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| GPF Archive: Monday, August 23, 2004 | [[Fooker is inside the "Regional Telecom" building]]
/ Miguel: Ah, Jason! Welcome to Regional Telecom! / [[Fooker is in a suit with his hair combed back, into a ponytail]]
/ Miguel: After that glowing recommendation Dwayne gave of you, I've been anxious to meet you. I'm Miguel Rodriguez. / Miguel: Based on the resume you faxed over, you seem a perfect match for what we've got planned. I only have one tiny thing to ask you about... / Miguel: This... um, murder conviction thing... I heard you were eventually acquitted...
/ Fooker: Yes. It was the killer cyborg from the future that looked like me. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20040823.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, August 24, 2004 | [[Fooker and Miguel are sitting in Miguel's office]]
/ Miguel: Okay, just to make sure it's clear, this is a short-term contract. I understand Dwayne's looking to rehire you soon, so that shouldn't be a problem. / Miguel: As sys admin, you'll get a pager and may be "on call," especially holidays and weekends. Oh... and dress is business casual.
/ Fooker: Okie-doke. / [[Miguel points out Fooker's shorts]]
/ Miguel: Um... maybe I didn't make that clear... I'm afraid the shorts will have to go... / [[Out in the cube-farm, people stick out their heads and spill coffee]]
/ Fooker: Noooooooooo!!!! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20040824.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, August 25, 2004 | [[Sharon, Fooker, Nick, Ki, and Fred are in Nick's kitchen]]
/ Sharon: I don't get it... why is it such a big deal that you can't wear shorts on this job?
/ Ki: Fooker always wears shorts... / Ki: At least he always has as long as I've known him, and I've known him the longest of any of us.
/ Nick: Except when he's forced to... or when he was "James Baud"... / Fooker: That's the gist of it, Nick. Fooker has always worn shorts; Baud always wore pants. It was kind of my way to tell the two apart, to keep my two identities unique and separate. / Ki: Maybe you could learn a thing or two about that from Trish...
/ Nick: Hrmph. Not likely...
/ Sharon: Aw, who's my little mixed up sweetie?
/ Fooker: Not helping... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20040825.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, August 26, 2004 | [[Miguel is showing Fooker his cubicle]]
/ Miguel: Okay, Jason. Here's your cubicle. But first let me show you around. Jack is your neighbor; he's a physical DBA.
/ Jack: Yo. / [[Miguel shows Fooker around]]
/ Miguel: This is Patty and Tim. They're mostly desktop support, so you'll work with them frequently.
/ Fooker: Hiya. / [[Tim sips some coffee]]
/ Miguel: Bob's and application DBA and sablime admin, while Gina is our NT user admin...
/ < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20040826.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, August 27, 2004 | [[Scott is under a desk with a computer on it]]
/ Tim: Scott! Scott!
/ < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20040827.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, August 28, 2004 | [[Scott is talking to Tim and Patty]]
/ Scott: Are you sure it was Barker? Did you see him with your own eyes?
/ Tim: Yes! He said hello! Miguel was showing him around so he must work here now! / Scott: Did he recognize you?
/ Tim: Not that I could tell, no.
/ Patty: Okay, does this have anything to do with that boys-only geek club you guys were with? / Scott: The Brotherhood of the Twisted Pair was no "club," Patricia. It was the epitome of geekdom. Sadly, it fell to its own short-sightedness, the exclusion of female geeks being only one of many faults. / [[Scott places his hands on the shoulders of Tim and Patty]]
/ Scott: But we, the new brotherhood, shall not fail. And if he is indeed the one, Barker shall become one with us...
/ Patty: Did I just get drafted? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20040828.html |
| GPF Archive: Sunday, August 29, 2004 | [[Three geeks in ties stand in front of old tape drives]]
/ Scott: The genesis of the brotherhood was humble enough. Loose associations of computer geeks formed at high tech companies and universities through the 1960s and 1970s... / [[Two terminals are connected through a modem link]]
/ Scott: Through BBSes, arpanet, and ultimately the internet, these isolated pockets of ubergeeks slowly began to coalesce. The most elite hackers began to find each other, despite real world distances... / [[Four members of the brotherhood stand in robes and shadows]]
/ Scott: Soon we began to isolate ourselves from the noobz, script kiddies, and wannabes. We formed a secret society devoted to the purity of hacking, where only the best of the best could enter. / [[A person sits in front of a computer]]
/ Scott: All was fine until Google put a near full archive of usenet online. A brother known as "thePROPH3T" analyzed the decades of posts and made a startling revelation: a prophecy hidden between the flame wars and the "me too" posts... / [[A person stands, arms outstretched, between the world and a glowing computer]]
/ Scott: One day, a hacker will arise like none other, whose skills are without equal. He (or she) will initiate a golden age of geekdom, and lead a revolution of ideas that will transform the computerized world... / [[Patty and Tim are in the office, listening to Scott]]
/ Patty: Does he always go off on exposition like this?
