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| Two Lumps | [[Snooch in the closed litter box]]
/ Snooch: AAAAUGH! BENNY! GET MOM! QUICK! / [[Ebenezer walking up, remembering an earlier conversation]]
/ Snooch: AUUUUUUGH! *gasp* *pant*
/ Ebenezer: "Those are not giant raisins," says I. "Those are prunes." / [[Ebenezer looking at the litter box]]
/ Ebenezer: "You're... http://twolumps.net/d/20080111.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Mom standing in her bathrobe as Ebeneezer looks up at her]]
/ Mom: Dang! we're out of gooshyfood!
/ Ebenezer: < http://twolumps.net/d/20080114.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer looks at Snooch, who is lying on a coat on the floor]]
/ Eben: Why the deuce are you rolling on Mom's new leather coat? Are you suicidal?!
/ Snooch: 'Cause it's stinky! It'll get me the ladies!
/ Eben: What?! / Snooch: The nature show said so! It's fur-mones or somethin'!
/ Eben: Rolling in scent... http://twolumps.net/d/20080116.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer approaches Snooch, who is sitting looking at a paper on the floor with a marker next to it. Snooch's fur is bristling erect]]
/ Snooch: BENNY! ACCORDING TO MY PLANNER I'VE MISSED A DAY!
/ Eben: You probably slept through it, Rip Van Hairball. / Snooch: YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. I'VE BEEN USING... http://twolumps.net/d/20080118.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Mom has just come home from work; Ebenezer is licking himself, while Snooch is whining for pettins.]]
/ <<*slam!*>>
/ Mom: Man, what a day!
/ Snooch: *whine whine whine* MoooOOooOOmmm, I wants the pettins!
/ Ebenezer: You may recall, last time this ended with a shoe in your snoot.
/ {{Reference to this... http://twolumps.net/d/20080121.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is looking up at Ebenezer, who is sitting in a chair in front of the computer, tapping at the keyboard]]
/ Snooch: I get to play next!
/ Eben: It's not a game, picklebrain. I'm sick of stealing Mom's credit card so I'm getting my own. / Snooch: We can DO THAT?!
/ Eben: Sure, it happens all the... http://twolumps.net/d/20080123.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is walking past the couch which Ebenezer is lying on]]
/ Sound off panel: *trickle trickle*
/ Eben: What's that noise?
/ Snooch: Mom got one-a those waterfall thingies! / Eben: A zen fountain? Hunh, Mom always seemed more goth than new age.
/ Snooch: Yeah, and I dunno why she put it in the closet,... http://twolumps.net/d/20080125.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Continuing story about leaky water heater. Snooch and Ebenezer are both on the couch, escaping the spreading puddle]]
/ Eben: Great. So the water heater's leaking everywhere, and Mom's at work.
/ Snooch: WE'RE ALL GONNA DIEEEE! / Eben: The water's not going to get up here. All we have to worry about... http://twolumps.net/d/20080128.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Continuing story about leaky water heater. Ebenezer and Snooch are on the couch, escaping from the growing pool of water]]
/ Snooch: So can't the light pilot guy airlift us outta here?
/ Eben: No, the pilot light is... nevermind. We've got to turn the gas off, but we can't get to it through the water! / [[Snooch... http://twolumps.net/d/20080130.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Last in continuing story about leaky water heater. Snooch and Ebenezer are on the couch, escaping from the pool of water on the floor]]
/ Mom off panel: Hello, maintenance? Your old, cheap water heater just split and soaked my entire apartment!
/ Eben: Well, at least that's over with. Now we just have... http://twolumps.net/d/20080201.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer and Snooch are curled on the floor, peacefully sleeping]] / [[Ebenezer's eyes widen in extreme agitation, and Snooch's tail waves]] / [[Ebenezer sits up and glares at Snooch]]
/ Eben: You farted in my personal space!
/ Snooch: Did not.
/ Eben: I felt it on the back of my neck!
