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| Questionable Content | TITLE BAR: Number 421: Faye Shot JR / PANEL 1 / Faye: Ooh, nice tube top.
/ Dora: You really like it? I thought you'd be scandalized by the bare shoulders.
/ Faye: It doesn't melt my eyes like the other shirt did, so I'm not going to complain. / PANEL 2 / Dora: So I've been thinking about redecorating in here. Your thoughts?
/ Faye: Sounds good to me. We could use a change from this icky orangey flesh-tone paint. / PANEL 3 / Dora: I'm glad you agree! Raven's at the hardware store now picking up the paint.
/ Faye: You entrusted Raven with picking out paint colors? Did you slip in the shower this morning and hit your head? / PANEL 4 / Dora: Oh have a little faith, Faye. Raven was an interior design student in school. I'm sure it'll be fine.
/ Faye: No no no, I must have hit my head in the shower this morning. This is all just a hallucination. I'm in a coma at the hospital and Marten is debating whether it would be ethical to feel me up while I'm unconscious.
/ Dora: Oh man, he should totally do it. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=421 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Faye: Ooh, nice tube top.
/ Dora: You really like it? I thought you'd be scandalized by the bare shoulders.
/ Faye: It doesn't melt my eyes like the other shirt did, so I'm not going to complain. / Dora: So I've been thinking about redecorating in here. Your thoughts?
/ Faye: Sounds good to me. We could use a change from this icky orangey flesh-tone paint. / Dora: I'm glad you agree! Raven's at the hardware store now picking up the paint.
/ Faye: You entrusted Raven with picking out paint colors? Did you slip in the shower this morning and hit your head? / Dora: Oh have a little faith, Faye. Raven was an interior design student in school. I'm sure it'll be fine.
/ Faye: No no no, I must have hit my head in the shower this morning. This is all just a hallucination. I'm in a coma at the hospital and Marten is debating whether it would be ethical to feel me up while I'm unconscious.
/ Dora: Oh man, he should totally do it. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=421# |
| Number 422: Seriously It Is Really Creepy | [[Walking into the Coffee of Doom with cans of paint]]
/ Raven: Enngh. Hey guys, could you help me with all this paint?
/ Dora: Sure! What colors did you decide on? / Raven: Well I went with a warm orange tone for the walls to make it feel nice and cozy in here, and got some dark mahogany and chocolate stains for the counters and countertops.
/ Dora: I like it!
/ Faye: I must admit, I'm impressed at your initiative, Raven. Let's get the rollers and dropcloth out and start on the walls! / Dora: I didn't think you'd be this keen on manual labor, Faye.
/ Faye: I like painting, and after a while you get high enough from the fumes that you don't notice how exhausting it is.
/ Raven: Aw crappin' crap craps! I *knew* there was something I forgot! / Dora: Don't tell me you forgot to get any actual painting supplies.
/ Raven: I got distracted by all the different colors to choose from! Also the sales guy who helped me was, like, TOTALLY rugged.
/ Faye: Are we talking Viggo Mortensen rugged or creepy Metrosexual Brawny commerciala rugged?
/ [[Note on cash register reads: Tip or Die]] http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=422 |
| Number 422: Seriously It Is Really Creepy | [[Scene: Coffee of Doom.]]
/ Raven: Enngh. Hey guys, could you help me with all this paint?
/ Dora: Sure! What colors did you decide on? / Raven:Well I went with a warm orange tone for the walls to make it feel nice and cozy in here, and got some dark mahogany and chocolate stains for the counters and countertops.
/ Dora: I like it!
/ Faye: I must admit, I'm impressed at your initiative, Raven. Let's get the rollers and dropcloth out and start on the walls! / Dora: I didn't think you'd be this keen on manual labor, Faye.
/ Faye: I like painting, and after a while you get high enough from the fumes that you don't notice how exhausting it is.
/ Raven: Aw crappin' crap guys! I knew there was something I forgot! / Dora: Don't tell me you forgot to get any actual painting supplies.
/ Raven: I got distracted by all the different colors to choose from! Also the sales guy who helped me was, like, TOTALLY rugged.
/ Faye: Are we talking Viggo Mortensen rugged or creepy metrosexual Brawny commercial rugged? http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=422# |
| Number 423: Mneep Mneep | [[Outside The Home Outpost]]
/ Faye: I like your car, Raven. It's very cute. {{a new Volkswagen Beetle}}
/ Raven: Thanks! My parents got it for me as a graduation present.
/ < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=423 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Faye: I like your car, Raven. It's very cute.
/ Raven: Thanks! My parents got it for me as a graduation present. / Faye: Heh. All my mom got me was a swift kick in the rear and an employment application for Wal-Mart.
/ Raven: Eww, I had to work there one summer. It sucked balls.
/ Faye: Yeah, for me it was either stick around Savannah and do that or hightail it up here and see what cards life dealt me. / Faye: What about you? Are you from this area originally?
/ Raven: Actually no, my family is from Houston, Texas. Dad's a rocket scientist and mom's a nuclear physicist. / Faye: Well, you know what they say - the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, unless you build an orbital velocity cannon and fire it into s pace.
/ Raven: Hmm. Dad suggested that after I told them I wanted to go to school for interior design. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=423# |
| Number 424: Her favorite sound | [[At the Coffee of Doom]]
/ Dora: Back already? That was fast.
/ Faye: I shop like Puritans have sex -- in and out in three minutes and only for the procreation of children.
/ Raven: I prefer to shop in the reverse cowgirl position. / Faye: My my, a gem of wit from our cognitive slagheap! Will wonders never cease?
/ Raven: Actually if I'm doin' it with a guy regular cowgirli is way more fun. Looking at the boy's feet is boring.
/ Dora: Just don't ever attempt a backside 360 cowgirl. It'll land you in the hospital with a broken pelvis. / Faye: Anyways buckarettes, what's the plan? We closin' shop to paint?
/ Dora: Nah, might as well stay open. It's always slow this time of day anyhow.
/ Raven: Do you want me to help paint or work the register? / Faye: I want you to stand by the door and go "BEEP" every time a customer walks in, so one of us can take care of them. / Raven: Really? Hee, that sounds like fun! BEEP! Hahaha!
/ Dora: I'd tell you not to be mean to Raven like that but she seems so genuinely pleased with the idea. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=424 |
| Number 425 : Best Allliteration Thus Far | [[After repainting the Coffee of Doom]]
/ Dora: I like that color, don't you?
/ Faye: Yeah, it's pretty hot. What else do you want to do with the place?
/ Dora: Oh, I thought we could put up more pictures on the walls, maybe some more shelving behind the counter, a few fake ass plants here and there... / Faye: Roman columns framing the entrance, a fountain featuring the god Priapus in the middle of the room, hirsute men lounging in front of the espresso machine...
