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| General Protection Fault--The Comic Strip | Nick: What could be more important then setting up your servers?
/ Fred: I could argue lots of things, but these were what I referred to. / Fred: These are scripts my agent sent me. Ever since I started the talk show circuit, the offers for guest stints and cameos have flooded in. I need to sort through them to decide which to take. / Nick: TV scripts? Why would you want *my* help?
/ Fred: This seemed right up your alley...
/ Nick: Russell T. Davies... / Nick: OMIGOSH! THIS IS AN ADVANCE "DOCTOR WHO" SCRIPT!
/ Fred: They want me to be a "Rutan" or somesuch. I figured you'd know what that meant. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20080702.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, July 4, 2008 | [[Ki working on cables while Fred and Nick talk about the advanced Doctor Who script]]
/ Fred: So I'm supposed to be some sort of galactic jellyfish?
/ Nick: Not exactly. I think of Rutans as single cells of a massive, distributed multi-cellular organism. / [[Nick and Fred continue to talk]]
/ Fred: I guess I can see the typecasting as irony. So these solarans--
/ Nick: Sontarans.
/ Fred: Whatever. Mister Potato Head here tries to zap me with his magic wand... / Nick: The Sontaran "wand" is actually a very sophisticated weapon. It can stun, hypnotize, and cut through materials as well as kill.
/ Fred: Yeah, yeah. So we've been at war for a couple centuries... / Nick: Actually, most fans agree that references in the show indicate the Rutan/Sontaran war lasts at least 70,000 years, and that--
/ Fred: You're dangerously close to displacing Dexter as king of the nerds, Nick. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20080704.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, July 7, 2008 | [[Nick, Patty, and Ki look back at an open doorway]]
/ Sharon: [[from outside the room]] I HAVE HAD IT!
/ Patty: Uh oh... / [[An anxious Scott follows an angry Sharon]]
/ Sharon: I've tried to follow Dwayne's orders and be "tolerant" of your "beliefs", Scott, but this time you've gone too far!
/ Scott: I beg your forgiveness, Lady Sharon! Please! / [[Closeup of Scott]]
/ Scott: The brothers who still follow me are pressuring for updates, and those opposed demand proof. So many of us await the arrival of "The One" that the prophecy must be proven. I've tried to be unintrusive and discreet... / [[Scott cowers before Sharon's rage as Dwayne walks by]]
/ Sharon: CALLING MY MOTHER ABOUT MY SEX LIFE IS NEITHER UNINTRUSIVE NOR DISCREET!
/ Dwayne: I see this may be a bad time... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20080707.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, July 9, 2008 | Sharon: I've had it with Scott and his obsession to prove I'll be the mother of his geek messiah.
/ Tim: I'm sorry, Sharon. He means well, really. He just tends to be over-zealous. / Sharon: I don't get it. You gave up on this fiasco. Why can't he give it a rest?
/ Tim: I... haven't given up. I've just learned to be patient. I'm willing to let you and Fooker do things in your own time. / Patty: If you have this big a beef with Scott, why don't you just get a restraining order and be done with it?
/ Sharon: I... need to do some... research. I need to get all the facts before I fill out tons of legal paperwork. / Patty: Wait a minute... You don't know any of our last names, do you? And just how long have we been working together now...?
/ Sharon: I do too! Yours is... um... it's... er...
/ Tim: Busted. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20080709.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, July 9, 2008 | Sharon: I've had it with Scott and his obsession to prove I'll be the mother of his geek messiah.
/ Tim: I'm sorry, Sharon. He means well, really. He just tends to be over-zealous. / Sharon: I don't get it. You gave up on this fiasco. Why can't he give it a rest?
/ Tim: I... haven't given up. I've just learned to be patient. I'm willing to let you and Fooker do things in your own time. / Patty: If you have this big a beef with Scott, why don't you just get a restraining order and be done with it?
/ Sharon: I... need to do some... research. I need to get all the facts before I fill out tons of legal paperwork. / Patty: Wait a minute... You don't know any of our last names, do you? And just how long have we been working together now...?
/ Sharon: I do too! Yours is... um... it's... er...
