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| Two Lumps | {{SNOOCH HAIKU THEATER}} / [[Snooch is sitting, headband with Japanese character is wrapped around his eyes]]
/ Snooch: Day fades into night. / [[Mom removes headband]]
/ Mom: Give me that, Snooch! Good grief! How did you get that wrapped around your head?
/ Snooch: HEY! / [[Snooch's eyebrows angle ... http://twolumps.net/d/20090213.html |
| Two Lumps | {{SNOOCH HAIKU THEATER}} / [[Snooch is sitting, headband with Japanese character is wrapped around his eyes]]
/ Snooch: Day fades into night. / [[Mom removes headband]]
/ Mom: Give me that, Snooch! Good grief! How did you get that wrapped around your head?
/ Snooch: HEY! / [[Snooch's eyebrows angle ... http://twolumps.net/d/20090213.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch and Ebenezer are sitting on both sides of an object consisting of a bobbing bird taped to a Speak n Spell]]
/ Ebenezer: I've done it!
/ Snooch: But toys were already invented.
/ Ebenezer: No, you fool. I have harnessed the Speak N Spell for a greater purpose! I give you... the simulated child! / Snooch:... http://twolumps.net/d/20090216.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch and Ebenezer are sitting on both sides of an object consisting of a bobbing bird taped to a Speak n Spell]]
/ Ebenezer: I've done it!
/ Snooch: But toys were already invented.
/ Ebenezer: No, you fool. I have harnessed the Speak N Spell for a greater purpose! I give you... the simulated child! / Snooch:... http://twolumps.net/d/20090216.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer approaches Snooch, who is sitting in the food cupboard]]
/ Snooch: Hey, these guys spelled "crab" wrong! Even I know how to spell that!
/ Ebenezer: That's not a typo, that's marketing. / [[Cans of food above Snooch's head are labeled with mirror image of "gooshi"]]
/ Snooch: Huh?
/ Ebenezer:... http://twolumps.net/d/20090218.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer approaches Snooch, who is sitting in the food cupboard]]
/ Snooch: Hey, these guys spelled "crab" wrong! Even I know how to spell that!
/ Ebenezer: That's not a typo, that's marketing. / [[Cans of food above Snooch's head are labeled with mirror image of "gooshi"]]
/ Snooch: Huh?
/ Ebenezer:... http://twolumps.net/d/20090218.html |
| Two Lumps | Mom: Okay guys, hold off before the next pull, I'll BRB. And Eben, if you steal my chair again I'm locking your fuzzy butt in the bathroom. / Mom: Okay guys, I'm baAAAAAAGH GOD I JUST SAT IN CAT VOMIT!
/ Ebenezer: If I can't have it, nobody can. http://twolumps.net/d/20090220.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer discovers Snooch, looking sick, sitting next to a bottle of pink liquid labeled NEMO with a gift-card attached]]
/ Ebenezer: What the daft Dickens is this all about?
/ Snooch: MOM BROUGHT EVIL INTO THE HOUSE, BENNY. / [[Ebenezer reads the gift card]]
/ Ebenezer: "Nemo. A new sparkling vodka... http://twolumps.net/d/20090223.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer discovers Snooch, looking sick, sitting next to a bottle of pink liquid labeled NEMO with a gift-card attached]]
/ Ebenezer: What the daft Dickens is this all about?
/ Snooch: MOM BROUGHT EVIL INTO THE HOUSE, BENNY. / [[Ebenezer reads the gift card]]
/ Ebenezer: "Nemo. A new sparkling vodka... http://twolumps.net/d/20090223.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer discovers Snooch, looking sick, sitting next to a bottle of pink liquid labeled NEMO with a gift-card attached]]
/ Ebenezer: What the daft Dickens is this all about?
/ Snooch: MOM BROUGHT EVIL INTO THE HOUSE, BENNY. / [[Ebenezer reads the gift card]]
/ Ebenezer: "Nemo. A new sparkling vodka... http://twolumps.net/d/20090223.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer stares at Snooch, who looks annoyed and has a black cross on his forehead]]
/ Ebenezer: Huh. Celebrating Ash Wednesday, then?
