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|GPF Archive: Monday, July 5, 1999||Dwayne: Heads up, gang! We just bagged the first national account, and to celebrate, I'm treating everyone to lunch! / Trudy: All right! / Fooker: Kewl! / Nick: Yes! / Fooker: Where did you have in mind, chief? / Dwayne: I hear Anthony's pizzaria has an all you can eat special... / Ki: Uh... didn't they ban you for life, Fooker? / Fooker: It's been four years now. Surely they don't remember me...|
|GPF Archive: Tuesday, July 6, 1999||Dwayne: We're the GPF Software party. / Waitress: Five of you? Great! Step this way! / PizzaChief: Wait a minute... aren't you Jason Barker...? / Fooker: Who, me? No, folks call me Fooker. / PizzaChief: "Fooker," huh... That sounds awfully familiar... / Fooker: It's actually a pretty common name...|
|GPF Archive: Wednesday, July 7, 1999||Nick: You mean Fooker was once banned from this restaurant? / Ki: He ate so much all you can eat pizza, they lost over seven-hundred dollars. / Ki: But that was years ago... Surely he'll behave himself this time... / Nick: I wouldn't be too sure... / Dwayne: Five all you can eat specials, please. / Fooker: Better make that seven, just to be fair...|
|GPF Archive: Thursday, July 8, 1999||Nick: I'm in awe... / Ki: I'm in disgust... / Dwayne: I'm sorry I have to pay for all this... / Trudy: I'm glad this blouse hides stains well... / Fooker: I'm going for twenty-thirds. Anybody want me to get something for ya?|
|GPF Archive: Friday, July 9, 1999||Waitress: Uh, sir, you've eaten all the pizza in the building. I'm going to ask you to leave... / Fooker: We'll wait for you to make more. / Waitress: Sir, we don't have any more ingredients. We won't be able to make any more pizza for days! / PizzaChief: It IS you... / PizzaChier: You ARE Jason Barker! My old nemesis! The man who almost destroyed my business... / Fooker: Uh... check please?|
|GPF Archive: Saturday, July 10, 1999||Nick: Have you read this? Antony's pizzaria is moving to Athens. / Ki: Athens: That's over a hundred miles from here! / Ki: I wonder if this has anything to do with Fooker almost putting them out of business. / Nick: If it does, it will all be in vain. / [[In the pizzaria]] / Fooker: Howdy. / PizzaChief: AHHHH!|
|GPF Archive: Monday, July 12, 1999||Dwayne: It looks like the gang has done another excellent job. This application works great! And done in record time, too... / Dwayne: Man, I miss those days of programming all night and day, coding furiously... I've been caught up running this business. I'm losing my programming roots... / Dwayne: So... Need an extra pair of hands? / Ki&Nick: ?|
|GPF Archive: Tuesday, July 13, 1999||Dwayne: I feel like I'm losing touch with my programmer's roots. I've been running this company so long, I've lost my zeal to code. / Dwayne: So I've decided to break out of my office and get my hands dirty with you guys. Besides, we could use an extra programmer on this project. / Ki: It could be worse... He could have been Dilbert's boss... / Dwayne: So... Are we using PL/1 or Cobol?|
|GPF Archive: Wednesday, July 14, 1999||Dwayne: This is great! Back in the trenches, coding again... Uh, wait a minute, Nick... / Dwayne: Don't you have to deallocate the memory that object is using? / Nick: Not in Java. The garbage collector frees memory automatically. / Dwayne: Wow... Is there anything you have to do yourself? / Nick: Not with a good IDE. I think I only write three lines of code in this entire applet.|
|GPF Archive: Thursday, July 15, 1999||Fooker: Back in the programming saddle again, chief? / Dwayne: Complete with saddle sores. / Dwayne: I went into this CGI program for the customer's web app to update it, but I must confess, I don't know any Perl... / Dwayne: So... what do all these dollar signs mean? / Fooker: We can't make any money without them.|
|GPF Archive: Friday, July 16, 1999||Dwayne: At last! I've found some C++ code that needs updating! I may not know Perl or Java, but this I can definitely do! / Dwayne: I can feel the adrenaline surge as I rip thourgh code on vi, then switch back to a unix prompt to compile... / Fooker: I don't have the hear to tell him we've replaced that old program with a new one in Java... / Dwayne: Yes! It compiles! It compiles!|
|GPF Archive: Saturday, July 17, 1999||Fooker: GPF Software, this is Jason... Oh, hi Nicole... Yeah, I know it's late, but we have to have this app ready for the customer by monday... / Fooker: Your husband? Yeah, Dwayne's still here... He's pretty proud of himself, doing some coding again... You should see him go... like a college student on No-Doz. / Fooker: You're right, though... Most college students don't have to answer to angry sleepy wives... / Dwayne: Just 100 more lines of code...|
|GPF Archive: Monday, July 19, 1999||Trudy: I think I will devote my entire week to making someone's life miserable. But who shall it be...? / Trudy: I must give Ki some time to lick her wounds before I attack here again, and Dwayne can wait until after I get my next raise. And Nick? I have very special plans for him later... / Trudy: This should be SO easy...