/ Tim: Busted. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20080709.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, July 11, 2008 | [[Fooker prepares food while Sharon watches a Harry Potter movie]]
/ < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20080711.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, July 14, 2008 | {{Title: GPF Presents... Harry Barker and the Napier's Bones}}
/ [[Sharon sleeps and dreams of a hooded figure walking down a lit residential street at night]] / < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20080714.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, July 16, 2008 | [[Dexter with a great beard on a motorcycle carries a small bundle]]
/ Dexter: Sorry I'm late, Prof. Had to dodge a couple black hats along the way. But here he is, safe and sound. / [[Patty pulls back her hood]]
/ Patty: Tim, is it wise to leave the boy with these luddies? He will know nothing of his heritage, of what he is destined to become! / [[Tim holds the bundle]]
/ Tim: Patience, Patty. The truth will be revealed when the time is right. This is all the family he has left. He will be safe here... for now. / [[A baby Harry sleeps with a lightning scar on his forehead and his thumb in his mouth]]
/ Tim (off panel): Sleep well, Harry Barker. When we meet again, your entire world will be about to change... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20080716.html |
| General Protection Fault--The Comic Strip | [[External view of two houses in an typical neighborhood]] / Narrator: Ten Years Later........ / [[Womans voice]]
/ Wake up, Harry Barker! / Harry Barker: I'm up, Aunt Trudy.
/ Aunt Trudy: It's about time. / Aunt Trudy: So you'd rather sleep all day than do your cousin Travis' homework? Little Travey has six pages of Algebra to finish before Monday. / Uncle Trent: And don't forget to finish digging that ditch in the back yard before noon.
/ Harry Barker: Yes, Uncle Trent. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20080718.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, July 21, 2008 | [[Trent reads his newspaper and Travis eats a snack on the couch as Harry lies on the floor and finishes Travis' homework]]
/ Travis: Aren't you done with my homework yet?
/ Harry: No, Travis... / [[Trent looks around his paper at Harry]]
/ Harry: The algebra isn't hard, but this would go a lot quicker if you'd let me use a calculator...
/ Trent: Absolutely not! / [[Trent yells at Harry]]
/ Trent: I will not have one of those confounded computing devices in my house! Your aunt and I have worked hard to exorcise those technological atrocities from our lives, and you shan't mention them again as long as you live under our roof! / [[Travis taunts Harry as the mail is delivered through the front door mail slot]]
/ Travis: So there, Hairy Geeker!
/ < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20080721.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, July 23, 2008 | [[Travis runs for the mail, while Harry sits dejectedly on the floor and Trent reads the paper]]
/ Travis: Mail's here, daddy!
/ Trent: Great. Our daily ration of bills has arrived. / [[Travis holds up a fancy letter as both Harry and Trent give their attention to it]]
/ Travis: Daddy... H-Harry... Harry got a letter...
/ Harry: A letter? For me? / [[Trent smacks Travis and takes the letter]]
/ Trent: Give me that!How many times have I told you, nobody at the post office knows he's-- / [[Trent has a look of surprise and fear as he looks more closely at the letter, which has a wax seal and an embossed letter H covering the flap]] / Trent: Oh, no... not another one...http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20080723.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, July 25, 2008 | [[Trent and Harry fight over Harry's letter as Trudy walks in]]
/ Harry: That letter is mine! Let me have it!
/ Trent: Oh, I don't think so! / [[Trent tears up the letter]]
/ Trent: We've moved seven times in the past ten years to avoid these loonies! And they found us again! Well, this is the last straw!
/ < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20080725.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, July 28, 2008 | [[Trent and Harry scatter as the door falls in and a shadow stands at the door]]
/ < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20080728.html |
| General Protection Fault--The Comic Strip | [[Harry and Dexter talk to each other with the Barkers in the background]]
/ Harry: What's this?
/ Dexter: Why it's your invitation to Hollerith's. You'll be knowing all about Hollerith's...
/ Harry: Um, not really... / [[Dexter is incredulous]]
/ Dexter: Hollerith's School of Phreaking and Hacking? You're a hacker, Harry, and a darned good one, I'd bet. Why, your parents were Jason and Sharon Barker, two of the most famous. Your name's been on the roster since before you were born. / [[Trudy and Dexter argue]]
/ Trudy: My no-good geek sister and her freak boyfriend, doing unnatural things with their computers... We'll have no such nerdity in this house!
/ Dexter: File it in the bit bucket, Trudy, you ol' luddite. / [[Harry asks about a word and Dexter whispers the answer]]
/ Harry: "Luddie?"