/ Snooch: Probably... http://twolumps.net/d/20080204.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Mom is walking past Snooch and Ebenezer, who are lying on the floor]]
/ Mom: Blah blah blah election blah blah primaries blah...
/ Eben: Blast!
/ Snooch: Darn it! / [[Mom walks out of the room]]
/ Mom off panel: Blah blah Super Tuesday blah...
/ Eben: IF YOU HAVE TIME TO TALK POLITICS, YOU HAVE TIME TO... http://twolumps.net/d/20080206.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is watching as Ebenezer taps a pointer on a pie chart hanging on the wall]]
/ Eben: Okay. In the USA, humans ostensibly have a two-party system, although some--
/ Snooch: I don't get it. / [[Ebenezer glares at Snooch]]
/ Eben: "Ostensibly" means--
/ Snooch: No, not that.
/ Eben: Okay, TWO is more... http://twolumps.net/d/20080208.html |
| Two Lumps | Mom is walking past the couch upon which Ebenezer and Snooch are lying]]
/ Mom: Dinner and Theater for Valentine's Day? You're too sweet!
/ Eben: Everyone should be with their true love on Valentine's Day.
/ Snooch: The TV?
/ Eben: Nightmare, you fool!*
/ *SEE MAY 2005 - ED / Snooch: Well, she IS the only... http://twolumps.net/d/20080211.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Continuing story about Ebenezer searching for Nightmare for Valentine's Day. Eben and Snooch are walking in front of the couch]]
/ Eben: Yes! We shall leave immediately!
/ Snooch: Um... aren't ya forgettin' something? / [[Both cats sit]]
/ Eben: I know, I don't have a gift, but I figure I can catch her... http://twolumps.net/d/20080213.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Continuing story about Ebenezer searching for Nightmare for Valentine's Day. The entire strip is done as solid black silhouettes. Ebenezer and Snooch, who is wearing his Portable Ceiling, jump out a window over a shrub]]
/ Eben: And... OUT THE WINDOW!
/ Snooch: YOINKS, AND AWAYYYY! / [[Both cats are... http://twolumps.net/d/20080215.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Continuing story about Ebenezer searching for Nightmare for Valentine's Day. Eben and Snooch are in an alley with a fence as background. A dark cat with white front paws is jumping onto a garbage can]]
/ Eben: ...so we keep looking. How big can a town be, anyway?
/ Alley cat: Big enough to starve in,... http://twolumps.net/d/20080218.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Continuing story about Ebenezer searching for Nightmare for Valentine's Day. Ebenezer and Snooch are sitting in an alley talking with Tasslehoff, an alley cat sitting on a garbage can]]
/ Tasslehoff: So why are you housecats out in the real world?
/ Eben: Hey! Who says we're--
/ Snooch: We're lookin'... http://twolumps.net/d/20080220.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Continuing story about Ebenezer searching for Nightmare for Valentine's Day. Ebenezer and Snooch are in a dark alley with Tasslehoff, an alley cat. They are approaching a dumpster surrounded by piles of garbage bags]]
/ Eben: So if you're so "street smart", where do you get food?
/ Tasslehoff: Ah, welcome... http://twolumps.net/d/20080222.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Continuing story about Ebenezer searching for Nightmare for Valentine's Day. Tasslehoff, an alley cat, and Snooch are walking in an alley]]
/ Snooch: Uh, it's gettin' dark.
/ Tasslehoff: How observant of you. That's why we're heading for higher ground. / [[Tasslehoff and Ebenezer jump on top of some... http://twolumps.net/d/20080225.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Continuing story about Ebenezer searching for Nightmare for Valentine's Day. Ebenezer and Snooch are huddling in a pile of boxes in an alley. Tasslehoff, an alley cat, is out of sight in a box. It's raining]]
/ Snooch: Benny, this sucks! I wanna go home!