/ Dora: Ugh, no thanks. I prefer my sculpture free of boners and my men free of back hair. / Marten: Hey girls, I didn't know you were planning to remodel today.
/ Dora: Oh, it was sort of a spur of the moment thing. Do you like it?
/ Faye: Eek! Raven, I'm not wearing a bra! Why didn't you beep to let me know a BOY was coming in?! / Dora: Oh please, Faye. Are you saying he's never seen you without a brassiere on? You LIVE together!
/ Faye: Just because you'll flash your tits at the drop of a hat doesn't mean I can't be protective of my pendulous parts.
/ Marten: Here, I'll take off my bra too. It'll be fair!
/ Raven: I know it's all fashionable for dudes to wear girl pants now but I think that's taking the trend a little far. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=425 |
| Questionable Content | TITLE BAR: Number 426: Masking Tape! / PANEL 1 / Raven: Gack, the paint fumes are getting pretty thick in here.
/ Dora: Yeah, we've done enough for one day. Let's pack it in and worry about the counters tomorrow. / PANEL 2 / Faye: Where do you plan on getting the various knick-knacks you're thinking of?
/ Dora: I know a couple good thrift and antique stores here in town. I'll scout around tomorrow morning while you and Raven paint and see what comes up.
/ Faye: Aw boo, I wanna go shopping! Why do I have to get stuck painting all day? / PANEL 3 / Dora: Because you're better at it than me, and because I'm the boss and I say so.
/ Faye: That just makes you sound like a cross-dressing Bruce Springsteen impersonator.
/ Marten: Heh, "available for weddings, parties, bar and bat mitzvahs and more!" / PANEL 4 / Dora: Hey, that'd be a pretty good gig. I look damn hot with a low-slung Telecaster around my shoulder.
/ Marten: Should we be worried about Raven?
/ Faye: Either the paint fumes finally gave her brain damange or she's speaking in tongues. Someone call a Christian television station, we can make a killing either way.
/ Raven: Habble babbly gabble nurr http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=426 |
| Number 427: You Gotta Fight For Your Right | [[walking up the stairs to their new apartment]]
/ Faye: You're *sure* you couldn't see my nipply bits through this tank top?
/ Marten: For the fiftieth time, *yes*. / [[Walking inside]]
/ Faye: Well, good, becuase they are not for your eyes to... what the hell? Marten: Pintsize, what's with all the other AnthroPCs in here?
/ Pintsize: We're having a housewarming party! Care for a drink? / Faye: I'm not sure where they got the martini glasses but I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth.
/ Marten: How did they all get here? Did their owners drop them off? Have you been giving our address out to strangers again?
/ Pintsize: Nah, most of 'em just used the "I'm not feeling well, I think I better go get some tech support" excuse and snuck over. / Marten: I guess that's pretty clever -- wait a minute, you've used that line on me like six times! Just where have you been going?!
/ Pintsize: Sorry, can't tell you. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
/ Faye: I *thought* that was you on that World Poker Tour episode! Was that chick with a stripper or a Playboy bunny? She was way hot. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=427 |
| Number 428: Accostation | Marten: I'm gonna go use the bathroom.
/ Faye: Come back soon, I'm not sure I want to be alone in this crowd. / Green AnthroPC: Hi there.
/ Faye: Hi.
/ Green AnthroPC: Come here often?
/ Faye: I live here. / Yellow AnthroPC: Dude you're getting totally shot down hee. Give it a rest.
/ Green AnthroPC: Yeah, I shoulda known. She doesn't look like the type who'd put out easy anyway.
/ Faye: Oh, that is IT, I am going to commit some seriously egregious violence upn you two momentarily. {{Faye is "pushing up her sleeve" although she still has on only a tank top}} / Yellow AnthroPC: Not like Randy's owner then, huh? Haha!
/ Green AnthroPC: Haha yeah that chick is a TOTAL slut. I think half the dudes here have checked her inbox, if you know what I mean.
/ Faye: Okay I am more creeped out by this conversation than by anything else ever.
/ Marten: Psh, you got off easy. These two were makin' out in the shower while I was on the toilet.
/ Blue AnthroPC: I thought you said the door was locked!
/ Pink AnthroPC: How am I supposed to lock a door when I'm too short to reach the knob? http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=428 |
| Number 428: Accostation | [[Pintsize threw a party, so there are many AnthroPCs in the appartment.]]
/ Marten: I'm gonna go use the bathroom.
/ Faye: Come back soon, I'm not sure I want to be alone in this crowd. / Green AnthroPC: Hi there.
/ Faye: Hello.
/ Green AnthroPC: Come here often?
/ Faye: I live here. / Yellow AnthroPC: Dude you're getting totally shot down here. Give it a rest.
/ Green AnthroPC: Yeah, I shoulda known. She doesn't look like the type who'd put out easy anyway.
/ Faye: Oh that is IT, I am going to commit some seriously egregious violence upon you two momentarily. / Yellow AnthroPC: Not like Randy's owner then, huh? Haha!
/ Green AnthroPC: Hahah yeah that chick is a TOTAL slut. I think half the dudes here have checked her inbox, if you know what I mean.
/ Faye: OKay I am more creeped out by this conversation than by anything else ever.
/ [[Marten is holding a blue AnthroPC and a pink AnthroPC]]
/ Marten: Psh, you got off easy. These two were makin' out in the shower while I was on the toilet.
/ Blue AnthroPC: I thought you said the door was locked!
/ Pink AnthroPC: How am I supposed to lock a door when I'm too short to reach the knob? http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=428# |
| Number 429: I Tried So Hard | [[In the new apartment]]
/ Marten: Okay, everybody out. Party's over.
/ Faye: Go back to your homes! Take youre robo-debauchery with you!
/ Yellow AnthroPC: Screw you, pigs! Fuck tha police!
/ Green AnthroPC: Eh, it was lame in here anyway. Total sausage-fest.
/ White AnthroPC: But...I'm female... / Marten: From now on, you ask permission before inviting a dozen strange robots into this apartment, understand?
/ Pintsize: Psh, whatever DAD. You're not the boss of me. / Marten: Actually, I am. I pay the electric bill. I am responsible for your current existence.
/ Pinstsize: Yeah, so? It's not like that ever stopped a suburban teenager from "rebelling" against his "oppressive" parents. / Marten: Point taken, but dads can't pick their kids up by the head and shut them off without going to jail for a very long time.
/ Faye: And if you REALLY act up, we'll put you in a foster home via eBay.
/ Pintsize: I am full of impotent, adolescent rage! Suddenly Linkin Park songs make sense to me! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=429 |
| 429: I Tried So Hard | Marten: Okay, everybody out. Party’s over.
/ Faye: Go back to your homes! Take your robo-debauchery with you!