/ Dexter: A Luddite. It's what we techies call analog sticks in the mud like the Flintstones over there. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20080730.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, August 1, 2008 | [[Dexter and Harry are walking through a crowd of people]]
/ Narrator: A short while later...
/ Dexter: Bogon Alley! If it's a geek tool or toy, you'll find it here. This is where we'll find your supplies for your first semester. / [[Harry looks back as a few people make a commotion about seeing Harry]]
/ Dexter: First we'll pick up your peripherals, then buy a compiler, and finally stop by Groklots Bank to pick up... something else. / [[Dexter gestures to a store marked Olivetti's]]
/ Dexter: This here's Olivetti's, finest maker of input devices around. Every hacker needs a way to interface with their machine: keyboards, mice, trackballs... / [[Olivetti stands by his counter with his hands behind his back]]
/ Olivetti: Ah, the famous Harry Barker. What an honor. When I heard you were attending Hollerith's this year, I had hoped you would visit... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20080801.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, August 4, 2008 | [[Olivetti looks over Harry's hands]]
/ Olivetti: Thin bony wrists... long nimble fingers... yes, a natural typist. A Dvorak may be perfect for you... / [[Olivetti reaches back to his shelves]]
/ Olivetti: But wait... could it be? Yes, yes I think so... This keyboard is very special, Mr. Barker, for only one other like it was ever made... / [[Olivetti holds out a keyboard]]
/ Olivetti: It is said that he who can type upon it will do great things. He who used its twin did great things... terrible things, but great nonetheless.
/ Harry: Who was that? / [[Olivetti touches Harry's forehead, revealing his scar]]
/ Olivetti: Oh, we do not speak his name, but it was he who gave you this scar... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20080804.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, August 6, 2008 | [[Harry and Dexter are eating a meal]]
/ Harry: Um, Dexter... Do you... know how I got my scar? / [[Dexter looks down at Harry with a pained expression]]
/ Dexter: Aye, but it's not a tale one likes to tell. Not all hackers are good, Harry. Some are downright evil. Black hats, we call them. There was one whose name we do not speak who terrorized geeks everywhere. / [[Harry lifts his hair from his forehead to expose his scar]]
/ Dexter: They called him (gulp) Gnawthrylilees. He murdered your parents and nearly got you too.
/ Harry: And he gave me this lightning-shaped scar? / Dexter: It's not a lightning bolt. It's a backwards "z". He smacked you in the head with his keyboard. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20080806.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, August 8, 2008 | [[Harry and Dexter walk down the street with their belongings]]
/ Dexter: That's why you're famous, Harry. They call you "The Boy Who Respawned" because you-know-who tried to kill you and fragged himself instead. / [[Harry looks down in confusion]]
/ Harry: Why did he want me dead?
/ Dexter: Not sure anybody rightly knows. / [[Dexter puts his hand on Harry's shoulder]]
/ Dexter: I wouldn't worry about it. You-know-who is long gone, and his followers have since scattered or refuse to admit the association. Ah, here we are! / [[Dexter points to the bank named Groklot's Vast RAID of Storage]]
/ Dexter: You wait here. I need to... um, pick up something from the data bank. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20080808.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, August 11, 2008 | [[Harry is reading in a empty booth on a train]]
/ Narrator: Harry soon boards the train to Hollerith's...
/ Voice off-panel: Oi! Leave my mouse alone, Mouso! / [[A boy with freckles and a mop of black hair looks into the booth]]
/ Donald: Sorry to bug you, mate, but mind if I sit here? Blasted bullies...
/ Harry: Uh, sure. / [[Donald breaks into a wide smile]]
/ Donald: Zounds! You're Harry Barker, scar an' all! Dad said you'd be at Holl'rith's this year. In me own class too! / [[Donald holds out his hand and Harry just looks at it]]
/ Donald: Name's Donald Measly. Pleased ta meetcha.
/ Harry: Um, there's a booger on your finger. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20080811.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, August 13, 2008 | [[A girl enters Harry and Donald's train cabin]]
/ Girl: Excuse me, but have either of you seen a stray trackball? A boy named Nermal has lost one...
/ Donald: Uh... / [[The girl sees Harry and gasps]]
/ Girl: By the source! You're Harry Barker! I've read all about you in the Daily Proglet!
/ Harry: Who hasn't? / Girl: Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Harmony Stranger. My parents are luddies, but I wrote my first quick sort by age seven. I already know six different programming languages. / [[Donald speaks to Harry behind his hand]]
/ Donald: Truly humble, this one is...
