can just go, I don't mean to be a fifth wheel.
/ Faye: Oh come on, don't just roll over like that! Fire back! Coffee of Doom is a constant fencing match, only instead of epees we use smartassery! / PANEL 3 / Hannelore: But I'm not that good at being a smartass.
/ Faye: Sheesh, okay. I'll go easy on you, but I can't speak for the other girls. / PANEL 4 / Raven: Hey, I like your shoes! Where'd you get them?
/ Hannelore: Uh, thanks? I bought them online.
/ Raven: Wow, you can buy shoes on the INTERNET? I totally didn't know that!
/ Hannelore: Faye, is she being sarcastic?
/ Faye: Your guess is as good as mine. Raven is the Drunken Master of ridicule. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=630 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Hannelore, Marten and Faye standing inside Coffee of Doom by the front window]]
/ Marten: Hey Faye, I'm back and I brought a Hannelore with me.
/ Faye: Did you BRING her, or did she just follow you all the way here? You've really got to stop adopting stray ladies, Marty. / Hannelore: Heheh yeah I guess I am kind of a stray, huh? I can-I can just go, I don't mean to be a fifth wheel.
/ Faye: Oh come on, don't just roll over like that! Fire back! Coffee of Doom is a constant fencing match, only instead of epees we use smartassery! / Hannelore: But I'm not that good at being a smartass.
/ Faye: Sheesh, okay. I'll go easy on you, but I can't speak for the other girls. / Raven: Hey, I like your shoes! Where'd you get them?
/ Hannelore: Uh, thanks? I bought them online!
/ Raven: Wow, you can buy SHOES on the INTERNET? I totally didn't know that!
/ Hannelore: Faye, is she being sarcastic?
/ Faye: Your guess is as good as mine. Raven is the Drunken Master of ridicule. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=630# |
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