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Goats comic strip from June / 27 / 2000: reunion (8) The campus looks nice. / Yeah. / / Peaceful. / Very peaceful. / / How long do you think it'll take them to figure out the child locks? / Not long enough.
Goats comic strip from June / 28 / 2000: reunion (9) Dave! Wow, I haven't seen you in, like, two or three weeks. How's life? / Life is good, Jon. A delightful conundrum, ever unfolding. / / Did your brother make it up here for reunion? / Kevin? Wouldn't miss it. He's over by the registration booth, flirting with the check-in girl. / / I suggest you go and find out if my room has an eastern exposure, Miss, or you'll be picking splinters out of your intestine.
Goats comic strip from June / 29 / 2000: reunion (10) So your ex is here, huh? / Somewhere. I haven't seen her yet. / / I bet that makes you angry. Angry enough to disembowel complete strangers. / Well, no. Not really. / / Kev can help you with the disembowelments. / Violence is my forte. / Thanks, guys, but I'm, uh, allergic to bowels.
Goats comic strip from June / 30 / 2000: reunion (11) You got your food from a truck? / Hot Truck isn't just a truck, Lauren... it's an institution. Bob's been serving up tasty subs for 40 years now. / / I can't make heads or tails of the menu. / It's easy. For example, I'm ordering a double P.M.P. extra wet extra heavy soprano grease & garden liquid heat onion BBQ. / / I assume all those words have English translations. / Maybe. I think this is the first time I've been here sober.
Goats comic strip from July / 03 / 2000: reunion (12) The Fall Creek Gorge... a miracle of nature running right through campus. It took thousands of years for a trickle of water to carve this. / About the same time it's taking me to find any action. / / An oasis of rock, flora, and flowing water. It's like... it's like I'm talking to myself. / / Explain this "Skinny Dipping" thing I keep hearing about. / It'd be easier to demonstrate.
 
Goats comic strip from July / 04 / 2000: reunion (13) Jon? Jon Rosenberg? / Hi! Um... hi! Long time, no see. How are you? / / Good. / How's the... job? / Good. / And... the, uh, guy you were... uh. / / Jon, what's my name? / So good to see you you're looking great I really must be going see you soon.
Goats comic strip from July / 05 / 2000: reunion (14) So you have no memory of us dating at all. / Honestly, no. I'm so sorry. / / The semi-formal? The evening walks across campus? / Nothing. It was junior year... I had a bong permanently attached to my face. / / That explains so much. / Can you explain it to me? All I remember is listening to Tom Petty.
Goats comic strip from July / 06 / 2000: reunion (15) So the entire time I was seeing you... / Yes, I was stoned out of my gourd. Lived with some interesting people that year. / / You seem relatively stable now. / When I started calling an empty Yodel box an "evil whore", I knew it was time to cut back a bit. / / It's okay. I was stoned most of the time, too. / Ah. So that's why you dated me.
Goats comic strip from July / 07 / 2000: reunion (16) Actually, you may not be the only ex of mine that's here. / I know. Celia is here with her husband. / / You know her? / Yeah. You broke up with me to date her. / / Oh, you're joking. / Well, I wasn't attracted to you for your intelligence anyway.
Goats comic strip from July / 10 / 2000: reunion (17) It was fantastic seeing you again, Jon. Call me sometime. / Okay. / / / Who was that? / Damned if I know.
 
Goats comic strip from July / 11 / 2000: reunion (18) So, you ran into a girl whom you've actually dated, and who spent the afternoon with you, of her own free will. / Yes. / / And you completely neglected to find out her name or any information that would allow you to find her later. / That's the gist of it. / / Well, she clearly wasn't attracted to you for your intelligence. / That's already been established.
Goats comic strip from July / 12 / 2000: reunion (19) C'mon, Jon. I know what'll cheer you up. / That woman's phone number? / / Better. We'll break into her room. Kev, break into her room. / Excellent. / / She's not staying in the dorm, though. / Details. / Whoa! She has all the same stuff we do.
Goats comic strip from July / 13 / 2000: reunion (20) She wasn't imaginary. She was real. / Did anyone else talk to this disappearing ex with no name? / / No. No one else talked to her. / Maybe she's been chatting with your imaginary girlfriend from england. / / Go pack your stuff. We're going home. / Taken care of. Ghandi and the easter bunny are bringing my bags as we speak.
Goats comic strip from July / 14 / 2000: reunion (21) Did you find him? / No. His room is empty and all his stuff is gone. / / Can't blame me this time. I didn't even get a chance to see him. / I just wish I had a chance to say goodbye before he left. / / I have his phone number if you want. / That's okay Celia. I'm sure he'll call if he wants to talk to me.
Goats comic strip from July / 17 / 2000: diablo chicken and the literature of children (1) Whatcha reading, Diablo? / Uh... It's, Uh, The Satanic Verses. By Bob Guccione. Great stuff. / / No it's not... It looks like children's literature! / No! It's, um, "How to bake children into tasty pastries and make them suffer" by Melinda T. Snodgrass, esq. So back off! / / Hey guys! Guess who's reading "Harry Potter!" / You'll keep your mouth shut if you know what's good for you.
 
