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| GPF Archive: Sunday, March 2, 2003 | Alarm clock: 5:00 < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20030302.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, March 3, 2003 | Nick: Has anyone seen Dexter? I need to talk to him about this code...
/ Ki: I think he went home early. / Ki: Come to think of it, I haven't seen much of him for a while.
/ Nick: He spends most of his time holed up in his office. / Sharon: Uh, oh. Looks like he's doing it again...
/ Nick: Doing what? Other than the code that shows up on the server, it's almost like he's never here. / Sharon: That's just it. He's going into his "invisible" phase.
/ Ki: Ooh... Dexter disappearing... I like that.
/ Nick: *Ki*... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20030303.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, March 4, 2003 | Nick: What do you mean by Dexter's "invisible phase?"
/ Sharon: Deep down, Dex is a very shy, insecure person. / Sharon: He never really had many friends, so he isn't very socially adept. He tends to over compensate by smothering people. When that fails, he tends to withdraw from everyone. / Ki: I don't remember this...
/ Sharon: That's because you didn't date him as long as I did. I saw him do it at his last job. / Sharon: We need to interact with him and draw him out of his shell.
/ Ki: Personally, I enjoy the level of interactivity with him right now... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20030304.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, March 5, 2003 | Ki: I don't like this. The less i have to interact with Dexter, the better.
/ Sharon: Ki It's for his own good. / Sharon: i know we all have reasond to hate Dexter, and maybe that's part of the problem. We alienate him, so he withdraws. We need to make him part of the team. / Nick: You've got a point Sharon. Dex does have some redeeming qualities, like when he helped in Ney York and during the flood. We should forgive his faults and help him out. / Sharon: That's a great start, Nick. Now convince the last holdout.
/ Ki: Et tu, brute? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20030305.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, March 6, 2003 | Ki: I *refuse* to help you two nurse Dexter's lonesome streak. If anyone has reason to believe he *deserves* alienation, it's *me*. / Ki: From the moment we met, he's hounded me. The one time I gave in, he threw out my stuff to make room for his "gifts." Even when I'm with Nick, he's after me. *Nothing* you can say will make me help. / Sharon: I slept with him. / Ki: Oh my... If you can forgive him of *that*, then count *me* in. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20030306.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, March 7, 2003 | Sharon: Okay, here's the plan. Nick, you're in charge of food. Dex will eat anything. So pick a place based on the rest of our tastes.
/ Nick: Right. / Sharon: Ki, you'll be the front man to lure Dex to our final destination.
/ Ki: Why me? Why don't *you* lure him there? / Sharon: Because every time he has a remotely romantic thought about me, Fooker programmed him to fall in love with Megan Morrone, remember?
/ Ki: GRRR... / Sharon: I'll handle the entertainment. Okay, synchronize your watches. Operation Tubby Buddy begins at 1900 hours.
/ Nick: "Tubby Buddy?" http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20030307.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, March 8, 2003 | Dexter: Ki? What are you doing here?
/ Ki: Um, Dexter, I need your help. / Ki: Nick's busy tonight, and I need someone to help me install a new motherboard.
/ Dexter: Ooh... I'd offer to help, but "Enterprise" is coming on... / Ki: Dexter, *please*? I really could use your help with this. *Pretty* please?
/ Dexter: Oh, the puppy dog eyes! B-But th-the restraining order... / Ki: Shut your yap and get in the car and you'll keep all your teeth.
/ Dexter: Let me put on some pants... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20030308.html |
| GPF Archive: Sunday, March 9, 2003 | [[Nick, Ki, Sharon and Dexter, sitting in a booth. AZZIP S'YNOTNA shows in the window behind them.]]
/ Dexter: Wow... Thanks, guys. This was totally unexpected. What's the occasion, buying me dinner and all? / Nick: Nothing in particular. We just noticed you weren't fitting into the team that quickly. So we decided to break the ice some. / Dexter: All this, after all the stuff I've done to you and Ki?
/ Ki: Against our better judgment. / Sharon: Actually, we have another surprise for you. One I *know* you'll love...
/ Dexter: Really? What's that? / Nick: Bowl-a-Rama?
/ Sharon: Trust me.
/ [[Dexter runs toward the door, arms spread wide]]
/ Dexter: WHEEEEEEEE! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20030309.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, March 10, 2003 | Nick: You mean Dexter is actually nuts about *bowling*?
