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| GPF Archive: Monday, December 7, 1998 | Okay, team. Our next project will take all of our creative efforts. We must tap into our talents for true inspiration. / We must put more imagination into our work. Let your dreams take flight and lead you to the answer! / Is it okay if our imaginations just kinda glide instead of fly?
/ Right now, my imagination wants to lead me to the bathroom... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19981207.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, December 8, 1998 | I know you want us to put more imagination into our work, Dwayne, but... / ...I think somebody got a little carried away...
/ Just a little... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19981208.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, December 9, 1998 | Fooker, what is this?
/ It's a 1/1000-scale replica of the New York City skyline, made of old printouts, circuit boards, and disks. / You said to put more imagination into our work. Well... my imagination ran away from me. / This isn't happening...
/ Hey Dwayne! Check out this bust of Eisenhower...
/ Actually, it's Captain Picard... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19981209.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, December 10, 1998 | You should be careful telling those racy jokes around Ki, Fooker. These days, you never know who will take offense. / ... / I'd sue you for sexual harassment if I hadn't laughed. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19981210.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, December 11, 1998 | Do you believe in all these conspiracy theories, Fooker?
/ Nah... / Conspiracies are nothing more than a conspiracy to get people to believe in conspiracies so they can really conspire to do something. / Oooookaaaay...
/ Didja know Elvis is really dead? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19981211.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, December 12, 1998 | Thanks for inviting me to lunch with you, Dwayne, Although I didn't expect it...
/ I confess, Nick, I have an ulterior motive. / Of all the staff you're the one I trust most to give me a straight answer, and that's what I want, blunt and to the point so tell me... / Am I nuts, or is it you three that are insane?
/ We are, sir, totally bonkers. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19981212.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, December 14, 1998 | Mr. Jones: Dwayne, I love the work your man Jason did on our project. He's such an inspiration. I'd love to have him give a lecture at our company luncheon on Thursday.
/ Dwayne: Mr. Jones, I don't think-- / Mr Jones: Great! Make sure to have him there by noon, see you there!
/ Dwayne: B-but Fooker's not... he's... / [to himself]
/ Dwayne: I'm ruined. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19981214.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, December 14, 1998 | Mr. Jones: Dwayne, I love the work your man Jason did on our project. He's such an inspiration. I'd love to have him give a lecture at our company luncheon on Thursday.
/ Dwayne: Mr. Jones, I don't think-- / Mr Jones: Great! Make sure to have him there by noon, see you there!
/ Dwayne: B-but Fooker's not... he's... / [to himself]
/ Dwayne: I'm ruined. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19981214.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, December 14, 1998 | Mr. Jones: Dwayne, I love the work your man Jason did on our project. He's such an inspiration. I'd love to have him give a lecture at our company luncheon on Thursday.
/ Dwayne: Mr. Jones, I don't think-- / Mr Jones: Great! Make sure to have him there by noon, see you there!
/ Dwayne: B-but Fooker's not... he's... / [to himself]
/ Dwayne: I'm ruined. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19981214.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, December 15, 1998 | WHAT'S WRONG, DWAYNE.
/ A CLIENT WANTS FOOKER TO GIVE A SPEECH AT THEIR COMPANY LUNCHEON THIS WEEK. / DON'T WORRY, BOSS I KNOW FOOKER SEEMS A BIT ECCENTRIC, BUT I'M SURE HE CAN STRAIGHTEN HIS ACT IN A CRITICAL SITUATION LIKE THIS. / HEY, KI! WATCH ME SQUIRT MAYONNAISE OUT MY NOSE!
/ OR, I COULD BE WRONG... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19981215.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, December 16, 1998 | Dwayne: I swear, Fooker, if you embarrass us here in front of our client's entire staff...
/ Fooker: No sweat, D-man. I'll be cool as liquid nitrogen. / [[Sign reads]] Welcome GOODMAN RUBBER LUNCHEON / [to himself]
/ Fooker: Hmm... better can the condom jokes. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19981216.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, December 16, 1998 | Dwayne: I swear, Fooker, if you embarrass us here in front of our client's entire staff...
