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| Two Lumps | [[Eben stares at Snooch, looking annoyed. Snooch's eyes are bugged out, the pupils uneven, and his fur has dirty patches all over it. For one panel, he JUST stares.]] / [[Eben begins cleaning his lower belly. Snooch's pupils become the same size.]]
/ Eben: Why were you in the fireplace?
/ Snooch: How... http://twolumps.net/d/20091113.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Presumably influenced by intense immersion in playing Dragon Age: Origins. Snooch and Ebenezer are drawn standing like Tyrannosaurus Rex]]
/ Snooch: Man, I'm freakin' huge! Like a dinosaur! / Snooch: Bigass cats / Ebenezer: Now that we're gigantic, I enjoy destroying the pitiful humans.
/ Snooch (stepping... http://twolumps.net/d/20091116.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer glares at Snooch.]]
/ Ebenezer: Okay, I can see why you thought butterflies would taste like butter.
/ [[Snooch furiously lapping at his water dish.]]
/ Snooch: < http://twolumps.net/d/20091118.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Text preceding first panel, in a fancy font: The Adventures of Dr. Ebenezer von Moustachio and Captain "Snooch" McMonocle Part IV: The Greatest Duel]] / [[Sketch done in sepia tones of a blimp floating over a castle. The artwork is reminiscent of steampunk]]
/ Snooch off panel: Doctor! The orgone... http://twolumps.net/d/20091120.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer and Snooch are looking at a pile of green watermelons. Three bowls are on the floor in front of Snooch]]
/ Eben: OK, you think you understand the question?
/ Snooch: Yeah. There are three bowls. I have promised each watermelon a bowl. There are seventeen watermelons. I need to get each one into... http://twolumps.net/d/20091123.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer sits looking at Snooch, who is wearing a burgundy fez and smoking a multi-color striped hookah]]
/ Eben: Ah. I get it. For Turkey Day, you've chosen to dress like a Turk. Hence the Hookah and Fez. What, pray tell, are you smoking?
/ Snooch: Hash! / [[Ebenezer stares at Snooch]] / [[Ebenezer... http://twolumps.net/d/20091125.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer is sitting looking at Snooch, who is laying on his side]]
/ Snooch: Woohoo! Yeah! The colors, man!
/ Eben: I thought we were out of catnip?
/ Snooch: Naw, dude, I'm gettin' high on turkey! / [[Ebenezer has turned away from Snooch who is now on his back]]
/ Eben: Not possible, Lard O' Lakes.
/ Snooch:... http://twolumps.net/d/20091127.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer is sitting on the floor, reading a book]]
/ Snooch off panel: BENNY! It's that TIME! Tree and ORNAMENTS an' PRESENTS an' SANTA and CANDY an' EGG NOG!!!
/ Eben: So they say. / [[Snooch, wearing a white-fur-trimmed red Santa hat, joins Ebenezer, who continues to stare down at the book]]
/ Snooch:... http://twolumps.net/d/20091130.html |
| Two Lumps | [[A peeved Ebenezer is sitting on the floor in front of the couch. Snooch is walking out of the room in disgust]]
/ Snooch: Is SO!
/ Eben: It is NOT. It's-
/ Snooch: I'm-a Google it and show you! / [[Ebenezer looks out of the room after Snooch leaves]] / [[Ebenezer looks at Snooch, who has re-entered... http://twolumps.net/d/20091202.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is looking into a fireplace, Ebenezer is laying on the floor in front of it]]
/ Snooch: Ooo, a fire! And it smells all awesome! Why's that?
/ Eben: Yule log. / [[Eben jumps in the air as Snooch yells at him]]
/ Snooch: OH YEAH?! UR MOM WILL LOG, SUCKA! / [[Snooch walks away from Eben]]
/ Snooch:... http://twolumps.net/d/20091204.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer looks at Snooch, who is reading a book on the floor]]
/ Snooch: Dude, this guy is completely Low-Cow.
/ Eben: For the last time, it's pronounced "lo-co." Who is?