/ Sharon: Yep. He's a total fanatic. / Dexter: My family used to bowl all the time when I was a kid. I used to bowl in a league once until my contracting firm made me move. / Dexter: I'm just curious how you knew I like bowling so much, Sharon. We hardly know each other...
/ Sharon: Er, I, um... / Ki: What I want to know is why you take your own ball and shoes everywhere you go.
/ Dexter: You never know when there'll be a bowling emergency. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20030310.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, March 11, 2003 | Ki: I think I know why they make bowling shoes so ugly. It's so no one will want to steal the rentals. / Dexter: Here you go. I tried to find balls for you girls that would be a good weight. Let me know if they are too heavy. / Ki: And the finger holes are actually small enough! Thanks, Dexter!
/ Sharon: We're all set, except... Where's Nick? / Ki: I think he's trying to hack the computer scoring terminal...
/ Nick: A BSOD? Who'd use Windows for *this* system? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20030311.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, March 12, 2003 | [[Nick sets up for the throw]] / [[Nick swings his arm back]] / [[Nick releases the ball just at the bottom of the swing]] / Nick: AH *HA*! A STRIKE!
/ Dexter: It only counts if it's in your own lane... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20030312.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, March 13, 2003 | Nick: I *hate* bowling. I'm horrible at it.
/ Ki: Hey, you're doing just fine. Your score is 23. / Nick: Yeah, and I'm on the ninth frame.
/ Sharon: It's okay, Nick. Even Dexter seems to be having an off night. / Nick: Oh, his perfect game was *ruined* by that spare.
/ Ki: Oh, stop being so competitive and just have fun. Think of it this way... / Ki: Bowling is a great way for you to check out my butt without reprimand.
/ Nick: Since when have you ever reprimanded me for *that*? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20030313.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, March 14, 2003 | Dexter: Gee, thanks, guys. This has been the best time I've had in a long time.
/ Sharon: We're glad you enjoyed yourself, Dexter. / Dexter: Um, Ki, I know I've been a real jerk in the past, and I'm sorry. Can we let that slide and be friends?
/ Ki: You're doing better, Dex. Probation lifted. / Dexter: Sharon, you seem to be a nice person. I hope we can be friends too. Being around you reminds me of my life's love, Megan Morrone...
/ Sharon: Um, thanks. I think. / Dexter: Nick... I'm sorry about our past feuds. I'm, um, _really_ sorry you didn't break 100 in three games. Pals? Um, Nick?
/ {{Dark cloud over Nick's head}} http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20030314.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, March 15, 2003 | Sharon: Heh... look at some of the old games in the arcade... I remember that one! / Dexter: Look at this one: A bowling game in a bowling alley! How goofy is that? / Nick: About as goofy as making a video game out of bass fishing.
/ Dexter: Or deer hunting.
/ Nick: Or *any* kind of hunting. / Sharon: Should we put a stop to this gripe fest?
/ Ki: Are you kidding? They're finally getting along...
/ Off-screen: Ooh! Innertubing! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20030315.html |
| GPF Archive: Sunday, March 16, 2003 | [[Scene: The GPF offices. Sharon is sitting at her desk, looking at her monitor. On the wall, a poster of the Gamester is smiling.]]
/ Sharon, thinking: Uh oh... Here we go again... / [[Dwayne's office. Dwayne is at his desk. Sharon enters.]]
/ Sharon: Dwayne? Got a sec? I think our cracker is back...
/ Dwayne: On my way. / [[Sharon and Dwayne walk back to her office.]]
/ Sharon: This is the third time this month. He's still not getting past our firewall, but he's trying some sophisticated hacks. / [[Sharon sits at her computer. Dwayne stands behind and looks over her shoulder. The poster of the Gamester has changed its expression, looking worried or unhappy instead of smiling.]]
/ Dwayne: Are you sure it's the same person?
/ Sharon: Fairly. He's smart enough to hide behind different IP's, but he's using the same basic formula each time. / [[Dwayne puts his hand to his chin and frowns slightly in concentration. Sharon turns her head toward him.]]
/ Dwayne: I wonder if this is the same hacker that Fooker said attacked us over a year ago?
/ Sharon: Could be. Do you know of anyone who might want to attack us? / [[Scene changes to Yoshi's room. Yoshi is sitting at his computer, frowning. His friend Scott stands behind him.]]
/ Scott: Dude... Denied!
/ Yoshi: Bah. Stupid firewall. Next time I'll just do another DDOS. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20030316.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, March 17, 2003 | [[Yoshi is sitting at his computer, downtrodden. His friend, Scott, who has a punk haircut, is playing something on a console system.]]
