You're browsing the archives of General Protection Fault.
You can search these comics too.

show: [ show full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]

GPF Archive: Thursday, May 24, 2001 Dr. Nefarious: Welcome, my friends, to the seventh annual C.R.U.D.E. auditions and grande initiate ball! / Dr. Nefarious: This is the time we, the members of C.R.U.D.E. -- The Commune of Really Unscrupulous and Diabolical Evildoers -- scour the world for the greatest sinister minds to add to our collective. / Dr....
GPF Archive: Friday, May 25, 2001 [[Dr Nefarious speaks to an auditorium, Trudy is in the foreground]] / Dr Nefarious: We've invited each of you here because you are the vilest, most despicable of your lot. Only the worst of the worst make it this far. / [[Extreme close up of Dr Nefarious]] / Dr Nefarious: Over the next few days, you...
GPF Archive: Saturday, May 26, 2001 Dr. Not: (Sigh)... Does Nefarious HAVE to be so... so... "Over the top?" / Moldfinger{out of frame}: Now, now, Dr. Not... / Moldfinger: You know he has that flair for the over-dramatic. It's the "Old School" villain in him. / Dr. Not: Still, why does he have to turn this into a three ring circus, Moldfinger? / Moldfinger:...
GPF Archive: Monday, May 28, 2001 [[A referee is sitting at a table, Ralph from Melonpool is applying while the Head Alien from It's Walky stands nearby]] / Narrator: The C.R.U.D.E. eliminations quickly begin. . . / Refereee: No Aliens. / Ralph: BAH! / [[Still at the referee's table, Ralph is replaced by Ubersoft's boss in his shadowy...
GPF Archive: Monday, May 28, 2001 [[A referee is sitting at a table, Ralph from Melonpool is applying while the Head Alien from It's Walky stands nearby]] / Narrator: The C.R.U.D.E. eliminations quickly begin. . . / Refereee: No Aliens. / Ralph: BAH! / [[Still at the referee's table, Ralph is replaced by Ubersoft's boss in his shadowy...
GPF Archive: Tuesday, May 29, 2001 [[Gav notices Trudy.]] / Gav: I couldn't help but notice such a beautiful lady in front of me... / Trudy: Why, thank you. / Trudy: Aren't you the one who build the giant robotic ant? / Gav: No, but I wrote the homicidal sentient AI that possessed it. / Gav: So, are you trying out for the mad scientist...
 
GPF Archive: Wednesday, May 30, 2001 CRUDE Interviewer: Very interesting credentials, Miss Trueheart. But there are some pretty bold claims you've made here. . . / Trudy: I know. / CRUDE Interviewer: We can verify some, like your arms smuggling ring in Afghanistan and the whole "Nerdvana" scheme, but others have no one claiming responsibility....
GPF Archive: Thursday, May 31, 2001 [[Gav, from Nukees, and Trudy are standing in the foreground of a crowd]] / Gavin: I made it! I'm in! / Trudy: Not quite yet, Mr. Pincushion.You have to pass the tests first. / [[Close up on Gav and Trudy]] / Gav: Whozzawha--? / Trudy: The credential check is only the first step. Next is a battery of tests...
GPF Archive: Friday, June 1, 2001 [[Trudy and Gav are at the front of a crowd where the administrator is explaining the test to them.]] / Test Administrator: You have two minutes to cruelly slaughter as many fluffy little bunnies as you can. You may begin. / [[An anonymous applicant is seen tromping on bunnies in a test chamber, blood...
GPF Archive: Saturday, June 2, 2001 [[CRUDE leaders observe the ongoing tests...]] / Moldfinger: Who's the current front-runner? / Dr. Not: This girl here. Trueheart. Low technical scores, but she excels everywhere else. / Dr. Nefarious: Oooh... Excellent manipulation skills. I like her style... / Moldfinger: Hmph. / Dr. Not: Problem, Moldfinger? / Moldfinger:...
GPF Archive: Sunday, June 3, 2001 [[Nick, Ki and Fooker at Wacky Burger...]] / Nick [[thinking to himself]]: Oh, boy... A Wacky burger deluxe, add bacon and no lettuce! / [[As Nick takes his first bite, the burger falls apart.]] <> <> / [[His shirt smeared with burger and ketchup, he expresses dismay and annoyance:]] / Nick:...
 
GPF Archive: Monday, June 4, 2001 [[Against a background of many heads, Trudy and her companion for the evening, Gav, are watching disqualified candidates going by. / This panel shows Userfriendly.org's Pitr character leaving, offended]] / Narrator: Steadily, the competition narrows to but a few... / Pitr: Am thinkink this contest is beink...
GPF Archive: Tuesday, June 5, 2001 [[An administrator is speaking to a panicked Gav, as Trudy looks on with an evil grin.]] / Gav: Disqualified?! B-But how?!? / Administrator: According to our sources, you were once quoted as saying you'd be a "benevolent fascist dictator." / Gav: Who shot who in the what?! / [[Close up on a saddened Gav,...
GPF Archive: Wednesday, June 6, 2001 {{Trudy has won the job application and is introduced to her new colleagues at C.R.U.D.E.}} / [[Trudy is in a waiting-room. Dr. Nefarious enters through a curtained doorway.]] / Dr. Nefarious: Congratulations, Miss Trueheart! You seem to have outlasted your competition. Welcome to C.R.U.D.E.! / [[Trudy,...
GPF Archive: Thursday, June 7, 2001 [[Dr. Not, Moldfinger, Nefarious, and Trudy standing and talking]] / Nefarious: C.R.U.D.E. was founded several years ago to fix a fatal flaw most supervillans have in their plans: covering all possible scenarios. / [[Trudy and Nefarious facing each other, back of Dr. Not and Moldfinger's head / Nefarious:...
GPF Archive: Friday, June 8, 2001 Dr. Nefarious: There are currently eleven members of C.R.U.D.E., all with different areas of expertise. You will be in Strategic Manipulation, along with Moldfinger. / Trudy: Charming! / Moldfinger: Indeed. / Dr. Nefarious: Here is your member's packet. You will be considered an associate member until...
 