/ Snooch: Some homie writing about Xmas eve. / [[Ebenezer turns away from Snooch]]
/ Snooch: Apparently, before Santa showed up, he... http://twolumps.net/d/20091207.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is walking toward the waterbowl, a question mark over his head]]
/ Mom off panel: Thanks for helping me set up for the party! I figured the boys'd be mobbing us by now.
/ Friend off panel: I poured them some eggnog to keep them distracted.
/ Mom off panel: There was some left in the fridge? / [[Snooch's... http://twolumps.net/d/20091209.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is walking toward the waterbowl, a question mark over his head]]
/ Mom off panel: Thanks for helping me set up for the party! I figured the boys'd be mobbing us by now.
/ Friend off panel: I poured them some eggnog to keep them distracted.
/ Mom off panel: There was some left in the fridge? / [[Snooch's... http://twolumps.net/d/20091209.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer is sitting on the floor looking up at Snooch, who is laying on the couch and looking very unhappy]]
/ Eben: So Mom's friend accidentally gave you a huge bowl of eggnog spiked with booze.
/ Snooch: Yup. / Eben: Eggs, cream, fat and booze... so basically you've just had your life's dream fulfilled.
/ Snooch:... http://twolumps.net/d/20091211.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Hanging from the fireplace is a bulging, white-fur-trimmed red stocking. Snooch's ear and eye are showing at the top of the stocking. Ebenezer is walking past]]
/ Snooch: BNNPH! HMMP MMM! / [[Eben sits and looks at Snooch in the stocking]]
/ Snooch: MPH CMPH GMPH DMMPH! MM TMMPHD! / [[Eben walks away]]
/ Eben:... http://twolumps.net/d/20091214.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch, frowning, is sitting in a chair looking at the computer. Ebenezer is sitting on the floor looking up at him]]
/ Snooch: Man! Some people are just greedy! An' rude!
/ Eben: Stumble into the internet's red light district again? / [[Snooch, still frowning, looks down at Eben]]
/ Snooch: No, but... http://twolumps.net/d/20091216.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Traditional-looking six panel comic with three panels on top, three panels on bottom. Font looks typed rather than usual drawn style]]
/ [[First top panel: Snooch is standing waving his arms]]
/ Snooch: Sometimes, life throws you a curveball! / [[Second top panel: Close-up of Snooch's face, eyes wide... http://twolumps.net/d/20091218.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is sitting on a printer]]
/ Snooch: Banzai! You won't escape this time, printer mice!
/ Ebenezer off panel: For the last time, gazpacho-for-brains, there are no mice in the printer. / [[Snooch leans over and looks into the printer tray, while Ebenezer's head appears over the edge of the table]]
/ Snooch:... http://twolumps.net/d/20091221.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is sitting on a printer]]
/ Snooch: Banzai! You won't escape this time, printer mice!
/ Ebenezer off panel: For the last time, gazpacho-for-brains, there are no mice in the printer. / [[Snooch leans over and looks into the printer tray, while Ebenezer's head appears over the edge of the table]]
/ Snooch:... http://twolumps.net/d/20091221.html |
| Two Lumps | {{Two Lumps, 23 Dec 09, http://twolumps.net/d/20091223.html |
| Two Lumps | {{Two Lumps, 23 Dec 09, http://twolumps.net/d/20091223.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Text above photo, all in caps: To all of our friends, family, and fans:
/ Airbrushed photo of Raistlin wearing a Santa hat.
/ Text below photo, all in caps and a larger font: Happy holidays 2009!
/ Text below that, same format as text above photo: From Mel and James! Comics resume on Monday! Quit emailing... http://twolumps.net/d/20091225.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer is laying on the couch, Snooch is racing past the couch]]
/ Snooch: BENNY! WE'RE ALL DOOMED! THE TEEVEE SAYS THE MAYAN CALENDAR ENDS IN 2012, AND THE WORLD WILL BLOW UP!!!
/ Eben: Argh. / [[Snooch sits and looks at Eben in panic]]
/ Eben: Look, we're not Mayans. We're American cats. We don't... http://twolumps.net/d/20091228.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch and Ebenezer are sitting on the couch. Snooch has a hand-lettered sign hanging around his neck that says THE END iS NEER]]
/ Snooch: ...and it ends on Friday! That's it! No more days!