/ Tim: Not always, but once he gets started...
/ Scott: Do you mind? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20040829.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, August 30, 2004 | [[Robed members of the brotherhood stand in conversation]]
/ Scott: The prophecy of the one was not well received. Many called it rubbish, or at least a bad "Matrix" or "Babylon 5" reference. This was the first sign of fractures in the brotherhood. / [[Scott stands by a computer, hood down]]
/ Scott: At first I too was skeptical. But then "thePROPH3T" showed me his evidence. As Zero One, the duly elected leader, I made finding the one one of our long-term goals. / Scott: If the one came from the brotherhood (a natural assumption, given our quality of membership), it would place us in an unprecedented position of power, far above the "suits" we usually serve in our day jobs... / [[Patty and Tim are listening to Scott]]
/ Patty: Not to appear at all interested in where this is going, but what does this have to do with that Barker guy?
/ Scott: I'm getting to it! Patience, wench!
/ Tim: Um, she doesn't like to be called "wench." http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20040830.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, August 31, 2004 | [[Fooker and Fred are surrounded by robed members of the brotherhood]]
/ Scott: Barker came to us in November of 1999. He seemed to be a promising initiate, but nothing more. He passed our tests and joined us... only briefly. / Scott: Shortly after his initiation, he insulted us, then spoke the name of the "great evil." He was immediately expelled from the order and became our mortal enemy. / [[A robed Scott faces the down-turned thumbs of the other brotherhood members]]
/ Scott: It was only then that "thePROPH3T" showed me how closely Barker matched the qualities of the one. I tried to reinstate him, but the brothers had already banned his name from even being spoken. / [[Patty and Tim listen to Scott]]
/ Patty: The "great evil?" Who's that? Oh, let me guess... Bill Gates?
/ Scott: Grah! You try my patience, woman!
/ Tim: Um, she doesn't like to be called "woman" like that either... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20040831.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, September 1, 2004 | [[Tim and Patty listen to Scott tell the history of the Brotherhood of the Twisted Pair]]
/ Scott: If I may continue uninterrupted...
/ Patty: Sor-ry.
/ Scott: That incident amplified the rift among us. Some in the brotherhood questioned my leadership. / [[Picture of Fooker as a Quake character]]
/ Scott: Chief among them was Greg, who led a band of brothers in a Quake deathmatch against Barker. I did not sanction the act, but there was little I could do to stop it. / [[Scott faces the brotherhood in council about Sharon]]
/ Scott: The final straw came when the only other candidate for the one surfaced: Sharon Murphy, also of GPF Software, and a woman. Greg and his followers could not accept that a female could be the one, and called for a vote of no confidence. / Scott: But an RIAA/FBI raid did more damage than Greg ever could. The brotherhood was scattered, and only Tim and a few others came back to me. We have continued our quest in secret... until now. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20040901.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, September 2, 2004 | [[Scott tells Patty about the Brotherhood of the Twisted Pair]]
/ Scott: The brotherhood as it began has ended, but the quest for the one has only just begun, and I will continue it with or without the brotherhood. / Scott: Either Barker or Murphy must be the one. Of that I am certain. In all the 'net I have found none to match their skills, and I retained enough resources to make that search thorough. / Scott: We have watched Murphy carefully. She is wise and has done much to protect her networks. Even I have failed to hack into her work or home machines. The one she may be, but she has yet to be truly tested. / Scott: Barker, however, vanished after his murder trial. I never believed in his guilt, but his disappearance is troubling. Wherever he went, he is back, and I will not rest until I know if he is the one... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20040902.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, September 3, 2004 | [[Scott, Tim, and Patty are in the office]]
/ Patty: So how can you tell if this Barker guy is "the one" you keep rambling on about?
/ Tim: The prophecy lists a number of tests to identify the one. / Scott: Barker passed all the rites of initiation, and did so in record time. His skills have also surpassed all those in the brotherhood that he went up against. These alone point to his prowess... / Scott: But "thePROPH3T" found a series of trials that would show us clearly if he is destined for glory.
/ Patty: Whatever. Let's get this over with then. / Tim: Wait a minute... you're interested in joining and helping us now?