Goats comic strip from July / 18 / 2000: diablo chicken and the literature of children (2) See, Harry Potter isn't your average kid's book. It weaves pagan rites and satanic ritual in an appealing manner, thwarting the efforts of parents trying to raise their children in the Judeo-Christian tradition. / / Consider it research, in a fashion. / Who's this Hermione chick? She's hot. / / She's eleven years old, Phillip. / Is her phone number in here?
Goats comic strip from July / 19 / 2000: diablo chicken and the literature of children (3) Jon. Phillip stole my Harry Potter book. / But I waaaant it!! / Give me that. / / The two of you are acting like little kids. I'll give this back when you prove you're mature enough to read this... uh... children's book.
Goats comic strip from July / 20 / 2000: diablo chicken and the literature of children (4) I can't believe you got my Harry Potter book taken away. You pansy. / It's okay. We can get it back. / / Oh yeah? How? / Easy. We throw a sock hop down at the school gym. We can raise enough cash to save the book *and* the school! / / That's it. I'm going to kick your ass. / Let's leave my ass out of this, shall we?
Goats comic strip from July / 21 / 2000: diablo chicken and the literature of children (5) That's it, jon. Hand over the book, or prepare to face me in a WIZARD DUEL!! / / Here you are. I was going to return it to you anyway, since you've been such a good chicken today. / Really? / / Yup. / Fantastic. I wasn't quite sure how a pretzel rod was going to hold up under dueling conditions anyway.
Goats comic strip from July / 24 / 2000: fish presents: tribute week (1) Fish presents: Goats tribute week A tribute to socks! / / Socks are good! / Yeah. Socks are pretty good. / / Socks keep my feet warm. / I don't wear socks.
 
Goats comic strip from July / 25 / 2000: fish presents: tribute week (2) Fish presents: goats tribute week / A tribute to raw food! / / Sushi is great! / Mmm! Sush... oh. / / Susho? / Ooourghhhagh. / That wasn't sushi.
Goats comic strip from July / 26 / 2000: fish presents: tribute week (3) Fish Presents Goats tribute week A tribute to surliness! SURLY / / I feel... surly. / Surly? / / Yeah. / That's nice.
Goats comic strip from July / 27 / 2000: fish presents: tribute week (4) Fish presents: goats tribute week / A tribute to old jokes! / / What's the difference between ignorance and indifference? / I don't know. / And I don't care.
Goats comic strip from July / 28 / 2000: fish presents: tribute week (5) Fish presents: goats tribute week / A tribute to poetry. / / A man said to the universe: / Sir, I exist! / / However, / Replied the universe, / The fact has not created in me a sense of obligation. / Stephen Crane(1871-1900)
Goats comic strip from July / 31 / 2000: unnatural selection (1) Years I've been waiting for this... years. Finally, I am almost healed. / Well, head injuries do take a rather long time to heal. / / Now is the time to extract revenge upon my enemies. Now is the time to take my place as rightful heir to the planet's evolutionary legacy. / / Shall I bring that ice cream now, master? / Yes. Bring the ice cream.
 
Goats comic strip from August / 01 / 2000: unnatural selection (2) Get Craig in here immediately... I'm going to need him to make an announcement to the press. / / And put the attorneys on alert. I'll be needing them as well. / Anything else, master? / / Yes. Find out why it's so damned dark in here. / You turned off the lights, master.
Goats comic strip from August / 02 / 2000: unnatural selection (3) Welcome to NBC Nightly News. I'm Tom Brokaw. Today, Dr. J. Craig Venter, head of Celera Genomics, announced that his company has patented the human genome. / / "I think it's understandable that we would want to patent our assembly of the genome," Venter said at today's press conference. "Of course, anyone using the human genome without authorization will have to stop immediately." / / Disputing claims that God has a claim to prior art, U.S. Patent officials said that God has 30 days to file a counter-claim. God could not be reached for comment.
Goats comic strip from August / 03 / 2000: unnatural selection (4) Have you read the paper today? / Yeah. That bit about Charlton Heston in rehab had me rolling. / / No, the article about Celera. They've patented the human genome. / So? It's not my genome. / / Diablo, I'm going to have to return my genes to Celera. / If you've already worn them, they'll probably only give you store credit.
Goats comic strip from August / 04 / 2000: unnatural selection (5) Jon, I've been doing some research on this whole genome patent thing, and it reeks of my old nemesis, Gregor Mendel. Only he would deny people the use of their own genetic material. / / Mendel's been dead for 116 years, Diablo. I looked it up. / But when you rearrange the letters in J. Craig Venter's name, it spells "Gregor Mendel". See? / / No it doesn't. It spells out "raving reject," though. / Yeah, but that's not much of a name for a nemesis.
Goats comic strip from August / 07 / 2000: unnatural selection (6) We have reports of unlicensed use of the human genome at this address. / Nope. No humans here. / / Yup. I'm detecting mitosis and meiosis. Please come with us. / It was the chicken. I swear. / / A little help here, Diablo? / I'm getting my legs waxed at three. Is 4:30 good for you?
 

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