You're browsing the archives of General Protection Fault.
You can search these comics too.

show: [ show full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]

GPF Archive: Monday, February 15, 1999 Nick: Man, Fooker sure is making a fool of himself in front of the whole code-aholics anonymous group. / Ki: What else is new ? He can make a fool of himself anywhere. / Nick: I don't know about you, Ki, but this place isn't helping me with anything. / Ki: Except for a good laugh. Just so long as they...
GPF Archive: Tuesday, February 16, 1999 Ki: My name is Ki, and I am NOT a code-aholic. / Alan: Oooh, I think I sense some denial... / Ki: My boss told me to come here because I play computer games. That is NOT a problem. / Alan: Name one thing you've done in the past 24 hours that didn't involve computers. / Ki: Uh... / Alan: I thought so...
GPF Archive: Wednesday, February 17, 1999 Alan: Does anybody have any questions we can ask Ki to help her realize she's a code-aholic ? / Alan: Yes, Dexter ? / Dexter: Are you seeing anyone... ?
GPF Archive: Thursday, February 18, 1999 Ki: I have never been so humiliated... / Fooker: Hey, buck up, Ki. Ol' sewage-wick-guy gave up on you. / Ki: Still, I don't like jurassic park boy leering at me over there... / Fooker: Ignore him. Just have fun watching Nick toy with Alan's mind... / Nick: I've considered having cybernetic implants installed...
GPF Archive: Friday, February 19, 1999 Ki: I'm so glad that's over. / Fooker: I just love how Nick told Sedgewikki he sleeps with a keyboard under his pillow. / Ki: And the cybernetic implants... / Fooker: Or how you can compile java bytecode in your head... / Fooker: I think you had him going 'til you told him Bill Gates calls you up for...
 
GPF Archive: Saturday, February 20, 1999 Dwayne: So... How was code-aholics anonymous ? / Nick: It started out slow, but ended up pretty fun. / Fooker: Nick was doing a great-- / Dwayne: That's fine. I need your help first. / Dwayne: I'm having trouble with my e-mail and it's driving me crazy!!! / Nick: Call Sedgewikki and tell him we have another...
GPF Archive: Monday, February 22, 1999 Narrator: As Nick Drifts off to peaceful slumber, let us peer into his dreams... / <> / [[We enter Nick's dream]] / Narrator: GEEK WARS Episode 45: The evil empire has once more cracked down on the once valiant rebellion. Their only hope is the rescue of the princess and the secret plans that...
GPF Archive: Tuesday, February 23, 1999 Narrator: Nick dreams of "Geek Wars"... / Nick: Obi-Dwayne Bologna! My uncle told me you were dead! / Dwayne: Not yet, young Starskipper. / Dwayne: You must travel with me to Alderham and help me save the princess and free the galaxy from the tyrrany of the evil galactic emp-- / Dwayne: Waitaminute......
GPF Archive: Wednesday, February 24, 1999 Narrator: Nick dreams of "Geek Wars"... / Fooker: Fook Goslow, space captain. What can I do you for ? / Dwayne: We want to charter your ship. / Fooker: Is it dangerous ? / Dwayne: Yes. / Fooker: Hopeless ? / Dwayne: Definitely. / Fooker: Pointless ? / Dwayne: Could be. / Fooker: Mindless ? / Dwayne: Absolutely. / Fooker:...
GPF Archive: Thursday, February 25, 1999 Narrator: Nick dreams of "Geek Wars"... / Nick: This is your ship ? What a piece of junk! / Fooker: She may not look like much... / Fooker: ...but she can make point-five beyond light-speed. That fast enough for you ? / Nick: That'll out-run imperial cruisers... / Nick: But isn't that a little over...
 
GPF Archive: Friday, February 26, 1999 Narrator: Nick dreams of "Geek Wars"... / Fooker: We're here at the right coordinates... But there's no Alderham! / Fooker: The only thing here is that small moon... / Dwayne: That's no moon... It's a space station ! / Fooker: Are you sure it's not Roseanne Barr... ? / Dwayne: Yeah... Roseanne wouldn't...
GPF Archive: Saturday, February 27, 1999 Narrator: Nick dreams of "Geek Wars"... / Nick: I have a bad feeling about this... / [[Written on the station: "Welcome to the Death Sphere - Have a nice death!"]]
GPF Archive: Monday, March 1, 1999 Narrator: Nick continues to dream of "Geek Wars"... / <> / Nick: We've been sucked inside the dreaded death sphere ! / Dwayne: No... I sense my old pupil and nemesis... / Dwayne: Barf Bader! / BarfBader: Search that ship and kill everyone on board. I feel especially evil today...
GPF Archive: Tuesday, March 2, 1999 Narrator: Nick dreams of "Geek Wars"... / Nick: Now that we stole these imperial barnstormer uniforms, we can find the princess... / Fooker: Whoa ! Princess ? What princess ? / Dwayne: I must confront Barf Baser and have my pivotal death scene... / Fooker: Is this princess a babe ? / Nick: How should I...
GPF Archive: Wednesday, March 3, 1999 Narrator: Nick dreams of "Geek Wars"... / Nick: We're Nick Starskipper and Fook Goslow! We're here to rescue you, your highness! / Ki: Who ? / Nick: We're here with Obi-Dwayne Bologna. We're going to help you save the rebellion! / Ki: It's about time! Let's go! / Nick: Now we have to make it back to the...
 
