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| Goats comic strip from September / 20 / 2000: little fish, big dreams (2) | Everyone else here has adventures. I want an adventure too. Fish are good at adventures. / / What kind of adventure do you want to go on? / I don't know. What kinds are there? / / Mine tend to be of the "Waking Up in a Strange Bed" variety. / I sleep in a beer mug. http://www.goats.com/archive/000920.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 21 / 2000: little fish, big dreams (3) | That's it! No more waiting! I'm off on an adventure! HERE I GO!! / / / What's wrong? / I need help. http://www.goats.com/archive/000921.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 22 / 2000: little fish, big dreams (4) | Fish's Adventure Journal, Day 1: For the first time in two and a half years, I have left my beer mug. Finally, I am on my adventure. / / From this high place, I can see farther than I have ever seen before. I can feel the wind on my scales. I am free! / / Five more minutes. / You ready to come down? http://www.goats.com/archive/000922.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 25 / 2000: movin' on up (1) | Cherise is having a topless rooftop party. Interested? / Nah. Think I'm just gonna pay my tab and head home. / / Where do you get the cash for these alcoholic extravaganzas, anyway? / Through the magic of debit cards, my friend. / / Those are generally linked to checking accounts. / I don't bother the bank about small details, and they don't bother me. http://www.goats.com/archive/000925.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 26 / 2000: movin' on up (2) | That machine links to your checking account, weaselnuts. / I'm aware of that, Toothgnip. / / Sometimes it's easier to let people think you're clueless. They tend to leave you alone, which is... um. Ack. / / It's empty, isn't it? / No. Go get a wheelbarrow and some firearms. / Run. http://www.goats.com/archive/000926.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 27 / 2000: movin' on up (3) | I mean, I knew I was getting direct deposits from those websites I started, but I had no idea... / / I never actually bothered to check my account balance before. / / I would say something snide about your intelligence, but I don't think that would be wise under the circumstances. / Damn straight. http://www.goats.com/archive/000927.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 28 / 2000: movin' on up (4) | You realize what this money means? / Yeah. The next Pee-wee Herman movie is about to get financing. / / No... it means we can move out. Get our own place. / And leave Jon and Diablo? / / Did the Jeffersons stick around with the Bunkers? / Makes sense. We don't have to move to the Upper East Side, do we? http://www.goats.com/archive/000928.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 29 / 2000: movin' on up (5) | Jon, I... I have to talk to you. I'm moving out. I'm buying an apartment. / You're leaving? / / I know how lonely you'll be, so I'm leaving the animals with you. / No, you take them. I insist. The extra room will do them good. / / You don't want them either, eh? / Can you buy them a farm or something? In Ecuador? http://www.goats.com/archive/000929.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 02 / 2000: movin' on up (6) | So, big news about Phillip buying an apartment, huh? I suppose he'll be getting a place for you both? / Apartment? / / He... um. He hasn't told you. / No. / / This is the sort of situation where I always regret not having taken that hypnotism class. http://www.goats.com/archive/001002.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 03 / 2000: movin' on up (7) | Why did Lauren just walk out in a huff? / You haven't told her about the new apartment yet? / / Oh hell. You told her. / Odds are good she would have found out when she came over and you weren't living here. / / So? It's not like I'd be here to deal with the aftermath. / Pretty sneaky, sis. http://www.goats.com/archive/001003.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 04 / 2000: movin' on up (8) | What women say: / I mean, he's getting an apartment, and he hasn't even told me? It's not as if I'm definitely ready to move in with him, but don't you think it's something we could have discussed together? / / What goats hear: / I am emotionally vulnerable. / Apologies to Gary Larson http://www.goats.com/archive/001004.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 05 / 2000: movin' on up (9) | So Phillip's buying an apartment, and he hasn't asked you to move in with him? / He hasn't even told me. / / Well, do you want to live with him? / Well, eventually, but... no. I guess not. / / Perfect. You'll want to follow plan R-15. / Slight guilt followed by a bit of subtle manipulation. I like. http://www.goats.com/archive/001005.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 06 / 2000: movin' on up (10) | Lauren, we have to talk. / Actually, Phillip, I've been meaning to talk to you as well. / / I'm thinking about leaving New York. I'm just not sure what's left for me here. It's depressing. I miss seeing leaves and greenery and nature. / / So? I'll buy you a salad. / Oh, Phillip. Not every problem can be solved with salad. http://www.goats.com/archive/001006.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 10 / 2000: movin' on up (11) | So Lauren is going to leave New York. I'm buying a new apartment, but I know that I'm not ready to move in with her. / / Wacky isn't going to cut it this time. If I want her to stay, I'm going to have to do something... sentimental. / Yup. / / Cheese logs aren't considered sentimental, are they? / Nope. http://www.goats.com/archive/001010.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 11 / 2000: movin' on up (12) | Here. Put this on. / White after Labor Day? Really, Phillip, how tacky. / / It's a blindfold. I have a surprise for you. / You're not going to put on those leather chaps and make me call you "Fritz," are you? / / It's not like that. We're going outside. / You're not very reassuring, Phillip. http://www.goats.com/archive/001011.