/ Scott: Tosh, dude. Drop the hackin' stuff and play some GTA.
/ Yoshi: I can't believe I STILL haven't cracked that firewall... / [[Yoshi slides his chair closer to Scott. Scott looks up from his game.]]
/ Scott: Dude, what's your deal with them? You've been hacking that company for weeks.
/ Yoshi: I used to know the Sys Admin there, but they've got someone new. Gotta break her in. / [[Scott goes over to Yoshi's desk and picks up a picture.]]
/ Scott: That the place your sister works at?
/ Yoshi: Yeah, her and all those losers. All except Fooker, and he's the guy that left. / [[Scott's eyes widen as he studies the picture.]]
/ Scott: Dude... Your sis is major babe-age...
/ [[Yoshi's eyes narrow.]]
/ Yoshi: Sheesh, Scott! Don't make me hurl my lunch! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20030317.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, March 18, 2003 | [[Scott & Yoshi are in Yoshi's room. Posters of chemical elements and such adorn the walls. Scott approaches Yoshi, whose head is down.]]
/ Scott: Why do you keep trying to hack your sister's work network?
/ Yoshi: Dunno. Just a challenge, I guess. / Yoshi: I mean, I've hacked more secure nets, like the DoD and the FBI. But I just wanted to match wits with Fooker, I guess. That, and S1r3n dared me to. / [[Yoshi leans on his elbow and puts his head in his hand.]]
/ Scott: S1r3n? That the dude you used to hang with on IRC?
/ Yoshi: Yeah, 'til he just dropped off the 'Net. Haven't heard from him since. / [[Scott looks away, allowing his hair to cover his entire head.]]
/ Scott: Dude, I wish I was half as smart as you. You rock.
/ Yoshi: Scott, do something about that hair. From this angle, you look like Cousin Itt. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20030318.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, March 19, 2003 | [[Yoshi is sitting in his chair by his desk and Scott has moved closer, sitting on the floor.]]
/ Scott: So why do you think S1r3n dropped offline?
/ Yoshi: Dunno. I think he was into some serious illegal stuff. So maybe the Feds nabbed him. / [[Scott looks up, hopeful.]]
/ Scott: Whoa... Was he, like, hackin' big sites? Swipin' credit card numbers?
/ Yoshi: Nah. He tried to act all techie, but he didn't know squat. Even called him on it. / [[Close-up of Yoshi.]]
/ Yoshi: He was into something big about a year ago, and told me to start watching the news about his "big plan," but all I saw was that whacked C.R.U.D.E. stuff in New York. / [[Scott looks down, amazed.]]
/ Scott: Wasn't your sister and her boredfriend there? Did they, like, get to see stuff blow up? That woulda been kewl...
/ [[Yoshi's eyes narrow sarcastically.]]
/ Yoshi: You SERIOUSLY need to get a life... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20030319.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, March 20, 2003 | [[Yoshi turns back to his computer.]]
/ Scott: What do your folks say about you hackin' and hangin' with online crooks?
/ Yoshi: They're about as stupid as they are ignorant. / [[Yoshi turns back to Scott.]]
/ Yoshi: Mom's too involved with her new job while Dad's recovering from his accident. She's hardly home, while he's got his proud head up his proud butt. I've got free rein. / [[Yoshi hunches over in his chair, toward Scott.]]
/ Yoshi: Besides, they're too busy telling Ki what to do to bother with me. I can't wait to see them meet her loser boyfriend, Nick. Someone else for Dad to feel superior to...
/ < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20030320.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, March 21, 2003 | [[Scott leans over the back of Yoshi's chair. Yoshi starts typing to S1r3n.]]
/ Scott: Dude, you got an IM from S1r3n? The online crook dude?
/ Yoshi: Stop saying "dude" so much. You sound like a stoned 80's skater. / [[Yoshi & S1r3n IM back & forth.]]
/ S1r3n: yo, b0r0m1r. you online?
/ b0r0m1r (Yoshi): i'm here. where have you been? you've been offline for a while... / [[Scott's point of view, over Yoshi's shoulder.]]
/ S1r3n: on the run. feds tailing me. at library now, first chance online since. big plans didn't pay out; you're last friend i've got. sending file; keep it safe. / [[Yoshi accepts the file, typing away. Scott gets shaky, he's so anxious.]]
/ Yoshi: S1r3n used to send me stuff hidden in images using steganography...
