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|GPF Archive: Monday, April 26, 1999||Dwayne: Guess what, gang! We've all been invited to a black-tie gala where one of our products is receiving an award ! / [[Everyone stand still]] / Dwayne: Forget I mentioned it. / Ki: Do I have to wear a dress ? / Fooker: I don't own any dresses...|
|GPF Archive: Tuesday, April 27, 1999||Nick: Hurry up, Fooker! We have to pick up Ki in five minutes. / Fooker: Don't sweat, Nickmeister. / Fooker: Do you know how long it's been since I wore a tux ? / Nick: Can't be half as long as it's taking you to get dressed now... / [[Fooker show up in a white tux with a black tie]] / Nick: Uh... / Fooker:...|
|GPF Archive: Wednesday, April 28, 1999||Nick: I can't believe you're wearing plaid. / Fooker: Hey, Dwayne made me wear long pants, so don't push it. / [[Fooker look out of the car]] / Fooker: Can I hang my head out the window and howl at passing babes ? / Nick: NO.|
|GPF Archive: Thursday, April 29, 1999||Fooker: Wow. Ki's building is pretty ritzy.
/ Nick: Compared to your place Alcatraz was ritzy.
|GPF Archive: Friday, April 30, 1999||Ki: I can't believe I'm wearing a dress. I hate dresses. / Nick: You look great, Ki. Really. / Ki: Why is it, when it comes to formal occasions, men get completely clothed from head to toe while women have to show as much cleavage and leg as possible? / Nick: No, it doesn't seem quite fair... / Ki: Have...|
|GPF Archive: Saturday, May 1, 1999||Ki: Well, here we are... / Nick: Now we just wait for Dwayne and Trudy. / Fooker: Hey there hot stuff... / Ki: I know it will never happen, but I wish, just once, I could top that Trudy and look better than she does. / Nick: Gee, Ki, I think-- / Trudy: Well, look who's already here! / Ki: Boy, do I need...|
|GPF Archive: Monday, May 3, 1999||Narrator: The GPF gang attends a black-tie gala... / Fooker: Dwayne called to say he'll be a few minutes late, and we should go on in without him. / Fooker: It's been a long time since I've been to fancy shindig like this. I can feel it in my cummerbund that we're going to have a blast! / Nick: I don't...|
|GPF Archive: Tuesday, May 4, 1999||Nick: Why do women go nuts when someone else wears the same dress they do, Fooker ?
/ Girls: <
|GPF Archive: Wednesday, May 5, 1999||Dwayne: Sorry I'm late. I had to drop Nicole off at the Hilton. She's got her own big dinner meeting to go to tonight. / Fooker: No sweat, chief. So goes the married life. / Dwayne: Have I missed anything? / Fooker: Some guy said your speech has been pushed back a notch, the chef is allergic to shellfish,...|
|GPF Archive: Thursday, May 6, 1999||Dwayne: We at GPF Software are honored by your hospitality, and we would like to thank YOU, Gunther Petroleum, Inc., for choosing US to be your software solutions team. / Dwayne: I am often asked what our secret is. It's no secret: It is TEAMWORK. Our team works as one seamless unit to design, implement,...|
|GPF Archive: Friday, May 7, 1999||Trudy: You know, Nick, the night is still young... Now that the gala is over, I'm sure we could find something interesting to do... / Nick: Well, I... / Ki: Excuse me... / Ki: Nick happens to be MY ride, so why don't you just hop in YOUR car and go home, Trudy? / Nick: She does have a point. See you...|
|GPF Archive: Saturday, May 8, 1999||Ki: I'm sorry about all the fuss with Trudy tonight. I guess we ruined everyone's evening... / Nick: No, that would be Fooker dancing on the piano. / Ki: Heh heh... I guess you're right. / Nick: Yeah. Heh. / [[Embarrassed silence]] / Nick: Um... See you monday ? / Ki: Sure. [[thinking]] Unless you want...|
|GPF Archive: Monday, May 10, 1999||Good morning, Ki! / Whatever. / Some mix-up we had this weekend, huh? You and me showing up at that gala, accidentally wearing the same dress... / Yeah, real funny... / Of course, YOU were really about twenty pounds too heavy for that dress. I, on the other hand, was absolutely stunning... / I'll show...|
|GPF Archive: Tuesday, May 11, 1999||Time to check the ol' e-mail... / ! / I don't know how you got me on the "nude picture of William Shatner of the Day" mailing list, but I swear... / I'm no expert, but I know enough to be dangerous...|
|GPF Archive: Wednesday, May 12, 1999||Why do I get the feeling that when I open this door, swarms of killer bees will attack me...? / Close, but try something a lot more painful...|