/ Snooch: Maybe. / [[Snooch looks to the side]]
/ Ebenezer: So what are you repenting for?
/ Snooch: Um. Eatin' too much. An' hairballs. An' stuff. / [[Ebenezer looks... http://twolumps.net/d/20090225.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer stares at Snooch, who looks annoyed and has a black cross on his forehead]]
/ Ebenezer: Huh. Celebrating Ash Wednesday, then?
/ Snooch: Maybe. / [[Snooch looks to the side]]
/ Ebenezer: So what are you repenting for?
/ Snooch: Um. Eatin' too much. An' hairballs. An' stuff. / [[Ebenezer looks... http://twolumps.net/d/20090225.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch, wearing a bowtie and sitting next to an open box and spool of ribbon]]
/ Snooch: Benny! Come see the present I got for Mom!
/ Ebenezer: [[off panel]] Is it going to explode?
/ Snooch: I doubt it! / [[Ebenezer joins Snooch]]
/ Snooch: Member how on Valentines we saw that ad for the edible underthingys... http://twolumps.net/d/20090227.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch, wearing a bowtie and sitting next to an open box and spool of ribbon]]
/ Snooch: Benny! Come see the present I got for Mom!
/ Ebenezer: [[off panel]] Is it going to explode?
/ Snooch: I doubt it! / [[Ebenezer joins Snooch]]
/ Snooch: Member how on Valentines we saw that ad for the edible underthingys... http://twolumps.net/d/20090227.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Two figures dressed in clock-related super-hero costumes]]
/ First figure: THIS CLOCK IS NOW SYNCHRONIZED, TYMECS MAN!
/ Tymecs Man: AND YET SOMEONE KEEPS MAKING THEM ALL RUN FAST, THROUGHOUT THE CITY! / Tymecs Man: IT CAN MEAN ONLY ONE THING... ...WE ARE BEING WATCHED! / [[Ebenezer faces Snooch]]
/ Ebenezer:... http://twolumps.net/d/20090302.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Two figures dressed in clock-related super-hero costumes]]
/ First figure: THIS CLOCK IS NOW SYNCHRONIZED, TYMECS MAN!
/ Tymecs Man: AND YET SOMEONE KEEPS MAKING THEM ALL RUN FAST, THROUGHOUT THE CITY! / Tymecs Man: IT CAN MEAN ONLY ONE THING... ...WE ARE BEING WATCHED! / [[Ebenezer faces Snooch]]
/ Ebenezer:... http://twolumps.net/d/20090302.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Two figures dressed in clock-related super-hero costumes]]
/ First figure: THIS CLOCK IS NOW SYNCHRONIZED, TYMECS MAN!
/ Tymecs Man: AND YET SOMEONE KEEPS MAKING THEM ALL RUN FAST, THROUGHOUT THE CITY! / Tymecs Man: IT CAN MEAN ONLY ONE THING... ...WE ARE BEING WATCHED! / [[Ebenezer faces Snooch]]
/ Ebenezer:... http://twolumps.net/d/20090302.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch, fur bristling, stares at the dryer, which is open and has one paw coming out of it]]
/ Snooch: BENNY? That was YOU in the dryer all this time?
/ Ebenezer: WHO DID YOU THINK IT WAS YOU BEAM IN THE EYE OF JEHOSEPHAT? I was screaming and banging around! Why didn't you GET MET OUT? / [[Ebenezer... http://twolumps.net/d/20090304.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch, fur bristling, stares at the dryer, which is open and has one paw coming out of it]]
/ Snooch: BENNY? That was YOU in the dryer all this time?
/ Ebenezer: WHO DID YOU THINK IT WAS YOU BEAM IN THE EYE OF JEHOSEPHAT? I was screaming and banging around! Why didn't you GET MET OUT? / [[Ebenezer... http://twolumps.net/d/20090304.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch, fur bristling, stares at the dryer, which is open and has one paw coming out of it]]
/ Snooch: BENNY? That was YOU in the dryer all this time?