/ Fooker: <
|GPF Archive: Tuesday, July 20, 1999||[[Trudy leaning against a wall at the top of a staircase, Fooker walking by]] / Fooker: <
|GPF Archive: Wednesday, July 21, 1999||[[Fooker is sitting at his computer, typing. Trudy is standing behind him, wearing an overcoat (or perhaps a raincoat). She's holding it closed with her hands on the lapels, just under her breasts. Fooker turns his head to the right as Trudy starts speaking.]]
/ Trudy: Fooker, I need your opinion on something...
/ Fooker: Uh... Okay... / Trudy: [[flashes Fooker]] Is this outfit a little too skimpy to wear in public?
/ [[Fooker's eyes poing out, his hair stands straight on end and he jerks back at the sight.]]
|GPF Archive: Thursday, July 22, 1999||Ki: So Trudy's put you on her hit list too, huh?
/ Fooker: Undoubtedly. / Fooker: I can't figure her out. I mean, yeah, I came on to her when she first got here, but I haven't done anything since...
|GPF Archive: Friday, July 23, 1999||[[Fooker angrily storms into the room]]
/ Fooker: All right, Trudy! We need to talk! This pointless torture has to stop now!
/ Trudy: ? / [[Trudy, wearing a malicious grin, puts her hand on his chest. Fooker starts flop-sweating.]]
/ Trudy: Oh, but Fooker, this is only my form of FOREPLAY. You see, I'm preparing you for the most stimulating, mind-numbing, sexual experience of your life, where I will PLEASURE you endlessly for weeks on end!
/ Fooker: <
|GPF Archive: Saturday, July 24, 1999||[[In the restroom]] / Ki: All right, Trudy. What have you done with Fooker? / Trudy: I'm afraid I have no idea what you're talking about. / Ki: He's been missing for three days, and was last seen with you... / Trudy: I refuse to answer the question on grounds that anything I say may incriminate me... / [[Fooker is hanging upside down on a wall in a torture dungeon]] / Fooker: So... um, Trudy... When do we get to the good part? You know, the "endless pleasure?" Hello? Trudy?|
|GPF Archive: Monday, July 26, 1999||Fooker: Why so glum, chum? / Nick: I'm having a small crisis of conscience, Fooker... / Nick: I told you about this "Pookel" mess, right? The girl who's my secret admirer on IRC? / Fooker: Yeah. You've been chatting with her online since last December... / Fooker: Don't tell me you just found out she's a 300-pound prison inmate named Chuck... / Nick: No... Nothing quite THAT disturbing...|
|GPF Archive: Tuesday, July 27, 1999||Nick: I've been chatting online with "Pookel" for months now, and I'm still not sure what to think. / Nick: I know she lives nearby; she's seen me in person. But I'm debating on whether I should meet her face to face. If she wants a relationship, I want it to be real and not virtual. / Fooker: You two haven't had cybersex, right? / Nick: Of course not! / Fooker: Then go for it. Otherwise, scram.|
|GPF Archive: Wednesday, July 28, 1999||Fooker: [[In thought]] Man, I can't believe Nick's having such a moral dilemma with this IRC chick. He should just enjoy the attention and have fun... / Fooker: [[In thought]] Man, these server logs are full. Looks like Dwayne's web surfing during lunch again... Hello... What's this...? / Fooker: Say, Ki... Does the login name "Pookel" ring a bell? / Ki: [[In shock]] !|
|GPF Archive: Thursday, July 29, 1999||[[Ki is sitting at her computer workstation. The monitor is barely visible. Fooker is holding a piece of paper. Ki whips her head around as she attempts to deny the accusation.]] / Ki: "Pookel"? Why, no, I don't have a login called "pookel"... / Fooker: Funny, the server logs say otherwise... / [[The paper is densely covered with computerese.]] / Fooker: Someone's been going through the firewall to an IRC server using the user name "Pookel." I did a DNS lookup and traced it back to your IP address ... / [[Ki has turned fully around in her chair. Fooker points at the paper.]] / Ki: I... er... It's not me. I swear! / Fooker: The logs, Ki! The logs never lie!|