|GPF Archive: Thursday, May 13, 1999||Well, if it isn't Kai... did you find the little surprise that left at your doorstep this morning? / That's it... / What you want from me, Trudy? You insult me, you put me on perverse mailing lists, you make me afraid to enter my own office, and now you leave a dead cat at my door! What did I do to...|
|GPF Archive: Friday, May 14, 1999||I don't know what to do, Fooker. Trudy's been tormenting me all week for no apparent reason. It's driving me nuts! / We knew she was odd from the start, but lately, she's gotten downright hostile. I almost think she's been conspiring against me. I never did anything to her, I tried to be nice, and...|
|GPF Archive: Saturday, May 15, 1999||I've called both of you in here because Ki has brought some serious accusations against you, Trudy. Tell me truthfully: did you do these things to her? / Heavens no! / Ki, do you have any evidence directly linking Trudy to be ask you described? / Well... not really... / Then I suggest you to settle...|
|GPF Archive: Monday, May 17, 1999||What are you doing, Fred? / Slime mold calisthenics.|
|GPF Archive: Tuesday, May 18, 1999||Fooker: Ah, a bowl of cereal, the morning paper, and cartoon network... what a way to start a -- / [[Fred is in cereal bowl]] / ! / Fooker: FRED!!! / Fred: Sor-ry! Excuse me for being hungry...|
|GPF Archive: Wednesday, May 19, 1999||Fooker: You're getting fat, Fred. / Fred: I am NOT getting fat. / Fooker: You need to go on a diet. / Fred: I am preparing to begin mitosis. / Fooker: That's right, make up excuses for eating all my food... / Fred: For your small brain, I'm pregnant.|
|GPF Archive: Thursday, May 20, 1999||Fooker: Y-you're pregnant?! / Fred: Not exactly. I'm about to begin mitosis, or cell division. / Fooker: But... you're Fred... you're a GUY... / Fred: I'm a slime mold, you dolt. I'm sexless. / Fooker: Maybe I should have called you Fredrica... / Fred: I give up.|
|GPF Archive: Friday, May 21, 1999||Fooker: So, you're going to just split into, and another slime mold appears? / Fred: That's about the size of it. / Fooker: No sex, no foreplay, no kinky stuff... not even a mate to do it with? / Fred: Wow, the creature learns... / Fooker: Gee... that must reek. / Fred: Hey, I don't write the biology...|
|GPF Archive: Saturday, May 22, 1999||[[Fred is stretching]].
/ Fred: Nnnghhh... / [[Fred splits in two]]
|GPF Archive: Monday, May 24, 1999||Nick: Look's like I got a letter from my uncle, Dr. Wisebottom. / Ki: Who's he? / Nick: He's a crackpot inventor. Fruity as a nutcake. A total loon. He says he's coming to visit. / Nick: Wonder when the old coot will get here... / Wisebottom: Hello, Nicholas.|
|GPF Archive: Tuesday, May 25, 1999||Nick: Uncle Wisebottom! / Wisebottom: Ek, who did you expect, Issac Newton? / Wisebottom: I wanted to see where you work, where you eat, where you sleep, where you use the bathroom, you're flesh and blood, and I want to know where that genetic material has been lately. / Wisebottom: Now, introduce me...|
|GPF Archive: Wednesday, May 26, 1999||Wisebottom: Ah, Ki... The Chinese word for inner beauty and strength. A beautiful name for a beautiful woman. / Ki: Why, thank you, Dr. Wisebottom. / Wisebottom: Otto, please. / Wisebottom: Looks like you've got a real hot tamale here, Nicholas. Don't let this one get away... / Nick: Uncle Wise... / Ki:...|
|GPF Archive: Thursday, May 27, 1999||Ki: Nick says you're an inventor, prof. Wisebottom. What all things have you invented? / Nick: Uh oh... / Wisebottom: Oh, lots of things. / Wisebottom: I once invented the world's first perpetual motion motor. Once you got it started, you would never have to stop it again. / Ki: Wow! What happened? / Wisebottom:...|
|GPF Archive: Friday, May 28, 1999||Wisebottom: ...so the plutonium isotope says to the organic polymer, "that's no free radical, that's my wife!" / << Haha! Heehee! Har Ho Hoot Snort!>> / [[Ki remain still]] / Nick: I... uh, took a bit of chemistry in college... / Wisebottom: Okay, a chemist, a physicist, and a rabbi walk into a ba...|
|GPF Archive: Saturday, May 29, 1999||Wisebottom: Sorry I couldn't stay longer, Nicholas, but I'm needed back at the lab. / Ki: Some crazy new experiment brewing...? / Wisebottom: Nah. I'm the only one with the keys to the rec room. Hold this. / Ki: ? / [[Wisebottom wears a propeller on his helmet]] / Wisebottom: Well, I'm off! / Nick: Your...|
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