/ Yellow AnthroPC: Screw you, pigs! Fuck tha police!
/ Brown AnthroPC: Eh, it was lame in here anyway. Total sausage-fest.
/ White AnthroPC: But...I’m female... / Marten: From now on, you ask permission before inviting a dozen strange robots into this apartment, understood?
/ Pintsize: Psh, whatever DAD. You’re not the boss of me. / Marten: Actually, I am. I pay the electric bill. I am responsible for your current existence.
/ Pintsize: Yeah, so? It’s not like that ever stopped a suburban teenager from “rebelling” against his “oppressive” parents. / Marten: Point taken, but dads can’t pick up their kids by the head and shut them off without going to jail for a very long time.
/ Faye: And if you REALLY act up, we’ll put you in a foster home via eBay.
/ Pintsize: I am full of impotent, adolescent rage! Suddenly Linkin Park songs make sense to me! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=429# |
| Questionable Content | TITLE BAR: Number 430: Another Gift Horse / Pintsize: Hey Faye, before you go to bed- this is for you.
/ Faye: If this is some sort of practical joke you are in for a lesson in shaken-baby syndrome. / Faye: What the...This is like four hundred dollars! Did you rob a convenience store while we were at work today?!
/ Pintsize: Nope, I just asked everybody who came to my party to bring a small donation. I figured you could use it to finish furnishing your bedroom. / Faye: I...I don't know what to say.
/ Pintsize: You don't have to say anything. Go out and buy a dresser and stuff tomorrow. / Faye: No, I mean I really don't know what to say. I feel ask though I should have some snarky, distrustful comment to make, but I honestly can't think of one.
/ Marten: I could make some sort of obvious "who are you and what have you done with the real Pintsize" crack, but it'd just cheapen the moment.
/ Pintsize: Spontaneous kindness is to hipsters as high beams are to deer. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=430 |
| Number 430: Another Gift Horse | [[At Marten and Faye's apartment]]
/ Pintsize: Hey Faye, before you go to bed- this is for you
/ Faye: If this is some sort of practical joke you are in for a lesson in shaken-baby syndrome. / Faye: What the...This is like four hundred dollars! Did you rob a convenience store while we were at work today?!
/ Pintsize: Nope, I just asked everybody who came to my party to bring a small donation. I figured you could use it to finish furnishing your bedroom. / Faye: I...I don't know what to say.
/ Pintsize: You don't have to say anything. Go out and buy a dresser and stuff tomorrow. / Faye: No, I mean I really don't know what to say. I feel as though I should have some snarky, distrustful comment to make, but I honestly can't think of one.
/ Marten: I could make some sort of obvious "who are you and what have you done with the real Pintsize" crack, but it'd just cheapen the moment.
/ Pintsize: Spontaneous kindness is to hipsters as high beams are to deer. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=430# |
| Questionable Content by J. Jacques: Number 431: Mama I'm comin' Home | {{Title: Number 431: Mama I'm comin' Home}} / [[Panel 1: Marten and Faye in Marten's apartment, kitchen]]
/ Marten: [[in WEBCEST T-shirt, holding coffee mug]] Ready for another exciting day of painting?
/ Faye: [[In Bear Monster T-shirt and red do-rag]] Ugh, don't remind me. What are your plans?
/ Marten: Oh you know, the usual. Office bitchery, considering the pros and cons of unemployment. / [[Panel 2: Pull back to include "Explosions in the Flock" poster.]]
/ < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=431 |
| Questionable Content Number 432: School's out For Ever | {{Title: Number 432: School's out For Ever}} / [[Panel 1: Marten and his mother in Marten's apartment. Door with sign, "DANGER Outside World Lies Beyond This Door". "Explosions In The Flock" poster.]]
/ Marten: [[in WEBCEST T-Shirt]] I don't mean to be rude, but what exactly are you doing here, mom?
/ Miss Reed: I've got a couple days in town for a business convention and I thought I'd spend one of them with my favorite son.
/ Marten: I'm your only son.
/ Miss Reed: Well, technically speaking yes, but a number of my clients refer to me as "mommy". / [[Panel 2: same]]
/ Marten: [[eyes averted in embarrassment]] Look, I'd love to hang out with you, I mean I know it's been forever since I've been home, but I have to go to work in a couple minutes.
/ Miss Reed: Nonsense! Let me have your phone and the number for where you work. / [[Panel 3: POV rotates to show Miss Reed in foreground, Marten in background in front of arched window.]]
/ Miss Reed: [[to telephone]] Hello, is this Marten Reed's superior? Yes, this is his mother speaking, how do you do. Well, it seems that my poor son has come down with a nasty case of food poisoning and won't be able to make it in to work.
/ [[Marten stands obliquely, silent with quizzical expression.]]
/ Miss Reed: [[to telephone]] Yes, he had some questionable shellfish last night. The doctors say he'll be out of commission for the rest of the week, so I'm in town to keep an eye on him. Thank you, I'll send him your good wishes. / [[Panel 4. Faye appears with Marten and Miss Reed]]
/ Marten: So not only do you get me out of work, you get me out of work for the next WEEK? Why couldn't you have done that for me back in school?
/ Miss Reed: I would have, honey, but one run-in with Child Services after that time you brought my bondage gear with you to Show and Tell was enough for me.
/ Faye: Man, the only time my mom ever covered for me like that was when she told dad I had only been caught going to second base with Richie Wilson in dad's car. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=432 |
| Questionable Content Number 433: Ye Olde Backstorey | {{Title: Number 433: Ye Olde Backstorey}} / [[Panel 1: Marten's apartment. Mogwai poster. Faye on couch with Bear monster T-shirt and red do-rag for painting. Miss Reed standing.]]
/ Miss Reed: So, you must be the infamous Faye! Marty's told me all about you.
/ Faye: Oh uh hopefully he left out the bad stuff at least. Nice to meet you, Mrs. Reed. / [[Panel 2: Same]]
/ Miss Reed: [[Eyes averted in mild discomfiture]] I prefer Miss Reed, actually. Seeing as I'm not married anymore and all.
/ Faye: Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't think about that.
/ Miss Reed: No offense taken. / [[Panel 3: View widens to include Marten on couch in WEBCEST T-shirt]]
/ Faye: How come you never told me your parents were divorced?
/ Marten: I dunno, it never really came up in conversation.
/ Miss Reed: Marty doesn't like to talk about it. It was a difficult time. Imagine being a ten year old boy and discovering that not only are your mother and father getting a divorce, but your father has just come out of the closet about his homosexuality. / [[Panel 4: Same, a little closer]]
/ Marten: [[eyes averted]] Well the gay thing wasn't really much of a shock.
/ Miss Reed: Why not? It was certainly news to me at the time.