/ Fooker: No sweat, D-man. I'll be cool as liquid nitrogen. / [[Sign reads]] Welcome GOODMAN RUBBER LUNCHEON / [to himself]
/ Fooker: Hmm... better can the condom jokes. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19981216.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, December 17, 1998 | Fooker: I would like to thank Mr. Jones and all of you at Goodman Rubber for having me for lunch today... / Fooker: Well... you're not really having me for lunch... that would be disgusting... but it would explain the texture of the roast beef... < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19981217.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, December 17, 1998 | Fooker: I would like to thank Mr. Jones and all of you at Goodman Rubber for having me for lunch today... / Fooker: Well... you're not really having me for lunch... that would be disgusting... but it would explain the texture of the roast beef... < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19981217.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, December 18, 1998 | That was an outstanding lecture, Jason! I was quite amazed!
/ As was I...
/ Thanx. / May I ask... would you consider teaching a training class for our systems department?
/ Hmm... / Warping young minds and molding them in my image...
/ NO! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19981218.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, December 19, 1998 | Gang, I know we're small and we just brought in Nick, but I think it's time we hire a marketing director to ease distribution. / Yes, Fooker? / Can we bring in a babe? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19981219.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, December 21, 1998 | GORT: I'm new to these IRC chat rooms, so I could use a help, if you don't mind... / POOKEL: sure, gort. i'll gladly help with anything you need... chat, telnet, cybersex... *ANYTHING*... / GORT: Uh... you *are* female... right?
/ POOKEL: did i mention that i like your butt? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19981221.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, December 22, 1998 | POOKEL: like a log in, in court. robot from "day the earth stood still?"
/ GORT: Yeah... / ... Look, how do you know who I am? *DO* you know who I am?
/ POOKEL: i know who you are, nick... / ... think of me as your secret admirer. ;-)
/ CYBERRAT: Uh... is this a private chat room? http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19981222.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, December 23, 1998 | Ever used IRC, Ki?
/ Not really. / Oh. / Mind if I ask for a little advice?
/ Fire away. / ... about women?
/ Well, I'm no expert but... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19981223.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, December 24, 1998 | So this mystery chick "Pookel" on IRC chat is calling herself my "secret admirer."
/ Wow... / I'm not used to best. I mean, I never got this attention before. And, while she hasn't done anything threatening its scary that she can stock me like that. And yet... / ... It kinda gives ya a perverse little thrill, doesn't it?
/ I can feel the hormones coursing in my veins... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19981224.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, December 25, 1998 | I wouldn't worry about your IRC woman, Nick. As long as she doesn't go psycho on you, I'd just enjoy the fun.
/ I guess you're right, Ki. / Thanks a lot.
/ Any time. / IRC CHAT SERVER login:
/ pookel http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19981225.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, December 26, 1998 | [[Nick, wearing a T-shirt, is sitting at his computer, typing. There's an abstract structure on top of his monitor that looks like a stick-and-ball model of a 5-atom molecule.]]
/ Computer: POOKEL: figured out who i am yet?
/ Nick < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19981226.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, December 28, 1998 | [[Nick and Ki are sitting, Nick at his computer, Ki next to him. Fooker is behind them, standing, pointing his thumb back at something off-screen. Ki is looking at Fooker over her shoulder, as if he just walked in.]]
/ Fooker: Hey, gang! Remember how a week ago Dwayne talked about hiring a new marketing director?
/ Nick: Yeah. Why? / [[Close shot of Fooker]]
/ Fooker: He's been interviewing people all week, and I think he's called someone back today. / [[Back to group shot. Fooker is standing with his hands on his hips, looking back over his shoulder. Nick is still looking at his monitor, and Ki is still looking at Fooker, pr perhaps glaring at him.]]
/ Fooker: I hope it's a babe...
/ Ki: If he says that one more time, I'm gonna pull a Lorena Bobbit... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19981228.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, December 29, 1998 | OKAY, TRUDY, YOU'RE APPLYING FOR OUR POSITION OF MARKETING DIRECTOR?
/ YES, SIR! / UM... OUT OF CURIOSITY, DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE LIKE THAT?
/ ANNOYINGLY SO , SIR! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19981229.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, December 30, 1998 | Dwayne: Nick, Fooker, this is Trudy, our new director of marketing.
