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GPF Archive: Friday, November 3, 2000 [[At the high school, after the Halloween party]] / Ki: I am _so_ glad this party is over... / Fooker: You're telling _me_... / Nick: I think Dwayne and Nicole have come to an important realization about kids... / Dwayne: We're going to have one of those... those... _things_... / Nicole: Hold me...
GPF Archive: Saturday, November 4, 2000 [[Outside the school, after the Halloween party]] / Ki: I'm so glad that Halloween party is over. / Fooker: Those kids were total brats. / Nick: Yeah... / Nick: And the entire time, no one figured out that I was Doctor Who... / Fooker: _I_ knew you were Doctor Who. / {{Nick hugs Fooker}} / Nick: I-I love you, man... / Fooker: Sheesh, Nick... There's still people in the parking lot...
GPF Archive: Sunday, November 5, 2000 <> / [[Trudy, looking like a troll, sneaks up behind Ki while she sits at her computer]] / Ki (thinking): Uh, oh... There's that sense of impending doom again... / Ki[[annoyed]]: What do you want this time, Trudy? / Trudy[[with a big, sunny smile]]: Oh, I've just been experimenting, writing my own computer code / Trudy[[with a big, evil smile]]: I took a programming course last week, and wrote my first virus, which has already infected your PC. In the next hour, all your files will be obliterated! / Trudy[[surprised]] <> / Ki[[sanguine]] <> / Computer <> / Trudy[[walking away]]: I hate you geeks... / Ki[[with a wicked grin]]:Gee... I didn't know you could write a virus in COBOL...
GPF Archive: Monday, November 6, 2000 [[Fred reclines on Fooker's chair, watchin TV, holding the remote. Persephone is offpanel.]] / Persephone: Fred, my gelatinous darling, what would you like for dinner? / Fred: Do we have any more of that rotten cheese, my love? / <> / Persephone: No, but there's some moldy pizza in the 'fridge. / Fred: There's always moldy pizza in the fridge. That's all the human eats. / Persephone: Maybe we could use his credit card to order some carry-out AHHH!! / Fred: PERSEPHONE?
GPF Archive: Tuesday, November 7, 2000 Fred: Persephone! Where are you, my love? / Persephone: I've fallen down the drain, and I can't get up! / Fred: I TOLD you to stay away from the sink... / Persephone: Oh, stop lecturing me and get me out of here! / Fred: Let me go get the plunger... / Persephone: Ew... This is disgusting... And THAT'S coming from a slime mold...
 
GPF Archive: Wednesday, November 8, 2000 Fred: Fooker! We have an emergency! Persephone has fallen down the kitchen sink drain! / Fooker: Down the drain? What was she doing up there? / Fred: I told her not to go there, but she was hungry! I tried to save her, but-- / Fooker: You used the plunger? / Fred: I tried, but I couldn't use it without hands! Curse this colloid body! / Fooker: Bring me the Drano. That'll flush her out...
GPF Archive: Thursday, November 9, 2000 [[Fooker's kitchen, Fooker is bending over the sink with a plunger]] / Fooker: I don't think I can see her, Fred. Persephone may have already slipped past the trap. / Fred: We have to save her, Fooker! Imagine if someone finds her! They'll dissect her and experiment on her! / [[Fooker looks at Fred]] / [[Fooker returns to working with the plunger]] / Fooker: Kewl. Just like in "E.T." / Fred: You really are sick, you know that?
GPF Archive: Friday, November 10, 2000 Fred: This is serious, Fooker! Only the three of us know about my and Persephone's existence. We have to find her before someone else does! / Fooker: She'll be okay, Fred. Calm down... / Fred: Okay, Mr. Cool and Collected, imagine if Trudy finds her... / Fooker: ... / Fooker: Bring me the vacuum, Fred, and commence operation "Mega-Suck"... / Fred: Aye aye, captain!
GPF Archive: Saturday, November 11, 2000 Persephone (thought): Ever since I fell down the drain, I've been lost in this maze of pipes! I hope Fred and Fooker can find me... / Persephone (thought): What's this? A drain! Could it be? Maybe, if I yell loud enough, the boys will hear me... / Persephone: Hello? Can anyone hear me? / [[In the apartment above, Trudy stops in amazement.]]