/ Patty: Not really, but it beats doing real work... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20040903.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, September 4, 2004 | [[Scott, Tim, and Patty follow Fooker to the kitchen]]
/ Scott: The first and easiest test is his consumption of caffeine. We will observe his reaction to the week-old coffee in the lounge. / [[Scott peeks around the kitchen door, watching Fooker holding the carafe above his mug]] / [[Scott checks his watch as the coffee crawls towards the lip of the carafe]] / [[The coffee finally leaves the carafe]]
/ Fooker: Ooh... I love it when it's evaporated to the consistency of crude oil...
/ Scott: (whispering) Check. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20040904.html |
| GPF Archive: Sunday, September 5, 2004 | [[Scott, Tim, and Patty hide around a corner as Fooker walks to William]]
/ Scott: Little does William know, but he shall facilitate Barker's next phase of testing, thanks to a few anonymous calls to procurement... / [[Fooker talks to William]]
/ William: Since there's no way procurement will get those new servers in by the deadline, we're stuck using this legacy equipment for low-end processing.
/ Fooker: No sweat. What have we got? / William: About four PDP-11/94s, a small Vax 6000 cluster, and a couple of Apple IIe's we can use for terminals. / Fooker: You have got to be joking...
/ William: I wish I were. / Fooker: Fine. Order three large "everything" pizzas and a six-pack of Red Bull, then download the latest Linux kernel source. I've got some cables to splice... / Tim: Do you really think even the one could turn that into a powerful modern server cluster?
/ Scott: Only if you believe in miracles, Tim...
/ Patty: Oh, I can just smell the drama... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20040905.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, September 6, 2004 | [[Fooker walks out of the PDP room with a Red Bull and a slice of pizza]]
/ William: I can't believe you got all those machines working seamlessly...
/ Fooker: Just don't touch the duct tape... / [[Scott, Tim, and Patty watch Fooker]]
/ Tim: Amazing! That test alone should prove he is worthy...
/ Scott: There is more to come. The other brothers should start phase 3 any minute... / [[Amy runs for Fooker]]
/ Amy: Are you the new sys admin? We've got a massive DDoS attack hitting one of our switches! Half the voice and data network for the state is down! / Fooker: Man... I haven't even had time to get claustrophobic in my cube yet. You people sure know how to make a guy's first day memorable... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20040906.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, September 7, 2004 | [[Fooker sits at his desk with Amy and William behind him]]
/ William: Wow... I've never seen someone turn a DDoS of thousands of machines against its originator before...
/ Fooker: When will those script kiddies learn... / Fooker: Well, time to log in and finally make this root login my own... what the... where are the text editors? No vi, no emacs, not even ex, ed, or even pico... / [[Scott, Tim, and Patty watch Fooker from the edge of the cubicles]]
/ Patty: Oh, let me guess. You can tell what kind of geek he is by which editor he downloads and installs, right?
/ Scott: You could say that... / Fooker: Eh. Never liked any of those anyway. I'll just write my own for grins and giggles.
/ Scott: (thinking) Just the answer I was looking for... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20040907.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, September 8, 2004 | [[Scott, Tim, and Patty watch Fooker write his own text editor]]
/ Scott: Now, Patricia! Try to distract him using your feminine wiles!
/ Patty: What?! Are you out of your ever lovin' mind?!
/ Tim: No need! Amy is doing it for us... / [[Amy tries to seduce Fooker]]
/ Amy: You know... I'm really impressed with how you handled that hacker... want to grab some dinner after work, then check out my software? / Amy: I said, why don't you come back to my place, you can scan my ports, and we can interface our input/output in nice rhythmic cycles... / Amy: Hey, Mr. Oblivious. You. Me. Free sex.
/ Fooker: Did you say something? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20040908.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, September 9, 2004 | [[Patty, Tim, and Scott watch Fooker at his computer as Amy walks off]]
/ Scott: Yes! He is at one with his computer! Timothy, send him the e-mail I forwarded to you.
/ Tim: On it. / Fooker: Huh... already got mail. That's odd... it seems to be some sort of odd code. It could be encrypted, or some weird assembler... / Fooker: Ya know, I've got a ton of stuff to do and it's almost quittin' time, so I'll just leave that nugget to look at tomorrow... / [[Scott and Tim look surprised]]
/ Patty: Darn it, now you got me curious. So did he pass this test?
/ Patty: Guys? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20040909.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, September 10, 2004 | [[Patty, Scott, and Tim are talking outside Fooker's cubicle]]
/ Patty: What? What's wrong? He didn't pass?