/ Marten: Did you ever rummage through dad's sock drawer? "Marine Man-Wich Volumes 1 Through 4" was a pretty big tipoff.
/ Miss Reed: You know, I always wondered why he insisted on folding and arranging his socks himself. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=433 |
| Questionable Content: Number 433: Ye Olde Backstorey | Veronica: So, you must be the infamous Faye! Marty's told me all about you.
/ Faye: Oh uh hopefully he left out the bad stuff at least. Nice to meet you, Mrs. Reed. / Veronica: I prefer Miss Reed, actually. Seeing as I'm not married anymore and all.
/ Faye: Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't think about that.
/ Veronia: No offense taken. / Faye: How come you never told me your parents were divorced?
/ Marten: I dunno, it never really came up in conversation.
/ Veronica: Marty doesn't like to talk about it. It was a difficult time. Imagine being a ten year old boy and discovering that not only are your mother and father getting a divorce, but your father has just come out of the closet about his homosexuality. / Marten: Well the gay thing wasn't really much of a shock.
/ Veronica: Why not? It was certainly news to me at the time.
/ Marten: Did you ever rummage through dad's sock drawer? "Marine Man-Wich Volumes 1 through 4" was a pretty big tipoff.
/ Veronica: You know, I always wondered why he insisted on folding and arranging his socks himself. / {{title text: Number 433: Ye Olde Backstorey}} http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=433# |
| Questionable Content Number 434: Ice Ice Baby | {{Title: Number 434: Ice Ice Baby}} / [[Marten's apartment, Faye, Marten and Miss Reed]]
/ Faye: Do you keep in contact with your dad at all?
/ Marten: Oh yeah, of course.
/ Miss Reed: Henry and I are still friends. He actually has a nightclub down in Miami now. / [[Closeup on Faye preceding and listening to Miss Reed going downstairs]]
/ Miss Reed: I suppose it was really more a marriage of convenience anyway. Henry and I were lonely, and we both wanted a family. We got along well so it seemed like the right thing to do, but I think we make better friends and parents than husband and wife. / [[Exterior of apartment building, Marten, Faye, and Miss Reed walking by.]]
/ Miss Reed: Henry's been seeing a wonderful fellow named Marcel for the last few years. They make a better couple than he and I ever did.
/ Marten: While you, meanwhile, run around dating guys half your age. / [[Marten, Faye, and Miss Reed walking past another building]]
/ Miss Reed: Dating? Oh heavens no! I just have lots and lots of casual sex. It's all the fun of dating without any of the fuss.
/ Marten: Mom I know I'm an adult now and all but there are really limits to how candid you should be with your children.
/ Miss Reed: Oh hush, just because you aren't getting any tail doesn't mean I can't talk about it.
/ Faye: Man, that is colder than a penguin's third nipple. I like your mom, Marty. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=434 |
| Questionable Content Number 435: Jumping On The Bandwagon | {{Title: Number 435: Jumping On The Bandwagon}} / [[Faye and Miss Reed entering Coffee of Doom. Zombie monkey poster on wall. Faye in Bear monster T-shirt and do-rag for painting.]]
/ Faye: So this is where I work, and where Marten spends most of his time when he's not at his job.
/ Miss Reed: "Coffee of Doom"? I like the name. / [[Faye, Miss Reed, and Dora in front of Coffee of Doom's blackboard (blank)]]
/ Faye: This is my boss, Dora. Dora, say hello to Marten's mom.
/ Dora: Hi, nice to meeeeee... Oh my God, are you Veronica Vance? You are!
/ Miss Reed: Oh drat, I've been recognized, pseudonym and all. Please don't alert the paparazzi. / [[Coffee of Doom, Faye, Dora and Miss Reed, with front window in background]]
/ Faye: Wait, who's Veronica Vance? Her name is Ms. Reed.{{sic}}
/ Dora: Veronica Vance was the QUEEN of bondage and fetish erotica for like fifteen years. She was like a nouveau Bettie Page.{{sic, cf. Betty Page}}
/ Marten's mom: You flatter me. I did have a good time and it paid for Marty's college tuition. / [[Coffee of doom, Dora talking to Miss Reed, Marten in Webcest T-shirt, Faye.]]
/ Dora: Wow, this is actually kinda awkward. Normally I'd totally be fangirling out on you, but I keep thinking "oh man, I've seen Marten's mom naked!"
/ Miss Reed: Well, never totally nude. I usually wore pasties or a leather-
/ Marten: [[hands over ears]] NA NAAA NA NA NA NA NA NA NAAAAAA, NA NA NA NA NA NAAAAAAAAAAAA
/ Faye: Dammit Marten, now the Katamari Damaci theme will be stuck in my head all day. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=435 |
| Questionable Content Number 436: I Am Your Father | {{Title: Number 436: I Am Your Father}} / [[Coffee of Doom. Miss Reed, Dora, and Faye]]
/ Miss Reed: You know, you really are the spitting image of me when I was younger.
/ Dora: Aw, no way. You were way better-looking than I am. / [[Scene shift to include Marten, exclude Faye]]
/ Marten: [[Pointing finger of wiseassitude]] You didn't have any kids out of wedlock, did you mom? Because this would be some serious Luke and Leiea Skywalker shit right here.
/ [[Miss Reed looks a little startled]]
/ Dora: Marten, that's awful! / [[Scene tightens on Martin and Dora looking expectantly at Miss Reed, who is touching her chin in contemplation.]] / [[Marten, Miss Reed, Dora, and Faye]]
/ Marten: [[Pointing accusing finger]] I do not like what your thoughtful silence portends.
/ Miss Reed: [[Eyes toward Marten]] Well, it's just that the last couple years before I got pregnant with you are a bit of a blur.
/ Dora: [[Eyes aside toward Faye]] I dunno. I can't decide if that would be awesome or awful.
/ Faye: [[Hand on cheek in shock]] Do you think she's joking? http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=436 |
| Number 436: I Am Your Father | Ms. Reed: You know, you really are the spitting image of me when I was younger.
/ Dora: Aw, no way. You were way better-looking than I am. / Marten: You didn't have any kids out of wedlock, did you mom? Because this would be some serious Luke and Leiea Skywalker shit right here.
/ Dora: Marten, that's awful! / [[Ms. Reed pauses reflectively]] / Marten: I do not like what your thoughtful silence portends.
/ Ms. Reed: Well, it's just that the last couple years before I got pregnant with you are a bit of a blur.
/ Faye: Do you think she's joking?
/ Dora: I dunno. I can't decide if that would be awesome or awful. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=436# |
| Questionable Content Number 437: Tit for Tat | {{Number 437: Tit for Tat}} / [[Marten, Miss Reed, and Dora sitting at table in Coffee of Doom]]
/ Miss Reed: How many times do I have to swear it? I promise I don't have any illegitimate children. There is no possible way you two could be related.
