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| Two Lumps | [[Snooch, sitting in a chair, and Ebenezer, on the floor, are looking at the computer screen]]
/ Snooch: "Try this tip, discovered by a mom, for white teeth!" "one weird tip, from a single mom, to tighten abs!" What's this stuff?
/ Eben: The eternal spam machine rolls on.l / Snooch: No, I mean, mom's... http://twolumps.net/d/20100122.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is sitting wearing a blindfold with a kanji on it]]
/ Snooch: Winter chill is here. / [[Background is now a snowy scene with a glowing red Japanese structure]]
/ Snooch: Silent snow blankets the world. / [[Snooch is sitting in a bread basket]]
/ Snooch: Fresh rolls keep butt warm. http://twolumps.net/d/20100125.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch comes racing into the room, where Ebenezer is laying on the couch]]
/ Snooch: AAAAHHHH! MOM'S A WITCH! She's stirrin' a huge pot an' cacklin' an talkin' 'bout Wart of Sparta!
/ Eben: And yet, you look decidedly un-newt-like. / [[Snooch now sits wide-eyed]]
/ Snooch: It's gonna be Tail of Cat next,... http://twolumps.net/d/20100127.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is looking out the window and it's pouring down rain]]
/ Snooch: Benny!
/ Ebenezer off panel: Argh. What?
/ Snooch: I know rain is water falling down, but how does it get up in the sky first? / Eben off panel: Evaporation. You know how there's steam when Mom boils water?
/ Snooch: Yeah?
/ Eben off... http://twolumps.net/d/20100129.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Eben and Snooch are standing by a bag of jellybeans. Beans are scattered on the floor.]]
/ Snooch: Hee! These All-Flavors Jellybeans're neat! An' some are gross! What do you think the grossest flavor is?
/ Eben: Cat Flavor would be the most disturbing. / Snooch: Ewwww! I'd never eat that one!
/ Eben... http://twolumps.net/d/20100201.html |
| Two Lumps | [Same scene as previous comic. Snooch is sitting, eyes as large as saucers, tail sticking up straight. Eben walks into the panel.]
/ Eben: Oh, chill out, Fructose Avenger, it was a joke. You lick yourself all the time. You KNOW what Cat tastes like. / Snooch: Oh, yeah. Haven't run into that flavor... http://twolumps.net/d/20100203.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is lying prone. His legs are splayed out, his whiskers are limp, he's wall-eyed, and little bubbles are rising from his head. Ebenezer is sitting nearby. There's also a cup.]]
/ Snooch: I feel like I licked a tar pit.
/ Ebenezer: That's what you get for drinking so much last night. Here, you... http://twolumps.net/d/20100205.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer and Snooch are sitting in front of a television.]]
/ <<*Thweet*!>>
/ Snooch: YAY! Touchdown!
/ Ebenezer: That wasn't a touchdown, it was a tackle. / Snooch: But...he touched the ground with his hands. Down.
/ Ebenezer: Once again: a touchdown is when they get the ball to the end zone. / Snooch:... http://twolumps.net/d/20100208.html |
| Two Lumps | Snooch (from off-panel): WHO DAT?
/ Ebenezer: Snooch, the Super Bowl was on Sunday. Give it a rest. / Snooch (still off-panel): WHO DAT?
/ Ebenezer: Enough. The Saints won. You don't even follow football. / Snooch: WHO DAT?
/ Ebenezer: Ah. Head stuck in a sock again.
/ Snooch: WHO SAID DAT? WHERE AM... http://twolumps.net/d/20100210.html |
| Two Lumps | "Mom": Wait, you're sending me...a whole lutefisk?
/ Snooch: What's a lutefork?
/ Ebenezer: Lutefisk. It's basically a dish made from cod. / "Mom": Oh Gramma, you shouldn't have. No...REALLY.
/ Snooch (grinning): We're getting a GIANT FISH?
/ Ebenezer: I'd curb that excitement if I were you. / [[The... http://twolumps.net/d/20100212.html |
| Two Lumps | (no artwork whatsoever)
/ Hey Folks! James and Mel are totally without electric power at the mo, thanks to the snowstorm. Waiting for Oncor to resume service. Makeup strips will be posted as soon as we're back in business. http://twolumps.net/d/20100214.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Eben and Snooch are napping on the couch.]]
/ Snooch: Man, it is snowing like crazy whoa outside.
/ Ebenezer: At least we're in here, where it's warm. / [[Sudden darkness.]]
/ <<*bzzt*>> / [[Still dark. We see Snooch and Ebenezer only as open white eyes against the black.]]
/ Snooch: Benny?
/ Ebenezer:... http://twolumps.net/d/20100215.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Darkness. The boys are visible only as eyes.]]
/ Snooch: The power's out! We better tell Mom!
/ "Mom": F*&#ING ONCOR!!!
/ Ebenezer: I think she already knows. / Snooch: What's that about a Encore?
/ Ebenezer: Oncor. The company that supplies all electric wiring to Dallas. / Snooch: Oncor...More like... http://twolumps.net/d/20100217.html |
| Two Lumps | Snooch: Man, when Mom said they were slow gettin' the lights back on she meant it! Is the dimmer on or somethin'?
/ Ebenezer: Those aren't the lights, resistorhead. That's dawn. / Snooch: Wo. I can't remember last time I was up this early!
