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| Beans | Rextron: I'm heavily disappointed! I ate an entire bag of licorice jellybeans, but I didn't turn into a ladder! / Rextron: I guess it's for the best, though, since I'd be stuck in that form until someone whistled. / Deceptiomimus: Hey, do you hear that?
/ Rextron: Nnno...
/ Deceptiomimus: It's the rustling... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfbeans.jpg |
| Beautiful | Narrator: I was born into a world I never belonged in. Everyone around me was beautiful. / Narrator: And I was not. / Narrator: So I built the robots, so that their beauty would not merely fade, but would crumble about them. / Narrator: I never thought I would want them to discriminate. What an... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfbeautiful.jpg |
| Beep | Rextron: BEEP BEEP BEEP I AM A ROBOT / Rextron: BEEP BEEP BEEP LET'S MAKE FUN OF HUMANOIDS AND THEIR... ORGANS... AND STUFF. BEEP. / Raptoroid: What are you doing?
/ Rextron: BEEP BEEP BEE-
/ Raptoroid: Stop that. / Rextron: ...I was just tryin' to spread some robot pride, that's all.
/ Deceptiomimus:... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfbeep.jpg |
| Calculator | Title Text: FIRMWARE UPDATE COMPLETE New in v1.4.9: Calculator!
/ Rextron: Hmm... 2 + 2 = ? / Rextron: 2 + 2 = 4 Woah! Call me REM, cuz I'm automatic for the robots! / Raptoroid: Check it out, it does conversions too! 220 pints = ? metric tons 220 US pints = 7040 US tablespoons
/ Rextron: Haha! ... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfcalculator.jpg |
| Chocolate | Rextron: I really wish I had some... / Rextron: ...chocolate! / Rextron: Hey! Gimme some chocolate, please!
/ Deceptiomimus: "Gimme some chocolate, PLEASE?" That's an interesting combination of rudeness and politeness.
/ Rextron: Oh geez, here we go AGAIN. / Raptoroid: She's got a point, man. You... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfchocolate.jpg |
| Collar | {{Snatch of Conversation}} / Rextron: If putting a bell-collar on a deaf cat is wrong, then I don't want to be right. http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfcollar.jpg |
| Complexity | {{Snatch of Conversation}} / Rextron: We're being compared unfavourably to some pseudo-intellectuals!
/ Raptoroid: Quick, break out the big words!
/ Rextron: Philosophy!
/ Raptoroid: Linguistics!
/ Rextron: Stagnation!
/ Raptoroid: Political upheaval!
/ Rextron: Manifestos!
/ Raptoroid: Symbolism!
/ Rextron:... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfcomplexity.jpg |
| Courtesy | Title Text: LESSONS FOR LIFE - This Week: BEING COURTEOUS TO OTHERS / Rextron: Courtesy is a two-way street. If you're not nice to someone, they may not be nice to you! / Rextron: For example, if I weren't so darned nice to Deceptiomimus, she would probably shoot me or something! How are you today,... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfcourtesy.jpg |
| Criminal | Rextron: I've had it up to here! I'm going to be as violent and unruly as I damn well please! / Title Text: REXTRON IN: "SO THAT'S HOW CRIMINAL LAW WORKS" / Rextron: Superficial property damage GO! Hahaha! Vandalism is my favourite "ism" now!
/ Raptoroid: You crushed my spice rack! / Deceptiomimus:... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfcriminal.jpg |
| Decent | Title Text: FURTHER PONTIFICATION ON BEING IN JAIL by R. Rexbot / Rextron: One thing I will say about jail: halfway decent food! / Rextron: Even if it WAS a prank, I got duck a l'huile and Plutonian metalcrab claws whenever I wanted!
/ Raptoroid: When I build fake prisons, I build 'em right. / Raptoroid:... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfdecent.jpg |
| Different | Rextron: It used to be like, if you wanted to smash something up, you just went ahead and started breaking shit! / Rextron: But things are different now! / Rextron: Now you need construction permits, e-signatures from your overhead processing routine, copies of official guidelines... they've taken... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfdifferent.jpg |
| Evil Plan | Rextron: Head reattached to body: check! System clock readjusted to the year 3062: also check! / Rextron: Putting of evil plan into motion: check-MATE! / Rextron: Hey Decepti! Remember how the year I disappeared, we totally won the Best Robot Cup for our widely distributed mayhem?