/ Eben: We're not going anywhere until this rain... http://twolumps.net/d/20080227.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Last in continuing story about Ebenezer searching for Nightmare for Valentine's Day. Snooch is looking up at Ebenezer, who is yawning on the couch]]
/ Eben: Home at last! I think I could sleep for a week.
/ Snooch: Sorry we didn't find your girlfriend. / [[Snooch joins Ebenezer on the couch]]
/ Eben:... http://twolumps.net/d/20080229.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Closeup of Snooch wearing his Zen headband]]
/ Snooch: Om ma ken na fi ma tun.
/ {{Translation: Oh, I can not feel my tongue.}} / [[Ebenezer walks up]]
/ Ebenezer: That's not even a real mantra, you know.
/ Snooch: En ah ken na fi ma nuz.
/ {{Translation: And I can not feel my nose.}} / [[Ebenezer keeps... http://twolumps.net/d/20080303.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Closeup of Snooch wearing his Zen headband]]
/ Snooch: Om ma ken na fi ma tun.
/ {{Translation: Oh, I can not feel my tongue.}} / [[Ebenezer walks up]]
/ Ebenezer: That's not even a real mantra, you know.
/ Snooch: En ah ken na fi ma nuz.
/ {{Translation: And I can not feel my nose.}} / [[Ebenezer keeps... http://twolumps.net/d/20080303.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer approaches Snooch, who is sitting looking at a book with colorful illustrations]]
/ Snooch: WHOA.
/ Eben: What's got you so enthralled, an all-bacon cookbook? / Snooch: Nuh-uh, it's true! About two guys on this journey of inner vision!
/ Eben: It's "Green Eggs and Ham," Snooch. It's children's... http://twolumps.net/d/20080305.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch and Ebenezer are watching TV]]
/ First voice on TV (Henrietta): Let's follow Mr. Trolley to the Neighborhood of Make-Believe!
/ Second voice on TV (King Friday): Henrietta Pussycat, I presume?
/ Henrietta: Meow meow, King Friday meow! / King: Henrietta, the Kingdom is desperately in need of money!
/ Henrietta:... http://twolumps.net/d/20080307.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer is sleeping on the couch]] / [[Snooch races past Ebenezer on the couch]]
/ Snooch: THE ROOF IS ON FIRE AND THE FIRE DEPARTMENT ISN'T GONNA PUT IT OUT! / Snooch off panel: THEY'RE JUST SITTING AROUND WAVING THEIR HANDS LIKE THEY DON'T CARE!
/ Eben: No more radio for you, Snooch. http://twolumps.net/d/20080310.html |
| Two Lumps | [Snooch is on the floor, looking up at Ebenezer on the couch; Ebenezer lies on his side, his back to the viewer]
/ Snooch: Benny! Come quick! Mom left some clothes out! I'm-a lie on 'em!
/ Ebenezer: You go right ahead. Weirdo. / Snooch [now out of the panel]: She even put 'em on lil cat hammocks for us... http://twolumps.net/d/20080312.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer approaches Snooch, who is crouching on the floor chewing on a green pen. Another green pen has already been chewed open, while several others are in a pile nearby]]
/ Eben: ...know... better... but... must ...ask...
/ Snooch: I'm gonna control the TV with my BRAIN! / Eben: Ink fumes give you... http://twolumps.net/d/20080314.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer finds Snooch, sick from a night of partying]]
/ Ebenezer: Well, well! Tied one on last night in celebration of our fourth year online, did we?
/ Snooch: We? I don't remember sharing my booze with you. / [[Ebenezer starts grooming himself; Snooch glances at him]]
/ Ebenezer: That's because you... http://twolumps.net/d/20080317.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer approaches Snooch, who is wearing a chef's hat and standing by something unidentifiable]]
/ Snooch: Benn-neee! Try some!
/ Ebenezer: Please. Your culinary abominations always smell like old tires... wait, that's cumin... and is that smoked paprika?! / [[Ebenezer eats some, while Snooch's chef... http://twolumps.net/d/20080319.html |
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