/ Ebenezer: WHO DID YOU THINK IT WAS YOU BEAM IN THE EYE OF JEHOSEPHAT? I was screaming and banging around! Why didn't you GET MET OUT? / [[Ebenezer... http://twolumps.net/d/20090304.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer, sitting on the couch, minding his own business]] / [[There is a large explosion from somewhere off-screen, sending pieces of something flying and causing Ebenezer to jump with fright]]
/ < http://twolumps.net/d/20090306.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer, sitting on the couch, minding his own business]] / [[There is a large explosion from somewhere off-screen, sending pieces of something flying and causing Ebenezer to jump with fright]]
/ < http://twolumps.net/d/20090306.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer, sitting on the couch, minding his own business]] / [[There is a large explosion from somewhere off-screen, sending pieces of something flying and causing Ebenezer to jump with fright]]
/ < http://twolumps.net/d/20090306.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Eben, in bristled amazement, looks at Snooch who is dressed in a long-sleeved blue shirt with maroon tie, and wearing a mask of a human male]]
/ Snooch: MORTGAGE CRISIS!
/ Ebenezer: WHAT IN THE NAME OF ANUBIS'S SPAGHETTI PLATE?
/ Snooch: I'm a SKINNY now! / Ebenezer: You're a what?
/ Snooch: I'm part... http://twolumps.net/d/20090309.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Eben, in bristled amazement, looks at Snooch who is dressed in a long-sleeved blue shirt with maroon tie, and wearing a mask of a human male]]
/ Snooch: MORTGAGE CRISIS!
/ Ebenezer: WHAT IN THE NAME OF ANUBIS'S SPAGHETTI PLATE?
/ Snooch: I'm a SKINNY now! / Ebenezer: You're a what?
/ Snooch: I'm part... http://twolumps.net/d/20090309.html |
| Two Lumps | Snooch: MeFi is like your own personal internets... IN CYBER SPACE ! / [[Snooch stands on his hind legs, about to stomp on a toy house and car, as Ebenezer enters on all fours]]
/ Snooch: Hee !
/ Ebenezer: Are you ripping jokes off of other websites?
/ Snooch: That would be content theft ! / [[Ebenezer... http://twolumps.net/d/20090311.html |
| Two Lumps | Snooch: MeFi is like your own personal internets... IN CYBER SPACE ! / [[Snooch stands on his hind legs, about to stomp on a toy house and car, as Ebenezer enters on all fours]]
/ Snooch: Hee !
/ Ebenezer: Are you ripping jokes off of other websites?
/ Snooch: That would be content theft ! / [[Ebenezer... http://twolumps.net/d/20090311.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Eben walks toward Snooch who is watching TV]]
/ Snooch: BENNY. WE NEED TO GO TO LONDON.
/ Ebenezer: Oh good. The Travel Channel's perfected hypnosis. / [[Ebenezer washes himself]]
/ Ebenezer: Here's why not. It's cold. It's always some form of wet. It's crowded. It's polluted. It's- / [[Both now stare... http://twolumps.net/d/20090313.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Eben walks toward Snooch who is watching TV]]
/ Snooch: BENNY. WE NEED TO GO TO LONDON.
/ Ebenezer: Oh good. The Travel Channel's perfected hypnosis. / [[Ebenezer washes himself]]
/ Ebenezer: Here's why not. It's cold. It's always some form of wet. It's crowded. It's polluted. It's- / [[Both now stare... http://twolumps.net/d/20090313.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Beside a running tap in the bathroom]]
/ Snooch: Five years now online. / [[Photograph of a river with a whooping crane in it]]]
/ Snooch: Time flows, a swift, silent stream. / [[Bathroom sink overflows]]
/ Snooch: ...why I gotta pee? http://twolumps.net/d/20090316.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Beside a running tap in the bathroom]]
/ Snooch: Five years now online. / [[Photograph of a river with a whooping crane in it]]]
/ Snooch: Time flows, a swift, silent stream. / [[Bathroom sink overflows]]
/ Snooch: ...why I gotta pee? http://twolumps.net/d/20090316.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch races past Ebenezer who is on the couch]]
/ Snooch: GIVES YOU WINGS! WOOP WOOP WOOP!