/ Deceptiomimus:... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfevilplan.jpg |
| Games | Rextron: Video games these days are too easy for robots. / Rextron: My positronic brain just analyses the patterns, and I'm victorious in minutes! / Deceptiomimus: Why don't you try playing a game with a plot? That could engage your story processor.
/ Rextron: No good! I've already scanned in the... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfgames.jpg |
| Getaway | Rextron: *sigh* I thought this mountain getaway might make me feel better... / Rextron: But I can't get it off my mind. Maybe I am obsolete, after all. / Rextron: There doesn't seem to be a place for me anymore... The sunset sure looks nice, though. / [[Rextron watches the sunset for a moment.]] / [[Then... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfgetaway.jpg |
| Graffiti | Rextron: So I'm out on my walk, and I see some graffiti: / Rextron: "Hope Finds Fiends When Dope Doesn't!" / Raptoroid: Hmm. You think maybe they meant "friends?"
/ Rextron: That's what's got me pondering! / Rextron: If it was a deliberate decision, then it's a clever example of broken logic!
/ Deceptiomimus:... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfgraffiti.jpg |
| Harder | Rextron: I guess rapping is pretty hard, but I can think of harder jobs. / Title Text: HARDER WAYS TO MAKE AN EASY LIVING COMICS / Rextron: Working up in the Albertan oil sands is pretty tough! Plenty of workers succumb to ennui.
/ Raptoroid: Or how about working on a fishing trawler? If one of those... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfharder.jpg |
| Haughty | Title Text: "TONS OF FUN" Good Ideas By Rextron / Rextron: It's tons of fun to ask for things with a haughty British accent and lots of big words! / Rextron: You there! Provide me with cheese-based snacks, posthaste!
/ Raptoroid: Get 'em yourself.
/ Rextron: But I'm inordinately tired!
/ Raptoroid:... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfhaughty.jpg |
| Hook Up | {{Snatch of conversation}} / Title Text: FORGET ABOUT YOUR BOYFRIEND. HOOK UP WITH REXTRON THIS YEAR. / [[Raptoroid and Deceptiomimus are facing each other with little hearts between them. Rextron looks on with a broken heart floating by his head.]] http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfhookup.jpg |
| Infinity | Rextron: Loops of infinity, existing in perpetuity... / Rextron: ...have met at this very crossroads... / Rextron: ...to ensure your doom.
/ Raptoroid: You were right all along. The universe is actually against you. / Rextron: You came so close to victory.
/ Raptoroid: The chances of NEAR victory aren't... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfinfinity.jpg |
| Internet | Rextron: Welcome to the Internet! Feel free to steal things. / Rextron: Property is theft! Intellectual property doubly so! / Rextron: Instead of having a conversation, let's just quote Rhapsody lyrics at each other!
/ Raptoroid: From the silent hill, we scream loud your name! / Rextron & Deceptiomimus:... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfinternet.jpg |
| Firmware | Title Text: FIRMWARE UPDATE COMPLETE You're Welcome!
/ Rextron: Zombies! / Rextron: Norwegians! Sledgehammers! KaZaA, poker, and the Super Bowl! Also, zombies. / Deceptiomimus: What are you doing?
/ Rextron: The new firmware update included an application called "Oh Shite, Robots!" that lets people... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfirmware.jpg |
| Jealous | Title Text: COMICS WHERE ROBOTS ANSWER QUESTIONS!
/ Rextron: This week's question is: "do robots ever get jealous?" / Rextron: This is a great question, as its stupidity exceeds nominal levels! / Raptoroid: Are you kidding? You've never been envious of anything before?
/ Rextron: Nope!
/ Raptoroid: Not... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfjealous.jpg |
| Labor | Rextron: According to the historical database, Labor Day (formerly celebrated on the first Monday of September) was abolished sometime in the 28th century. / Rextron: So, we've got Smashing Day and Disconnect Your Logic Circuits Day... / Rextron: ...but why'd we ditch Labor Day?
