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| Two Lumps: The Adventures of Ebenezer and Snooch | [[Snooch laying on his side in front of the sofa with a full tummy]]
/ Eben: Snooch, mom just fed us. Why is the bowl empty?
/ Snooch: I have finally mastered the ancient chinese art of Flowing Wind. / Snooch: Rather than eating, I can now inhale my food. By focusing my stomach muscles and concentrating,... http://twolumps.net/?=Zur%C3%BCck zum H%C3%A4ndler |
| Two Lumps: The Adventures of Ebenezer and Snooch | Snooch: STUPID 'PUTER!
/ Ebenezer: You've discovered it doesn't dispense ham? / Snooch: It won't let me in the innerneps! BOOGERY!
/ Ebenezer: Perhaps YOU should call TECH SUPPORT! / TS: Tech Support - how may I-
/ Snooch: MEER!!!
/ TS: Oh, good. You again. http://twolumps.net/?=Zur%C3%BCck%20zum%20H%C3%A4ndler |
| Two Lumps | [[Eben, sitting on a table, with Snooch's eyes and ears peeking up over the edge]]
/ Ebenezer: Greetings. You paltry ninnies may refer to me as Ebenezer Dusk, Esq. / [[Eben, now cleaning himself, Snooch's head retreated a little under the edge of the table, preparing to pounce]]
/ Ebenezer: I am a purebred... http://twolumps.net/d/20040316.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer twitching his tail]]
/ J. Grant: Hi, I'm J. Grant, and this is one of my girlfriend's cats, Ebenezer.
/ Ebenezer: Feed me. / [[Ebenezer dives for J.'s groin, with Snooch looking on]]
/ J. Grant: We're here to enterHOLY FUCK NOT MY BALLS!!!
/ Ebenezer: I said feed me, bitch. / {{Parody of the... http://twolumps.net/d/20040317.html |
| Two Lumps | The sulkiness of a cat can be measured by their height in relation to their width. / slight sulk
/ [[Eben sitting, slightly hunched. A measure of his height and witch are shown off to the side: 8 high by 10 wide.]] / half sulk
/ [[Eben laying down, forepaws curled in front of him. Dimensions are 7 high... http://twolumps.net/d/20040319.html |
| Two Lumps | < http://twolumps.net/d/20040322.html |
| Two Lumps | Superscript: Cats are capable of holding conversations through tail-twitching motions. Observe: / [[Snooch and Ebenezer sit face-to-face, tails twitching]]
/ Superscript: What we see / Superscript: Translated
/ [[Snooch holds up signs saying "I'm going to eat" and "Your skull"]]
/ [[Ebenezer extends... http://twolumps.net/d/20040324.html |
| Two Lumps | [[The bottom of a closed door]] / Snooch (Offscreen): MOW! MOW! MOW! MOW! MOW!
/ Ebenezer (Offscreen): Snooch, what the hell are you making such a racket over? / [[A paw is shoved under the door]]
/ Snooch (Offscreen): Mom went behind the swingy wall and won't come out!
/ Ebenezer (Offscreen): Yes. ... http://twolumps.net/d/20040326.html |
| Two Lumps | [[The bottom of a door, under which two paws have been shoved]]
/ Snooch (offscreen): Okay, here I go! One... two... uh... FOUR! / [[Snooch shoves his head under the door, his eyes bulging out]]
/ Snooch: NYAAAAAAAAAARGH! / Snooch: Uh oh. / Snooch: Benny? I think I'm stuck.
/ Ebenezer (offscreen): Bah... http://twolumps.net/d/20040329.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch has shoved his head under a door and is stuck]] / Snooch: Eben, I really need help getting out of here.
/ Ebenezer (offscreen): Hee hee... okay, brother of mine, I'll help you out. / Snooch: Thanks. What's your plan?
/ Ebenezer: I'm going to bite down on your tail, and yank you back through... http://twolumps.net/d/20040331.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch has shoved his head under a door and is stuck. Ebenezer and mother are not seen.]] / Snooch: Oh, goody. Mom is getting out of the bath.