/ Harry: (thinking) Dexter offered to drive me, but NO, I HAD to take the train... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20080813.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, August 15, 2008 | [[Harmony starts to leave Harry and Donald's train cabin]]
/ Harmony: You should really change into your robes, Harry. We'll be arriving soon, and you shan't--
/ Boy: Harry? Harry Barker? / [[Boy surprises Harmony]]
/ Boy: So the rumors ARE true. Harry Barker has come to Hollerith's.
/ Harry: Am I the only one who never got this memo? / [[Boy sneers at Donald]]
/ Boy: Darco Mouso. You should choose your friends more wisely, Barker. You don't want to be seen associating with the wrong kind of people.
/ Donald: Go segfault, Mouso. / [[Harmony talks back to Darco]]
/ Harmony: Harry knows the "wrong kind of people" when he sees them, Mouso. Right, Harry?
/ Harry: I mean, do I have a big neon arrow on my forehead? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20080815.html |
| General Protection Fault--The Comic Strip | [[Silhouette of a castle with satellite dishes and a radio tower on its roof]]
/ Voice off-panel: Welcome, all, to another year at Hollerith's! / [[Speaker at a podium in front of a crowd]]
/ Speaker: Let us welcome this semester's first year students! Professor McDongle? / [[Prof McDongle (Patty) stands above the first-year students]]
/ Prof McDongle: Students will be sorted into four subnets, which will become your family during your stay here. The four subnets are Torvalds, Ritchie, Wozniak, and Mitnick. / [[Harmony speaks to Harry]]
/ Harmony: I bet they use an elaborate pseudo-random number generator to sort us!
/ Prof McDongle: Bring in the sorting cat! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20080818.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, August 20, 2008 | {{title text: General Protection Fault Presents Harry Barker and the Napier's Bones}} / [[Professor McDongle (Patty), with a computer and a cat, addresses the students]]
/ Professor McDongle: Each first year shall sit at the desk with their hands on the keyboard. The Sorting Cat will assess which subnet you belong to. / [[Darco Mouso grimaces at the cat laying on his hands]]
/ Sorting Cat: Your knuckles are too bony! To Mitnick with you! / [[A girl stares as the cat stretches across her hands]]
/ Sorting Cat: Mmmm... Your hands are so warm... I'll put you in Wozniak. / [[The cat plays with a floating speck before an angry Donald Measly]]
/ Sorting Cat: Another Measly, eh? You belong in Torvalds with your brothers. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20080820.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, August 22, 2008 | [[Harry Barker stands in front of the rest of the students facing Prof McDongle (Patty)]]
/ Prof McDongle: And Miss Stranger goes to Torvalds. Next... Harry Barker. / [[The sorting cat lies on Harry's hands, which are resting on a keyboard]]
/ Sorting cat: Hmm... nimble fingers... extended reach... a natural coder, no doubt. But where to put you? You have potential, boy... / [[Close-up of the sorting cat's eyes]]
/ Sorting cat: You could be great wherever you go. You could hack kernels under Torvalds, or elegant GUIs with Wozniak. Or you could take the harsher, darker path of Mitnick and taste the power of cracking another's system. / [[The sorting cat and Harry look at each other]]
/ Sorting cat: Tell me... where do YOU want to go?
/ Harry: Somewhere that makes all this mess make sense.
/ Sorting cat: TO TORVALDS! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20080822.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, August 25, 2008 | [[Donald, Harry, and Harmony walk down a school hallway]]
/ Donald: Zounds! This schedule is murder! I didn't know there was this many types of math!
/ Harmony: Oh, the math's easy. Data structures will be much more difficult. / [[Donald continues to look over his schedule while Harry and Harmony read the newspaper]]
/ Donald: Says you. I don't know an integer from a polynomial. How'm I--
/ Harmony: Boys! Listen to this article in the Daily Proglet! / Harmony: "Hacking authorities are still baffled by yesterday's mysterious break-in at Groklots' Vast RAID of Storage. The legendary impenetrable databank continues to state nothing was stolen as the targeted vault was emptied earlier that morning." / [[Harry and Harmony continue to pour over the newspaper while a startled Donald looks up]]
/ Harry: That's around the time Dexter picked up something from the bank. I wonder if there's a connection...