GPF Archive: Monday, November 13, 2000 Fred: It's been hours since Persephone fell down the drain. I'm getting worried about her... / Fooker: We've done all we can do here, Fred. I'm heading to the sewage treatment plant now to look there. / Fred: And if she's not there? She's never left the apartment before. She'll never find her way back alone... / Fooker: Don't worry, Fred. I'm sure she's okay. What's the worst thing that could happen? / Fred (whisper): THAT'S the worst think that could happen... / Trudy: Hi, Fooker! I've got a slime mold to pick with you...
 
GPF Archive: Tuesday, November 14, 2000 Fooker: Trudy! What are you doing here? / Trudy: I live next door, silly! Just thought I'd drop in to torment you... / Fooker: Not now, Trudy. I was just leaving... / Trudy: Aw... Are you looking for something...? Anything missing lately...? / Fooker: Why do I have this burning feeling in my stomach like an alien parasite is going to leap out and eat my brains? / Trudy: Maybe because I just have that effect on people. It's a gift...
GPF Archive: Wednesday, November 15, 2000 Fooker: All right, Trudy. I know something is up, so dispense with all the small talk and get to the real threat. / Trudy: Fooker! You wound me! / Trudy: I am dismayed... no, INJURED by your accusation! To think that is how you perceive me! Perhaps I merely wished to socialize... / Fooker: You're not fooling anyone, Trudy. / Trudy: Fine, be that way. Just for that, you'll never see your talking slime mold again... / Fred: PERSEPHONE!
GPF Archive: Thursday, November 16, 2000 Trudy: So... there's TWO of them... / Fooker: Way to go, Fred... / Fred: Oops... / Persephone: Fred! / Fred: Give me the slime mold, Trudy... / Trudy: No... it's not that easy, Fooker. Do you realize the great opportunities this discovery presents? / Fooker: The great advances in evolutionary science...? / Trudy: The opportunities to torment and blackmail you... / Fred: Do anything she wants. Give her all your money...
GPF Archive: Friday, November 17, 2000 Trudy: I return your talking slime mold on one condition, Fooker. / Fooker (thought): Uh oh... / Trudy: Remember this: soon I will ask a favor of you, and you will do it... or I will reveal to the world your little friends' secret... and destroy you all! / Trudy: MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! / Fooker: I HATE it when she does that. / Fred: Quick! Get her out of that Zip-Lock baggie!
GPF Archive: Saturday, November 18, 2000 Fred: My poor Persephone... lost within the sewer system, captured by the witch Trudy, trapped in a Zip-Lock bag for ransom... / Persephone: I'm free now, Fred... It's all over... / Persephone: But at what cost? Poor Fooker is now under Trudy's evil spell, his personal sacrifice to save us... I fear for his safety... / Fred: Forget the human. Anything can happen to him, as long as you are safe... / Fooker: Watch it, Fred, or you're making a one-way trip to see Mr. Toilet Bowl...
 
GPF Archive: Monday, November 20, 2000 [[Nicole is outside her house, unlocking the door.]] / Nicole thinks: Okay... I've got to clean the house, shop for groceries, call about the air conditioner... / [[Nicole enters the house and looks around with surprise, her hand still on the doorknob.]] / Nicole thinks: What the... this place is spotless! Even the blinds have been dusted. And there's the bread, so he's been to the store... / [[Nicole puts one hand on her hip.]] / Nicole (loudly): Dwayne! What did you do this time?
GPF Archive: Tuesday, November 21, 2000 Dwayne: Hey, baby! What's up? / Nicole: Dwayne, what's going on here? You've cooked, you've cleaned... What happened? / Dwayne: Well, I took off work early and decided, "Why not?" So I cleaned, had the A/C fixed, went to the store... / Nicole: What's the occasion? / Dwayne: ...Just because? / Nicole: All right. Who are you, and what did you do with my husband?
GPF Archive: Wednesday, November 22, 2000 Nicole: I don't get it, honey... Why all the cleaning and stuff? This isn't like you... / Dwayne: What, I can't decide to help you out one day? / Nicole: Sorry. You just don't normally do this. I'll help put some groceries away... / Dwayne: Absolutely not! A woman in your condition shouldn't need to be doing such things! / Nicole: A woman in my condition? Dwayne, I'm pregnant! It's not like I have the plague! / Dwayne: Put that briefcase down before you hurt yourself...