/ Ebenezer (offscreen): Oh, I can't wait to see how this plays out. / Snooch: Mow!
/ Mother: Snooch, how did you get intAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
/ <<*THUD*>> / Snooch:... http://twolumps.net/d/20040402.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is dumping a tray of noodles into his mouth]]
/ Snooch: Oh boy! Lasagna! I love lasagna! / [[Snooch dumps a huge pot of chili into his mouth]]
/ Snooch: Oh boy! Fifty gallons of chili! I love fifty gallons of chili! / [[An ACME cement truck is backed up and the pouring chute is in Snooch's mouth.... http://twolumps.net/d/20040405.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is dumping a tray of noodles into his mouth]]
/ Snooch: Oh boy! Lasagna! I love lasagna! / [[Snooch dumps a huge pot of chili into his mouth]]
/ Snooch: Oh boy! Fifty gallons of chili! I love fifty gallons of chili! / [[An ACME cement truck is backed up and the pouring chute is in Snooch's mouth.... http://twolumps.net/d/20040405.html |
| Two Lumps | [[The cats sit at a blackjack table. The dealer waits as Ebenezer studies his cards.]]
/ Ebenezer: Ah, Blackjack. The game of thinking gentlemen and cats alike. Let's see ... / [[As Ebenezer studies his hand, his tail whips about.]]
/ Ebenezer: The dealer has a hard 14, and I have a 16. Oh, decisions,... http://twolumps.net/d/20040407.html |
| Two Lumps | [[The cats survey the roulette table from stools.]]
/ Ebenezer: Ah, roulette. The ultimate game of chaos. Entropy reigns supreme ...
/ Snooch: Ooooooo, I wants to play with the little ball! / [Bird's eye view. Ebenezer motions to the table, explaining the game.]]
/ Ebenezer: You can't play with the ball,... http://twolumps.net/d/20040409.html |
| Two Lumps | [[The cats survey the roulette table from stools.]]
/ Ebenezer: Ah, roulette. The ultimate game of chaos. Entropy reigns supreme ...
/ Snooch: Ooooooo, I wants to play with the little ball! / [Bird's eye view. Ebenezer motions to the table, explaining the game.]]
/ Ebenezer: You can't play with the ball,... http://twolumps.net/d/20040409.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch and Ebenezer sit at a roulette table]]
/ Ebenezer: Okay, I have the five and nine corner, five on the 2nd block, and five on red. / Snooch [[Eyes wide, eyebrows lifted]]: Oooooooo!
/ Ebenezer [[Looking thoughtful, as his tail twitches]]: So I have my bases covered, and should stand to make some... http://twolumps.net/d/20040412.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch and Ebenezer sit at a roulette table]]
/ Ebenezer: Okay, I have the five and nine corner, five on the 2nd block, and five on red. / Snooch [[Eyes wide, eyebrows lifted]]: Oooooooo!
/ Ebenezer [[Looking thoughtful, as his tail twitches]]: So I have my bases covered, and should stand to make some... http://twolumps.net/d/20040412.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch and Ebenezer sit in front of the couch.]]
/ Snooch: The NASDAQ's up by two points! Time to run around the house! / [[Ebenezer looks at us, unamused, as Snooch disappears.]]
/ < http://twolumps.net/d/20040414.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer sits on the bathroom counter, right next to the sink and above the toilet paper roll.]]
/ Ebenezer: Collecting data on these creatures cannot be stressed enough... I watch at all times, for it is my assignment. / [[A black and white x-ray drawing of Ebenezer's head shows us a computer chip... http://twolumps.net/d/20040416.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer sits on the bathroom counter, right next to the sink and above the toilet paper roll.]]
/ Ebenezer: Collecting data on these creatures cannot be stressed enough... I watch at all times, for it is my assignment. / [[A black and white x-ray drawing of Ebenezer's head shows us a computer chip... http://twolumps.net/d/20040416.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer's tail peeks out of the end of a paper bag.]]
/ Ebenezer: This vault, the tomb of the pharoah Papyrus Bagamen, has lain undisturbed for the last 5000 years...
