You're browsing the archives of Questionable Content.
You can search these comics too.
show: [ show full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]
| Number 1172: Dora, Witch indeed | [[Coffe of Doom]]
/ Hannelore: You mean you guys DON'T have morbid thought sometimes?
/ Dora: Define "morbid".
/ Hannelore: Like, when we were walking down the street, I could've pushed Marten into traffic and hit you over the head with that loose brick you tripped over. / Dora: Hanners, I know you think...... http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1172 |
| Number 1173: Like a warlock, only he summons organs | [[Coffee of Doom, Marten is wearing a shirt reading S.C.R.A.]]
/ Dora: Whats that thing on your shirt standing for, anyway?
/ Marten: Society for Creative Rock Anachronism. They're a band. / Dora: "Creative rock anachronism?" Like, ren-faire stuff?
/ Marten: No, like steam-punk rock. they dress in Victorian... http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1173 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday - Number 1174: Don't Be That Couple | [[Dora and Marten are in Coffee of Doom; Dora has her hands behind her back.]]
/ Dora: Hey sweetie, I'm back and I have a surprise for you.
/ Marten: What is it? Is it burritos? / [[Dora reveals a brown paper sack.]]
/ Dora: There ARE burritos, yes, but that's not the surprise. It's better than burritos.
/ Marten:... http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1174 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Hannelore, Pintsize, and Winslow are in Faye and Marten's living room. Pintsize is holding the loose end of a cable which is plugged into Winslow.]]
/ Hannelore: You sterilized it, right?
/ Pintsize: Of course! / [[Looking serious, Pintsize plugs the end of the cable into Hannelore's navel.]]
/ < http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1175 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Number 1176: She's Already Got Distemper}}
/ [[Faye and Hannelore, walking out of Faye's apartment.]]
/ Faye: Then a friggin' RACCOON fell out, and I fell off the ladder.
/ Hannelore: Oh my gosh! Raccoons carries *rabies!* Did you get vaccinated? / Faye: No, the raccoon never actually touched me.
/ Hannelore:... http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1176 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Number 1177: And Without All The Oboe}}
/ [[Faye, Hannelore, and Marten are inside the front door of Coffee of Doom.]]
/ Hannelore: Hey Marten, are you ready for band practice?
/ Marten: Oh yeah. I forgot we were supposed to play tonight.
/ Faye: How's the "band" coming along, anyway? / Hannelore: We... http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1177 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Number 1178: Disproportionate Response}}
/ [[Natasha, Amir, Marten, and Hannelore's band are practicing. Natasha has 'metal' fingers up and sunglasses on, while the others look pained.]]
/ Natasha: Man, that was AWESOME!
/ Amir: Yeah ... you sure made some ... GREAT screeching noises there.
/ Marten:... http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1178 |
| Number 1179: There's one for every occasion | [[Cafe of Doom, Dora and Faye behind the counter]] / [[Faye suddenly looks scared and hides below the counter]] / [[Enters Sven, Dora simply points at where Faye disappeared]] / [[Sven hands Faye something]] / [[It's a card with a sad dino. It reads "Sorry about your head injury"]] / [[Faye has... http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1179 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Number 1180: Ba Dum Bum Pssh}}
/ [[Marten, Amir, and Hannelore are in their band's practice space.]]
/ Marten: Oh, man. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said anything.
/ Amir: Nah dude, it's not your fault. She's just bein' a bitch 'cause she's insecure about not bein' able to play for shit.
/ Marten:... http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1180 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Number 1181: Federer Versus Nadal}}
/ [[Sven and Faye are at the counter of Coffee of Doom.]]
/ Faye: Thanks for the card. I'm really sorry about last night, I -
/ Sven: Forget about it. You weren't exactly clear-headed at the time. / [[Dora enters, quietly, from the right.]]
/ Sven: Speaking of clear-headedness,... http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1181 |
| Number 1182: Good beer gone to waste | [[A bar; Amir, Marten and Hannelore at the counter]]
/ Amir: Like, I'd LIKE to date someone more my age,but you don't really get chicks over 30 at my kind of shows, you know?
/ Marten: Is that where you usually meet your girlfriends? / Amir: Yeah. There's Natasha, and before her was Amy, I met her at... http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1182 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Winslow: I wish I could procreate.
/ Pintsize: Why? / Winslow: I'd have someone to teach! Someone to raise! Someone to look after me in my obsolescence!
/ Pintsize: Parent/child relationships are messy. Why go to the trouble of raising something that might end up hating you anyway?
/ [[Roomba < http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1183 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Dora: You know he thinks this is just a game, right?
/ Faye: Is that what you two were whispering about?
/ Card: < http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1184 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Number 1185: Long-Term Plan}}
/ [[Amir, Marten, and Hannelore are in a bar, reasonably drunk.]]
/ Marten: I dunno, you don't really need to date someone your AGE, just someone more, uh, mature than Nat.
/ Amir: Yeh, you gotta point, man. But what're we gonna do about the BAND? / Marten: What *about*... http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1185 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Number 1186: Semi-Altruism}}
/ [[Angus and Faye are at the counter of Coffee of Doom.]]
/ Angus: Excuse me, I—
/ Faye: Small no-foam latte, right? / Angus: I, er, yes, but I wanted to ... to ENQUIRE after one of your co-workers. Her name is Penelope, I believe?
/ Faye: Whaddya want with Penny? / Angus:... http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1186 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Number 1187: Shamegasm / [[Amir, Marten, and Hanners leaving the bar, all slightly drunk.]]
/ Amir: All right, I should get goin'. I got work tomorrow.
/ Hanners: Yeah, I should get home and change out of these sweaty clothes. / Marten: Hey, uh, speaking of clothes... next time, you probably shouldn't... http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1187 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Number 1188: Another True Story}}
/ [[Hannelore, Dora, and Marten are in Marten's living room. Hannelore looks pretty shell-shocked.]]
