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GPF Archive: Monday, April 10, 2000 Dwayne: All right, team. This hike is meant to teach us cooperation, communication, and interdependence, while still retaining our competitive independence and self-reliance. / Dwayne: This exercise will be entertaining, yet educational. It should be inspirational, enlightening, and encouraging. ...
GPF Archive: Tuesday, April 11, 2000 Ki: This is nuts, going on some stupid team-building hike in the middle of nowhere. All this fresh air is bad for my lungs. / Nick: Cheer up, Ki. / Nick: Look at this as an adventure, a vacation! As we retreat from the hustle and bustle of society, we can relax and enjoy each other's company. / Ki:...
GPF Archive: Wednesday, April 12, 2000 Fooker: The ballad of Fooker Crocket, by Jason M. Barker. *AHEM* / Fooker sings: Born in a suburb in Californee, Smoggiest state in th' land of th' free, Raised in th' city so's he'd never see a tree... / Ki: Shattup / Fooker sings: Kil't by a b'ar, when he was twenty-three / [[He notices in dismay...
GPF Archive: Thursday, April 13, 2000 Fooker: All right, Fooker. You're being followed by a bear. Don't panic... / Bear [Wallace T. Bruin]: Panicking would not be a good idea. You might provoke me. / Fooker: YIKES! And it can talk, too! / Bear [Wallace]: Of course I can talk. I'm quite friendly, too. / Fooker: Whew! At least that means...
GPF Archive: Friday, April 14, 2000 Fooker: Gang, it is at this time I must quote the immortal words of Monty Python:... / Fooker: RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY! / [[All run]] / Bear [Wallace]: I must now make a formal declaration of "GRRR!" / {{Reference to movie: "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"}}
 
GPF Archive: Saturday, April 15, 2000 [[Nick and Dwayne, treed by the bear]] / Nick: So, Dwayne... Was this a planned part of our team building hike, or just one of those character building Kodak moments...? / Bear [Wallace]: <> / {{One panel, vertical}}
GPF Archive: Monday, April 17, 2000 [[Scene: top of tree]] / Nick: Well, it's been an hour now, and that bear that chased us is still down there... / Dwayne:Have you seen any sign of the others? / Nick: Not for a while. Ki and Trudy ran off one way, and Fooker another. / Dwayne: Aw, Nick, this is all my fault! I should never have come...
GPF Archive: Tuesday, April 18, 2000 Dwayne: I guess our top priority now is getting down out of this tree... / Nick: At least we know the bear isn't chasing after the others. / Dwayne: Nick, look! The bear is getting into our packs and eating our food! / Nick: Good! If he eats that, maybe he'll leave us alone. / Nick: Ya know, I've never...
GPF Archive: Wednesday, April 19, 2000 Dwayne: Great Scott! The bear that treed us can talk! / Bear [Wallace]: Silly human, of COURSE I can talk. / Bear [Wallace]: I escaped from a circus a few years back. My trainer was a disgruntled former Yale Literature professor. He taught me to read and write. Speaking followed naturally. / Nick:...
GPF Archive: Thursday, April 20, 2000 Dwayne: Great! We're caught up in a tree thanks to a talking, literature quoting ex-circus bear. / Nick: Say... Now that you've eaten all our food, would you mind letting us down to find our friends? / Bear [Wallace]: Sorry, old sport, but that is out of the question. I've had a terribly lonely life...
 
GPF Archive: Friday, April 21, 2000 Wallace: "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Nay, lint of my navel. Thou art like unto the light, fresh fur on a newborn cub's bottom..." / Dwayne: I don't think I can stand this much longer... / Nick: I wonder how the others are doing... / [[Ki is hanging off a cliff holding only to a root,...
GPF Archive: Saturday, April 22, 2000 Nick: Since our story has been so dramatic these past three weeks, we have decided to take a short pause today for this pointless interlude. / [[Fooker,dressed in a weird outfit, runs through the comic strip, passing Nick, while fish cavort]]: <> / Nick: ! / Nick: Thank you.
GPF Archive: Monday, April 24, 2000 Tag: For those who came in late: Dwayne's team building hiking trip has become a disaster! Currently, he and Nick have been treed by a hungry ex-circus bear, Fooker is missing, and Ki and Trudy dangle precariously off a sheer cliff... / Ki: Trudy, I can't hold your weight any longer! You're going...
GPF Archive: Tuesday, April 25, 2000 Trudy: Phew! I made it! The drop off this cliff is dizzying! / Ki: Good! Now help me up! This root is starting to break! / Trudy: I have half a mind to just leave you dangling, Ki... / Ki: Since that's all the mind you've got, why haven't you left? / Trudy: Give me one good reason I should help...
GPF Archive: Wednesday, April 26, 2000 Trudy: A mountain lion? You don't expect me to fall for THAT old line, do you? / Ki: Go ahead. Look behind you. / Mountain lion: GRRRRR... / [[Trudy has jumped back to holding off Ki off the cliff face]] / Ki: What happened to the fearless evil mastermind? / Trudy: "She who fights and runs away..."
 