/ Ebenezer: Do what you like. I'm going to sleep through as... http://twolumps.net/d/20100219.html |
| Two Lumps | Snooch: Dying of...no TV...all day...ever'thin's gettin' dark...
/ Ebenezer: The sun's setting, Ennui McNugget. Looks like we're in for another cold, dark night.
/ Snooch: WAT. / Snooch (in flames): NO. I WILL NOT SIT FOR YET ANOTHER NIGHT OF THIS.
/ Ebenezer: Gah!
/ Snooch: IF THEY DON'T FIX THE POWER... http://twolumps.net/d/20100222.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is grinning at a computer.]]
/ Snooch: ELECTRICITY!!! / [[The television is on. Snooch is grinning at it.]]
/ Snooch: ELECTRICITY!!! / [[Snooch and Ebenezer are sitting in front of the couch.]]
/ Snooch: ELEC--
/ Ebenezer: WHY DON'T YOU STICK YOUR TONGUE IN THE SOCKET AND SEE IF IT'S FRESH? http://twolumps.net/d/20100224.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer is walking towards Snooch, who is lying down in front of a bowl.]]
/ < http://twolumps.net/d/20100226.html |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://twolumps.net/d/20100301.html">http://twolumps.net/d/20100301.html | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is sitting next to an iPod, wearing headphones.]]
/ < http://twolumps.net/d/20100303.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Interior of a concrete bunker. Snooch is standing, holding a futuristic-looking gun, chomping on a lit cigar; Ebenezer sits behind him. Both are wearing futuristic green uniforms. Snooch's has a head-mounted light and a targeting sight over his right eye; Ebenezer is wearing a visor and a headset,... http://twolumps.net/d/20100305.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is sitting in front of a computer.]]
/ Snooch (singing): I love cat macros, / I love the online games, / I love the cartoons, / an' generatin' names! / Snooch: I love the innernets, / They're full of funny things! / Snooch: Boom de yadda, / Boom de YAAAAGH!
/ Ebenezer: I love the Safe Searc... http://twolumps.net/d/20100308.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer and Snooch are sitting on the couch. Snooch's eyes are wide open]]
/ Eben: Are you still freaking out? You've seen worse on the internet before.
/ Snooch: It's not that... y'know how in movies, computers keep comin' to life an' killin' everyone? / Eben: There've been a few on that topic.
/ Snooch:... http://twolumps.net/d/20100310.html |
| Two Lumps | Snooch: Oooo! BUTTERFLY!
/ Ebenezer: They don't actually taste like butter, you know. / Snooch (jumping): GONNA GET IT! RAAA! C'MERE! / Snooch: Hmph. / [[Snooch is now lying flat on his back.]]
/ Ebenezer: Sour grapes?
/ Snooch: Yeah, I could go for some wine. http://twolumps.net/d/20100312.html |
| Two Lumps | [[A picture of Snooch, a bit scribblier than usual.]]
/ Snooch: Benny! I been drawing! Self-portrait!
/ Ebenezer: An uncanny likeness. I see you've learned some tricks from that art book I showed you. / [[The same picture as before, but with a bottle next to Snooch and a white blob covering the head.]]
/ Snooch:... http://twolumps.net/d/20100315.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is looking at a book.]]
/ Ebenezer: What's that, brisket-butt?
/ Snooch: Mom left it lyin' out. It's called "Now We Are Six". / Ebenezer: Ah, good old A. A. Milne. Classic children's literature. Right up your alley, really.
/ Snooch: Yeah! An' I can't wait to read the next one! It's about... http://twolumps.net/d/20100317.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Eben and Snooch are by the couch. There's a framed random-dot stereogram sitting on the couch.]]
/ Ebenezer: Found out paintings aren't scratch-n-sniff?
/ Snooch: This stupid picture is broken. It's s'posed to be a sailboat. / Ebenezer: It's an old Magic Eye picture. You have to look at it a certain... http://twolumps.net/d/20100319.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is looking at a book.]]
/ Snooch: Sooooo...Frodo had to throw the ring into Mount Doom?
/ Ebenezer: Yes. It took them a long time and many miles of hardship. / Snooch: And after that, the King of the Eagles flew everyone back?
/ Ebenezer: Yes. He flew them... from...um. / [[Snooch walks away... http://twolumps.net/d/20100322.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer and Snooch are hiding behind the couch. The air is filled with smoke.]]
/ "Mom": DAMN IT! I JUST BOUGHT THAT THING!
/ Ebenezer: WHAT were you trying to cook?
/ Snooch: I wasn't! I saw a cute cat onna computer an' I wanted to send her a present! / "Mom" (walking past): Where's the extinguisher?
/ Ebenezer:... http://twolumps.net/d/20100324.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is watching television.]]
/ Television: ...Democrats suffering death threats over the passage of the health care bill. / Television: Canadians and citizens of the UK are all like "WTF" over this. Like, they don't get what this is about. Srsly. / [[Ebenezer enters.]]
/ Snooch: Humans are freakin'... http://twolumps.net/d/20100326.html |
| Two Lumps | [[The cats are on the couch. Ebenezer is stretching and yawning.]]
/ Ebenezer: Mmm. Nothing like a long nap after dinner, right?
/ Snooch: Nah, I totally stayed up! Been watchin' movies!
/ Ebenezer: What's on?
/ Snooch: Sweeney Todd! / Ebenezer: ...and you're not completely flipping out? What do you... http://twolumps.net/d/20100329.html |
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