GPF Archive: Thursday, November 23, 2000 [[Nicole and Dwayne are talking in their home. Nicole has her hand on Dwayne's cheek]] / NICOLE : So THAT'S what this is all about. You've done all this so I would not have to because I'm pregnant. / DWAYNE : Looks like I've been caught. / [[Nicole throws her arms round Dwayne's neck and the two smooch]] / DWAYNE : I love you Nicole, and I love the fact we're going to be parents. That's our child you're carrying, and I want everything to be perfect. / NICOLE : Honey, that's so sweet... / [[Nicole turns to run off, Dwayne is still holding her hand]] / NICOLE : ...But I REALLY have to got to the bathroom... / DWAYNE : THAT you'll have to do yourself, but I WILL flush for you....
GPF Archive: Friday, November 24, 2000 [[Dwayne and Nicole sit on the couch eating out of bowls, Nicole leaning back against Dwayne]] / Dwayne: SO HOW WAS THE DWAYNE DUNCAN CHILI SURPRISE? / Nicole: INTERESTING...BUT PRETTY GOOD FOR A FIRST ATTEMPT. / [[Closeup]] / Dwayne: HERE, GIVE ME THAT AND I'LL DO THE DISHES. / Nicole: YOU KNOW, YOU NEVER TREATED ME THIS GOOD WHILE WE WERE DATING... / [[Longshot, Nicole is laying her head in Dwayne's lap]] / Nicole: MAYBE WE SHOULD DO THIS "HAVING A BABY" THING MORE OFTEN. / Dwayne: YOU SAY THAT NOW, BUT WHEN YOU GO INTO LABOR, YOU'LL WISH I WAS NEVER BORN...
GPF Archive: Friday, November 24, 2000 [[Dwayne and Nicole sit on the couch eating out of bowls, Nicole leaning back against Dwayne]] / Dwayne: SO HOW WAS THE DWAYNE DUNCAN CHILI SURPRISE? / Nicole: INTERESTING...BUT PRETTY GOOD FOR A FIRST ATTEMPT. / [[Closeup]] / Dwayne: HERE, GIVE ME THAT AND I'LL DO THE DISHES. / Nicole: YOU KNOW, YOU NEVER TREATED ME THIS GOOD WHILE WE WERE DATING... / [[Longshot, Nicole is laying her head in Dwayne's lap]] / Nicole: MAYBE WE SHOULD DO THIS "HAVING A BABY" THING MORE OFTEN. / Dwayne: YOU SAY THAT NOW, BUT WHEN YOU GO INTO LABOR, YOU'LL WISH I WAS NEVER BORN...
 
GPF Archive: Saturday, November 25, 2000 [[Ki enters, flourishing a piece of paper. Nick and Fooker are sitting on a bench]] / KI : Look, guys! Dwayne just showed me Nicole's first sonogram! / FOOKER : Wow! / NICK : Kewl! / [[Nick and Fooker stand and inspect the sonogram]] / KI : See? Here's the head, and a foot... / NICK : No. THAT'S a foot. THAT'S an arm... / FOOKER : And everyone knows what THAT is... / [[KI looks menacingly at Fooker who returns the stare. Nick looks toward the reader]] / KI : Get real. That's a FOOT. / FOOKER : SURE it is... / NICK : Baby sonograms are like a Rorschach test; everyone sees what they want to see...
GPF Archive: Monday, November 27, 2000 Ki: Razzem frazzem stupid code won't compile... stinkin' stupid compiler... can't be a lousy syntax error... grumble fume... / Fooker: Looks like it's that time of the month again, huh, Ki? / Ki: ! / Ki: That's it, buster! Say one more sexist remark like that, and you'll face the wrath of "Mr. Pookel!" / Fooker: Mister What?!