/ Deceptiomimus: Because... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcflabor.jpg |
| Lawyerfone | Rextron: Are you gettin' hassled by the cops? Is THE MAN gettin' you down every time you do 25 over the speed limit in your '86 Coupe? / Rextron: Then you need LAWYERFONE!™ / Rextron: Send the message "LAWYR" to number 58585 on your cell phone to get great tips on avoiding parking tickets and getting... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcflawyerfone.jpg |
| Lost Art | {{Snatch of Conversation}} / Rextron: Falsetto is a lost art.
/ Deceptiomimus: I hope nobody finds it. http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcflostart.jpg |
| Mail Call | [[Blank Panel]] / Mailman: [[thought bubble]] Don't get crushed, don't get crushed, don't get crushed... / Mailman: Mail call!
/ Deceptiomimus: Thanks! You just earned yourself six seconds to get out of my targeting range. / Raptoroid: Ha ha! Since Rextron wasn't around to goosh the mailman today,... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfmailcall.jpg |
| Mary Mac | Rextron: There's a neat little lass, and her name is Mary-Mac! / Rextron: Make no mistake, she's the girl I'm gonna track! / Deceptiomimus: Lots of other fellows try to get up on her back!
/ Rextron: So I take it that I'll have to get up early! / Rextron: Mary-Mac's mother's makin' Mary-Mac marry me!
/ Raptoroid:... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfmarymac.jpg |
| Message | Title Text: A MESSAGE FOR YOU FROM THE FUTURE / Rextron: Stop reading comic books! / Deceptiomimus: That was it? Your big important message was "stop reading comics?"
/ Rextron: You and I both know why it's so important! / Rextron: The world economy in graphic novel trade skyrockets, but then experiences... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfmessage.jpg |
| Months | Rextron: So I've been in robot jail for two months, and I get to thinking... / Rextron: "Hey! There's no such thing as robot jail!" / Raptoroid: APRIL FOOL'S!
/ Rextron: It's fucking September!
/ Title Text: END / Title Text: REXTRON REXBOT AND DECEPTIOMIMUS IN: "FAKE ROBOT JAIL"
/ Deceptiomimus: So... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfmonths.jpg |
| Mountains | Title Text: YEARS HAVE PASSED! (SEVERAL OF THEM)
/ Raptoroid: Nothing like an afternoon walk in the mountains!
/ Deceptiomimus: Aren't these the mountains where Rextron disappeared?
/ Raptoroid: Not gonna think about that! / Raptoroid: Besides, we're at the bottom of the mountain. He would've fallen... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfmountains.jpg |
| My Face | Rextron: Recently, I was shocked to see my face on a coffee mug! / Title Text: OH GREAT, IT'S ONE OF THOSE "MORAL QUANDARY" COMICS AGAIN / Rextron: Part of me is glad I'm popular enough to rate inclusion on a beverage container, but I'm concerned about the theft of my intellectual property!
/ Deceptiomimus:... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfmyface.jpg |
| Oil | Title Text: HAS THIS EVER HAPPENED TO YOU?
/ Rextron: Time for the annual ROBOT SEAL HUNT! / Rextron: Oh boy! I hope I meet a lady robot who loves dead seals as much as I do! / Rextron: Hail, fellow seal-crusher! Want to team up against these porpoises with purposes?
/ < |
| Fool's | {{Snatch of Conversation}} / Deceptiomimus: You know how my railgun is perpetually out of ammo?
/ Raptoroid: Heh, yeah. / Deceptiomimus: APRIL FOOL'S!
/ [[Deceptiomimus shoots Raptoroid in the face with her railgun!]]
/ Raptoroid: Ow! My optics! http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfools.jpg |
| For Kids | Title Text: Future Dinobot Comix FOR KIDS! / Rextron: In this week's DCF, there's a spelling error. See if you can find it! / Rextron: Knock knock!
/ Raptoroid: Whose their? / Rextron: Mark!