/ Scott: Dude, this is SO James Bond! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20030321.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, March 22, 2003 | [[Yoshi & S1r3n continue to swap IM's.]]
/ b0r0m1r: got file. what's in it?
/ S1r3n: open and see, but don't show to anyone else. top secret. / [[Scott's point of view, over Yoshi's shoulder.]]
/ S1r3n: gotta go, feds tailing me again. keep file safe. will contact soon.
/ b0r0m1r: ok / [[Scott is standing behind Yoshi, hopeful.]]
/ Scott: This is, like, most excessive kewlness! What's in the file?
/ Yoshi: Like I'm going to open it in front of YOU. Scram. I'll see you at school tomorrow. / [[Yoshi opens the file.]]
/ Yoshi (thinks): What a hoser. Now what could be so important S1r3n would... GREAT NEWTON'S GHOST!
/ [[Yoshi blanches and jumps at the sight on his screen.]]
/ Narration Text: To Be Continued! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20030322.html |
| GPF Archive: Sunday, March 23, 2003 | [[Dwayne and Trent are seated at a fancy restaurant in their best suits. Dwayne looks apprehensive and is giving Trent the evil-eye. Trent is buttoning his cufflinks, looking relaxed.]]
/ Dwayne: Now Trent, don't forget that Goodman Rubber is one of our oldest, most faithful clients, so don't screw this up...
/ Trent: Dwayne, Dwayne, Dwayne... / [[Dwayne is still giving Trent the evil-eye. Trent turns to Dwayne and smiles greasily.]]
/ Trent: You sound like a man who hasn't learned the value of TRUST...
/ Dwayne: You tried to drop a safe on my head.
/ Trent: I rest my case. / [[Mr. Jones of Goodman Rubber enters; Dwayne shakes his hand.]]
/ Dwayne: Hello, Mr. Jones...
/ Mr. Jones: Dwayne Duncan! It's so good to see GPF Software back in business! We certainly missed you... / Dwayne: Thank you, Sir. May I present our new Marketing Director, Trent Terrell.
/ [[Trent smiles greasily again.]]
/ Mr. Jones: Mr. Terrell, nice to meet you. I assume you're taking over for Miss Trueheart? / [[Trent points to hmself. Mr. Jones frowns, thinking aloud.]]
/ Trent: Yes, I'll--
/ Mr. Jones: She was such an interesting young girl. A pretty gal, and so sweet and helpful. It's quite sad that she fell in with that wrong crowd... / Trent: Obviously, we'll have to start things with a clean slate...
/ [[Dwayne is unimpressed with Trent's comment. Mr. Jones smiles again.]]
/ Mr. Jones: I almost set her up with my son once. Why, I bet she'd be just your type, Mr. Terrell... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20030323.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, March 24, 2003 | [[Client is smiling]]
/ Trent: So we can set you up a complete CRM solution to integrate with your existing internal applications. / [[Client looks intriqued]]
/ Trent: Our team can use Corba and Java OOP using XML to link your IIS through ASP, JSP, or even PHP, giving you a competitive ROI. / [[Client looks incredibly happy]]
/ Trent: We'll link the CRM to your RDMS ASAP, while keeping within your SEI CMM KPAS. And FYI, our IT staff is A-OK and OTJ. / [[Dwayne looks at Trent, confused]]
/ Dwayne: You DO know exactly what you're promising him, right?
/ Trent: Not a clue, but I know I'm half-way through the alphabet... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20030324.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, March 25, 2003 | [[Trent is seated next to Mr. Jones, grinning greasily. Mr. Jones looks thrilled at the proposal.]]
/ Mr. Jones: I like it! Your proposal sounds like the perfect solution to our problem, Mr. Terrell. And the price is right, too. / [[Trent stands. Dwayne is looking at him, in disbelief.]]
/ Trent: Excellent! We'll draft up a final contract and have it on your desk by Wednesday. Now, if you'll excuse me for a moment... / [[Trent exits the panel and Mr. Jones and Dwayne are left alone.]]
/ Mr. Jones: My, you seem to have quite a knack for picking the cream of the employee crop, Dwayne. Trudy, Jason Barker, and now Mr. Terrell... / [[Mr. Jones smiles widely.]]
/ Mr. Jones: I think he's going to work out just fine!
/ [[Dwayne's eyes narrow.]]
/ Dwayne (thinks): Here's to hoping you're right... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20030325.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, March 26, 2003 | [[Dwayne walks by Nick's office. Nick is seated, holding his head, looking at a paper.]]