/ Trudy: Hi!
/ Nick: Hi. / Dwayne: Now I'll introduce you to Ki... / Nick: Well, you got your wish... She's a babe.
/ Fooker: There is a God. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19981230.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, December 31, 1998 | Dwayne: I'll let you two ladies get acquainted while I catch up on some paper work. / Ki: Hi. I'm Ki. You're... ?
/ Trudy: Trudy. / Ki: Why do I feel like I just shook hands with a denizen of the undead ?
/ Trudy: I usually have that effect on puny, inferior lifeforms. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19981231.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, January 1, 1999 | Nick: So, Ki, what's your opinion on our new marketing director ?
/ Ki: I don't know... / Ki: It's nice to know there's another girl around here, but there's something... WEIRD about her. And not a Fooker-weird, either. / Ki: "I think she scares me..."
/ Trudy: Hee hee!
/ < http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19990101.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, January 2, 1999 | Trudy: With our new marketing scheme, we will dominate the market, monopolizing all profits. / Trudy: We will slaughter, maim, eviscerate, decapitate, and otherwise kill the competition, then bury them with a copy of our software in their cold, dead hands! / Trudy: MUHAHAHA !! / Fooker: I think I'm in lust. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19990102.html |
| GPF Archive: Monday, January 4, 1999 | Ki: Uh, Dwayne, can I ask you something about this new marketing chick, Trudy?
/ Dwayne: Sure, Ki. / Ki: Have you noticed anything odd about her? I mean, besides always smiling all the time ? She freaks me out. Just how did she get this job anyhow ? / Dwayne: She has all the qualifications. That, and all the other applicants seemed to start disappearing mysteriously once she applied... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19990104.html |
| GPF Archive: Tuesday, January 5, 1999 | Ki: Don't you find it strange that all the other applicants vanished once Trudy applied for the marketing director position ? / Dwayne: Odd, but not unheard of, Ki. The job market is a wild and wooly place, anything can happen. Perhaps Trudy's qualifications scared all the other applicants off. / Ki: Either that, or she had the mob rub them out...
/ Dwayne: Funny... She doesn't look italian... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19990105.html |
| GPF Archive: Wednesday, January 6, 1999 | Dwayne: Okay, I will give you that Trudy is a bit odd, but I don't think we have anything to worry about, Ki. / Dwayne: Sometimes, we just get bad first impressions. She has a very happy disposition that can be a bit annoying. Just give her another change, Okay ? / Ki: Okay, but I get to shoot her if she tries to harm me first. / Trudy: Mmm ! http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19990106.html |
| GPF Archive: Thursday, January 7, 1999 | [[Trudy addresses a typically hunched-over Fooker.]]
/ Trudy: So...How did you get such an interesting nickname like "Fooker", hm? / [[Fooker puts his arm conspiratorially around Trudy's shoulders.]]
/ Foooker: How 'bout you, me, and a bottle o' wine at my place, and I'll show you? / [[Trudy retains her painted-on smile. Fooker beats a hasty retreat while hearing Trudy's threat.]]
/ Trudy: How about I rip out your kidneys, stuff them with dynamite, and shove them up your--
/ Fooker: Never mind. http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19990107.html |
| GPF Archive: Friday, January 8, 1999 | Trudy: Hi, Nick! I hope I'm not interrupting, but I just wanted to drop by and give you this.
/ Nick: A card ? Why, thanks, Trudy! / Trudy: Since we're all going to be working together, I thought it would be nice to start off on the right foot. Maybe we'll even become friends! / Nick: What's this ? Your phone number ?
/ Trudy: Just in case you need it... For any old reason... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19990108.html |
| GPF Archive: Saturday, January 9, 1999 | Ki: That Trudy chick bothers me. I can't put my finger on it yet, but I get the feeling she's going to be trouble. / Fooker: I second that. She's freaky weird, weirder than me. She's one hot number, though.
/ Nick: I think she's pretty nice. / Ki: Obviously, we are not all of the same consensus here, are we?
/ Nick: She gave me a nice card... http://www.gpf-comics.com/d/19990109.html |
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