/ Deceptiomimus: Mark hoo? / Rextron: Marks will be deducted for improper punctuation!
/ Deceptiomimus: That...... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcforkids.jpg |
| Philosophy | {{Snatch of Conversation}} / Rextron: Wh- Did you just reprogram my CPU?
/ Raptoroid: There! It's done! Now you can stop talking about your damn philosophy: it's adopted! http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfphilosophy.jpg |
| Pick Up Lines | Title Text: SNAPPY ANSWERS TO BAD PICK-UP LINES
/ Rextron: Actually, it's a piece of aluminum foil! / Rextron: I can see why you'd mistake it for a reflective surface, though. / Rextron: If by "heart" you mean "wallet," then I'm guilty!
/ Deceptiomimus: These are paper wings. I'm in a nativity scene.
/ Rextron:... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfpickuplines.jpg |
| Pork Chop | Rextron: Yesterday, I was feeling out of it, so I made myself a pork chop! / Rextron: There's nothing more soothing than wheeling out the ol' BBQ and "grilling it up!" / Rextron: Hey, 'mimus! Did I tell you I made myself a pork chop yesterday?
/ Deceptiomimus: That would be quite a transformation!... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfporkchop.jpg |
| Principle | {{Snatch of Conversation}
/ Raptoroid: I am not saying the principle isn't hella sound I'm just saying it may not be everyone's cup of tea
/ Rextron: I don't think you even remember what it's like to stay up all night trying to beat the Speeder Bikes! / Rextron: I don't even care about level 4 any more.... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfprinciple.jpg |
| Propaganda | Rextron: I feel like spreading some propaganda today! A little corporate, perhaps some political? Who knows! / Title Text: USING PROPAGANDA FOR FUN AND PROFIT / Rextron: Hello, fellow citizen?
/ Deceptiomimus: Hey Rexbot, how's it -
/ Rextron: DRINK PC COLA!
/ Deceptiomimus: um ok / Raptoroid: So,... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfpropaganda.jpg |
| Free Will | Rextron: So if everything I do is actually caused by programs running in my CPU, do I actually have any free will? / Title Text: STUPID ROBOT PHILOSOPHY QUESTION COMICS / Rextron: What do you think, Deceptiomimus? Free will - yea or nay?
/ Deceptiomimus: Free will is the only reason I'm not dismembering... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfreewill.jpg |
| Robot Sex | Title Text: COMICS ABOUT ROBOT SEX
/ Rextron: Sex! / Rextron: ROBOT sex! / Rextron: Y'see, some robots -
/ Deceptiomimus: No. Just... no.
/ Rextron: But -
/ Deceptiomimus: We are so not talking about this at all.
/ Title Text: THE END / Title Text: COMICS ABOUT COMICS THAT GET SPLIT IN HALF WHEN ONE PARTY... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfrobotsex.jpg |
| Rye | Rextron: So I was out looking at the full moon tonight! / Rextron: And I started singing, "Up On Cripple Creek!" / Raptoroid: This didn't have anything to do with the forty of CC you started drinking at 9:30, did it?
/ Rextron: Dude, did I not SHARE that forty with you?
/ Raptoroid: I guess...
/ Rextron:... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfrye.jpg |
| Sie Sagte | {{This is that one comic that was written in German and then converted to greyscale.}} / Rextron: Sie sagte, "ich möchte wie gewöhnliche Leute leben. Ich möchte tun, was auch immer gewöhnliche Leute." / Rextron: "Ich möchte mit gewöhnlichen Leuten schlafen. Ich möchte mit gewöhnlichen Leuten wie Ihnen... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfsiesagte.jpg |
| Skating | Rextron: So I went skating last night, and I kinda went through the ice. / Rextron: The pond was only a few feet deep, but... / Rextron: What do you think, 'mimus? Am I gaining too much weight?
/ Deceptiomimus: You're sixty feet tall and made of metal! How could you gain weight? / Rextron: Well,... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfskating.jpg |
| Solar | Rextron: I sure do miss the sun! Too bad we had to BLOCK IT OUT with satellites. / Rextron: Maybe we should knock them out of the sky or something! / Rextron: Deceptiomimus! Prepare the leftover missiles from World War IV! We're gonna break through the satellite layer!