/ Dora: Especially since I have my own mom and dad and I know I wasan't adopted.
/ Marten: Good to know. If there's a nuclear war and we're the last two people left, Dora and I can repopulate. / [[The three stand up, Marten bussing Dora's mug. On wall in background is a sign, "Coffee Grounds Only/because they make good compost"]{{I think that's what it says}}
/ Marten: [[Looking like he put his foot in his mouth]] I mean, not that you'd have to be the last girl on Earth, I mean I'm not trying to get you to...uh...I-
/ Dora: Has he always been this inept with the ladies?
/ Miss Reed: I don't I don't know if I'd call it "inept". That whole "bumbling sweetheart" thing really works with some girls. It's how his dad got me in the sack, anyway. / [[Closeup on Marten and Miss Reed]]
/ Marten: And that ended in a divorce and now dad's gay. Clearly I have a lot to look forward to.
/ Miss Reed: Oh don't be so pessimistic. Just because things didn't work out for us is no reason to give up hope for yourself. / [[Shot widens to include Dora]]
/ Marten: Oh I know that, I was just jokin' around.
/ Miss Reed: So was I. You're thoroughly screwed.
/ Dora: I'd say that's the exact opposite of Marten's problem. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=437 |
| Number 438: Spin Cycle | Ms. Reed: If you'll excuse me, I need to go use the rest room.
/ Faye: The door to the right in back.
/ Ms. Reed: Thank you. Be right back! / Dora: How come you never told me your mom was Veronica Vance?!
/ < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=438 |
| Questionable Content Number 439: So Kawaii | {{Title: Number 439: So Kawaii}} / [[Marten and Miss Reid in Coffee of Doom]]
/ Miss Reid: Ah, much better. Now, who's up for some lunch? My treat.
/ Marten: Sounds good to me. / [[Miss Reed, leaving looks back at Dora and Faye behind counter. Blackboard now says "Specials/We're remodeling. Make up your own damn specials.]]
/ Miss Reid: Would you girls like to come along?
/ Dora: [[Raising hand of regret]] I would, but someone needs to be here to mind the shop.
/ Faye: Aw farts. I'd take a fortuitous lunch break now but I'd feel to guilty to eat. / [[POV rotates to view counter endwise, Miss Reed on one side in front of window, Dora and Faye on the other side.]]
/ Dora: It's okay Faye. Go have lunch with them.
/ Faye: [[looking awkwardly away]] No, I think you should go. You spend too much time cooped up in here as it is.
/ Miss Reid: If you two can't decide I'll just make Marty pick one of you to bring along. / [[POV rotates back and widens to show Marten, Miss Reed, Dora and Faye]]
/ Marten: Why do I suddenly feel like I'm in one of those Japanese dating-sim videogames?
/ Miss Reid: It better not be one with Oedipal overtones.
/ Dora: Nah, this is more like a shoujo manga.
/ Faye: Hah! All we need is a cute girl who is also a robot who is also in love with Marten! Oh, and snow. Lots and lots of snow. Oh the bathos! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=439 |
| So Kawaii | Ms. Reed: Ah, much better. Now, who's up for some lunch? My treat.
/ Marten: Sounds good to me. / Ms. Reed: Would you girls like to come along?
/ Dora: I would, but someone needs to be here to mind the shop.
/ Faye: Aw farts. I'd take a fortuitous lunch break now but I'd feel too guilty to eat. / Dora: It's okay Faye. Go have lunch with them.
/ Faye: No, I think you should go. You spend too much time cooped up in here as it is.
/ Ms. Reed: If you two can't decide I'll just make Marty pick one of you to bring along. / Marten: Why do I suddenly feel like I'm in one of those Japanese dating-sim games?
/ Ms. Reed: It'd better not be one with Oedipal overtones.
/ Dora: Nah, this is more like a Shoujo manga.
/ Faye: Hah! All we need is a cute girl who is also a robot who is also in love with Marten! Oh, and snow. Lots and lots of snow. Oh the bathos! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=439# |
| Questionable Content Number 440: A Thin Candy Shell | {{Title: Number 440: A Thin Candy Shell}} / [[Miss Reed, Marten, Faye, and Dora in Coffee of Doom]]
/ Marten: [[hand in hair]] Man I am so terrible at making decisions, this is totally impossible.
/ Faye: [[to Dora]] It's just lunch, I don't see what the big deal is.
/ Dora: He doesn't want to slight one of us, dummy.
/ Miss Reed: I propose a compromise. Dora, come to lunch with us. We'll have dinner with Faye this evening. / [[Closeup on Dora and Faye]]
/ Dora: [[waving goodbye]] Sounds fair to me! See you later, Faye.
/ Faye: [[turned away, somewhat rejected]] Don't you dare say nasty things about me behind my back.
/ Dora: Aw, I wouldn't dream of it. Your myriad flaws are self-evident anyway.
/ Faye: Well farts to you too then. / [[Marten, Miss Reed and Faye outside, walking past building]]
/ Miss Reed: Faye is so defensive with you two. It's not a healthy attitude.
/ Marten: Deep down, she's a real sweethard. She just has some issues. / [[Marten, Miss Reed and Faye outside. In background across street is "SIAM SQUARE and another restaurant]]
/ Dora: That's like saying "deep down, the earth's core is delicious chocolate". Sure, it's hypothetically possible, but it'd take some serious spelunking to find it.
/ Miss Reed: [[winking at Dora]] Sounds like the girl could use a good spelunking to me. I'd lighten her up a little.
/ Marten: [[not looking back]] Would there be bats? I hate bats. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=440 |
| Questionable Content: Number 440 A Thin Candy Shell | Marten; Man I am so terrible at making decisions, this is totally impossible.
/ Faye; It's just lunch, I don't see what the big deal is.
/ Dora; He doesn't want to slight one of us dummy.
/ Veronica; I propose a comprimise Dora, come to lunch with us. We'll have dinner with Faye this evening. / Dora; Sounds fair to me! See you later, faye.
/ Faye; Don't you dare say nasty things about me behind my back.
/ Dora; Aw, I wouldn't dream of it. Your myriad flaws are self-evident anyway.
/ Faye; Well farts to you too then. / Veronica; Faye is so defensive with you two. It's not a healthy attitude.
/ Marten; Deep down she's a real sweetheart. She just has some issues.
/ Dora; / Dora; That's like saying "deep down, the earth's core is delicious chocolate". Sure, it's hypothetically possible, but it'd take some serious spelunking to find out.
/ Veronica; Sounds like the girl could use a good spelunking to me . It'd lighten her up a little.