/ Today I, Ebenezer Threepwood, explore the mysteries of the ancients and shed light on... / [[Snooch lands hard on the bag, Eben's... http://twolumps.net/d/20040419.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer sits at the edge of the bath, watching as Mom washes her knee.]]
/ Mom: Eben, why are you in here? I'm bathing!
/ Ebenezer: CAT'S LOG, STARDATE 24056.8: I have finally discovered how these creatures wash themselves, and it's not a sight for the squeamish. / [[Ebenezer picks his way along the... http://twolumps.net/d/20040421.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer sits at the edge of the bath, watching as Mom washes her knee.]]
/ Mom: Eben, why are you in here? I'm bathing!
/ Ebenezer: CAT'S LOG, STARDATE 24056.8: I have finally discovered how these creatures wash themselves, and it's not a sight for the squeamish. / [[Ebenezer picks his way along the... http://twolumps.net/d/20040421.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Ebenezer addresses the audience as Snooch, his back to us, throws up in the background.]]
/ Ebenezer: Greetings, members of our fine audience. As you can see, my dear obese brother gobbled up far too much kibble, and is busy puking his brains out. No great loss.
/ Snooch: < http://twolumps.net/d/20040423.html |
| Two Lumps | {{Title: Bad timing for a fart.}} / [[Ebenezer is licking himself between the hind legs.]]
/ < http://twolumps.net/d/20040426.html |
| Two Lumps | {{Title: Bad timing for a fart.}} / [[Ebenezer is licking himself between the hind legs.]]
/ < http://twolumps.net/d/20040426.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Close up on Snooch, his eyes huge and whiskers drooping as he looks up.]]
/ Snooch: BIRD. / [[Zooming back, he is sitting, looking out a window.]]
/ Snooch: BIRD. BIRD. / [[Zoom out further, he is looking out the window at a bird on the limb of a tree.]]
/ Snooch: BIRD. BIRD. BIRD. / [[The bird preens.]]
/ Snooch:... http://twolumps.net/d/20040428.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Close up on Snooch, his eyes huge and whiskers drooping as he looks up.]]
/ Snooch: BIRD. / [[Zooming back, he is sitting, looking out a window.]]
/ Snooch: BIRD. BIRD. / [[Zoom out further, he is looking out the window at a bird on the limb of a tree.]]
/ Snooch: BIRD. BIRD. BIRD. / [[The bird preens.]]
/ Snooch:... http://twolumps.net/d/20040428.html |
| Two Lumps | [[From the interior, Ebenezer looks at Snooch as he stares out the window at the bird on a tree branch outside.]]
/ Ebenezer: Snooch, are you stuck on repeat play or something?
/ Snooch: Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird.
/ Ebenezer: Yes, it's a bird. They're everywhere out there. / [[Outside... http://twolumps.net/d/20040430.html |
| Two Lumps | [[From the interior, Ebenezer looks at Snooch as he stares out the window at the bird on a tree branch outside.]]
/ Ebenezer: Snooch, are you stuck on repeat play or something?
/ Snooch: Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird. Bird.
/ Ebenezer: Yes, it's a bird. They're everywhere out there. / [[Outside... http://twolumps.net/d/20040430.html |
| Two Lumps | {{Title: AND NOW, EBEN AND SNOOCH IN: SUPER HAPPY CHIBI FUN TIME CIRCUIT NEKO TIME!}} / [[Two very round, chibi anime versions of Snooch and Ebenezer sit in the middle of a computer circuit background]] / Snooch: SUGOI!
/ Ebenezer: NANI? / Snooch: KAWAII!
/ Ebenezer [[Sweatdrop]]: BAKA! http://twolumps.net/d/20040503.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch sits atop the bookshelf, peering over the edge as his tail waves frantically. Ebenezer looks up from a nearby tabletop.]]
/ Snooch: I'm gonna getcha, ooooooh, you dead, gonna getcha ...
/ Ebenezer: Snooch, how did you get up on the bookshelf? / Snooch: DEATH FROM ABOVE!
/ < http://twolumps.net/d/20040505.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Eben and Snooch sit in front of the couch.]]