/ Deceptiomimus: Can we use... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfsolar.jpg |
| That Shot | Rextron: The way I figure it - WHAT! How did he make that shot! / Rextron: ...Er, excuse me! I didn't mean to be distracted by the NCAA tournament. / Rextron: Anyway, like I was saying, the first thing we should do is get everything together at the silo.
/ Deceptiomimus: Hm? I wasn't listening, I... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfthatshot.jpg |
| Theatre | Rextron: Back in the 27th century, humanity attempted to build robots capable of performing theatre. / Rextron: It was a total disaster! / Raptoroid: They couldn't act?
/ Rextron: The acting was sublime! No, it was hubris that would bring about the eventual terror. / Rextron: Drunk on their own success,... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcftheatre.jpg |
| Thrusters | Rextron: You know what I wish I had? / Rextron: Thrusters! / Rextron: Instead of walkin' and stompin' all the time, I could just put on my roller skates and glide around!
/ Deceptiomimus: And make jokes about "thrusting!"
/ Rextron: Only once, though! Then it would lose its sophomoric appeal. / Raptoroid:... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfthrusters.jpg |
| Tragic | Title Text: THE ROBO-MART ADVENTURE
/ Rextron: They sell so many things at supermarkets these days! / Rextron: Chocolate milk! Dog food! Toothbrushes! Pre-cooked chickens! And bandages! / Rextron: I don't know why I shop anywhere else! Except when I need a specialty item for a big party, or something.... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcftragic.jpg |
| TV Shows | Rextron: So today I'm watching "That New Millenium Show," a sitcom set in the year 2000, and it occurs to me... / Rextron: I don't think there were THAT many reality shows back then! / Rextron: In fact, I'd say there are more now!
/ Deceptiomimus: It's true; TV shows often say more about the time they're... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcftvshows.jpg |
| Future | Title Text: FUTURE DINOBOT COMIX featuring "Good Ol' Rextron" / Rextron: It sure is great, living in the future! / Rextron: In the future, everyone will be living in triangular domes and travelling by laser beams!
/ Deceptiomimus: I'd stop you from stomping the habitat, but my railgun's out of ammo. / Raptoroid:... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfuture.jpg |
| Vlad | Rextron: Vlad! Vlad! Vlad the Impaler! / Rextron: Vlad is my kind of hero. Impalin' stuff, burnin' down villages... / Deceptiomimus: Some people wouldn't consider that very heroic!
/ Rextron: But as the song goes: "He's so GLAD he's VLAD!" In terms of happiness, he hits a home run!
/ Deceptiomimus:... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfvlad.jpg |
| Volunteer | Rextron: I'm so powerful, I can knock down walls with my punching claws of justice! / Rextron: I should use my strength to give something back to the community! / Rextron: Here you go, community! I'll help demolish this abandoned refridgerated storage dome!
/ Deceptiomimus: That's some good volunteer... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfvolunteer.jpg |
| Wants | Rextron: I want relatively good assurance that I will live long enough to have an influence on people! / Rextron: I want world peace, a stable economy, and an end to strife and violence! / Rextron: I want to find love in an unusual yet plausible fashion and have a relationship with both firey passion... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfwants.jpg |
| Wasting | Rextron: Are you wasting your life? / Rextron: Feeling tired, irritable, and nervous? / Rextron: Keep it up!
/ Title Text: A MESSAGE FROM THE ROBOTIC UNDERTAKER'S UNION BOARD
/ Raptoroid: [[overlapping Title Text]] BZZT! Start again! / Deceptiomimus: I figure, as long as you're doing something and... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfwasting.jpg |
| Wyvern | Rextron: Best idea for a TV show ever: / Rextron: "Wyvern and Shirley!" / Rextron: Shirley would go on dates with guys who seemed nice at first but turn out to be jerks, and then Wyvern would swoop in and bite their heads off while screeching and breathing fire! / Deceptiomimus: Sounds like a one-joke... http://simonbob.fobby.net/dcfwyvern.jpg |