/ Scott: H-he... he didn't decode the message.
/ Tim: B-but that proves nothing! / Tim: He didn't fail, because he didn't fail to decode it. He just didn't try.
/ Patty: But what's wrong with that? He's had a long day, and he put it off until tomorrow. So? / Scott: You don't understand, Patricia. Even a mild geek would be curious about such a mystery. But the one should be insatiably curious. He would drop everything to discover its meaning. / Scott: He has shown promise, but perhaps I was wrong. Undoubtedly, Barker is not the one... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20040910.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, September 11, 2004 | [[Patty, Scott, and Tim are talking outside of Fooker's cubicle]]
/ Patty: So now what will you do?
/ Scott: We will test Murphy. If Barker is not the one, then perhaps she is. / Tim: Don't give up hope, Scott. The one may not manifest himself in our lifetime. We'll continue to search, and if the source is willing, we will find him someday. / Scott: I know, Tim. It's just I had such... high hopes for Barker... / Fooker: Ya know, I've got a couple minutes. I can look at that mail now. Hey... whadda ya know... that's what it is... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20040911.html |
| GPF Archive: Sunday, September 12, 2004 | [[Nick and Ki are packing]]
/ Ki: Are you sure you want to do this?
/ Nick: Absolutely. / Ki: I mean, my parents are very different from yours. Mom shouldn't give you any problems, but my dad...
/ Nick: No, I'm sure. I want to meet your parents.
/ Ki: You say that now... / Nick: They invited me, didn't they? So I'm not concerned.
/ Ki: Mom invited you. Dad probably doesn't know you are coming. / Nick: Ki, you are the most important and most wonderful thing to ever happen to me, and your parents are a part of who you are. I want them to be as special to me as they are to you. / Ki: Nick, are you okay? You seem.... I don't know. You're acting stranger than normal. Are you up to something?
/ Nick: Who, me? / [[Nick places a shirt and a pair of pants on top of the ring case]]
/ Nick: What ever gave you that idea....? / {{Nick is preparing to propose to Ki}} http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20040912.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, September 13, 2004 | [[Nick and Ki leave Nick's apartment with luggage]]
/ Ki: You are up to something. I can tell by the way your ears turn the slightest bit pink.
/ Nick: Is that so? / [[Nick and Ki are in the departures lounge of an airport]]
/ Ki: You, sir, are the worst liar I've ever met, and you're lousy at keeping secrets from me. So fess up, mister.
/ Nick: I don't know what you are talking about. / [[Nick and Ki are sitting in an airplane]]
/ Ki: I saw that smile! You can try to hide it, but you're lousy at that too! What's this secret you're hiding?
/ Nick: Must've been gas... / [[Nick and Ki are in the arrivals section of another airport]]
/ Ki: C'mon! Tell me! Tell me already! Why won't you tell me? Out with it! I wanna know!
/ Nick: (thinking) That was the most entertaining three hour flight I've ever had... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20040913.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, September 14, 2004 | [[Nick and Ki are in a car outside Ki's parents' house]]
/ Ki: Well, here we are.
/ Nick: Nice house. Did you grow up here?
/ Ki: Most of my life, yes. / Ki: Um... it's getting kind of late. Maybe we should just find a hotel and stay there.
/ Nick: We didn't make reservations, and your mom wanted us to stay here. / Nick: Ki, I know you're a bit nervous. So am I. You were a wreck before you met my folks, and that turned out just fine. I'm sure this won't be any different. / Ki: Can I be nervous anyway? I really want to be nervous for you right now...
/ Nick: Well, if you're determined for me to be nervous, that's a start. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20040914.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, September 15, 2004 | [[Ki hugs her mother at the front door to the Oshiro house]]
/ Ki: Mama! Hóu ma?
/ Mrs. Oshiro: Géi hóu. Hóu ma?
/ Ki: Hóu hóu. / [[Ki presents Nick to her mother]]
/ Ki: Um, Mama, this is my boyfriend, Nick.
/ Nick: Máahn òn néih hóu ma?
/ Mrs. Oshiro: Hóu... / [[Nick gives Mrs. Oshiro a gift]]
/ Nick: I know that it is not Gwo Nìhn, New Years, but I could not find an appropriate greeting reference. So... gùng héi faat chòih. / [[Mrs. Oshiro hugs Nick]]
/ Nick: (thinking) Uh... I don't remember researching this online...