/ Ebenezer: Good grief, not again... / [[Ebenezer stares after Snooch]]
/ Ebenezer: For the last time, those energy drinks are NOT meant for feline consumption. They can't be good for you. / [[Snooch is embedded... http://twolumps.net/d/20090318.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch races past Ebenezer who is on the couch]]
/ Snooch: GIVES YOU WINGS! WOOP WOOP WOOP!
/ Ebenezer: Good grief, not again... / [[Ebenezer stares after Snooch]]
/ Ebenezer: For the last time, those energy drinks are NOT meant for feline consumption. They can't be good for you. / [[Snooch is embedded... http://twolumps.net/d/20090318.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Eben is on couch]]
/ Snooch: [[off panel]] BENNY! Someone put bad email in the pantry!
/ Ebenezer: What? No, that's the real thing. Spam. Humans buy it. / [[Snooch sticks head in room]]
/ Snooch: What's a "pork buy-project?"
/ Ebenezer: Pork BY-PRODUCT. Parts of dead pigs that nobody else wanted to use... http://twolumps.net/d/20090320.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Eben is on couch]]
/ Snooch: [[off panel]] BENNY! Someone put bad email in the pantry!
/ Ebenezer: What? No, that's the real thing. Spam. Humans buy it. / [[Snooch sticks head in room]]
/ Snooch: What's a "pork buy-project?"
/ Ebenezer: Pork BY-PRODUCT. Parts of dead pigs that nobody else wanted to use... http://twolumps.net/d/20090320.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer is glaring at Snooch, who has dumped the garbage can over and is inspecting the garbage]]
/ Ebenezer: I'd say mom is going to kill you, but this time I think she'll just settle for chasing you around the house with a spatula again.
/ Snooch: SILENCE! I am finding the treasure! / Ebenezer: Looking... http://twolumps.net/d/20090323.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer is glaring at Snooch, who has dumped the garbage can over and is inspecting the garbage]]
/ Ebenezer: I'd say mom is going to kill you, but this time I think she'll just settle for chasing you around the house with a spatula again.
/ Snooch: SILENCE! I am finding the treasure! / Ebenezer: Looking... http://twolumps.net/d/20090323.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch and Ebenezer are dressed in purple and gold rapper/pimp outfits]]
/ Jointly: YO. GO TO STONEGARDEN.NET AND PRE-ORDER THE THIRD TWO LUMPS COLLECTION! IF YOU DO IT BY THE END OF MARCH 2009, YOU GET HALF-OFF THE COVER PRICE! DO IT NOW! WORD! http://twolumps.net/d/20090324.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch and Ebenezer are dressed in purple and gold rapper/pimp outfits]]
/ Jointly: YO. GO TO STONEGARDEN.NET AND PRE-ORDER THE THIRD TWO LUMPS COLLECTION! IF YOU DO IT BY THE END OF MARCH 2009, YOU GET HALF-OFF THE COVER PRICE! DO IT NOW! WORD! http://twolumps.net/d/20090324.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch and Ebenezer are dressed in purple and gold rapper/pimp outfits]]
/ Jointly: YO. GO TO STONEGARDEN.NET AND PRE-ORDER THE THIRD TWO LUMPS COLLECTION! IF YOU DO IT BY THE END OF MARCH 2009, YOU GET HALF-OFF THE COVER PRICE! DO IT NOW! WORD! http://twolumps.net/d/20090324.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer walks toward Snooch, who has his head in a pan]]
/ Ebenezer: What're you eating?