/ Eben: Hmm. But that's not what the calendar in the computer room says at all. / [[Ebenezer watches as Snooch... http://twolumps.net/d/20091230.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer is sitting on the couch looking at Snooch, who is hanging over the edge of the couch]]
/ Eben: So, I'd point out that the world didn't end, but you decided to have your own personal armageddon last night.
/ Snooch: ...I never want to see a bottle again. / [[Ebenezer washes himself as Snooch... http://twolumps.net/d/20100101.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer is wearing a white shirt and gray tie. His expression is quizzical, one eye squinting, the other wide open with raised eyebrow. To his left (our right) is a square box with the image of a football and the words FOOT BAWL]]
/ Eben: ...which is why we really don't give a tin-plated damn about... http://twolumps.net/d/20100104.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer is sitting on the floor, reading from a piece of paper. Snooch is lying on the couch]]
/ Eben: ...and finally, I resolve not to fall for any more Nigerian "you have won free uranium" scams.
/ Snooch: That's a big ol' list!
/ Eben: What about you? / [[Snooch stretches and yawns]]
/ Snooch: Just... http://twolumps.net/d/20100106.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer is sitting on the floor, reading from a piece of paper. Snooch is lying on the couch]]
/ Eben: ...and finally, I resolve not to fall for any more Nigerian "you have won free uranium" scams.
/ Snooch: That's a big ol' list!
/ Eben: What about you? / [[Snooch stretches and yawns]]
/ Snooch: Just... http://twolumps.net/d/20100106.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer is sitting on the floor, looking at the television]]
/ Voice on TV: This just in! Cold weather dominates North America! So much for Global Warming, haw haw haw!
/ Eben: :Yes, that makes sense. It gets cold in winter, so climate change is fake. / Voice on TV: But... but the fake emails!
/ Eben:... http://twolumps.net/d/20100108.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Viewpoint is from outside looking toward a brick building. A tree branch is framing a window. Snooch is looking out the window]] / [[Snooch glances upward, grimacing]]
/ Snooch: BENNY! YOU'RE A LIAR!
/ Ebenezer off panel: ...What?
/ Snooch: THERE'S NOTHING BUT ICE OUT THERE! / [[Viewpoint changes to... http://twolumps.net/d/20100111.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Mom is sitting at the computer]]
/ Mom types: Bio brk, brb guys, lol, etc. / [[Snooch and Ebenezer stare up at the computer monitor after Mom leaves]]
/ Snooch: Now?
/ Eben: NOW! / [[Snooch leaps to the top of the monitor, knocking off various objects]]
/ Snooch: BUCKAROO BANZAI!!!
/ Mom off panel: AUGH!... http://twolumps.net/d/20100113.html |
| Two Lumps | [[TWO LUMPS - Cornflakes in the catnip - From the public files of Hynes/Grant]] / [[Snooch is surprised by a floating flaming skull that speaks.]]
/ Skull: Look upon my glory. / [[Snooch's eyeballs look at the skull.]] / [[Snooch begins to play with the floating flaming skull who then tries to get... http://twolumps.net/d/20100115.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch comes running into the room where Ebenezer is laying on the couch]]
/ Snooch: BENNY! I READ IT ON WIKIPEDIA, SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
/ Eben: Oh, for the love of Set's left hamstring, WHAT?
/ Snooch: WE'RE ALIENS! / [[Snooch sits looking at Ebenezer]]
/ Snooch: There's this planet of cat people, and... http://twolumps.net/d/20100118.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is sitting at the computer, batting repeatedly at the keyboard]]
/ Snooch: HA! Get some!
/ Ebenezer off panel: You're playing an awful lot of those time-management games lately. / [[Ebenezer is sitting looking down at a book]]
/ Ebenezer: "Burger Sprint", "Banana Split Tycoon", "Chocolate Frenzy"...
/ Snooch... http://twolumps.net/d/20100120.html |
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