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| Two Lumps | [[Kitty litter box (enclosed) by itself]]
/ Snooch: < http://twolumps.net/d/20051121.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch reading a newspaper in front of the couch]]
/ Snooch: Says here that cat urine glows under black light. / [[Idea comes to Snooch]] / [[Ebenezer flying in from off-screen, right at Snooch]]
/ Snooch: We should have a rave. http://twolumps.net/d/20051123.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch eating messily from a bowl, Ebenezer behind him]]
/ Ebenezer: What's up? Why are you pigging out?
/ Snooch: I saw the turkey Mom got for the holidays and it's kinda small.
/ Snooch: < http://twolumps.net/d/20051125.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch with a harmonica in his mouth]]
/ < http://twolumps.net/d/20051128.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch with a stick in his mouth]]
/ Ebenezer: ...tell me you don't have a plan to catch beavers.
/ Snooch: No no! I saw these guys on TV who waved pointy sticks around and it did MAGIC! And they were all famous and stuff! It looks easy!
/ Ebenezer: *sigh* Magic isn't real, Snooch. / [[Snooch swings... http://twolumps.net/d/20051130.html |
| Two Lumps | Snooch: BENNY. BEN. NY.
/ Ebenezer: What's up, Jabba?
/ Snooch: I can't find the catbox.
/ Ebenezer: That's probably because Mom threw it out today. / Snooch: WHAT
/ Ebenezer: She said it was too smelly and chucked it. It'll be another ten before she gets back with a new one.
/ Snooch: BUT I HAVE TO POOP.
/ Ebenezer:... http://twolumps.net/d/20051202.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch looks depressed, sitting in front of the couch with an open book behind him]]
/ Snooch: How can we get over this problem?
/ Ebenezer: What's the crisis for today, tubbo?
/ Snooch: The book, Eben. / [[Ebenezer reads the book]]
/ Ebenezer: "The color of the points in Siamese cats is heat related.... http://twolumps.net/d/20051205.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer sitting on the counter in the bathroom]]
/ Mom: Dammit, Ebenezer, why do you always have to watch me pee?
/ <<*FLUSH*>>
/ Ebenezer: No sand? Disgusting. / [[Mom walks by him]]
/ Mom: I swear, you're the weirdest cat on earth.
/ Ebenezer: You didn't even bury it. Revolting. / Ebenezer: It's easy... http://twolumps.net/d/20051207.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer walking along, clouds of smoke roiling above him]]
/ Ebenezer: Holy chickpeas, what is that stench? Mom's not here, it can't be her cooking... / [[The clouds of smoke are coming from a floor heater, which Snooch is sitting in front of]]
/ Ebenezer: What the deuce are you doing, burning the... http://twolumps.net/d/20051209.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch sitting at the computer]]
/ Snooch: Mom left her email open again.
/ Ebenezer: Yay. / Snooch: Guh... Gosharootie.
/ Ebenezer: What's up? / Snooch: "SUBJECT: CLICK HERE FOR WET, STRETCHED, HAMMERED..."
/ Ebenezer: That doesn't mean what you think it means.
/ Snooch: Poor kitty. http://twolumps.net/d/20051212.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Mom walking around, Snooch playing with the decorations on the Christmas tree]]
/ Mom: There! The tree's finally all decorated. I think this calls for a little holiday music, right guys?
/ Snooch: And then we get eggnog! Yay! / [[Snooch reacting in fright]]
/ < |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch with a Santa hat on, an empty box of eggnog next to him and puddles of eggnog all around]]
/ Snooch: *hic* I'm brilliant!
/ Ebenezer: What on earth... did you get into the spiked eggnog?
/ Snooch: Yesh! Well, a lil'. But look! / Ebenezer: Eggnog all over the walls. Congratulations.
/ Snooch: It... http://twolumps.net/d/20051216.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer reading from a book "Songs for Xmas"]]
/ Ebenezer: Okay, I think we're ready. Quiz time: "Little Dumber Boy"?
/ Snooch: DRUMMER Boy.
/ Ebenezer: "A Weigh-In of Mange"?
/ Snooch: Away in a Manger. / Ebenezer: Excellent! You've made real progress, Snooch. Looks like you're finally getting the... http://twolumps.net/d/20051219.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch walking, very "happy"]]
/ Ebenezer: 'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
/ AND ALL THROUGH THE HOUSE,
/ NOT A CREATURE WAS STIRRING,
/ SAVE FOR SNOOCH, WHO WAS SOUSED.
/ Snooch: *HIC!* / [[Snooch looking at the cupboards]]
/ Ebenezer: HE'D DRUNK ALL THE EGGNOG,
/ NOW FOR FOOD ON THE PROWL;
/ PERCHED... http://twolumps.net/d/20051221.html |
| Two Lumps | Ebenezer: HE SAID NOT A WORD,
/ BUT LEAPT STRAIGHT FOR THE GRUB.
/ I'M AMAZED HE GOT CLEARANCE,
/ THE GINORMOUS TUB.
/ Snooch: HEY! / Ebenezer: HE HAD A BROAD RUMP,
/ HIS FURRY WEIGHT HIT THE WALL;
/ SHELVES BEND, THEN CRASH AWAY!
/ CRASH AWAY, CRASH AWAY ALL! / Ebenezer: AND I HEARD HIM EXCLAIM,
/ AS WE TUCKED... http://twolumps.net/d/20051223.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer and Snooch sitting in front of wrapping paper, Ebenezer with a crazed grin on his face, Snooch looking nervous]]
/ Ebenezer: HEY, SNOOCH!
