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| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is off panel, Ebenezer is jumping, extremely startled, above the couch]]
/ Snooch: NYOOOOOWWWWW!!!
/ Ebenezer: GAH! BALROGS! / [[Snooch is sitting in front of couch, Ebenezer is lying on his back on the floor, tail angrily swishing]]
/ Snooch: DUDE! MOM STEPPED ON ME! ON MY TAIL!
/ Ebenezer: I... http://twolumps.net/d/20090701.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is sitting in a dark room looking out the window at a brilliant red fireworks burst]]
/ < http://twolumps.net/d/20090703.html |
| Two Lumps | <<*SLAM*>> / [[Snooch is sitting on kitchen floor]]
/ Snooch: MEEEER!!!
/ Mom off panel: Oh for Pete's sake, Snooch, I was just taking out the garbage. / Snooch: So?
/ Mom: Just because I come through the door doesn't mean you get fed again.
/ Snooch: SINCE WHEN!? http://twolumps.net/d/20090706.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer is approaching Snooch, who is sticking his tongue out at a box of black stringy things on the floor]]
/ Snooch: This licorice is awful!
/ Ebenezer: That's because they're plastic. / Snooch: That's stupid!
/ Ebenezer: It's not candy, zagnut. They're cable ties.
/ Snooch: That's even stupider! / Ebenezer:... http://twolumps.net/d/20090708.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is sitting on the couch, frowning at an open suitcase also on the couch; Ebenezer is on the floor]]
/ Snooch: Mom's going away without us again? No fair!
/ Ebenezer: She's meeting up with other cartoonists at something called "ComicCon". / Snooch: She knows real cartoonists?!
/ Ebenezer [[looking... http://twolumps.net/d/20090710.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch, wearing band with kana over his eyes, is waving his paw over a basket of brown rolls]]
/ Snooch: Great croissant basket! / Snooch: Morsels of flaky goodness. / [[Snooch is now on his back, the basket is empty]]
/ Snooch: Butter-filled stomach. http://twolumps.net/d/20090713.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer, sitting on the couch, is watching Snooch pounce on something on the floor]]
/ Snooch: DIE EVIL SPIDER!
/ Ebenezer: That's not a spider. / Snooch: What is it?
/ Ebenezer: Just a run-of-the-mill chunk of belly button lint. / [[Snooch races out of the room, leaving the lint behind]]
/ Snooch:... http://twolumps.net/d/20090715.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer is sleeping on the couch]]
/ Voice offpanel (Mom?): FAAAAAT KITTAY CAT!
/ Ebenezer: ? / [[Hand scratches Ebenezer's back]]
/ Voice offpanel: FAT FAT FAT CAT! LOOKA THE FAT LITTLE FATTY-FAT KITTY ON THE COUCH, ALL FAT!
/ <<*skritcha* *skritcha*>> / [[Ebenezer is all puffily fluffed out and indignant]]
/ Ebenezer:... http://twolumps.net/d/20090717.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Both cats are on the couch]]
/ Snooch: It's not fair!
/ Ebenezer: What isn't?
/ Snooch: Hurricane season! It's hurricane season again! / Ebenezer: Yes, it happens every year.
/ Snooch: Well, I'm sick of it! Hurricanes! Always hurricanes, hurricanes, HURRICANES! / Ebenezer: Such is the nature of the weather... http://twolumps.net/d/20090720.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer is watching Snooch as he reads from a book]]
/ Snooch: Doooood...
/ Ebenezer: Oh, good. Reading the Animal Facts Book again, I see. / Snooch: Says here that baby beavers are called "kittens".
/ Ebenezer: *sigh* I doubt anyone will confuse the two at a pet store, Snooch. / Snooch: Sounds like... http://twolumps.net/d/20090722.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer and Snooch are sleeping on the couch]]
/ Mom off panel: WHAT? They're NERFING INCINERATE AND CHAOS BOLT? And Felsteeds can be picked up at LEVEL TWENTY? ROGUES GET AXES?? SHENANIGANS! / [[Still on the couch]] / [[Still on the couch]]
/ Snooch: Is Mom on drugs?
/ Ebenezer: Humans are weird. http://twolumps.net/d/20090724.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Couch, each end has only one cat tail visible]]
/ Mom off panel: YOU PEED ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR?
/ Snooch: YAY! Mom's home and She saw what we did!
/ Ebenezer: Our displeasure has been noted! / Mom off panel: JESUS FU... YOU PEED ON EVERYTHING IN THE HOUSE!
/ Snooch: We are AWESOME!
/ Ebenezer: Huzzah!... http://twolumps.net/d/20090727.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer and Snooch are inspecting a litter box. The box's cover is ajar and litter and other objects are scattered all over the floor around it]]
/ Ebenezer: Let's check our work again while she cleans pee. Saturation is pretty close to optimal here. Every inch of the grid has been soaked.
/ Snooch:... http://twolumps.net/d/20090729.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is sitting in front of the TV, looking appalled]]
/ Television: News flash! Ex-contestants say that the show American Idol is rigged! / [[Snooch now looks disgusted]]
/ Television: This just in! Michael Jackson is still dead! More on this in a special report! / [[Snooch walks away]]
/ Television:... http://twolumps.net/d/20090731.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer is on the couch, Snooch is walking in front of it, tail lashing and an angry disgruntled expression]]
/ Snooch: I don' like that new litter Mom got.
/ Ebenezer: It's not there to be pretty, Thunderbutt. It's just pine-based. / [[Snooch sits and frantically waves one front paw]]
/ Snooch: Well... http://twolumps.net/d/20090803.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer is lying on the computer chair]]
/ Snooch off panel: BEN-BEN! You busy right now?