/ Marten; Would there be bats? I hate bats. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=440# |
| Questionable Content - Number 441: Tee, Tee Em Eye | {{Number 441: Tee, Tee Em Eye}} / [[Miss Reed, Marten, and Dora walking past railing in open-air restaurant overlooking greenery; misty day in background]]
/ Miss Reed: So there I am, covered in peanut oil and brandishing a large trout, when his cell phone goes off.
/ Dora: Oh man, talk about bad timing.
/ Miss Reed: Actually it was great timing. It was set to vibrate so his prostate got a nice little massage.
/ Marten: Aw man, that's horrible. / [[Closeup on faces]]
/ Miss Reed: [[Looking back at Marten]] What can I say, Marty? Your father and I had some adventurous times together.
/ Marten: What?! That was DAD you were talking about?! Jesus shit!
/ [[Dora looks at Marten with concern]] / [[At table, Marten seated across from Dora, Miss Reed with hand on chair beside Marten]]
/ Miss Reed: Oh, I'm just pulling your leg. It wasn't really Henry.
/ Marten: Sheesh, thank God. I mean, it's one thing if you're doing weird stuff like that with one of your clients, but that was just a little bit too close to home for comfort. / [[All seated, POV shifts to side view]]
/ Miss Reed: Actually, I was just kidding then. It really was your father.
/ Marten: [[hands over ears, eyes shut]] Augh! Nooo!
/ Dora: This really puts the time I caught my parents in the missionary position in a broader perspective. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=441 |
| Questionable Content - Number 442: Wallet Photo | {{Title: Number 442: Wallet Photo}} / [[Miss Reed, Marten, and Dora eating at table overlooking greenery and mist]]
/ Miss Reed: So are you originally from this area?
/ Dora: Yep. My parents moved down to Florida a couple years ago, but my big brother and I still live here in town. / [[Closer. Martin still chewing]]
/ Miss Reed: And you run Coffee of Doom yourself?
/ Dora: Uh huh. It consistently fails to drive me into bankruptcy so I must be doing something right.
/ Miss Reed: Hah, spoken like a true entrepreneur. / [[Back]]
/ Miss Reed: Do you have a boyfriend?
/ Dora: [[Showing wallet photo of cat]] Nah, my cat would freak out. He gets very jealous of other men.
/ [[Marten, still silent, looks thoughtful]] / [[Closeup again]]
/ Marten: He seems to like me just fine . . . wait, does that mean I've been emasculated by a cat? Dammit!
/ Dora: It's okay, Marten. He was emasculated by the vet in a much more literal sense, which is a lot worse.
/ Marten: I dunno, at least he got anaesthetic for that. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=442 |
| Number 442: Wallet Photo | [[Lunch at a restaurant]]
/ Veronica: So are you originally from this area?
/ Dora: Yep. My parents moved down to Florida a couple years ago, but my big brother and I still live here in town. / Veronica: And you run Coffee of Doom yourself?
/ Dora: Uh huh. It consistently fails to drive me into bankruptcy so I must be doing something right.
/ Veronica: Hah, spoken like a true entreprenuer. / Veronica: Do you have a boyfriend?
/ Dora: Nah, my cat would freak out. He gets very jealous of other men. / Marten: He seemed to like me just fine...wait, does that mean I've been emasculated by a cat? Dammit!
/ Dora: It's okay, Marten. He was emasculated by the vet in a much more literal sense, which is a lot worse.
/ Marten: I dunno, at least he got anaesthetic for that. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=442# |
| Questionable Content Number 443: Love Indiemerican Style | {{Title: Number 443: Love Indiemerican Style}} / [[Miss Reed, Marten, and Dora at table with empty plates]]
/ Miss Reed: Well that was delicious. Shall we get you back to work, Dora?
/ Dora: Yeah, before Faye loses her patience and starts murdering customers.
/ Marten: Funny, I thought you advocated the murder of your patrons.
/ Dora: Well yeah, but not before they pay. / [[Dora and Miss Reed walking past railing out of restaurant]]
/ Dora: Thanks for the dinner, Miss- [[blushes]] I mean, Veronica.
/ Miss Reed: Any time, sweetie. It's a comfort to know my boy keeps good company.
/ Dora: Aw, well your boy is a sweetheart. / [[Dora, Miss Reed, and Marten going downstairs]]
/ Miss Reed: That he is. Too much for his own good, most of the time.
/ Marten: It's all part of my cunning plan to surround myself with as many hot ladies as possible.
/ Dora: Oh, I get it. Building a harem, are we? / [[Back on the level]]
/ Marten: That's right. A harem of intelligent, sexy ladies whom I have absolutely no chance with. It's an indie rock nerd's dream come true!
/ Miss Reed: Normally I'd encourage you to follow your dreams, but that's like Einstein aspiring to be an electrician.
/ Dora: Well, you've got to give him a little credit. Most indie rock nerds would settle for only somewhat attractive girls in their Sarlacc Pit of Platonic Frustration. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=443 |
| Questionable Content Number 444: Quite Beyond Her | {{Number 444: Quite Beyond Her}} / [[Faye and Raven in Coffee of Doom. Faye still in Bear Monster shirt; Raven's shirt says "I am a beautiful flower and you are not"]]
/ Raven: So Marten's mom is in town? What's she like? Is she nice?
/ Faye: She seems nice enough for a professional dominatrix. / [[POV shifts to show Raven in background looking at Faye]]
/ Raven: Aww, are you worried about making a good impression?
/ Faye: What? What gives you that idea? / [[POV back to side]]
/ Raven: [[finger on cheek in contemplation]] I dunno, you just seem a little...frazzled.
/ Faye: [[still facing away from Raven, hand out in self-explanation]] Well, it would be pretty bad if the mother of the boy I live with didn't like me, right? As hard as I am on Marten, she's probably none to fond of me to begin with. / [[POV back to side, Faye still facing away from Raven]]
/ Raven: [[hands clasped in sympathy]] Aww, poor Faye. It really sucks that you actually have to deal with the consequences of being mean to people who care about you.
/ Faye: [[facing Raven]] Yeah, it totally-wait, are you being sarcastic?
/ Raven: Me? Sarcastic? Of course not. I'm far too ditzy to grasp the subtleties of mockery. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=444 |
| 444: Quite Beyond Her | Raven: So Marten’s mom is in town? What’s she like? Is she nice?
/ Faye: She seems nice enough, for a professional dominatrix. / Raven: Aww. are you worried about making a good impression?
/ Faye: What? What gives you that idea? / Raven: I dunno, you just seem a little...frazzled.
/ Faye: Well, it would be pretty bad if the mother of the boy whom I live with didn’t like me, right? As hard as I am on Marten, she’s probably none too fond of me to begin with. / Raven: Aww, poor Faye. It really sucks that you actually have to deal with the consequences of being mean to people who care about you.