/ Dwayne: How goes the analysis of Trent's Goodman Rubber proposal, Nick?
/ Nick: Ugh. Dwayne, this is a NIGHTMARE. / [[Dwayne approaches and looks at Nick.]]
/ Nick: I don't think Trent has a clue what he's offering. Most of our web servers are Apache on Linux or FreeBSD; he has us using IIS on XP. We don't use IIS for security reasons. / [[Nick looks at the proposal angrily.]]
/ Nick: On top of that, I don't think we have the knowledge or manpower to pull this off. I know -I- don't have training in half of this, and most of these technologies aren't even related! / [[Dwayne's eyes narrow towards the door. Nick raises an eyebrow.]]
/ Dwayne: I think we need to have a long talk with Trent...
/ Nick: And RXQL? What the heck is THAT? Was he just making up acronyms? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20030326.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, March 27, 2003 | [[Nick and Dwayne confront Trent in his office. They are NOT happy. Trent leans over the back of his chair.]]
/ Dwayne: Trent, we have to talk about the Goodman Rubber proposal.
/ Trent: Fire away, Mr. D! / [[Dwayne & Nick are looking angrily at Trent.]]
/ Dwayne: Nick has analyzed your document and, frankly, it's impossible to carry out!
/ [[Nick points to the proposal.]]
/ Nick: It will take us 20 years with 250 people to pull this project off! / [[Trent shrugs off the accusation. Nick points again at the document.]]
/ Trent: Details, details...
/ Nick: Most of these technologies won't even work! This one item even calls for us to break the speed of light! / [[Trent looks slyly at them. Nick looks again at the proposal inquisitively. Dwayne puts his hands on his hips.]]
/ Trent: You boys are just failing to see the big picture...
/ Nick: Although I might have a way around the speed of light thing... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20030327.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, March 28, 2003 | [[Trent throws his arms around Nick and Dwayne. Dwayne is surprised to be touched.]]
/ Trent: Look at this from the big picture, will you now, chums?
/ Nick: "Chums?" / [[Trent makes his smile a little more casual. Dwayne narrows his eyes at Trent.]]
/ trent: We want Goodman Rubber to stay one of our most loyal clients, right? So what's the best way to do that?
/ Dwayne: Do what we've always done? / [[Trent snaps his head over to Nick and puts on the greasy smile, again. He pokes Nick's nose with his own.]]
/ Trent: WRONG! We lock them into a long term contract with stiff penalties for early withdrawl. That way, we own their butts if we win OR lose! / [[Trent turns back to Dwayne, who is starting to get angry.]]
/ Dwayne: So doing a good job and building customer trust and loyalty means nothing?
/ [[Trent smirks.]]
/ Trent: Ah, you still live in the 19th Century. How quaint. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20030328.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, March 29, 2003 | [[Dwayne and Nick are meeting in Dwayne's office about cleaning up Trent's marketing mess]]
/ Dwayne: I just got off the phone with Mr. Jones of Goodman Rubber. I think I've cleared up Trent's muddying of the waters.
/ Nick: Good. / Dwayne: Unfortunately, that means we'll need to negotiate a new requirements document. I want you to meet with their IT lead next week to iron things out.
/ Nick: Okay. / Dwayne: Maybe two geeks can speak the same language and get it right.
/ Nick: You don't suppose Trent's going to get us into any more trouble...? / [[Meanwhile, Trent is on the phone in his own office]]
/ Trent: And we can outsource your entire HR services, with bargain basement prices! What do you say to that, Mr. Gates? / {{Title text: Sales Pitch}} http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20030329.html |
| GPF Archive: Sunday, March 30, 2003 | [[Nicole Duncan is in her bathroom, putting on earrings]]
/ < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20030330.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, March 31, 2003 | [[Dwayne and Nicole are in their car]]
/ Nicole: I can't believe we just left our toddler daughter in the care of a talking slime mold... / Dwayne: I know this sounds weird, Nicole, but Fred and Persephone are very intelligent and capable. They take some getting used to, but they are usually pretty nice. / Nicole: Well, I've heard of them but never met them, so that makes this even weirder.
/ Dwayne: I'm sure Sydney is in capable hands... er, um, pseudopods... / [[Fred is at a computer while Persephone watches Sydney]]
/ Fred: You want me to help you with what?
/ Persephone: A diaper, Fred. Do I need to draw you a diagram? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/20030331.html |
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