GPF Archive: Tuesday, November 28, 2000 [[Ki and Fooker are talking. Ki is holding a cute teddy bear]] / KI : Fooker, this is "Mr. Pookel." He is my attack bear. He will mercilessly pummel anyone who makes a sexist remark against me. / [[Fooker looks angry and has his hands open in front of him]] / FOOKER : Why do you women always think I'm making sexist remarks all the time? / [[Ki hits Fooker round the head with the bear]] / <> / [[Ki walks off in a huff leaving Fooker rubbing the side of his head]] / KI : You should think twice before saying such things in front of him... / FOOKER : That little plastic nose is HARD...
GPF Archive: Wednesday, November 29, 2000 Fooker: Ki, what's the deal with the stupid stuffed bear? Aren't you a little too old for teddy bears? Or is this a "girl thing?" / [[Ki hits Fooker upside the head with her bear, Mr. Pookel.]] / <> / Ki: I hope Mr. Pookel has answered your question... / Fooker: Right, got it. A stupid girl thing...
GPF Archive: Thursday, November 30, 2000 [[Ki is clutching a teddy bear, Fooker is typing]] / [[Ki whacks Fooker with the teddy bear]] / <> / Fooker: Hey! I didn't say anything sexist! / Ki: No, but you were thinking about it...
 
GPF Archive: Friday, December 1, 2000 [[Fooker is standing with hands on hips, a football helmet on and a look of definance]] / FOOKER : Ha! Let's see "Mr. Pookel" hit me in the head now that I'm wearing Dad's old football helmet! / [[Ki hits Fooker in the groin with the teddy]] / <> / FOOKER : Eep! / [[Fooker is floored, all we can see is a hand raised in pain. Ki stands with hands on hips and grimaces]] / KI : Looks like you forgot to put on your dad's old cup, too... / FOOKER : What do you... feed that... teddy? ... Bricks...?
GPF Archive: Saturday, December 2, 2000 [[Fooker and Nick are walking together through the office]] / Fooker: I don't know, Nick... I'm thinking we could replace that old compiled CGI with a mod_perl script, then-- / [[Ki appears holding a teddy bear, fooker leaps back, his hair standing on end]] / Fooker: YIPE! / Nick: ? / [[Fooker runs off in panic]] / Fooker: Not the bear! Not the bear! / Nick: Did I miss something? / Ki: Nothing important.
GPF Archive: Sunday, December 3, 2000 {{This comic is drawn very much in the style of the Calvin and Hobbes strip series to which it refers}} / [[Extended Sunday edition panel, a snowy wood with footprints leading to a GPF logo, which obscures the characters]] / Nick: Fooker... / [[Fooker is standing behind Nick who is sitting on a red plastic toboggan, Fooker wears red earmuffs, Nick a red beanie]] / Nick: Have you ever pondered the meaning of "Calvin and Hobbes"? / Fooker: How so? / [[Fooker is now sitting on the back of the toboggan, both are going downhill at speed]] / Nick: I mean, they are forever hurling themselves down the same hill, always discussing some deep philosophical argument... / [[They speed off into the distance]] / Nick: It's as if Fate draws them into a continual causality loop. thrusting them to inevitably grapple with their destiny while plunging invariably toward the rocky stream of life below. / [[The toboggan crashes on a rock, hurling Nick and Fooker into the air]] / [[Nick and Fooker lay in the snow, Fooker with his head buried in a drift]] / Nick: Maybe we should just stick to bad Unix jokes... / Fooker: % what is saccharine / Fooker: bad substitute
GPF Archive: Monday, December 4, 2000 Ki: Ah, good old Mr. Pookel... I wish the years could have been as kind to me as they have been to you... / Ki: I hope Nick never finds out I used your name as that IRC handle... I feel so guilty about testing his loyalty, and for keeping that whole "secret admirer" thing from him for so long... / Ki: Think you could tell him for me...? / Ki: Nah, didn't think so...
GPF Archive: Tuesday, December 5, 2000 [[Ki enters her office space]] / KI : Well, Mr. Pookel, I better pack you up and take you home... You've done your job... / [[KI finds a note on her chair]] / KI : Mr. Pookel? / KI { thinking } : Huh? What's this? / [[Ki reads the note and is dumbstruck]] / NOTE { in cutout newpaper letters } : if You wanT tO See beaR AgaIn... / [[Ki crushes the note in her hand and clenching the other turns to leave]] / <> / KI : FOOKER!
 

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