/ Faye: Yeah it totally-- wait, are you being sarcastic?
/ Raven: Me? Sarcastic? Of course not, I’m far too ditzy to grasp the subtleties of mockery. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=444# |
| Questionable Content Number 445: Like Angry Ferrets | {{Title: Number 445: Like Angry Ferrets}} / [[Miss Reed, Dora, and Faye in Coffee of Doom]]
/ Miss Reed: We're back.
/ Faye: Thank goodness. I was worried you might've spirited Dora away to become your protegé.
/ Dora: I think you'd make a better heir to the Vance name than I. You've got a much more domineering personality, after all. / [[Closeup on Dora and Faye]]
/ Faye: I'm not sure that someone with a nearly pathological need for control would make the safest dominatrix.
/ Dora: Aww, these occasional flashes of self-analysis are very becoming of you, Faye.
/ Faye: Really? Do they make my hips look smaller?
/ Dora: Honey, it'd take years of therapy and some serious vertical striping to make your hips less hippy. / [[Show widens to include Martin and Miss Reed]]
/ Miss Reed: Okay, now I see why you put up with her.
/ Marten: What, you mean her hips or her rapier wit?
/ Faye: [[shrugging]] What can I say, I'm the total package.
/ Dora: If good things really come in small packages, you're {{in}} a lot of trouble. / [[Closeup, Martin and Miss Reed looking at Dora and Faye]]
/ Miss Reed: Are they always this catty?
/ Marten: Pretty much, yeah.
/ Dora: Psh, you ain't seen nothin' yet. One of these days we're gonna have a knock down drag out nude mudwrestling showdown.
/ Faye: I'm not saying I ever want to do that, but if I did I would take your skinny ass out. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=445 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Veronica: We're back.
/ Faye: Thank goodness. I was worried you might've spirited Dora away to become your protoge.
/ Dora: I think you'd make a better heir to the Vance name than I.
/ You've got a much more domineering personality, after all. / Faye: I'm not sure that someone with a nearly pathological need for control would make the safest dominatrix.
/ Dora; Aww, these occasional flashes of self-analysis are very becoming of you, Faye.
/ Faye: Really?
/ Do they make my hips look smaller?
/ Dora: Honey, it'd take years of therapy and some serious vertical striping to make your hips less hippy. / Veronica: Okay, now I see why you put up with her.
/ Marten: What, you mean her hips or her rapier wit?
/ Faye: What can I say, I'm the total package.
/ Dora: If good things really come in small packages, you're a lot of trouble. / Veronica: Are they always this catty?
/ Marten: Pretty much, yeah.
/ Dora: Psh, you ain't seen nothin' yet.
/ One of these days we're gonna have a knock down drag out nude mudwrestling showdown.
/ Faye: I'm not saying I ever want to do that, but if I did I would take your skinny ass out. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=445# |
| Questionable Content Number 446: How To Make Mom Happy | Number 446: How To Make Mom Happy / [[Miss Reed, Marten, and Faye in Coffee of Doom]]
/ Miss Reed: All right, I'm going to drag Marty away from you ladies for a few hours. We'll come get you for dinner later, Faye.
/ Faye: Okay, see you later Marty!
/ Marten: [[hangog]] Sigh. insert obligatory objections to the infantilization of my name here. / [[Faye, Dora, and Raven in Coffee of Doom]]
/ Faye: Okay, I have a couple hours to compose myself. Help me out here girls, what can I do to make sure Marten's mom doesn't hate me?
/ Dora: [[cattily looking away from Faye with a grin]] Aside from going back in time and taking back all those times you punched him?
/ Raven: What would the opposite of a punch be? She could do that.
/ Dora: Not in front of his mom, she couldn't. / [[Closeup on Faye and Dora]]
/ Dora: [[arms crossed]] You seem awfully worried about this considering your professed platonic feelings toward Marten.
/ Faye: [[looking guilty]] It's just that he's been so generous to me, I don't want his mom to think I'm taking advantage of him. Marten is my friend, I don't want him to think less of me because his mother doesn't approve. / [[Widen to Faye, Dora and Raven]]
/ Dora: Considering the amount of abuse Marten is willing to put up with from you, I don't think anything short of stabbing his mom with a butter knife would make him think less of you.
/ Faye: [[thumb up]] Okay, no stabbings. Gotcha. What else?
/ Raven: [[finger of brilliance raised]] You could buy her a pony! Everyone loves ponies! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=446 |
| 446: How to Make Mom Happy | Miss Reed: All right, I’m going to drag Marty away from you ladies for a few hours. We’ll come get you for dinner later, Faye.
/ Faye: Okay, see you later Marty!
/ Marten: Sigh. Insert obligatory objections to the infantilization of my name here. / Faye: Okay, I have a couple hours to compose myself. Help me out here girls, what can I do to make sure Marten’s mom doesn’t hate me?
/ Dora: Aside from going back in time and taking back all those times you punched him?
/ Raven: What would the opposite of a punch be? She could do that.
/ Dora: Not in front of his mom, she couldn’t. / Dora: You seem awfully worried about this considering your professed platonic feelings toward Marten.
/ Faye: It’s just that he’s been so generous to me, I don’t want his mom to think I’m taking advantage of him. Marten is my friend, I don’t want him to think less of me because his mother doesn’t approve. / Dora: Considering the amount of abuse Marten is willing to put up with from you, I don’t think anything short of stabbing his mom with a butter knife would make him think less of you.
/ Faye: Okay, so no stabbings. Gotcha. What else?
/ Raven: You could buy her a pony! Everyone loves ponies! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=446# |
| Questionable Content Number 447: Alternative Lifestyles | {{Title: Number 447: Alternative Lifestyles}} / [[Marten and Miss Reed arriving at door to his apartment]]
/ Marten: So what do you think of the girls?
/ Miss Reed: Dora's a sweetheart, and Faye is definitely your type. You've always been a sucker for the pushy ones, ever since Jenny Smith used to beat you up in kindergarten.
/ Marten: Faye punches way harder than she did, though. / [[Standing at doorway]]
/ Marten: So do you think I'm doing the right thing with the whole Faye situation?
/ Miss Reed: Honey, we both know how much success I've had with MY love life. I don't want to give you bad advice. I will say that she's going to need a lot of patience and careful handling if you want things to work out with her. / [[Climbing stairs]]
/ Miss. Reed: What about Dora? She seems considerably looser-wound.
/ Marten: Dora's a great girl, but I can't just switch my affection from one person to another like that. I need to see this Faye thing through to the end, whatever that end turns out to be. / [[Entering apartment, Marten and Miss Reed encounter Pintsize in a gimp mask and leather straps.]]
/ Miss Reed: Looks like someone was snooping around in my suitcase.