/ Mrs. Oshiro: Ài yá! He is adorable! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20040915.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, September 16, 2004 | [[Nick and Ki enter the Oshiro residence]]
/ Mrs. Oshiro: Ki did not tell me you spoke Cantonese!
/ Ki: It's news to me, too...
/ Nick: Actually, I don't. / Nick: But Ki told me both you and your husband come from strong traditional backgrounds, so I wish to honor your traditions. I tried to do as much research as I could before I came. / Mrs. Oshiro: That is very sweet of you! But I won't hold you to any cultural standards than your own, dear. Just be yourself. Now take that luggage to the stairs and Yoshi will help you carry them. / [[Nick walks towards the stairs]]
/ Mrs. Oshiro: You are keeping this one, right? Please tell me you two have already eloped...
/ Ki: Mama... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20040916.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, September 17, 2004 | [[Yoshi comes down the stairs while Nick stands at the bottom]]
/ Nick: Hello, Yoshi! It's been a while since we last talked. How's school? / [[Yoshi walks past Nick to a table]]
/ Nick: Your mom said to ask you to help me carry this stuff upstairs. Care to lend a hand? / [[Yoshi walks back up the stairs, empty-handed]]
/ Nick: It's just a couple bags... / Nick: Why, yes, Nick. I'd be more than happy to help. Wouldn't want to leave you standing in the hall like an idiot, would we? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20040917.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, September 18, 2004 | [[Ki and Mrs. Oshiro walk to the bottom of the stairs, where Nick is standing]]
/ Mrs. Oshiro: Has Yoshi not come to help you carry your bags?
/ Nick: Came and went. It's okay. I can manage it myself. / Mrs. Oshiro: You must excuse my son. He has been very disrespectful of late.
/ Nick: Given my past experiences with him, he was downright cordial. / Mrs. Oshiro: He has... gotten into trouble recently. I will explain more when the time is more appropriate.
/ Nick: Ki? / [[Mr. Oshiro stands at the top of the stairs]]
/ Ki: Papa-san... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20040918.html |
| GPF Archive: Sunday, September 19, 2004 | [[Mr. Oshiro stands at the top of the stairs, with Nick, Ki, and Mrs. Oshiro at the bottom]]
/ Mr. Oshiro: Kyoko-san. It has been a long time since you came to visit. / [[Ki is bowing]]
/ Ki: Sorry, father. Things have been hectic at work lately. But I have been trying to call more often.
/ Nick: (thinking) "Kyoko?" / [[Ki stands straight]]
/ Mr. Oshiro: And who is this... gaijin...?
/ Ki: This is my boyfriend, Nick. Nick, this is my father. / [[Nick bows]]
/ Nick: Oshiro-sama, I am honored to be welcomed into your home. Konbanwa. Domo arigato gozaimasu. / [[Nick stands and looks through his bags]]
/ Nick: I have brought you a temiyage gift... if I can find it... um, just a second... I had it a minute ago... / Mr. Oshiro: You say you are honored, gaijin, yet you dishonor me by failing to remove your shoes upon entering my home...
/ Nick: (thinking) I knew I was forgetting something... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20040919.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, September 20, 2004 | [[Mrs. Oshiro, Nick and Ki are at the bottom of the stairs as Mr. Oshiro walks off]]
/ Mrs. Oshiro: Dinner will be ready in a few minutes. You children get your bags upstairs. / [[Nick and Ki climb the stairs]]
/ Nick: Well, that went worse than I expected...
/ Ki: I'm just glad he left the katana in its display case... / Ki: You're doing okay. It may not seem like it, but you've already lasted longer than most guys I've brought home.
/ Nick: Perhaps he's mellowed with age... / [[Yoshi stands at the top of the stairs]]
/ Yoshi: Personally, I can't wait to see nerd boy crash and burn like a noob windoze luser's spyware infested PC...
/ Nick, Ki: Shut up, Yoshi... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20040920.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, September 21, 2004 | [[Nick and Ki enter Ki's childhood bedroom]]
/ Nick: So this used to be your bedroom?
/ Ki: Yeah. I'm surprised how little they've changed it. / Nick: Cozy. A nice insight into your past, "Kyoko."
/ Ki: Ugh. I can't believe he still calls me that. / [[Nick sits on Ki's bed]]
/ Ki: It's a long story, but let's just say mom won the bet and dad's a sore loser.
/ Nick: Nice bed. Where do I get to sleep? / [[Yoshi enters Ki's room]]
/ Yoshi: On the tatami floor in the office. If you're lucky, dad will actually let you use a futon, but I doubt it.
/ Nick: Oh, joy. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20040921.html |
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