/ Snooch: Uh... what?
/ Ebenezer: WRAPPING! / [[Ebenezer shredding the wrapping paper to bits]]
/ Snooch: Yeah!!!!
/ Ebenezer: WRAPPING! WRAPPING! WRAPPING!... http://twolumps.net/d/20051226.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer sitting on the couch, eyes closed]]
/ Ebenezer: To sleep, perchance to dream / < http://twolumps.net/d/20051228.html |
| Two Lumps | Ebenezer: *yawn* Well, I'd call that a pretty successful holiday. How was your haul?
/ Snooch: Great! I 'specially liked the catnip mousie you got me. Thanks! / Ebenezer: Catnip... Snooch, that was a REAL frozen mouse
/ from a medical order company. You were supposed to eat it!
/ Snooch: Um. Oops.
/ Ebenezer:... http://twolumps.net/d/20051230.html |
| Two Lumps | Snooch: OWWWW, my head.
/ Ebenezer: Suffering the consequences of New Year's, I see. Makes me glad I turned in early.
/ Snooch: It was a good party though! / Ebenezer: Do tell.
/ Snooch: Well, there was lotsa drinks, and music, and dancin', and I tried to eat some mistletoe but I couldn't jump high... http://twolumps.net/d/20060102.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer reading a letter that is spread out on the floor.]]
/ Ebenezer: "Dear Feline Council Member,
/ We are risking contact only due to gravest circumstances, destroy this missive after reading, blah blah..." / Ebenezer: "... surveillance has noted that only 99.8% of your household surfaces are marked... http://twolumps.net/d/20060104.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer is sitting in front of a computer, typing with one paw]]
/ Ebenezer: Dear Sirs, I am writing to point out a glaring error in your otherwise delightful book, '1,000 Fun Facts About Cats'.
/ < http://twolumps.net/d/20060106.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Eben on couch looking left, Snooch on floor, back to reader]]
/ Snooch: Benny, where's Mom?
/ Snooch: Why isn't she here?
/ Snooch: Petting us?
/ Ebenezer: She went out with that... boyfriend... http://twolumps.net/d/20060109.html |
| Two Lumps | Visitor: What the... Hey, why did your cats pee on my backpack!?
/ Narrator: FACT: The human body is composed of approximately 60% water. / Visitor: Aw man! They got my jacket too!
/ Narrator: FACT: A cat's body, however, is composed of approximately 75% water. / Visitor: They peed IN my shampoo? How... http://twolumps.net/d/20060111.html |
| Two Lumps | {{Title: A mystery of the ages: Can God make a cat that is so lazy even He cannot lift it?}}
/ [[God looking at a cat sleeping on his throne]]
/ God: Oh, for My sake... Cat, I've only been gone 30 seconds to get a soda. Don't act like you were there first. Hey! Are you listening to me?!
/ Cat: < http://twolumps.net/d/20060113.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer is sitting, staring at Snooch, who is lying on the floor.]]
/ Ebenezer: I threw your favorite toy mouse down the toilet just now.
/ Snooch: Right on!
/ Ebenezer: I also hid all the gooshy food where you'll never find it.
/ Snooch: Okey Doke! / Ebenezer: Now I'm going to eat all the food in our... http://twolumps.net/d/20060116.html |
| Two Lumps | Mom: Ow! Snooch, don't bump me when I'm plucking my eyebrows. I've got a big night tonight.
/ Snooch: Aww. ...hey, wait a sec. Din't that book say... / Book: Cat Fact #981: In ancient Egypt, the entire family would shave their eyebrows off as a sign of mourning when the family cat died. / Snooch:... http://twolumps.net/d/20060118.html |
| Two Lumps | Ebenezer: And STRETCH, 2, 3, 4... CLAW, 2, 3, 4...
/ Mom: My sofa! That's the last straw!
/ Snooch: Wuh oh. / Mom: This time I'm breaking out the big guns!
/ Ebenezer: Help! Mercy! No declawing! I'll reform, I swear! / Superscript: (ONE LARGE SCUFFLE LATER) / [[Eben is stuffed into pink booties, looking... http://twolumps.net/d/20060120.html |
| Two Lumps | Ebenezer: Let's see... "Congratulations! You've purchased Kit-E Boot-Eze, the new alternative to declawing!" Hmf. Snooch, go find Mom's purse. We're going to give a sign of our displeasure. / Ebenezer: "Your cat will never know they're on!" Ha.
/ Snooch: Found it!
/ Ebenezer: Excellent! Prepare to... http://twolumps.net/d/20060123.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer, wearing pink booties, is reading from a flyer on the floor. Snooch is walking away]]
/ Eben: Let's see... "Congratulations! You've purchased Kit-E Boot-Eze, the newest alternative to declawing!" Hmf. Snooch, go find Mom's purse. We're going to give a sign of our displeasure. / Eben: "Your... http://twolumps.net/d/20060124.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch pulling a pink bootie off Eben's foot with his teeth]]
/ Ebenezer: Excellent! I'm almost free of these blasted pink contraptions.
/ Snooch: YUPH! /
/ Ebenezer: Just go hide it with the others, and we'll be scot-free.
/ Snooch: *GULP* Hide it?
/ Ebenezer: Yes, with the other three... what did you... http://twolumps.net/d/20060125.html |
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