/ Snooch: Ratatouille! It's good! / [[Snooch lifts head and looks at Ebenezer]]
/ Ebenezer: You know that really doesn't have rat in it, right?
/ Snooch: Does so!
/ Ebenezer: No, it doesn't. The name-- / [[Snooch... http://twolumps.net/d/20090325.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer walks toward Snooch, who has his head in a pan]]
/ Ebenezer: What're you eating?
/ Snooch: Ratatouille! It's good! / [[Snooch lifts head and looks at Ebenezer]]
/ Ebenezer: You know that really doesn't have rat in it, right?
/ Snooch: Does so!
/ Ebenezer: No, it doesn't. The name-- / [[Snooch... http://twolumps.net/d/20090325.html |
| Two Lumps | {{MEL AND J WILL BE ATTENDING AGGIECON 40 MARCH 26TH-29TH, 2009 COME ON BY AND SAY HOWDY!}}
/ [[Next to the text above is a large burgundy ATM logo for Texas A&M University. Ebenezer sits in the lower left foreground wearing a white, tan and burgundy western shirt with a bolo tie, a tan hat with... http://twolumps.net/d/20090326.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Eben is washing, Snooch is looking up at Mom's foot, which is bandaged and resting on the arm of the couch]]
/ Snooch: Yay! Mom's down! I'm-a lie on her!
/ Eben: I don't think she'll be very appreciative of you taking advantage of her injury.
/ Snooch: Pft, not like she can do nothin' about it! / <<*POUNCE*... http://twolumps.net/d/20090327.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch has a scarf, printed with kanji characters, wrapped around his eyes. He is sitting in front of a full-color scene of a park with trees, a paved path, and the edge of a pond]]
/ Snooch: On the road of life... / [[Scene behind Snooch has changed to dark trees edging a blue sky with gray clouds]]
/ Snooch:... http://twolumps.net/d/20090330.html |
| Two Lumps | {{April Fool's Day election}} / Snooch: This is my year!
/ Ebenezer: For what?
/ Snooch: To finally get elected April Fool! / Ebenezer: It's not an election, hamloaf. It's just a holiday where people play tricks on each other.
/ Snooch: But...you showed me that news article...
/ Ebenezer: ...and? / Snooch:... http://twolumps.net/d/20090401.html |
| Two Lumps | Snooch: Eben? What's going on? There are zombies wanderin' around!
/ Ebenezer: Very astute, my sizeable sibling. They seem not to notice us, however, and that gives me an idea. / Ebenezer: We will RIDE them, Snooch! They will be our undead chariots! / Snooch: If you sez so, Eben! Here goes nuffin'!
/ Ebenezer:... http://twolumps.net/d/20090403.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer is stretching and yawning on the couch, Snooch is exiting room on the run]]
/ Ebenezer: Is it NASCAR season already?
/ Snooch: Quick! We need to bust out the 'mergency supplies! / [[Ebenezer stares off panel]]
/ Ebenezer: And what's the emergency?
/ Snooch: The FOOD DISH is EMPTY! DUH!! / [[Ebenezer... http://twolumps.net/d/20090406.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer is stretching and yawning on the couch, Snooch is exiting room on the run]]
/ Ebenezer: Is it NASCAR season already?
/ Snooch: Quick! We need to bust out the 'mergency supplies! / [[Ebenezer stares off panel]]
/ Ebenezer: And what's the emergency?
/ Snooch: The FOOD DISH is EMPTY! DUH!! / [[Ebenezer... http://twolumps.net/d/20090406.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is sleeping on couch]]
/ Ebenezer: [[off panel]] ...razzumfrazzumrargle. BUDGE UP, SUPERCHUNK.
/ Snooch: Wuh oh. / [[Ebenezer enters room, Snooch now sprawling on couch]]
/ Ebenezer: What the? Just MOVE.
/ Snooch: FIE! My dominant pose drives you from my terr'tory! Nature Channel says so!