/ Hannelore: I have never been so mortified.
/ Dora: Aw, that's nothin'. Let me tell you a story. / [[Flashback, with Dora's voice over. She is shopping, and looks... http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1188 |
| Number 1189: Lurid verse | [[Sven's apartment]]
/ Angus: And then she said I should try striking up a conversation about Hemingway. I have an "in"!
/ Sven: And Faye told you this? / Angus: Yes, she did. Why?
/ Sven: I know what she's like.She's probably setting you up for her own amusement. I'd wager Penelope is no great Hemingway... http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1189 |
| Number 1190: What Goes Around Comes Around | [[Sven opens the door of his apartment to see Faye there]]
/ Sven: Oh, Faye. What do you want?
/ Faye: I was bored and thought I'd come pester you. / [[Wil puts on his coat to leave]]
/ Sven: I believe you've met my friend Wil.
/ Faye: Gah! I, I mean... h-hello.
/ Wil: I was just leaving. Good evening Sven. / Faye:... http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1190 |
| Number 1191: Lookit Him Go | Faye: I'm really sorry. I didn't...I didn't realize...
/ Sven: That the customers you treat like crap are actual people? / Faye: Yeah. Basically. God I'm a bitch.
/ Sven: Well at least there was no harm done. Besides, I'm hardly one to judge. I've practically got a PhD in treating people like crap myself. / Faye:... http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1191 |
| Guest strip by Chris Daily (www.stripteasecomic.com) | Pintsize: Welcome back to the show! Our next guest had a big day a few weeks ago, and he's here to talk about it! Please welcome back, iPhone! / iPhone: Bitch, please! call me 3-G.
/ Pintsize: Now, you have a big opening weekend, I understand?
/ iPhone: I'll say! I'm so famous, I could walk out on the... http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1192 |
| [[untitled]] The Illuminati? | Jeph! The webcomic illuminati are tired of your shit! / No more cute girls chatting about boobs, or mysterious sexy underwear, or panel after panel of hipster innuendo! / It's time for the climax we've all known was coming since day one. / [[Hands Jeph a script]] / We've writen the final pages of... http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1193 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Marten: Coming to bed?
/ Dora: Yep! Got some energy left for some unf-unf?
/ Marten: Oh, I think I can--
/ Yelling Bird: TWEET TWEET CHIRP CHIRP TWEETY TWEET!! / Yelling Bird: TWEET CHIRP TWEEET CHIRP BRAAAP TWEET TWEET CHIRP TWEETY CHIRP
/ Marten: Geez, there's that noisy little bird again.
/ Dora: Yeah,... http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1194 |
| A secret origina tale of highly "questionable content" by Rene Engstrom | Take me Sven Bianchi! Take me in your Italo-nordic way! / [[thought balloon]] / You suck Sven!
/ Also you're a slut!
/ Why are you so horny? / Do meeee! / I'm sorry.
/ I can't. / CURSE THAT WRETCHED BANSHEE! My cock is USELESS! / For 40 days and 40 nights after his "encounter" with Faye, Sven was... http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1195 |
| Guest strip by John Campbell (www.picturesforsadchildren.com) | natalie portman's shaved head?
/ i hate you when you're pregnant?
/ what are you guys doing? / that is not the longest band name!
/ that's what we're doing.
/ oh. poor boy johnson and the goddamn rattlesnake? / that's two groups! that's against the rules. otherwise i could drop "the octopus project with... http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1196 |
| Number 1197: Yelling Bird To The Rescue | [[Yelling Bird is perching on a branch]]
/ Yelling Bird: ON SATURDAY NIGHT, JEPH AND MANY OF THE MOST WELL-KNOWN COMICS ARTISTS ON THE INTERNET WENT TO THE FANCIEST BAR IN SAN DIEGO AND WERE SERENADED BY TWO DRUNKEN STAR TREK ACTORS. / Yelling Bird: THIS IS WHAT WESTERN CIVILIZATION HAS COME TO, FOLKS.
/ Yelling... http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1197 |
| Number 1198: Marvin Gaye hour | [[Sven's apartment, Faye is straddling his lap, blushing.]]
/ Faye: I told you this wasn't gonna happen again.
/ Sven: And yet here we are. / [[Sven is now shirtless, pulling Faye's shirt up]]
/ Faye: I... I can't *do* relationships.
/ Sven: Who said anything about a relationship? This is just two people... http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1198 |
| Number 1199: Really more of an early Anthrax fan, anyway | [[Faye and Sven are in bed]]
/ Faye: Wow. I can't feel my legs.
/ Sven: Glad you enjoyed yourself. / Faye: I did, although the Marvin Gaye in the background was a bit much.
/ Sven: Oh, you are NOT dissing on Marvin. there is no classier music. / Faye: So, is that always what you put o when you're making... http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1199 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Hannelore: Uno!
/ Winslow: Again?!
/ Pintsize: ASDF!!! / Hannelore: ASDF?
/ Winslow: It's a robot cuss word. He has a filthy mouth.
/ Pintsize: Human cusswords focus on mating, excretion, and genitalia. Robot cusswords focus on mashing on homerow. ASDF is a four-letter word. / Hannelore: Hee hee! So... http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1200 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Sven: Mornin'.
/ Faye: Mornin'. / Sven: So...I don't wanna freak you out or anything, but is this gonna become a regular thing?
/ Faye: You mean last night? No, of course not! / Sven: Okay.
/ Faye: Wha... okay?
/ Sven: Yup. / Faye: What, am I no good in bed? Is that it?
/ Sven: Oh for fuck's sake. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1201 |
Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 >>