/ Pintsize: Mmmf hmm mm pmmf!
/ Marten: But your suitcase is back at the hotel, isn't it? How could he...
/ Miss Reed: I don't know, but I suggest we back away slowly, close the door behind us, and never speak of this again. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=447 |
| Questionable Content: Number 447: Alternative Lifestyles | {{title: Number 447: Alternative Lifestyles}}
/ [[Marten and his mom are outside his apartment building, walking to the door.]]
/ [[Marten's shirt: T-shirt, black, red with white outline "WEBCEST"]]
/ Marten: So what do you think of the girls?
/ Marten's mom: Dora's a sweetheart, and Faye is definitely your typw. You've always been a sucker for the pushy ones, ever since Jenny Smith used to beat you up in kindergarten.
/ Marten: Faye punches way harder than she did, though. / [[sign on door: "No Solicitors"]]
/ Marten: Do you think I'm doing the right thing with the whole Faye situation?
/ Marten's mom: Honey, we both know how much success I've had with MY love life. I don't want to give you bad advice. I will say that she's going to need a lot of patience and careful handling if you want things to work out with her. / [[Inside the building, going up the stairs.]]
/ Marten's mom: What about Dora? She seems considerably looser-wound.
/ Marten: Dora's a great girl, but I can't just switch my affection from one person to another like that. I need to see this Faye thing through to the end, whatever that end turns out to be. / [[Inside Marten's apartment. Pintsize is wearing a bondage outfit.]]
/ Marten's mom: Looks like someone was snooping around in my suitcase.
/ Pintsize: Mmmf hmm mm pmmf!
/ Marten: But your suitcase is back at the hotel, isn't it? How could he...
/ Marten's mom: I don't know, but i suggest we back away slowly, close the door quietly behind us, and never speak of this again. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=447# |
| Questionable Content Number 448: Nslookup | {{Title: Number 448: Nslookup}} / [[Miss Reed and Marty in Marty's kitchen. She's drinking a glass of a refreshing beverage while Marten pours one for himself.]]
/ Miss Reed: It's nice to see you again, Marty. You haven't been out to California in a long time.
/ Marten: I would come visit more often, but there's no way I can afford the plane tickets with my current salary. / [[Miss Reed letting her hair down, Marten drinking]]
/ Miss Reed: How is your job going, anyway?
/ Marten: Meh, same old office bitchery as ever. I'm like a glorified Kinko's employee. / [[Miss Reed and Marten in living room]]
/ Miss Reed: Why don't you just quit and do something you actually enjoy?
/ Marten: [[shrugging]] All I really like doing is playing my guitar, listening to music, and hanging out with people at the coffee shop. How am I supposed to make a living doing that? / [[Sitting on sofa]]
/ Miss Reed: You should start a website. You'd be amazed at what will make money on the internet. Why, I make two grand a month filming videos of me stomping on fruit in clogs.
/ Marten: I don't think I could ever come up with a domain name a catchy as sexyfruitstompingvixens.com.
/ Miss Reed: If you ever get really desperate for cash, let me know. I can fix you up with the guy who runs sexyfruitstompingcowboys.com. Free cowboy boots and all the smoothies you can drink! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=448 |
| Questionable Content Number 449: Curfew | {{Title: Number 449: Curfew}} / [[Miss Reed and Marten on couch in Marten's apartment.]]
/ Marten: I dunno, I guess I could start some kinda blog-type thing where I yell about bands and music and stuff...
/ Miss Reed: That's not a bad idea. If there's one thing people enjoy, it's being told what to think. Music is no exception! / [[POV shifts slightly to show Marten in foreground]]
/ Marten: Heh, yeah. The secret to being a good rock critic is to hate anything that anyone else has ever heard before.
/ Miss Reed: Hah! Don't forget the thinly-veiled contempt for your readers! / [[Pintsize shows up at Marten's side of the couch]]
/ Marten: Hey Pintsize, take off the gimp mask and fire up blogger.com. I'm gonna take a stab at this idea.
/ Pintsize: I was trying to say before, this isn't what you think. It's for a costume party I was invited to this evening.
/ Marten: Oh yeah? How do you plan on getting there? I can't take you, I have stuff to do tonight.
/ Pintsize: I'll just walk over there. It's only a few blocks away. / [[Same]]
/ Marten: [[pointing finger of caution]] You can't just walk over, that isn't safe. What if someone tries to give you trouble on the way?
/ Pintsize: Would YOU mess with a little robot walking down the street in this outfit?
/ Marten: Hmm, point taken. You'd better be home by midnight, and if I find anything fishy on your hard drive tomorrow you're grounded for a week. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=449 |
| Number 449: Curfew | [[Marten and his mom are sitting on the couch in the apartment]]
/ Marten: I dunno, I guess i could start some kinda blog-type thing where i yell about bands and music and stuff
/ Marten's Mom: That's not a bad idea. If there's one thing people enjoy, it's being told what to think. Music is no exception! / Marten: Heh, yeah. The secret to being a good rock critic is to hate anything that anyone else has ever heard of before.
/ Marten's mom: Hah! don't forget the thinly-veiled contempt for your readers! / Marten: Hey Pintsize, take of the gimpmask and fire up blogger.com. I'm gonna take a stap at this idea.
/ Pintsize: I was trying to say before, this isn't what you think. It's for a costume party i was invited to this evening.
/ Marten: Oh yeah? How do you plan on getting there? I can't take you, i have stuff to do tonight.
/ Pintsize: I'll just walk there. It's only a few blocks away. / Marten: You can't just walk over, that isn't safe. What if someone tries to give you trouble on the way?
/ Pintsize: Would YOU mess with a little robot walking down the street in this outfit?
/ Marten: Hmm, point taken. You'd better be home by midnight, and if i find anything fishy on your hard drive tomarrow you're grounded for a week. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=449# |
| Questionable Content Number 450: She's A Good Driller | {{Title: Number 450: She's A Good Driller}} / [[Raven and Dora in Coffee of Doom]]
/ Dora: [[offering wad o' cash]] Okay Raven, go out and find us some nice chairs and maybe a table or two. Whatever you think you can get back here yourself.
/ Raven: [[saluting]] Aye aye, cap'n! / [[Faye and Raven in Coffee of Doom]]
/ Faye: I still can't believe you're entrusting her with all that money. Where did it come from, anyway?
/ Dora: [[wielding drill on a shelf set]] That's my share of the tip jar from the last six months or so. I didn't really need it. / [[Faye in background, Dora drilling in foreground]]
/ Faye: Suddenly I feel guilty about spending my portion on Ho-Hos and liquor.
/ Dora: Well, I can't tell you what to do with your money. It probably would've been better spent on some therapy though. No offense honey but you've got issues to address.
/ [[Drill]] < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=450 |
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