/ Off-panel voice: I wonder if you three forgot where your next class should be... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20080825.html |
| General Protection Fault--The Comic Strip | [[Prof Sysape (Scott) looks down at Donald]]
/ Prof Sysape: Shouldn't three Torvalds such as yourselves be in class right about now?
/ Donald: Y-Yes, Prof. S-Sysape. / [[Donald, Harry, and Harmony hurry from Prof Sysape]]
/ Donald: Zounds, is that Sysape one scary bugger.
/ Harmony: He may be the school scripts master, but he's been after the Defense Against the Black Arts position for years. / [[Three silhouettes continue to hurry]]
/ Donald: If you ask me, if it's the color of one's hat that matters, his would be darker than most.
/ Harry: Isn't it a little early to be typecasting him as a villain?
/ Harmony: SHH! / [[The three students stand alone at a corridor intersection]]
/ Harmony: Does... this hallway look familiar to you?
/ Harry: Great. We're in a maze of twisty passages, all alike... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20080827.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, August 29, 2008 | [[Harmony, Harry, and Donald are lost in the corridors of Hollerith's]]
/ Harmony: This is the third floor east wing! Professor Dumpingcore told us at the banquet that this was off limits!
/ Donald: Ah, calm down, Harmony... / [[Donald holds the handle of a nearby door]]
/ Donald: We just took a wrong turn. I'll bet the main hall is right behind this door... / [[A huge, three-headed robotic dog with glowing eyes and the name tag of Kerberos stands in their way]]
/ Kerberos: [[in a computer voice]] Napier's Bones service requested; present ticket granting ticket.
/ Donald and Harry: AAH! / [[The three run away from Kerberos]]
/ Harmony: Who would keep a monster like that in a school?
/ Harry: Someone with something to hide and a REALLY big doghouse! Run! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20080829.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, September 1, 2008 | That robot dog has to be there for a reason.
/ Whatever it is, I don't particularly want to find out. / It said "Napier's Bones service requested". What do you think that means?
/ It's a bloomin' dog. Robot or not, it probably has a bone fetish. / No, no. I've heard that name before, Napier. I'm sure I've read about it somewhere...
/ Is there anything you haven't read about somewhere?
/ Hush, you guys... / Looks like Darco is causing trouble again... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20080901.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, September 3, 2008 | That bully Darco Mouso... he just won't leave Nermal Shorttop alone!
/ It's high time someone did something about that... / Nice shot!
/ I would have to agree... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20080903.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, September 5, 2008 | [[Harry follows Prof McDongle (Patty) down the hall with his head down]]
/ Harry: Aw, man... McDongle is going to bust my chops for throwing that rock at Mouso. I'm going to get kicked out of here for sure... / [[Harry and Prof McDongle stop at Oliver at a locker]]
/ Prof McDongle: Barker, this is Oliver Woot, head of Torvalds' Quakish team. Woot... I believe I've found your new sniper... / [[Donald, Harry, and Harmony meet in the trophy area later]]
/ Narrator: Later...
/ Donald: Subnet sniper! Zounds, Harry! You'd be the youngest in history!
/ Harmony: And it's in your blood. These trophies bear your father's name. / [[A worried Harry and an excited Donald see their reflections in the glass of the Quakish trophy case]]
/ Harry: I don't even know what the heck "Quakish" is.
/ Donald: Brutal game! I'll bet you'll only get fragged a dozen times! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20080905.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, September 8, 2008 | [[Harmony and Donald walk out of the arena with Harry wearing a scuffed Quakish suit]]
/ Narrator: One brutal game of "Quakish" later...
/ Harmony: Brilliant, Harry! You found the golden power-up!
/ Donald: Everybody who missed that game will be royally cheesed off! / [[Harmony looks angry]]
/ Harry: Well, things were going great up until my gun started to jam. It was all I could do then to dodge incoming fire.
/ Harmony: That's because Sysape was hacking your client. / [[Donald speaks with the background image of Harmony crawling behind Sysape at a row of computers]]
/ Donald: It's true. Harmony saw him in the corner, hacking away in front of a monitor. She managed to unplug the power strip and all the computers attached to it. If she hadn't, Sysape would have owned you for sure. / [[Harry, Harmony, and Donald continue to talk]]
/ Harry: But why would Sysape want me to lose the game?
/ Donald: Seriously, mate? He doesn't LIKE you.
/ Harmony: I'm not sure he's ever liked ANYONE. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20080908.html |
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