GPF Archive: Thursday, April 27, 2000 Ki: Trudy, we have to think of something! The Mountain Lion can almost reach us / Trudy: You're so smart. Why don't you come up with something? / Ki: Yeow! He almost scratched me! / Trudy: Now what can go wrong?
GPF Archive: Friday, April 28, 2000 Nick: Dwayne, are you awake? / Dwayne: Barely. Why? / Wallace: Ode to tree bark... / Nick: I thought I heard the girls scream... / Wallace: ...by Wallace T.... / <> / [[Ki and Trudy have landed in Nick and Dwayne's tree]] / Ki: Mind if we drop in? / Wallace: ... Bruin...
GPF Archive: Saturday, April 29, 2000 Trudy: Does that bear ever shut up? / Nick: Not yet. At least it's better than being eaten by a mountain lion... / Ki: I'm not so sure... / Dwayne: Our only hope now is that Fooker will reach civilization and come back to rescue us. / Nick: We're doomed.
GPF Archive: Monday, May 1, 2000 Tag: For those who came in late: With the rest of the GPF crew trapped in a tree by a poetry spouting ex-circus bear, Fooker is their only hope... / Fooker thinks: Whew! I lost the bear, but I lost the rest of the gang, too! / Fooker thinks: Well, I shouldn't look for them on an empty stomach. I better...
GPF Archive: Tuesday, May 2, 2000 Fooker: All my food is gone! How did that happen? What a minute... What's this?... / Fooker: FRED! What are you doing in my backpack? / Fred: I fell asleep in the fridge and woke up here. Where are we? / Fooker: Lost in the woods with no food, thanks to you. / Fred: Look on the bright side. At...
 
GPF Archive: Wednesday, May 3, 2000 Fred: So you lost track of the others when you got away from the bear, right? / Fooker: And the bear could talk, too. / Fred: Uh, sure. Right. Whatever. Our top priority is survival. We can't help the others if we can't help ourselves. Fortunately, I've seen enough National Geographic specials to...
GPF Archive: Thursday, May 4, 2000 Fred: Three-leafed plants? Fooker, that's poison ivy! / Fooker: Poison ivy? That's a bad thing, right? / Fred: According to my calculations of your genetic history, you are highly allergic to it! / Fooker: You've been doing calculations on my genetic history? / Fred: No time for that now, man! We...
GPF Archive: Friday, May 5, 2000 Fred: Never mind the argument! We need to get you out of this poison ivy fast! / Fooker: Maybe if I walk extra carefully... / [[Fooker trips, sending Fred flying]] / Fooker: Oops... / [[Fooker has landed face first in the poison ivy. Fred is on top of Fooker's boot and so out of the poison ivy.]] / Fooker:...
GPF Archive: Saturday, May 6, 2000 Fooker: Great! I landed face-first in a patch of poison ivy! / Fred: Grace, thy name is Fooker. / Fooker: And now I'm starting to itch! / Fred: Really? Somehow I predicted that would happen... / Fooker: Fred! Give me a hand here! / Fred: I would, but I'm only a semi-gelatinous slime mold. Should I...
GPF Archive: Monday, May 8, 2000 Fooker: Quick, Fred! This poison ivy is killing me! What do I do? / Fred: Jump into that muddy bog over there. / Fooker in mud: <> / Fred: Now roll in that pile of decaying leaves... / Fooker: Is all this supposed to stop this terrible itching? / Fred: No, but it'll be a g reat story to tell...
 
GPF Archive: Tuesday, May 9, 2000 Fred: I can't believe you fell for all that nonsense about jumping in mud and rolling in leaves to stop your itching... / Fooker: Neither can I... / Fooker: At least it worked. I no longer itch anymore. No more poison ivy for me... / Fred: Shhh! What's that noise? / Fooker: It sounds like someone...
GPF Archive: Wednesday, May 10, 2000 Wallace: "Tree bark, oh, tree bark, how rough art thee; like unto the boulder free..." / [[Fooker, covered in mud and leaves, with Fred on his shoulder, confront Wallace]] / Fooker: Booga booga. / Wallace: AHHHH! A BOG MONSTER!
GPF Archive: Thursday, May 11, 2000 Nick: Look! The bear is running off! / Ki: And it looks scared, too! / Dwayne: I wonder what could be mean enough to scare him... / Trudy: What is that strange creature THERE?! / Fooker: The king of the wild frontier, who else? / All: FOOKER?!?
GPF Archive: Friday, May 12, 2000 [[Dwayne on a pay phone]] / Dwayne: Hi, honey... Yeah, the hike ended early... Any way you could bring the truck out to... Oh... Then I guess we ought to call a cab... What was that? / Dwayne: No... I wouldn't ask how the hike went if I were you... / Fooker [still covered in mud and leaves]: I had...
GPF Archive: Saturday, May 13, 2000 Dwayne: I'm really sorry about how the hike turned out, gang. I meant for us to share a valuable team-building experience; instead, it was a total disaster. / Ki: It's okay, Dwayne. Even fearless leaders make occasional mistakes. But we came out alive, so everything turned out okay in the end. / Dwayne:...
 

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