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 12 / 2000: movin' on up (13) | Okay... Just a few more steps... and take off the blindfold. / / Oh Phillip... It's beautiful. / It's the terrace for my new apartment. Now you won't have to leave the city to enjoy a bit of nature. / / Thank you, Phillip. I love it. / Good, because if you leave New York, the death of all those hydrangeas will be on your hands. http://www.goats.com/archive/001012.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 13 / 2000: movin' on up (14) | So I'll be needing some help taking care of the garden. / I suppose I could help with that. / / It would be appreciated. / Of course, it's a long trip out here. I'll need to stay over occasionally. / / I saved you a drawer. / You're a prince. http://www.goats.com/archive/001013.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 16 / 2000: movin' on up (15) | So Phillip and Toothgnip are off in their new apartment. / Yup. No more strange women in the bathroom. / / No one singing "Hold Me Closer, Tony Danza" in the shower. / No more couch. / / They have barstools at the pub. / Let me get my coat. http://www.goats.com/archive/001016.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 17 / 2000: evil in the air (1) | Man, I love autumn... that chill wind... / Ah, yes... late October, and a young chicken's mind turns to Satan. / / Satan. / There's evil in the air, Jon. Can't you see it? / / I don't see anything. / Well, the specks are very small. You have to have good vision. http://www.goats.com/archive/001017.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 18 / 2000: evil in the air (2) | It's enough already, Diablo. / But I just ordered another Cosmopolitan. / / No, the whole Satanism schtick. You're not a Satanist. / It's Reformed Satanism. / / When was the last time you did anything really Satanic, Diablo? / When was the last time you passed up a bacon cheeseburger, mister? http://www.goats.com/archive/001018.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 19 / 2000: evil in the air (3) | Look, if you're going to accuse me of being a lapsed Satanist, you'd better slap on a yarmulke and start conserving pork before the Hypocrisy Patrol comes and locks you away. / / That's not what I'm saying. / So what ARE you saying? / / I... I don't even know anymore. / And yet, your lips keep moving. http://www.goats.com/archive/001019.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 20 / 2000: evil in the air (4) | Okay, Mr. Less-holier-than-thou, I'll show you the true power of Lucifer. I'm going to resurrect your worst nightmare. http://www.goats.com/archive/001020.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 23 / 2000: evil in the air (5) | *gasp* Diablo... Satan... *pant* Hah. Resurrect... No no no no no no / Slow down, Jon. Take a breath. / / Diablo is going to resurrect my worst nightmare. / The subway series? / / Lori. / Oh. Jeez. That's even worse. http://www.goats.com/archive/001023.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 24 / 2000: evil in the air (6) | Well, if we're going to defend ourselves, we'll need a base of operations. / Pub. Excellent. Check. / / We'll need a way to barricade ourselves in so Lori can't get to us. / N.Y.U. fratboy corpses. I'll get my machete. Check. / / And we'll need to be extremely stylish. / Geek Patrol uniforms. Check. http://www.goats.com/archive/001024.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 25 / 2000: evil in the air (7) | What do you mean, Lori coming back?!? / Don't worry, Tommy, the Geek Patrol has the situation in hand. / / She is fired! Lori not getting job back, that for sure. / We're going to need all your weaponry and hefeweizen. / / I dock her paycheck retroactively. / Status report? / We've piled the frat boys in front of the door, but they keep crawling away. http://www.goats.com/archive/001025.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 26 / 2000: evil in the air (8) | If we're going to help Jon and Phillip keep that dirty zombie Lori out of here, we'll need a plan of attack. / / Bob, try to create a distraction. / A distraction from what? / / Jerrell... Jerrell, go gnaw on something in a manner that will scare zombies. / Die Die Die / Does distraction mean "Blow stuff up"? I can do that. http://www.goats.com/archive/001026.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 27 / 2000: evil in the air (9) | Okay, everyone, you know the drill... when the zombie enters, take cover and place your head between your legs. Or your nearest neighbor's legs. / / BOOM / / She won't be getting in through the bathroom. / Excellent work. http://www.goats.com/archive/001027.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 30 / 2000: evil in the air (10) | SHE'S HERE!
/ SHE'S HERE! / / Okay, everybody... get to your stations. And get ready to kick some ZOMBIE ASS. http://www.goats.com/archive/001030.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 31 / 2000: evil in the air (11) | Oh my God... it's worse than I thought! / Wait... That's not Lori. / / Nope. It's Jon's old Lou Ferigno inflatable punching bag! / / The horror! The horror! / It's a balloon, Jon. / Hulk smash! http://www.goats.com/archive/001031.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 01 / 2000: evil in the air (12) | Diablo, look what you've done... you've driven everyone into a frenzy for nothing. They're still extinguishing the toilets, you ridiculed me in front of my friends, and we can't get Jerrell to stop gnawing on the customers. / / I want you to think about what you've done here. Was it really worth it? / / Every minute. http://www.goats.com/archive/001101.html |
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