/ Eben: Call me that again and I'll staple your ears to your butt. / [[Snooch looks pleadingly at Eben]]
/ Snooch: Can I PUH-LEEZ use the computer?
/ Eben: I already said no.
/ Snooch: PRETTY-PLEASE?
/ Eben: NO. / [[Snooch... http://twolumps.net/d/20090805.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Three panels laid out side-by-side. Above the left panel: Manuel the Wonder Snail. Above the right panel: J. Grant.]] / [[All three panels show a path in front of shrubbery. In the center panel is a snail in the middle of the path saying: REVENGE!!!]] / [[Under the right panel: Manuel's economy only... http://twolumps.net/d/20090806.html |
| Two Lumps | [[New cellphone (looks like a new iPhone) and box sitting on counter]]
/ Snooch off panel: Mom hasn't been pettin' us enough since she got that new toy! I hate it!
/ Ebenezer off panel: Whatever it is, I think she left it over here. Time to see what infernal device could possibly trump belly rubbins. / [[Ebenezer... http://twolumps.net/d/20090807.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Three panels laid out side-by-side. Above the left panel: Manuel the Wonder Snail.Above the right panel: J. Grant]] / [[All three panels show a path in front of shrubbery. In the center panel a snail is in the middle of the path]] / [[Below the right panel: He's that hardcore]]
/ Please also see strip... http://twolumps.net/d/20090808.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Close-up of keys, sunglasses, assorted paper stuff and a bright, shiny new iPhone with lots of colorful app icons]] / [[Same scene with sound effects of DING DING DING DING DING!!! Phone screen now displays "iMeer Application" "TIME TO PET THE CATS" "CLOSE"]] / [[Snooch and Ebenezer are sitting on... http://twolumps.net/d/20090810.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebeneezer sits on a couch, ears back, watching Snooch playing with something on his back on the floor]]
/ Snooch: WEEEE! WEEE HEE HEE! / [[Closer up, Ebeneezer looks quizzical while Snooch continues to bat his owner's iPhone]]
/ Snooch: Take that! And that! Woo hoo hoo! Yeah, homie! / Ebeneezer:... http://twolumps.net/d/20090812.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Full color photo of Caramon standing on a counter where a sink is filling up with water]]
/ In 1997, Mel Hynes bought a pair of Russian Blue kittens, and named them after the brothers in the Dragonlance series of novels: Raistlin and Caramon.
/ Strangely, they grew into their names. Raist was thinner... http://twolumps.net/d/20090814.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Looking past the back of Ebenezer's head at a television, which shows a map of Florida dangling off the southeast US. A red, orange, and yellow weather storm pattern centers on the west coast of the state]]
/ News announcer: ...with the formation of Tropical Storm Claudette, the 2009 storm season begins. / [[Snooch... http://twolumps.net/d/20090817.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch and Ebenezer are sitting on the couch]]
/ Snooch: So Mom's eatin' sushi, which is raw fish.
/ Eben: That is correct. / Snooch: But it's people food, because it's got rice and soy sauce?
/ Eben: Actually, most dry kibble for cats contains both soy and rice. / Snooch: MOM'S EATIN' OUR FOODS! I'M... http://twolumps.net/d/20090819.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer is reading a book on the floor]]
/ Snooch off panel: The water dish is almost empty!
/ Ebenezer: Yes, I heard you the first nineteen times. Mom will be home soon. / [[Ebenezer looks up at Snooch, who is wearing a spiked collar, helmet with eyeshield/visor and a cloth wrapping on his left front... http://twolumps.net/d/20090821.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer is walking past several scattered bottles]]
/ Eben: "I love soda! I love gravy!" he said. "How could gravy soda NOT be delicious?" he said. / Eben: So, what exactly have we learned today, then?
/ Snooch off panel: Avvertizin' lies. / [[Ebenezer sits near Snooch, who is sprawled on the floor... http://twolumps.net/d/20090824.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is sitting on a raised surface, eyes wide open, Ebenezer's eyes are showing at the edge]]
/ Snooch: BENNY. OMG. WE HAVE ANOTHER FLOOR.
/ Eben: Huh, Mom got a new tile-topped dining table. Tres chic. / Snooch: THE TABLE IS MADE OF THE FLOOR, BENNY.
/ Eben: Well, yes, it's made of flooring tiles... http://twolumps.net/d/20090826.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Close-up: Snooch has a headband, with kanji on it, covering his eyes. The background is blue]]
/ Snooch: Solid mountain stands. / Snooch: Icy winds blast up its peaks! / [[Scene pulls back to show Snooch sitting on a vent and Ebenezer's face at the right]]
/ Snooch: But stone is unmoved.
/ Eben: Get... http://twolumps.net/d/20090828.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer approaches Snooch, who has his face stuffed into a bowl]]
/ Eben: Ice cream again? Ever heard of feline diabetes?
/ Snooch: Yup. The innernet sez it means you get ta eat gooshyfood f'r every meal! / [[Ebenezer sits and glares at Snooch]] / [[Ebenezer sits in the computer chair and stares at... http://twolumps.net/d/20090831.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer and Snooch are frowning at an open letter on the floor]]
/ Snooch: Dagnabbit! I don't wanna get my teeths cleaned!
/ Eben: Well, we're due whether you like it or not.
/ Snooch: NOT! / [[Snooch walks away]]
/ Eben: You'd rather your teeth fell out? Not a good choice.
/ Snooch: Nuh-uh! I gots it... http://twolumps.net/d/20090902.html |
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