|GPF Archive: Friday, July 30, 1999||Fooker: Okay, so you're chatting online with Nick under the login "Pookel," and you've got him thinking you're his secret admirer. Sounds cool. / Ki: You won't tell him? / Fooker: 'course not! I never told him what you told me at the space con, did I? I know you like him, and hom you go about telling him is none of my business. / Ki: Thanks, Fooker. / Fooker: Although the direct approach might get you quicker results... / Ki: I'll schedule my own social life, thank you...|
|GPF Archive: Saturday, July 31, 1999||[[Nick (as Gort) and Pookel chatting on IRC]] / Gort: So... what are we going to chat about tonight? / Pookel: Gort, I have a little confession to make... / Pookel: A friend of mine came to me today and told me it wasn't right for me to keep you guessing about my identity. He said I should come right out and tell you who I am. It's only fair... / Pookel: But I decided it's more fun to string you along, but I *will* tell you if you make a guess and end up correct... / Gort: Can I randomly guess names, or do I have to put thought into this?|
|GPF Archive: Monday, August 2, 1999||Chuck: Yo, neighbor! You home? / Fooker: Come on in, Chuck! / Fred: Uh oh, better hide... / Chuck: You heard the news? This woman's movin' in next door, and I hear she's a real babe. / Fooker: You gotta be kidding! / Fred: Obviously, she hasn't checked the testosterone levels in this building yet... / Chuck: Uh, who said that? / Fooker: Said what?|
|GPF Archive: Tuesday, August 3, 1999||Fooker: Did you hear that, Fred? A babe is moving into the apartment next door! / Fred: Already, I empathize with her, poor girl... / Fooker: At last, a member of the female species living under the same roof as me... / Fred: Same roof, different apartment, brain child. / Fooker: I must prepare to woo her with my cunning charm and rapier wit... / Fred: And disgust her with your antediluvian hygiene...|
|GPF Archive: Wednesday, August 4, 1999||Fred: Have you heard the news, my darling Persephone? A poor woman is moving into the apartment next door! / Fooker: ? / Persephone: The poor girl! She'll never survive in this environment! / Fooker: Waitaminute... You named the slime mold that budded off of you after the greek goddess of the underworld? / Fred: Ah, yes, Persephone... / Fred: A beautiful woman stolen away from the world of light to live in the squalor of the realm of the dead... Somehow, I found the analogy appropriate... / Persephone: Isn't Fred so romantic?|
|GPF Archive: Thursday, August 5, 1999||Fooker: Joke all you want, you two, but I'm going to offer to help the new girl move in and show her I can be a true gentleman. / Fred: Boy, THAT'LL be a stretch... / Fooker: I will carry her furniture. I will assemble her electronic equipment. I will offer to help her in any way possible... / Fred: You will stand idly by flapping your jaw, while your neighbor Chuck beats you to her... / Fooker: Not if I can help it...|
|GPF Archive: Friday, August 6, 1999||Chuck: No way, Fooker! I'm first in line to help this new girl, and I'll make the first impression. You're going to have to wait. / <
|GPF Archive: Saturday, August 7, 1999||Fooker: Okay, Fooker, you've gotta make a good first impression on this babe who's your new neighbor. Otherwise, she won't see you for the true sex magnet you are.
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