/ Ebenezer:... http://twolumps.net/d/20090408.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is sleeping on couch]]
/ Ebenezer: [[off panel]] ...razzumfrazzumrargle. BUDGE UP, SUPERCHUNK.
/ Snooch: Wuh oh. / [[Ebenezer enters room, Snooch now sprawling on couch]]
/ Ebenezer: What the? Just MOVE.
/ Snooch: FIE! My dominant pose drives you from my terr'tory! Nature Channel says so!
/ Ebenezer:... http://twolumps.net/d/20090408.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch, scowling at the water dish.]]
/ Snooch: BENNY! RED ALERT, BENNY! COME QUICK! / Ebenezer: I arrive as beckoned.
/ Snooch: This water dish has A HAIR IN IT. / [[Ebenezer's fur bristles. Snooch's scowl deepens.]]
/ Ebenezer: OUTRAGE!
/ Snooch: INDEED.
/ Ebenezer: We have only one course of action.
/ Snooch:... http://twolumps.net/d/20090410.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch, scowling at the water dish.]]
/ Snooch: BENNY! RED ALERT, BENNY! COME QUICK! / Ebenezer: I arrive as beckoned.
/ Snooch: This water dish has A HAIR IN IT. / [[Ebenezer's fur bristles. Snooch's scowl deepens.]]
/ Ebenezer: OUTRAGE!
/ Snooch: INDEED.
/ Ebenezer: We have only one course of action.
/ Snooch:... http://twolumps.net/d/20090410.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is looking out the window which is bright]]
/ Snooch: ...Yes! Perfect! Now keep it that way this time! Just like that! / [[The window goes dark. Ebenezer is now here, staring at Snooch.]]
/ Snooch: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT AGAIN! / [[The window is bright again.]]
/ Snooch: The stupid window is broke... http://twolumps.net/d/20090413.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is looking out the window which is bright]]
/ Snooch: ...Yes! Perfect! Now keep it that way this time! Just like that! / [[The window goes dark. Ebenezer is now here, staring at Snooch.]]
/ Snooch: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT AGAIN! / [[The window is bright again.]]
/ Snooch: The stupid window is broke... http://twolumps.net/d/20090413.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is sitting in front of an easel, holding a paintbrush in his mouth, with red and yellow drips on his fur]]
/ Ebenezer: What smells like a burger joint in here?
/ Snooch: My new art asperriment! / [[Snooch sits, back towards us, facing a brilliant painting of yellow and red flowers]]
/ Snooch:... http://twolumps.net/d/20090415.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is sitting in front of an easel, holding a paintbrush in his mouth, with red and yellow drips on his fur]]
/ Ebenezer: What smells like a burger joint in here?
/ Snooch: My new art asperriment! / [[Snooch sits, back towards us, facing a brilliant painting of yellow and red flowers]]
/ Snooch:... http://twolumps.net/d/20090415.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is sitting in front of an easel, holding a paintbrush in his mouth, with red and yellow drips on his fur]]
/ Ebenezer: What smells like a burger joint in here?
/ Snooch: My new art asperriment! / [[Snooch sits, back towards us, facing a brilliant painting of yellow and red flowers]]
/ Snooch:... http://twolumps.net/d/20090415.html |
| Two Lumps | Ebenezer: [[reading from a book]] Yes, in ancient Egypt, cats were prized. Worshipped, even.
/ Snooch: That's good, right? / Ebenezer: And at death, great people had their prized possessions and loved ones mummified and buried with them.
/ Snooch: [[grimacing]] Eurgh. / Ebenezer: ...yeah. You go hide... http://twolumps.net/d/20090417.html |
| Two Lumps | Ebenezer: [[reading from a book]] Yes, in ancient Egypt, cats were prized. Worshipped, even.
/ Snooch: That's good, right? / Ebenezer: And at death, great people had their prized possessions and loved ones mummified and buried with them.
/ Snooch: [[grimacing]] Eurgh. / Ebenezer: ...yeah. You go hide... http://twolumps.net/d/20090417.html |
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