/ Snooch: Mom's at work! Time to play in the TOOL DRAWER! / [[Eben stares dryly at the audience with his ears flattened in annoyance.]]
/ Snooch [[offscreen]]: TOOL DRAWER! TOOL DRAWER!
/ < http://twolumps.net/d/20040507.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Eben and Snooch sit in front of the couch.]]
/ Snooch: Mom's at work! Time to play in the TOOL DRAWER! / [[Eben stares dryly at the audience with his ears flattened in annoyance.]]
/ Snooch [[offscreen]]: TOOL DRAWER! TOOL DRAWER!
/ < http://twolumps.net/d/20040507.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Eben and Snooch sit in front of the couch.]]
/ Snooch: Mom's at work! Time to play in the TOOL DRAWER! / [[Eben stares dryly at the audience with his ears flattened in annoyance.]]
/ Snooch [[offscreen]]: TOOL DRAWER! TOOL DRAWER!
/ < http://twolumps.net/d/20040507.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is facing away from reader.]]
/ Snooch: HEY EBEN! I CAUGHT A MOUSES!
/ Ebenezer: Good lord. That's not a... take that filthy thing out of your mouth, Snooch. / [[Snooch is still facing away from reader.]]
/ Snooch: NO WAY! This is MY mouse, and I'm gonna eat it!
/ Ebenezer [[Looking disgusted]]:... http://twolumps.net/d/20040510.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is facing away from reader.]]
/ Snooch: HEY EBEN! I CAUGHT A MOUSES!
/ Ebenezer: Good lord. That's not a... take that filthy thing out of your mouth, Snooch. / [[Snooch is still facing away from reader.]]
/ Snooch: NO WAY! This is MY mouse, and I'm gonna eat it!
/ Ebenezer [[Looking disgusted]]:... http://twolumps.net/d/20040510.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is facing away from reader.]]
/ Snooch: HEY EBEN! I CAUGHT A MOUSES!
/ Ebenezer: Good lord. That's not a... take that filthy thing out of your mouth, Snooch. / [[Snooch is still facing away from reader.]]
/ Snooch: NO WAY! This is MY mouse, and I'm gonna eat it!
/ Ebenezer [[Looking disgusted]]:... http://twolumps.net/d/20040510.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is gesturing with his paw to a tampon on the floor in front of him. Ebenezer is looking on with his ears pinned back.]]
/ Snooch: EBEN! Look what I just caught!
/ Ebenezer: Is that what I think it is?
/ Snooch: It's a MOUSE!
/ Ebenezer: <<*sigh*>> No, it isn't. / [[Snooch rolls on his back and... http://twolumps.net/d/20040512.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is gesturing with his paw to a tampon on the floor in front of him. Ebenezer is looking on with his ears pinned back.]]
/ Snooch: EBEN! Look what I just caught!
/ Ebenezer: Is that what I think it is?
/ Snooch: It's a MOUSE!
/ Ebenezer: <<*sigh*>> No, it isn't. / [[Snooch rolls on his back and... http://twolumps.net/d/20040512.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch is gesturing with his paw to a tampon on the floor in front of him. Ebenezer is looking on with his ears pinned back.]]
/ Snooch: EBEN! Look what I just caught!
/ Ebenezer: Is that what I think it is?
/ Snooch: It's a MOUSE!
/ Ebenezer: <<*sigh*>> No, it isn't. / [[Snooch rolls on his back and... http://twolumps.net/d/20040512.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch has his back to the reader, looking at a presentation board with a crude drawing of a mouse. The board is labeled Mouse, and the mouse's Ear and Tail are also labeled. Ebenezer sits to the side of the board, pointing to the mouse with a stick.]]
/ Ebenezer: Now pay attention, Snooch. This is... http://twolumps.net/d/20040514.html |
| Two Lumps | [[Snooch has his back to the reader, looking at a presentation board with a crude drawing of a mouse. The board is labeled Mouse, and the mouse's Ear and Tail are also labeled. Ebenezer sits to the side of the board, pointing to the mouse with a stick.]]
/ Ebenezer: Now pay attention, Snooch. This is... http://twolumps.net/d/20040514.html |
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