GPF Archive: Thursday, March 4, 1999 Narrator: Nick dreams of "Geek Wars"... / Nick: We must make it back to the ship, so you can get the plans for the death sphere to the rebels, princess! / Ki: Lead on, handsome! / [[Everyone's surprised]] / Nick: OH, NO! / Nick: Barf Bader! / BarfBader: Now you must face me, boy! / Dwayne: Hey, I didn't...
GPF Archive: Friday, March 5, 1999 Narrator: Nick dreams of "Geek Wars"... / BardBader: I have slain Obi-Dwayne Bologna, and now I will destroy you ! / <> / Everyone: ! / Ki: Quick, Nock! Use your lightsabre! / Nick: Uh, I don't have one of those... / BarfBader: Too bad...
GPF Archive: Saturday, March 6, 1999 BarfBader: Before I kill you, I will reveal my true identity, for I am... / Trudy: ... your mother! / [[Everyone's suprised again, Nick woke up]] / Nick: <>
GPF Archive: Monday, March 8, 1999 Nick: You know, this world can be so screwed up sometimes... What it really needs is good leadership. / Ki: Amen, brother. / Nick: Maybe I should conquer the world and set myself up as supreme dictator. / Ki: Sounds kewl. / Ki: [[thinking]] Can I be your queen ?
GPF Archive: Tuesday, March 9, 1999 Fooker: Ya know, I've heard that, with the right know-how, two programmers could conquer the world through the internet. / [[Fooker leaves]] / Nick: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering... / Ki: I think so, Brain...
 
GPF Archive: Wednesday, March 10, 1999 Nick: Fooker's right. Given our internet knowledge, we could take over the world in a matter of days through the internet. / Ki: Kewl / <> / Nick: But I don't think I'm ready yet. Maybe we should keep this for a rainy weekend. / Ki: You're right. / <> / Nick: Two weeks from friday...
GPF Archive: Thursday, March 11, 1999 [[Ki & Nick, thinking]] / Nick: I'm really starting to enjoy Ki's company. We're becomming good friends. Joking around like this, although... sometimes... / Nick: Sometimes, I think she'd like to be more than friends. Maybe I'm reading more into her actions than I should, but sometimes I get the feeling...
GPF Archive: Friday, March 12, 1999 [[Nick thinking]] / Nick: Maybe all these thoughts about Ki liking me as more than just a friend are unfounded. Lord knows my instincts on this matter have been wrong before. / Nick: I never really dated much, and every girl I asked out shot me down. And, as if to add even more confusion, this "Pookel"...
GPF Archive: Saturday, March 13, 1999 Nick: Who am I kidding ? I can't go out with Ki ! She's a coworker ! Certainly the strains of trying to maintain both an intimate and working relationship would be too much for us. / Nick: And whoever this "Pookel" on IRC is, she can't be taken seriously. We're talking about a woman I've only chatted...
GPF Archive: Monday, March 15, 1999 <> / Fooker: Whoa... An alien space ship ?! / [[Fooker get abducted by some alien light]] / <> / <> / [[Fooker come back with some "Reject" stickers on him]] / <> / <>
 
GPF Archive: Tuesday, March 16, 1999 [[Ki & Nick shocked]] / Ki: Fooker! What happened ?! / Fooker: I was abducted by aliens. / Fooker: They beamed me up to their ship and performed painful, humiliating experiments on me, many of which had kinky sexual acts involved. I barely escaped with my life ! / Nick: And you expect us to believe all...
GPF Archive: Wednesday, March 17, 1999 [[An alien stand behind Fooker]] / Fooker : ! / [[Moment of silence]] / Fooker: Oh, you want your little doodad back, don't you ? / Alien: See if we visit this planet again! / <>
GPF Archive: Thursday, March 18, 1999 Alien: Where are the rest of our "doodads" you stole ? / Fooker : What doodads ? / [[Fooker see the monster pet the aliens got]] / Fooker: Oh, THOSE doodads...
GPF Archive: Friday, March 19, 1999 Alien: You have disgraced us, earther ! You have made us the laughing stock of the galaxy ! / Fooker: Sorry... / Alien: We travelled trillions of moolans to study your race, and now we return in disgrace. Because of you, we will be exiled to the seventh moon of auxor and tortured for a thousand ganadans! / Alien:...
GPF Archive: Saturday, March 20, 1999 Fooker: Look, I'm sorry, really ! Um... Let's see... "Nanu nanu!" No... How about "Kaplah!" No... Er... "Gort, Klatuu Baratta Nickto!" / Alien: <> / Alien: Oooh... You are severely trying my patience, earther ! You don't even know what you're saying ! / Fooker: Danger, Will Robinson ? / Alien:...
 

Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60
61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80
81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100
101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 >>