GPF Archive: Saturday, June 9, 2001 [[Connery and Nefarious wander off separately, leaving Not and Trudy together]] / Not: It's about time we got another woman around here. The "boy's club" can be quite trying on the patience. / Connery: We're making a grave mistake, Nefarious. Trueheart is more dangerous than she looks. / Nefarious: Poppycock! / Nefarious:...
GPF Archive: Monday, June 11, 2001 {{Part of the Intervention story arc; an Absurd Notions / General Protection Fault crossover.}} / Nick: Wow... I can't believe a Linux expo of this size would be this close to our area... / Nick: It'll be interesting to see what cooks up here... / Ki: Yeah, but I'm starting to worry about Fooker... / Ki:...
GPF Archive: Tuesday, June 12, 2001 {{Part of the Intervention story arc; an Absurd Notions / General Protection Fault crossover.}} / Nick: I think you're right, Ki. Fooker has changed lately... / Ki: And not for the better. / Nick: Ever since he broke up with Sharon, he's gone on this whole Linux superiority kick... / Nick: I mean, he...
GPF Archive: Wednesday, June 13, 2001 {{Part of the Intervention story arc; an Absurd Notions / General Protection Fault crossover.}} / Fooker: Björn? Björn Jensen? Hey, I'm Jason Barker, aka "Fooker"! / Bjöorn: Ah, the infamous Fooker! At last we meet offline! / Bjöorn: I haven't had time to respond to your post on comp.os.linux.networking... / Fooker:...
GPF Archive: Thursday, June 14, 2001 {{Part of the Intervention story arc; an Absurd Notions / General Protection Fault crossover.}} / Nick: How long have you known Fooker, Björn? / Björn Jensen: Not long. We met on IRC and now exchange e-mail every so often. / Björn: He seemed to change recently, however. He's more aggressive in his Linux...
 
GPF Archive: Friday, June 15, 2001 {{Part of the Intervention story arc; an Absurd Notions / General Protection Fault crossover.}} / Björn Jensen: The Linux community needs informed helpful advocates of change, not zealots like Fooker has become. Those only hurt our chances of legitimacy. / Björn: I'm holding an "advocates' anonymous"...
GPF Archive: Saturday, June 16, 2001 {{Part of the Intervention story arc; an Absurd Notions / General Protection Fault crossover.}} / [[Conference room with several guys, including Fooker and Nick, sitting. Björn Jensen, as the facilitator, is standing.]] / Name on door: Lincoln Conference Room / Sign on door: 8:00 pm - OS Advocacy Anonymous...
GPF Archive: Monday, June 18, 2001 Bjorn Jensen: Thanks for coming, everyone. Most of you here tonight to address a tendency to "OS elitism..." / Fooker: I'm here for the pizza... / Bjorn: Nick, why don't you start off by talking about your friend Fooker? / Nick: Uh, okay. / Nick: Fooker is a great friend, and i admire his knowledge...
GPF Archive: Tuesday, June 19, 2001 Bjorn: So you left your girlfriend simply because she enjoyed using a Mac? / Fooker: Of course! And she even had the gall to call herself a Unix geek. Sheesh. / Bjorn: So... She didn't use a Mac _exclusively_? / Fooker: Well... no. She was a Unix sys admin for an ISP. / Bjorn: So, other than the...
GPF Archive: Wednesday, June 20, 2001 Fooker: I have to agree with this Warwick guy. We have to do anything we can to stop the MS empire, and Linux is the best positioned to deliver. / Warren: That's _Warren_, but I concur. / Fooker: Apple's been fighting Gates for years, and have they made a difference? Not really. And Warsaw's friend...
 
GPF Archive: Thursday, June 21, 2001 Warren: It seems to me like you have a serious lack of subtlety, "Fooker." Perhaps you don't realize the fantastic opportunity you so callously threw away... / Fooker: What do you mean? / Warren: Imagine this beautiful diamond in your possession. A diamond with flaws, but a diamond nonetheless....
GPF Archive: Friday, June 22, 2001 Bjorn: Congratulations, Fooker. I think you've made significant progress this evening... / Fooker: How could I have been so _stupid_? / Nick: Hey, we all make mistakes. The important thing here is you learn from them. / Fooker: Idiot, idiot, idiot... / Bjorn: My work here is done... / Nick: Now...
GPF Archive: Saturday, June 23, 2001 [[Nick and Fooker are in the car, about to drive home]] / Fooker: Thanks again for the wake-up call, Nick. I've been a real idiot lately... / Nick: No sweat, Fooker. / Fooker: Do you think she'll ever take me back? / Nick: Who, Sharon? I don't know. That was a pretty stupid thing you did. / [[Close-up...
GPF Archive: Monday, June 25, 2001 [[Dwayne and Trudy walking in the rain]] / Dwayne: I can't believe it went _that_ poorly... / Dwayne: As far as I could tell, we had this job lined up perfectly. In the bag. This contract alone would secure us for the year. Then the meeting turned sour, they couldn't agree on a price... / Dwayne: Tell...
GPF Archive: Tuesday, June 26, 2001 [[Dwayne driving in the rain, Trudy in the passenger seat]] / Dwayne: I don't get it, Trudy. GPF has never done this poorly. Even during dry work spells, our customers haven't just _abandoned_ us. That's the third we've lost in as many months. / Dwayne: Maybe it's the general downturn in the tech industry....
 

Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60
61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80
81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100
101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 >>